Dating a momma’s boy? Be grateful
I was tickled pink reading reporter, Alexis Stevens’ article on a recent survey about momma’s boys. Not shocked at all to see that the south is a breeding ground (no pun, intended) for them. Honestly, I’ve always believed that not unlike spoiled princesses, men who are a little spoiled by their mums get a bad rap.
It’s sort of a mixed message out there for single men: hate your mother? You’re heartless and hate all women. Call your mother on the phone every week? You are a Momma’s boy who still has some growing up to do. Which is it!? I’m sorry but it’s kind of silly to assume that a man who has a great relationship with his mother is somehow weak. It’s possible to be close to your mother and still have appropriate boundaries.
Ladies, in my experience, when you find a man who is close to his mother and treats her with love and respect, you have a keeper! Who do you think taught him how to interact with you beyond whistling at your short skirts?
Do you think men who are close to their mothers get a bad rap? What do you think is the reason so many “momma’s boys” are in the south?
Guys, if you are close with your mother, do you think this has been an asset or a liability in dating women?
What is the best advice your mother taught you?
Happy Mother’s Day to all the fabulous women who mother and nurture any child. You are all fabulous!
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
393 comments Add your comment
Around285
May 7th, 2010
8:11 am
I respect and love my mother but I am not the one to call every now and then. Man should be man respect but don’t be a wimp; momma’s boys annoy the hell out of me.
My friend’s a momma’s boy. He is the only child. When he finally had a gf at 30, he ran to tell momma and when he cheated on her he went to tell momma after he had told the gf that he cheated on her. Momma said u shouldn’t have told her.
From there I never wanted to see yet another momma’s boy in my face
Jeff
May 7th, 2010
8:11 am
If a woman I’m dating has less respect for me because I’m close with my mother, SHE has some growing-up to do. I’m close with everyone in my family. I will not be involved with any woman who doesn’t see that as a positive. Women say in public how they want men who are more sensitive, caring, thoughtful, blah blah blah. Then want to label those men with a derogatory title like mama’s boy? Might be an indicator why the nice guys out there aren’t falling all over themselves to date you.
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
8:13 am
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hmmmmmm mama’s boys I plead the 5th! Today will be a good day! HA!!!!!!!!!!
I love my mom and love being a mother!!!!!!!!!
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
8:17 am
it is fine to be close, love your mom, respect her, the whole nine yards, i do the same with my mom but when his mother tries to run the show run his life dictate, etc the whole nine yards it is a issue……I am sorry I can’t ignore that this occurs and has been for some time….I am going to stop short here but some just need to cut the cord at some point and trust that the way they raised their sons will benefit his wife and new home…..#jussayin’
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
8:27 am
Good Morning All,
Okay I am raising a only child(boy)and I guess I agree with Wisey. I have dated men raised by mama alone, most have been respectful of mama, any mistakes they have made regarding relationships with me or other women they have always taken full blame and never ran to tell mama. If anything the two “mama’s boys” that come to mind would rather die than tell their mama about the stupid things they have done in this life. I am aware there are men out there who are wrapped up in what their “Mama use to say.” but I haven’t met one yet.
Best advise my mama gave me “Men are like buses..just keep waiting another one will come along.”
mytw♥cents... fly girl
May 7th, 2010
8:30 am
Whateva, Wise! There’s a huge difference in a weekly call kinda good relationship & the true epidemic we’re facing ~ grown azz men who are still on the teat ( and not in a good way.) I remember cooking dinner for myself one night. Honey garlic glazed chicken wings. You invite yourself over. In addition to questioning my glaze over bbq sauce, you pout cuz there are no thighs & legs. (Logical, since I don’t like dark meat.) You say at least 5xs how ya mama woulda made some the way you like… GTFOH, who knew you were gonna be here for din-din?!?!
And if you watch Tough Love Couples, the full danger of being too much of a mama’s boy is shown. The ex-engaged couple got into it and he loudly & clearly told her she’s on the same level as his mama. He ain’t making any plans to elevate her if/when he wifes her, either. Le sigh.
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
8:35 am
girl mytw♥cents… fly girl I ahve somestories but I digress but chile please…..whew……..mother and their sons is a serious matter….I laugh at my aunt now with her son and his new wife………I was like dag you wanna marry him????? no women in America will suit your needs for your baby………we discussed this in psychology in undergrad…….i am going to find the scientific name for it……………….lmao
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
8:39 am
Another reason I love The Jefferson’s!!!! Mama Jefferson played that role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!
mytw♥cents... fly girl
May 7th, 2010
8:54 am
Lady J, I think Wise is frontin’ on this one for real. Ain’t nno future in ya frontin’, WD! LOL You ain’t been on God’s green earth 30 some odd years and avoided this fiasco… and I think it’s the Olympia complex or sumthin. Hey, he probably got that too. And Mother J was def the President of that club. I just don’t know how Weezie did it… oh yeah, she luvved-ed him. (Watch for jaded menfolk to point to the penthouse…)
CMS
May 7th, 2010
8:56 am
I’m a momma’s boy. I have no problem admitting that. If a woman has a problem with it so what. Do I call her everyday? I try to at least a couple of times a week. She had a stroke for crying out loud! I’m more concerned about the quality of her life than she is with mine.
Some women really don’t get it. At times they say they want a man who is family oriented, but when they are faced with the reality of someone else’s family dynamic it may turn them off if it doesn’t fit their preconceived notion. Sad but true.
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
9:02 am
@CMS dont mind these folks..I think its nice if you check on your momma after her stroke. I think folks are thinking along the lines of the guys who whine about not getting their way and say well this is how my momma did this or that. Checking on your parent when they are sick..does not a momma’s boy make.
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:02 am
SCREAMING LMBAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My name is Prince...
May 7th, 2010
9:02 am
My ex-wife questioned me one time, if your mother and me were in a burning building who would you help first? I told her considering that my mother suffered a stroke, I would help her first because you are a healthy woman. Then I ended the conversation with besides, if something happened to you, I could get another wife..I can’t get another mother. If a guy loves and respects his mother, he will always love and respect you.
Leggs
May 7th, 2010
9:03 am
Good morning!
WOW, having respect for your mother and calling every week or even two times a week makes me smile. A mama’s boy is not one that is attentive and respectful toward his mother. A mama’s boy is one who can’t make ANY decisions without his mother’s input. A mama’s boy is one who let’s his mother interfere with his relationship or even his marriage. A mama’s boy is one who puts his SO’s feelings and advice on the back burner to side with his mother. There are so many examples of what a “mama’s” boy is.
A man that loves, respects, takes care and helps his mother as much as he can is a MAN!
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:04 am
calling everyday is fine I call mine everyday and I see her everyday that’s not the issue……….I would look side ways if a man didn’t have some type of rapport with his mom…………………….
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:05 am
preach leggs I was thinking we were dicussing two seperate issues! LOL
Happy Mother’s Day Leggs!
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:06 am
ummmmmmmm your wife is first per the good book but of course I see your point honey!!!!!!!
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
9:07 am
@Leggs..EXACTLY! checking on your mother does not make you a momma’s boy.
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:15 am
ummmmmm Falcons Fan is TO being courted by the team????? someone just mention this how true is it??????
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
9:17 am
To be fair..we can talk about Daddy’s girls too. I am one. My daddy annoys me from time to time..but if I need something fix or repaired. My daddy can do it. I was talking with some folks a few days ago and I was saying I like manly men. A guy who is not afraid to get his hands dirty, that if he doesn’t know how to do something he atleast has sense to call someone for help and ask. Don’t make me have to call my daddy!
ATLBred
May 7th, 2010
9:17 am
@Prince – Dang, that had to hurt to hear. You might not find another wife that compliments you the way your wife does. The way I see it, if you have a great wife, it’s a lose-lose no matter who you save.
Mama’s boys are the ones who act like their mother’s husband instead of your husband if they are a single parent home. They seem to be incapable of making any major decisions without their mother’s approval.
Melo
May 7th, 2010
9:24 am
Grown men in Alabama, Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia are more likely than those anywhere else to talk to mom every day
Ther u have it,the reason for ur dating woes, ladies.
One of my cousins is a momma’s boy and hes about 30,married and lives with mom..
Never seen a lame grown ass man like him in my entire, i mean Entire lyfe!
Gets on my nerves!
Everything he does or wants to do something,mummy has to sign on on it or if she has an opinion,u damn right,hes rolling with mummy!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
sfl331
May 7th, 2010
9:27 am
Leggs has it right, ladies! And remember — you can tell how he’s going to treat you by how he treats his mama & his dog. If he’s a real mama’s boy and can’t make a decision without her input, etc. then he’s not going to have enough spine to be the man you need, either! But, if he’s loving & respectful, etc. — well, guess who taught him that’s how to treat a lady….!!!
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:28 am
AtlBred preach my aunt is facing this now….her husband dreads retiring bc he doesn’t want to be home with her….so sad but its true…her daughter is graduating college and bout to start her life her son joined the service and now is in korea with his new wife…..my aunt gives that chile hell bc she has nothing to hold on to any more…and yes her son is her baby beyond measures…..she is in a tizzy right now…..I just don’t understand after being married for over 30 years now you both can retire and enjoy your fruits why don’t folk want to be bothered with the ones they married instead they start with their kids….just read an article though when folks become grandparents they lay off the wife the mother that is….go figure….lol
Melo
May 7th, 2010
9:29 am
Good morning!
In all fairness to my cousin and for purposes of adequate disclosure,eghhhhh,cough….eghhhhhhhh…
I am a momma’s boy too..and the first born at that!
My daddy hates that, so i hear coz i give mummy lots of loot and none to him……
but thats his fault too coz he dont do none for her.
I am a momma’s boy and not ashamed to say it!
MOMMA’S BOY FOR LYFE!
SexyCool
May 7th, 2010
9:31 am
Three Words Daily – Let’s do it!
This is a totally fun entry today. LOL!
YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Lady J-live your life today, mama used to say..............
May 7th, 2010
9:33 am
too cute sexycool!!!!!! let it do what it do!!!!!!!
lololol @ melo!!!!!!
SexyCool
May 7th, 2010
9:34 am
“My ex-wife questioned me one time, if your mother and me were in a burning building who would you help first?”
Lesson: Don’t ask dumb ass questions.
AmazonRed™ - Mentally tough
May 7th, 2010
9:37 am
Happy Friday!
One of my guy friends asked on FB yesterday “who takes priority on Mothers Day – your wife or your mother?”
Many people answered “your wife” while defended his choice of “mother.”
I chimed in and said “if your vows stated “forsaking all” others, then it should be the wife.
He said that “all” didn’t include Mom. I had to remind him that “all means all”
(nor was I saying that Mom gets forgotten)
Good luck to that guy’s wife.
abc
May 7th, 2010
9:42 am
I call my parents at least once a week. I wouldn’t say I’m a mama’s boy, though, and I certainly wasn’t spoiled as a child — in fact, I’d say it was the opposite. Through my 20’s, I had a hard time forgiving them for all the crap they pulled. I haven’t lived in the same town or state as my parents for a very long time.
Here’s the deal: you only get 1 mother. Nobody will ever love you the way your own mother does, even if she’s not perfect — nobody’s perfect. Leave your mother and cleave to your wife, but don’t forget mom. Have flowers delivered for Mother’s Day if they live too far away for you to see them on Sunday.
SexyCool
May 7th, 2010
9:43 am
Um, yeah…I love my momma and TheDude loves his momma too. Ain’t nothing wrong with loving ya’ momma and being close to ya’ momma. (This coming from one who yesterday used an example of being able to live without her momma. LOL!)
So, love, honor, respect ya’ momma. Sht, you’re supposed to. You wouldn’t be here without her.
But, er, um…if you don’t know how to draw the line between being yo’ momma’s child and a doggone adult or if what yo’ momma says carries more weight in our house than mine, then we have a problem that needs to be addressed immediately.
And for some reason, I wanna throw in a “Yo’ momma” joke right here, but I’m not good at playing the dozens.
Leggs
May 7th, 2010
9:43 am
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS! The job isn’t easy, but it sure is very rewarding!!!
JtJ
May 7th, 2010
9:43 am
GM! and Happy Mother’s Day to all the real-mothers out there!!!
A momma’s boy who allows his momma to meddle in his personal life is just that….A BOY!! A man can love his mom, but should know that she should not call the shots in his life. A good mother would know that as well.
I dated a guy once (2 times) who claimed his mother lived with him because she had become too frail and sickly to live on her own. I tried calling him once after our second date and his mother answered the phone and said “Baby, don’t disrespect my house by calling here after 8 o’clock”. I was like :-0!! On our next date,he said he gave up his house to live with her to take care of her and he also revealed he was 48 and not 38!!! —–> NEXT!!
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
9:45 am
Well if the guy is married and has no kids…then Mother’s Day is not about his wife, because duh she is not a mom. It’s called Mother’s Day for a reason.
Leggs
May 7th, 2010
9:46 am
Sorry, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE SINGLE FATHERS!!!!
kimmie
May 7th, 2010
9:46 am
What’s sup, bloggers & blogettes?! TGIF!!!
I am really trying not to go on a complete rant about this topic! Yes, Amred, momma’s boys get on my LAST NERVE!!! There is a difference between a MAN that loves & respects mom & mom has cut the apron strings versus the one that’s still breast-feeding! The latter has almost an unnatural attachment to mother! He is a punk & will be one till the day he dies. Even the Bible says a man leaveth his parents and cleaves to his wife. Some just don’t get that!
I’ve never come across any man that did not love his mother, especially AA men. So that’s never been an issue. It had absolutely nothing to do with how he treated me. If he was going to be a dog, he did it & mother had nothing to do with it. I had one who was such a momma’s boy, his mom would call my apt when he spent the night & have him come over to do things around her house. And yes, his dad & full-grown sister were there that could help her AND she was not sick or anything. Just had to exert that control. She could have him back, I needed a real man.
SexyCool
May 7th, 2010
9:48 am
GMA had my eyes leaking this morning while watching the clip about the Ethopian immigrant whose husband left her right after they came tot his country with 5 of their kids and a nephew. She worked three jobs, all her kids graduated with honors from high school and they all attend Penn State on scholarship.
Her kids and her co-workers said such amazing things about her.
Yeah, I was all teary-eyed and sht.
JtJ
May 7th, 2010
9:48 am
Most of the guys I grew up with that were momma’s boys turned out to be …*sissy-fied*!! Too much momma ain’t go for ya!
kimmie
May 7th, 2010
9:49 am
A good mother would know that as well.
Amen JtJ!
Do some of these mothers know how they are handicapping their sons?
Leggs
May 7th, 2010
9:51 am
@SexyC ~ I had to leave the house before that segment came on…thanks for the recap!
kimmie
May 7th, 2010
9:51 am
Here’s the deal: you only get 1 mother. Nobody will ever love you the way your own mother does, even if she’s not perfect — nobody’s perfect. Leave your mother and cleave to your wife, but don’t forget mom. Have flowers delivered for Mother’s Day if they live too far away for you to see them on Sunday.
abc, this is beautiful!
I sure miss my mother.
Luv ya, Mum!
SexyCool
May 7th, 2010
9:56 am
Interestingly, Shthead wasn’t too fond of his mother – almost seemed to have a love/hate thing going on with her. (That should have clued my ass into some of his flaws. But alas, love will make you blind and stupid.)
It may have been because she gave birth to him so young that for the majority of his early life, they both lived with his grandmother and it seems as if the majority of the parenting came from the grandmother. He actually did treat her more like a big sister.
That and the fact that she had taken his ex-wife’s word over his in some issue during their marriage. And yes, he was wrong, but felt like his momma should have taken his side just because.
But, er, um…enough about that…
AmazonRed™ - Mentally tough
May 7th, 2010
9:57 am
A man who respects and loves his mother is a requirement. I haven’t dated anyone seriously who didn’t.
The difference is the ones who put mama first before everything. Who starts sentences with “my mom says…”
Yeah…stay away from those!
AmazonRed™ - Mentally tough
May 7th, 2010
9:59 am
Well if the guy is married and has no kids…then Mother’s Day is not about his wife, because duh she is not a mom. It’s called Mother’s Day for a reason.
Clearly they have kids, hence making her a mother. I really thought I didn’t have to spell that part out…
Kym-Operative for the Department of They
May 7th, 2010
10:00 am
Too add a bit of funny to Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who almost killed me more times than I can count.
Happy Mother’s Day..yeah I know this card can never replaced the 48 hours of labor.
Happy Mother’s Day to the Worldest Second Greatest Mom..apparently my husband says his “mother” is the world’s greatest..EEKKK!!!
Happy Mother’s Day Mother-in-law..thank goodness he got your brains and his father’s penis!
Mother’s Day–a commercial holiday designed to give crappy cards, stale, leftover Valentines candy, and dead flowers to your mom. And just so you don’t feel left out..here is your crappy card..I ate the candy and I know flowers give you hives.
JtJ
May 7th, 2010
10:01 am
@ SexyC- I know some guys who also don’t have a good relationship with their moms, to no fault of their own. Their mothers did not “mother” them and they grew up living with aunts and uncles because their mother wasn’t there for them. It is hard to love some when you resent them. Before anyone dismisses a guy for not having a good relationship with their mom, Ask why?? Some guys who have this story actually, turn out to be really loving and caring spouses and fathers because they are trying to make up for they did not have.
abc
May 7th, 2010
10:02 am
It is incumbent upon married men to cover Mother’s Day for both their wives and their mothers. Even if your kids are grown, reminding them about Mother’s Day is what a man should do, and doing for both wife and mother on Mother’s Day never goes away. Just do it!
Father’s Day is a different deal! Might as well be no such thing as Father’s Day!
Leggs
May 7th, 2010
10:04 am
I may be in the boat by myself on this one, but it irks me when people say, even the mothers say, “here’s the lil man of the house” and you stoop down to greet a 3 yr. old. He’s a little tyke and should be referred to as one. Mine is now 15 and a few have said “oh, she’s a woman now.” Like hell she is, she’s a teenager, let’s not overlap labels! That same little 3 yr old may grow up believing he’s the “man” of the house and act like it overstepping his boundaries. A teenager constantly hearing they’re a woman may start believing it and try to act like one.
It's me....lurker
May 7th, 2010
10:05 am
I think there’s a fine line and only mama boys can’t seem to define. It’s a fair balance. IMO, this subject is viewed along the same lines of dads, their kids and the SO in their life….well sort of kinda. The solution there was balance and somewhat here too. Except, as ABC said cleave to your wife but don’t forget mama.
For Real (Happy Mother's Day)
May 7th, 2010
10:06 am
abc: hit the nail on head with his comment. Funny how it’s okay for the chick to call their momma everyday but dude is a momma’s boy if he does the samething.
Blog ladies why do some women like to ask the “if me and someone he loves was on a cliff” question?