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Do you need better bedroom etiquette?

I can think of a couple of things a lot of people don’t feel comfortable telling their partners about their bedroom etiquette.  When it comes to being intimate, you would think that no conversation is off limits.  The reality is that some people have hang ups about sex and talking about sex with their partner.

What do you do when your partner has made a few wrong moves and you need to let them know? I think many people are oblivious to some things.  Maybe you are not showing proper etiquette to your partner and they don’t want to outright tell you about it.

For the purpose of enlightenment (that’s what we do here, right?!), what are ways to improve your “etiquette” in the bedroom?  What should you be mindful of when it comes to you and your partner?

According to your good/bad experiences, what should you do/ never do?

Even though it’s an “adult”, try your very best to keep things PG, people.  Imagine your seven-year old daughter/son/niece/nephew is reading. Talk in code!

615 comments Add your comment

Jeff

April 29th, 2010
8:07 am

It’s usually not the moves that she makes, it’s the ones she doesn’t that are the issue. If she just flat out doesn’t like something, I have to decide if I really want to live the rest of my life without it. To date, I have always chosen NOT to live the rest of my life without the things that make me happy.

Let’s not forget, not everyone has to match up in the bedroom, and that’s ok.

Jeff

April 29th, 2010
8:07 am

Nana nana boo boo, FIRST.

kinderbabe--18 days and counting! woohoo!

April 29th, 2010
8:10 am

this should be an interesting read today.:) i have learned that it is best to talk about any bedroom concerns outside of the bedroom. make sure it’s not before or after a session. making it a random conversation when both parties are relaxed and comfortable works out. it doesn’t need to feel like a “gloom and doom” appointment…lol.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
8:10 am

hmmmmmmmmmm am I lost for words LOL…..back to breakfast…will be back!!!!

Good Morning! Today is my Friday!!! WOOHOO!!!!

czBrat

April 29th, 2010
8:24 am

GM All!!

The reality is that some people have hang ups about sex and talking about sex with their partner. just call me the poster child for ‘hang-ups’. i’ll lurk and learn.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
8:29 am

Romance should never die…….communication is always key…..it is ok to explore but nothing should be expected or maybe automatic or taken for granted……..foreplay is very important…..all needs should be met, mentally, physically, socially, and I feel the intimacy should soar…..generally right!!!???!!! LOL

kinderbabe--18 days and counting! woohoo!

April 29th, 2010
8:31 am

good morning lady j.:)

Kym--I hope you dance.

April 29th, 2010
8:35 am

Good Morning All,

Hmmm if its the wrong move..notice is given then and there..You know it never really hurts to ask. And depending on how you ask..you might get what you want. Demanding behavior is grounds to shut down the party, and go to sleep. Never..never..try some new “trick” without proper notice..in other words..don’t off all willy-nilly making stuff up. The Karma Sutra is not for everyone.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
8:41 am

good morning kb!!!!!! :)

I like music in the bedroom and connectivity must be the theme….some connection……

Run4Life

April 29th, 2010
8:50 am

Just want to school some of the men. Based on my experiences, there are men out there who really do not know this. So listen up. Not all women go to the mountaintop during the act; most women go to the mountaintop before he goes in. (trying to keep it PG). Please be mindful of that and make sure you partner is ready before you start shoving it in. After all it should be a gliding motion.

I have explained this to my gentleman friend over and over. But he gets so excited that he only thinks of himself and is ready to go in after five minutes (I guess assuming that I will get mine later). Come to think of it I don’t think he has ever asked me if I am happy.

Of course, he doesn’t know that he is this close to being cut off completely, and put in the friend zone.

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
8:51 am

Love makes the bedroom flow natural. Lust does not.

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2010
8:52 am

Morning all –

Damn, I wish my memory wasn’t so short. I know I probably have a few things from past lovers I wish they would change, but can’t think of any. Fortunately, I haven’t had any really awful “chex” (is is that code word good enough? Since when did we revert down to a G blog? :lol: )

I’ll be back with an example after I think for a moment.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
8:55 am

awwww carlito it does…..the ingredient missing for most….for the moment loving can produce skewed results….lol

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
8:58 am

Lady J, I agree.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:01 am

what’s up with the Hawks crew???? Looks like a rainy fight party weekend ahead too!!!???!!! Parties will go on though….lol

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
9:11 am

Lady J, I head to the BlueGrass state tomorrow afternoon :) The Hawks need a coach who can keep them motivated.

Trevor0529

April 29th, 2010
9:13 am

Good Morning All,

Interesting topic today. I agree that communication is important when discussing bedroom etiquette but how you communicate with your partner. Come from a loving place and everything should go smoothly because what goes on in the bedroom is an ego thing. A man’s ego does bruise easily.

@LadyJ,

The Hawks simply got beat by a team that is out hustling them. The pressure should shift to Milwaukee for Game 6 because they are a young team and been here before.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2010
9:19 am

Morning
Everyone is so different that communication has to be key. I try to pay close attention to body language and vocal responses during the act. I’ll adjust accordingly. If I’m just clueless, I hope she’ll let me know.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:19 am

ego vs ego yep that is the main bedroom thingy………

carlito and trevor thx for that hawks assessment! LOL Hope they pull it out!!!! I haven’t been to dugans in a min guess I will catch a game there next tues…..hmmmmmmm

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:21 am

dreamsM non-verbals speak volumes……responses tell the tail too….be inclined to your mate…really explore and figure out what makes the love come down or love jones flow! ha! lol

Raqi

April 29th, 2010
9:21 am

Love makes the bedroom flow natural

Uh, no it doesn’t. Just because you love someone, and you can love them more than life itself, does not make you automatically know what they like or how to please them. Neither does it make you automatically comfortable to talk about certain issues. Caring for that person and their happiness can make you more accommodating and attentive to what they want and need but just loving them does not make everything flow naturally.

My husband and I have loved and been in love with each other for a long time yet we do talk about these things.

One thing he told me after we passed that stage of just wanting to ravish each at every available moment, he said “if I do anything that you don’t like or want just tell me”. Being told that helped a lot. It opened the door for the necessary communication that we need in order to have and maintain a good, happy and satisfying relations life.

And when you pay attention you can tell by body language and reactions if the person is liking what you are doing.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:22 am

Carlito ENJOY the Derby with your boo!!!!! :)

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:24 am

raqi you right with your assessment but the love sustains it correct??? for the moment doesn’t imo…..school me…lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:29 am

but then again what does love have to do with it if you aren’t being pleased….so communicate, communicate, communicate and don’t find it else where if you are married or in an exclusive relationship…..make it work for the good…..

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
9:31 am

Raqi, different “strokes” for different folks :) I said Love makes the bedroom flow natural. I did not say that there would not be speed bumps nor did I say it would be smooth sailing. Love making it natural means that you care enough to be considerate of the others persons needs, likes and dislikes and act accordingly. Whereas lust is more self indulgence even though you are still giving. So IMO, Love makes the bedroom flow natural.

Lady J, thanks :) LOL

Kym--I hope you dance.

April 29th, 2010
9:41 am

Okay I know I need to get off-topic quick before the really bedroom chatter starts..but this is kind of related. Have any of you checked out the promo for Sunset Daze? Now I am not a fan of reality shows..but err..I am thinking I am going to like this one.

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
9:47 am

Lady J, I agree. I also think that if you are in Love self discipline should be easy. But what do I know, I can count on one hand how many different women I have bedded in my 37 years of life. Three were nothing but Lust two were Love.

Carlito

April 29th, 2010
9:47 am

Kym,I haven’t seen it.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
9:52 am

Enter your comments hereas I slumbered last night and hugged and kissed my brown throw pillow I was listening to Pandora’s Jeffery Osborne station……

This song rocks…..
When you want all the warmth that you deserve
And the heat is on your mind
Don’t you even think about it
I’ll be there just wrapped around you
I can’t hold back what I feel inside. Its just a fact

1st chorus
That you should be mine. Anything you want
Youve got to fortify my love, you fortify me,
You should be mine. Anything you want
Youve got to fortify my love

2nd chorus
And you woo-woo-woo, and you woo-woo-woo
And you woo-woo-woo.
You should be mine, all mine

Any way that your heart has been denied
Ooh, you can come to me
Every time that were together
Just becomes the good thing weve got
Something this good can’t be defined. One things for sure

1st chorus
2nd chorus x 2

In the height of your worries
Worries runnin too deep for you
When it all becomes too much, too much, too much
I’ll pull you through
I can’t hold back, what I know inside. Its just a fact

1st chorus

*My love will be fortiified one day! :) There is hope!~

Kym--I hope you dance.

April 29th, 2010
9:53 am

@Carlito..the first two episodes were last night. Go check out the promos..http://www.wetv.com/sunsetdaze

If I am going to retire it will be like this..

i'm swiss

April 29th, 2010
9:54 am

“Please be mindful of that and make sure you partner is ready before you start shoving it in.”

@ Run4Life — Shhhhhhhhh…. don’t tell all the guys this secret. You’re gonna ruin it for us dudes who already know this…. :lol:

“if I do anything that you don’t like or want just tell me”

Raqi — Exactly. Not everybody likes the same things. Just have to be comfortable enough with each other to say what you want. And frankly, if you’re comfortable enough with me to let me bury my face in your crotch, then you should be comfortable enough to tell me how you like it… :lol:

Melo

April 29th, 2010
9:55 am

Caring for that person and their happiness can make you more accommodating and attentive to what they want and need but just loving them does not make everything flow naturally.

@Raqi??

so u can care without luving??
Howz that ever possible??

kimmie

April 29th, 2010
9:55 am

Morning folks!

Don’t really have anything to add to this. All is great in that area for me & if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be discussing it on the blog. As for past men, well that’s in the past where it belongs, good or bad. What happened, happened & now it’s over. And every person is different, so every experience is different.

Have a good blog day – will pop in later when the topic changes.

SlimOne killed the wicked witch

April 29th, 2010
9:57 am

Good morning yall…see that today’s blog is the four-play to Freaky Friday.

“I try to pay close attention to body language and vocal responses during the act. I’ll adjust accordingly”
@Dreams – that right there is how I mostly come up with the game plan. It’s sort of like playing sports. You know the jist of the game, might know a few plays, but until you do a scrimmage to sort of see how it all plays out, you don’t really see where the holes in your game is. As you play different teams or the same team, you try to match up your offense/defense to theirs. Now if you are totally clueless to the point of the game then you really need to go back to the basics and watch a few plays on film. LOL!

In addition to that, I am a pretty cool with verbal communication. I love to exchange info with folks so on one of those hour long conversations, just ask the questions you want to know the answers to, as far as what your partner likes. Be like, Mmmm you know the other day when you were kissing me softly behind my ear?…well that really started to get my engine fired up. :mrgeen:

i'm swiss

April 29th, 2010
9:58 am

Oh, and off topic — RE: the Hawks… I am now officially rooting for the Bucks to close it out on Friday. The sooner the Hawks lose, the sooner they can FIRE MIKE WOODSON! This team is pathetic. Should have been a sweep, based purely on talent. But instead, the Hawks have let an undermanned, undersized team out-hustle them right out of the playoffs… Disgraceful….

Trevor0529

April 29th, 2010
10:00 am

Swiss, Its hard to fire somebody when their contract is up. He may just leave altogether.

i'm swiss

April 29th, 2010
10:01 am

Yeah, I read Philly might take him off our hands. Here’s hoping…

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
10:02 am

dag don’t go hard on Mike yall!!! lol

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
10:05 am

sooooo ummmmmm mike smith gets a pass too along with matt ryan????? this football season will tell it all as last season showed us what’s really in store! LOL pun intended~lol

Melo

April 29th, 2010
10:05 am

I read Philly might take him off our hands. Here’s hoping
@Swiss??

so u want Lenny Wilkins back and the guy who got u in the playoffs aint good enough anymore…..

See how memories fade??

mqew

April 29th, 2010
10:06 am

Morning,

I think some good points have been hit. I started to write some TMI stuff, but it’s early we have some time to get to that point :lol: :lol:

Generally, I’m fortunate enough to be with a especially caring and attentive lover :-) ME, well not so much, but how much caring and attentiveness do men want anyway… :lol:

Through our years, we’ve discovered what works well, really well, and hot damn well… BUT, it changes. It’s not always that spot/position/twist/etc that will hit the jackpot… so that always keep it interesting for him/us. Where is it today :lol: :lol: :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2010
10:08 am

Slim You have to always be ready to adjust your game. If your plays aren’t scoring, then you gotta dig deeper into the playbook or come up with something new. Oh, and watching game film is always helpful. lol

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 29th, 2010
10:09 am

But he gets so excited that he only thinks of himself and is ready to go in after five minutes

Run4 how old is your friend? I ask b/c when I first started dealing with my boy toy we had that issue but he was in his early twenties…so err ahh that had to be addressed quickly.

SexyCool

April 29th, 2010
10:09 am

Three Words Daily – Anything is possible.

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2010
10:09 am

Oh, and off topic — RE: the Hawks… I am now officially rooting for the Bucks to close it out on Friday.

swiss – While I don’t give a rats tail about this series, I hope it will be pushed til Sunday. After the loss last night, the boo (who is not a Hawks fan) suddenly wants to go. :lol:

I can get $70 tix for $30 so I snatched them up. Now I just need the game to happen. :lol:

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
10:09 am

dreamsM right on with your 10:08!!!!!! Thumbs Up!

It's me....lurker

April 29th, 2010
10:10 am

Etiquette? Not applicable…IMO. When I think of etiquette I think of something where there’s a hard line of application. Meaning, telephone manners (”speaking” versus “dis ha”) or table manners (eating with your mouth close versus mouth wide open). Lovemaking and the art of is simply a matter of what you like and desire and feel.

Lady J-Let's do the unthinkable-I'm Ready~

April 29th, 2010
10:11 am

yep it is sexycool!!!!!!

SexyCool

April 29th, 2010
10:11 am

Kym – LOVE that song. Possibly one of LeAnn’s greatests.

It's me....lurker

April 29th, 2010
10:11 am

Lovemaking for some is being brow beaten all the way through while for others it’s smooth and easy and deep and thrusting….