Good Morning All,

Okay I read this topic twice and I am still not sure what it is you are getting at Wisey, but I will take a stab at a answer. First..when I think of chivalry I don’t just think of doors being open or pulling out chairs. I think in terms of respect for women period. That means not refering to to women as tricks, garden tools, itches and any of the other colorful words and phrase used. I know women used these words toward each other and I expect better of us too..but I really..really..really hold men(excuse..those who call themselves real men) to the fire..regarding this kind of talk. But considering the current trend and the fact that the future(current young people) are about as bright as tree stumps..I would think that chivalry is going the way of the dinosaur.

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Kym I read it twice too…..Chivalry isn’t dead and romance either….It is harder to find but once you have it don’t abuse it or take it for granted…..stay humble…..I always say Thank You……A person, man, or woman doest have to go out their way for anyone but when they do it is a great feeling of security and I appraciate the little priceless acts…..helping me put on my coat or adjust my chair for my comfort…..Thank You and the acts will continue without thought…..

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Kym i thought about the younger generation too not that I am much older but their values and our values and self pride is different….I have work with young adults for 9 years now and from early 2000 to currently it is getting worse…..In early 2000 they wanted to be smart and different and had manners, etc, now it is draining motivating the unmotivated young people…..so it is sad to say that yeah over time it may disappear bc when you don’t know you just don’t know….

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So I believe the better question is are we teaching are young men and young women to have hight expectations?

@LadyAJ – Well put…foundation gotta start somewhere…but then I think is it really the teachers who fail or the young students that just are too hardheaded to listen to the wisdom about chivalry?

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I would think that social act of teaching starts at home…….parents lay the foundation IMO…..

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eh … i only EXPECT chivalry from my man. then it’s a gesture of love. i expect pragmatic politeness from everyone else.

for example, if you see me carrying an awkward box with both hands, i expect:

* my man to take the box
* my friends (male or female) to offer to carry it and/or help me with the box
* Random Dude or Random Broad to grab the door

that said, i think gender roles only become a problem when you’re expectations are incompatible. chivalry is a turn-off when a man is pushy about it.

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i’ll just be reading today. have a good one everybody!:)

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we need to get paid more money for our social job of teaching values and respect, it isn’t compensated……and much less respected bc the 1st thing out their smart mouths is “you are not my mama”…..point taken nevertheless good guy……

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Vote out the incumbents and start over

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chivalry is a turn-off when a man is pushy about it.

@anon – that’s true too. EX: like if you see a woman clearly having no problem with some bags, don’t rush over and insist you help her, but kindly ask and if she says no, then respectfully wish her a good day. but to just be pushy about it like “c’mon im just tryna help, i really insist, im not letting you walk to your car with all that by yourself, i refuse to let you do it” THAT is pushy chivalry and it screams insecurity and comes off creepy. Be kind enough to help, but be respectful enough to respect a woman’s wishes and that right there is more chivalrous than the act of helping her carry the bags in the first place. It’s just about thoughtfulness and respect. period.

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@dan two examples. from two different dudes.

1. we pull up to a parking spot. he turns the car off and opens his door. i go to open the door to get out.

dude: “close the door.”
me: what?
him: “close the door. that’s my job.”

then strolls his way over to my door to open it from the outside. really? you’re going to flex your man muscle over a car door? and then take your sweet time coming to the passenger side to open it. man, we could have been inside already.

2. i had some ikea furniture to assemble. i <3 putting stuff together. i was looking forward to the task when i bought this stuff, really. so i take everything out of the box and start reading the directions.

then boyfriend: "i'll do it."
me: "it's okay, i can do it."
him (insistent tone): "i'll do it."
me (confused face because he is being insistent): "i can put a desk together."
him: "let me do it."
me: "i actually like putting furniture together. so, i got this."
him: *pouty face.*

i mean really? fussing because i want to put my own furniture together? the tone wasn't "do you want help." it was "i am the man, i will do it."

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yesterday that is…..

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but chivalry has two parts.. The man part and the woman part..

@DK – Amen to that

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Women can be “alluring ladies,” with an emphasis on the “ladies.” Why should women expect men to practice chivalry in any expected tradition when so many of them don’t exhibit ladyhood? Even some of today’s moms encourage sexiness over self respect with their daughters. Women fall for often-unbecoming “slut fashions.” They practice slut behavior and body language,modeled by cheesy celebrities and reality TV “stars,” that send messages about who they are, as well as their expectations of how people should treat them. No wonder boys and young men are confused.

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Jaye – Well alright.

ABC – Here here!

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I consider myself a gentleman and kind dude….but I’m not a sucker. For example, I’m habitually late for work but I dont care how pressed for time I am, if I’m ahead or slightly behind a woman, I will open the door for her and wait for her to walk thru. However, when I ride public transportation I only give up my seat to mothers and older women. The chick with the 6″ stilletos who think she’s all of that can stand and hold on the the rail.

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Chivalry is not dead at all but it is being lost. Myself personally will always be chivalrous because that was the way that I was raised. I treat women the way that I want my mother, aunties, grandmothers, cousins and etc to be treated. With that being said some of the women that I go out with are surprised when I open the car door for them, pull out their chair, help remove and put on their coat etc because they are not use to that from other men. As far as the younger generation they do not know what it means to be chivalrous. I have no kids but when I coach my basketball team, I always teach, show and expect my boys to be chivalrous especially since majority of them come from single parent homes.

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Good morning!

How can u have chilvary(respect for women) when the women are succumbing to and being used by BET,with women busy rubbing their booteys on men in videos?

Those images u call “entertainement” have contributed to the demnise of respect for women in general.And then u have families who aint raising their kids right…..
Chivalry is respect and doing something kind for the women without expecting a return.Consider that example of the guy who threw in his $40.00 in yesterday’s MIA and didnt want to go further. Paying that tab for that lady friend wld have been a gesture in chilvary but instead what does he do?? Pout! Over $15.00…???

Chilvary is dead and uall women are contributing to its demise…selling out for trifle dollars!

Good Morning!

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My etiquette and chivalry pet peeves:

1. Women- please be knowledgeable on your role when a guy is being a gentleman. If he gives up his seat, open the door or gently hold your arm as you walk up or down steps say thank you.

2. Men- please stand when a woman gets to the table especially if it is a formal gathering and don’t forget to pull out her chair and allow her to sit first.

3. Both sexes- if you pretend to be this knowledgeable being of all things nice and classy stop talking with your mouth full.

4. Both sexes- Stop saying you like sushi and is a sushi connoisseur and all you know is a California roll. —à Please learn to use chopsticks properly.

5. Men- If you are meeting a lady on a date at the actual function. Please make sure you walk her to her car.

6. Both sexes- If you ask you ought to pay. Yes if you suggest the date you should be prepared to pick up the ticket.

7. Both sexes-If you are asked out. Let the party that asked you out decide on where you all will go. If he says Chili’s than, go to Chili’s and don’t say I want Cheesecake Factory. Why not ask him out the next time and take him where you want to go?

8. Both sexes- Dress for the date. If you are going to Piedmont leave the Yves St. Laurent’s stilettos at home. Men leave the cufflinks. If you decide to go and you are already dressed up peel some of that junk off.

9. Both sexes- Stop talking about what your mommy and daddy did for you. Ladies I got news for you Mister ain’t your daddy. Fellas, Ms. Lady is not your mama so stop expecting us to be.

10. Just have fun and read up on chivalry and etiquette if you were never taught. You can google the rules while you are playing around at work.

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Morning all –

Let’s see…this new brand of dude doesn’t mind being supported by a woman.

He doesn’t mind being chased…or even encourages it.

His expecations of women are high…while the expecations of himself are low.

He hasn’t seen a positive example of commitment…and therefore has no model of yet to emulate.

This of course, doesn’t mean all men are like this. But there is this new brand of dude out there that I do wonder if they rock panties just like I do.

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Why do women deserve to have the door held open for them? Or to go first? Are they not strong enough to carry their own boxes? Dang, this is quite confusing.

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If you desire chivalrous behavior, then be a lady.

abc How would a guy know if I am a lady or not in a brief 1/2 second encounter at the door? Or if we are on a crowded train?

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@Proff!

Thats an awesome list! good job.

U truly were professorial there,hope they’re listening!

What i have come to realise is that some pple dont have respectable elders in their fams,to guide them on some grown up men/women things.

This forum helps!

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it does go both ways and I practice it…..just being kind to humans period it doesn’t matter of romantic gains and lost…..this is something that is within to do without thought for some….

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dk i may have to agree a bit wierd to me too…..but some like it that way….

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Morning blog crew!

Raqi – You said pretty much what I was going to say. I look at chivalry really as good manners and respect, which go for all genders, not just men. We should show basic courtesy to our fellow man, woman & child. I’ve held the door, given up a seat and helped with packages for just as many men as I have women, old and young. It’s nice when good manners are shown to me, but I go on if not. I ALWAYS smile & say thank you to everyone, male or female, when they do something nice for me. They all seem to appreciate it and it makes them feel good in return. This is how I was raised. Good manners have taken me VERY far in this life and I will always be eternally grateful for my parents in raising me that way. So alot is really due to upbringing. I recognize that others have not been so fortunate. I love it when little boys and girls show their good manners. It gives me hope for the future. After all, I hope our future young people won’t have to deal with issues such as those tired forums on why they can’t find a good husband or wife.

I don’t get this notion that men think women have to earn their chivalry. What do videos queens and other behaviors not becoming of a lady have to do with a man showing good manners to someone in passing, much less a girlfriend or wife? So what if she’s not used to it? Show her there’s a better way.

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I agree with ABC it really is just manners. I mean if I see a dude walking with stuff in his hands I am not going to stand there and watch him struggle with the door anymore than I would another woman. My son grabs the door for me going in places and then holds the door for the man/woman who maybe coming behind me. If I am alone and going out the door and there is a guy behind me I hold the door so he can catch it with his hip or arm. I mean that is just polite and good manners.

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Prof – Not knocking the wh0res cause they have their purpose too.. I just asked how can a man tell the difference.. I myself have succumbed to the ways of the loose lady but I digress..

Although if you look at the statement.. I said wanna be wh0res.. These are normal babes subscribing to the TMZ mentality and wanna be something they are not..

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Not really sure what WISE is truely asking…

Chilvary isn’t dead, but much appreciated from most women! (Even when it’s from lil homie holding the door all the while looking at your booty )

The Protector Role – As far as this is concerned. First, I try to avoid any type of scenerio that a Protector is needed cause people are crazy and you don’t know who’s packing. SO, with that said I would only expect a SPOUSE to, in essence, put his life on the line for me, (if necessary cause leaving should always be optimal). BUT, of course, that SPOUSE would gladly do so.

If he’s just a SO, well, I DON’T expect him to do anything physical, just to get us the hell out of dodge so nothing goes down!!!!

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Prof – I like your list. Please specify for peeps to look up how to properly hold a knife and a fork!!! Lawd it kills me when I see grown ass peeps in decent place CLUELESS on how to hold a knife and fork

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MQ – That bothers me to no end how a grown man or woman cant use utensils properly.. And to see them cut a piece of meat is just horrible..

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Of course he wouldn’t know, Professor. Chivalry would be presented with respect unless the respect is proven unwarranted, then to be replaced with simple good manners. Consider that the definition of a gentleman can be summarized as ‘one who never makes those around him feel uncomfortable.’ If that sentiment isn’t returned in kind, then respect will diminish.

In case of strangers in public, I tend to lose respect for those conducting cell phone conversations while walking around, and I may not even bother holding a door for a woman that’s been talking on the phone in the elevator and on the walk to the entrance. I consider her to be cluelessly rude, and don’t bother with being all that polite to someone that rude. Someone listening to their iPod, singing and dancing along while everyone else is trying to get someplace, is likely to get a similar reaction. A guy on the golf course the other day was carrying along an old-fashioned boom-box, I mean really! Sometimes, people can demonstrate their lack of worthiness for respect with the first impression you have of them.

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@DK thanks, I have seen those TMZ types

@mqew I agree..

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I don’t know if anyone has read the article about the Homeless gentleman in NYC who was killed and left on the street while people walked passed his body. But according to reports this man was trying to defend a woman from an assault when he confronted the man he was stabbed. The man ran off in one direction the one in the other. Calls to 911 had the police running all around and it was not until hours later that police actually found his body. The whole time people were walking pass him lying there on the sidewalk. I think this story is very telling not only about chivalry in our society..but also on the cold-hearted way we(yeah we) view each other. To see someone lying there dying and walk over them or around them..is just too heartless for words. But we have become so insensitive to the needs of others that its just..ughhh!!!

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wow…..

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mqew- the knife and fork is a good one! I forgot about that one. I saw one dude looking like he was trying to stab his steak, and his chick look like she was trying to kill the chicken…they both were trying to cut against the grain of the meat.

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Everyone is worthy of basic respect. Who are we to judge.

As for this “new brand” of women and men that some of you speak of, all I ask is that you don’t ASSUME that everyone you meet is of this new brand. They are not.

And for the record, bad manners/lack of chivalry are a dealbreaker with me if you are interested romatically. No ifs, ands or buts about it. If you don’t know, you better find out BEFORE you deal with me.

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Foul mouthed, quick to call another woman a b*tch, always combative, then wants a door opened for her or a chair pulled out, along with other chivalrous acts. A man will notice that behavior and automatically think not. Check your mannerisms…..MANnerisms

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DK – LOL!!

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lurker – Then why would a man be dealing with such a woman anyway? One he’s passed such judgement on?

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@abc

I’m not in disagreement with your statement, talking on cell phone’s in crowded areas, while waiting in line, etc. is rude.

But, maybe it’s me too, their actions don’t define my reaction.

Think the “liberty mutual commercial” – they don’t know if the haven’t been taught or don’t see it.

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@Melo,

I don’t care if it is big city or small town. The man was dying..there was a blood pool under him..let me stop before I start crying again. Foolishness I say..Foolishness.

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meant same and excuse…..hmmmm I am ready to go……lol

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Being awful to servicepeople is something I notice too.

The casual dimissing of someone there (to do a job), and having the effect, or offering service; and folks act as if the person isn’t there.

See it at the airports, hotels, restaurants….

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I get what he’s saying and not that you cant talk on your phonein public but when youre oblivious to people around you or talking like youre alone.. Thats a Problem.. Nobody wants to know about youre big toe getting smashed between the bed post while you were smashing.. Or that you just made mad money on the bricks, kid..

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Morning
Chivalry died in medieval times. What we now refer to as chivalry is just the small part of the actual code that is convenient for women. Now, courtesy and good manners are alive and well, despite what the propaganda promotes. Every generation says that the generation after them is worse. Our parents said it about us, our grandparents said it about them, etc. We don’t need a knighthood code or a book of etiquette to know how to act. Some aspects of chivalry are not aligned with what I believe, and some aspects of etiquette are garbage as well. It’s simple: be a good person, and treat people with the respect and courtesy that you require for yourself.

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@DK – thats what i was tryna say just said way better lol

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Kym – Not only can I hold the door for you but Leroy can also hold you, Baby.. Leroy will also be chivalrous and hold ya booty too

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lmao! @DK

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abc, I am kinda like you on the cell phone thing. It doesn’t bother me to see people on their phone but it does get under my skin when in closed or close areas and they are babbling on in high volume.

Respect the people around you. I see folks get so involved in the conversation they are having on the phones that they nearly walk over other people. They don’t pay attention to what they are doing. I saw this lady the other day that didn’t take the time to thank my husband for holding the door for her because she was too busy talking on the phone.

It’s just rude.

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@mqew Sure I will be glad to give you the info..send me your email addy and I will shoot you a email right now.

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Lady J,

Dude had about 15 years on me, and I was really that he did not know. Sometimes I get the feeling that people are thrown into things. Like this conference I got the feeling that he was newly promoted or filling in for someone. As for people not knowing how to eat and such…I get the feeling the money can, but the learning did not. I know some folks that careers took off, however they were never taught the social aspects. I hope that makes sense.

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to respectfully be silent

abc, my dad taught us at an early age to not hold conversations in languages that others in your company cannot understand. He said it is disrespectful. Now this does not apply to strangers but if he and I are in the company of my husband my dad and I will only speak English. If it is something that we cannot talk about in front of my husband or whomever then we just don’t talk about it at that time.

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@abc – yes, but if the conversation is not like i said loud, cussing, or im making unnecessary hand gestures hitting people all in the face then what is the problem? you can burst into song if you want, but im clearly not hurting you by my talking on the phone especially in an emergency, so you doing that will just come off as rude…i just don’t get the logic. you say it as if im torturing everyone in earshot with a simple soft conversation and no one HAS to be silent you are free to do what you please.

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Raqi – and speaking another language is sexy.. I speak slanguanese with the best of them..

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@4G

In an elevator, or office, speaking loudly is relative.

And if it’s an emergency, you either a)shouldn’t get on the elevator for fear of losing service; or b) likely wouldn’t get service while on the elevator anyway.

It’s a matter of respecting other people’s space.

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You just don’t get it, Guy. That’s fine; nobody’s going to impose phone etiquette upon you. Tell you what though, next time you’re talking on your cell in an elevator, note how many people are staring at their shoes with a grim expression. You’ll be the reason why.

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lmbao @ DK!!!!!

Professor you right!!!!!

Those banquet setups are funny…..lol….

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Morning, all…

DreamsM — I totally agree w/ your 10:27… Social norms are always in flux, so what’s considered well-mannered changes from generation to generation. Which is why old people will always think the youngsters are a bunch of ill-mannered hooligans, no matter the generation. Thirty years from now the old folks will probably be saying something like, “dag nabbit, back in my day when the ho’s would drop it to the floor, they would only smack that booty… now, they’re all spreading their cheeks open and all sorts of foolishness…. SMDH….”

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@Dan – that i agree with, but if im in the mall or a restaurant and my cell rings im going to answer it and ill be seriously confused as to why abc is intentionally in my ear singing to annoy me just because it’s a public setting…lol not saying abc would but thats what im getting. and if i do have to answer my phone is a closed public setting it will be brief and i will apologize. simple manners.

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DreamsM, do you mind giving us a few the rules you feel are garbage?

mqew- Now I have been known to sneak a few cookies out the resturant

Last story….

We were at a nice seafood spot on vacation. There were three couples. We all decided to share a seafood platter that included shrimp, oysters and crab legs as an appetizer. One of the guys in our party went wild talking about how he love some crab legs. When the platter came we all started eating and talking. However, dude stop talking and went crazy on those crab legs just str8 gone. He was eating like he did not want anyone else to get any. I tried ignoring him, but I was PUSHED to my limits when he reached over me and snatched the last few crab legs and bit into the crab leg with his teeth. He did not bother using the utensils he just bit into the crab leg. I looked at him and said, “Are you serious, is this for real?” He told me that is how I eat my crab legs. His GF looked like she wanted to get under the table.

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“While dating and during my daily activiy I have always acknowledged and praised the man with a smile and a “thank you” for opening my door, offering an arm, and helping with my jacket.” Being thankful to the man that is chilvary, this is a way to show your appreciation as a woman.

Men: Don’t get discouraged because one or two, woman you opened the door for didn’t respond in a polite manor, that just tell you she either don’t have any manors, ungrateful or don’t know when a man is being respectful towards her. Most women appreciate a man opening the door, pulling out the chair, waiting for the lady to be seated first, at the dinner table. I myself can respect a man who will do those things for me and still do have men to do them and not look for anything in return but a “thank you”. Not all men want anything from a lady because he opened the door for her. An if women think this…you really need to get out more.

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closed public setting = elevator, office, etc….

brief (10 sec or less) and if necessary an apology follows.

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Three Words Daily – Lord, strengthen me.

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Good morning guys & gals….can one of you fine gentleman help me get this booger outta my nose?

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I have a question for the cell phone etiquette police – what is the difference between me holding a conversation on my mobile and me holding a conversation with someone that is standing next to me. Isn’t it all conversation?

I happen to not be big on holding conversations in elevators. I will hold a conversation while waiting in line at a stor, depending on the type of store. However, I always get off the phone to check out for two reasons – 1) I consider it rude to the cashier for me to be on the phone. 2) I like to give my full attention to the financial transaction.

Oh….and in general, chivalry is not dead, but it is on life support.

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Prof – Yeah I remeber when I used to burn one.. This dude I had just met was trying to hog my stickest of the icky.. You could tell he wasnt used to it cause he was coughing and choking but still trying to toke.. I say “Hey man do you mind una$$ing my dank” he looked at me like I was crazy.. I tell you some peoples etiquette aint ish! Puff puff pass fool!

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DK – You made me LOL for real on the Dank story! Cause only a true smoker knows, your ass will get cursed out if you don’t have proper etiquette when trees are involved

Disclaimer —-> That was in my college days, I do feel like I’m too old for that shyt now….

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I agree learning never stops…..and being open to new ways of doing things….

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I have a question for the cell phone etiquette police – what is the difference between me holding a conversation on my mobile and me holding a conversation with someone that is standing next to me. Isn’t it all conversation?

@SexyCool – my point exactly

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Having a mobile convo in a public space is just impolite..worse when its loud! If the space is so constrained that u cant move to the the left/right to have ur convo in pvt without folks eavesdropping effortlessly,then check that convo and say,”ima call u back when i get to a,b,c..”

Its just wrong!

And now some of uall grown folks with those juvenile,”bootey bootey bootey” Plies,lIL Wayne or Guchie ringtones??

Please check that!! U broke but u spend money on ringtones!???

As in Ryna Cameroon slogan: BLAAAAACk PEOPLE!

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Expectations are dangerous. Also, the thing I’ve learned is that people will respond to you directly in step with how you present yourself. Now with women, the reality is that weave, heels and generally stank dress will deduct points from your lady value (despite what about 80% of you confused lasses think). Honestly, I go to the point where I will ignore and let a woman sit there looking crazy while I walk through the door if she presents herself poorly. I’m not going to enable and make her feel like a lady when she’s adding to the jump off population. Wish more guys would do this.

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learning never stops…..and being open to new ways of doing things….

Lady J, very much agree.

I think it was Miss Manners that said something that stuck with me. She said rules of etiquette are not tools to exclude others, but yet are there to make everyone comfortable.

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Y’all cell phone police are funny.

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what is the difference between me holding a conversation on my mobile and me holding a conversation with someone that is standing next to me.

SexyCool, people tend to talk louder when on the cellphone. And they don’t pay attention to what they are doing. Notice when driving how folks will dangerously cross the lines more while talking on the phone as opposed to just talking to someone in the car?

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dk you wrong while i love my BB I don’t do the ringtones or callbacks tones………it is my main source of communication so all kinds of people dial me and I am in different settings all the time so the basic ring suffice

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SexyCool, one difference is that the conversation in person, held in public at close quarters with other people, includes them, too. It doesn’t impose upon them to be polite so you can hear the person on the phone. They may, in fact, have something of value to contribute to your in-person conversation. You’re a part of their surroundings, and they’re a part of yours, rather than being something that imposes upon yours and their surroundings.

Guy, suggesting phone etiquette to people that are wrapped up in their cell phones is like trying to tell a Facebook addict that they’re wasting their time on a social ill, while giving up all semblance of privacy — as if there’s any personal privacy left, anyway. It’s a waste of your time in the telling, and serves only to annoy them.

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people tend to talk louder when on the cellphone. And they don’t pay attention to what they are doing

@Raqi – actually quite the opposite goes for me. i’m a whole lot quieter when i’m on the phone especially in public.

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here we go around the merry go round….grown folk are accountable for their actions while some seem less tactful to others we all do what we want be it right, wrong, or accepted….I say always be respectful and cognitive of what you are doing and do you happily without harm to yourself or others….

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I understand but some folk and seafood just don’t mix they feel it is going to swim away!!!! It is a hurry and rushed to crack a crab for some……lol

I see, and I had to learn the hard way. You would have thought that platter had legs the way he was acting. I think if I am dining with two or more people I am going to take Slim’s advice and dine at the bar.

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I got a droid phone so before now I could never get ringtones but now I am ringtone man.. I got sandford and son, the good the bad the ugly, pink panther, 007 and my personal fav.. The Darth Vader music..

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Its on life support. The fact that its so amazing, remarkable or SO APPRECIATED when an act of kindness is extended tells me that its a dying practice.
Restaurants, driving, shopping centers — folks are generally self-centered and mildly aggressive.

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Oh and the Knight Rider theme music.. Im telling you Mabilo ringtones set me up ya’ll. I find myself searching for different ringtones and I aint never did that. I addicted.. Who got something on my Dr. Drew bill?

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@ Melo….”Its Just like breathing!”<—–that right there, coudn't have described it any better. Let's me know it's not a second thought to placing the jewels in front of folks

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Chivalry in public to a stranger is dead. Exceptions; in church, funeral, etc. In the workplace, forget it.

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Professor: that tends to happen often…which is why i many sub shops, they’ll have a sign posted “NO CELL PHONES”

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@mqew..you have mail again.

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The ones that I hate more than I hate the loud phone talkers are the blue tooth users that walk onto the elevator or beside you and just start talking. There is no phone in hand so you don’t even know that they are talking to someone else. They just start talking and have you scatching your head wondering “huh?”.

LOL It has gotten to the point now that I tend to initially ignore strangers that do walk up and say something or ask a question because I automatically think they are on the blue tooth.

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Attention: Totally Off-Topic..@RandyT where are you? I have to talk to you about 24??? It’s important!!

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Being awful to servicepeople is something I notice too.
That’s because most of them have absolutely no idea how it feels to smile at and provide service to rude, insulting, demeaning, disrespectful people all day.

DreamsM, do you mind giving us a few the rules you feel are garbage?
The requirement to hold your fork in your left hand and knife in right hand. Choice of hand ought not matter, it’s arbitrary. Besides, this varies depending on whether you subscribe to the American style of fork etiquette of the European Continental style.

The requirement that drinking glasses be placed to to the upper right of the plate. Right or left shouldn’t matter, as long as you maintain consistency for every place setting.

The requirement to use silverware from the inside out has some practical value, but it shouldn’t really matter.

Crossing your utensils over your plate to let the server know that you are done is somewhat helpful, but most (diners and servers) don’t know about this anyway. This also varies, and it is also acceptable to place all used utensils on the right side of your plate, pointed up. Again, arbitrary.

Placing your bill such that the corner hangs off the edge of the table to let the server know that you are ready for them to pick up the bill doesn’t have much use either because most don’t acknowledge it.

Elbows on the table has some practical value if you aren’t astute enough to avoid tipping saucers or cups with your elbows.

No hats indoors is an obsolete custom.

There are many.

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@Lady J,

Have you heard from “nap date guy?”

@Kym this guy cellphone went off at my church and Pastor said, “That better be Jesus!!!” I leave my cellphone in the car when I go to church.

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It has gotten to the point now that I tend to initially ignore strangers that do walk up and say something or ask a question because I automatically think they are on the blue tooth.

Raqi – Me too. And I was already bad about that as is!

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@Prof..this was during one of those early Sunday morning services..The guy looked like he just got off work. So it was not a large crowd..the phone seem to just echo in the chapel. He answered it and then got up and walked out of the service..I guess he thought that made it okay.

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GM All!

no time for all the comments i’d like to make on past posts. to Raqi’s recent comment about the bluetooth. yeah, i embarassed myself by saying “hi” to someone who looked right at me and said “hello”. turns out he was answering his phone

good manners begin at home, but for those who are not fortunate to have had that training (like Profesor’s companions ), there comes a point when you just have to take the initiative to learn social graces on your own.

my cell is always on vibrate. i never allow it to ring for fear i’ll forget to turn it off at the right/wrong times. this is a constant point of contention with s/o because he seems to be the only person annoyed if i don’t answer or respond to a text in a timely manner; often because i simply didn’t know i missed a call.

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@Dreams

I’d ask you a variance of what I asked abc earlier:

Isn’t paying homage to (what you may consider arcane) rules of etiquette for the sake of those around you, in and of itself, a display of manners?

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I’m pretty much in agreement that chivalry and manners needs to be classified as an endangered species. The ones who believe that men should maintain their class despite women who are indifferent or clueless to chivalrous acts are correct but at times it’s aggravating but I usually keep moving. Those women treat it like it’s an entitlement or birthright to hold the door for them but can’t conjure up the effort to spout two syllables of appreciation.

Technology can also be contributor to the degeneration of chivalry. Several women have taken note of me opening and holding the passenger door for them. They all stated that most men they know just “chirp-chirp” the remote and get in the car without opening the door for them. Most said they’ll stand at the door and wait until the guy gets a clue but some have given up hope and just get in the car.

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Now i saw a hubby and wife this morning in the train,giving each other some luvischa smoochie as the hubby dropped off to go to work,sme place while the wife remained seated in her seat,procceding in her own direction.

I was reading my magzne,my head down and they were seated right in front of me…and then all of a sudden i hear..mmweeee,mweeeeeeee,mweeeeeeeee…mwe tap!

Now thats some luving!

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fried, hush puppies, cole slaw homemade! LOL yummy!

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what was your motivation for wnting to get married?

@Slim??

to keep CT inhouse! and propagate zulu nation

cant marry and have no kids…

after 6 months or so of marriage,its customar for female folks to ask others who may have come across the wife: “what she got??” meaning..does her tummy got a bump?

If u firing blanks or the elders think u are..they wil organize,undercover, a younger cousin/bro to go to ur house,in ur absence and hit!

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Melo, it’s just hilarious that you bothered to correct spelling.

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Isn’t paying homage to (what you may consider arcane) rules of etiquette for the sake of those around you, in and of itself, a display of manners?
I wouldn’t say the rules of etiquette are arcane/unfathomable, but rather some of the rules are arbitrary or outdated. Why would I pay homage to an impracticality, and how do those around me benefit from me doing so?

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off topic: just looked down (i’m sporting cleavage today) and realized i know have so many moles that i’ve decided i’m going to start calling them freckles.

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Czbrat..u got a picture phone??

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i know have so many moles that i’ve decided i’m going to start calling them freckles.

That’s an idea….

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cz no a serious note pay attention to your moles and make sure that they don’t change(color,shape/borders,growth)…could be something else like melanoma or something else.

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@Dreams

There’s impracticality/inefficiencies in just about every social practice, why arbitrarily pick and choose the rules to follow?

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should’ve been “on” a serious note…but I digress.

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All NY’ers are not as heartless as those people in Queens! I have help quite a few in need. It bugs me that we get the bum wrap for being cold. But I can see why. Men these days have no respect. I can’t begin to count how many times I have seen a mother with a baby stroller trying to get up and down the steps and these grown a$$ men and teen boys will keep it moving…not even stopping to help. I have done it in 4 inch stillettos so why can’t theses dudes. I have also seen men practically break their necks to beat a woman, preganant woman, elderly of handicapped person to a seat on the train. Or if they see one of these people board the train the sit there looking stupidly at them instead of offering the seat. I would then proceed to tap their arm to get their attentions and offer my seat. I guess I was raised to have manners and I was taught ettiquitte which so very many obviously lack! Parents need to teach their children better.

I do not expect a man to hold the door for me…but when they do I say thank you. If I am first in I will hold the door for a guy behind me as well. I have noticed some will rush to beat me to the door in order to open it for me. Again I smile and say thank you very much because he did not HAVE to do that. Also my mother taught me….that when goingon a date never order more than what you can aford to pay for yourself. You never know if that man is going to pay. Do I expect him to pay..no! But does it put me in another mindframe about him if he doesn’t…yes! And if that man is my man or someone I am dating and he has paid a few times….there is nothing with me getting the bill from time to time. That shows that I am not out to just take…but I can also give. It also shows that I am not needy. I take pride in that!

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melo: they seriously let a fellow sibling come over and inplant seed into said wife? Interesting…

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Good post BlackMagic….I’ve been in both situations you described as well and cosign one hunned percent.

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No that’s not TMI but that is a good point…a bleeding mole is likely to become aggravated after repeated trauma/friction and could develope into something else….whomever advised you to have it removed was very thoughtful in saying so.

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meant when you enter a building…..

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ladies when yall wear shades and enter a building do you remove them???

LadyJ, that depends on how dark the lens are that I am wearing. I have several different pair and some have only a hint of gradual shade while some are completely shaded out. So it depends. Some are for fashion and while the others just to keep the sun out of my eyes.

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Lady J – I usually don’t remove them once I enter unless I’m about to talk to someone. It’s just depends on if I’m in the mood to speak to everyone and their mother. It’s MY own personal almost ‘northern’ thing. I don’t want to speak to everybody all the time and some try to make you…

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czBrat you sound like my former mother-in-law…..lol……

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my shades go up on my head as soon as i approach the door. indoors, they’re just not necessary. unless, of course, your pupils are dilated.

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i love pulling shade back on my head….lol its a girly feeling….cute to say the least

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dreamsM so wearing hats in a building is outdated???
Lady J The tradition of removing hats when entering a building waw a matter of class. People removed their hats or crowns as a way of letting the highest ranking person (king, count, duke, etc) in the room know that they were not challenging their authority. It’s mostly outdated. Now, a teacher is an authority figure, and a student needs to respect the rules dictated by the authority. If the rule (however outdated) is that hats are unacceptable, then the student needs to obey the rule. I don’t generally wear hats, but if I did, I can choose to wear it wherever I like.

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“Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. “

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The only time I leave shades on while inside a building, is if I have a migraine…which at that point…I frankly don’t give a dayum

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Speaking of wearing hats indoors…are folks who wear hats in church considered rude or disrespectful??? What about if you go to a special play/function that requires dressy attire…does a dressy hat get a pass of rudeness?

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of course not slim……

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What about if you go to a special play/function that requires dressy attire…

@Slimone??

maybe WD needs to invite that duddette,Mr Eubanks to give u some pointers on dress and etiquette?

I dont wear shades but pple who do either dont like the sun in their eyes,are slim shady or both.

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What a weekend

Chivalry is not dead and if it is in you it is there. Does not matter who the recipient is. It does not matter if it is a woman/man or an elder. Respect for others is just that, respect for others. You owe others your best, your honesty whether you know them or not. If I see an elder man or woman, they have my respect. Whether they are giving me words of wisdom or just talking(usually some wisdom in their words when they are not even trying), if I see them walking through a door or carrying anything I offer assistance. With women, they are women and I am a man. I open doors, offer help etc. It is just a learned behavior, my load should not be light while a woman in my presence load is heavy. When I come across unappreciative women it does not deter me. My motives where not to impress her in the first place. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, not true. I came back with a wife

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Lady J: with the cost of plays/events or what have you…i get irritated when I get stuck behind someone wearing a 15ft wide sombrero. I didn’t pay $80+ bucks to strain my neck trying to see the stage in between your fake duck feathers.

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BRAT…growing up in NY yes I was was taught to always watch my back. But at the same time I was taught to care about others. Now of course when I have stopped to help..I am watching my surroundings because it could be a set up to get your robbed, raped or killed. But I could not just walk around a person laying in the sidewalk. I could at least stop and pull out my phone to call 911 to get them help and stay near by to make sure that they get it. This poor man dies trying to stop a woman from getting killed and this trick left with the man who tried to kill her and did not call for help for this man. For her I have no sympathy. She deserves what she gets. I would not get in the middle of a brawl. But again…I will call the cops in a heartbeat! That is their job not mine. They have weapons….I don’t…well kind of! There is littel hope left for humanity!

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Rock, I dated a dude that rebelled against a “societal expectation” just for the sake of rebelling against it. It was a deal breaker for me.

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I came back with a wife

On a horse!

@Carlito

Congrats

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SexyCool, thank you very much

If you all want to see some “hats” check out the Kentucky Derby!

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Congrats!! Carlito!!!..Okay I have to ask..Did Elvis marry you?

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Lady J, thank you and thanks for thinking of me

Melo, my man Leggs, called you my internet invisible best man. LOL

SlimOne, thank you for handling my sh*t while I was gone. I had no plans to go to Vegas right away, it just kind of happened that way. I did not get to take in Vegas to much this time

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Congratulations Carlito! I wish you many many many years of joy and happiness!!! What is your actual anniversary date?

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it was the laws sir!!!!! Thanks agian!!!!! lol

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SexyCool, yeah that would be a deal breaker. I just cannot deal with people that have to be difficult just for the sake of being difficult. No rhyme or reason for it.

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DreamsMat, I have noticed reading you that you seem to have somewhat of a rebellious nature. From different comments you make it seems like whatever rules or grounds has been set that is what you challenge or make sure to do differently.

Raqi – I agree with this assessment as well. Some offline comments made me think this too.

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Dan, thanks bro

Kym, no Elvis did not marry us. LOL

BlackMagicWoman, I flew my brother out and two of her sisters came. Here is how my weekend came about: I flew home and her father picked me up. My plan was to sneak into town and do my covert ring mission. Well in small towns word traveled fast that I was there. She shows up and my nervous self just blurts out “will you marry me” she said “yes”. We got both families together for dinner and told them out plans and I joked with her about going to Vegas to do it, she was fine with it and so were our families. The beautiful part of it all was that even though I paid for my trip home and our trip to Vegas, yesterday her Dad called me and asked for my bank info and made a very nice deposit into my bank account as a gift…she did that because he said he did not have to pay for a wedding , money is in no way an issue for she and I at all but that was nice on his part and it helped with the dent the ring she picked out put on my savings. She is moving down here mid to late may. She is happy, our families our happy and I am very happy.

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lmbao raqi when you bring harm to self or others its an issue…..lol

also raqi how was your cruise???? my cruise got cancelled…..so I am doing the city “A” for my 31st……still doing the essence festival but I do want to escape one weekend during the hot months to destin, fla with a great date! LOL

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mqew, thank you. April 26 is the official day

Raqi, yes I did

AmazonRed, we only live one life:) I had to go for what I know. LOL

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AmazonRed, we only live one life:) I had to go for what I know. LOL

Carlito – So when is your wife due?

KIDDING!!!!

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Carlito – That was very nice of your Father in law. He didn’t have to do that, but considering how much weddings can cost nowadays, he’d probably easily would have tripled the amount and was simply estatic not to go through the hassle (or what I call headache, turmoil, pandemonium, agitation, ruckus, strife, bedlam…. you get the point) of planning a wedding!!!!

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I once went out on a date with a guy that opened the car door only because I insisted. After opening the door twice, he asked “How long am I going to have to do this?”

My response, “You’ll never have to do it again. I promise.”

It was our first and last date.

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Enter your comments here

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I like the idea of a Vegas wedding. Quick, fast, no fanfare, pick your package..pay..bada boom bada bing..you done!!!

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Carlito Congrats man. That’s a wonderful thing.

Raqi – I agree with this assessment as well. Some offline comments made me think this too.
Offline comments by whom?

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Kym any where away will keep most away and that is the cool part! LOL My next go round i want an ocean to seperate the masses! LOL

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I like the idea of a Vegas wedding. Quick, fast, no fanfare, pick your package..pay..bada boom bada bing..you done!!!

This is how my parents did it. Still married too.

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What the Waka Flaka? Melo, what is wrong with you?

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Congrats Carlito!!!!

On topic: Chivalry and politeness go hand in hand. In relationships, I expect it, but I also know how to reciprocate it.

Somewhat on Topic: On Sunday while at QT, I noticed how many people actually ignore the clerks when they speak and say hello. I counted at least 5 people that just totally ignored the clerk speaking to them. I always speak, and at Moe’s too….lol

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JTJ, Thank you

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So Carlito…are you going to continue to blog with us or are you now looking for a Misadventures in Marriage Blog??

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Offline comments by whom?

LOL DreamsMat, I guess you don’t know who you be exchanging convo with offline.

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@Luvbug??

It maybe Wacka flacka to u,but im giving ur another cultural tip.

Its true!

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jtj on point the qt folks get ignored I try to speak back……..

awwww carlito “my wife”!!!! Enjoy the Derby!

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SlimOne, I have never had any real purpose to blog here, so yes I am staying. LOL

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Dan, my point was to show that you do follow rules.

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Well, d@mn…. CONGRATS, Carlito! You don’t play, do you, brother?

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Luvbug, thank you.

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@Swisscheese …hey I found your pic on the Facebook site. You are right it wasn’t hard to guess at all..LMAO!!! I pictured you bald tho..

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we need each other…..

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we need each other…..

We certainly do.

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“…I pictured you bald tho..”

Bald? WTF, Kym? I read bald? C’mon, now… To paraphrase form Katt Williams: “don’t act like my hair ain’t luxurious, ‘cos you KNOW it is…”

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I agree 110%

Timeless, I am the only one that agrees “110%” around these parts. LOL But yeah I agree with Infamous’ comment also.

Just so you know For Real is going to challenge you on that 110.

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AmazonRed, he went above and beyond, but as a tradition Italian weddings are very profitable so are birthdays. Everyone likes to give big money

Kym, thank again

Professor, thank you as well and thanks for convincing me to send the flowers a day early

I’m Swiss, thank you bro, once I am convinced I am ready to be all in. I was surprised she was willing to go to Vegas.

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swiss –

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Timeless??

hold conversations in languages that others in your company cannot understand

For ur info,Raqi does that here on the blog when she finds another french/lingo?? partner to blog 2 way with.Unless u dont consider us company??

I be curious,is she saying”my man is going outta town so u can slide in or what?? but u know what can u do when u cannot understand the lingo!

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Professor??

I wasnt even trying to be funny tho.

That happens for real…in the cntry!

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Timeless, we had a blog topic on here once where we are living in the days where people want relationships A la carte when it comes to the things wanted and not in the relationship. Folks want the benefit of the traditional mate only where it benefits them. And other times they want their mate to act in a modern sense. As Poppa always say we are some selfish beings, especially in today’s world.

“Whatever is convenient for me is what I want until having it the other way around benefits me two days from now.”

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“…once I am convinced I am ready to be all in…”

Cheers, man! Here’s to being all up in it…

Maybe I gotta gets me a white man…

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Melo great 2:11

That was too funny to me.

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kimmie, we did it right in our hotel. The Wedding Chapel at the Venetian(Palazzo). We wanted to have somewhat decent pictures as decent as a wedding in jeans could be She choose a Marquise cut diamond with Topaz around it. My band has small diamonds and topaz in it as well.

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Melo, maybe I don’t.

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swiss…if you say “luxurious” one more time, I’ma lose it!

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Raqi: “Whatever is convenient for me is what I want until having it the other way around benefits me two days from now.”

I couldn’t have said it better.

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“Maybe I gotta gets me a white man…”

ARed — You know what they say… “Once you go white, your credit is TIGHT…”

@ Melo — No time to respond, I gotta head upstairs to rub in a little extra Rogaine, just in case…

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blue is my fav color!!!!! rhoyal blue or light ice blue!!!! all shades….when I become a homeowner I will have a blueroom!!!!!!! Enjoy your task Raqi!

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ARed — Luxurious. Now what?

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Carlito…tell Julia to pick a blog moniker and join in the insanity of her new home to be! “She be kin now”! We have to take her out on the town….maybe a belly dance class and pole dance class and to Inserections for some shopping!

Hey…do you look at your ring finger and say, “Iz married now”?

BTW…the Venetian is my favorite hotel in Vegas. Good one. Are you guys going to take a honeymoon?

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swiss – I’m posting from the beyond. I’ve died from laughter.

From up here, I can tell you have no bald spots!

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@ Slim — That, too… It all depends on whether you’re angling for a gold digger or just a plain ho.

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kimmie, thanks. Now I just need her to get here to help get some of the house done her way before everyone comes down for the “official” stuff. Both families come down, we all go to Church then afterwords we come back to the house. She carries a bag called a “borsa” and everyone puts money it. It’s an all day and night event, the most important part being the meal, both of our mothers will cook a meal with about 12 different dishes for about 30 people. After that we conclude with eating our wedding soup while all of the guest eat almonds and then we party until morning

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carlito that sounds FUN!!!!! Have a blast!!!!

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Lady J – I’ve always wanted to get married in ice blue instead of white!

Carlito – That sounds like a BLAST!! I love all the culture and tradition and customs!

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@Swiss..you know you are wrong for that…LMAO!!!

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BlackMagicWoman, she is in sales so she rarely has time to sit in front of a computer, I will steer her this way This ring is awkward, I am not used to it. My boss is going to chirp on me tons tomorrow, when he finds out.

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Good Afternoon!

Chivalry…Everyone will receive it when I am around I expect nothing in return, I was raise to give respect and be courteous to all and I have been doing it since I was a child!

Congrats to Carlito and Julie may your marriage be blessed with happiness and joy!

In regards to proper table manners although I verse on proper table manners I do not believe in corporate rules guiding us along because they state it is the right way!

SlimOne I am on horse! The johnson should only be adjusted when no one is looking!

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Elijah, thank you bro, Her name is Julia

Melo, you and your family are welcome to come. Leave the cow ball..LOL

“Julia, this is the guy who saw you in the swimsuit and this is his wife”

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@Raqi

Your 2:14 post is on point. The term ‘a la carte’ dating came to mind for me when a friend related his story of an attempt to date this single mom. She was playing hard to get – until she needed favors done. She wanted my friend to be a father figure type, i.e., tutor him, coach and play sports with him, engage him in father-son activities, etc. But yet she didn’t want him to discipline her son and I mean in the mildest sense. It didn’t last very long, needless to say.

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I meant “bride”, sorry

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“Once you go white, your credit is TIGHT…”

How about if I go German? Come on…ya’ll know how I do..I’m International…MAN!

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You were led to agree with Raqi’s assessment based on your own offline comments?

No dear. Comments you’ve made other than this here blog.

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Boring topic.

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Cool Shadow, yep that’s it right there. It’s Weird Science. Imma open up a “Build A Mate Factory” beside my “Dumb Chick Rubber Bricks” warehouse.

You can build a mate and add whatever you want.

4 Scoops of Modern
1 Pound of Formal
A Slither of Antique
7 Shakes of Traditional
A Pinch of Contemporary
And a little bit o’ country

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AmazonRed, I got in trouble for sending him that. LOL

Good!!!

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@Luvbug

the premise of that tradition is not hard to grasp…when u’re coupled up,ur gold belongs to daddy!

so does my dycck!

reminds me of this running joke we used to do while in college..dude is hitting missionary and asks girl,” luvbug,where is my wang?”

luvbug says,”daddy,its indoors,im taking care of it!”

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RAQI…I love red the way you love blue. My rooms are done in themes. My guest room & dinning room are Asian (Red/Black/Cream), the light bathroom is blue & chocolate. My room is bollywood (purple, gold and sage..complete with staues of Ganesha & Kali and the master bath is Black, pink & leopard. My living is Red, Black and gold, Victorian theme complete with antique Victorian couch. The kitchen is just red and white.

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Good afternoon everyone. I just got back from a meeting at the airport and it’s been a doosey.

If you’re still talking about chivalry (which I doubt), I love it, I believe it still exists and I see it daily. It hasn’t died.

I have sent out an evite to Tazzee’s soiree, please look out for it and if you haven’t received it, please let me know. I’m receiving quite a few bouncebacks!

CONGRATULATIONS CARLITO….CARLITO ARE YOU THERE, CARLITO…Oh no, another one bites the dust!

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“Once you go German, yo azz will be squirmin’”

OMG…SWISS…you are a lost casue man! It is far too late for help for you!

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BlackMagic, most of the walls in my house is white or a shade of off white. My bedroom however is a sorta tan color. I don’t do a lot of bold colors like the reds, burgundy and purple. I like elegant yet simple.

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kimmie, I bet it looks wonderful.

Leggs, Thank you and I don’t know if you sent the eVite to me on purpose but I RSVP’d for my wife and I.

BlackMagicWoman, Bollywood? LOL

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LadyJ, I love the movie Weird Science because they built the perfect woman, they thought, then realize they couldn’t handle her or the lifestyle. LOL

I have the perfect man. Those little differences that we have are just what makes it enjoyable and interesting to be together. I love the crust of him. He is my chocolate delight.

With a little cream filling. LOL

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get it ms raqi!!!!!!!!! lol

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BMW – Your house sounds like Willy Wonkas Chocolate factory. All you need is oompa lumpas..

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Oh that’s cool. Everything said will be interpreted some way by someone. I wish only happiness for the interpreters. Always love and never malice.

Dreams – Seriously what are you talking about? Raqi made an assessment and I agreed with it. No more, no less.

There is no hidden meaning or reading between the lines type of comment. It was simply an agreement with what another poster came up with.

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Let me go back and skim through pages 2,3,4

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BMW – Your house sounds like Willy Wonkas Chocolate factory. All you need is oompa lumpas..

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Today it ain’t been me….not that anyone cares about “lurker” LOL

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lurker, please do get a moniker Some day I thought you were just rude until I found out that is what people do. LOL

BlackMagicWoman, I bet you are a hoot. LOL I just got my home the way I like it now all of it is about to change. I told her do not mess with my basement and we are great. I just have to find a way to let my dogs kill her cats and we are good to go.

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kimmie in 06 why I had a Home Depot Card lol geesh…….I am being patient….I can’t do your # yet but when it truly hits me with prayer and a sound plan i am out like Forest Gump! LOL!!!!!!

I want a nice size deck andn open kitchen I love entertaining I want a very open floor plan with a master on the main….hell it can be a ranch on a basement…..I want a house! LOL *tear*

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Yep, AmazonRed I do. As unoriginal as it is, I figure most days folks can identify with the writing style…after so long that is but I guess not.

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@leggs that’s it..

LadyJ it will come..just have to wait for your house..ask my friends and family and real estate agent..I am such the control freak that thru the process—which I was not in control of– I wanted to scream..but I have to say I have the world best real estate agent..she kept me sane..ok what passes for sane.

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Lady J, per Swiss, you better get a white man. LOL

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carlito lmbao!!!!!!!!!

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BlackMagicWoman what happens when you go back BMW?

When you enter BlackMagicWoman Aladins’s arabian theme song comes on!

Lady lurker know make sure you choose something that matches your sweet personality!

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Yep, AmazonRed I do. As unoriginal as it is, I figure most days folks can identify with the writing style…after so long that is but I guess not.

I absolutely can not. The “lurker” name alone is synonymous with “random poster” or “troll” that I don’t even try to distinguish whether it’s a regular poster or not.

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I figure most days folks can identify with the writing style

lurker, yeah I can tell when it’s you. When folks comment under “lurker” it’s quite easy to tell if it’s one of the regulars. It’s like changing your face but not your voice. Jennifer Grey.

I can sometimes sense when a “lurker” is purposely trying to sound (i.e. type style) like another regular as to make people think that is that other person.

But I’m a skeptic so don’t mind me. LOL

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Lady J – I have a little patio off the kitchen, but no real deck. My SO has a nice deck though.

Same here. I was looking forward to this warm weather and sitting on his deck with a glass of wine. He leaves his dog out there when he’s at work tho, so it’s full of poop.

There goes my fantasy!

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What happened yesterday?

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kimmie, houses come with their share of problems in upkeep but ain’t nothing like having your own place. You own yard. You can paint your walls whatever color you want. You can change the carpet, put down hardwood, put up wallpaper, change the sink and faucets, don’t have to fight over parking spaces….

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Lady J, just make it a part of your plan & it will happen! I was not even thinking about a house because I thought I couldn’t afford one. One of my best friends encouraged me to go for it. My older godsister put me in touch with a great real estate agent that had been in the business for 30 years. I told her what I wanted, where & how much I was willing to pay per month, nothing over even if I qualified. She had great financing connections and I got a great loan, no foolishness! One of the best experiences in my adult life was purchasing my home.

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Anyone want two cats before I have them killed?

Give the cats a chance!

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kimmie my view was I would buy it with my husband I truly believed that to here recently when I came to grips with I will buy my 1st home single……..the bit of traditional in me…i promise til here recently I wouldn’t think twice about buying a home……lol

now husband what daggit J wants a house lol

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@Kimmie/Lady J, same here I love my ranch as well. It is just perfect for me.

@Melo/lurker/Ared-that lurker post from yesterday had the author name written all over it…that is why I did not respond. Some mess is not even worth it…lol.

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AmazonRed, if I give them a chance my dogs may not. I am just joking. My dogs stay outside, if one of those spawns of satan cats go out back and something happens or if I leave the back door open and they make it out there, it is not on my conscious. LOL

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that lurker post from yesterday had the author name written all over it…that is why I did not respond. Some mess is not even worth it…lol.

Professor – Ah…I see now. That chick is crazy!

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People seem to talk to you differently after you’ve purchased a home. Maybe it’s the knuckleheads I use to know, but I noticed it immediately.

Also, don’t immediately let the “man” know (your job) that you bought a home when you do buy a home. Same with a new car. Don’t know why this is, but shyt happens!

Thanks to all of you you have responded and all who have viewed. I hope you viewers make up you mind soon!!

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Don’t shoot me…that was me. I thought that was me you came after…a virtual cup of joe to make amends?

See! This is why I need folks to all have unique monikers! Okay, so it was you. Professor thought it was someone else then.

Change it lurker! *shakes fist at you* Stop making it easy for us slow folks to get confused! lol

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Sowee…

Elijah? Any suggestions?

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Melo – Pressure cooker, I don’t think so. There are busy days here but not that kind of pressure.

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Yeah Lurker.. I got one.. Lurk_oN_Deez

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There are busy days here but not that kind of pressure.

@lurker??

ur rant at Professor had me laughing coz u went str8 left..i just figured either u were stressed out,surely did not read right or maybe PMS had just hit that afternoon.

I was glad,Prof didnt come back at u with a hook to ur left cheek!

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yep kimmie I will save for the next 24 months and see where God direct me …..thanks

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Lady J,

You will make it happen. Like Kimmie I wanted money leftover each month and I wanted to be able to pay my bills with ease. Now, I had to change agents twice because I qualified for a lot of house, but I bought less. The first two agents continued to show me houses that were more than I wanted to spend. I had my own budget and they were thinking commission I guess.

Sit down with a plan, and I hope that 8K tax credit gets an extension just for you.

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DK – I don’t any of deez, pass

Melo – Man some days you are funny…PMS, give it a week or so

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I was glad,Prof didnt come back at u with a hook to ur left cheek!

Melo, I get tired of knocking these tricks out! Sometimes I enjoy taking the high road especially if they can’t read and comprehend

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alrighty gang….1st free mommy day with no class!!! I haven’t been to a happy hour in a min….going to get lost in the city!

thanks gang for everything! Peace!

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ared I am aware of NACCA I think hope this is right but I am aware and have an agent just really not 100% to bite yet but in my near furture I willl…..thanks!

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dk too funny……..

professor I am developing it!!!!! thanks yall!

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lurker, whatever business you are in just let that be your moniker. Realtor, Marketer, Manager, or something like that. Or maybe your favorite television character.

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My last three girlfriends who got married had their husbands move in with them. Either they didn’t own yet, or had bachelor pad condos that were too small for them both.

I’m sure many guys would insist that they buy together, but in this market, I’d rather he check his ego for a few years so we can stack our chips collectively.

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DK – Noooot quite, spin something else

Raqi – That’s a pretty good idea…hmmm

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@Proff??

tell me how a police office is gon suspect im illegal….
i thoght the repubs had a chance to takee a lot of seats come november and now they shoot themslevs in the foot.

Lynching aint fair coz its its aimed at brown pple!

Apparently there is a Georgian senator introducing a bill to say they want to see Obama’s birth certificate.

I may have to move to Massachusets coz uall maybe back on the cotton fields soon dwn here!

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Amazon, my husband moved into the house I owned but it was because that is what was convenient at the time. We both are now co-owners of this house and his house. We are saving to build a house on the lake for us to live in after we retire which is supposed to be in 13 years but it may be more like 15. We thought about buying a new house but there were none in this area that we liked that were available. Now there a more than a few. We want to stay in this area at least for another 3 years. After that we may consider moving into the other house because it is closer to his work which will be more convenient then.

You know I ain’t got no job so whether here or there is fine with me now. I like both areas about the same. LOL

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Lady lurker let me think about it! By the way whatever name you come up with will work because you are classy.We will strike yesterday’s rant from the blog!

AmazonRed I see words of wisdom coming from you! Now you can come over and drink wine on my deck but it needs some touch-up paint first!

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Lady lurker let me think about it! By the way whatever name you come up with will work because you are classy.We will strike yesterday’s rant from the blog!

Elijah – Awwww, you’re SUCH a sweetie. We’re entitled to limited slip ups, while being classy. I so appreciate that. A blog “muah” for you.

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Melo,

I can tell you this with all the racial profiling and Rodney King incidents AZ is asking for trouble with that new law. I can see a lot of civil rights lawsuits being filed because the police violated basic rights.

As for the sitting President I agree, but I will say this. I have seen several programs that will not even address President Obama properly.

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Have a great evening I am stepping out!

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Raqi – You’re not working now? Are you a stay at home mommy now. Let me send over the Premier Stepford Wives Package you’ll love…. or learn to

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@Elijah?? did u give Leggs ur email add! and got the invite?

I am looking frward to meeting u in person!

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@Melo, if you’re looking forward to meeting folk, then respond and stop viewing!!!

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No, just indicates that you “viewed” the evite today.

I got a response from somebody I had no idea who they were and asked for their blog name….I almost choked when she replied she’s the “guest of honor.” Best laugh today!

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Dayum 1 day of marriage and Carlito is a pu$$y killer

Lurker may I suggest Corolla as your new moniker.

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@Leggs??

I saw u also have male_lurker on there..u gotta be careful with some of these pple!

Isn’t male lurker the YEEEaAA troll??

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Elijah: I’mma need you to come back at DK a little more foreful. Your “We’re not following for the bananna in the tail-pipe trick” ain’t working.

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Raqi – I love how you and the husband had developed that long term plan together. I think I remember seeing blueprints or something about the lake house a while back.

I have a couple girlfriends in my subdivision who say their houses aren’t large enough for two. We’re talking 2000 square feet. Yes, it may not be a mansion but it is large enough for you and another person to live comfortably for a while.

Some folks can be real short sighted, especially when the ego gets in the way. I’d rather have a lake house in 15. Or be able to have no job like you and be okay.

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“We’re not following for the bananna in the tail-pipe trick” ain’t working.
HAHA this is too funny. That old Eddie is priceless.

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I’m throwing the bag of quotes in the air. Whoever catches first (no elbowing), please post an end of the day quote.

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Melo

Apparently there is a Georgian senator introducing a bill to say they want to see Obama’s birth certificate.

I think that is such a waste of time and money! Especially when I heard that Newton County plans on cutting out middle school sports. This follows school systems that plan on cutting music.

Those jokers at the capitol need to work on the budget!

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So somebody is throwing a blog shindig and didn’t invite me? Mmmm huh

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“Apparently there is a Georgian senator introducing a bill to say they want to see Obama’s birth certificate.”

They should make his stupid a$$ pay for said bill! We have had 43 presidents….and now because you don’t like the color of his skin you want to see if he is American born. GTFOH

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CARLITO….you know Julia loves her kitties! She is not giving them up.

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“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much”. Oscar Wilde

Here is my real end of the day quote:

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn’t.” – cant remember where I heard it

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Leggs: Here is a quote for you “If you ain’t dead, den you got problems – Paw-Paw”

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LOL, thank you For Real!

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“You think you’re gonna live forever, but you won’t. Someone’ll kill ya. Someone’ll kill ya with a knife.” – Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

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@Slimone??

how u gon be invited when u keep ur CT secret?

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An Italian, an African and a Whiteboy ~ there’s a fabulous joke in there but too damn tired to work with it.

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