Will chivalrous expectations last?
I was very happy to make it out to the wonderful Atlanta Film Festival. If you’ve never been, I would definitely recommend it, even if you are not a huge fan of films. There was literally something for everyone, including films/shorts on music, art, comedy, history and many other genres of film were represented. The attendees were as diverse as the films that were featured.
One of the featured shorts that stood out to me in the African American Shorts showcase was Train.
Train (2009) Darius Clark Monroe, Executive Producer
It was a short, yet powerful film about what men go through when they have to decide how to handle difficult situations in regards to chivalry. I am being intentionally vague as not to give away the entire premise, but it made me think hard about what single women expect from men.
If a man is not interested in a woman romantically, we still would expect some sort of chivalry from them. With all the confusing gender roles that can create dating and relationship issues, how will things shift? Will women continue to expect chivalry? If there is a need to step in and take on a protector role, what would you think of a man who does not consider it his duty to act?
When we are all learning the “new gender roles” how do you think we will progress in what we expect from one another? I know none of us have crystal balls, but what is your educated guess considering what you have seen and heard?
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537 comments Add your comment
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:23 pm
ARed — Luxurious. Now what?
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:23 pm
You know what they say… “Once you go white, your credit is TIGHT…”
I’m so done!
BlackMagicWoman
April 27th, 2010
2:25 pm
Carlito…tell Julia to pick a blog moniker and join in the insanity of her new home to be! “She be kin now”!
We have to take her out on the town….maybe a belly dance class and pole dance class and to Inserections for some shopping! 
Hey…do you look at your ring finger and say, “Iz married now”?
BTW…the Venetian is my favorite hotel in Vegas. Good one. Are you guys going to take a honeymoon?
SlimOne - What's my motivation?
April 27th, 2010
2:25 pm
i’m swiss – i thought it was, once you got white you know you’ve been licked right.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:26 pm
swiss – I’m posting from the beyond. I’ve died from laughter.
From up here, I can tell you have no bald spots!
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:27 pm
Lady J, blue is my favorite too!!! I have 3 blue rooms in my house – different shades. The kitchen is a blue/grey with white & silver accents. My master bedroom is a light turquoise with a hint of green undertone to it. It has a beachy/sea theme. My home office is a medium, sort of light navy blue, with silver accents & navy blue curtains.
I want a light blue VW Bug so bad!!!LOL!!!
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:28 pm
@ Slim — That, too… It all depends on whether you’re angling for a gold digger or just a plain ho.
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:29 pm
kimmie my wedding was ice blue and silver!!!!
your home sounds serene!!!!!!!!
my goal is a navy blue XM with tan seats brand new!!!!! meant dream! LOL
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:29 pm
kimmie, thanks. Now I just need her to get here to help get some of the house done her way before everyone comes down for the “official” stuff. Both families come down, we all go to Church then afterwords we come back to the house. She carries a bag called a “borsa” and everyone puts money it. It’s an all day and night event, the most important part being the meal, both of our mothers will cook a meal with about 12 different dishes for about 30 people. After that we conclude with eating our wedding soup while all of the guest eat almonds and then we party until morning
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:31 pm
kimmie why I want my next diamond to have a hint of blue to it…..lol
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:32 pm
carlito that sounds FUN!!!!! Have a blast!!!!
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:32 pm
LadyJ, it is one of many that I am trying to get done this summer.
You have regular navy blue, then sapphire lace, southern blue, running water, deep azure and gem, which looks exactly like deep azure. LOL Then you have award blue and american anthem. Just too many.
I am trying to choose something that compliments the blue cushion upholstery on the chairs.
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:32 pm
Lady J – I’ve always wanted to get married in ice blue instead of white!
Carlito – That sounds like a BLAST!! I love all the culture and tradition and customs!
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:32 pm
After that we conclude with eating our wedding soup while all of the guest eat almonds and then we party until morning
@Carlito??
i aint eating all that homie! unless u doint invite me toi the big nite feast. My wife is gon bring our own fam dish and im going to Mrs Palmer’s abbatoir in Athens to order some choice cow balls for ur wedding.
Kym
April 27th, 2010
2:33 pm
@Swiss..you know you are wrong for that…LMAO!!!
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:34 pm
Raqi, with my love of blue, I know you have too many choices! Just go to Home Depot and/or Lowes & get some of those paint swatch cards & bring them home!
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:34 pm
BlackMagicWoman, she is in sales so she rarely has time to sit in front of a computer, I will steer her this way
This ring is awkward, I am not used to it. My boss is going to chirp on me tons tomorrow, when he finds out.
Luvbug
April 27th, 2010
2:37 pm
Okay then Melo. I won’t disrespect your native traditions…that is…if that’s true. I’m still not sure.
Elijah ( Today is a good day!)
April 27th, 2010
2:38 pm
Good Afternoon!
Chivalry…Everyone will receive it when I am around I expect nothing in return, I was raise to give respect and be courteous to all and I have been doing it since I was a child!
Congrats to Carlito and Julie may your marriage be blessed with happiness and joy!
In regards to proper table manners although I verse on proper table manners I do not believe in corporate rules guiding us along because they state it is the right way!
SlimOne I am on horse!
The johnson should only be adjusted when no one is looking!
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:39 pm
do kimmie!!!!! lol it is a nice shade!!!!! love it
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:42 pm
Elijah, thank you bro, Her name is Julia
Melo, you and your family are welcome to come. Leave the cow ball..LOL
“Julia, this is the guy who saw you in the swimsuit and this is his wife”
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:42 pm
Just go to Home Depot and/or Lowes & get some of those paint swatch cards & bring them home!
kimmie, that’s the problem I brought too many color choices home. I have to make a decision today because those wall are getting painted tomorrow. Even if I just repaint them white. But I want to add some color so I have to make a choice.
CoolShadow
April 27th, 2010
2:43 pm
@Raqi
Your 2:14 post is on point. The term ‘a la carte’ dating came to mind for me when a friend related his story of an attempt to date this single mom. She was playing hard to get – until she needed favors done. She wanted my friend to be a father figure type, i.e., tutor him, coach and play sports with him, engage him in father-son activities, etc. But yet she didn’t want him to discipline her son and I mean in the mildest sense. It didn’t last very long, needless to say.
CoolShadow
April 27th, 2010
2:45 pm
Also, congrats to you Carlito and your brided for your matrimonial moves. Best of luck to you!
CoolShadow
April 27th, 2010
2:45 pm
I meant “bride”, sorry
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2010
2:46 pm
Some offline comments made me think this too.
offline comments made by whom?
Me. Duh.
You were led to agree with Raqi’s assessment based on your own offline comments?
LOL DreamsMat, I guess you don’t know who you be exchanging convo with offline.
I guess I don’t. lol Question is, does anyone really know?
DreamsM-I noticed your critical thinking skills, and most unreflective thinkers view that as rebellion. Keep on thinking my brother!
Much appreciated. It’s my hope that everyone will navigate life in such a way that maximizes their own happiness. The blog is a forum for public expression. If what I write adds some value to someone’s life, then I’m grateful to have been blessed with the opportunity to do so. If they think I’m full of shyt, I understand that too. lol
BlackMagicWoman
April 27th, 2010
2:48 pm
“Once you go white, your credit is TIGHT…”
How about if I go German?
Come on…ya’ll know how I do..I’m International…MAN! 
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:49 pm
CoolShadow, thanks
Melo, check your email.
I would like a blue nautica them in one of the rooms. Deep nautica blue and white. With a bold yellow small stripe to separate the two colors of blue and white. Maybe some beach sand dune pictures on the wall etc.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:49 pm
You were led to agree with Raqi’s assessment based on your own offline comments?
No dear. Comments you’ve made other than this here blog.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:50 pm
“Julia, this is the guy who saw you in the swimsuit and this is his wife”
Carlito – Just what kind of offline convos were you and melo having?!
Anonymous
April 27th, 2010
2:51 pm
Boring topic.
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:51 pm
BlackMagic — Fair enough… How about: Once you go German, yo azz will be squirmin’
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:52 pm
Cool Shadow, yep that’s it right there. It’s Weird Science. Imma open up a “Build A Mate Factory” beside my “Dumb Chick Rubber Bricks” warehouse.
You can build a mate and add whatever you want.
4 Scoops of Modern
1 Pound of Formal
A Slither of Antique
7 Shakes of Traditional
A Pinch of Contemporary
And a little bit o’ country
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:52 pm
AmazonRed, I got in trouble for sending him that. LOL
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:54 pm
AmazonRed, I got in trouble for sending him that. LOL
Good!!!
Elijah ( Today is a good day!)
April 27th, 2010
2:55 pm
Carlito…my bad, I meant Julia!
What’s up Ms. Sassy? How is my favorite island gurl doing?
Wisadiva is getting her early spring dating on again and again and again!
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:55 pm
@Luvbug
the premise of that tradition is not hard to grasp…when u’re coupled up,ur gold belongs to daddy!
so does my dycck!
reminds me of this running joke we used to do while in college..dude is hitting missionary and asks girl,” luvbug,where is my wang?”
luvbug says,”daddy,its indoors,im taking care of it!”
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:56 pm
Maybe some beach sand dune pictures on the wall etc.
Carlito – That’s my master bedroom. My furniture is beachwood, I’ve been told. The whole feel of the room is very calming.
BlackMagicWoman
April 27th, 2010
2:56 pm
RAQI…I love red the way you love blue. My rooms are done in themes. My guest room & dinning room are Asian (Red/Black/Cream), the light bathroom is blue & chocolate. My room is bollywood (purple, gold and sage..complete with staues of Ganesha & Kali and the master bath is Black, pink & leopard. My living is Red, Black and gold, Victorian theme complete with antique Victorian couch. The kitchen is just red and white.
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:56 pm
lol raqi cute!
Leggs
April 27th, 2010
2:56 pm
Good afternoon everyone. I just got back from a meeting at the airport and it’s been a doosey.
If you’re still talking about chivalry (which I doubt), I love it, I believe it still exists and I see it daily. It hasn’t died.
I have sent out an evite to Tazzee’s soiree, please look out for it and if you haven’t received it, please let me know. I’m receiving quite a few bouncebacks!
CONGRATULATIONS CARLITO….CARLITO ARE YOU THERE, CARLITO…Oh no, another one bites the dust!
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:57 pm
dag kimmie that sounds NICE!!!!!!!!! do you have a deck????
I wanna buy I house geesh! crawling before I walk! I’ve never had this itch before til now! lol
BlackMagicWoman
April 27th, 2010
2:57 pm
“Once you go German, yo azz will be squirmin’”
OMG…SWISS…you are a lost casue man!
It is far too late for help for you!
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:58 pm
Waving @ Leggs!!!!!
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
3:00 pm
BlackMagic, most of the walls in my house is white or a shade of off white. My bedroom however is a sorta tan color. I don’t do a lot of bold colors like the reds, burgundy and purple. I like elegant yet simple.
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
3:01 pm
that was my theme raqi!!!!
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
3:02 pm
kimmie, I bet it looks wonderful.
Leggs, Thank you and I don’t know if you sent the eVite to me on purpose but I RSVP’d for my wife and I.
BlackMagicWoman, Bollywood? LOL
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2010
3:03 pm
No dear. Comments you’ve made other than this here blog.
Oh that’s cool. Everything said will be interpreted some way by someone. I wish only happiness for the interpreters. Always love and never malice.
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
3:04 pm
LadyJ, I love the movie Weird Science because they built the perfect woman, they thought, then realize they couldn’t handle her or the lifestyle. LOL
I have the perfect man. Those little differences that we have are just what makes it enjoyable and interesting to be together. I love the crust of him. He is my chocolate delight.
With a little cream filling. LOL
Luvbug
April 27th, 2010
3:05 pm
Ummmm…now resubmitting
What the Waka Flaka? Melo, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?