Will chivalrous expectations last?
I was very happy to make it out to the wonderful Atlanta Film Festival. If you’ve never been, I would definitely recommend it, even if you are not a huge fan of films. There was literally something for everyone, including films/shorts on music, art, comedy, history and many other genres of film were represented. The attendees were as diverse as the films that were featured.
One of the featured shorts that stood out to me in the African American Shorts showcase was Train.
Train (2009) Darius Clark Monroe, Executive Producer
It was a short, yet powerful film about what men go through when they have to decide how to handle difficult situations in regards to chivalry. I am being intentionally vague as not to give away the entire premise, but it made me think hard about what single women expect from men.
If a man is not interested in a woman romantically, we still would expect some sort of chivalry from them. With all the confusing gender roles that can create dating and relationship issues, how will things shift? Will women continue to expect chivalry? If there is a need to step in and take on a protector role, what would you think of a man who does not consider it his duty to act?
When we are all learning the “new gender roles” how do you think we will progress in what we expect from one another? I know none of us have crystal balls, but what is your educated guess considering what you have seen and heard?
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537 comments Add your comment
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
1:56 pm
Offline comments by whom?
LOL DreamsMat, I guess you don’t know who you be exchanging convo with offline.
Luvbug
April 27th, 2010
1:57 pm
Congrats Carlito!
Melo
April 27th, 2010
1:57 pm
@Luvbug??
It maybe Wacka flacka to u,but im giving ur another cultural tip.
Its true!
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
1:57 pm
in less than two/three months
More like in less than two/three weeks. Or even days. LOL
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
1:57 pm
jtj on point the qt folks get ignored I try to speak back……..
awwww carlito “my wife”!!!! Enjoy the Derby!
Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)
April 27th, 2010
1:58 pm
crack is whack…say it wif me….
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
1:58 pm
SlimOne, I have never had any real purpose to blog here, so yes I am staying. LOL
Professor
April 27th, 2010
1:59 pm
Carlito, Congrats tto you and Julia Also I think you married into a great family that was very kind and considerate of your father-in-law. I wish you guys the best. Just think it all started with the blog telling you to love again and to talk to her…we can’t forget the flowers either
@DreamsM-I noticed your critical thinking skills, and most unreflective thinkers view that as rebellion. Keep on thinking my brother!
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
1:59 pm
Dan, my point was to show that you do follow rules.
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:01 pm
lol sassy!
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:02 pm
Well, d@mn…. CONGRATS, Carlito! You don’t play, do you, brother?
Kym
April 27th, 2010
2:02 pm
@Carlito..well congrats again to you and Mrs. Carlito!
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:02 pm
Luvbug, thank you.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:03 pm
he gave us more than some people’s with a yearly salary
*swoon* I really need to marry well. I’ve done the broke thing… time for something new.
Kym
April 27th, 2010
2:04 pm
@Swisscheese …hey I found your pic on the Facebook site. You are right it wasn’t hard to guess at all..LMAO!!! I pictured you bald tho..
Timeless
April 27th, 2010
2:04 pm
“THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING” @ 9:11 am. “Chivalry has turned into convinient chivalry. Meaning most babes now a days only want it when its convinient for them or if they are in the mood for it. In todays “I dont need a man to do anything for me” society”.
Very true. I agree 110%. In my experience, when you open the door for a woman, you don’t know if she will smile and say thanks or go off into the “you don’t think I can open the door because I am a woman?” line.
Re: “I dont need a man to do anything for me”.
Yes, many women want to be the “modern woman” and they don’t need a man – except when it comes to wining and dining them and picking up the tab, at which point they become “old-fashioned”.
Let the flaming begin…
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:06 pm
we need each other…..
Timeless
April 27th, 2010
2:06 pm
Raqi @ 10:36 am. “My dad taught us at an early age to not hold conversations in languages that others in your company cannot understand. He said it is disrespectful.”
You had a great upbringing! Congrats!!!
Luvbug
April 27th, 2010
2:07 pm
we need each other…..
We certainly do.
Professor
April 27th, 2010
2:07 pm
Melo I just saw your bathing in the river comment…I am going to report your comments (just kidding).
LMBAO 
you are a mess!
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:07 pm
“…I pictured you bald tho..”
Bald? WTF, Kym? I read bald?
C’mon, now… To paraphrase form Katt Williams: “don’t act like my hair ain’t luxurious, ‘cos you KNOW it is…” 
Timeless
April 27th, 2010
2:07 pm
Agree with Lady J-Baby. The bottom line is that masculinity and femininty need each other to survive, without all the games…
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:08 pm
I agree 110%
Timeless, I am the only one that agrees “110%” around these parts. LOL But yeah I agree with Infamous’ comment also.
Just so you know For Real is going to challenge you on that 110.
Dan
April 27th, 2010
2:08 pm
Raqi – I never said any different, I just follow the one’s I choose to.
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:08 pm
AmazonRed, he went above and beyond, but as a tradition Italian weddings are very profitable so are birthdays. Everyone likes to give big money
Kym, thank again
Professor, thank you as well and thanks for convincing me to send the flowers a day early
I’m Swiss, thank you bro, once I am convinced I am ready to be all in. I was surprised she was willing to go to Vegas.
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:08 pm
Carlito – Congrats, you’re an old married man now!LOL!!! Wow, you read like a movie sometimes!
Hey, tell me 2 things – what wedding chapel in Vegas did you get married at & what cut of diamond did Julia pick out?
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:10 pm
swiss –
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:11 pm
I was surprised she was willing to go to Vegas.
Carlito – Knowing you had a fear of marriage and commitment, she didn’t want to risk you changing your mind.
Smart girl.
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:11 pm
Timeless??
hold conversations in languages that others in your company cannot understand
For ur info,Raqi does that here on the blog when she finds another french/lingo?? partner to blog 2 way with.Unless u dont consider us company??
I be curious,is she saying”my man is going outta town so u can slide in or what?? but u know what can u do when u cannot understand the lingo!
Kym
April 27th, 2010
2:12 pm
@Swiss..I don’t know why..but that is how I saw you..bald. Hey it could be worse..I picture RandyT..looking like Earl Hickey(My name is Earl..not to say Jason Lee is bad looking..
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:13 pm
Professor??
I wasnt even trying to be funny tho.
That happens for real…in the cntry!
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:13 pm
“…once I am convinced I am ready to be all in…”
Cheers, man! Here’s to being all up in it…
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:14 pm
Timeless, we had a blog topic on here once where we are living in the days where people want relationships A la carte when it comes to the things wanted and not in the relationship. Folks want the benefit of the traditional mate only where it benefits them. And other times they want their mate to act in a modern sense. As Poppa always say we are some selfish beings, especially in today’s world.
“Whatever is convenient for me is what I want until having it the other way around benefits me two days from now.”
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:14 pm
Raqi, I agree with your 12:06 about women’s chivalry toward men and it is something I practice daily.
All I got to say to these women that don’t want men to hold doors or be courteous – GET A CLUE!
Melo – To your earlier post, I agree that we are often judged by our attire and the way we carry ourselves. We get “chosen” for jobs & spouse-material that way quite a bit. But that in no way should determine whether or not we extend basic human respect and courtesy in our everyday comings & goings.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:15 pm
“…once I am convinced I am ready to be all in…”
Cheers, man! Here’s to being all up in it…
Maybe I gotta gets me a white man…
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:17 pm
Swiss..I don’t know why..but that is how I saw you..bald.
@Swiss!!
shes goading u!
are u gon to take that lying down??
Professor
April 27th, 2010
2:17 pm
Melo great 2:11
That was too funny to me.
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:17 pm
Kym — Funny thing is, my brother is totally bald. I’m talking Kojak bald. In fact most all the male relatives on my mom’s side of the family were bald by the time they were in their early 20’s. And here I am with this thick, luxurious head of hair well into my 30’s…
I always knew I was adopted… 
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:17 pm
kimmie, we did it right in our hotel. The Wedding Chapel at the Venetian(Palazzo). We wanted to have somewhat decent pictures as decent as a wedding in jeans could be
She choose a Marquise cut diamond with Topaz around it. My band has small diamonds and topaz in it as well.
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:17 pm
Who ever knew there was so many freakin colors of blue? I am trying to decide on a shade of blue to paint the dining room walls. Too many options just drive you insane.
Raqi
April 27th, 2010
2:18 pm
Melo, maybe I don’t.
Melo
April 27th, 2010
2:20 pm
Melo, maybe I don’t.
@Raqi??
u need to take the compliment back in ma view!
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
swiss…if you say “luxurious” one more time, I’ma lose it!
Kym
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
@Melo..look here joker..I am not goading him…so stop trying to get stuff started..
Timeless
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
Raqi: “Whatever is convenient for me is what I want until having it the other way around benefits me two days from now.”
I couldn’t have said it better.
AmazonRed™
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
i'm swiss
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
“Maybe I gotta gets me a white man…”
ARed — You know what they say… “Once you go white, your credit is TIGHT…”
@ Melo — No time to respond, I gotta head upstairs to rub in a little extra Rogaine, just in case…
kimmie-livin my golden life
April 27th, 2010
2:21 pm
Carlito – Okay, the Venetian is nice! I like that. I like the sound of your rings too – not traditional with the topaz!
I approve!!
Lady J-Baby put the work in like a champion......
April 27th, 2010
2:22 pm
blue is my fav color!!!!! rhoyal blue or light ice blue!!!! all shades….when I become a homeowner I will have a blueroom!!!!!!! Enjoy your task Raqi!
Carlito
April 27th, 2010
2:22 pm
Timeless, thanks.