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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Misadventures in New Orleans

Hello everyone! I’m “blogging on location” from the wonderful city of New Orleans.  I’ve been here since Saturday to attend the weekend bachelorette activities of a fabulous bride-to-be.  We descended upon the Big Easy during the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  It’s been great friends, food, and the best music in the world!

As I was trekking through Hartsfield-Jackson, a very handsome guy was noticing me. I noticed him noticing me and then I noticed him right back.  He ended up escorting me all the way to my gate (gentleman?) and then he asked me to take his number down.  I joked that I didn’t want to risk forgetting that I met him since I was headed to a weekend of debauchery.  He took mine and minutes later, he sends a text giving me his phone number.

Alright so, when men ask women to do the calling, is this a new twist to even the playing field of dating? Am I expected to call him when I get back? I actually don’t mind calling but I found it strange that he was so adamant about me calling him. I am so not a rules kind of girl, I just do what feels right.  In this situation, the right thing to do is call him if he crosses my mind.  If I don’t hear from him, I will make a phone call, and then wait.  *sigh* Dating gets complicated for no good reason sometimes.

Guys, what do you prefer with number swap and first contact?  When you are interested, does it matter who does the calling and when?  Are women offended when you ask them to call you instead of vice versa?

Should I let the guy lead the contact and interest or do I put in effort and wait for reciprocation?  What works best for you?

349 comments Add your comment

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:50 pm

@mqew

To wit, err bit of this 6′4 would eased out the door.

My creep is fantastic.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:51 pm

mqew/Proff?

ol girl shld have checked on that upfront too to see if dude was gonna cover the tab or not be4 they ordered.
Dont embarras ur boyfriend after speaking highly of him to ur BFF in his absence. :lol:

@Proff?? Does the friend now have a sponsor or she still flying solo still?

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:51 pm

@Prof ~ because that is how WE do it. But apparently, she didn’t say anthing to him about anything and took it for granted that he would pay

mqew

April 26th, 2010
3:53 pm

Dan – Why? How many times have you had to practice the creep-mode :lol:

DK – You hush as well. I didn’t mean it like that…

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
3:53 pm

MEN LIKE SEX
MEN WANT YOUR SEX
AND SOME FOOD
AND SOME QUIET
AND SOME BEER

Who doesn’t understand that by now?

I do need to pick up more beer at the store tho!

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:55 pm

@mqew

Lately – none

But juslike ridina-bike

SlimOne

April 26th, 2010
3:55 pm

Dr. Baby Hair: Um…i’m having a bit of trouble getting this eye patch over the CT. This must be a smedium or something. :???:

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
3:55 pm

Afternoon Peeps!

My boss’s 50th bday today & HIS boss told us to go all out. So we did! Had a blowout over-the-hill party, complete with cane, Bengay, Polygrip, Grecian Formula, etc! One lady had her father to build us a small coffin, which we used as a decorative prop for the bags of potato chips! Good food – he loves lemon pepper wings & greek pasta salad. I made some of my famous lemonade. Party was off the chain!

That tab-for-friends thing can be tricky. He really didn’t “invite” per se, just said roll thru. In my younger days, my bf probably didn’t have the money to cover everybody, so we’d probably all would go dutch, with him maybe throwing in a little extra for me. Nowadays, my man would probably pay all no sweat, unless is was a whopper of a bill. Wouldn’t sweat over $55, but some may not have it like that, times are hard, can’t assume.

SlimOne

April 26th, 2010
3:57 pm

LMAO@ Dan “But juslike ridina-bike” :lol:

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:58 pm

@Kimmie/Melo

Even if I broke a $100 bill to pay my $40, the money still wouldn’t be the issue.

It’s obligating me without speaking to me about it first, it’s the assumption.

I bet ole dude couldn’t mention a 3sum during there little soiree without some offense? I won’t assume isht about/for you, don’t do it to me.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
3:59 pm

it’s still his damn loot and I don’t obligate his funds in regards to some other female.
Please, slam the gavel because the case is now closed.

CoolShadow

April 26th, 2010
4:00 pm

@Professor

I’m going to assume on your 3:18 post that the guy covered his and his GF part of the tab and left her BFF to cover her own. In that case, I see no problem with that. But why is his girl frontin’ on his dime? If she was that concerned the GF should’ve picked up the entire tab herself.

Dan

April 26th, 2010
4:00 pm

@Slim

Bein home and hanging with the old crew got me right back into ’shawty-speak’ or ’shawtese’. Now, I’m figuring out the short had texts.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:02 pm

yeah yeah yeah…….

being broke aint an offense!

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
4:05 pm

It’s obligating me without speaking to me about it first, it’s the assumption.

Dan – I agree, that’s why in my post I ended it saying “can’t assume”. I’ve had situations like this to come up & I have found a way to pull my man aside & ask if he could cover my friend, just to be sure.

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:07 pm

then I would have smoothed out my baby hair and stepped!

This is killing me so softly. :lol:

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:09 pm

The situation can be awkward. The guy and I were at Dave and Busters and since my girl lives down the street I asked her to roll thru. We all ate and had drinks. When the bill came, he paid for me and I. She paid for herself. She didn’t trip but it was still kinda awkward. I should have paid for her.

CoolShadow

April 26th, 2010
4:11 pm

That tab-for-friends thing can be tricky

Very true statement. I generally try to avoid being in parties greater than 5-6 people because drama and shortages toward the total tab increase exponentially with more people. People ordering entrees but throw down appetizer money, forget to add gratuity or simply ‘forget’ their tab and skip before the bill comes. And this was with a group of people from a professional organization who should’ve had the resources to pay their share…

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
4:14 pm

She didn’t trip but it was still kinda awkward. I should have paid for her.

Amred – I feel ya. I’ve done that, paid for my friend too.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:14 pm

being broke aint an offense!
How does being broke factor into the equation? The friend can pay for herself or get her own man to pick up her tab.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:14 pm

Queen invited a cpple of our friends to dinner at Cheascake one time,to celebrate my birfday.One of our lady friends had no bf but her cousin’s bf had a friend that was visitng town from another city.
so BFF came with the friend we were all paired/cppled up.Everybody is seating next to or opposite their interest on the dinner table

dinner is served,we eat..and then when the check came,visiting dude tells chic to pay their portion of the bill coz he left his money at the hotel.

Our Girl friend was hawt..real hot and pissed of by that dudef but she did pay the enire bill…..

Grapevine was Dude was planning on smashing and luring chic to the hotel to collect her dues but he kissed nana good bye coz the chick said,”no,im str8,u dont have to pay me back!” and she went her way :lol: :lol:

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
4:16 pm

@Proff?? Does the friend now have a sponsor or she still flying solo still?

@Melo I will have to ask him, because he is my friend not his GF and her broke BFF. I will see if she is still in need of a sponsor.

@Kimmie, I wish you could send me a plate via the blog.

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
4:22 pm

@Ared in a situation like that if I was your friend I would have told the waiter in a low key voice to start me a separate check. This would have been great if you all were already sitting down, because I could have said something like, “may I please have a menu, and I would like to start a separate ticket.”

@CoolShadow you must have been at the last birthday dinner I attended. All of these high steppers, big ballers, with imported cars to match their imported purses…big money 6-figures and I am not talking about 105K and two of those heiffers skipped out on the tab. I was .38 .45 hot.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:25 pm

Grapevine was Dude was planning on smashing and luring chic to the hotel to collect her dues
Seems dude had the game all twisted. He would have had a better shot if he had just stepped up and paid. Why didn’t you all put him up on game man? lol

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:26 pm

Grapevine was Dude was planning on smashing and luring chic to the hotel to collect her dues

What kind of stupid weak azz game is that?!

Like dude looks any parts of attractive after she paid for his dinner in the first place. I would have got to his hotel and waited downstairs in my car while he ran upstairs to give me my money and bring it back down!

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:26 pm

Why didn’t you all put him up on game man?

@Dreamz??

we heard about that after the facts!

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:27 pm

@Ared in a situation like that if I was your friend I would have told the waiter in a low key voice to start me a separate check

We all had seperate checks to begin with. I just gave him mine. :lol:

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:27 pm

I stand corrected, Melo, she’s 40 and he’s 37.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:27 pm

we didnt know what was happening!

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:28 pm

big money 6-figures and I am not talking about 105K and two of those heiffers skipped out on the tab. I was .38 .45 hot.
This is why I don’t like going out in big groups like that. Even if the restaurant separates the tabs, people still argue over who’s tab the appetizer goes on. Then everyone doesn’t always have the same tipping philosophies, so it’s just ends up being a mess.

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

April 26th, 2010
4:30 pm

it’s still his damn loot and I don’t obligate his funds in regards to some other female.

Agree… this happened recently. I knew he had us, but I extended myself to cover her. She got back at me with the next meal/drink. She was not apart of the original dinner plan, so I didn’t get upset with him. He put it out there that maybe next time :) (Note: He’s very financially able… why because he works within his planned budget, she just wasn’t in the plan at the time).

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:31 pm

He would have sat at that table watching us eat since he foolishly left his wallet at the hotel.

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:31 pm

melo – It’s not your fault. I’m just questioning his incredibly stupid thought process.

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
4:32 pm

This is why I don’t like going out in big groups like that.

Dreams, me either!

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:32 pm

Trix are for kids silly rabbit….

You’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut (like the rest of the sorry as joe blows)….

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:33 pm

sorry a$$ joe blows….

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

April 26th, 2010
4:33 pm

He would have sat at that table watching us eat since he foolishly left his wallet at the hotel.

Leggs, ya funny!

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:33 pm

melo – It’s not your fault. I’m just questioning his incredibly stupid thought process.
As stupid as this is, it does make you wonder though if this tactic has been successful in the past.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:36 pm

sorry a$$ joe blows….

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:36 pm

@DreamsM ~ no doubt it has. We all check to make sure we have id and money before stepping out the door if only for the mere fact that we are African American!!!

SlimOne

April 26th, 2010
4:41 pm

When there is a big group…sometimes it’s just best to order your meal & drinks at the bar, close out your tab…THEN join the rest of the group at the table. :lol:

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
4:42 pm

Dreams – I guess it depends on what one defines as successful. If the goal is to get a free meal, it was a smashing success. Some people are all out for what they can get, crooks really, always pulling some kind of con, always after the “hook-up”. I know plenty folks that way & yes they get over quite a bit. But every dog has their day. You hate to see folks like that coming, cause eventually everyone peeps their game.

If it’s to get women, well it may have worked with some lame women for awhile, but, like I said above, every dog has it’s day. Didn’t work THIS time, that’s for sure!

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:42 pm

When there is a big group…sometimes it’s just best to order your meal & drinks at the bar, close out your tab…THEN join the rest of the group at the table.
Sounds like a professional. lol

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:42 pm

THEN join the rest of the group at the table

@Slimone??

coz u afraid to say” we goin dutch?”

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
4:51 pm

I guess it depends on what one defines as successful.
Melo said that the guy’s intention was to “lure” her back to the hotel and smash. So, smashing would be the defintion of success here. I guess it can work…not ruling it out. lol

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
4:53 pm

Some of y’all have some odd friends. Since the invention of separate checks, I enjoy group dining. Pretty painless.

We do make sure upfront that the restaurant we chose will do separate checks tho.

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
4:54 pm

See ya tomorrow afternoon!

Never receive counsel from unproductive people (or from those who leave their wallets where they aren’t)!

Good night.

kimmie-livin my golden life

April 26th, 2010
4:56 pm

“smashing success”

LOL!!

Dreams – You’re right! And yeah, if that’s you’re only goal & you finese it right, say the right things, and catch a person at a weak moment, say after a few drinks or if they are feeling low, sure!

It just reeks of stuff I used to encounter when I was much younger, from other equally young guys! Just have gotten too old for stuff like that now. So yeah, a grown up should rule out such tiredness!LOL!!

Melo

April 26th, 2010
4:57 pm

Some of y’all have some odd friends

@Ared!

That lame buddy, i wldnt consider him my friend, a friend of a friend maybe.

All my friends are smoof smashers,their gerlz get into bed happy and smiling and most times, pantiless!

Good nite yall! :lol: