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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Misadventures in New Orleans

Hello everyone! I’m “blogging on location” from the wonderful city of New Orleans.  I’ve been here since Saturday to attend the weekend bachelorette activities of a fabulous bride-to-be.  We descended upon the Big Easy during the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  It’s been great friends, food, and the best music in the world!

As I was trekking through Hartsfield-Jackson, a very handsome guy was noticing me. I noticed him noticing me and then I noticed him right back.  He ended up escorting me all the way to my gate (gentleman?) and then he asked me to take his number down.  I joked that I didn’t want to risk forgetting that I met him since I was headed to a weekend of debauchery.  He took mine and minutes later, he sends a text giving me his phone number.

Alright so, when men ask women to do the calling, is this a new twist to even the playing field of dating? Am I expected to call him when I get back? I actually don’t mind calling but I found it strange that he was so adamant about me calling him. I am so not a rules kind of girl, I just do what feels right.  In this situation, the right thing to do is call him if he crosses my mind.  If I don’t hear from him, I will make a phone call, and then wait.  *sigh* Dating gets complicated for no good reason sometimes.

Guys, what do you prefer with number swap and first contact?  When you are interested, does it matter who does the calling and when?  Are women offended when you ask them to call you instead of vice versa?

Should I let the guy lead the contact and interest or do I put in effort and wait for reciprocation?  What works best for you?

349 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
2:58 pm

ared I am trying but whatever that team name is they got some hidden confidence from somewhere…..they calling our baby old know….kobe is just better! lol

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
2:59 pm

Leggs, Leggs, Leggs, Leggs

#1. I am not Molly Maid, in fact I call her sometimes to clean my own place. So if cleaning was a hobby or interest of mine I would turn that thing into a business.

#2. Dude is not riding around in my car while I am at work. Man, this ultra lame dude asked if he could use my extra car one time. I had to pause and look at the phone. Why would I let a grown man use my car? Shoot, he should call Budget if it is a quick need, and Nalley if it is long term.

@Randyt I agree sex is not a good topic on a first date.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 26th, 2010
2:59 pm

I suppose if one truly has no intentions of getting married, then the upfront honesty is probably commendable…but I bet it also limits the options.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
3:00 pm

Run4life

April 26th, 2010
3:00 pm

If you are talking about sex with me in the first few phone calls, and you haven’t even taken me out on a date, and we don’t even know if we are compatible with our likes and dislikes, and you don’t even know my last name, then chances are you only want one thing from me. Therefore, I keep it moving.

Honestly ladies, if a man is interested in you as his future wife or SO, he is going to respect you and not try to jump in bed with you right away.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 26th, 2010
3:00 pm

….how long would you blogettes date someone before offering to clean up his apartment and give him your car for the day while you’re at work

:shock:

Maybe…maybe after he’s proposed….maybe. :???:

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
3:00 pm

And what’s wrong with dating during the week? Where is it written that Friday and Saturday are date nights?

Nothing wrong with that. Just more time to kick it on the weekends, usually. And you can sleep in the next day.

Time always seems to be cut short during the week…

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:01 pm

Melo: “and ur smash rotation dont dry up regardless of ur upfrontness??” – Nope but that’s because women have really big egos and piss poor listening skills. Combine those two thing along with my baby hair For Real got chicks for days.

“do any of the ladies stutter and push back??” – Yep, it’s usually around New Years. That’s when I get the ultimatum and I tell them to refer back to our first conversation for their answer.

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:03 pm

@Leggs

That’s this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb2H4AK1po

@For Real

It ain’t just WD. The logic of hearing want [they] wanna hear can be applied universally. And specifically to sprung people (male/female – see above youtube)

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
3:04 pm

Combine those two thing along with my baby hair For Real got chicks for days.

*hollers!!!!!!* :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
3:04 pm

sigh, geesh, another bites the dust……lol….ok off to enjoy the rest of my day!!!!

Peace out Crew!

Go Lakers!
Will Boston lose in Boston-Prob NOT—-geesh too! LOL!

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:05 pm

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:06 pm

how long would you blogettes date someone before offering to clean up his apartment and give him your car for the day while

@Leggs!

she will sgree to cleaning my aprtment usually when i been in and out a bit(compromised her) and we hanging tgther often.
If coach chic is cleaning the aprtment,its cool…..she be in for a minute.

The simple answer….when the sex is that good that she claims the dyckk as hers! :lol:

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:08 pm

Okay blog ladies I have said this once before and I will say it again.

MEN LIKE SEX
MEN WANT YOUR SEX
AND SOME FOOD
AND SOME QUIET
AND SOME BEER

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:10 pm

@ARed ~ I knew I would lose someone at “apartment.” I knew if I typed this, someone may just put their fingers in their ears singing na na na na I can’t hear ya! Apparently he has 3 roommates. They have a roommate style setup apartment and his room and the kitchen were worse than Mister’s kitchen in The Color Purple (let her tell it). I would have to run because if anybody can keep a kitchen like that some parts of their body isn’t too clean either.

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
3:10 pm

@CoolShadow

LOL please add the wallet dater to the list! You are correct and they are the worst. Their whole vibe switches up when they find out you can sponsor somethng.

Advice, if she ever invites her friend, you leave both of them sitting right there or if you pick her up and this chick tries to jump in the car, stop the date right there. She is trying to bring her own C-Blocker in for you. DONT FALL FOR IT!

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:11 pm

Slim: Well I wouldn’t have these bald patches in my head if you would stop pulling out scalp when I perform an earmuffintechtomy on you.

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
3:14 pm

:lol: @ Leggs

Okay I will admit, I washed the Misters dishes. He was washing them, but I wasn’t gonna sit around like Princess Amazon (that day) so when he took a break, I finished em up.

Now, I get over there yesterday, and there are twice as many as the last time. I offered to wash them (praying he’d say no :lol: ). When he said no, I sat around like Princess Amazon while he cooked. It was just a mountain of dishes and I just couldn’t. :lol:

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:15 pm

@Leggs??

so how old is coach with room mates?

and the girlfriend/cut buddy??

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
3:16 pm

@Professor

LOL regarding your post, its not that I stuck around long enough but sometimes when we meet a woman, she may be dealing with someone else and thats when I may be getting a lukewarm vibe.

Now if they break up or something happens, then she will switch her vibe up and go strong for me. The thing is its not genuine and it looks like she is doing to much.

I have others I need to add to the list to..

Like CoolShadow said, the girl who only wants to sponsor but I will take it further…

The coattail chick….she always knows you have something cool or fun going on and she only comes calling around the weekend time or if an event is in town….Whats going on, where yall, going, oh I may stop through there…then they try to turn this to a sponsorship situation….

The favor girl…

How you doing, hows work, etc…cool…I need a favor…I need you to move my couch, tv, or insert heavy item that her bf told her to move here _____lol

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
3:16 pm

I agree sex is not a good topic on a first date.
Funny thing is that often women are the ones to bring up sex first. I take this as a green light to further that convo. ;-) Women like sex too, and if that’s what they want from you, then you don’t have to press them for it…often they’ll let you know.

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:16 pm

@Melo ~ I have to agree with your answer. The girl is smiling all the time with that wistful look in her eyes counting down the next time she will see her man. Nothing wrong, she’s grown, was just surprised when she told me about his room and the kitchen and that it took 2 hrs to clean just the kitchen…one word = NASTY!

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:18 pm

M.dot and Coolshadows- about the friend thing how do you guys feel about that situation. One of my male friends lady chewed him out. She was out shopping with her BFF that had been recently dumped by her BF. When his GF checked in he mentioned he was at Applebee’s having drinks and they could stop by. Long story short they had a few drinks each and some appetizers. The bill was about $55 total all together he put $40 on the tab and his GF was hot. She was shame because he did not pick up the entire tab. I understood his logic better than his GF so I could not help out on that one :???:

SlimOne

April 26th, 2010
3:21 pm

For Real: well it shouldn’t be so good :mrgreen: …wait, that wasn’t a dig, that was a compliment?!!!

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
3:23 pm

Funny thing is that often women are the ones to bring up sex first

Those hussies! :lol:

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:24 pm

@Professor

The common justification behind “do for me, do for my people [sister, bff, chicks that came to the bar with me, etc.]” is that buying for all is (somehow) buying for the one. I.E. “Why yeen buy my friends no drinks?”

The common reason it’s even mentioned is weak sauce pimpin. Some dude somewhere bought a table full of women drinks, just to talk to the one, and; now that’s ‘what’s hot in the streets’.

You homeboy was right in paying his portion of the tab. More than 2 people, more than one method of payment on the bill.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:25 pm

Professor is??

he was entitled to do that altho that wasnt very gentlemanly! Unless ofcourse thats all he had.

The other thing,it depends on what he said when they came over..if he said sme like,”u guys can order what u like” then he has to pick the tab.But sme things, a gentleman has to pre-empt.
If they came over and im broke or didnt bring enough, i cld say,’u guys, i cld have ordered u sme but i dont have any money today’..sme like that.

Some men moves are just broke moves! :lol:

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:26 pm

I believe she’s 37 and he’s 34. Nothing wrong with help cleaning your man’s apartment, but when 3 other men live there, I’m not trying to be the sorority hall mom! I’m not sure what he does for her besides keeping her happy (lol), so for right now, she’s in 7th heaven. She’s a giver and they seem to have met on common ground because she wants to give freely and openly. They go out often (abt 3x a week), but she’s yet to tell me what he brings to the table besides some fabulous loving. So, guess that’s enough for her.

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:26 pm

@Dan,

I didn’t see anything wrong with what he did and he paid a big portion of his GF’s part. He told me she said a bill that small he should have been able to handle it, plus he knew she was rolling with her BFF. She said she wasn’t accustomed to what he did. They have been together about 6-9 months so I was like :???:

mqew

April 26th, 2010
3:29 pm

Prof – She has no reason to be upset. He didn’t invite them to a night out on the town. He just simply said stop through. My HUSBAND (as opposed to a bf) probably would have sprung for the entire bill, but I wouldn’t necessarily EXPECT him to. AND, it’s his damn money, he can do what he’d like to with it….

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:30 pm

Some men moves are just broke moves!

Melo, LMAO :grin: I was thinking her friend should have kept a mental tab in her head and put the MU-la (money) on the table to cover her portion and let him say,”naw, I got it.”

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:31 pm

I believe she’s 37 and he’s 34

@Leggs!

when a woman is getting her ears, i mean 2 labia pulled,u cant tell her nothing!

U dont wanna be the enemy,do u??

:lol: :lol:

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:31 pm

@Professor

My problem would be the assumption. After 9 months (sheiittt 9 minutes) you should know that don’t fly with Dan generally. If the question was asked “do you got us?” and an answer given, then cool.

But to assume someone’s gratuity is just rude. After the age of 18 (before momma always said) have your own money when you go somewhere.

GF, cousin, sister, momma, whoever, never assume or presume that a guy is going to pay the fare for more than who he came to see.

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:32 pm

Prof: If I was your friend I would have picked up my $40 and just paid for my ish and would have told ole girl you cheer her azz up on your own dime and then I would have smoothed out my baby hair and stepped!

Slim: Thank but I am a Doctor. Oh and I just bought one of those old leather football helments. The Doctor is in now!!!

For Real likes the hussies! Why can’t two grown people talk about sex on the first date. Hell if it wasn’t for sex neither one (aka the man) wouldn’t be there in the first place.

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
3:32 pm

She was shame because he did not pick up the entire tab.
Yeah ol’ girl probably put her man out there without consulting him first, and then she felt like a fool when it didn’t go down the way she bragged it would. I bet that kinda went down like this:

GF: I just talked to my man, and he’s at Applebees. He said to come and have some drinks with him.

BFF: I don’t know. I’m still kinda down about getting dumped. Plus, I don’t really have any money until I get paid.

GF: Girl don’t even worry about it. My man got us. Just come on.

BFF: Well since you put it like that.

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:33 pm

@mqew I totally agree with you on that 3:29 after all it is his damn money.

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:34 pm

@Melo ~ there’s nothing for me to tell her that would cause me to be the enemy…she’s grown. I don’t disapprove of anything she’s doing because it’s her life and has no bearing on mine. I just listen, sometimes SMDH, sometimes smile and sometimes I tell her to please stop cuz I don’t want to hear anymore!

Melo

April 26th, 2010
3:35 pm

@Prof?

re:3.30

it may also depend on whether i like the friend or not..so many things here at play.

But its not gentlemanly to do that coz really,its only $15.00 diffrence.

If it were me, i wld pre-empt the situation if i didnt wanna pay or i didnt have enough.

If i do have the money, i will pay,whether the other friend chic offers or not..if her azz/mind is broke,thats on her! :lol:

mqew

April 26th, 2010
3:37 pm

Dan – Yeah, both of them heiffas had their hand in his wallet.

However, If I feel like my girl need to be treated to those drinks, then I can treat her… HE doesn’t or shouldn’t have to, unless she’s BOTH of our friend.

Dan

April 26th, 2010
3:39 pm

@mqew

If I’m friends with both, they should BOF know better

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:39 pm

“HE doesn’t or shouldn’t have to, unless she’s BOTH of our friend.” – Awwwwww Yeah that’s what I’m talking about. My girl and I have the same girlfriend!!! Now that progressive!!!

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:40 pm

@Melo I did not think about how he felt about her friend. He never mentioned anything bad about her friend so I guess he was ok with her.

@DreamsM…I can see it going down like that…his GF is real funny. Shoot, she got me beat!

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
3:42 pm

Wouldn’t it have been easier if she simply asked if they join could he pick up the tab? State that homegirl didn’t have the money….should never take anything or anyone for granted! Bottom line!

mqew

April 26th, 2010
3:43 pm

Melo – That’s what I’m thinking. I have a friend my SO can’t stand. If I was able to drag him out with her around I know good and gosh-darn well he AIN’T paying for her.

If it’s another friend that he likes, it would be his “pleasure” to pay… But, it’s still his damn loot and I don’t obligate his funds in regards to some other female. What part is that…

SlimOne

April 26th, 2010
3:44 pm

Dr. Baby Hair: I brought the 3 zip ties you asked me to bring to my next appointment. Now when do I find out the relevance of these things?

For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)

April 26th, 2010
3:47 pm

“Now when do I find out the relevance of these things?” – First put this eyepatch on and start that Lou Rawls record.

Professor is.....

April 26th, 2010
3:47 pm

Leggs,

I see it like this if it was my BFF and I wanted to get her out of the house because she is over there :cry: I would have told her now look this is the plan (a) if some of his friends are over their keep your nose out of the air and don’t talk about your ex trying to get free advice get you a free drink and relax, (b) if it is just us I got your one drink and we can share some appetizers at the table. However I would not have put that pressure on my man and did all of that arguing and mess.

sexycool

April 26th, 2010
3:47 pm

Dude was not wrong for not paying for the friend. It would have been a nice gesture, but he didn’t. So what?

mqew

April 26th, 2010
3:47 pm

Dan – Yeah that would be the running joke of the eve… EVERYBODY A ROUND ON DAN!!! YEAH DAN!!! :lol: :lol:

FaReal – Hush boi!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
3:50 pm

DAng Unless she’s both of our friends Leroy Loves That..