Misadventures in New Orleans
Hello everyone! I’m “blogging on location” from the wonderful city of New Orleans. I’ve been here since Saturday to attend the weekend bachelorette activities of a fabulous bride-to-be. We descended upon the Big Easy during the New Orleans Jazz Festival. It’s been great friends, food, and the best music in the world!
As I was trekking through Hartsfield-Jackson, a very handsome guy was noticing me. I noticed him noticing me and then I noticed him right back. He ended up escorting me all the way to my gate (gentleman?) and then he asked me to take his number down. I joked that I didn’t want to risk forgetting that I met him since I was headed to a weekend of debauchery. He took mine and minutes later, he sends a text giving me his phone number.
Alright so, when men ask women to do the calling, is this a new twist to even the playing field of dating? Am I expected to call him when I get back? I actually don’t mind calling but I found it strange that he was so adamant about me calling him. I am so not a rules kind of girl, I just do what feels right. In this situation, the right thing to do is call him if he crosses my mind. If I don’t hear from him, I will make a phone call, and then wait. *sigh* Dating gets complicated for no good reason sometimes.
Guys, what do you prefer with number swap and first contact? When you are interested, does it matter who does the calling and when? Are women offended when you ask them to call you instead of vice versa?
Should I let the guy lead the contact and interest or do I put in effort and wait for reciprocation? What works best for you?
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349 comments Add your comment
CoolShadow
April 26th, 2010
2:03 pm
@M.
You could also add the “Wallet Dater”, the type that more interested in your wallet and resources than in you. Seemed halfhearted or barely interested in you until she discovers that you’re balling according to her definition… she’s assertive enough to initiate a date but still expects you to pay—in some cases will push the envelope and invite someone else without telling you… will only call when she looking for a sponsor of her entertainment activities or she needs a favor but can never reciprocate… will get angry at you for not playing her game way before taking any responsibility for her actions.
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:03 pm
dont just call an hour later like hey what you doing? The same thing I was doing an hour ago!
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:07 pm
@CoolShadow
I had a young lady try that once. Her feelings were hurt when the check came and I pulled out the iPhone calculator. “I ate this and this….”
If it’s group outing, everyone save themselves…
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:11 pm
@Ared/ladies
Suppose y’all meet out on the town and it’s late, dude’s got the number, and calls to make sure you got home okay?
What’s the (honest) reaction then?
Professor
April 26th, 2010
2:14 pm
….stepping in.
@M.dot I love your list, but this one right here did scare me!
The woman who appears uninterested but then suddenly really likes you and it turns border line crazy…
Now, did you stick around long enough to find out why all the sudden interest????
SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++
April 26th, 2010
2:14 pm
Dan – I have no problem wiht that. Although – he shouldn’t expect a long conversation to follow.
Lady J
April 26th, 2010
2:17 pm
dag sexycool it is going to tough watching the lakers lose…..I am with you on the fight….
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:17 pm
Just a text
Thank you ma’am
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:17 pm
Suppose y’all meet out on the town and it’s late, dude’s got the number, and calls to make sure you got home okay?
Dan – No problem with that either. In fact, he gets points. This has happened before, tho usually I get a text (less points for the text
)
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:19 pm
Who calls whom first? Really?
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:21 pm
@For Real
No. It’s “how does him giving me his number relate to the (possible) relationship?”
Least, that’s how I read it.
mqew
April 26th, 2010
2:22 pm
Ared – Not the same. I’m NOT taking your number ie I’m not calling a guy first vs. I don’t like giving out my number ie not comfortable. But whatever luv…..
Dan – That’s cool. Shouldn’t be a problem as long as he’s not crazy, calling from outside my window trying to peek through
Lady J
April 26th, 2010
2:22 pm
whew yall I got out of going to that meeting…..I was totally honest to why I couldn’t meet and even explain they didn’t have to pay me for the services….how bout I am getting pd (THANK YOU JESUS) and they totally undertood all circumstances…..honesty is key….i promise I wanted to lie my way out that meeting but I was straight up!!!!! WOOOOSAH!!!! Now I can totally CHILL for the next 2 to 4 weeks!!!!!! I AM FREE!!!!!!! I will drink to that!!!!
DreamsMaterialize
April 26th, 2010
2:23 pm
tho usually I get a text (less points for the text)
when you met you current, and he sent you a text first before the call, did he initially lose some points? Do you all joke about that now?
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:23 pm
And what’s wrong with dating during the week? Where is it written that Friday and Saturday are date nights?
Prof: How many minutes after meeting you can a dude talk about sex? (be pacific.. 6 mins, 8 mins….)
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:24 pm
@mqew
“Did you make it hm ok?” is much different than:
“when r u going 2 bed?” or “which 1 is ur rm?”
Leggs
April 26th, 2010
2:24 pm
@Dan ~ I think it’s a very nice gesture!
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:26 pm
Ared – Not the same. I’m NOT taking your number ie I’m not calling a guy first vs. I don’t like giving out my number ie not comfortable. But whatever luv…..
mquw – They both speak to comfort. Either way it’s just stepping out of your comfort zone. You’re not willing to do it on one end, I’m not willing to do it on another.
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:27 pm
Dan: Wait a minute… You believe a grown woman meets a dude and her first inclination of dude is about a relationship with him. Now that’s some scary ish!
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:28 pm
when you met you current, and he sent you a text first before the call, did he initially lose some points? Do you all joke about that now?
Dan – He knows nothing about the points system.
It wasn’t anything worth mentioning. The thought about my safety counted more than the method. Had he kept texting (without calling) he would have eventually gotten ignored tho. 
mqew
April 26th, 2010
2:28 pm
Dan – Yeah “Do you have the bedroom next to the bathroom?” Is not what you want to ask…
Run4life
April 26th, 2010
2:29 pm
Nothing us wrong with dating during the week; it can be sorta short, fun and sweet. However, if the week day does not work (both people have a hectic schedule that week), why are you skipping over Friday and Saturday nights to go out on Sunday.
As my minister friend says “I smell a rat”.
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:30 pm
“which 1 is ur rm?”
Dan
April 26th, 2010
2:30 pm
@For Real
Then why the concern over not who calls first, but what “him giving me his number” means?
What other conclusion can be drawn? Better yet, what was yours.
Melo
April 26th, 2010
2:31 pm
Who calls whom first? Really?
@For Real??
at what point do u tell chicks that u dont like/intend to getting married..be4 u get the number or after u get it?
suppose u tell her be4 u get the number and she calls u few days after, is it ok to say u assume she is ok to just a smashig relationship/rotation??
mqew
April 26th, 2010
2:32 pm
What I miss….
When was it said that a date should be on the weekend?
Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....
April 26th, 2010
2:35 pm
during the week dating is cool…..I like it always have……
SlimOne
April 26th, 2010
2:36 pm
For Real – you been cutting pieces of hair out of my wig and gluing it to your sideburn areas again? You know that was a top of the line faker than fake $7 wig. Money don’t grow on trees
Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....
April 26th, 2010
2:36 pm
wow melo! lol
DreamsMaterialize
April 26th, 2010
2:37 pm
Dan – He knows nothing about the points system.
ARed you confusing me with Dan now? I’m saying…
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:40 pm
Dreams – My apologies. Didn’t mean to mix you up!
Run4life
April 26th, 2010
2:40 pm
I meant “nothing is wrong”.
Professor is.....
April 26th, 2010
2:41 pm
@Rell I think at least 131,400 would be a great start.
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:44 pm
Dan: “What other conclusion can be drawn? Better yet, what was yours.” – Wise can make boiling water complicated. The whole thing seems childish to me and that’s coming from a dude that still thinks farts are funny.
Melo: I’m upfront with them… I tell them from jump street I don’t want to be married but in their mind they hear “I’m hurt and I just need a GOOD woman like you that I can fall in love with and marry” So, they give me their number. Now, I know what I said to ole girl abaout marriage so I cannot be held responsible for what she conjours up in her head.
Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....
April 26th, 2010
2:45 pm
friendly is the theme! lol
sexycool
April 26th, 2010
2:46 pm
For Real is lying his wig.
Dude, you know you can’t press down baby hair on a lacefront.
SlimOne
April 26th, 2010
2:49 pm
LOL @ Sexycool
Anyone else find the word ‘lacefront’ funny in itself? lol
Professor is.....
April 26th, 2010
2:49 pm
Now, I know what I said to ole girl abaout marriage so I cannot be held responsible for what she conjours up in her head.
@Rell that is my thing, it bothers sometimes when people hear what they want to hear and make up the rest…smh. I remember Leggs talking about this as it relates to ol’ girl and the coach.
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:50 pm
Slim: Well you didn’t get all funky about me cutting hair off the Golden CT I wouldn’t have to touch your wigs.
Scool: You can if you use that green grease.
Melo
April 26th, 2010
2:51 pm
@For Real??
I tell them from jump street I don’t want to be married
and ur smash rotation dont dry up regardless of ur upfrontness??
do any of the ladies stutter and push back??
For Real (Still Got My Baby Hair)
April 26th, 2010
2:53 pm
Prof: 131,400!!! Lets see, there are 24 hrs in a day, 60 minutes in a hour divide by 17, carry the 2…. awwwww ZIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
Professor is.....
April 26th, 2010
2:54 pm
@Melo, I don’t stutter and push back, but I will drive on. When I have an open conversation of likes/dislikes, wants/needs, expectations/demands and I know in my heart that it does not jive with me I keep going.
sexycool
April 26th, 2010
2:54 pm
My grandma actually preferred Royal Crown over Ultra Sheen.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 26th, 2010
2:54 pm
Talking about sex is not a good first date topic. It seems to me that if the chemistry is there, then talking about it is the world’s fastest way to chill the moment. Let it happen, don’t “ask” for it. Good grief. IMHO
Leggs
April 26th, 2010
2:55 pm
Speaking about gf and the coach….how long would you blogettes date someone before offering to clean up his apartment and give him your car for the day while you’re at work (not always, but often)??
SlimOne
April 26th, 2010
2:56 pm
“Well you didn’t get all funky about me cutting hair off the Golden CT I wouldn’t have to touch your wigs”
Well, I only got funky about my pub hair because if I let you get a hold of that, what do you think we’d get the hair to fill in your bald spots on your head? You know we tried that spray stuff but it didn’t last because you have overactive sweat glands & the black ink tends to run
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:56 pm
Lady J – Have faith. Of COURSE my Lakers are gonna pull it out. They’re just giving the Thunder some false hope.
*as I bite off all my fingernails*
Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....
April 26th, 2010
2:57 pm
huh??? lol
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 26th, 2010
2:57 pm
As funny as it sounds in jokes, I have never once heard of a single conquest by using the line, “I suppose this means a b___ j___ is totally out of the question?” Nope, not even once.
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2010
2:58 pm
Leggs – You lost me at apartment.