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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Misadventures in New Orleans

Hello everyone! I’m “blogging on location” from the wonderful city of New Orleans.  I’ve been here since Saturday to attend the weekend bachelorette activities of a fabulous bride-to-be.  We descended upon the Big Easy during the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  It’s been great friends, food, and the best music in the world!

As I was trekking through Hartsfield-Jackson, a very handsome guy was noticing me. I noticed him noticing me and then I noticed him right back.  He ended up escorting me all the way to my gate (gentleman?) and then he asked me to take his number down.  I joked that I didn’t want to risk forgetting that I met him since I was headed to a weekend of debauchery.  He took mine and minutes later, he sends a text giving me his phone number.

Alright so, when men ask women to do the calling, is this a new twist to even the playing field of dating? Am I expected to call him when I get back? I actually don’t mind calling but I found it strange that he was so adamant about me calling him. I am so not a rules kind of girl, I just do what feels right.  In this situation, the right thing to do is call him if he crosses my mind.  If I don’t hear from him, I will make a phone call, and then wait.  *sigh* Dating gets complicated for no good reason sometimes.

Guys, what do you prefer with number swap and first contact?  When you are interested, does it matter who does the calling and when?  Are women offended when you ask them to call you instead of vice versa?

Should I let the guy lead the contact and interest or do I put in effort and wait for reciprocation?  What works best for you?

349 comments Add your comment

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
11:21 am

i seen *The Notebook* this w/e! i so loved it. cried 3/4 of the movie.

@Wise
i no longer go by the rules. i would love 2 wait for the men to pursue me, but im very impatient. follow your heart! *wink*

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:21 am

She called me.. I didnt think she was thirsty or anything..

@DK??

Why u think she aint thirsty?? Remember,the fact that u like her dont have anythihng to do with her thirst.

Besides,what woman will agree to the fact that they’re thirsty??

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
11:24 am

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
11:25 am

@Professor…

You see what I mean!

@Scool

I feel you but also I am saying let the excitement build up, dont just call an hour later like hey what you doing? The same thing I was doing an hour ago!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:26 am

Melo – I didnt think he was thirsty cause we were vibing and the convo was cool, so why not pick up where you left off and keep it going.. If she didnt call me I was gonna call her.. Thats the beauty of it we were both thinking the same things.. Dude when you free yourself of rules and judgemental thought processes, you become free.. Free from what people think.. Not all rules and law but you get what im saying.. Rules that everyone thinks you should be doing.. And guess what I aint mad she called.. I aint mad at all..

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:28 am

Beaut – Whats the dang gone deal Babe!!

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
11:30 am

Leroy Loving – that 1126a – that’s what’s up!

lurker

April 26th, 2010
11:31 am

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:31 am

See the thing is everybody got game these days and I was a major player in the games dept but now I go with truth.. I go with what works for me. Im gonna be 100% honest and tell you whats up.. If I dig you then I’ll show you. Im not gonna keep dancing around the mulberry bush with you.. If we connect Im gonna let it go where it goes.. Im way to grown to be playing with anyones daughter.. We either dig each other or we dont..

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:32 am

And that was SHE not he on the 11:26 post..

mqew

April 26th, 2010
11:34 am

InfamousDK – Thanks for your two posts. Especially —-> We either dig each other or we don’t

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
11:34 am

yep DK . . . follow your heart! dats how i’m livin’.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:35 am

agree say it, mean it, do it…..if it isn’t there cool too….

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
11:36 am

Behaviors that freak me out when I first meet a dude:

1. He appears a decade behind, unlike no child left behind this is different and a creepier version. If dude is behind on technology, keeps talking about something is located next to The Purple Onion I know he was down yonder for bit and don’t want to tell me.

2. He calls me and calls me and did I say call me like he is crazy demanding time and attention. I feel like he is either (a) Ted Bundy’s cousin, uncle, sister’s brother nephew or (b) just crazy for no reason and having him in my life will be drama.

3. Ahhhhh the one that rushes into a relationship and talks about marriage in the first five minutes on the conversation he states, “Hey no games or gimmicks here I am looking for my wife.” Next dude proceeds with the personal stuff “are you a virgin…when was the last time you had sex…how much do you make…do you sleep naked…where do you stay…do you cook? :shock:

4. Now this is my favorite the one that feels like he knows you after five minutes and proceeds to give advice and stuff. Also this type of dude gives out a controlling vibe as well…he talks about what his woman will and will not do. How he is the man, beating his chest and stuff.

5. The “rich guy” that lives with his momma and pretends it is his house, but he is helping his mama out. Guess what it is really a first encounter, so I really don’t care until the climax build after two conversations and he mentions…I can move over there with you and help you out. :shock: He is not aware where “over there” is because I gave out a fake address and/or told him I stay at my rental property.

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
11:37 am

@Lady
you aight on this Monday morning? LOL.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:38 am

@DK!!

see,my interpretation of ur 11.26 is that when u vibing and feeling each other,nothing can come ‘tween u two luvbirds! :lol:

It takes somebody removed to untangle and understand whats making that glue stick!

:lol:

Thirst is not really a negative,coz it takes thirst to accept somebody within ur space.Either there is games manship in the expression of desire(non acknowledgement of existing thirst) or there is no games manship!

:lol:

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
11:39 am

*Ahhhhh the one that rushes into a relationship and talks about marriage in the first five minutes on the conversation he states, “Hey no games or gimmicks here I am looking for my wife.”*

what’s wrong with that??? i like it! cause i don’t date to date.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:41 am

chica all is well do I seem not to be??? LOL

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
11:42 am

Now Beautiful

what’s wrong with that???

the only thing wrong is where you decided to use copy/paste at :grin:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:42 am

Melo – it wasnt even about luvbirds.. I just enjoyed talking to the chick.. So I kept talking to her and she kept talking to me.. See it has to be a two way street.. Im only gonna call you two times if I get the Im gonna call you back. Im gonna let you call me back.. Its simple..

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
11:43 am

A pretending it’s his house story.

One of my gfs found out that a married friend of her fiance had a key to his apartment. When she asked why, he told that it was because sometimes MarriedDude would bring girls to the apartment when he wasn’t there.

Needless to say, my gf was not happy about that. And told dude to get the key back. Well, after a few times of asking for the key and MarriedDude continually saying that he *forgot* to bring it with him, my gf’s fiance had his locks changed and didn’t bother to tell MarriedDude.

Fast forward to this past Saturday, my gf and her fiance are in bed at 3am when he gets a text message from MarriedDude asking him if he was home. His response “No.” He didn’t say a damn thing about changing the locks.

Now, can you imagine how it went down when MarriedDude brings this chick to *his* apartment at 3am and his key doesn’t work?

OMG – I would have loved to be a fly on *that* wall.

BlackMagicWoman

April 26th, 2010
11:48 am

WISE…enjoy NOLA. Might I suggest a very large Hurricane from Fat Tuesdays and karaoke on Bourbon St. If you are a party starter such as my crew and I…you will get free drinks from there on! That is how we got it started for Mardi Gras. :lol:

On topic…I am all for the exchange if I am interested. This new guys I met….he took my number and then dialed me and I saved it. They next day I received a text. But I would have text him first. I don’t think that whole bait and wait game is necessary. From what I have been told some guys like it if you take the initiative because that spares their ego if you are not interested. But I could be wrong.

mqew

April 26th, 2010
11:49 am

My mama advised, if you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say nothing at all….

So….. SMDH

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:49 am

oh my sexycool lolololol too funny!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:52 am

Professor funny list!

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:54 am

Carlito is getting married tonite in Vegas uall.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:55 am

Melo – What the feezy??!!! Carlito doing what?

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
11:56 am

I guess Julia must have been reading on Friday after all.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:57 am

@DK

he send me an email to say he proposed,she accepted and they are getting married tonite.They are shopping for the ring today!

They are in Vegas as we speak.

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
11:58 am

Yep he is getting married on his horse :grin:

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:59 am

Thats the email!

Hey man, I am happy as a lark :) She said “yes” Saturday evening. We are in Vegas got here last night and getting married tonight, we are heading out to find her ring now. :) I will be back in Georgia Wednesday, she will be moving down mid may :) You are the one I am closest to on the blog, so I thought I would share with you :)

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:59 am

awwwwww congrats to them!!!!!!!!!

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
12:00 pm

That is excellent news Congrats to Carlito and Julia, raising my glass and wishing you two nothing but the best!!!!!:gin:!!!!!!

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
12:01 pm

@Prof
letting your intentions be known up front . . . ummm yea! don’t you want to know what you gettin’ into? why would that scare you off? that way you wouldn’t waste his time going on a 2nd date. jus sayin’

Randyt (I will drop some pounds before aI walk that much again)

April 26th, 2010
12:05 pm

Prof:

re: 3. Ahhhhh the one that rushes into a relationship and talks about marriage in the first five minutes on the conversation he states, “Hey no games or gimmicks here I am looking for my wife.” Next dude proceeds with the personal stuff “are you a virgin…when was the last time you had sex…how much do you make…do you sleep naked…where do you stay…do you cook?

Most males have an agenda, and dating just to enjoy your smile and conversation and nothing more isn’t one of them. Most males want 1) sex, 2) a relationship, 3) thru 8) are NOT I want a female friend to spend money on and get nothing back while she ends up with the hunk in the corner who did not drop a dime on her while I went home with a lighter wallet and alone.

So, how DOES a male convey that he isn’t taking you out becauae he wants a friend to spend money on? Honest question really.

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
12:07 pm

Hey Beautiful!

I see it like this (hence the reason I said the copy/paste) it is one thing to say your intentions, but it is another thing to follow up with the rest of the crap I listed. If someone is true, why all the other crazy questions?

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
12:07 pm

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
12:07 pm

Dan

April 26th, 2010
12:08 pm

Agreed with DK’s 11:26

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
12:09 pm

@Prof
you numbered yo sh*t! and i picked the one i didn’t like. or didn’t agree wit.

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
12:10 pm

Congratulations to Carlito and Julia!!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
12:10 pm

Prof – what do you mean? Im letting my intentions be known and it would be less than appropriate to let them go unrequited.. I am telling you that this is what it is and this is what you need so get with this Pimping.. Anna Mae is Said I like ya now dont make me angry cause you wouldnt like me when Im angry..

Dan

April 26th, 2010
12:13 pm

@Raaaaaaandy

State it honestly. The truth hurts but, “I’m still deciding what I want here” is not as bad as it sounds (if asked). It quite often leads to a mutual discussion of life and relationship goals.

Otherwise, if I’m really feeling her the “what’s up with making me and you, just me and just you?”

DAN – straight, no chaser

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
12:15 pm

So, how DOES a male convey that he isn’t taking you out becauae he wants a friend to spend money on? Honest question really.

Randyt IMO and I will not speak for all women just me. If a man is interested he should say I am interested in getting to know you better. Getting to know me is important. When a man convey all of that sexual talk he appears he is out for a smash and grab so he can get moving. If he is really looking to possibly build a relationship he should just say something like, “so far I really like you and would like to continue seeing you.” Also the little things count…small gifts or dates centered around my interest shows he is listening. To me there is nothing like a nice hug and a soft kiss on the cheek of lips to show as well All of that freaky talk the first few minutes, hours or days is a turnoff. Oh yea it reminds me of this dude that played like he was injured and told me he would feel a lot better if he got some good sex in :shock: we had only known each other briefly. IMO that was just lame.

Dan

April 26th, 2010
12:15 pm

Congrats to the happy couple(s)!!!

lurker

April 26th, 2010
12:18 pm

Well, I can’t say I’m always a cheerleader but imma have to say it today….that 11:26 and 11:31 combined is the formula. Now, if we would get that bottled and pantented I believe that approach would drill down signanficantly on the BS and at least attain a 70% success rate.

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
12:20 pm

@Beautiful you pulled info out of context which changed the meaning of what I wrote. So duh :???:

@DK…what I mean is simple, hence the title behaviors that freak me out. So if a dude does certain things I AM feel awkard or see those things as a red flag. Now you know I don’t speak for all women so someone else might like it, but I don’t like being on the phone with someone bring up s-e-x in the first two minutes like he is in the middle of a wet dream.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
12:22 pm

Prof – Sarcasm.. That was my attempt at it.. Maybe it wasnt that good..

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 26th, 2010
12:22 pm

@Prof
pls stop! one has nut’n to do with the other and you know it. whatever!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
12:24 pm

Lurker Agree!