accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Misadventures in New Orleans

Hello everyone! I’m “blogging on location” from the wonderful city of New Orleans.  I’ve been here since Saturday to attend the weekend bachelorette activities of a fabulous bride-to-be.  We descended upon the Big Easy during the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  It’s been great friends, food, and the best music in the world!

As I was trekking through Hartsfield-Jackson, a very handsome guy was noticing me. I noticed him noticing me and then I noticed him right back.  He ended up escorting me all the way to my gate (gentleman?) and then he asked me to take his number down.  I joked that I didn’t want to risk forgetting that I met him since I was headed to a weekend of debauchery.  He took mine and minutes later, he sends a text giving me his phone number.

Alright so, when men ask women to do the calling, is this a new twist to even the playing field of dating? Am I expected to call him when I get back? I actually don’t mind calling but I found it strange that he was so adamant about me calling him. I am so not a rules kind of girl, I just do what feels right.  In this situation, the right thing to do is call him if he crosses my mind.  If I don’t hear from him, I will make a phone call, and then wait.  *sigh* Dating gets complicated for no good reason sometimes.

Guys, what do you prefer with number swap and first contact?  When you are interested, does it matter who does the calling and when?  Are women offended when you ask them to call you instead of vice versa?

Should I let the guy lead the contact and interest or do I put in effort and wait for reciprocation?  What works best for you?

349 comments Add your comment

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
10:10 am

Actually its called by choice and not by force..

Oh and Ovie told me to tell you.. Back then they didnt know me, now Im hot they all on me.. Ha Ha!!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:10 am

Not to mention the ones that sit on standby for years<——————–Professor the chic standing will be singing the song by Vesta CONGRAGULATIONS LMBAO—-Real Talk! HA!

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
10:11 am

M Dot…what if she’s interested and still wants you to call her?

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
10:12 am

“The way I handle the phone number situation is to give her my number and tell her when to call me.”

If some dude I just met gave me an appointment time for a phone call, I’d probably assume that he could only talk on the phone after his wife left for work.

Run4life

April 26th, 2010
10:18 am

@Ared

I told one of the guys we could be friends, hang out sometime, talk on the phone, etc., but there would be no benefits. LLOL. I do occassionally date other guys, but none of them are serious enough to even mention to him. And I don’t have strings attached where I can’t date on a Saturday night.

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
10:19 am

Oh and Ovie told me to tell you.. Back then they didnt know me, now Im hot they all on me.. Ha Ha!!

Still don’t know em. Don’t care either. ;)

Leggs

April 26th, 2010
10:20 am

Good morning!!

@Run4Life ~ you did the right thing. She that’s why men believe they have so many options. Some women would try to “outdate” his current gf giving him power and an even bigger ego since at least one knowingly knows about the other. You did right – K.I.M!!!

If both parties exchanged numbers it really doesn’t matter who calls first. However, it’s weird for someone to designate a time for me to call. I may in the latrine at that time. Why can’t I call when I have you on my mind? Your designated time more than likely will “deflate” my desire to call.

mqew

April 26th, 2010
10:20 am

Why is the blog eating my post so early, I haven’t even began cursing as yet :lol:

WISE – You gotta walk around with a daiquiri for me. I love they can do that there! :lol:

InfamousDK – I agree, If she’s interested she’ll call. Period. I’ve NEVER felt comfortable giving my number out. I don’t see the angst against taking his number…

ACTUALLY – That’s how I met minzes… He slipped me his number and said in my ear, “Call me if you’re interested.” That was the first for me, and I like…

Hey – I still call him KSMOOTH :lol: :lol: :lol:

I met my

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
10:23 am

Hey as long as I present it right and dont tell her to “Get at me Dawg”.. I dont see the big deal..

Call me or I call you as long as we connect its all good.. Just because she calls me Im not gonna look at her like she’s anything but a Babe that called me..

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
10:24 am

@Amazon

Thats cool then. I will give her a call but definately would wait a couple of days. Cant look thirsty lol.

@Run4life

I saw your msg about guys trying to win over women who are already in a relationship…Thats a wrong move. You never romance the next man’s woman. That’s what the bf is there for. Its not my job to try to take her out, impress her and do stuff that the bf is doing.

Alot of times, women in relationships try to act single because they have been with a guy for a while and its getting stale, he is “couch dating” her now and not taking her out or doing anything different with her…Thats why some women like to say they like to be spoiled. Translation, I already have a guy doing everything else, but not really taking me out etc like he used to, so thats what you will be doing. Wake up guys!

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
10:24 am

I agree, If she’s interested she’ll call. Period. I’ve NEVER felt comfortable giving my number

mqew – So if you’ve never felt comfortable giving the number out, you can probably understand the girl who’s never felt comfortable calling a guy.

Just because I chose not to give the first call doesn’t mean the interest isn’t there.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
10:25 am

Good morning folks!

Happy birthday Neesha!

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
10:25 am

Thats cool then. I will give her a call but definately would wait a couple of days. Cant look thirsty lol.

:lol: She can’t blame you for that either. Once that ball is in your court it’s up to you to decide when (or if) you’ll return it!

Wise Diva

April 26th, 2010
10:27 am

some great advice! I could tell the guy, although younger *cough* was slick. I will see how things unfold. He was pretty hot, so you know he is used to women chasing him *eyeroll* , but I’m used to men pursuing ME too. Will there be a battle of the egos?

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
10:28 am

M. is out there setting up interviews. lol

“Here’s my card. Call me at 10am, and be sure to have 5 copies of your Dating CV handy. Be prepared to answer any questions related to the experiences contained therein. Oh and by the way, the first conversation will be with my HR Representative (aka Mom). If she determines that you are a good fit for me, then you will move to the second round of conversations with a panel of my associates (aka homeboys). They will evaluate your performance and make a recommendation directly to me, at which time I will call you if I see fit and am in a good mood.”

Wise Diva

April 26th, 2010
10:29 am

LOL @ mqew, I will try to get a daiquri in and do a drank stroll! I’m having a serious love affair with Hurricanes, but I will tear myself away for a really chick drink LOL!

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:29 am

anyone been to WWD yet??? how is it coming along??? want to maximize my mommy free days this week…..speed dating is going on wed too……guess since this is the year of doing 1st I may need to add it to the list…..lol

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
10:29 am

“would wait a couple of days. Cant look thirsty lol.”

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids – so are games like that.

Mdot – we all grown. If you’re interested in and excited about meeting a lady, nothing wrong with letting her know. In the few days that you’ve been “not looking thirsty”, someone else could have stepped up their pursuit and you may miss out on an opportunity.

Wise Diva

April 26th, 2010
10:29 am

ahh Dating CVs, blog topic alert! *pulls out pen*

AmazonRed™

April 26th, 2010
10:30 am

He was pretty hot, so you know he is used to women chasing him *eyeroll* , but I’m used to men pursuing ME too. Will there be a battle of the egos?

Wise – I prefer, battle of the principles. :lol: But since you stated that you don’t usually mind calling, I guess it is egos. lol

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:31 am

Battle of the egos is a great way to sum it up Wisey!!!!!!!! LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
10:33 am

LAdy J – Where Westend Winn Dixie..

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:33 am

sexycool I was thinking that too just call vice versa it ain’t that serious…..lol if there are response cool if not keep it moving…..

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:35 am

Wednesday Wind Down NUT!!!!!! LMBAO I haven’t been to Winn Dixie since SC!!!!!!! Who knew it was a Food Lion on the back roads going to Fayetteville lol

Dan

April 26th, 2010
10:35 am

@Wise

Take it for what it is.

If he’s “hot” enough that you think women would be after him, understand what that means in terms of him being after you. You in there like swimwear.

@mqew/Ared (nice stories BTW ladies and congrats)

There’s the distinction that you ladies are indicative of, one wants to be chased, the other is not comfortable giving out certain information. That’s what guys go through. So in context, a guy offering a number is trying to toe that line.

It doesn’t even require the rush to judgment about motives, the direction of the (possible) relationship, etc. It may be as simple as extending a courtesy for the comfort of the woman.

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
10:38 am

@SCool

I was saying thirsty in the standpoint of looking desperate. You dont want to look desperate. Its a turn off.

@DreamsMaterialize

LOL I am speaking from a standpoint of letting her choose you. Women get guys approaching them 24/7/365. If she is interested she will call you. Think how you look blowing up a woman’s phone who you just met and dont know from a can a paint? You look desperate!

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
10:38 am

ahh Dating CVs, blog topic alert! *pulls out pen*
Awwww shoot, did I just contribute to a possible blog topic? Wait, let me not get hyped up…it must just be the hurricanes talking. ;-)

JtJ

April 26th, 2010
10:40 am

Morning All,

This is where dating is made to soooo complicated when it doesn’t have to be. The fact that he was on your mind for even a few minutes after meeting him says there is some potential there. Go ahead & call him!!! What’s the worse than can happen???? Rules..smules…let go and do you!!

JtJ

April 26th, 2010
10:40 am

Morning All,

This is where dating is made to soooo complicated when it doesn’t have to be. The fact that he was on your mind for even a few minutes after meeting him says there is some potential there. Go ahead & call him!!! What’s the worse than can happen???? Rules..smules…let go and do you!!

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
10:41 am

I don’t want to be chased, but I do want to be courted.

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:45 am

taditional vs non-traditional

conventional vs unconventional

tisk, tisk

Compatibility is key…..

mqew

April 26th, 2010
10:45 am

Ared – No, I don’t understand a grown ass woman in this day and age feeling uncomfortable calling a guy. Don’t really get that one….

Mdot – Yeah I’m not feeling the appointment times. You’d get the GTFOH face for that one… or just the one raised eyebrow for that one :-|

WISE – Get a shot of Everclear, ain’t shyt girlie about that :lol:

SCool – Trix are definitely for Mdot, er I mean KIDS – If I’m intrested, I’ll call! No standard on the time lapse time frame :-| I ain’t 17yrs old.

East Point's Own

April 26th, 2010
10:48 am

And the difference in chasing and courting is what???
http://hispointofview.com

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
10:52 am

I knew someone would ask that question.

You only have to chase something that is running from you. I am not running.

However, I do expect and appreciate a certain level of effort from you to let me know that you are interested past a passing fancy or something that’s purely physical.

Melo

April 26th, 2010
10:53 am

And the difference in chasing and courting is what???

EPO??

No difference!

chasing is hood speak, courting is up town speak! :lol:

mqew

April 26th, 2010
10:53 am

WISE – In the end, what JtJ said – What’s the worse that could happen :-)

MDot -Think how you look blowing up a woman’s phone who you just met and dont know from a can a paint? You look desperate! <—————-Not desperate, but unstable.

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 26th, 2010
10:53 am

@mqew

Nobody is playing trix or anything and there arent any kids over here :) I just realize that everyone is an adult and we dont have time to play phone games with people. If she is interested she will call.

@ Ladies

How would you feel if you just met a guy gave him your number then an hour later, he calling you and blowing up your phone like Laverne and Shirley?

Be honest…

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
10:54 am

Lady J,

You are right compatibility is the key!

What’s for lunch…this morning I just sampled food I am not going to call it breakfast, and now I am hungry. I have an uncrustable PB&J sandwich (those of you with kids or big kids themselves know what I’m talking about) that I want to eat, but it is still early. :cry:

DreamsMaterialize

April 26th, 2010
10:56 am

If she is interested she will call.
Why did I immediately think of Field of Dreams when I read this? “If you build it, they will come.” lol

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:57 am

However, I do expect and appreciate a certain level of effort from you to let me know that you are interested past a passing fancy or something that’s purely physical.<————Amen!

With that someone tweeted this "If a person like you, They’ll ALWAYS, if they don't GIVE UP……..(and I am not referring to I am busy stuff bc we all are busy, but after the #s have been exchanged communication from both parties should take place if the interest sustains…..I think…..

CoolShadow

April 26th, 2010
10:57 am

@WiseDiva

You’re extrapolating too much from a simple encounter based on your version. He is chasing you by virtue of the fact that he approached you (I’m assuming) and escorted you to your gate. He gave you his number to show his interest and put you at ease since you don’t know him. If you’re interested, call him and see where it flows; you’ll know where things stand after a conversation/date or two. I’m sure the drama sensitivity meter will be calibrated and in effect…

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:59 am

Professor I am trying to plot of a way with not attending a 2:30 meeting…….geesh…..lunch is left over chicken and mash potatoes…….sigh! LOL

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
10:59 am

Cool Shadow sounds like a plan! LOL Good Post!

Melo

April 26th, 2010
11:00 am

On topic!

chics calling first is usually an age thing and thirsty move too!

chics under 30 dont call guys first,for the most part.They have the world and men eating from their hands,so to speak.So the guys do the chasing for the most part.

Females over 30?? more of the calling and chasing,so to speak coz the trimmings are getting thinner and thinner. They call it a mature move coz they are mature women! Thats a euphamism really coz there is thirst in there somewhere as well altho others are really now more in tune with their sexuality and needs! So they will call and express themselves more coz they understand the itchiness of cobwebness! :lol:

So go ‘head WD,do ur thang coz at 37,u snooze on the fine guy,u loose and the cobwebs are on u! :lol: :lol:

Good morning!

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
11:02 am

Uuuummm…let’s see.

Scenario #1 – Met this really nice guy out last night while I was hanging with my girls. He called today and asked me out for a latte date on tomorrow.
(Normal)

Scenario #2 – Met this really attractive dude at the gas station this morning. He pumped my gas for me. I gave him my number. He texted at noon. Called and left a vm at 1213p. Called back and hung up on my vm at 1223p, 1240p, 1256p, 108p, 127p and again at 135p. Now he mad.
(Crazy, deranged, lunatic – now I got to change my phone number cause this nut didn’t take his meds today.)

Professor...

April 26th, 2010
11:04 am

How would you feel if you just met a guy gave him your number then an hour later, he calling you and blowing up your phone like Laverne and Shirley?

M. That happened to me once and it was very awkard and scary.

SexyCool - Cloud Status - 9+++

April 26th, 2010
11:08 am

Mdot – for the record, I didn’t say that you should blow someone’s phone up. I just think it’s rather juvenile to wait two or three days just for the sake of waiting two or three days.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA LEROY LOVING

April 26th, 2010
11:16 am

Im gonna call when I can.. It depends on the convo.. If we were having an excellent convo then I might call you as soon as I left you to finish up or I might call you the next day.. Whatever works for you do.. Flip flop and I talked 30 mins after meeting and guess what.. She called me.. I didnt think she was thirsty or anything.. We wouldve kept talking where we were but we had to go.. So we picked up where we left off from when we were talking..

Lady J-Diamond in da Rough-PrincessCut & Radiant;Never have to front....

April 26th, 2010
11:17 am

“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”

Wise Diva

April 26th, 2010
11:20 am

Cool Shadow, yeah..possibly I am, I’ve never had a dude insist on handing me his digits for first contact though, was curious to see how others have handled that. Definitely wanted a male’s perspective on it, so thanks :)