Reaction to the ‘Nightline’ debate on successful black women’s romantic woes
Sherri Shepard (left) and VH1 star Jacque Reid represented for the ladies on ABC ‘Nightlline: Face-Off” debate, ‘Why can't a successful black woman find a man?’, It was taped earlier this month (April 2010) in Decatur, Ga (ABC/Guy D'Alema)
I hoped you watched ABC’s Nightline last night! I always find it fascinating how much production goes into a piece that airs. Of course, they have to edit a great deal but I think they highlighted the key points of the discussion! The debate that aired last night hit on a couple of interesting points.
I recall Hill Harper saying that 95% of professional women want the top 5% of men who they see as their counterparts. I have my oh so brilliant Love Squad on deck to answer our own face-off questions:
Is it a misconception that Atlanta women are looking for highly educated, successful men? Or is there a grain of truth to this? Considering the many single professional black women I know and meet in the city, I honestly can not think of many that only date corporate/executive, pro ball players. What do you think?
Bren Herrera, 30, Atlanta. Education: Post-Graduate. Industry: Entertainment
“I’ve seen a plethora of women that seek that prototypical man–the baller, the pro player, the actor, singer, etc… I’ve had conversations with these “tangibly” driven women. Sherri underscored this point, from the other side when she mentioned the man at Home Depot whom didn’t call her back because she was on TV–he didn’t want to deal with the things he perceived come along with the entertainment personalities. As a woman, I feel her on that. At the end of the day, I’ll subscribe to the cliché: I just want a good man. A man that I can first trust at ALL times, not just when he’s behaving well. A man that extends himself, is open to learning new things and is willing to compromise. A man that goes to God for answers and not his single boys that can potentially lead him in the wrong direction (because we all know men are just as vulnerable as women are!)
Craig T. Taylor, 34. Sandy Springs, GA. Occupation: Founder and Editorial Director of Indakno.com, LLC.
Women should not be looking for a man. That is where they fail. Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22. Just make yourself available as a woman and the right man will find you. Position is relative. I think women just generally want a “good man”. Loyal, honest, respectful, responsible, passionate, and loves God. What else can you ask for in a “good man”. If a man has these traits, it does not matter if he is making 25k or 125k. He will always be doing the BEST that he can and trying to do better. Any person that is looking for someone to match them equally is looking for a boring relationship and may as well be with themselves. It does not take two corporate executives to have a successful relationship. It takes two people who love, respect, and has an undeniable passion about each other to make it work.
Dr. Tartt responds to my Love Squad question: Do you believe there are special hurdles Atlanta professionals face in finding a partner?
Your turn to weigh in my insightful readers: Professional Atlanta singles certainly enjoy the good life, but have we lost sight of what is truly important like family, raising healthy children, and building good relationships?
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925 comments Add your comment
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
10:52 am
Kym you are silly!
Question?
April 22nd, 2010
10:52 am
Were there any professional relationship counselors on Nightline last night? No offense, but taking dating advice from Steve Harvey is like asking Jerry Springer for family counseling. An entertainer does not make an expert just because they have a public platform. I’ll look for Steve Harvey when I need advice on telling jokes.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
10:52 am
Here’s a story,
Of a lovely lady,
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold,
Like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.
Here’s a story,
Of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own.
They were four men,
Living all together, but they were all alone-.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,
and they knew they was much more than a hunch.
That this group,
Must somehow form a family.
That’s the way we became the Brady Bunch,
The Brady Bunch-.
That’s the way- we became the Brady Bunch
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
10:53 am
The Facts of Life
You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have the facts of life.
The facts of life.
There’s a time you gotta go and show
You’re growin’ now,
You know about the facts of life.
The facts of life.
When the world never seems,
To be living up to your dreams.
And suddenly you’re finding out,
The facts of life are all about you.
All about you.
You-u-u-u,
A-ll about you.
It takes a lot to get em right,
But you’re learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of li-fe.
——————————————————————————–
Melo
April 22nd, 2010
10:53 am
New to this??
so u advising black females to wear wedding bands to attract dates??
Is that right??
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
10:53 am
PrincessNik, I see you over there
Kym, I want to play. Can you ad the show “Taxi” or “Welcome back Kotter” to your game? If so you are good.
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
10:54 am
Question?
^5
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2010
10:55 am
If we could just learn to love and appreciate ourselves and thank God for what we do have – family, friends, work – whatever, we might not feel so alone and left out because we don’t have a man. Yes, we all want a good man in our lives, but if you don’t have one and can’t see to find one; lets not blame ourselves or anyone else. Lets just be thankful for what we do have.
I’m with you fergie!
My mother didn’t marry until she was 28. And in the 70s that was old. She helped me realize that there is more to live, and that once you DO get married, you’ll have plenty of time to be a wife and mother! (she’s been married longer than she’s ever been single).
No rush…so get it right the first time!
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
10:55 am
Steve Harvey giving dating advice is worse than Ellen being on American Idol.
Kym--Happy Earth Day!!
April 22nd, 2010
10:55 am
Well thank you Steve Harvey for using your Hollywood voice to continue to bring to light the woes of black women..for your next trick will you be parting the Red Seas..or turning water into wine? foolishness!
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
10:55 am
The Jeffersons
We’re a movin’ on up,
(We’re a movin on up.)
To the east side.
(Mo-vin on up.)
To a de-luxe apartment,
In the sky-.
Mo-vin’ on up
(Mo-vin on up.)
To the east side,
(Mo-vin on up.)
We finally got a piece of the pie.
Fish don’t fry in the kitchen,
A beans don’t burn on the grill.
Took a whole lot of trying
Just to get up that hill.
Now we’re up in the big leagues,
Gettin our turn at bat.
As long as we live
It’s you and me baby.
There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
We’re a moving on up
(Mo-vin on up.)
To the east side,
(Mo-vin on up.)
To a de-luxe apartment
In the sky-.
Mo-vin on up
(Mo-vin on up.)
To the east side.
(Mo-vin on up.)
We finally got a piece of the pie-.
last one yall!!!!!! Now where is my george jefferson!!!!! LOL
Hey Carlito!!!!!! I am good….today is the last day of classes then I will have a 2 week break to revamp!!!! the final tonight is open book! I am good!
Laid Back White Guy
April 22nd, 2010
10:56 am
@ Professor/Kym
I love all those shows from the 70’s. Back then you could watch TV and learn a few family values. And the songs were great too!!
SexyCool
April 22nd, 2010
10:57 am
You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS.
There’s a time you gotta go and show
You’re growin’ now,
You know about RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS.
When the world never seems,
To be living up to your dreams.
And suddenly you’re finding out,
RELATIONSHIPS are all about you.
All about you.
You-u-u-u,
A-ll about you.
It takes a lot to get em right,
But you’re learnin RELATIONSHIPS.
D-squared
April 22nd, 2010
10:57 am
This topic can go on forever. There are so many varied and interesting perspectives. I totally agree with hotlanta. Black women need to stop regarding Steve Harvey as the expert on marriage and dating. He should be considered for entertainment purposes only. I dont think that its wrong to seek out someone of your own status or class. When you do that, you need to accept that youre options will be greatly limited. So stop complaining. Ladies, dont think that us guys have a cakewalk when it comes to relationships. Sure the sistas outnumber us by a great margin, but we too often have difficulty finding compatible partners. With Atlanta having such a large gay community, that throws another complication in the mix. We have to compete with males and females. It shouldnt be this hard for Black men and women to relate to each other. Good discussion.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
10:57 am
kym archie and george were the best!!!!!!
another all time fav for me is In the Heat of the night the series in sparta! I still watch it if I am home at 10am!
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2010
10:57 am
Simply put, this isn’t a race issue. If any race of people were facing these same conditions, they would have the same outcome.
Great point. There aren’t enough eligible men to go around…period. Doesn’t mean I’ll complain about it, or that I’ll worry about it. If marriage is meant for me, it will be, if not…I’ll continue to live life.
I focus on what I can control.
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
10:58 am
Now there are more whites in here today. Blacks now whites, I am tired of being discriminated against. LOL
Lady J, congrats on your break. What are you going to occupy your time with?
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
10:58 am
Kym/Professor/Lady J
Fred Sanford anyone LOL
Serious
April 22nd, 2010
10:59 am
Conversate…*shrug* *sigh* is not a word. When I hear anyone use that pseudo “word” I tend to walk the other way.
Kym--Happy Earth Day!!
April 22nd, 2010
10:59 am
@Carlito..I can link Taxi to Mork and Mindy..are you saying Taxi links to one of the other shows?
i'm swiss
April 22nd, 2010
10:59 am
“except when they do, as i did in my comment. some of us educated folks be code-switchin when we conversate. (see what i did there?)”
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
11:00 am
Well i was born midway 1979 so some of these shows I don’t remember LOL
Luvbug
April 22nd, 2010
11:00 am
Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he’s a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.
But they got, Diff’rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
ummm
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:00 am
Growing Pains
GrowingPains.ra
Show me that smile again.
Ooh show me that smile.
Don’t waste another minute on your crying.
We’re nowhere near the end.
We’re nowhere near.
The best is ready to begin.
As long as we got each other
We got the world
Sitting right in our hands.
Baby rain or shine;
All the time.
We got each other
Sharing the laughter and love.
just had to share!
Sexycool great job chica!
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
11:00 am
I am joining the KKK, The Black Panthers and the NAACP.
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
11:01 am
Kym, no I was just seeing if you could link them.
Melo
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
U know,smetimes in relationships, u have to
settle, immm, i mean, re prioritise..even,yeah settle and or compromise… whatever??Thats what makes a relationship work.If u keep to ur phulcking high horse and think what u want is what u always get…..guess what….??
u be looking,boyfriending,phlucking,getting benched and phuklcking but benching and looking for a damn looooooooong long time!
I aint even laughing tho…very serious!
Simple Man!!!
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2010
10:44 am
In a word….Yes!!! I have dated single moms, and have had some wonderful dates with them!! Some have been really cool and worthy of long term consideration but for whatever reason things did not work out. That is no reflectin on them; in fact some are what I would consider friends…
anonymousella
April 22nd, 2010
10:43 am
Oh yeah…I have baggage…But I don’t have drama! There is a huge differnce!!!!
SexyCool
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
Carlito – That was extremely tasteless and very UNfunny. Dude, check that.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
check my first post carlito my mood is where ever the wind blows……I am a bit scattered and random here lately so I am sorta down for whatever as I exhale! LOL probably in me bed watching reruns on the ID channel! LMBAO!
Professor
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
Lady J,
I have the Jefferson’s on DVD too…that George was something else.
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
I bet we been together for a million years,
And I bet we’ll be together for a million more.
Oh, It’s like I started breathing on the night we kissed,
And I can’t remember what I ever did before.
What would we do baby, Without Us?
What would we do baby, Without Us?
And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other through.
What would we do baby, Without Us?
Sha la la la.
Kym--Happy Earth Day!!
April 22nd, 2010
11:02 am
You betta sang Lady J..We moving on up!!!
Join in Carlito and Laid back welcome ….
Ohhh now..I feel a Fonzie moment coming on! Heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!
Living Life
April 22nd, 2010
11:03 am
Good Morning All.. Thanks @ Open Minded Male and White Engineering Guy for the insight. My father was in the military and I have always been around interracial dating and it has never bothered me. Never thought about dating outside my race until I got back on the dating scene and most guys want you to take care of them or just want one things. Who has time for those type of games. I rather a man be up front and honest in the begining. I fell like another blogger the right one will find me and not to go looking.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:03 am
yall the Carol Burnett show was off the chain too!!!!!! She know she killed the beer with her sharp toungue! Meant Mama’s Family but I like the carol show too!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
April 22nd, 2010
11:05 am
Dan – You cant raise a grown person.. She should already know how to patch up cuts way before she get to the heavy weight bout.. She aint gonna just walk off the street and be a cut man.. It requires a certain amount of skill..
And just for you..
I know way too many people here right now that I didn’t know last year
who the f-ck are y’all
I swear it feels like the last few nights we’ve been everywhere and back
but I just can’t remember it all
what am I doing, what am I doing
oh yeah thats right, I’m doing me, I’m doing me
I’m living life right now man
and this what I’m do til its over
til it’s over, it’s far from over
Had to hit you with it since you said do me..
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
11:05 am
SexyCool, the humor makes sense in my mind. Sorry if I offended you. You have 3 options, only one is correct. Just like this topic. You can focus on race, the problem with men/women or relationships in general.
abc
April 22nd, 2010
11:06 am
Carlito, I think Lynn meant to refer to something along the lines of Institutional Discrimination. Racism describes rationale behind actions that Discrimination represents. It’s a fine line that requires, uh… knowledge of English? Hm.
anonymousella, I think that to make up your own words is to invite misunderstanding. It may seem creative in a way, but the net impression made, especially when combined with intentional ebonics, is that of baby talk, i.e. one just simply hasn’t yet learned to speak properly. Practice proper English, it’s your native language — certainly, a higher education would serve to illustrate the need and importance of such in personal communication.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:06 am
You want to go where everybody knows your name.
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
(fade out)
I came to appreciate cheers later in life! good show!
yall I like fraiser and becker too and I think I would date both!!!! I love me some Fraiser!
Professor
April 22nd, 2010
11:07 am
Ohhh y’all are adding some really good ones. I want to go online and buy some DVDs and sit home and laugh at some of these old shows…thanks for the memories ladies
As for that comment by Carlito it does not surprise me since he has been testing the water for the past two weeks are so.
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
11:07 am
Lady J
That was Vicki Lawrence on Mama’s family i do believe, but i loved that show as well, too many folks in one house though LOL
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
11:07 am
The Benny Hill Show
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
11:08 am
oh yeah thats right, I’m doing me, I’m doing me
I’m living life right now man
and this what I’m do til its over
til it’s over, it’s far from over
@ DK, we are >>>>>here<<<<<
Kym--Happy Earth Day!!
April 22nd, 2010
11:09 am
dang it what show is that theme from…Princess..I want to say its the one with the Keatons..
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
April 22nd, 2010
11:10 am
Foreigner – Wow!
PrincessNik
April 22nd, 2010
11:10 am
@Kym
Family Ties
Alex P. Keaton LOL
Carlito
April 22nd, 2010
11:11 am
Professor, test the waters? I am sorry that I did not respond to all the stereotype jokes about Italians on here nor did I get upset when being referred to as a “guido” or white. And some of those jokes continue on a daily basis. As soon as I remotely say anything that could be close to any of that, I am the one in the wrong? How about being a little balanced in that? An injustice is an injustice.
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:11 am
Professor and Kym between Jackie O and Wheezy I briefly thought I was both @ one point in my life!!!!! I have a silly imagination….I guess just the idea of the types of lives they portrayed and not the materialistic part…….that other solid security that everything was just fine and taken care of….
Lady J-Streaming Live Now-Cool, Calm & Collected! LOL
April 22nd, 2010
11:12 am
thanks PK that hosehold was funny!
Dan
April 22nd, 2010
11:13 am
@DK
I wasn’t saying anything to you “preaching to the choir” but “the audience”, anyone that may hear it.
You’re right, you can’t raise an adult, nor should you. But I can show someone how to deal with me. I’m an individual. It takes different isht to be with me, as I’m sure it does to be with you. But if you can’t/don’t tell her that stuff, then how is she supposed to learn?
And, bear in mind, she’s already had some “life-lessons” well beyond dealing with you.
Bottom line, you can’t expect someone to do a job without giving the tools they need to do it. Some people (men/women) need a little extra guidance. If you wanna give it to ‘em, cool. If not, cool too.