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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Reaction to the ‘Nightline’ debate on successful black women’s romantic woes

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Sherri Shepard (left) and VH1 star Jacque Reid represented for the ladies on ABC ‘Nightlline: Face-Off” debate, ‘Why can't a successful black woman find a man?’, It was taped earlier this month (April 2010) in Decatur, Ga (ABC/Guy D'Alema)

I hoped you watched ABC’s Nightline last night! I always find it fascinating how much production goes into a piece that airs. Of course, they have to edit a great deal but I think they highlighted the key points of the discussion!  The debate that aired last night hit on a couple of interesting points.

I recall Hill Harper saying that 95% of professional women want the top 5% of men who they see as their counterparts.  I have my oh so brilliant Love Squad on deck to answer our own face-off questions:

Is it a misconception that Atlanta women are looking for highly educated, successful men?  Or is there a grain of truth to this? Considering the many single professional black women I know and meet in the city,  I honestly can not think of many that only date corporate/executive, pro ball players. What do you think?

Bren Herrera, 30, Atlanta. Education:  Post-Graduate.  Industry: Entertainment

“I’ve seen a plethora of women that seek that prototypical man–the baller, the pro player, the actor, singer, etc… I’ve had conversations with these “tangibly” driven women.  Sherri underscored this point, from the other side when she mentioned the man at Home Depot whom didn’t call her back because she was on TV–he didn’t want to deal with the things he perceived come along with the entertainment personalities. As a woman, I feel her on that. At the end of the day, I’ll subscribe to the cliché: I just want a good man. A man that I can first trust at ALL times, not just when he’s behaving well. A man that extends himself, is open to learning new things and is willing to compromise. A man that goes to God for answers and not his single boys that can potentially lead him in the wrong direction (because we all know men are just as vulnerable as women are!)

Craig T. Taylor, 34.  Sandy Springs, GA. Occupation: Founder and Editorial Director of Indakno.com, LLC.

Women should not be looking for a man.  That is where they fail.  Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22.  Just make yourself available as a woman and the right man will find you.  Position is relative. I think women just generally want a “good man”.  Loyal, honest, respectful, responsible, passionate, and loves God.  What else can you ask for in a “good man”.  If a man has these traits, it does not matter if he is making 25k or 125k.  He will always be doing the BEST that he can and trying to do better.  Any person that is looking for someone to match them equally is looking for a boring relationship and may as well be with themselves.  It does not take two corporate executives to have a successful relationship.  It takes two people who love, respect, and has an undeniable passion about each other to make it work.

Dr. Tartt responds to my Love Squad question: Do you believe there are special hurdles Atlanta professionals face in finding a partner?

Your turn to weigh in my insightful readers: Professional Atlanta singles certainly enjoy the good life, but have we lost sight of what is truly important like family, raising healthy children, and building good relationships?

925 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:21 pm

@ Carlito — DO IT, bro! Pop that question! It’s about time for another blog bachelor party anyway… ;-)

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:22 pm

Carlito, how old are you two now?

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:22 pm

Those lessons will also include a full demonstration of the Belly Button Test as well, naturally…

Go. AWAY!!! :arrow:

:lol:

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:22 pm

oh and whatever about the height!

@Luvbug??

how tall are u urself Luvbee??

(jus asking in case Queen starts acting up on the cooking??……….putting u on standby) :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:23 pm

SexyCool, the name of my chapter in the book will be “Why He Do Dat?”

Why does he leave the empty juice bottle in the fridge?

:lol:

DreamsMaterialize

April 22nd, 2010
3:23 pm

Yeah, you’ve posted something similar a few times…
Ok I don’t usually do this, but…disregard all the things I said about that. lol Let’s get this money!

We could write a book and tour the country doing relationship panels for crazy appeaance fees.
kinda like Sarah Palin. $100k for every appearance. I like the way you’re thinking. You can charge a la carte for your Three Words Daily. lol

I could definitely use some right about now.
Well you need to get with this book scheme entrepreneurial endeavor then.

Steven Q. Stanley

April 22nd, 2010
3:23 pm

Plenty of black hotties at my office that I would love to tap that. All of them are engaged or married though. Attractive black professional women have no problem landing men. Same goes for white, Asian, etc. If you are a fatty no one is going to want you.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:23 pm

Raqi, I am 37 she is 36.

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:25 pm

I have the perfect title:

What The F@#$ Do We Know?!?

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:25 pm

Those lessons will also include a full demonstration

Gouda, your chapter will come after TheMarido and Mine that offer instructions of “How to remove the panties using only your mouth”.

And before the one that details “Givin’ Him Something He Can Feel”.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:25 pm

Swiss, I probably will. She is not going anywhere. I am so real with her, we are best friends.

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:26 pm

I am 37 she is 36

Carlito, what are you waiting on?

SexyCool

April 22nd, 2010
3:26 pm

My chapter – Patience, Grasshopper – because I should certainly be able to speak on it for as much of an exercise I have been getting in it lately.

My other chapter – Growth Opportunities – which is how I try to positively view the process of navigating past relationship bumps in the road.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:26 pm

I want to write the chapter on PJ

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
3:26 pm

(jus asking in case Queen starts acting up on the cooking??……….putting u on standby)

Now experiencing compulsive croaking…you know how to make me laugh though. I’ll give you that.

5′2

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:27 pm

Raqi, I was totally against marriage. For stupid reasons. I know, I just think it is to soon. Maybe in the month of May. LOL

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:29 pm

SexyCool, the name of the book will be “It Ain’t Easy, But It Is Surely Damn Worth It”.

Then we all tell our stories.

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:30 pm

Raqi – I don’t think you were here when Carlito shared his story. In esssence, he was left at the altar. That’s a hard thing to get over indeed.

Gabrielle

April 22nd, 2010
3:30 pm

I enjoyed the show. I do agree being a divorced 51 year old woman, it’s a challenge trying to find a Black Man. I have come to believe that most men really do not know what they want in a relationship and most are not ready to commit. I have dated outside my race and trust me Caucasian, Latino men et… are no different. It seems like the older you get, the harder it is to find someone. I desire a man that wants to stroke my mind before he gets the behind, work with me ; not against me and a man without a plan is not a good sign. Some of us sisters are looking for a fairy tale man. I just want to be happy, if I never find that good man, well I have my GOD.

SexyCool

April 22nd, 2010
3:31 pm

I liked Cheese’s title better. LOL!

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:31 pm

@ Raqi — I like it… But don’t forget about my other chapter on International Relations: The World of Cl!t

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:31 pm

I would need to add an extra years worth of savings before I got married. My reserves are set for one person in a year I could have enough for two.

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:32 pm

LOL SexyCool. His is the sequel.

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:33 pm

On the MIA Luv tour??

My Melo chapter will be entitled:

Phlucking her so u leave Imprints that mark the Pudsy/Territory as Urs!

:lol: :lol:

@Luvbug??

If u come on board u will always leave the house rocking heels!

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:33 pm

Gouda, it will have to follow Chapter 7: “Riding High, Licking Low”.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:33 pm

Do not leave out my chapter on sucking the juice out of the panty.

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:35 pm

Carlito, you are messing it up. You’re needs a title. As disgusting as it is you can call it, “Cream of Cotton”. LOL

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:36 pm

@Carlito??

see 3.30 pm Gabrielle??

thats Leggs changed to a new monikker!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:36 pm

I do agree being a divorced 51 year old woman, it’s a challenge trying to find a Black Man.

Hey, you had your chance. No seconds in the marriage buffet til us singles get a turn! :lol:

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
3:37 pm

From croaking to passing out…too much Melo…too much indeed!!

Melo and Swiss’ chapters will have to be in the back of the book…and detachable…with a small lock and key included.

DreamsMaterialize

April 22nd, 2010
3:38 pm

I will volunteer to give licking lessons as part of the book tour, as well. I’m a team player, people
I’m envisioning sold out arenas nationwide.

have the perfect title:

What The F@#$ Do We Know?!?
Ha that’s perfect.

Can we also get kimmie on board to give 30 Minute Meals cooking lessons?

For Real can have a break out session on The Basics of Accountability.

Slim could distribute her dvd “The Numbers Game: An Optimization Strategy For Increasing The Maximum Likelihood of Finding a Mate”

And M dot can take us home with his stirring performance of “No More Civil Rights Jedi Mind Tricks”

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:38 pm

Dont forget SexxyCool’s chapter “PSH: Doing Right!”

:lol: :lol: :lol:

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:38 pm

CHAPTER 69: Melo’s Tale

“It was a murky dank nite in the steamy depths of the dark and wet mangroove swamp….”

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
3:40 pm

“PSH: Doing Right!”

CHAPTER 69

Stick a fork in me…I’m done.

Gabrielle

April 22nd, 2010
3:41 pm

You all are so immature, most of your comments have nothing to do with the topic in discussion. Oh my goodness…Grow Up.

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:41 pm

BlackMagic Woman’s chapter is:

Phlucking every nationality but never losing ur AA womanhood!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan

April 22nd, 2010
3:43 pm

Y’all stupid

PrincessNik

April 22nd, 2010
3:43 pm

Dont you eva eva eva eva eva let me hear you say turnt up again

this made me laugh out loud

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:44 pm

“BlackMagic Woman’s chapter is:

Phlucking every nationality but never losing ur AA womanhood!”

@ Melo — And don’t forget: Bringing Sexy Back… To Asthma Attacks

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
3:44 pm

Dreams – You are going to have to assign me something about the importance of a Tonsilectomy for good DT, and maybe even a sub-chapter on Phatty Catty. :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

April 22nd, 2010
3:45 pm

Gabrielle The first 7 pages (700 comments) pretty much exhausted every philisophical approach to the topic. Because you’re late, you’re only seeing the evolution/divergence of the topic into other topics, some unrelated.

Gabrielle

April 22nd, 2010
3:46 pm

What’s the age of most of the people commenting to this discussion…I’m sure they are below 23. See this is the problem, Black folks do not know how to talk to each other. We all need to learn how to communicate with each other to find those good men and women. Lord help us on our journeys.

PrincessNik

April 22nd, 2010
3:48 pm

I want a chapter :(

mytw♥cents

April 22nd, 2010
3:50 pm

GABRIELLE Thanks so much for sharing…that was a good read. Regretfully, you’ve missed the cut off for truly relevant and thought provoking commentary. Typically, Tom Foolery begins promptly around 11:45 a.m (although under Blog By-Laws it’s not “acceptable” until one minute after noon.)

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:51 pm

LOL @ “cream of cotton” :lol: :lol: :lol:

I’m so done at that.

Wise Diva

April 22nd, 2010
3:51 pm

Wow! Today’s discussion has been outstanding! I soo appreciate every one’s comments, good
stuff.

Shout out to my Love Squad! You rocked it :)

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:52 pm

Gabrielle, perhaps you should try lightening up for a moment. Kick off your shoes and relax. Perhaps some non uptight 50 year old black stallion is reading right now! :lol:

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
3:52 pm

Parched Pdssy Chapter :lol:

mytw♥cents

April 22nd, 2010
3:53 pm

PNIK They ain’t the boss of you! What floats your boat? What would you say you’ve conducted the most hands on research for? I must ponder my area of expertise.

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:53 pm

Princessnik Chapter:

Have a Baby by Me,Quit the Pill

:lol: :lol: :lol: