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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Reaction to the ‘Nightline’ debate on successful black women’s romantic woes

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Sherri Shepard (left) and VH1 star Jacque Reid represented for the ladies on ABC ‘Nightlline: Face-Off” debate, ‘Why can't a successful black woman find a man?’, It was taped earlier this month (April 2010) in Decatur, Ga (ABC/Guy D'Alema)

I hoped you watched ABC’s Nightline last night! I always find it fascinating how much production goes into a piece that airs. Of course, they have to edit a great deal but I think they highlighted the key points of the discussion!  The debate that aired last night hit on a couple of interesting points.

I recall Hill Harper saying that 95% of professional women want the top 5% of men who they see as their counterparts.  I have my oh so brilliant Love Squad on deck to answer our own face-off questions:

Is it a misconception that Atlanta women are looking for highly educated, successful men?  Or is there a grain of truth to this? Considering the many single professional black women I know and meet in the city,  I honestly can not think of many that only date corporate/executive, pro ball players. What do you think?

Bren Herrera, 30, Atlanta. Education:  Post-Graduate.  Industry: Entertainment

“I’ve seen a plethora of women that seek that prototypical man–the baller, the pro player, the actor, singer, etc… I’ve had conversations with these “tangibly” driven women.  Sherri underscored this point, from the other side when she mentioned the man at Home Depot whom didn’t call her back because she was on TV–he didn’t want to deal with the things he perceived come along with the entertainment personalities. As a woman, I feel her on that. At the end of the day, I’ll subscribe to the cliché: I just want a good man. A man that I can first trust at ALL times, not just when he’s behaving well. A man that extends himself, is open to learning new things and is willing to compromise. A man that goes to God for answers and not his single boys that can potentially lead him in the wrong direction (because we all know men are just as vulnerable as women are!)

Craig T. Taylor, 34.  Sandy Springs, GA. Occupation: Founder and Editorial Director of Indakno.com, LLC.

Women should not be looking for a man.  That is where they fail.  Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22.  Just make yourself available as a woman and the right man will find you.  Position is relative. I think women just generally want a “good man”.  Loyal, honest, respectful, responsible, passionate, and loves God.  What else can you ask for in a “good man”.  If a man has these traits, it does not matter if he is making 25k or 125k.  He will always be doing the BEST that he can and trying to do better.  Any person that is looking for someone to match them equally is looking for a boring relationship and may as well be with themselves.  It does not take two corporate executives to have a successful relationship.  It takes two people who love, respect, and has an undeniable passion about each other to make it work.

Dr. Tartt responds to my Love Squad question: Do you believe there are special hurdles Atlanta professionals face in finding a partner?

Your turn to weigh in my insightful readers: Professional Atlanta singles certainly enjoy the good life, but have we lost sight of what is truly important like family, raising healthy children, and building good relationships?

925 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:53 pm

yep dreamsM and I will purchase yours as well with a Texas Margarita on the side! HA!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
2:53 pm

From the outside looking in it just seems like these topics makes it seem like something is “wrong” with the AA woman. When in reality there is nothing wrong with AA women. The residual effect is, a man may see an AA woman from his impression as the right woman for him. BUT, these shows and books will make him think that he is missing her faults when in reality there is not a major fault there. So he misses out on a good woman due to the media “showing concern”

Lady J/ Kym- bring me back :)

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
2:53 pm

Melo – You’ve dated a poor girl/woman before?

@Luvbug?

All the women i ever dated except Queen came from as poor backgrounds as mine.

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
2:54 pm

“…watch a bunch of bitter folks beyotch”

That is my take on it….slam dunk!

@Raqi ~ I hear Death at a Funeral is hysterical. BlindSide was a good movie. That white woman had some hudtzpah (sp?)when she went to the “hood” getting all up in that man’s face!

I have Steve Harvey’s book and have yet to crack its spine!

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
2:54 pm

“We all do. We should publish a blog book.”

I’ve got dibs on being Melo’s ghost writer… I could have too much fun w/ that… :lol:

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
2:55 pm

Dreams – I think I remember you posting blogs were the worst…something about fools posting anything. LOL

You gonna be the honorary blog book screener?

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
2:55 pm

Melo – Yet she’s the one you married?

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
2:55 pm

Hey, does anyone know if Jill Scott and the good looking dude that plays her husband in “Why Did I…” are a couple in real life? I caught a glimpse of them on the Tyler Perry talk show that for some damn reason recorded on my DVR and he kept reaching over touching her hand. TP was joking about their great chemistry off screen and how well they meshed. She wasn’t saying too much but definitely wearing a happy grin. The guy however couldn’t hardly be still his chair grinning from ear to ear.

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
2:56 pm

from what u have heard of him or what he says,does he have a playa record,like Harvey or does he have regrets on women he let slip by back in the day??

I don’t think he has a playa record. I think he dated one certain girl on and off for years.

Most every black man I know over 30 who isn’t married has one “that got away” which is what I find really interesting. Most women I know don’t… including myself.

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:56 pm

raqi I heard TP and Janet are dating how true is that honey???

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:57 pm

and BTW the movie was over the top to say the least…..lol

Kym--Black Single Woman Outlaw...

April 22nd, 2010
2:57 pm

Sigh..I think Jill sums this whole thing up for me..this week in one song..

Don’t feel no pity for me Cause I’m going through a couple things,
Life means change, That’s the way it goes,goes
All my life I had a constant burning A strong deep,desire
An aching ambiguous,yearning,yearning, yearning

For something better For something bigger For something wider
For something higher And lots of regrets
Cause I ain’t seem to found it yet
I’ve been searching around the world
Never knowing what to expect I get sad sometimes Yes I be mad sometimes
Cause I’m out here on the grind
Making mine And I still can’t seem to find
What I’ve been looking for Opened so many doors
For real,yo I just wanna be loved…
I just wanna be loved
Like everybody else does
I just wanna be loved
I just wanna be loved

Logic

April 22nd, 2010
2:58 pm

@ Melo, the problem with those checks is if you base a relationship on those things instead of the key things that really mater FIRST than the relationship was doomed from the start. Think about it, regardless of how much money someone makes, how many degrees they have, what thier position is, etc., none of that matters if one person does not support the other or makes them feel inconsiquential. Could you really care what the other person does/is if first and foremost they negatively impact or influence you. Now not to say that as the relationship grows and develops those dont become key factors but in the beginning if people go through life with a checklist of what they dont want or already demand than they can never find out someone’s potential or who someone truly is because thier is already that mask/wall that has been placed initially. Now to each his own and if those are things that and individaul already knows is a must than so be it. I think that at the same time that person has already limited thier potential for seeking someone who may turn out compatible or not. Just my thoughts though….

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
2:58 pm

Raqi, 4 years together then 1.2 year break up, back together for almost 2 months now. Truth be told she is the best for me. End all be all woman in my world. Before we were in a relationship we were friends for many years

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:58 pm

Now that made my day Carlito too damn funny!!!!!! LMAO!

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:59 pm

Kym loves me some JILL SCOTT!!!!! June 12th I will be all da WAY TURNT UP!!!!!!!!! LOL a mix of bad habits and living my life like it is golden chile please! LOL

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:00 pm

LadyJ, TP and Janet would make a cute couple if TP wasn’t ghey. LOL

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:01 pm

we are >>>>>>HERE<<<<<<<!!!!!!!!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:01 pm

Lady J, what did I say?

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:02 pm

Uh AmazonRed there’s a poopy diaper waiting on you!!! Chop, chop, get to it. LOL

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:02 pm

Micheal Jai White and that sassy lady in the TP movies used to date in real life. Now they play a couple in the TP movies.

DreamsMaterialize

April 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm

I am giving up comedy and sticking to engineering.
What were you thinking? You know engineers aren’t known for their humor. lol

Lady J Every drink is half off with a purchase of the book. ;-)

I’ve got dibs on being Melo’s ghost writer… I could have too much fun w/ that… You have full creative license…you’ll need it. lol

I think I remember you posting blogs were the worst…something about fools posting anything. Dang that was a long time ago. You checkin for me? ;-) I did say that, but it’s a recession and I’m sure we could all use the extra dough. Besides, I think the bunch of us are more just as intelligent as any of those panelists. I’ll tell you what…I give everyone involved the authority to be the self-proclaimed expert of their choice. lol

White Engineer Guy

April 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm

Hello BlackMagicWoman

Her name was Marisol (first name was really Maria I think) and lived on Calle 13 in Santiago. Had a friend named Katty and cousin Niurka.

Unfortunately, the DR does have quite a reputation from some American and Canadian guys for part-time hookers; it’s all over the internet. And gold diggers, sankies, etc.

On the other hand, a good reputation in other ways, and plenty of nice girls looking for a good husband.

Mi me encanto musica bachata y bailando con una chica Dominicana bonita. Aye, mami! :)

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:03 pm

your opinion and I agree sir! HA!

Dan

April 22nd, 2010
3:04 pm

Jacque Reid is kinda fine; where she be at….

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:04 pm

Cool Beans DreamsM!!!!!!!1 LOL :)

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:05 pm

Uh AmazonRed there’s a poopy diaper waiting on you!!! Chop, chop, get to it. LOL

I told you lady, I only do the fun stuff! No poopy diapers for me!

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:05 pm

lol DreamsM cool!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:05 pm

Dreams, you have a valid point. LOL

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:06 pm

lol yall remember when the blog use to post 3 of the same post at a time……lol

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:06 pm


Raqi, 4 years together then 1.2 year break up, back together for almost 2 months now. Truth be told she is the best for me. End all be all woman in my world.

So when are you gonna give her the hardware?! Swiss is married, Tazzee will be in less than a month…we need another engagement here!

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
3:08 pm

and with that I am headed to take my final and embrace 2 weeks of freedom from argosy university!!!!!! I will not entertain murphy’s law this evening!!!!! Until in the morning yall be easy on the 1s and 2s!!!!! LOL Lame and Corny i know!

Good night!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:08 pm

AmazonRed, I think the blog altered your post.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:09 pm

Lady J, knock it out of the park!

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:09 pm

if you base a relationship on those things instead of the key things that really mater FIRST than the relationship was doomed from the start.

@Logic??

what are the Key things u refer to, that matter first? If u have them,then they wld be a check list,wont they??

I dont/didnt necesarrily have a checklist myself but i wanted someboy i cld watch a movie with,soccer etc and enjoy their company and be compatibility with.A str8 back and a reasonable height was important too..no shorties! Im 6,2 :lol:

@Luvbug??

Melo – Yet she’s the one you married?

Yes but i wasnt looking for a chick from a rich,monied or priviledged background. I was looking for smbody with a good head on her shlders,good instincts about lyfe,well spoken,good height and cld cook ( :lol: ) I never asked her about her fam in terms of the $$$ aspect. Unbeknown to me,she went outta her way to upgrade herself where she lacked coz smebody(she told me later) clued her in,”men from that region of the cntry will bump u if u cant do a, b, c) :lol:

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
3:09 pm

Dreams- LOL. Yeah, you’ve posted something similar a few times…but yeah I’m sure extra dough would make everybody’s day right about now.

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:12 pm

AmazonRed, I think the blog altered your post.

I was talking to you Carlito!

SexyCool

April 22nd, 2010
3:12 pm

We could write a book and tour the country doing relationship panels for crazy appeaance fees.

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:13 pm

A str8 back and a reasonable height was important too..no shorties! Im 6,2

Yeah! No shorties!!!

A straight back tho? WTF? :lol:

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:15 pm

I’m sure extra dough would make everybody’s day right about now

I could definitely use some right about now.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
3:16 pm

Lady J – Dont you eva eva eva eva eva let me hear you say turnt up again..

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:16 pm

“…but yeah I’m sure extra dough would make everybody’s day right about now.”

I will volunteer to give licking lessons as part of the book tour, as well. I’m a team player, people…

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:16 pm

AmazonRed, honestly. I was against marriage then I am for it. She knocks down all of my fears and I know I can trust her, something is different and new in this love. She looks good in my heart, my eyes on paper, family background and like I always said she loved me when I did not love myself. I know her family she knows mine. So with all of that being said, it was a big step for me to tell her I was wrong and my fears. I had to in order for us to get back together. We are only 2 months in and I am just happy, I mean really happy. Just happy, I wish I could elaborate more, but I am HAPPY! I do not want to lose her. I can see myself marrying her. I can see myself asking her this summer.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
3:19 pm

Lito – I do not want to lose her. I can see myself marrying her. I can see myself asking her this summer.

Hold on this might be a Bennie from the Bronx setup..

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
3:19 pm

We are only 2 months in

Bullshat! You are 4 years and 2 months in. :lol:

No pressure tho. I know it will happen if/when the time is right. I’m glad you’re so happy!

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
3:19 pm

Those lessons will also include a full demonstration of the Belly Button Test as well, naturally…

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
3:19 pm

Okay Melo. I’ll leave it there…oh and whatever about the height!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
3:20 pm

I mean I have no reason not to only good will come from it. I know she wants it.

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
3:20 pm

Lady J, knock him up to the ceiling!

:lol: :lol:

Raqi

April 22nd, 2010
3:21 pm

We could write a book

SexyCool, the name of my chapter in the book will be “Why He Do Dat?”

Why does he leave the empty juice bottle in the fridge?