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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Reaction to the ‘Nightline’ debate on successful black women’s romantic woes

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Sherri Shepard (left) and VH1 star Jacque Reid represented for the ladies on ABC ‘Nightlline: Face-Off” debate, ‘Why can't a successful black woman find a man?’, It was taped earlier this month (April 2010) in Decatur, Ga (ABC/Guy D'Alema)

I hoped you watched ABC’s Nightline last night! I always find it fascinating how much production goes into a piece that airs. Of course, they have to edit a great deal but I think they highlighted the key points of the discussion!  The debate that aired last night hit on a couple of interesting points.

I recall Hill Harper saying that 95% of professional women want the top 5% of men who they see as their counterparts.  I have my oh so brilliant Love Squad on deck to answer our own face-off questions:

Is it a misconception that Atlanta women are looking for highly educated, successful men?  Or is there a grain of truth to this? Considering the many single professional black women I know and meet in the city,  I honestly can not think of many that only date corporate/executive, pro ball players. What do you think?

Bren Herrera, 30, Atlanta. Education:  Post-Graduate.  Industry: Entertainment

“I’ve seen a plethora of women that seek that prototypical man–the baller, the pro player, the actor, singer, etc… I’ve had conversations with these “tangibly” driven women.  Sherri underscored this point, from the other side when she mentioned the man at Home Depot whom didn’t call her back because she was on TV–he didn’t want to deal with the things he perceived come along with the entertainment personalities. As a woman, I feel her on that. At the end of the day, I’ll subscribe to the cliché: I just want a good man. A man that I can first trust at ALL times, not just when he’s behaving well. A man that extends himself, is open to learning new things and is willing to compromise. A man that goes to God for answers and not his single boys that can potentially lead him in the wrong direction (because we all know men are just as vulnerable as women are!)

Craig T. Taylor, 34.  Sandy Springs, GA. Occupation: Founder and Editorial Director of Indakno.com, LLC.

Women should not be looking for a man.  That is where they fail.  Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22.  Just make yourself available as a woman and the right man will find you.  Position is relative. I think women just generally want a “good man”.  Loyal, honest, respectful, responsible, passionate, and loves God.  What else can you ask for in a “good man”.  If a man has these traits, it does not matter if he is making 25k or 125k.  He will always be doing the BEST that he can and trying to do better.  Any person that is looking for someone to match them equally is looking for a boring relationship and may as well be with themselves.  It does not take two corporate executives to have a successful relationship.  It takes two people who love, respect, and has an undeniable passion about each other to make it work.

Dr. Tartt responds to my Love Squad question: Do you believe there are special hurdles Atlanta professionals face in finding a partner?

Your turn to weigh in my insightful readers: Professional Atlanta singles certainly enjoy the good life, but have we lost sight of what is truly important like family, raising healthy children, and building good relationships?

925 comments Add your comment

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
1:40 pm

Leggs – Yep.. Thats the same nene..

Dan

April 22nd, 2010
1:41 pm

@Swiss

I would roll with a cat name A Pimp Named Slickback.

I most certainly would. For the entertainment value alone

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:41 pm

Why do people, switch to lurker status and ask questions and say things?

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
1:42 pm

Proff/DK

Last saturday at the stadia,NeNe was in front of Queen and I in line, as we went in for the Hawks game.

Boy,TV makes these heiffers look beautiful,dont it?? :lol:

I said to Queen,”thats NeNe’..she said “hw do u know??

I said ‘look under those dark shades she got,she got tough skin on her face and she rolls red blush on her pimplish cheeks like Dollar store is going outa bizzness”

Sure enough it was her :lol:

She cld have done better with some better jeans and lotion on
her long arms!

The chic she was with looked more like the celebrity than she looked…

House Hoes of Atlanta my Ass!! :lol:

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
1:42 pm

Lito – sup honey…yeah I see you just asked about me…been moving from the big office into a broom closet for that last few hours….so needless to say, not all that happy about it. (In walks co-worker asking if Slim can pass them some trash bags and paper towels)

SexyCool

April 22nd, 2010
1:42 pm

It’s cool, Dan. You weren’t going to get a gold star for getting it right anyway.

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
1:43 pm

Carlito beats me! LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
1:43 pm

Dreams M- That was my man Bob Ross on the Joy of Painting..

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:43 pm

The guy with the Afro was named Bob Ross, he died in 1995 :)

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
1:44 pm

but over 3 years of this it is nothing random about this blog per se…..it is what it is……

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
1:44 pm

OMG, I am in hysterics over here at you BMW. I think I remember you mentioning that a while ago. Too funny. You made my jaw hurt a little more cuz I actually LOL.

@Carlito ~ why you asking the judges for their approval now. You’ve been answering. Dance to your own beat, don’t ask nobody nuffin….:wink:

I wasn’t doing nuffin, probably why I’m locked up! I need some oil!

I’m cracking myself up!

Kym--Happy Earth Day!!

April 22nd, 2010
1:46 pm

Random Song..

Take a good look at it..Look at it now.. Might be the last time you’ll have a go round..
I’ll let you touch if you like to go down..I’ll let you go further if you take the southern route..
Don’t go to fast..don’t go to slow..you’ve got to let your body flow..
I Like’em..attentive..and I like a man in control..

Baby its yours..all yours..if you want it tonight..I’ll give you the Red Light Special..although the night..

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
1:47 pm

I believe there actually is a pimp in midtown named StickyBack

PrincessNik

April 22nd, 2010
1:47 pm

Regina is the voice of Riley and Huey

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:47 pm

Lady J, if they asked under their real name I would have answered. LOL

Slim, so you are “in the closet” now? :)

Leggs, I am PC today :)

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:48 pm

Swiss, I thought there was a lady named “stickyback”

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
1:49 pm

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it……a thought…..

DreamsMaterialize

April 22nd, 2010
1:50 pm

Dreams M- That was my man Bob Ross on the Joy of Painting..
Yeah that’s him. Where I lived he used to come on right before cartoons on satdurday. So I used to watch his show. “Now we’ll make some happy little trees in the background”. lol People never remember him…thought I was going crazy. Should have known the blog would be on it though. This is an “eclectic” azz little group though. haha

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
1:50 pm

“so you are “in the closet” now?”

I suppose so :-(

i'm swiss

April 22nd, 2010
1:50 pm

“Swiss, I thought there was a lady named “stickyback””

I’m sure there is… just not in midtown :lol:

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 22nd, 2010
1:50 pm

LEGGS….what were YOOOOOOU doing to get lockjaw?
I had an asthma attack while doing that once…yeah that was a real mood killer!

Too funny!…an asthma attack lito? She must’ve had that THAYOW. ;)

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
1:50 pm

Why do people, switch to lurker status and ask questions and say things?

Too funny. So many reasons.

1. Wusses
2. Wusses who don’t want to hurt the person’s feeling by revealing who they are (all through a computer)
3. Wusses who want remain blog friends with whomever they may belittle. You know, much like two-faced people in real life.
4. Wusses who like taking jabs just for the fun of it.
5. Wusses who like being a wuss.

PrincessNik

April 22nd, 2010
1:51 pm

Does anyone else actually remember when that guy used to have a painting show on television like 25 years ago?

@ Dreams M I remember LOL

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:51 pm

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood.

Luvbug

April 22nd, 2010
1:51 pm

“Swiss, I thought there was a lady named “stickyback””

I’m sure there is… just not in midtown

LOL…LOL

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
1:51 pm

“…she rolls red blush on her pimplish cheeks like Dollar store is going outa bizzness

I’m crying over here!

BlackMagicWoman

April 22nd, 2010
1:52 pm

SWISS…no I did not see Miss March! OMG …. :lol:

LEGGS…put a bit of WD40 on that jaw hinge and go to town! :lol:

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
1:53 pm

leggs wisdom honey pure wisdom……..lololol! my Fridays will be clear in 3 weeks FYI! :)

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:54 pm

Sassy, I did not have an asthma attack. I am good on receiving DT. :) I would freak out of a woman had an asthma attack while doing that. Now choking while I pinch her nose and hold her throat is normal. That or be nice and give her a scalp massage while she is down there.

Swiss, midtown would def be a man names stickyback. LOL

Slim, what did you do. You remind me of the guy from Office Space now. LOL

BlackMagicWoman

April 22nd, 2010
1:54 pm

SASSY..it was me that had the asthma attack! :lol: It sucks (pun intended) to know I have to have my inhaler on deck whenever I do the do…which hasn’t been done since 2009…hasn’t been done right since….since….oh hell who knows! :lol:

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
1:55 pm

@SassyMe ~ BMW had the asthma attack!

Ok, Carlito on being PC…le’s see how far that gets you.

PrincessNik

April 22nd, 2010
1:55 pm

ya’ll got me cracking up over here

Melo

April 22nd, 2010
1:55 pm

@Leggs??

make them 10!!

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
1:56 pm

Carlito – it’s funny you mentioned Office Space. We already said that’s what we all feel like now. I’m not in this broom closet alone. I’m in here with 5 other people, one of which is my District manager. I feel like I can sit at my desk, lean back in My chair and still be able to put my feet up on her desk. LMAO!

mytw♥cents

April 22nd, 2010
1:57 pm

LEGGS, LEGGS, LEGGS….Oil would not be the residue left behind, silly girl… I’m sure some nice guy will volunteer to give you a refresher, tho!

Laid Back White Guy

April 22nd, 2010
1:57 pm

Kym, I’m even north of Cartersville!! LOL

AmazonRed™

April 22nd, 2010
1:58 pm

I got in my car to head home from lunch and this daggone topic was on the radio too. Grrr….!!!!

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
1:58 pm

Slim, well with this new information, I can not come visit you in your closet. I thought you were in there alone with garbage bags, paper towels and duct tape. :)

Leggs, I said PC not FC. I am making my own acronyms up now.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
2:00 pm

CArlito – Get used to people switching to lurker on you.. They think you can reach thru the screen and choke em..

You were way outta bounds earlier though.. And for the record anything that has to do with slavery or that whole experience is off limits.. The KKK is a sore spot forever that ish never gets a pass. Oh and the N word.. No matter how cool we are, I would still never be your N.. Your patna, Yo Homie, Yo MF but not ya N.. Yeah I know theres a double standard but double standards exist wherever you are. You yourself would qualify as a double standard.. You can be a white dude when its convienient not just an Italian.. You know.. Imma lace you up Patna..

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR

April 22nd, 2010
2:01 pm

Carlito – and Im not being mean Im just pulling your coat to some valuable info..

mytw♥cents

April 22nd, 2010
2:03 pm

BLACK MAGIC/LEGGS Luv the movie, “The Sweetest Thing” cuz it’s totally foolish and they have a scene where Selma Blair gets a lil overzealous. I think his body piercing that was the culprit.

DSP

April 22nd, 2010
2:04 pm

Fabulosity

April 22nd, 2010
8:43 am
“People who are educated do not use terms like “degreed up”.”

“Says the clown who just lambasted “educated people” for their typos on blogs (gotta love the spell-check police) yet commits the same atrosity just a few posts later. Mmmm hmmm”

Says the buffoon that can’t tell the difference between a “typo” and a “misspelled word”.
And BTW, it’s ATROCITY – not “atrosity”.

anonymousella – I was referring to others like “fabulosity”. You can “code switch”
all you want – I’ve done it before.

Carlito

April 22nd, 2010
2:04 pm

Infamous, A couple of times people switch to lurker or to some other name that I have not seen before. I don’t use the Nword, never have. And I can see how the KKK joke may have been offensive. I am not apologizing for saying it. But I won’t joke about it anymore.

Nobody puts SlimCoo-Coo in a corner

April 22nd, 2010
2:05 pm

Carlito – they stopped trusting me in the broom closet alone with all the supplies after For Real came to visit me at the job once. Boy was that a hard one to get out of… :mrgreen:

Leggs

April 22nd, 2010
2:05 pm

Ok, LadyJ ~ 3 weeks and counting.

@mytwo ~ I’m just calling IT oil….you know the gushy stuff (can I say that for men?)

@ARed ~ the topic was on the radio as I went to TMJ specialist this morning, and I had to quickly turn it off too!

Dan

April 22nd, 2010
2:05 pm

@BMW

Wait….did I just read…that you had an asthma attack…during…

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 22nd, 2010
2:05 pm

Does anyone else actually remember when that guy used to have a painting show on television like 25 years ago?

Yeah remember how he alwaysy talked in that low soothing voice while he painted? It was amazing to see him take that blank canvas and turn it into a nice portrait….he made it look so easy.

My bad lito :oops:

It sucks (pun intended) to know I have to have my inhaler on deck whenever I do the do…

I bet that really took the steam outta your sail….so you were DTing when it happened? :shock: Dude wasn’t like that til it made you cain’t breave was he?

Lady J-Count your Blessings, Cut your loses, & Follow the yellow brick road!

April 22nd, 2010
2:05 pm

anyone seen blindside and date night???? reviews please…..lol

BlackMagicWoman

April 22nd, 2010
2:07 pm

MY2…girl I love the movie. She got with dude who had the Prince Albert piercing. :shock: :lol:

Artful Persuasion

April 22nd, 2010
2:07 pm

Interesting dialogue going on! I truly believe that once all the offal is cleared away, black men and black women truly care about each other. I also think that we’re more possessive of each other because of our shared history. We expect more from each other, and we feel a bit more let down once we are disappointed by each other.

We are going to get the black family together. The family is the strength of the community, and the demise of our community is not an option. This won’t happen by lowering standards. By lowering standards, I do not mean adhering to a superficial list of tangible items. I mean adhering to standards that include intangibles like responsibility, honesty, and fidelity. Where those things are found, a true commitment can take place.

Keep the discussion alive!