Hey, Wise! You know that I told everyone that I was “off that” relationship discussion in 2010. But I trust your opinion and if you say that the panel was refreshing, I’m gonna tune in!

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speaking of Hill Harper…..I did a little research and discovered more about him bc he seems aloof to me…..I brought his book “The Conversation for my good friend for her bday instead of giving her a gift card….She loves the book and told me some other interesting facts about Hill……I will be getting the book for myself soon as I must say I am interested in the read……still pondering the subject as it seems 2010 and the black woman and relationships has been a major current event I am some how lost for words bc everyone has an opinion which isn’t good or bad I think I am just numb to the topic….lol

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Hey Lady J!

I am glad class went well and your paper came together. As for assisting you anytime, chica. You know I am proud of you!

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Lady J – I have Hill Harper’s book and Im reading it now. So far, so good, has some interesting info….

Professor – yeah this topic is being beat into the ground lately. Its everywhere, however I am waiting for the black women that are in good relationships to weigh in on this

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I just became open to Hill Harper I was very close minded about him is my overall point….the brother has something to say and I am happy I brought a cool gift for my soror…..lol I hate giving gift cards sometimes….lol

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pass the collection plate and it is time for brunch!!!!! Well said Professor! LMBAO!

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Thanks Lady J,

I could use some brunch and maybe a mimosa if we are going to keep beating this dead topic.

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Professor I totally agree with your last post chica! Thats why I said Im waiting for women in relationships to weigh in. Like you said, I dont know Tazzee or Raqi but their stories are great. I also have a few friends in great relationships. I would like to hear more about the women in relationships.

Lady J the whole not working thing is a beast chica! But you could enjoy some of that time! :0)

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I’ll just offer this. Good people ARE finding each other. If you (including me) haven’t found a good person yet, either you (including me) aren’t that good or it’s just not time yet. That said, I love my sistas, and despite what people say, I see your shine…always have.

Great assessment from a good dude! DreamsM great Post!!!!!!!

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ok not to just swipe the blog topic but was anyone listening to v-103 this morning? The stats on child molestation and the story of the author on this morning has tears streaming down my face!

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Morning everyone. Sooo… not much to offer on this topic, but I do have a question: What is the story with this whole ratio thing? Does anyone have any actual numbers on this? Here are the overall numbers (without regard to race) that I found:

Fulton County
Population in July 2008: 537,958. Population change since 2000: +29.2%
Males: 267,025 (49.6%)
Females: 270,933 (50.4%)

So, where’s the disparity? Is it just black men who are in short supply? Or maybe single men? (Though, that seems improbable, since if they’re attached, they must be attached to someone, right?) I know there are a lot of gay dudes in Atlanta, but there are equally as many gay women here, seems to me, so that should be more or less a wash… What am I missing?

And I’m not trying to be a smart-@ss (for once) — I’m seriously asking…

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sassy that is good brain food!!!!! I love all kinds of fish!!!!! LOL

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awww professor why I am going to buy some salmon today…lol I think I wants grits tonight vs. rice…….lol……

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Wise: “fishing in a relatively small dating pond” – This is called leading a witness. You wanted a negative response to dating so you lead the panel with a negative aspect of dating. Your question should have been:

“What are the aspects of dating that professional black women enjoy? Do you think these dating aspects are easy to find in Atlanta?” – That is if you wanted a solution to the so called dating problem of professional black women.

Look if you have a problem with dating it’s not because of your level of education or your level of take home pay. You problem with dating is YOU! Take responsibility for your life. After all, it’s YOUR LIFE and you are absolutely 100% responsible for every single thing that happens in YOUR LIFE!!!

Education and Salary doesn’t overcome:

Non-accountable ( ain’t nothing ever your fault)
Bad Attitude
Selfishness
Mean Spirited
Baggage
Judgementalish (thanks Jessie for that one)
Entitlement (or I deserve)
Femininity (a lack thereof or too much of in some cases)
Weight
Hygiene
Manners

Oh and I know yo momma and daddy told you are the most beautiful person in the world but sorry beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ain’t nothing education and salary can do about that. Well salary might be able to buy you a relationship of some kind.

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Three Words Daily – Life goes on.

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grits tonight vs. rice

Lady J, you leaving the SC in you behind on that note LOL

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This is just one aspect of the AA malaise. I’m not quoting the stats again in here, but until the culture faces them in a real way, nothing is going to change.

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Professor – Agree.

I guess that still feeds into the hype though…next topic will be…BLACK WOMEN LASHOUT AGAINST BLACK WOMEN HEADLINES – MY GOD THEY JUST CAN’T STOP BEING ANGRY!!!

…pan to reel of King Kong destroying buildings

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The Essence FB page is also discussing this topic today.

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The Essence FB page is also discussing this topic today

when isn’t essence or some entity of essence discussing this topic

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times..I meant

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meant over!!!!!

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lurkerPeople aren’t trumpeting the positive that much because the negatives are so remarkable. When almost 80% of AA babies in a year are born to single mothers, and so many of them are minor children themselves, there’s a serious problem with the culture. Other races don’t have those kinds of numbers.

But I’m not quoting ANY OTHER STATS! It’s pointless. People don’t want to even talk about actions on the actionable.

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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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RandyT: ”perception IS reality” – So not true! How can someone delusions be my reality?

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abc as you know there are lies, damn lies and statics. When you truly look at the numbers white america is in the same boat or maybe on a bigger ship do to the larger numbers, however this information is not reported.

Teen mothers is not an AA thing, you can watch Pregnant at 16 and know that

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Professor

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Professor, that’s just not true, sorry. I’ll take your comment on a (stupid, retarded) reality show (intended for an audience of morons) to be a stab at humor!

Now, there’s going to be a new reality show featuring the chicks that Tiger and Jesse James cheated with, all about how to be a skank ho, apparently. Maybe they can get the Pregnant at 16 alumni to participate in that. TV for morons, tellin ya.

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Good Morning All,

Whateva Professor said on this topic including her list I agree with. I mean Christmas Crackers and Christ!!!!!..why why why..do I have such problems as a black woman? Lord it’s a wonder Black women are not jumping out of windows at record rates..consider all the “problems” we have. Sigh…pass me a mimosa..

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If I was quoting statistics, and I’m not, in 2008 there was a 29% incidence of white unwed pregnancy vs. 79% AA unwed pregnancy. 29% is very high, but 78-79% is ridiculous. But I’m not quoting statistics. It’s completely pointless.

But if I were to do so, then it follows, what is to be done about something like that? What are causes of prevalence of unwed pregnancy? Does something like that have pointers as to why professional AA women have a hard time finding a man to marry?

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abc we can agree to disagree, because the reality is THIS you can make stats tell whatever story you want. Look at the number of whites on welfare, look at how white men were leaders in the meltdown of this economy. I am not trying to make it a black/white debate, however we all no the lies stats give us. Looking at false numbers that have been manipulated don’t mean a thing.

As for 16 and Pregnant yes their was both humor and truth in my statement.

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WiseDiva, just from these answers you posted I am intrigued and may actually watch the program tonight.

I recorded the show “Baggage” and watched it last night with my husband. You need to watch that WiseDiva. It’s humorous yet interesting. The only thing is the show really does not focus on “Baggage” as most people tend to view it. From that one show I take it that it is going to focus on individual’s quirks, habits, physical “defects” and past.

When most people speak of baggage they are usually referring to having a child from past relationship or carrying disdain from a previous broken heart. But the show Baggage does not focus on that, it calls baggage shaving your entire face as woman, or the one lady that lives with two platonic male friends. And the woman that has 4 psychics. That’s not baggage. Oh and the lady that has one breast bigger than the other. Those are quirks and individual “defects” and preferences.

The interesting thing about the show is it is sort of like the old Dating Game. One person choosing from three. The three potentials have three suitcase. A small, a medium and a large case. Each case reveal something about that person. The reveals get more interesting the bigger the case. When opening the small case the guy gets to see what woman goes with each small case. When opening the middle sized case he gets to see what is in the case but not know which case belong to which woman. After seeing that case he chooses which one is the deal breaker not knowing which woman is eliminating. So just from the information he gets to know he stands the chance of getting rid of the woman that he may think is the most attractive.

When the deal breaker is sent away the two women remaining reveals what is in their biggest case. From there the guy choose which woman he wants to date.

Now here’s the catch. The guy has one big red piece of baggage that will reveal something big about him. Throughout the show Jerry Springer gives three things that could be in the case. The women don’t know which it is. When the guy chooses the woman he wants, she then decides if she wants to have a relationship with him after the reveal of his baggage.

The show that aired Monday night, that I watched last night, the 3 things were they guy either 1) Was married to two women at one time, 2) has a tattoo of his ex-wife on his chest or 3) had sex with a man.
Jerry asked the lady which one would be a deal breaker and as you know she said him having had sex with a man. So they open the case and she gets to see what his secret is. That particular had had sex with a man while drunk in college. LOL She was like bye-bye dude. LOL

The guy he didn’t understand why that was a big deal to her since she shaved her face for extra smoothness, which he touched and confirmed, and she wanted to adopt 5 kids.

He was crazy. Her two major things together do not even level up to him having had sex with a man.

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Hello but what solutions came out of this shindig last week..cause I would rather skip the debate and get to the solutions..so what pray tell did The Great Teeth One come up with to solve this plague on Black women?

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Have any of you seen the promo for Dana Owens and Common’s new movie..Just Wright?..now I might actually go see that one…

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@ Melo

You would WANT more than one wife? I can’t imagine two or three PMS’s in a month. If one had four, and the moon did not align, he might have to deal with it all month long…not without a room with a lock I can hide in…no way

(jus playin wit ya)

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abc — I’m curious to hear your thoughts on the cause of the teen pregnancy epidemic. I grew up & briefly taught high school in a very poor rural area in northwest GA. At one time, in fact, my county had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state and the problem was not limited to the black community. In fact, it was proportionally spread across the white, black & latino populations — the common denominator seemed to be economic more than cultural. Do you think there is something beyond socio-economic factors that places some kids at higher risk? Or do you think it’s more that those socio-economic risk factors are unevenly represented across racial/cultural lines? Just curious…

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I can’t imagine two or three PMS’s in a month

@Randyt??

thats where good scouting comes in buddy?? U gotta mix and mismatch so that u have sex on deck when the other party is on menstrual sabbatical!

Polygamy aint even a stretch especially here in the south coz most of the pple are religious anyway,so they understand those (g)olden glorious ways!

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dag abc I meant!

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thank God they have finally lifted the flying ban in England…I was getting really scared that the gal in the drive through was my destiny.

Yeah her and those 10 teeth she has….stop it I say.

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Hey Kym…not out yet. I am going to paris this weekend if my new flight does not get canceled. I have a ticket home next Friday and if the plane is delayed, I might start swimming. I want gravy and bisquits, fried food, cold milk, and a foot long chili dog…maybe two…and that is before I even drive home from Hartsfield Jackson.

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@I’m swiss if that were the situation there better be no guns in the house. Nothing scarier than a PMSing woman and a firearm.

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Kimmie, THE WOMAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND is in the house!LOL!!

It’s Secretaries(Admin) Day and we gave her a big breakfast. I made 2 quiche – one seafood, one turkey sausage, all good!LOL!!

As to the topic, I AM SICK OF IT!!! But if you want my real opinion on it, I think the REAL reasons why AA women have a difficult time finding marriageable AA men lies in some of the bad statistics being thrown around. It stands to reason that if you have all of these social ills affecting your community, it’s going to have an effect on the marriage pool! Duh!!! And please, go somewhere with the “AA are too picky, standards too high, too many baby daddies, too materialistic, not submissive enough, angry, bossy, __ fill in the blanks”! All this stuff is used to destroy the AA family & too many are falling for it hook, line & sinker! But yeah, it’s tough for EVERYONE trying to meet a good person, whatever the race.

Now you all know, I am in a wonderful relationship with a great AA man! He has great AA male friends that are family men. Birds of a feather flock together! Meet one great guy & he is bound to have others around him.

I am going to follow this with another post about stereotypes I have faced in my dating adventures!

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Lady J, I think it’s a myth. Whites are 80% of the US population in 2009, with almost 13% AA; of those receiving welfare, about 38% are white and 39% black. So, there’s about the same pure numbers of white and black people receiving welfare; white welfare recipients represent a much smaller percentage of total white population than black recipients represent of total black population. So, while welfare money is split about evenly among black and white people, black people are more likely to receive welfare than white people.

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thanks abc!

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get it kimmie! good post!

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“Thus, if having a baby during your teenage years is encourage and supported in a certain area then the numbers will be high.”

@ For Real — This is what struck me the most during the year that I taught… Getting pregnant wasn’t seen as a negative by these girls. I overheard several of them saying they wish they had a baby, like so-and-so. SMH…

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@tmac

Interesting post but don’t be offended if I don’t stand near you for the next little bit. some of those arrows might be off mark

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@Wisey…honey I am not staying up that late to watch Nightline..ya’ll will have to give me the short version tomorrow. I would love to know is this just a American “problem”..or are black women all over the world having this same “problem”? I mean what about Canada, or Europe? Has this epidemic reach a global scale? Should we have a march to raise awareness? Sigh..

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I will leave this topic alone it reminds me of the crack vs. cocaine debate

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For Real — I believe the 38% & 39% figures were percentages of the total welfare-recipients, not of the respective black/white populations. So they would be nearly the same in real numbers.

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I think the whole dilemma is shared between the two. Man and woman.

IMO the first problem being women making themselves to feel like they are giving up some part of themselves by being a wife. I think many feel because women have come to obtain those “statuses” that once were only held by men (educated, breadwinner) they are entitled to wear the pants in the relationship however still receiving the benefits that fall to the woman as the wife.

And many are taking the sayings of a small few yesteryear women and running with it. Not all women back in the day stayed in their marriage because they had no other choice. The greater percent of those women did so happily because the wanted to be there.

And some men on the other hand are asking for too much. Many guys want the woman that can bring it (financially) like he can, yet he is not willing to play the part of taking on half of the homemaker duties. You can’t have it both ways. You cannot be want a modern woman and only be willing to play the part of the traditional man. You cannot have it both ways. Make a choice.

My husband said the other night while we were watching Baggage and the guy said he wanted an independent women, “Wanting An Independent Woman = Wanting a woman that he will not be forced into the God awful task of having to actually do something for her.” And we women are just as bad. Many of us want to ride with fellows until we break a nail (not literally) and need comforting. Either you are going to carry your own or not.

There is a balance and it is up to each couple to find and do what works best for them. But in reality you can’t get out there and play a man’s game and then cry when you get hurt.

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But in reality you can’t get out there and play a man’s game and then cry when you get hurt

well said Raqi

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For Real, looking up some numbers, there were about 238,000,000 whites and 38,000,000 blacks in the United States in 2005; but the 38-39% figures are for percentages of welfare recipients of those races, not for the total population.

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TMAC – I skimmed your post but didn’t really feel the need to read all of it. I’m proud of black women and their accomplishments and really, truly sorry you get a different read on how we appear or come off. It’s been said a gazillion times before but Imma say it again. Black women have been the glue for years that held things together. I say the glass is half full versus half empty. Meaning she’s hard, bitter, unapproachable when really she’s independant, small to zero margin for bs, not not needing a man but certainly won’t die or pass out if she won’t get one.

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“When I think about the topic of dating/marriage in the educated black community, I just wonder if we can ever go back to our traditional roles. A lot of my friends and I want a woman that has aspirations to be a good homemaker as well as a career woman. We also don’t think that the educated successful women enjoy being in a submissive role.

I think our love squad raised some wonderful points! Some things I hadn’t though about. Do you agree or disagree with them? How would you answer the panel questions?”

Hell no! Do I look like I want to be a glorified maid/baby maker? The women before us have worked too hard to get out of being just that. When I speak with older ladies (elderly), they tell me that I have the life that they have always wanted. They say that when they were in their younger years all they had to look forward to is getting married and having kids. They wished they could travel, live on their on, experience things like a career. Also it’s funny because these “traditional” roles these men speak of are nuts! As a women back then…my own job was the home & kids. But now you expect a woman to work just as many hours as you. Then come home to work another job in the home. But you can chill and wait for dinner…you don’t have to get the kids ready for bed after helping them with homework. Oh yeah and on top of all that I am supposed to be your freaky down for whatever…whenever??? Excuse me…but I get 24 hours to my day just like you. But I am supposed to live like I have don’t! GTFOH! And the final nail…I pay 50% of the bills of the house…and I am supposed to be submissive?? Again I say…GTFOH! That sounds like pure stress and crap! I will stay single and happy! Thank you!!!!

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No comment on the topic again today, except is this really a concern for a particular group of women? Or is it a relationship concern between all men and women in general and a particular group is being highlighted?

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most 6-figure women would not give my fiance’ a second look

Tazzee, that is a big part of the problem. Women are passing over good men because his bank account does not measure up. Too many people make the huge mistake of measuring the man by his $$$$ but a good man is more than money he makes.

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@Raqi

Do you agree with your husband’s thoughts (as stated 5th paragraph @ 10:58)?

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tmac – The “others” are SO welcome to you! Your posts prove we are not missing a thing with you out of the AA market!LOL!!

And that is a great beginning to my post about the stereotypes I have come across in dating.

This whole notion of all successful AA women being overbearing, too picky, arrogant & angry is BS. There are a few like that, and so we all get thrown in the same pool. I’m sure you could find successful women of other races that get stereotyped the same way. In any case it’s unfair.

I come from a family of high achievers – everyone is either in medicine/science or education. So me & my brothers going to college and making something of ourselves was understood. But I noticed once I finished college & got my MBA, the putdowns immediately started. One camp of folks wondered why I didn’t have a few babies already, even though I had no husband. But most criticism came from men. I am not one to wear my accomplishments on my forehead. In fact, if anything I downplay them or only mention when asked. I may mention I went to UGA to get in a debate about college football, not brag about a degree. Anyway, some guys, the minute they found out my background, would immediately put me in the she-don’t-need-a-man pool! Automatically assume that I would not know how to be submissive or a good homemaker or too cute to cook. That could not be further from the truth. I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in the pan, yall know! I am the AA Martha Stewart when it comes to that. I love homemaking. But I am a finance manager that has worked for a few major companies. So what. When I come home, I gotta eat like everyone else, I enjoy music & entertainment & I need love too. I leave my work AT WORK, don’t bring the stress home at all, never have. But too many guys ASSUMED, without giving me a chance! It hurt, many times. I felt I had to jump thru hoops to prove I did not fit the stereotype. No more. I stop jumping. I just chilled. Either a guy had to be intelligent enough to get to KNOW me or he could go kick rocks.

Life has been grand ever since!

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BMW that 11:03 was as real as it gets! My favorite line from your post pay 50% of the bills of the house…and I am supposed to be submissive?? Again I say…GTFOH!

@lurker you are so right on that 11:05 I feel you.

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PROFESSOR…. ” If having a homemaker is important to you, you should make enough money to have her at “home” so that she does not have to work.”

AMEN girl!

“You cannot be want a modern woman and only be willing to play the part of the traditional man. You cannot have it both ways. Make a choice.”

Again I say….Amen!!!

KYM…I grew up on BBC. My favorite show is st Absolutely Fabulous! That Patsy and Edina are hillarious!

LURKER….”she’s hard, bitter, unapproachable when really she’s independant, small to zero margin for bs, not not needing a man but certainly won’t die or pass out if she won’t get one.”

That would be me in a nutshell. I was raised NEVER depend on anybody to do things for you. Get your own and don’t worry if a man doesn’t come along. The world will NOT stop turning if he doesn’t. Nor will I die without one. Make my own happiness….not waiting on someone to make me happy! Best lesson that I have ever learned. I learned that from my mami..who was told that by her father. I love my granny….but I am the total opposite and I thank God. I see her at 78 and I would lay down and die if I was like her.

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Dayum, it’s not even 12 yet and ya’ll got 2 pages for me to try to catch up on…Whew! Will check back in once I get caught up.

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wow I said this would be interesting….great views….

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“and dealing with it as opposed to doing away or not willing to be accountable” – So aborting child is not being accountable? Religious view aside.

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lurker – I do not believe in abortion, but I think part of the problem is many of the women having the babies aren’t equipped to ‘deal’. So even before we get to the point of needing abortion, we need to have open, honest conversations about sex and protection. I was raised by my grandmother, but when my sister got pregnant at 16, she couldn’t look to ‘mommy’ to help with her child like my mother did. So it becomes a cycle of children being born but not being raised.

OK, I’m really gone to lunch now…

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Good morning everyone!

Too much too read, and this topic has truly been beaten to death. When will there be constant negative attention put on “why black men can’t get a woman!” There seem to be so many more men than women yet it’s stomped into our conscious that we can’t get a man. I think this makes the men look worse than the women since the women aren’t accepting a man simply on face value. Apparently, they’re not bringing too much to the plate either!

I remember someone agreeing that Hill Harper is short and that something is off in his appearance. I think I know what it is….he has no neck! His head sits right on his shoulders! making him look like a Rock-Em Sock-EM robot!

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Carlito…I am hard to offend hun….ask away! What do you want to know?

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as oppose to aborting that we know soooo many white women do

lurker, exactly. I stated on here before. The only difference in some AA and the Non is that for a lot of the Non abortion is the answer. But hell that does not change the fact that you got pregnant so the statistics are off.

When I was growing up my mom and many of the AA mother’s I knew taught if you make that mistake you live with it. But many of the Non were taught to make it go away.

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@Carlito..offend them..they will get over it..in time it really won’t matter anymore.

@Abc..sigh Not all female bosses are created equal. Just as not all male bosses are created equal.

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Women are passing over good men because his bank account does not measure up.

Raqi – I just have a hard time believing this is that prevalent. Maybe for a very few women, but the vast majority of women I come across, that are really genuine, good people, want a decent guy that’s at least got steady work. I know I don’t come into contact with MOST single women, but the only ones that were that hungup on a guy’s bank account were the unrealistic, golddigger types. Even those women get their comeuppance after a point. Don’t throw every single woman in that catagory.

Like I’ve said before, none of the blue-collar guys I know have ANY trouble meeting willing women. The ones that are not married are treated like rock stars cause they got a steady job! There are not a lot of marriageables out there to “pass up”.

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BlackMagicWoman, no ma’am. I am cool.

I am going to go shop for some mayonnaise and AC/DC fitted shirts with Swiss until around 2pm.

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Although I know you regulars don’t let anybody in on the conversation, I’m posting anyhow. If you don’t like it, too bad.

Why does there seem to be such a premium placed on a woman being “submissive”? What does that really mean, anyhow? The husband/wife relationship should be about being LIFE PARTNERS. They need to figure out what works for them. Is he better at cooking? She better at cutting the grass? Find out what works.

Submissive, my a@#.

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Yes Dan, I do believe that to be true about many men. Many want the woman that he has to do the least for. My husband talks to his male friends and associates so I take what he says as being fact for many.

Men were given the role to be the provider from the beginning of time but many are now shucking that responsibility. I understand that many men have been used by women with bad intentions, I get that and know a lot of men may feel that a woman carrying her own will be less likely to “take” from you. But that is not true.

I can point you in the direction of women that have it all, education, 6-figure salaries and all that will take you for everything you’ve got. One of them being a distant cousin of mine.

But I feel that a real man although may having been got a time or two knows how to deal with the aftermath. He learns how to make better choices in women.

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Also, what exactly or how do you define successful? I mean if we must beat this dead horse lets get to the bone..I mean how do you really define successful? Success could be a woman working corporate, or in the service industry. I mean have we come to putting a dollar sign on success. I think the woman who worked as a maid hwr whole life but when she died was able to give to a university a few million pretty dang successful. Or Carlito who told us his story about getting out of his old life and on with a new one..that sounds pretty dang successful to me. I don’t think I am all that great..but heck I pat myself on the back everytime anyone pays me a compliment on the behavior of my son. Because frankly according to all stats at 14 he should be prepping for prison not thinking about prep schools. Success!!!

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@Julian I agree with that 11:27…I would love to find a man that would do the mopping.

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For Real I agree about perceptions. That is why I have raised my children to think for themselves, do their own research, and never blindly follow any group or individuals, Republicanor Democrat, black or white, tree hugger or ultra capitalist. I could not care less whether they agree with my core beliefs, as long as they develop their own from an educated, “I’m not a lemming”, belief system.

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@ Carlito… Dude, are you stalking me? How did you know what I was wearing today???

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Carlito all is well can’t complain! I enjoy your reads! You are funny as heck with some valid points! positivity is your theme!

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I like having a wife that doesn’t have to work. It works for me.

@ ABC, i aint knocking it, if you can afford a single income home and that works well for you Great, that’s what its all about doing what works for you and yours.

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Women are passing over good men because his bank account does not measure up.

Well I don’t expect him to be rich…would be nice though. But I am not dating no broke a$$ man. I will not take care of you. I just want you to be able to hold your own and not ask me for anything. If I can take care of myself..you should be able to do the same!

CARLITO…are youguys going to get some Miracle Whip?

JULIAN…no one is stopping you from posting love! I happen to agree 100% with waht you just said! I for one CAN cook…but hate to do it. But I will clean the hell out of house because of my OCD of cleanliness!

Submissive is NOT in my vocab…unless the word NOT is in front of it! Submission is slavery..unless we are talking about sex…then..well hell no….I like being in control!

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I have a hard time believing that there are not a lot of dudes that are marriage material.

For Real – If you take into account some of the statistics being thrown around & the issues facing our community, I don’t know how you couldn’t. You & I might run in circles where we come across a good number of men that may be considered marriage material. A lot of folk don’t.

But the thing is, For Real, just because a man is marriage material does not mean he is desiring or willing to marry. You for one, don’t want to, though you read like you are “material”.

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there should always be a blance between work and home….

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just want you to be able to hold your own and not ask me for anything. If I can take care of myself..you should be able to do the same!

That is the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It can work well when there is a balance with money……

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everone has lane to stay in a a role to play…….men are not women and women aree not men….it is a order……not one person is entitled per se but each character is different and will represent difference with hopes of a successful union…..

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@Raqi/For Real

Whereas I would love to make enough money to have a wife at home raising kids and taking care of the house, I realize that given the meta-issues of the day (inflation, changing economy, etc.) that probably won’t happen as a matter of course; if we’re to have a lifestyle commiserate with the middle class ideal.

Having recognized this trend coming some time ago, my thoughts turned to independent women as acceptable partners in life; in part because that’s what I want – a partner. We do for each other (no score taking) as we recognize that the sum is greater than the parts/individuals.

Now, I won’t presume to speak for you; but I’d be delighted to hear the reason behind your assertion that wanting an independent woman is somehow bad.

Please also advise how this:

“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot be want a modern woman and only be willing to play the part of the traditional man. You cannot have it both ways. Make a choice.”

varies from your other thought process and concurrence with your husband.

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[...] And our Wise Diva over on the “Misadventures in Atlanta” blog offers her own thoughts here. [...]

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Well I don’t expect him to be rich…would be nice though. But I am not dating no broke a$$ man. I will not take care of you. I just want you to be able to hold your own and not ask me for anything. If I can take care of myself..you should be able to do the same!

Thought that needed repeating…

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I also have to admit that I might get intmiidated if the woman earns circles around me…seldom has happened, but it would tend to make me uncomfortable. (I guess I want “this”, I don’t want “that”, I can’t handle ‘fill in the blank…hmmm, wonder why I am still single? )

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BMW: “Submissive is NOT in my vocab” – I wonder what your job thinks about that. Funny how submissive isn’t in the vocab when in a relationship but you will run 9 traffic lights, cutoff 4 cars and cuss slow driving grandma out just be not more than five minutes late to work.

Kimmie: You said “There are not a lot of marriageables out there to “pass up”.” – I don’t agree with that and you are right just in my circle alone I can count 10 dudes. However, you changed your original commit of “There are not a lot of marriagbles out there to “pass up” to Not many marriagables want to get married” and then you back it with numbers/stats you eariler said you don’t ascribe to. Oh and thanks for the compliment and you are correct I don’t want to be married.

abc: At some point in every man’s life we are bossed around by a woman (not you momma). I have had women bosses and I loved working for them. I found them more trustworthy and less threaten by me than the majority of my male bosses but back to the career and happy home not happening at the sametime, it is dishonest to say something is possible for one sex but not the other. Reality is facts and perception plays no part in facts.

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Dan??

I know u asked Raqi but u can have a modern woman and still be a traditional man.

The degrees of traditionalism can vary depending on each relationship/marriage.

If 2 pple are in sync and value their marriage equally,they will find the right balance in their relationship.

U cant be swayed by what the johns do in their relationship. U gotta find ur own balance and strive to be guided by own values.

I read(on the blog) that too many pple have no role models of their own growing up, and thus the media(steve harvey and that other short dude-Harper) will fill in to guide/influence u in ur decision making/dating processes!

Thats too bad!

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@professor – a choice doesn’t have to be made. My mother worked 8 hours, cane home and cooked dinner for her husband and 6 kids and from there delegated duties to us washing dishes, doing laundry our homework. She made the house a home too and ::GASP::, never complained about it. She also took care of house bizness and made sure bills were paid. When dad got paid he told momz and that was that. It can be done but most women today are lazy. They want the husband and family without the work involved. Women from previous generations understood these things.

In general there are tons of good black men out here. Women from
other races find, date and marry them so what’s black women’s problem? At some point you have to stop blaming the men and look at yourselves and what your problem is. Black women need to get back to where we can work together to have things/do things and make it TOGETHER through this life. Two people working together is easier than sepertately trying to make it. No one is perfect but we can work together to make if alot of black women would drop their pride and take their nose out the air and get in this thing with the men. Focus is on the wrong thing alot of the times.

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If the Bible give you understanding of “submissive”, and BOTH people agree on that, then fine. But not everybody follows that book ya know.

Too often I have seen men use “submissive” to mean, “do what I say, even if I don’t exhibit any qualities of leadersnip, responsibility, consideration, recognizing your value.” <–that's a problem.

As an aside, it CAN be hard for women who have carried everything for a long time to figure out how to fit well with a man who DOES exhibit the qualities of leadership, reponsibility, etc.

Jus sayin is all

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Kimmie, yes in so many words many are. They want that man that will treat them well only if he comes with X, Y and Z. Some don’t even give the guy that only graduated high school and making $40-50K a second look.

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@Raqi

As stated previously, I’m cheap.

I’d rather retire at 50 than have to work til 65, so that we can have things. But that’s me.

As far as what I’m willing to take, hopefully, I’ve bene through the worst of it; but I do what needs doing when it comes to achieving goals. Is that what you’re asking?

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Dan: I need you to give me your definition of Independant Woman before I can respond.

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I wonder what your job thinks about that. Funny how submissive isn’t in the vocab when in a relationship but you will run 9 traffic lights, cutoff 4 cars and cuss slow driving grandma out just be not more than five minutes late to work.

ForReal, EXACTLY. I just find it simply ironic how the same people that cannot submit to the traditional relationship will bend over backwards for everything else but. They don’t realize they are submitting the whole time.

Why do we demean our mates? Why aren’t they deserving of the same efforts and energy that we put into our jobs and even forming relationships with our friends? How can one say that they love someone, give their intimate soul to someone, be one with someone yet place them at a lesser degree as a job, hobby or whatever? How does this happen?

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However, you changed your original commit of “There are not a lot of marriagbles out there to “pass up” to Not many marriagables want to get married” and then you back it with numbers/stats you eariler said you don’t ascribe to.

For Real – I didn’t change what I said earlier. In my first post of the day, I said the statistics would seem to naturally have an effect on the number of marriable men available. Now take a raw count of what one might consider marriable on paper. I’m also saying don’t assume that just because one is marriagable that they WANT to get married. Thats the point I tried to make & a prime example would be yourself. If all those 10 marriageable dudes you know are like you, they are useless, “unmarriageable” to a single gal looking to marry.

As for me not ascribing to statistics – while I respect hard, cold facts, I refused to allow them to discourage me and I tell my single friends that. While I believe the pickings are slim out there, it only takes one. If AA women dwell on them, they are pretty depressing.

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and I’ll say it again,
submissive, my a@@

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Why is this so hard? I mean, really? Don’t most of us live on our own & handle work + household responsibilities on our own before we get married? Mrs. Swiss & I both work. We share in earning the money. We share in paying the bills. We also share in handling the household to-do list. We both cook, we both clean. Some things I tend to tackle — like taking out the trash, or anything she deems “icky” or that involves heavy-duty manual effort — and some things she tends to handle, like mending buttons or anything requiring a lot of dexterity in the fingers, which I don’t have. Why is this so complicated?

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@chris,

Thanks for responding to me I really appreciate your insight.

You stated—> It can be done but most women today are lazy.

If it can be done, why are men not doing it, but are looking for women to do it? Does that mean these men are lazy for seeking a woman to do something they can do for themselves?
BTW your mom sounds like a remarkable woman handling six children, a job and a husband…I am raising my glass to her.

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Yeah, For Real, “THE PSYCHO BEEYOTCH HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!” Ha!

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Kimmie: “But yeah, it does make your pool of choices a little smaller when you are an AA female” – See Kimmie you keep feeding the negative myth just like Wise did with her opening question.

For Real – See, there you go, twisting what I said & taking it out of context!LOL!! I was responding to what Raqi was saying about some successful AA women saying they want a man that is equal or better financially to them. I’m saying, okay, but that will limit their choices. The nice UPS guy making 50k won’t stand a chance. If I’m making 100K+ & say I only want dudes who make that or more, does that not limit my pool?

I don’t see the negetive in that, just making a point. Can u see that?

Scratching my head a bit here.

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good point……sexycool! melo you are funny as heck!

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my thoughts turned to independent women as acceptable partners in life

Dan, Independent or equal partner? See there is a difference. All women that work are not singing the independence song. They are just doing what needs to be done. The Independent is the one that don’t really need a man but she’ll entertain one if she finds time to.

Kinding kidding there but not really. It’s not the job or career or even the on hand $$$ that’s the problem. It’s the mindset. That’s where the problem lies.

As long as some of these women keep feeling like they have a point to prove the problem will always exist.

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Im Swiss – your last post is correct, most people are doing some of these things alone. The problem comes when a man marries you expecting you to cook when you barely cooked when ya’ll were dating. Or the shift that comes when a child(children ) arrive (and there is a shift people). It shouldnt be hard but we as people buck change and THAT makes it hard.

Chris – I dont think women today are lazy, but I will agree the focus has changed. My mother was like yours, worked all day then came home and cooked, etc. However my mother talked about how my grandmother ‘taught’ her to be a happy homemaker. On the flipside my mother did the opposite, she rarely mentioned cooking to my sister and I. Cleaning a house – yes, paying bill – yep, cooking – huh?? My mother taught us to seek an education so that we could get a JOB. So I do think it has to be a choice to a certain degree. Sure I work all day like my mom did, but she didnt have an hour commute (or longer), a non-family friendly work schedule (she was a teacher), we were latch key kids and she had a husband that handled the household. Bottomline is it has to be a shared effort which is what Im Swiss was talking about. the days of old are just that (in a lot of ways)…the days of old. (As for the shift with having kids, my ex hubby discovered quickly that he had to share in some of that household stuff to make the home happy and balanced especially once I went back to work)

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I think majority of the population is confused on what lane they should be in. If they weren’t, this wouldn’t be such a constant hot topic…tsk, tsk, tsk!

We are all submissive one way or another. We all “yield” to another for whatever the reason may be. One has to be the pilot while the other the co-pilot!

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nothing from nothing is nothing…..my visual for today…..sigh as I laugh softly…..lol

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Tazzee – I agree. My mindset though is that while it’s hard and a hard road to travel (sometimes) and yes you get that stigma attached and yep you get ticked on somebody’s statistics, I’d rather be counted down and out for trying to do something commendable than to do something rash and quick (that serves for now) that I may regret years down the road. I have a cousin whose wife died very young, I’d say between 25 and 30 and she’d had quite a few abortions. In her passing (literally), she was moaning about all her babies.

Raqi – Backtracking a bit here…years ago when I worked for a small predominantly white company (me and my sister), this white chick made a reference to so many black mothers being single parents and boy my sister lit right into her. She pretty much told her the same.

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The problem comes when a man marries you expecting you to cook when you barely cooked when ya’ll were dating.

Mo, that IMO is a very big mistake many make. That’s were communication gets lost. Or folks don’t see things for what they really are. People need to truly talk about what they want and expect in a spouse before getting into it. I am not one for sitting down combing thru every fine detail but some things need to be discussed.

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leggs great post!

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Raqi communication is the glue that keeps it together…..when that stops and ASSuming takes place it becomes chaotic! Communication is key…..

well sir I see said the blind man……hmmmm

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Another thing that is happening in my relationship currently, we are having more real conversations about our expectations and what we think the relationship should look like. There are some things that are coming out now that were not expressed in the same way at the beginning of the relationship.

Nothing that is a deal breaker, just things that look a little different now that we are digging past the surface stuff that was covered by the first blushes of infatuation.

In other words, sht is getting kinda real.

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You know Mo none of us are perfect and in even being in a “good” relationship you have to rattle the cages every now and then. See I am not one for using sex as bargaining tools or for manipulation. However, if I kindly ask the mister to catch the vacuuming while I load the dishwasher and he fails to do it Imma let him know this “playtime” that he wants to engage in now has be taken for me go vacuum that damn carpet.

It’s not always right but sometimes it’s okay.

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Prof??

did u say publix dinner??

ur mummy didnt tell u that the way to a man’s heart is not publix dinner but the dinner u make??

now this is where u missing it ladies?? small things…..

u spend all day,fulfilling ur boss’ desires but wont spend one hr on the stove for ur lyfe long partner??

Some wrong with that picture!!

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Good Afternoon, all

Nightline is a part of ABC news, and news, in general, seems to focus on the negative. Mostly, because we watch the negative. At the end of the day, ABC news is a business and it just wants ratings so that it can get sponsors to earn money. It isn’t really interested in solving any problems because if there are no problems, there is no news worth reporting. It is all about ratings. It will show stories about death and despair before it shows stories of courage and hope. The saying “if it bleeds, it leads” is attached to news for a reason.

As for the topic, if everyone was honest with themselves things would improve. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, “Marriage ain’t (yeah I said ‘ain’t') for everyone!” It should not be something done to appease others. It should not be done for show, or to keep up with the Joneses.

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I’ve had discussions with my mom
and she said she never did anything that she didn’t want to do. She loved her husband kids and knew wanting a family and kids would be work but she liked doing it. Once again with the negativity ladies. So everyone complains and is unhappy behind closed doors. Some people may need counseling to deal with their issues.

I work 8 hours, go home and cook 5 days a week, vacuum my floors, mop my floors, mow my yard and wash dishes and clothes. It’s no big deal. Alot if ya’ll women act like y’all digging ditches 8 hours a day. If you love someone you should want to take care of them
in some way. Make it easier on them and not just have love bs in words. Actions speak much louder. Alot of people want to be in a relationship for what they can get not give. You should want someone to love because of an overflow of what you want to give. Crazy idea I know. If you’re saying from the jump what you won’t do then nahhhhb, I’ll pass.

Being a man if I make 20k and she makes 50k I’m still the man up in here don’t ever get it twisted. Income goes up and down. She may be making more then it may be me but if were together it’s OUR money anyway cause we’re a team.

A wealthy man said being successful isn’t having alot of money, it’s being able to do what you want to do. There are people making not alot in this world who are successful.

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I need to hang wit u Chris!

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@For Real

For clarification;

I purposely left out financial and material concerns off the “list”, because in the end that don’t really matter. If I spend my time looking at stuff outside myself, then I don’t have the time to work on me. And if I spend the time worrying about what she/we got, then we can’t enjoy each other.

End of the day, homie, whether you living in a shack or mansion, it’s about who/what you coming home to.

The other concerns I raised have little to do with a “woman” indpendent or not, that’s more about being an adult IMO.

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In other words, sht is getting kinda real

@Scool??

Iam glad he wants u to cook 5 days a week and mop the kitchen every 2 days!!

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@ Chris — Just for clarification… You’re not suggesting that if both of you work 8 hours a day then it’s still the woman’s sole responsibility to take care of business around the house, are you?

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Professor me to!!!!!! I have so checked out! LOL

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sole responsibility to take care of business around the house, are you?

@Swiss

what kind of bizzness are u talking about precisely??

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@Lady J, exactly

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@ Melo — Oh yeah, I guess it is Hump Day, so we can talk about THAT kind of “taking care of business.” Still — it’s a shared responsibility. And I will happily hold up my end…

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do the “shake n’ bake” homemade pies, good cooking from scratch etc

@Prof??

u dont have to cook the gourmet type of meal every day but u can cook sme,quick and dirty for ur man in 45 minutes,trust me on that.

I need u to work on that. U dont do home made pies etc and baking every day…seriously. Dont approach marriage with a negative mentality coz if u do,that spells doom for u.

The same way u plan at work is the same way u plan ur meals at home.

Assuming ur marriage is that important ofcourse!

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Chris

Cry me a river.

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Swiss, it is our Wednesday uniform .

Lady J, thank you and you are very correct

BlackMagicWoman, are you in the same store as Swiss and I?

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Lady J: Huh

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Chris

Cry me a river.

I know right…lol He’s preaching to the choir. We know all about love, life and happy relations….a lot of us was reared and can attest. The pendulum always sings both ways. If you can find somewhere, anywhere where a woman has fallen off in her duties of being “woman”, there’s a man somewhere around or nearby with the same issues….of falling off. I don’t think that’s the case though

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for real huh what dude??? what did I say or not say or type incorrectly????

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If dr. Seuss and Charles schultz, Billy Graham and other men were so busy doing other stuff with kids and house werk they probably wouldn’t have been able to be the men they were.

Likewise for successful women. Please let me know if you need a list of names. Chris you never answered my question either about does it make a man lazy seeking out a woman to do something that he can do for himself.

@Melo I will think about it if I get married or better yet have the talk with him before marriage. I know you are looking out for us single women and you want us happily married when that day come, so I will make sure I remember your advice. BTW, do you think it will work if I boil some water and make some tea and stuff in the kitchen and play like I am cooking and hide the Publix bags?

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@ I’m swis, yup I’m suggesting it. I’ve seen many women that did it. The home I grew up in, aunts homes and other extended family and friends. Folk complain too much these days about doing stuff for someone. If I’m seeing someone and she’s complaining about doing stuff for me then that tells me she doesn’t really care right there. Doing something for someone you love shouldn’t be a chore. I don’t mind buying flowers, candy, cooking for my girl, using my man skills to fix something for her cause you’re supposed to be nice and sweet to the ladies. Not a chore.

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Mary M. Bethune..founded a college school..worked with a President and a First Lady and has a slamming recipe for a Sweet potato pie..as found in the Council for Negro Women cookbook..so Chris..I fail to see your point.

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@Swiss..you know you wayyyy behind…Mrs. Swiss should have been barefoot and preggie..months ago..you not trying hard enough..joker!!!LMAO!! Classic..

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Kimmie: You are projecting and tring to work around the fact that I’m right about your choice of words. I bet your man says the samething. Hell all men say the samething about their women. Men have to distinguish between what women SAY and what the MENT TO SAY.

Kimmie: Smokie, Smokie, I had a hard day at work and I don’t know what to do about it.

Lester (aka Smokie, Smokie): What happened Pretty Brown Round?

Kimmie: Well Smokie… why did your momma name you Lester?

Lester: Huh?

Kimmie: Are you gon listen or what?

Lester: Huh.. but..

Kimmie: Smokie, Smokie, come on now I listen to you when you complain about not getting enough flour to batter your drumsticks.

Lester: What? I was try….

Kimmie: Fine Smokie, Smokie if you don’t want to listen I’ll call my sister Limmie!

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“Doing something for someone you love shouldn’t be a chore”

@ Chris — Very true, but that works both ways. Shouldn’t you also want to do things for her to make her life easier? Maybe you don’t do the same chores — maybe she does the dishes & you do the yard work, etc. — but if you both work & you both share the responsibility of paying the bills, shouldn’t you both share the responsibilities around the house? You’re not really saying she should do everything around the house after you both get home from work, while you just kick back & chillax, right?

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So…I’m supposed to work all day, then come home, cook, clean, vacuum, do the laundry, bathe the baby, suck the dizzle, not complain all while you sit around and daydream…er, um…I meant, plan?

Seriously?!?

You on that ooo-wee, aintcha?

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BTW, do you think it will work if I boil some water and make some tea and stuff in the kitchen

@Proff!!

Actually, when i get home,my Queen asks me every day, with out fail if i may want some tea!

It only takes less that 2 mins to boil that water in an electric kettle and meanwhile,the dinner is getting ready!

And she comes and sits beside me on the couch as we watch Chris Mathews and we discuss the day gone by!

Im a lucky guy!

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LOL SexyCool. Ain’t nothing in this life free.

If you are expecting the good, good you better be coming with the better, better.

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Shouldn’t you also want to do things for her to make her life easier?

Gouda, I couldn’t have expressed it better.

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@Professor..you know that happy homemaker character you described is one of the personalities of this woman on showtime’s The United States of Tara. LMAO!!!

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Carlito and sexycool and that professor I am in tears!!!!! LMAO silly!!!!!

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Kimmie: “Swing low, sweet cha-ri-ot!!!” – Naw I’m more like Shoutin John, Hold my mule!

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Goodgood/betterbetter – no problem. But this one sided crock of entitlement nonsense that dude is talking makes no sense.

And this is coming from one who has no problem *catering* to her man. But with the understanding that reciprocity is involved.

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kimmie, I see you

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Carlito – That was really for other folks, tilling & stuff. I know about you already!LOL!!

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Oh this is hilarious!!

Kym – why did I get a visual of Whitley on A Diff’rent World when she sang that song in your 1:29! LMAO!

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What up peeps? We have had this topic a million times and it really trips me out because relationships are really not that hard. WE complicate the heck out of the most simple things. Good people are finding each other and finding happiness. Misery loves company and they find each other too. For the single ladies I can only suggest that you truly evaluate yourselves before you begin to trying to find a mate. Make good choices.
Oh yea BTW some people are supposed to be single. And most times people are single for good reason. And for those silly ones that love to blame the misery on the dating pool over and over. It’s nothing wrong with the dating scene, might be something wrong with yo a$$.

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But with the understanding that reciprocity is involved.

SexyCool, imma just high five ya and keep silent. LOL

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Oh…and tilling ain’ that hard if the ground has been prepared properly.

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Nobody knows..the trouble I see..nobody knows my sorrow…or wait I have a better one than that..

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If you love someone you should want to take care of them
in some way. Make it easier on them and not just have love bs in words

so does this not apply to the man as well?

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I am confused, are there men who do not want to take care of their woman? Are their women who do not want to take care of their man? If you are happy and you know it clap your hands……..

clap clap.

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so does this not apply to the man as well?

@Princess- First off hello. And second it applies to man and woman. That is the only way it will work. I’m curious why you asked that though

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I was invited to be part of the audience for this show, I declined. It was on a Friday night. Either I could sit around on a Friday evening and talk about the “problem” or I could go out and LIVE LIFE and be part of the solution.

I chose the solution and had a grand ole time.

I’ll be out again tonight, so it’s not on my list of things to watch either.

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Hey Dig,

if you reference Chris’s original post it is quite onesided IMO and seems that only the man is entitled to this from his woman.

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Carlito..I think that is more than fair..cause he got two passes for stupid behavior before..I am trying to figure out how I am going to this opening game at Heinz field so I can see the Steel Curtain crush these Atlanta Fakecons.

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I’ll be out again tonight, so it’s not on my list of things to watch either.

Amred – Me either. I’m going to martial arts tonight. My boo is possibly going to be testing for his black belt in June! Me & the kids will test for it by the end of the year. Yay!

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so this blog must be renamed,Sme wrong with Our@@A$$es Blog!

LOL!!!!!

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I’m going to martial arts tonight. My boo is possibly going to be testing for his black belt in June! Me & the kids will test for it by the end of the year. Yay!

awwwww

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Hey Dig That

Hmm I am going to say this on the success portion. While a person’s success may not appear all that looking in. We don’t know what their story is and where they came from. If you lived in a prison cell for 10 years a studio apartment is going to seem plush.

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lady J

my theme song for this week is John Legend “so high”

ahhhhhhh

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Wow – Chris is a trip. I hope he finds what he’s looking for – unless he’s in a relationship already.

In all my dating years, I’ve never dated a man that made more than me. And I’ve dated some pretty successful men – salaries were nothing to sneeze at, just less than mine.

I’ve met some really nice guys that would be considered good men, but they didn’t want to be married. I think a man has to want to be married to be considered ‘marriage material’ – but that’s just me. So I see where Kimmie is coming from. *yeah, I’m late*

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Alright party people, Im out!! Thanks for the laughs cause lawd knows ya’ll been on it today!!

Peep ya tomorrow!

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Kym – Bet! Yall will be amongst the first to know!

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If you lived in a prison cell for 10 years a studio apartment is going to seem plush.

That reminds me, I need to pick up some paper towel drapes to match the new crate chairs that I just got for our cardboard box cottage.

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Hey Professor. What’s shaking?

@Princess- I figured I missed something. That didn’t really sound like something you just be saying all willy nilly

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I like and agree with Allen’s response. Most men, successful men, want a woman of olde, to settle down with. Someone who still believes in taking care of her family and is also career minded. And also able to be submissive in the sense of not trying to make all of the decisions without “any” input and independent of the male. These types of men are the ones who want to be the bread winner and care the most about the welfare of their family and who will be involved in the lives of their children and supportive of their wife. These are the types of men that women say they want. The catch 22 is, those same women will not for the life of them accept a lesser status or role. They perceive it somehow lessens who they are and balk at the idea of and subsequently end up a single parent. God made man to be the head within the body of Christ. Most women just don’t like the idea or concept that GOD created and put in place, which has resulted in present circumstances for which our society finds itself.

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Dig,

yea, i mean i believe it works both ways, but that wasn’t how it was presented. SMH

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So have we moved on? Carlito the Steelers are trying to trade Ben ..dang it now I have to get two new jerseys..this is why you never get jersey for QB’s those jokers…

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Kym

.I am trying to figure out how I am going to this opening game at Heinz field so I can see the Steel Curtain crush these Atlanta Fakecons.

Ben has a conditional suspension that can be shortened to 4 games. So, it may not last the whole 6 games.

As for beating the Falcons, I think that it will be harder for Pittsburgh th an it seems. It looks like it will be either Dennis Dixon, Charlie Batch or Byron Leftwich running that offense. The best thing for Pittsburgh is that they have all summer to prepare. “Fast” Willie Parker is now a Washington Redskin. Santonio Holmes is a suspended NY Jet.

Tomlin addressed the team yesterday and told the players “To get in line or we will kick you out of line!”

As much as I hate to admit it, I think that the Falcons will do well with their schedule.

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I am a Raiders fan, but I will be the first to admit that the Raiders are wayyyy more of a joke than the Falcons, right now.

This Raiders fan must co-sign.

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Professor, What? Are you implying that I was wrong to say that I am not all that? I don’t recall typing anyone else’s name but mine.

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@Carlito..while I welcome your Fakecons comment..you might want to stand about six feet to the right of me..cause these folks..love themselves some Falcons..I think I get away with it cause I been here awhile..although I am an Atlanta native..never liked the Falcons..you new around here..so..Duck!!!

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Oh, and the po black man that I am wedded to.

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Kym…

You know that I am a native too. I don’t hate the Falcons, but I don’t root against them either.

It looks like they finally have stability at the top. Something that they haven’t had before.

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wow ben is suspended 6 games! suprised to say the least!

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AR

It is sad, but I hear rumors that the Raiders may go after another QB. They really wanted McNabb, but he didn’t want them.

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Knowing Warrick Dunn is a minority owner makes it easier to root for the Falcons.

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D@mn how did I miss this function..

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Yeah watch the Falcons bad mouthing. I’m sensitive bout them Dirty Birds. That is what being a FAN is all about. Win, lose, or draw that is my team.

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Poppa, I am a Vikings fan and MN native, so I can not like the Dirty Turds at all

Kym, we can bash the Fakecons as much as you like. LOL Are they really trying to trade Ben?

Lady J, your Falcons have to come through the Vikings and Saints.

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Can I just decide that I’m never going to another funeral ever….other than my own?

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why is the commissioner suspending Ben tho??

what grounds?

Anybody can be accused or accuse another person??

The commissioner is just too powerful in my opinion.

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While I don’t go around saying I’m “all that” I have confidence in myself and who I am that I don’t ever apologize for my continued blessings.

Some folks find such an attitude threatening. It’s really not my problem.

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Now slow ya roll Pilgrim..

DK

That is sooooooo John Wayne

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pk that is the goal! LOL it was all a blur! HA!

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Im going on record to say we beat the steelers the last time we met and Im positive we’ll do it again..

Im other words we gone tap dat @ss in Sh!ttsburgh.. And the little Girl Feelers will wish they’d never played them Dirty Birds..

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Carlito,

You should have Denny Green for not at least trying to score before overtime. If I remember correctly, the Vikings kneeled and played for overtime.

We should at least share a hate for the Saints like the Falcons because they got a ring before either Minnesota or the Falcons.

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I think it would be awesome if the Redskins, go after T.O

totally off topic: T.O. has an awesome physique

that is all

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Melo, he was suspended because he violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy. He signed up to play in the NFL so he has to follow the NFL’s rules.

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Carlito excuse me and my scatterbrain day as i am having dut damn the SAINTS I DON’T DO NO SAINTS and well the vikings we will see I didn’t read your post through and saw vi and assumes VICK! SILLY ME! I am ready to go!~ LOL

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The Redskins are not going after TO.

Shannahan made that clear in a interview on ESPN last night.

I don’t think that it is a good idea. Redskins have enough egos. I don’t know if that team can handle Shannahan, Me-angelo Hall, and TO

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he violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy

@Carlito??

the policy is never be accused of anything??

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Poppa, very true. My team went 4 times I think and lost all 4 times. I dislike all division rivals the same. LOL

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anybody got tickets for the 11/5 game when the Bucs come to town?!?!?

Yep

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Melo…

One thing that I remembered was the coach drawing a small NFL shield and had a huge offensive lineman stand next to it.

Coach asked which was bigger. Then went on to say that no player is bigger than that shield.

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How bout just stop raping women on the off season. He needs a new hobby.

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Carlito – You crazy like that glue.. You see more Aints Fans.. Man I almost said something then..

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Infamous, I do. Maybe because it is off season and they won the Super Bowl?

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i’m guessing most are probably no older than early 30s. learning how to give and take and work together to keep it working just takes time.

@CzBrat??

now thats mature for a change!

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Ben will be in trouble again, he thinks he can keep getting away with it.

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DreamsM to the rescue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! Thanks Buddy!!!!!! LOL HMMMMMMM GOOOOOO FALCONS!!!!!!! Think I will watch the NFL station tonigh and catch an old game!!!! The NBA is draining and somewhat melodramatic these days! LOL Need some hard action! LOL

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Carlito agree so agree your 230 is on the money!

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Leggs, hello. How are you?

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Just thinking back…I’ve never had or witnessed a discussion about this issue and walked away feeling better…the same for other issues in the black community.

I don’t feel bad that I’m single, although I get the impression that I should. I guess that chapter will always be open…until I am no longer single and people completely change their impression of my worth and act like I’ve been “approved” for “something or another”.

I don’t feel that I’m personally contributing in a bad way to other critical problems in the black community, although I get the impression that I should. So far, I’ve avoided trying to produce a family I couldn’t afford. I’ve avoided living outside of my means. I’ve avoided intentionally hurting people. I’ve avoided (declined) opportunities to manipulate and get over on people. I’ve helped people in need (I’m sure I can do more of that).

As a human, I think I’ve done pretty well so far. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to feel so bad about being black or female or single or not wealthy.

Jeesh. I’m tired of being eyeballed for just existing.

End of rant.

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The girls word? Physical evidence? Eyewitness reports?

Ared??

I will take all that as a combo if u like!

It was not able to stand legal scrutiny,no wonder the case wldnt move frward!

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oh well my other post disappeared….sigh! LOL

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DreamsM thanks for the spirits!!!!!

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Kym

No, Ben will not be traded. Championship QBs are too few. Joe Montana is one of only two QBs to win two rings with one team and go somewhere else.

Has as many rings by himself as Brett Farve and Peyton Manning combined.

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Melo, I think him not being charged was more political driven and the fact of who he was. If they would have pressed charges. Then the bar owner would be in trouble for having underage girls getting drunk, the police would be for not properly handling the investigation. If it had been anyone other player who was not the face of the NFL he would be on the way to jail right now.

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Lady J, you are blogging like Confucious

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@PoppaG..he just irks me! Joker..I want to slap him upside his metal plated head and say Get right joker..you think Hines would do it for me? Right on the sweet spot. I am going to get Hines jersey this season and I guess a Troy P for my son. Poor fellow he is wearing a Bengals jersey now(I know Poppa I know..don’t say nothing about your Bungals either..)

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Baseball is wrong – man with four balls cannot walk.

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The town can’t take the risk of going bankrupt trying to fight it.

Ared??

remember we still in america..capitalism rules.

theyre taking lobbyists dollars on capitol hill but they aint calling it corruption!

If u wanna press charges,be prepared!

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Kym

you must address them correctly…

NFL North Division Champion Cincinnati Bengals.

They let it all hang out….as Chad Johnson showed…

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Kym

Hines isn’t happy at all. He hates having to ask questions about Ben’s actions in every interview that he has done for the last month or so. So, I’m sure that he has or will speak to him. After all, a QB has to get some work in with his WRs.

He wasn’t happy about Santonio either.

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Carlito – Fair weather fans that live where you live cause theyre not allowed to live where Falcon Fans live. We group all you new B00TYS together somewhere and let ya’ll do ya’ll..

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@Poppa…yall beat us once in like what..100 games..let it go man let it go!!! LOL!!

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Kym – I loathe you around football season.. I really do.. Because you talk mess and actually know what youre talking about.. I loathe you.. Too bad youre not a Falcon fan and its so sad you roll with Bums..

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Did anyone else notice that a certain newspaper put Hines Ward name in it when the story broke?

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Once that bar taped over the video from that night, they really lost the ability to bring a case. Everything else was circumstantial evidence. He said, she said stuff was all that was left. There was no other physical evidence back either sides claims.

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Carlito I may have to agree! Awareness and the good do exist and I am finding myself wanting to advocate for awareness long term….thanks sir! lol

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In reading the topic title today, how come there is no focus on hood rat’s relationship struggles??

Ared??

I think coz ur girl werent here today to represent!

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They let it all hang out….as Chad Johnson showed…

Uhh hunh…..

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Carlito, you are the only that thinks I am on some stuff today. I just called my husband and asked him if it was okay with him if I bought a pair of shoes I saw yesterday at Nordstrom. He asked me if I was feeling okay.

I told him since I just bought a pair Sunday and with my financial contribution to the household right now being zero dollars I just wanted to pass it by him first.

He paused for a few seconds before saying “I appreciate you calling me but you know I am okay with it. Are you sure you are feeling okay today” LOL

I wonder how many of us can actually handle what it is we think we want. My husband like having a traditional wife but don’t subject me to having to ask “permission” when my contribution is far less than his. He trust me to do the right thing and I can never take advantage of that. These 42 years have taught me something.

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What I find funny is that they keep asking me when I’m gonna have some babies but NOT when I’m getting married

The newbie and i were just discussing this last night. I told him i had been offended cause someone asked me “soooo how many kids do you have now” ummmm just the same one I’ve had for 7 years, sheesh. And he said folks keep asking him not IF he has kids, but how many kids does he have.

SMDH!

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Carlito – I know Vikings fan are just as hated as Aints fans in my book because ya’ll let them B@stards beat ya’ll..

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@BMW ~ I think Chris said is mother DID NOT complain!

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the Saints won the Super Bowl, hell has officially frozen over.

Dang C-Lo

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My decision today is not based on a finding that you violated Georgia law, or on a conclusion that differs from that of the local prosecutor-Roger Commisioner

@Poppa??

ur decision is based on what then??

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Princess, I am serious. That will never happen again.

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one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, go johnny GOOOOO…..my day is over cheer try outs in progress (too old for this glad I am giving it up)……and spaced out in the in process……..the end of the year is near so there is hope…..lol…….peace out good folks!

Carlito AWESOME mental connection! Thanks for keeping a smile on my face today sir!

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Stick around Carlito..this will be a great NFL season..Falcons, Vikes, Bengals, Steelers, Saints(you know they had some converts, and Raiders fan all on the blog..it will be great!!!

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Kym, Raider fans have to be some strong people. I will be around for the season. LOL

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His decision is based on the fact that he has made negative decisions that his teammates and the league have to deal with…

He isn’t the first. Adam Jones (I don’t call him Pac-man) got suspended before he got any convictions. Heck, his suspension came before his Vegas incident.

Their actions reflect upon their employer. It sux, but it is what it is. Having an NFL job allows him to have to time (from Jan to July there is no real mandatory time) and the money to have a place a Reynolds Plantation and other things. Show respect for that opportunity or work a regular job and earn 80, 000 (if you are lucky in this economy) and have neither time or money to do that.

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CArlito – Oh no we own the Mini-sota Vikings..

We own the Aints too but there is something wrong in the universe at the moment but it will correct itself this year..

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@SexyCool..I was off last season..but it’s on this year!!!

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@ Kym

Falcons, Vikes, Bengals, Steelers, Saints(you know they had some converts, and Raiders fan all on the blog..it will be great!!!

you forgot about me the lone Bucs fan LOL

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Poppa, we get farther

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he has made negative decisions that his teammates and the league have to deal with…

@Poppa!!?

but u right!

A multi millionare that gets/demands PSH in a public bar has some wrong upstairs???!! loose wires maybe??

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@Nik I am sorry..come on it Bucs fan..I am sure there is room on the loser bench..excuse me bench for you..Bengals and Raiders fan will yall scoot over so Nik can sit down? LMAO!!!

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sorry that should be come on with it..

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Poppa G I am happy

we haven’t been the same since Warren and Keyshawn left then Cadillac got sidlelined but we coming back.

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Carlito

Poppa, we get farther

That would be fine if the game was horseshoes…but that doesn’t cut it. Blame Farve for throwing it to the wrong jersey…again.

The overtime rules probably would not have mattered if he was more careful with the ball.

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PrincessNik – I supported the Bucs and watched them regularly, as my ex is a huge fan.

Now I have to support the Dolphins, which is hard cuz my bandwagon team is the Patriots, their rivals in the AFC East!

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C-Lo

Uhhhh they got rid of Chucky because he wasn’t bringing home enough W’s

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@Nik..I couldn’t help it..alright folks have a great evening..

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Carlito

I know our biggest problem is the Cryptkeeper….uh…Al Davis. The original Jerry Jones. He can’t sit back and let others run the team.

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I’m outta here ya’ll

Have a Wonderful Wednesday Evening!

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DK…I don’t hate the Falcons… I didn’t like Rankin Smith that much…making demands for a new stadium (or you will go to Jacksonville) when you can’t win crap.

Charles Dimry should give Jerry Rice’s HOF speech..because he made Jerry Rice a HOFer in one day. 5 TD in one day really?!

Let’s not forget June Jones, Jeff George fighting on the sideline.

However, I think there is finally some stability with that team. I can wish them well, for the most part.

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is it jus me or were they play’n NBA street ball? they were kinda rough out there.

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@Dreams
you may be right babe.

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Selling pot: a (primary?) second job for some!!

(some headline)

who knew!!??

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I aint gon tell u where i saw that coz i dont wanna be an accessory to a crime in case some of uall give that info to Ray Ray and hes caught,using that info!

but the info is very valuable depending on who is reading..

any pot_entrepeneuars in here??

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Most dealers today like to keep their inventories lean

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“whole purchasing chain needs to be littered with professionals—not slackers.”

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Poppa, I am really not in to college sports except baseball ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
i’m just messing with you Carlito. but seriously, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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hehehehe. @Brat listening to that now!!! how funny you asked that.

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I did not say I did not know where he came from, I just said that I do not follow college football.

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next:

CARL THOMAS-I WISH(I’D NEVER MET HER)

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I’m starting to like hockey… That Sidney Crosby kid is good. I actually catch myself watching the Pittsburgh games.

I even went to number of Thrasher game this year. It is much better in person than TV.

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Crosby is the real deal. The Thrashers are a good team they just need to get a better front office. IMO

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Poppa, that is the most asked question. LOL. What is icing?