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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

‘Nightline’ looks at successful black women’s relationship struggles

Photo: ABC/Guy D'Alema

See tonight's show, then discuss it on my follow-up blog Thursday morning. (ABC/Guy D'Alema)

You will definitely want to watch, record, or hold a viewing party for “Nightline Face-Off” on ABC, airing tonight at 11:35 p.m.  The hot topic on the debate table was why successful black women can’t get a man. Not only was the debate taped locally in Decatur earlier this month, yours truly was there to witness it all!  That’s right, people, the relationship revolution will be televised…tonight on ABC!

The debate moderators included author and radio host Steve Harvey and Nightline’s Vicki Mabrey.  The lively and decidedly entertaining panelists included CSI star, Hill Harper, journalist/VH1 star Jacque Reid, Comedian and ‘The View’ panelist Sherri Shepherd and author Jimi Izrael. Atlanta’s own Dr. Tartt (and Misadventures in Atlanta guest blogger!) was featured as an audience guest panelist as well, as was soon to be published author, Helena Andrews. Andrews is the author of an upcoming memoir that will include stories about her “crazy dating trials and triumphs in Washington, D.C.

As I sat in the audience, I found the dialogue to be honest and intense at times. Thankfully, there was also a great deal of laughter and fun.  I actually came away with, dare I say, more hope?  I was happy this town hall debate afforded me a chance to recruit a new Love Squad panel. I pitched them a couple of questions that came to mind from the face-off.  Let’s meet them and hear what they had to say!

What are the hurdles professional black women face when fishing in a relatively small dating pond? Do you think these hurdles are more difficult in Atlanta or easier to overcome?

Bren Herrera, 30, Atlanta. Education:  Post-Graduate.  Industry: Entertainment

I could totally relate to Bren: “Discerning a man’s intent and genuine interest has been a problem.  I attribute that to having entirely too many options and ultimately, a lack of preparedness to settle down. Coming from DC, where the ratio of black men to black women isn’t half as bad as it is in Atlanta, dating here seems much more obscure and a ‘game’ of sorts. There are so many women here, men have taken the liberty in being dishonest, driven by their ulterior motives or just immaturity.

Kenneth 35, Atlanta. Education: Currently in graduate school.  Occupation: Consultant, Minister, Relationship Coach.

Kenneth believes that the many hurdles successful black women face are complex. They include:  media influence; misconception that men are intimidated by them;  a misunderstanding of their relationship value. He mused, “Professional black women may encounter greater distractions in Atlanta than other cities, but this can be attributed to the social competition and materialism that exists.

Allen, 27, Lilburn. Education: College Degree.  Occupation: Business Analyst

When I think about the topic of dating/marriage in the educated black community, I just wonder if we can ever go back to our traditional roles.  A lot of my friends and I want a woman that has aspirations to be a good homemaker as well as a career woman. We also don’t think that the educated successful women enjoy being in a submissive role.

I think our love squad raised some wonderful points! Some things I hadn’t though about. Do you agree or disagree with them? How would you answer the panel questions?

Rodney Ho, Sherri Shepherd discuss her ‘Nightline’ experience in his Radio & TV Talk blog

559 comments Add your comment

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:08 pm

Kym

Yeah, I heard that they tried to trade Ben, too. His offseasons have not been the best. If he wasn’t wrecking his motorcycle (on which he does not wear a helmet), he was getting accused of trying to force his dipstick in places that he hasn’t gotten permission to stick it.

There was even a second allegation in Georgia that wasn’t pursued.

Raqi

April 21st, 2010
2:08 pm

Oh, and the po black man that I am wedded to.

Lady J-day dreaming

April 21st, 2010
2:09 pm

YAY NFL TALK!!!!!!!! now going to find the schedule i tweeted! LOL GO NFL! Go Falcons!!!!!!!

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:10 pm

Kym…

You know that I am a native too. I don’t hate the Falcons, but I don’t root against them either.

It looks like they finally have stability at the top. Something that they haven’t had before.

Professor

April 21st, 2010
2:10 pm

Scool,

Again, if a person has achieved material things that are used by the mainstream to define and judge that person is still “all that” or a success story if they have overcome great barriers to achieve those things. It appears that mainstream definition is “not all that” instead of the person.

Lady J-day dreaming

April 21st, 2010
2:11 pm

wow ben is suspended 6 games! suprised to say the least!

PrincessNik

April 21st, 2010
2:11 pm

lady j

a shot (or two) of patron on top of that you won’t remember what you did LOL you will just think you were asleep.

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:12 pm

AR

It is sad, but I hear rumors that the Raiders may go after another QB. They really wanted McNabb, but he didn’t want them.

SexyCool

April 21st, 2010
2:12 pm

And regardless of what a person has overcome to reach whatever station in life they might occupy, I can still have an opinion about their *all-that-ness* that will be based on my experience and filters.

I could very easily hear someone’s story and rise for a standing oVAY or I could respond like kimmie with “Cry me a river.”

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:13 pm

Knowing Warrick Dunn is a minority owner makes it easier to root for the Falcons.

Professor

April 21st, 2010
2:13 pm

Professor, What? Are you implying that I was wrong to say that I am not all that? I don’t recall typing anyone else’s name but mine.

Now Raqiyou know I have seen mice nuts bigger than the thought I give you you being this or that. This is a blog and you made a comment to my post and I kindly replied back. :wink:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. DAD D

April 21st, 2010
2:14 pm

D@mn how did I miss this function..

Dan

April 21st, 2010
2:14 pm

Ahem..

In the words of the Bard:

“It’s called self-esteem [girl], how somebody else gone make you feel bad about you? Silly [girl]..” — Katt Williams

Dig That

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

Yeah watch the Falcons bad mouthing. I’m sensitive bout them Dirty Birds. That is what being a FAN is all about. Win, lose, or draw that is my team.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. DAD D

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

I got what Jacque Reid needs..

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

Poppa, I am a Vikings fan and MN native, so I can not like the Dirty Turds at all :)

Kym, we can bash the Fakecons as much as you like. LOL Are they really trying to trade Ben?

Lady J, your Falcons have to come through the Vikings and Saints. :)

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

It is sad, but I hear rumors that the Raiders may go after another QB. They really wanted McNabb, but he didn’t want them.

Yeah, McNabb threatened to retire than go to the Raiders. I mean, he’d rather the Redskins? It just hurts. :lol:

SexyCool

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

Can I just decide that I’m never going to another funeral ever….other than my own?

PrincessNik

April 21st, 2010
2:15 pm

Speaking of NFL

anybody got tickets for the 11/5 game when the Bucs come to town?!?!?

Melo

April 21st, 2010
2:16 pm

why is the commissioner suspending Ben tho??

what grounds?

Anybody can be accused or accuse another person??

The commissioner is just too powerful in my opinion.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. DAD D

April 21st, 2010
2:17 pm

Carlito – Now slow ya roll Pilgrim.. We dont knock the Falcons in Falcon country.. And that goes for you too Kym..

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2010
2:17 pm

While I don’t go around saying I’m “all that” I have confidence in myself and who I am that I don’t ever apologize for my continued blessings.

Some folks find such an attitude threatening. It’s really not my problem.

Kym--NFL Draft Time!!! Let the games begin!!

April 21st, 2010
2:18 pm

@Poppa I don’t think we will trade Ben..but my money is on Dennis Dixon to perform well in training..he played one game..but he was solid..we lost..but the fellow was solid..Leftwhich is injury prone..I am going to miss Willie..but he was a bit injury prone too..Mendy should fill in the gap there..we got Randle-EL back..So we will see..we may not have a Superbowl year..but don’t count my guys out!!

PrincessNik

April 21st, 2010
2:19 pm

Now slow ya roll Pilgrim..

DK

That is sooooooo John Wayne :lol:

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2010
2:19 pm

what grounds?

Anybody can be accused or accuse another person??

The commissioner is just too powerful in my opinion.

He was accused, with evidence. Just the evidence wasn’t strong enough to hold up without “reasonable doubt.” so they backed off. Big Ben has deep enough wallets for “reasonable doubt” to exist.

Besides, this isn’t his first accusation. Either way, such headlines are damaging to the NFL.

Lady J-day dreaming

April 21st, 2010
2:19 pm

pk that is the goal! LOL it was all a blur! HA!

Melo

April 21st, 2010
2:20 pm

Ared??

so the offense again is??

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. DAD D

April 21st, 2010
2:20 pm

Im going on record to say we beat the steelers the last time we met and Im positive we’ll do it again..

Im other words we gone tap dat @ss in Sh!ttsburgh.. And the little Girl Feelers will wish they’d never played them Dirty Birds..

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:20 pm

Infamous, I see more Saints fans hear than I see Falcon fan. LOL. GO VIKINGS!

Kym, Leftwich always looks aloof to me.

I think it would be awesome if the Redskins, go after T.O.

Where are the Cowboy fans? They are everywhere.

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:20 pm

Carlito,

You should have Denny Green for not at least trying to score before overtime. If I remember correctly, the Vikings kneeled and played for overtime.

We should at least share a hate for the Saints like the Falcons because they got a ring before either Minnesota or the Falcons.

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2010
2:21 pm

melo – Sexual assault

PrincessNik

April 21st, 2010
2:22 pm

I think it would be awesome if the Redskins, go after T.O

totally off topic: T.O. has an awesome physique

that is all

Melo

April 21st, 2010
2:22 pm

unproven sexual assault??

phluck that commisioner??

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:23 pm

Melo, he was suspended because he violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy. He signed up to play in the NFL so he has to follow the NFL’s rules.

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2010
2:23 pm

What proof do you need melo? The girls word? Physical evidence? Eyewitness reports?

They are all said to exist.

Lady J-day dreaming

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

Carlito excuse me and my scatterbrain day as i am having dut damn the SAINTS I DON’T DO NO SAINTS and well the vikings we will see I didn’t read your post through and saw vi and assumes VICK! SILLY ME! I am ready to go!~ LOL

DreamsMaterialize

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

Lady j, Princess
Sorry for the delay. Two Texas Margaritas, a long island, and a shot of don julio patron.

Ok the Blog Bar is open everyone. All my Kemetic Queens get their first one on me. ;-) Wherever you are in your life, strive to do better, and eventually someone will accompany you on your journey.

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

The Redskins are not going after TO.

Shannahan made that clear in a interview on ESPN last night.

I don’t think that it is a good idea. Redskins have enough egos. I don’t know if that team can handle Shannahan, Me-angelo Hall, and TO

Dan

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

@melo

One allegation is unproven. Two is a pattern. Three is a crime.

He’s been accused more than once

Melo

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

he violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy

@Carlito??

the policy is never be accused of anything??

czBrat

April 21st, 2010
2:24 pm

well i AM all that! my daddy told me so. and if you disagree you are not the man for me. case closed. :)

hello bloggers. had no interest in today’s topics so i’ve chosen to lurk. good convo though (for the most part). it’s true that relationships are not as complex as these discussions make them out to be, but that’s a realization that usually comes after much time and experience. i’ve not checked out any of the women profiled on those panels, but i’m guessing most are probably no older than early 30s. learning how to give and take and work together to keep it working just takes time.

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:25 pm

Poppa, very true. My team went 4 times I think and lost all 4 times. I dislike all division rivals the same. LOL

PrincessNik

April 21st, 2010
2:25 pm

Dreams M

I don’t mind if you “upgrade me” to Don Julio ;) , just make sure I have a way home LOL

Dig That

April 21st, 2010
2:25 pm

anybody got tickets for the 11/5 game when the Bucs come to town?!?!?

Yep

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:27 pm

Poppa, they are hurting for Wide Out’s have no trade leverage and by the time their turn in the draft….Who is left for them to take?

Poppa Grande

April 21st, 2010
2:27 pm

Melo…

One thing that I remembered was the coach drawing a small NFL shield and had a huge offensive lineman stand next to it.

Coach asked which was bigger. Then went on to say that no player is bigger than that shield.

Melo

April 21st, 2010
2:27 pm

Two is a pattern. Three is a crime

@Dan??

thats the new legal def of crime i guess.

Ben is a fat and lame muthfcker who cant court women, it seems,but he aint committed no crime.

Being lame is no crime!

Dig That

April 21st, 2010
2:27 pm

How bout just stop raping women on the off season. He needs a new hobby.

Carlito

April 21st, 2010
2:28 pm

I am all of that, because my woman makes me feel that way. :)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. DAD D

April 21st, 2010
2:28 pm

Carlito – You crazy like that glue.. You see more Aints Fans.. Man I almost said something then..