accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Scaring her off

I don’t worship at the Church of Oprah or anything, but sometimes her shows really fascinate me.  For example, yesterday she had a security expert on to talk about ways women could look for signs of potentially dangerous men.   He even developed an assessment tool that can be used to determine “how much of a threat” an abusive person could be, called MOSAIC:

I can understand the need to find out this kind of thing.  Especially if domestic violence is involved.  It made me think about how a lot of us don’t listen to our instincts and intuition.  Sometimes we are oblivious to what we project in our behavior.

In my experiences, some men don’t always know how they come across to women.  There are many ways that a guy can scare a woman off when he is trying to do the opposite.  Ladies, what type of behaviors do some men have that tend to scare you away? Have you ever told a guy why he torpedoed any chances of dating you because of something that really bothered you?

Guys, have you ever met a great woman and scared her off with something you did? Was it intentional? Can you tell when your behavior has been perceived in a negative way by a woman?  Do you try to explain it or do you cut your losses and keep it moving?

Happy Friday!

424 comments Add your comment

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
2:49 pm

but something is making her not go all the way

Yeah, Leggs but something has her still entertaining it also. She needs to cut it cold turkey. She should lose the friendship ’cause it ain’t worth it.

Lady J-Sunshine

April 16th, 2010
2:49 pm

thanks sitah #4 is the truth too!!!!! LMBAO!!!! Yall just saw the breaking news…..my lord! smh!

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
2:50 pm

Does he want to get between her legs or does she want him between her legs?

Lady J-Sunshine

April 16th, 2010
2:50 pm

My evening is so busy but I won’t complain! LOL

Lady J-Sunshine

April 16th, 2010
2:50 pm

carlito you are so nasty lol!!!!!!

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
2:51 pm

SCool – Me & some college friends, one of whom I have not seen for years even though she lives here, are suppose to meet at Atlantic Station tomorrow. We were going to see Tyler’s movie & get dinner & shop around. One of the ladies just moved back to the ATL & has never been to AS. We’ve been planning this for weeks.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
2:51 pm

@Raqi ~ Yeah, Leggs but something has her still entertaining it”

EXACTLY, and I wonder why. To me, women get their just desserts when the man has placed his cards on the table and you got nothing to trump him with. I don’t get why she’s entertaining it and to be frank, it really isn’t any of my business.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
2:53 pm

Lady J, what did I do? LOL

I see comment awaiting moderation beside one of my post, does that mean I am in trouble? Usually my post just do not make it to print.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
2:55 pm

@Carlito ~ the way this nimp told me the story and the smile and yearning in her eyes….both. She wants him there and he wants to be there. But she wants to save face by not going all the way since he KNOWS God is going to send him something better…WTH says that to another. Unfortunately, what she doesn’t seem to realize is he has the upper hand because she’s letting him get around the bases without having a homerun. She played herself by not ending it after that “slur.”

Melo

April 16th, 2010
2:56 pm

what is when you think you can demean me to my face and then still want to get between my legs

@Leggs!!

it aint demeaning if im reading ur body lingo after i say that, and im getting that u still wanting to be around me.
In my over 35+ years of smashing,no girl that likes u will give u any goods unless u make a go for it,showing u do want to smash..either she says yes, or no….

If ur girl sticks around him,regardless of fact that she dont like what he said about them being tgether,in his mind,shes sticking for play,untill the Godly one shows up!

U cant fault a man for asking for some..we aint get no yams,just balls dwn there! :lol:

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
2:56 pm

Leggs, The suspense is there. She has been primed for the picking.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
2:56 pm

Leggs, I think they have already done it. She is just putting a line in the water to see what you might say. Six years no way.

Lady J-Sunshine

April 16th, 2010
2:59 pm

have a great weekend folks!!!! peace out!

SlimCoco-puffs bring all the boyz 2 da yard

April 16th, 2010
3:00 pm

Carlito – I was wondering the same thing.

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
3:00 pm

If I had known I would have actively planned to avoid leaving my little part of the A all weekend.

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
How can the same man that makes me so mad
Do you *know* what he did?!?!?
Turn right around and kiss me so soft
Giiiiirrrrrrlllll, do you know what he did?

(I’m having this kinda day with TheDude – LOL)

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
3:02 pm

Yeah, basically, dude just told her he wasn’t good enough.

Poppa Grade

April 16th, 2010
3:02 pm

Kimmie

Good for SCool and Melo.

The wife and I are going to Asheville, NC. We will take in a springtime Biltmore Estates weekend. So, we will miss the festivities in ATL.

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
3:02 pm

SHE wasn’t good enough for him.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:02 pm

Carlito – I agree.

Part of her feels like a fool for dealing with him this long & have nothing to show for it & find out she ain’t the one for him on top of all that. She’s lying to herself, poor thing, and to Leggs or anyone that will listen.

Just yesterday, I heard Luther’s song Don’t Be A Fool.

SlimCoco-puffs bring all the boyz 2 da yard

April 16th, 2010
3:04 pm

Apparently, the desire for physical as well as something more was probably there. But after they smashed and he got rid of that super sexual tension, he’s able to see more clearly that what he thought he wanted with her, went away in the same warm wash cloth he used to wipe his pee pee with. SHE SMASHED DA HOMIES…LOL

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:05 pm

@Melo ~ ok, you got a point there. He didn’t demean her, she demeaned herself by remaining in his lane…yep, definitely gotcha on that one.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:07 pm

@kimmie ~ I told myself she was already sleeping with him while she was talking to me. Because for the life of me I can’t imagine anyone staying around after.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
3:09 pm

They had sex, and he used that as an excuse to cut her loose.

Slim, you are funny. :)

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
3:09 pm

Alright good people you all have a nice weekend.

Imma go pick up my little darling and come back and get my dinner started.

We are going to go look at some hammocks tomorrow. I am so ready to be laying outside relaxing in it.

Good Night.

abc

April 16th, 2010
3:10 pm

I’d say that a guy who’s cruising for a long time to get into some girls pants, but then declares he’s holding out for the woman that God is going to send his way, is a hypocrite, plainly. This doesn’t sound like Christian behavior to me.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:11 pm

Yeah, I do blame her for it all. A guy is just going to do what you let them do.

After 6 years, he knows her & knows he could get away with saying some mess like that to her & she won’t go anywhere cause she’s hard up. He does not have any respect for her. So yeah, in his head he feels he can do better.

It would tear me up to have someone I truly cared for for 6 years not want me, but I would be hurt even more that he didn’t at least respect me & my feelings.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:15 pm

Thanks, abc! Just wrong on every level!

Melo

April 16th, 2010
3:15 pm

who’s cruising for a long time to get into some girls pants

@abc that part of ulterior cruising has not been established!

If shes hanging around after being told plain and simple that he aint the one,who is cruising,him or her.

Shes a good girl,he admits that.Thats no reason for him to forsake her friendship if she wants to be close.

Most chics wld just step!

If u keeping close,then we bound to swap fluids and still be cool!

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:17 pm

You too, kimmie! Good post! No wonder I walk with my antenna way up trying to keep the bs to a minimum and the fakery away from my door!

mytw♥cents... such a sweeet deliiight

April 16th, 2010
3:17 pm

Hey Sunshines!

I got antz in my pants, a dance in pants & ready to have a reckless weekend… why won’t they give us free?!?

What y’all up to in here?

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
3:19 pm

If he has been around for six years and nothing, he has to be some kind of good. And in fact he is telling her no I can not have sex with you because God said you are not the one. how is he the bad guy in the equation?

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
3:20 pm

Paira’Pennies – you been watching Amistad?

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:22 pm

Carlito, that was a sweet way to twist it, but umm, no. Like I said I put the blame on her.

Melo

April 16th, 2010
3:23 pm

I think what u Leggs and other ladies out there need to understand is that there are chics out there who wont accept a rabbit to be on stand by untill the real wood comes along.

They wld rather have a real live throbbing one,it dont matter its theirs for the long haul or its there on a temporary basis.

I think if uall come to terms with that,then uall be kind in ur analysis of her.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:23 pm

Haaa, haaa, haaa. Just received an email. Someone told me I need to let my antenna down just a little, it’s encountering too much interference! I hollered!

Willie Dynamite

April 16th, 2010
3:24 pm

6 yrs and nobody aint hit nothing. Either thats a lie or they both fools.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:24 pm

@Carlito ~ you put a nice spin on what was said. No, he said he wants to have sex with her while he waits for the better woman to come along because she’s not the one he’s going to settle down with!

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
3:26 pm

Whoever said most women would step is right. Only desperate, hardup, low self-esteem characters would stay after hearing that mess.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:29 pm

Melo – I’m not being unkind, just frustrated & sad to hear it. Because it would not be a discussion if she was cool with just a FWB with dude. But obviously it bothers her because he said that to her, yet she’s all hot for him.

I can deal with it that sometimes some women are cool with Mr. Right Now. But this does not seem like the case.

Even if a guy felt that way, that she was cool to hang with & smash, but not the one he wants to take home to Mama, there’s a better way to handle it. Nothing wrong with how he feels, everybody is not going to be wifey. It’s just not classy, what he said. And don’t bring God into it, I would say to him. Cause God ain’t got nothing to do with that situation.

SlimCoco-puffs bring all the boyz 2 da yard

April 16th, 2010
3:29 pm

Well sounds like he’s proposing a FWB type situation. Either she wants to get smashed by someone she’s known for 6yrs with no hopes for a relationship, rather wait for God to send her the man that will fulfill her physical & relationship needs, or she’ll get smashed by some random dude. Take your pick. ;-)

Willie Dynamite

April 16th, 2010
3:31 pm

Ladies, Ya’ll always ask Men where we find Women that put up with this/that. Exhibit A your honor!!! They are everywhere, look in the next cubicle, look in the car besides you on the way home.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
3:31 pm

I missed the part with him saying he wants to have sex with her, still. Yes he is crazy for even trying LOL, she is stupid for even entertaining him after that convo. She gave it up. I mean for her to stay around he has to have had a peace of her or she is really just that stupid.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:32 pm

Slim – The pickins look slim right now! She’s blocking her blessings, so that option is out right there.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
3:32 pm

Smashed, LOL I like that.

czBrat

April 16th, 2010
3:35 pm

ok. popping in all late on the convo again …. but as for the lil story from Leggs, i was thinking the same thing Carlito said. she’s already gone there but too ashamed to admit it. she wanted to get your thoughts on it so maybe she wouldnt feel like such a garden tool. guess that didn’t work out the way she hoped huh?

Melo

April 16th, 2010
3:36 pm

And don’t bring God into it, I would say to him. Cause God ain’t got nothing to do with that situation.

@Kimmie(and this is priving to be an interesting discsion)

I think he invoked God,just kinda like to lighten the heavy rejection blow!

my thing is if this guy had not be honest,he wld have lived with a lie…and thats not cool either..a real heavy burden.

Theee is no real “good” way to dump somebody who u know is feeling u..bottom line. however way u do it,it hurts.

Thats why cowards like myself usually hit and ran! :lol:

But bro here is a champ and honest in my view…i aint going to blame him for being nice and cool around a chic that he says he aint handled yet in 6 yrs, coz guys will phluck if they get an opening….

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
3:41 pm

God told me to hit it and quit it.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
3:42 pm

Melo – I could have taken it if he just said he wasn’t feeling her like that. That’s upfront & honest. If she wants to continue to smash, it’s on her. I get that every dude I smash is not going to want to marry me.

But did he have to add the “I can do better” part? That’s really the thing I take issue with. It’s like you’re sticking the knife in & turning it.

Actually, I would have appreciated your cowardly approach. I understand it better and I would have felt you were trying to spare my feelings a little.

BlackMagicWoman

April 16th, 2010
3:42 pm

CARLITO..I love the Havanna club! Youc an find me inthe Salsa/Merengue room dancing to the music of my life!

LEGSS…so this chick is too dumb to realize she is the “in the meanwhile” booty? Wow! That is sad and desperate!

SlimCoco-puffs bring all the boyz 2 da yard

April 16th, 2010
3:44 pm

6 years is definitely a long time to JUST dry hump, kiss and rub a little something without it ‘accidentally’ slipping on in…and ‘accidentally’ pump in and out a few times. :lol: