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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Scaring her off

I don’t worship at the Church of Oprah or anything, but sometimes her shows really fascinate me.  For example, yesterday she had a security expert on to talk about ways women could look for signs of potentially dangerous men.   He even developed an assessment tool that can be used to determine “how much of a threat” an abusive person could be, called MOSAIC:

I can understand the need to find out this kind of thing.  Especially if domestic violence is involved.  It made me think about how a lot of us don’t listen to our instincts and intuition.  Sometimes we are oblivious to what we project in our behavior.

In my experiences, some men don’t always know how they come across to women.  There are many ways that a guy can scare a woman off when he is trying to do the opposite.  Ladies, what type of behaviors do some men have that tend to scare you away? Have you ever told a guy why he torpedoed any chances of dating you because of something that really bothered you?

Guys, have you ever met a great woman and scared her off with something you did? Was it intentional? Can you tell when your behavior has been perceived in a negative way by a woman?  Do you try to explain it or do you cut your losses and keep it moving?

Happy Friday!

424 comments Add your comment

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:05 am

Guys that offer way too many compliments

Raqi – It was an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker last year where a guy did that. He was a nice-looking brother and I think basically nice, but he creeped the poor girl out with “you’re so beautiful” every 2 minutes and staring her down like he could sop her up with a biscuit!LOL!

Needless to say, she did’nt want to go on another date with him, millionaire or not!

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:06 am

Ya’ll i wanna get out of this office so badly. It’s too pretty to be cooped up.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:07 am

Infamous, I hear they are great women. I am going to break out my purple for the draft next weekend. Go Vikings!

Raqi, I am fine. How was your trip?

Lurking, who is w8?

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
11:07 am

“It used to be kind of fun doing that.”

And that’s how we learned to play the game as well!

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

April 16th, 2010
11:07 am

DK…I actually like talking to her.. Is that possible after 1 date?

Yes, very possible. I talked to my s/o on the phone seven days (met online) straight before we met face to face. He liked me and I liked him… still 4 years later.

Truth be told we still talk on the phone everyday… and to have some folks tell it all day :)

I wouldn’t say we are chatterboxes (LOL), we are best friends. It’s a twist from talking to your girls all the time to talking to your man.

Enjoy yourself man!

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:08 am

Interesting analysis Lurking…let’s see if anyone else agrees.

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:08 am

DK, the Saints/Falcons thing

I have a similar issue with the newbie, he is a huge Miami fan and I am a huge Auburn fan, but we agreed to disagree since its different conferences. We both however have a strong dislike for UGA LOL.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:08 am

I read that report on Ben this morning. He likes to pull it out and show young girls. Isn’t that like a pervert?

Timeless

April 16th, 2010
11:09 am

Women who have a sense of entitlement turn me off. It’s one thing if you bring something to the table, but don’t expect the world (or men in particular) to jump at your feet just because you show up to a date…

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
11:09 am

DK – Reading you today is making me smile. I heart the first blush of infatuation. LOL!

Oh…forgot…

Three Words Daily – Love conquers all.
(Have not been inspired to do the blog entry yet. The inspiration may not come.)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR BUCK

April 16th, 2010
11:10 am

Raqi – After the relaxed time we had last night with no forcing anything.. Yeah shes cool but i gotta scope her out though cause the devil is always in the details.. I gotta listen to her and see what she slips and say bout other dudes and if she is responsible for her issues in her last relationship.. You know I gotta see that growth in a chick before I got to defcon 6 with her..

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:11 am

You know I gotta see that growth in a chick before I got to defcon 6 with her

cute

Melo

April 16th, 2010
11:13 am

A woman who sits with her legs open

@Carlito!!

lawd, ive seen those types..just blah..knees wide apart.

Another is a woman wearing a skirt and when she sits,no paying attn,she just sits,her dress not tucked under her and just goes ahead making an imprint with her panties or commando butt!(whatever)

Come On Maaaam!! Tuck that skirt under!

I saw Michelle Obama on Tv last nite, in Mexico, making that tuck-in as she sat down,talking to some journalist…First Lady impressed me with that move there..real classy lady!

:lol: :lol:

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
11:13 am

Yeah kimmie it is very creepy. You start to feel dirty after while the way some guys just start salivating. I mean, yeah every woman likes a compliment but don’t over do it.

I love when my husband tells me I am beautiful and even better when he can’t keep his hands off of me, but for a guy that I had just met to keep throwing them out there and getting sleazier by the minute…just creepy.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR BUCK

April 16th, 2010
11:13 am

Nik – Well you and I are officially done cause Im a Bulldog Fan and I root for Alabamy when Auburn plays them.. Now what.. And you know a Bulldog fan dont root for nothing in Alabamy.. Its the lesser of two evils in that case..

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:14 am

staring her down like he could sop her up with a biscuit!LOL!

:shock:

That’s probably what he was thinking,too…..yep just wanted to eat her up. What makes a guy think that that isn’t super obvious to a woman? Especially when they come on extra, extra thick with the compliments….don’t gas me up :(

Melo

April 16th, 2010
11:18 am

Lurking??

i kinda disagree tho.

W8 was smoove with female comps,not like Elijah but sublime with it.

Carlito lets it rip,he dont care where it falls…

Unless W8 has undergone a metamophosis…..switching it differently.

I bet with an 007,anything is possible! :lol:

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
11:18 am

staring her down like he could sop her up with a biscuit

The worst are the ones that are literally making the lip smacking sounds while complimenting you over and over and over again. Just disgusting I tell ya.

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:19 am

Mr. Buck

you aint hurting me, both of my brothers are die-hard UGA fans, so I know the drill LOL, we go at it every year from spring practice til the championship game. Not to menton i work with a truck load of bama fans.

But its still War Eagle! for me.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:22 am

Princess, I’m extremely disappointed in your “Anti-Dawg” stance!!!

DK – I knew I liked you for some reason – Im a Bulldog Fan

I’m not only a fan, but I’m an alum, so gotta represent at all times!LOL!!

Melo – What you saw was a real lady. Smoothing the skirt under is what all ladies are taught, though that is missing in a lot of the younger generation.

SexyCool

April 16th, 2010
11:22 am

#Random Thoughts – If you’re trying to read my mind, you should know that I write in cursive.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR BUCK

April 16th, 2010
11:23 am

Nik – Just like a War Chicken Fan.. Ya’ll dont even know what the mascot is but anyway.. I like the Bulldogs and got a bill that say we beat Auburn this year.. And with your money Im gonna buy some tiger rags and have a bonfire..

Tell ya Bros I said wass upper and to you.. 4 thumbs down.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:23 am

The worst are the ones that are literally making the lip smacking sounds while complimenting you over and over and over again

Yeah while they’re looking you up and down…..like they’d do you right there if they could…such a turn OFF.

THE NBA PLAYOFFS START SUNDAY!!!!!! I like it cause I get to watch 40 games in 40 nights but it’s easy for me to get spoiled with that. But I’m ready,though.

BlackMagicWoman

April 16th, 2010
11:23 am

“Coming on too strong. Dude, I don’t want to be your wife, freak or BM especially when I don’t know your last name. Keep your nasty comments and lip licking to yourself.”

PROFESSOR…girl that is the problem I have! These dudes have this sense of entitlement to you. I mean seriously..we just met. Why are you trying to kiss or touch me? I should hope you are intelligent. Haven’t you ever heard of personal space? NoW BACK UP out of mine! :lol:

I do not like the dude who is a ho! But if he is upfront about his ho-ing..I will respect him and we can be friends. But it’s the game players that get me!

I don’t like the male chauvenists. Don’t come with the I am man crap. It will get you shut down with the quickness.

I am turned off by an out of shape man. Pregnant guts are nasty. If I have to work out…so do you daddy chunky trunks!

I do not like a man who can not speak proper English….if it is your first and only language. I mean… you’ve had your whole life to learn it. Now I can speak slang just liek anyone else. But I also know how to flip it. Speak English…not American! :lol:

A dirty crib is just digusting. And it could be because I am OCD on cleanliness. But dayum man..come on!

KIDS…I do not wish to deal with your baby mama drama. Don’t get me wrong..I have nothing against kids (except I don’t want any)…but SOME men don’t know how to handle busines so that drama does not arise. First step of that is know who the hell you are having a baby with! You didn’t know that chick was trife when you got with her? Oh that’s right…you were led by the wrong head and did not take the time to find out if this chick was crazy, drama filled, etc….bad judgement!

Raqi

April 16th, 2010
11:23 am

SexyCool, and I think a Spanish. LOL Seriously.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:25 am

Smoothing the skirt under is what all ladies are taught, though that is missing in a lot of the younger generation.

That’s cause alot of their skirts aren’t long enough for that…lol

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
11:26 am

@SassyMe/Lurking ~ it’s been stated a few times about the similarities in their posting. Carlito has denied everything and W8 isn’t here to say otherwise. :lol: :lol:

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

April 16th, 2010
11:26 am

You know I’m a Gemini and all my personalities like to get a chance to blog. LOL!

You are a fool! LOL :)

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:26 am

That’s cause alot of their skirts aren’t long enough for that…lol

Sassy, well you right about that!LOL!!

SlimCoco-puffs bring all the boyz 2 da yard

April 16th, 2010
11:27 am

Just had a sudden urge for Garlic bread and marinara sauce :mrgreen:

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:27 am

Kimmie

I just can’t do it, having grown up with something tossed in your face one of two things will happen, you will love it or hate it. I HATE it. my brother who grew up in Columbia, SC is the same way, he can’t stand the Gamecocks.

DK, nothing you can say bud, i’ve heard it all…….. :lol: but i am die hard win, lose, or draw.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:28 am

^^^^^5 BlackMagic….let ‘em know what it is and ain’t gone be,chica.

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
11:29 am

@SassyMe ~ it’s called the “panty swipe”

i'm swiss

April 16th, 2010
11:30 am

“He’s a nice guy and physically he’s everything I like(6″7′,chocolatey brown and foine) and currently out of the country playing basketball.”

@ Sassy — Don’t worry about the age difference… You go on ahead, lil’ mama. Give Josh Childress some luvin’… ;-) :lol:

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:31 am

BlackMagicWoman, you bring it whenever you post. LOL I think that is why guys down here wear their shirt not tucked in down here. Big Bellies on both men and women. :)

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:31 am

Princess – I’ll let you slide, just keep it to yourself!LOL!!!

CoolShadow

April 16th, 2010
11:31 am

Can’t say I’ve scared a woman off, but if I did it was unintentional. I can appreciate a woman being cautious for her safety and well-being but being overly cautious is a turn-off as well.

One lady I met for an initial date acted this way. I met up with her at a restaurant and her demeanor was totally hyper-paranoid and it turned what was supposed a get-to-know-you session into an uncomfortable interrogation. I’d ask general questions you might normally pose to people when you first meet them and each of her responses were carefully measured; I mean, why does it take 12 seconds to respond to how many siblings you have? It made the conversation raggedy and forced me to think too hard for a simple exchange. After we finished, I offered to walk her to her car but she refused, presumably so I couldn’t know what type of car she drove. I guess she would’ve preferred if I had put my hands over my eyes and counted to 100 while she made her getaway.

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:33 am

I think that is why guys down here wear their shirt not tucked in

Carlito – Tucked or not tucked, a pregnant man is unattractive.

Melo

April 16th, 2010
11:33 am

I think that is why guys down here wear their shirt not tucked in down here. Big Bellies on both men and women

@Carliot!!

boy u kill me with that!

:lol: :lol:

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:34 am

I just got the overview on w8 per email, that is funny and sad at the same time. Not me, one person on here has pictures of me. She can share them if she likes. :)

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:35 am

Don’t worry about the age difference… You go on ahead, lil’ mama. Give Josh Childress some luvin’…

Eeeeewwww Swissie Josh ain’t even much cute….you wrong for that :lol:

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:36 am

Kimmie and Melo, I am not gay or anything but I wonder how some men do not care to stay in shape. Some women have babies and stuff so that is understandable. A guy needs to be in shape. IMO

PrincessNik.....AKA Candy Girl

April 16th, 2010
11:38 am

Carlito

LOL, dudes don’t have to necessarily look like they live at the gym cause sometimes thats unattractive also, but no need to have your belly haning to your thighs or even worse your knees.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:38 am

Not me, one person on here has pictures of me. She can share them if she likes.

I wanna see studd muffin…why you playing favorites…is it b/c I didn’t send you that ** shot you wanted?…don’t act like that now ;)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR BUCK

April 16th, 2010
11:38 am

Cool – I grew up wit a chick like that.. Used to date every dope boy in Decatur.. Used to dance and now when I talk to her shes afraid to go on Wesley Chapel where her Mom lives. She’s always talking bout how she has to lock her doors and I may have to call 911 if this guy gets any closer to my truck and such.. Shes scary now but she wasnt when she was holding a few birds for buddy or getting greyhound..

Leggs

April 16th, 2010
11:41 am

I gave notice on Tuesday. Anybody care to meet after work at O’Charley’s off LaVista?

Whoever has a pic, I would like to see it. He’s given permission so pls send to me…thank you.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 16th, 2010
11:41 am

Shes scary now but she wasnt when she was holding a few birds for buddy or getting greyhound..

:lol: :mrgreen:

You know you wrong….you know it…lol

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:42 am

PrincessNIk, I am not talking about all muscles, just healthy. :)

Sassy, I did not get any CT pictures at all, but I did get some pictures that were “jokes”. Then we exchanged nice photos. It is only a picture of me and one of my younger sisters. :)

kimmie

April 16th, 2010
11:43 am

Carlito – The wild thing is that those guys are the very ones that have the audacity to put down a woman if she’s got a little weight on her! Or think that just because they might have a little money or have a powerful job that you should just overlook that 12 month pregnancy!

I make the effort to keep myself up & I want someone who will at least try to do the same. Plus, I’m attracted to good health too.

Carlito

April 16th, 2010
11:45 am

kimmie, back home my dad would give disapproval on guys, (my sisters brought home) that looked out of shape by saying. “It does not look like he can bale that much hay” LOL