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First date misadventures

A married friend of mine recently told me that I was lucky to be single and free to date around.  It made me chuckle a little because just days before, I had experienced a pretty awful dating misadventure.  It was just one of those dates where all signs pointed to “Stop. Do not past go. Go straight to hell no.”

The guy was attractive enough in the beginning, but the more he talked the less I wanted him to.  When he made a rude comment about single women worrying about the wrong ring, it was pretty much a wrap.  Apparently ladies, instead of chasing a wedding ring, we need to focus on the “ring of dirt” in our bathrooms.  

First date flops are pretty common when you are dating around.  When we discussed whether “first impressions are reliable” some of us believed that you can’t always go by snap judgments. What about when you talk, find out about one another, then go on a really awful bad date? Now what?  Do you risk a colossal waste of time on a second date?

Have you ever been on a really bad first date?  If your first impression during a first date is absolute incompatibility, would you think about delaying dismissal?

Are there ways we can improve our first date success rates?

436 comments Add your comment

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
12:30 pm

Damn, I love that SexyC!!!!

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
12:33 pm

SexyCool, mail.

Lady J

April 15th, 2010
12:33 pm

sexycool that is a good one!!!!!

kinderbabe--29 days and counting! woohoo!

April 15th, 2010
12:35 pm

@sexycool…love your 12:28 post!:)

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
12:37 pm

melo You are truly a nuttt, with 3 t’s. lol

Melo

April 15th, 2010
12:41 pm

@Randyt??

u here??

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
12:43 pm

SexyCool I love that quote.

One of my bff was telling me about this episode of Real Sex that she saw and this company makes these sex dolls. Not the blow up dolls but dolls that look and feel like real women. The stuff they use to make them make the breasts and v-spots feel real.

Now that is what these guys we cannot deal with a real woman and her real life needs. A replica of a woman with 3 holes that nothing comes out of. No baby from the twat, no farts from the b-spot and no conversation from the lips. Just sit over there inoperable and look pretty until he wants to get off.

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
12:44 pm

SexyCool, I love that quote.

One of my bff was telling me about this episode of Real S*x that she saw and this company makes these sex dolls. Not the blow up dolls but dolls that look and feel like real women. The stuff they use to make them make the breasts and v-spots feel real.

Now that is what these guys we cannot deal with a real woman and her real life needs. A replica with 3 holes that nothing comes out of. No baby from the v-spot, no farts from the b-spot and no conversation from the lips. Just sit over there inoperable and look pretty until he wants to get off.

SexyCool

April 15th, 2010
12:47 pm

LOL – I was quoting myself. It’s something I’m kinda dealing with this week.

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
12:47 pm

Raqi I actually saw that episode of RS…they make them for women too…replicas of men where you can change the male private part. They showed these 3 chicks testing the doll out…I’m sorry but, that’s a bit extreme to me. I’d have to cover it up at night for fear that it would move by itself, like the little boy did in that movie Poltergeist with the crazy looking clown. lol

Lady J

April 15th, 2010
12:52 pm

I just confirmed an all inclusive jamaica wedding for my colleague that is getting married next may and the room is off the chain!!!!!!!! out the box is the theme….lol that is going to be a fun getaway!!!!!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 15th, 2010
12:54 pm

Actually I probably should not couch it quite that way. Let’s say that their are “non compliant”.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 15th, 2010
12:54 pm

they’re not their. sorry.

Professor

April 15th, 2010
12:56 pm

Lady J,

Now that sounds like fun. Keep doing your thing. I am going to do a weekend getaway next week, but it is time for me to plan a real fall trip. For some reason I am drawing a blank on where I want to go.

Lady J

April 15th, 2010
12:57 pm

professor I am….and you too!!!!!

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
12:59 pm

Slim, it’s just sick to me. Half of the enjoyment of sex is the interaction and satisfaction of your partner. Him doing to me and responding to what I do to him. The moans and the sounds, the kisses…I mean that’s just part of what makes it good.

She said one guy was talking about how much the inside of the doll felt very similar to a real woman. Notice he said very similar because ain’t nothing like the real thing, I don’t care what crazy folks say. Having sex with an inanimate object instead of the real thing, you are doing ALL of the work ALL of the time.

I guess those guys don’t have to worry about if they are any good or not. There is no one to judge their performance. LOL

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

I don’t not what I want for lunch either. I am not really hungry, but I need to step out and eat something. Hmmm a baked potatoe would be nice.

Melo

April 15th, 2010
1:03 pm

I wanted to tell u of this situation..wondering if it were u,wld u decommission or commission this lady??

women?? smetimes they test u for real!! angst!!??

I befriend a lady from high school..I was in lower sixth,she was in same stream as my young brother in ,US equivalent of 8th grade….

nothing in our 3 email convo when we facebooked..to me “yeah, u still look the same,still looking good blah blah” and that was it..thats about last year december.Shes in SA and im sure not married. I asked her aboput our other mutual school mates etc..u know the usual talk among pple who went to same school.

Now today..she sends me a facebook message thats off the wall..”can u hook me up with 500k blah blah….crap like that.

U know im going to the wrld cup in June,shld I prep her for comissoining once i get there?? :lol:

@Slimone u can chime in?? :lol: even u Angie?? i know u were comssioned a few months back!! :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
1:04 pm

Professor, I am getting ready to make myself a turkey wrap, can I offer you one? LOL

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:06 pm

shld I prep her for comissoining once i get there??

Hmmmm please explain what comissoining is I want to make sure I understand before I chime in.

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:07 pm

Raqi only if it is smoked turkey with cracked pepper, but thanks for the virtual offer. lol

Melo

April 15th, 2010
1:09 pm

please explain what comissoining is

@Cmeone Proff??

u remember how it went down when Angie was in vegas with her high school buddy,the view on the ocean front from the balcony of the hotel room,the grab by the waist from the back and then the roll back to the bed,angie pants mosit and on the knees and how it went down there after!??

:lol: :lol:

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:18 pm

Damn Melo!

Where you there or did you go in the blog archive? You told that take down like she wrote it yesterday. Ok, back to your question “should you prep her for comissoining once you get there?”

Before I answer are you going to send her the money?

Willie Dynamite

April 15th, 2010
1:22 pm

Melo – No and No

Melo

April 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

Before I answer are you going to send her the money?

@Proff??

i really like the innocence in ur qstion, i do.

No i aint but the audacity of this lady to send me that request is outa this wlrd.
Just shows u what we men go thru.

One thing i will tell u is that I aint never gon say i will never cheat in ma lyfe(coz another/different heiffer might come with an even “better offer” in the future and i be like :shock: really?? ) ,but ima really try my best to preserve these balls! :lol:

WOEMN???

Melo

April 15th, 2010
1:27 pm

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

Raqi – I agree with your post about being with with fake partners. I like the interaction tween another human warm body. Cold latex can’t do anything for me. “The moans and the sounds, the kisses…” DAYUM…shole make a chick think :mrgreen: (afternoon delight)

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
1:43 pm

My rant: I don’t like the skin left on sliced cucumbers!

Having sex with dolls is crazy. I’m with you Raqi, the moans, groans, kisses, etc makes the art of lovemaking…the right decibel of a moan or groan can make things advance to other levels!

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:49 pm

Melo,

I have to ask a few questions before I give you this expert advice…lol.

I bet she counted all of those cows and said he is living in the US now land of opportunity, milk and honey. Shoot he can send me some money if not he is a cheapazz :evil: :grin:

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
1:51 pm

Speaking of sounds, grunts and moans….how would you all feel if you ever were doing the horizontal tango with a person that didn’t do any of that…no sounds, no talking, no nothing but breathing???

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
1:52 pm

I apologize in advance if this comes off as being long, but I thought you all would be interested in reading this excerpt:

An Excerpt from
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It’s The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
STEP 1 – Determine what you can do to make the relationship work…then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2 – Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
STEP 3 – Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don’t take the bait.
STEP 4 – Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don’t respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the “Knower” and shift to being the “Learner.” Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like “that won’t work,” “I’m right, you are wrong,” “I know it and you don’t,” “I’ll teach you,” “that’s just the way it is,” “I need to tell you what I know,” etc.
Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like “Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation,” “I could be wrong,” “I wonder if there is anything of value here,” “I wonder if…” etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!
Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here’s the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
1:53 pm

Lady J-I love music, any kind of music

April 15th, 2010
1:56 pm

leggs that’s informative!

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

@SlimCoo Coo ~ nothing coming from him probably would make me nervous. May even hinder my own performance cuz I’m thinking to myself “is he not feeling this??”

Professor

April 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

Leggs I enjoyed reading your supa dupa long post :grin:

It made me think of the lady that started a small business dealing with romance writing letters, poems and giving couples date ideas…I gues you could say she was like an events planner for couples looking to get out of the box. She came up with it because she wanted those things in her marriage, so she just started doing it and her hubby came on board.

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
1:58 pm

@LadyJ ~ I thought so too, and that’s just an excerpt!

Randyt (the gal in the drive thru STILL has maybe 14 teeth))

April 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Nice post Leggs 100% cosign…now if I can just apply it (when and if I geet another opportunity)..

Melo

April 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Willie D!!

No it is 4 now but….

Iam looking at her facebook profile right now,lunch time…she got phine bootey,i can tell u that..face is average…

angst…angst angst!! :lol:

ima gon close her facebookpage right! quick in angst.

reminds me one time when my sis in law(queen sis) was living with us.
Its nite time around 10.30 pm and she in her room,sitting on the bed reading some and queen and i are in ours..our door is kinda open and we frolicking….

when queen started releasing those “decibels of moans and groans” that leggs is talking about,my sis in law,kicked her door and slammed it shut..BAMM..outa angst, i wld think…….! in a loud bang!

Her sis was enjoying herself and she cldnt take it!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Proff!!
I bet she counted

I dont know what she betting on but i know and uall know,at 30 some, u ask a man for money,u prepared to give it back in kind! we all know that! :lol:

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
2:01 pm

Leggs – I know of someone who is like that. He says he thinks all that noise is fake and unnecessary…doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling it. I would wonder the same thing you said…sitting there being all loud only to realize it’s only You making all that noise. LMAO

SlimCoo-Coo

April 15th, 2010
2:03 pm

melo – who wants to hear their sis getting her grunt & grind on? I sure as heyal don’t…even after seeing all her goodies at the birth of my niece. I know she’s flucking but definitely don’t need a sound track or visual to go along with that.

Professor

April 15th, 2010
2:04 pm

Melo,

I know the house belongs to you and Queen, but her sis probably felt y’all could have closed the door :evil: :wink:

She might get the money (if you send it) and hide from your azz when you go home…that’s what some would do! :grin: When you get back to Gaw-ja (georgia in my southern accent) send you a facebook message on how I tried to catch up with you and I hate I missed you. Wait and let you recuperate $$ from the trip and hit you up again :mrgreen:

PrincessNik.....feelin the butterflies

April 15th, 2010
2:05 pm

no sounds, no talking, no nothing but breathing???

is he biting his lips? tossing his head back u know any silent motions?!??!

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
2:05 pm

Slim, there is an article in Redbook that talks about Silent S*x and had two couples to try it out. One said it was the best but the husband only agreed a little. And the other couldn’t really get with it.

That is something that I just don’t think is possible with me and mine.

We have had quieter relations but never completely silent. Even if it is just muffled moans or grunts in his ear or mine there is always something.

Heck having an orgasm…kinda out of your immediate control once it starts. LOL Even if it’s just a deep long heavy sigh it’s something.

Getting nothing = We are not meant for each other.

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
2:05 pm

Or I done kilt him. LOL

Leggs

April 15th, 2010
2:08 pm

@Prof ~ supa dupa long is accurate!

Lady J

April 15th, 2010
2:09 pm

send it to me leggs and thx for that one this morning!

SexyCool

April 15th, 2010
2:09 pm

Been there. Done that on the silence from a lover thing.
Made me feel like I was there just as a depository.
Ended up being a one time thing.
There was no way I was going to subject myself to that sht again.
I like my ish ALL THE WAY TURNED UP!
LOL!

Raqi

April 15th, 2010
2:10 pm

And s*x doesn’t have to be loud, but the body will respond to what it likes therefore verbalizing it in some way.

You know when you are eating something really good (i.e. raspberry swirl cheesecake LOL) and it’s so good you just find yourself reacting. You may not let out an actual “mmm this is good” but you can find yourself humming a tone softly or moving to a melody that is only in your head and fueled by the goodness of that delight.

That could be just me….

PrincessNik.....feelin the butterflies

April 15th, 2010
2:10 pm

Made me feel like I was there just as a depository

Celie: he just climb up on tops of me and do his business

:lol:

PrincessNik.....feelin the butterflies

April 15th, 2010
2:11 pm

Raqi, i co-sign your 2:10