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Nice girls finish last too?

We hear all the time that nice guys finish last, but does the same ring true for super nice girls? Do they get glanced over as well?  Yes, super nice girls are out there, men.

I find it so fascinating (and by fascinating, I mean annoying) when I am super nice to some guys, they try to take my kindness for weakness.  Then I have to show the feisty side when I am challenged.When this happens, why does this often turn the guy on more? Is it because he’s lame and should be left alone?

I don’t like acting like a witch, but I always learn a lot about a guy when I’m in one of those modes.  It’s not about that “cute when you’re mad” excuse, either.  Challenging women attract a particular type of man. The question is, would I want that kind of man for my own?

Do you think that when you date someone new, you go through a phase where you are seeing what kind of boundaries the person has?

Is it true that nice girls finish last? How do men interpret a nice girl’s behavior? Do they test her to see how nice she really is?

Ladies, do you find that being nice on the dating scene works best for you? Do you think being harsh with men is a defense tool women use as emotional protection?  Does that actually work?

Do nice girls finish last?

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448 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Lioness

April 13th, 2010
11:30 am

that lol was to beautiful…..

leggs thats a pretty interesting concept….my rolling stone granndfather used it and was part of his death that helped contributed to the stroke….so to each its own….lke any medication it reacts differently to others…

SexyCool

April 13th, 2010
11:31 am

Uuuuummm….yeah…no…Didn’t expect that.

Leggs – Don’t have any experience with that.

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
11:33 am

I’m cracking up over here…bet you didn’t SexyC!

abc

April 13th, 2010
11:35 am

I’d say that if that’s the way you feel about it, Leggs, then do the poor guy a favor and stop seeing him now. Having had the courage to confess such a sensitive problem, the last thing he needs is some chick talking about it in terms of being a broke dyck that she doesn’t want to have to bother with.

ED is often a temporary condition. The most common cause is depression. Actual cases of a physical cause for ED are relatively low. ED drugs are such a bonanza for pharmaceutical companies, it’s easy for men to be led to believe that they need to take it. Young men even take it as a supposed performance enhancing supplement. Pretty crazy!

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
11:35 am

Halle Berry, very beautiful woman. David Justice who is happily remarried with kids. Thinks she is a crazy psycho and was happy to divorce her. LOL

Leggs, I have never taken blue pills but if the guys needs them all of the time you probably will not be happy in the long run, especially if he runs out of pills. Do those things have an immediate effect or do you have to wait for it to kick in?

What you put out is what you get back IMO, karma comes in all shapes and forms. I do not believe that anything happens randomly. So when you are ready to be the best that you can be for someone else, her comes that karma from your past sometimes. At some point the payment will be over for past discretions in life and the forward progress begins

kimmy

April 13th, 2010
11:36 am

HI,
I AM the nice girl. Always pleasant (ask anyone), giving, caring, honest, cook, clean, hard working, and dedicated to my relationship; but men always seem to take that as “she’ll always be around so I’ll just do whatever”. My relationships will then end and almost always I will get the “I’m sorry I took you for granted” sooner or later. I refuse to change who I am. I will continue to be my loving self and hope that one day I’ll meet someone who appreciates me rather than try to take advantage. Men don’t know a good think often until you are gone. My ex told me I am his “would of, could of, should of girl”. The woman he dated that looking back he didn’t realize how good he had it until he dated the mess that’s out there. Oh well!

View from 65

April 13th, 2010
11:37 am

I realize dating is not like it was. Furthermore, many people are not like others were. However, I do have a little prospective while reading these posts at age 65.

Have you read a 14 year old’s diary? Did it sound immature, naive, and just hopelessly childish? Most of these posts sound just that way from my perspective. You all are a little older, but just as naive, and just as focused on the wrong aspects of your lives. Unfortunately, the results will be just like they were for the 14 year olds. When you focus on the wrong things, you get the wrong results. What we tell 14 ear olds is that they should grow up.

Hear attend and listen, oh best beloved” : getting it right, focusing on the correct issues is worthwhile. It leads to happiness and a good life.

DreamsMaterialize

April 13th, 2010
11:37 am

I would want my power to be the ability to have any thought become reality when I wanted.

Leggs
I’m not sure what to say about this. You might need a younger guy though.

Lady J-Lioness

April 13th, 2010
11:39 am

abc you are on it and Carlito I agree about karma it is real that is why I changed my ways and better results are coming!

mqew

April 13th, 2010
11:40 am

Ummmmmm Oooh I know, make him sign …. Okay I won’t finish that, but ….. I don’t know. I guess ride the bull and see how long HE can hold on :-)

BlackMagicWoman

April 13th, 2010
11:40 am

LEGGS…OUCH! That is a bad situation! But I do agree that you should be honest with the dude. But also think of what his other qualities are and if the outweight the “Peter Problem”!

Just like a dude….atractiveness is key. I think a good looking guy will get away with more than an ugly guy. If you are settling because the guy is “nice” but he is “a’ight” looking, then the first thing he does you are going to send him packing. But if he is “HOTT”…you may look past things. Is it right or smart…NOPE! But it’s human nature.

PrincessNik..Grinning & Glowing

April 13th, 2010
11:41 am

Kimmy

i’m sorta like you in your 11:36 i haven’t had an ex yet who didn’t try to come back once they realized the grass wasn’t greener on the other side of the fence, all they had to do was water and nuture the grass they already had.

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
11:42 am

First and foremost, abc, I would never refer to it as a broke dyck to his face! That’s my phrase and mine alone. And whatever the reason for his ED, whether short term or long term, the dyck is still broke!

No, I have no intention of stringing him along simply because that’s not my style. We are forming a friendship not a sexual relationshipo right now. I was glad he was oomfortable enough with me to share that info. Just wanted to see if anybody had any dealings with the “blue pill.” Sheesh, just mentioning it makes me feel old!

SexyCool

April 13th, 2010
11:44 am

Oh…just remembered – my dad and some of his friends use it. (Why do I know this? LOL!)

My mom’s not complaining.

mqew

April 13th, 2010
11:44 am

DreamsM – Isn’t that like Green Lantern, with the ring as the conduit of the materialization of the imagination?

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
11:46 am

@abc ~ Ok, I’ll consider coining a new phrase.

RxDawg

April 13th, 2010
11:46 am

The written blog doesn’t make sense. But as far as the title that asks a question, here goes.

Quite simply NO. If a girl is nice, than most guys are going to like that. The opposite isn’t nearly as true. If a girl has a bad attitude and likes to show that side of herself off, then out the door she goes. Most men don’t want to make time in their life to deal with that sort of crap. This blogger states that she starts off nice and then “shows off her fiesty side when challenged”. It sounds like the nice girl part is just a charade, and that she is actually a mean girl finishing last.

Kym

April 13th, 2010
11:48 am

@Randy I agree the best revenge is to just live well. Live your best life.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

April 13th, 2010
11:48 am

sexycool too damn funny for the midday!

kimmie

April 13th, 2010
11:48 am

abc, I have heard of young guys taking those things unnecessarily. Crazy is all I can say.

Leggs, follow your heart & if you are really uneasy about things going there, easy away early. Everybody just can’t deal with everything that may come their way. Think about it. If he was really someone you were into & were in love with, you would work thru whatever issues, be it that or something else. That’s the way real love works. It’s not so easy when your relationship is not even on that level yet.

Martiqua

April 13th, 2010
11:49 am

Randy, I see what you’re saying but you know, 9 times ouuta 10, the dude will go and make the same mistake with dime piece after dime piece and these chics only care about what they can get from the man and he don’t care cause all he want is someone who looks good, no matter what a byotch she is

Quiza

April 13th, 2010
11:49 am

Can you people use spellcheck and write grammatically so that someone educated may follow the topic?

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
11:50 am

Leegs, since you are just working on a friendship now, would his ED be a factor in you limiting it to stay away from romance?

abc

April 13th, 2010
11:51 am

Other common causes are high blood pressure, often from being overweight, or from drinking too much; most men could lose weight, get in shape, especially through cardio exercise, and if that’s not enough control high blood pressure and cholesterol with medication, and not need ED drugs. I figure one day, I’ll need them, too. It happens to every man, sooner or later.

Certainly, a man that can’t perform sexually isn’t regarded as a man, and must be aware of the consequences of perception as reality. Insensitivity to a confessed problem in that area is, to me, more than a sign of incompatibility. It’s a good example of what people are talking about today, though: do you want a fvckstick, or a man? Can you tell the difference? Probably not; so, go get what you want instead.

Melo

April 13th, 2010
11:52 am

Leggs??

let me share with u a story.

Queen rides with this older afr/amercan lady i spoke about some weeks ago.And she talks and I get to hear the back end of the strories at nite.
Her man has had prostate cancer surgery and it does affect some men,resulting in ED.So he pops the pill to get it to attn.From what i hear,there is no big deal.If there is,its proly to the(some men) man if he has any ego problems about it. He dont have to pop it for every occurence u going to have,esp if u having them in 2 to 3 day succession. One pill will last a cpple of hrs/days depending on how the peraon reacts to the medication,their size etc.

This man clearly likes u coz no person(most) shares such intimate medical stuff with a stranger,let alone a woman hes expecting to phluck.Showes some maturity in his game.

He cld have eqaily not told u,poped the pill be4 the do,lay the pipe and u wld have left the encounter,very pleased,not knowing u were hit by Mr Viagra enhanced. :lol:

Take the disclosure as his endorsement of urself!

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

April 13th, 2010
11:54 am

random I just confirmed my essence trip an all girls trip….I have did this since Daytona ‘99….geesh….it is with my former bff from college and reconnected through fb of course…..and it is with her friends and I was invited….hope it goes well…I get along with folk and meet no stranger just not a in the group woman type girl…..while I have many female friends the most are male….I just know how we can be….it should go well they will be strangers for the most part just the thought of meeting the crew is hmmmm not sure but anyway I hope I get to see Erykah Badu in New Orleans bc i won’t see her in Atlanta!!!!!:( This is my 1st Essence Festival so I am looking forward to just being away for the 4th of July besides @ a family cook out this year! LOL

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 13th, 2010
11:56 am

It’s a good example of what people are talking about today, though: do you want a fvckstick, or a man? Can you tell the difference? Probably not; so, go get what you want instead.

:shock:

Well dayum….

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 13th, 2010
11:57 am

Can you people use spellcheck and write grammatically so that someone educated may follow the topic?

Well you’re educated ain’t you?…..follow then :)

SexyCool

April 13th, 2010
11:58 am

Melo – Good insight, dude.

Every now and then. Every now and then.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

April 13th, 2010
11:58 am

kimmie that was great advice too!

kimmie

April 13th, 2010
11:58 am

Kimmy- You sound kinda like me – 5+ years ago. You see, sometimes you can do TOO much, be TOO giving. I had to learn that the hard way. It’s probably your nature that you are a nurturing, giving person. You think, if I’m just my giving, sweet self, this will bring me closer to him & he will love me. I learned the hard way that this is not necessarily the case. In fact, you can bust your hump doing & giving, and he’ll thank you & go off & marry the girl who is nice, but can barely boil water. A relationship should be give & take. There are times when you may being doing more of one than the other, depending on the circumstances life can throw you, but it should all balance out over time.

Continue to be you. But don’t overdo it. You may have to hold back a little. Allow the other person to show you they don’t take you for granted. You can’t make someone love you by “nicing” them to death. Either they will love you or they won’t.

Those who’ve not “been there” won’t get this. But think about it.

abc

April 13th, 2010
12:00 pm

Not meaning to cast any aspersions. But hey, folks should go after what they want, and leave the others out. If nothing else, it saves your time, and theirs, and can spare their feelings. Everyone has them, you know, no matter what your opinion of them may be.

mqew

April 13th, 2010
12:01 pm

Kym – Okay Joel Osteen :-)

Leggs – Dare I say —-> I agree with Milo

abc – Dang dude….

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 13th, 2010
12:07 pm

@Quiza . . . yousa fool fo that! lol.

hey Lady! what a better place this would be. ;o)

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
12:08 pm

@abc ~ if that’s a slur to me, let me make this clear to you. I, ME, certainly know the difference between a fvckstick and a man? Main reason why I walk solo. Let’s not get it twisted, darling!

I merely put the problem out here to get feedback. I realize this is a medical problem that affects scores of men. Going forward perhaps we will have more discussion on this topic. Who knows, he may not even see me as a sexual partner and could be one reason why he shared this info with me. Right now, we talk as friends talk.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

April 13th, 2010
12:08 pm

lol beautiful!

mqew lol to you too! LOL

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 13th, 2010
12:09 pm

@ Leggs

Viagra and Cialis and Levitra are big because they work, especially with medical conditions I took viagra and came twice without losing my stiff. It tends to work also for hours so the guy can come back for seconds, and thirds even. I’m not sure it is a good reason to kick him to the curb because men will either get old or die. If they get old, guess what goes first?

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
12:11 pm

Off Topic:
Can anyone name the person in the lower right of this picture? :)

His basketball skills, has brought many to laughter. He was all varsity and still has game to this day.

http://www.andreaharner.com/archives/PrinceBBall.jpg

IDK...part deuce

April 13th, 2010
12:11 pm

View at 65, I applaude your comment. I’ve wondered the majority age of the bloggers because it seems most are about 40 and up but still seem…let’s just say I agree with you.

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
12:14 pm

Quiza, you are missing a comma. :)

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
12:18 pm

I too have to agree with you Melo. Nice post!

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 13th, 2010
12:18 pm

Leggs I think the guy your speaking about is brave to tell you about his situation for several reasons…I admire his honesty b/c I’m sure that’s not something he’d want on channel 5 and thank goodness he didn’t wait until you two were about to seal the deal(if it ever even got to that point) before he disclosed said situation. Lastly,he sees you as the fit,fab woman that you are and does like you like that and may hope one day to know you(in the biblical sense)….he just don’t want you to kill him with it ;)

Melo

April 13th, 2010
12:20 pm

When you focus on the wrong things, you get the wrong results.

@View at 65!!

I agree with u completely.

I was telling adults the same thing at church the other day as they discussed dating for teens..13/14 etc.

I told them,why are u parents focusing ur energies on kids dating when u should be spending ur enegies on how to get the kids educated,graduating from high school and what schools to apply to etc???
U’ve got to set the tone in the home,let ur kids know what u accept and what u dont and get them busy on stuff that enhances their lives after they leave ur house..the rest will take care of itself.

Lady J

April 13th, 2010
12:20 pm

it is so nice outside!!!!!!!! something about a natrual high…….sigh!

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
12:21 pm

@RandyT ~ thanks for sharing. Not saying it’s a deal breaker, just thinking out loud!

Ok, Melo, you’ve convinced me…he does like me, and newly found friends don’t share stuff like that…gotcha!

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
12:24 pm

The guy in this picture is Prince, remember when Charlie Murphy did the skit about Prince beating them at basketball? In real life Prince was a varsity starter in basketball and still loves to play. He just plays in regular clothes, well regular to him. Look at all of that hair he had when he was in highschool :)

http://www.andreaharner.com/archives/PrinceBBall.jpg

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
12:26 pm

Ok, SassyMe!

WOW…..this blog can’t be too childish since you’re perched in Lurksville reading the comments!

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
12:26 pm

Lady J, speaking of being high. How come no blogger told me about the Sweetwater 420(four twenty) Fest? I did not know that Atlanta held that. I will be there.

Happy early “420 day” to everyone :)

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 13th, 2010
12:26 pm

lol @ missing a comma!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. MY SINUSES ARE..

April 13th, 2010
12:26 pm

Ok why this dude pull my move.. He went to pick up his lottery earnings with a mask on along with his wife..