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Nice girls finish last too?

We hear all the time that nice guys finish last, but does the same ring true for super nice girls? Do they get glanced over as well?  Yes, super nice girls are out there, men.

I find it so fascinating (and by fascinating, I mean annoying) when I am super nice to some guys, they try to take my kindness for weakness.  Then I have to show the feisty side when I am challenged.When this happens, why does this often turn the guy on more? Is it because he’s lame and should be left alone?

I don’t like acting like a witch, but I always learn a lot about a guy when I’m in one of those modes.  It’s not about that “cute when you’re mad” excuse, either.  Challenging women attract a particular type of man. The question is, would I want that kind of man for my own?

Do you think that when you date someone new, you go through a phase where you are seeing what kind of boundaries the person has?

Is it true that nice girls finish last? How do men interpret a nice girl’s behavior? Do they test her to see how nice she really is?

Ladies, do you find that being nice on the dating scene works best for you? Do you think being harsh with men is a defense tool women use as emotional protection?  Does that actually work?

Do nice girls finish last?

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448 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
8:30 am

Do you think that when you date someone new, you go through a phase where you are seeing what kind of boundaries the person has? Of course….both parties are exploring each other bc in the start the butterfly feeling is there and both parties are just nicer and softer but as time moves one the real self shows…..you may get more profanity more stubborn behavior even more ain’t social gestures so yes you poke around with different ideas and see what is the pushing point to get a yay, nay, or leave me the hell alone bc I am not interested….dating is so funny and particular and compatibly is so important so beyond the giddy feeling in the start it is important to see where you stand with boundaries…..

Is it true that nice girls finish last? How do men interpret a nice girl’s behavior? Do they test her to see how nice she really is? hmmmm nice girl…..being a leo I wouldn’t consider my nice super nice….I am nice and friendly but I will question the status and with questions comes testing boundaries……honesty is so important and the real truth can hurt meaning the reality of what’s really being perused….communication is needed so with being respectful one must demand in a nice humble way to express oneself to see where it is going I think…..part of the game is a test in my opinion as to what you want how are you willing to get it and what you will and won’t do to get it…….it is what it is

Ladies, do you find that being nice on the dating scene works best for you? Do you think being harsh with men is a defense tool women use as emotional protection? Does that actually work? I just be myself….I am me I don’t bite my tongue but I am tactful….I have tone down being aggressive but I am not a push over…whatever I am doing I am doing bc I want to not bc someone has my mind and I am to nice or naive to see what is up….you only play the fool once I think…….

Good Morning to this terrific tuesday ahead!

SlimCoo-Coo

April 13th, 2010
8:53 am

Good morning

My sister and cousin were just discussing this topic this past weekend. My cousin said she was going to start not being so nice…I don’t know what it is with having to show your azz or display characteristics of a Beeyah beeyah in order to be taken seriously and not taken advantage of. Is it that same thing like women who go for bad boys? I feel like i’m a pretty laid back, nice, cool chick and that is my character…how God made me. But I can’t necessarily say it always works FOR me by being so nice.

Kym

April 13th, 2010
8:55 am

Good Morning All,
Well since I am not a guy I can explain why guys response to the Wicked witch behavior rather than Glenda the good witch but I would love to hear from a few of the gentlemen on how they interpet nice behavior. I have my own theories..that jokers(i mean) gentlemen only go as far as you let them..and maybe there is some genetic marker that only allows them to react in a positive manner after you have cuss them out from here to hell and back. But I could be wrong. Enlighten me fellows..why do the nice girls get picked over in favor of the woman who could possible maim you in your sleep?

Kym

April 13th, 2010
8:56 am

sorry that should read “can’t explain why guys”..

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:01 am

hey kym gelnda the good witch it cute…..lol back in the day I called my alter ego suzanne and she wasn’t nice at all….those days are over…lol….I have founded when I changed my ways of being down right nasty and ugly trying to make a point nothing but eveil behavior came….lol sense then glenda as you refered to has kicked in….lol suzanne is still there but it will take everything to pull her out….she is too much energy and it ain’t that serious with dating…..you either want me or you don’t….lol

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:01 am

meant is cute not “it”

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:06 am

and you are right kym that goes both ways people willonly do what you allow bottom line….nice, nasty, or ugly you are in control of you and your reaction to every action!

It is good to be a better person! EXHALE!!!!!! LOL

brother john

April 13th, 2010
9:07 am

you women need to get off your high horses and realize that it is YOUR attitude – and the extra 25 lbs you’re toting around – that drives men away not all the stuff you spend hours a day complaining about on this blog

men want sex until they want marriage

if you’re the one putting out when the marriage need kicks in, you get a ring

deal with it

miztw♥cents...if ya nasty

April 13th, 2010
9:08 am

It was a ranom thought, but I threw this thought out the other day. I was listening to and processing the actual words to Luda’s “My Chickls Bad” and it ocurred to me that dudes like to call women out, saying we all want bad boys or are all candidates for dycktimatization, but we have much evidence of them choosing the attitudinal, physically fightin’ in public and emasculating their men at home & in front of comapny types. But never acknowledge that their selection processes could possibly revamped. A sweet disposition be damned.

But when you make too much sense in life and often on here it gets no airplay so I’m glad I already know this much is true….

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:11 am

so early brother john ok then why are your smaller size chics single and complaining about the samethings and they swear they ain’t having sex well the ones I encounter…..why is weight an issue and if it is why even entertain those who are heavier…geesh…..what can you work on to be a better brother john???

Kym

April 13th, 2010
9:12 am

@LadyJ I named my alter ego..Twanda(I got it from Fried Green Tomatoes)and ever so often she appears..normally when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired. But over the past few years I have learned to pick my battles. I know I have changed because I don’t think about going upside folks heads half as much as I use to. LMAO!!! As for reacting to other folks..well they can’t get your goat if they don’t know where its tied!

kinderbabe--31 days and counting! woohoo!

April 13th, 2010
9:16 am

i’ll just be reading today. have a good one!:)

Kym

April 13th, 2010
9:16 am

Off-Topic..Let me see if I follow this..Dogwood Festival this weekend..Freaknic..possible(if the Mayor doesn’t have every street blocked off) this weekend..hmmm yeah I am not coming anywhere near downtown. Hey can someone get me a dogwood festival poster..suitable for framing of course?

DreamsMaterialize

April 13th, 2010
9:17 am

Morning
I love nice girls, and all the women I’ve ever dated were nice…in the beginning. lol I’m an easy-going guy, and I like my women the same. It’s a downer to be with a women who has a negative disposition. Who you choose to date is a reflection of you and your preferrences. So, if you’re dating no-so-nice people, then it might mean that you’re projecting not-so-nice to others (despite how nice YOU think you are). Nice girls win the marathon with me. Where ya’ll at? lol

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:17 am

normally when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Kym you said a mouth full!!!!!!

My ex husband and as we shacked saw suzanne but in my dating world only once has suzanne reared her face and she was nothing like what my ex experienced….I truly killed her off bc she was going to kill me!!!! Those alter egos are a mess!!!!

Ok got ot say this one more time normally when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired. PREACH sistah!!!!!!

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:18 am

kb me too in a sec this won’t be an all day blog for me either….i just don’t get some folk they so quick to tell the next person what they need to do and they ish stank too!

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
9:22 am

Nice “women/girls” finish first for the man that deserves her. If a woman is playing nice then goes to her natural mean when pushed, means that she is not a “nice” girl. Guys value a nice decent woman who is not beleaguered by a bad attitude. Just because she is nice does not mean she has no spine or is getting ran over. Actually it is just the opposite, she knows how to maintain with love and peace as fuel. It’s basic man and woman desires, the most simple of things are the most elegantly sophisticated. And any person who tests someone, just to see how they would react in a situation is playing games and if busted deserves to be left alone. IMO

kinderbabe--31 days and counting! woohoo!

April 13th, 2010
9:23 am

@LadyJ, i feel you. those who usually give the most advice have the most problems. lip service is easy. living and doing it is a whole ‘nother matter. i don’t pay it any mind, chile! lol

PrincessNik..Grinning & Glowing

April 13th, 2010
9:24 am

Hmm, i try to be balanced, i am a nice sweet person, but i’m also stern and don’t take any mess. My ex nicknamed my alter ego LOL, he’d be like uh oh Nikki has shown up.

brother john

April 13th, 2010
9:24 am

try improving your grammar ladies

@ms_jones74

April 13th, 2010
9:25 am

Just like there is a difference between a nice guy and a simp, there is a difference between a nice girl and a doormat. There’s a book (okay there are a lot of books) along the premise of Why Men Marry B*ches that talks about a woman who can be kind hearted and generous, open and loving, but is her own woman, does not let herself get walked over and commands respect.

There are a lot of women who command (demand) respect but aren’t the kindest people. I think some translate that “fire” to the bedroom as well, so perhaps they assume that a mild mannered woman in public is also mild mannered elsewhere.

Speaking as a “good” girl, I have met great men who have plainly said that they are looking for someone worldly and more exciting. I don’t know if that’s last, or just reality. Either way, at least they were upfront.

Lady J-Charge it to the game like Visa

April 13th, 2010
9:26 am

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
9:30 am

Some interesting views this morning. Great Topic :) The defenses are up and the salvos are in the air. Brace for impact!

Kym

April 13th, 2010
9:31 am

@Carlito..we all have a limit. No one is going to keep putting up with someone else mess simply because they are nice. How many times have we all heard the story of someone consider so nice pushed to the brink of doing something so unbelievable. The pastor’s wife in Tennessee comes to mind. From all accounts the couple had the ideal marriage, kids, happy blah blah. And then..one day the police are called to the home because the wife took a shotgun and blew his head off. Everyone has a limit. Most guys I know say when they are pushed they know they have to get away..what’s that Chris Rock says, “I may not hit a woman but I will shake the *** out of her!” We all have our break point.

Chelle

April 13th, 2010
9:36 am

Morning – have a great day everyone :)

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
9:38 am

Kym, what about the stories that do not get the news coverage? You hit the nail on the head “putting up with someone’s mess” That take me back to the first sentence I typed. “Nice “women/girls” finish first for the man that deserves her”….for the man that deserves her. That man that deserves her would not be putting her in mess, he would protect and provide” I am a firm believer that a man is responsible for all of his woman’s actions and attitudes when in a relationship. Provide the right environment and you will have a peaceful relationship. Even the strongest stallions can be tamed and the most mild-mannered can turn into she-devils. Depends on the man IMO

IDK...part deuce

April 13th, 2010
9:40 am

good topic WD! I really wonder this myself too…seems some guys really like the whole ‘major attitude having, go getter no matter WHAT’ type females. I’ve seen it. Why it works…IDK. Fellas??? Do nice guys finish…last/first/at all?

mqew

April 13th, 2010
9:43 am

Ummmm Nice girl? Wow! How about regular chic. Meaning someone that knows how to handle themselves in difficult situations. One who will just walk away instead of doing something ignant like cussin, fussing, yelling, and screaming. First of all, please believe that if I’m around someone who wants/likes/does push me to those points…. I want NOTHING to do with them. I am ANTI-DRAMA so if my calm cool demeanor is boring you to the point where you think it’s necessary to test/push me, Keep It the Hell Moving!

Carlito

April 13th, 2010
9:50 am

mqew, your post is the definitoion of a “nice girl” to most men :)

Are the other guys going to chime in and say do they prefer a nice girl or an attitude girl?

PrincessNik..Grinning & Glowing

April 13th, 2010
9:50 am

MQEW i agree with you I am anti drama also and even in moments of being upset i’m not going to yell and scream but I am going to break it down for the other person. Now that i’m older and more comfortable with and confident in myself, i rarely have a s/o or possible s/o trying to test or push me. This is because it’s easily noticeable that i don’t put up with BS.

Peadawg

April 13th, 2010
9:53 am

I guess it depends on the guy. Personally, I like a nice girl who I can take home to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner w/ the family. But she’s a fireball in bed. Kinda like that old rap song, a lady in the street but a freak in the bed. That’s my ideal girl.

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 13th, 2010
9:53 am

Good day.

I think there are nice girls out here but they still are women and have the ability to do women things. They can still be manipulative, play games, etc. Just dont get it twisted because she is nice. They only have one trump card and arent afraid to use it.

“Do you think that when you date someone new, you go through a phase where you are seeing what kind of boundaries the person has?”

Guys really dont do this but women love to do this. A guy just wants to know what kind of woman he is dealing with and handle her accordingly. Really, we can find all this out by just being observant and listening. Women love to test guys. Women are like kids. You have to save them from themselves. They want to see how far they can go with you, if they can flake on you, if you can talk to him any kind of way. The way guys do this is to nip any test in the bud. Sometimes women will try to see what they can get away with by saying a slick comment, being combativtive, or disrepsectful in a passive aggressive way. We just have to make sure to check any disrespect at the door and this will avoid alot of problems.

Peadawg

April 13th, 2010
9:55 am

“Are the other guys going to chime in and say do they prefer a nice girl or an attitude girl?”

It depends on who the attitude is pointed towards. Girls can still be sassy and nice at the same time.

mqew

April 13th, 2010
9:56 am

I mentioned my brother’s girlfriend yesterday. It seems as if that’s the kind of image she likes to display (being a badass) but I don’t know her enough to say that’s definitely what it is. She was telling me a story where they were at a club and my brother was walking back from the restroom and his path was blocked by a much older woman who told him, “Man, you look good!” He said thanks and kept it moving. Well, my brother’s girl asked him loudly “What she say” and he told her and she then said loudly to the old lady, “Yes he does look good and he’s my man”. Well, the older lady didn’t give a crap I guess and the next time my brother passed her blocked his path again and did the HM M MMM! To him. Brother’s girl next, comment was “Please know that I will beat a bytch ass from 0- 80 years old!”

My point, okay the 0-80 is funny, but REALLY? Ain’t no way. She had nothing but pride about that whole situation. Laughing, joking with him about next time she just gonna beat him up cause now he’s been warned yada yada yada :-|

Randyt (the gal in the drive thru STILL has maybe 14 teeth))

April 13th, 2010
9:56 am

Hello all from England…but Friday Paris if the plane doesn’t go down. Can’t wait.

@WD I think all is answered in your statement: “The question is, would I want that kind of man for my own?” Different people are drawn to different women/men. Some men like the challenge of superbiotch. Some men like the meek wallflower types that they can push around (limp dykkked aholes, IMHO, but to each his own). Some like nice ladies with sophistication. One size does not fit all. So the answer is WHAT DO YOU WANT??? because he “aint” changing for you, ya dummy. He is what he is. So what do you want and be totally honest because you will be carrying that baggage for a long time perhaps…and any scars, real or emotional, that come with it.?

I personally do not like a “superwoman”. I like a woman with a strong personality and not afraid to tell me exactly what she thinks…but not with an attitude. She should have a brain, and a soft, vulnerable side. I do not like clinging vines who have never had an original thought themselves…and I certainly don’t want someone that walks ahead of me…or behind me either. I want a partner. but that is only me.

JH

April 13th, 2010
9:59 am

There aren’t any nice girls everyone has an agenda these days.

PrincessNik..Grinning & Glowing

April 13th, 2010
10:00 am

I want a partner. but that is only me

@ RandyT, its not just you. I want the ying to my yang. Someone who is strong in areas where I am weaker and vice versa.

BigDaddy

April 13th, 2010
10:01 am

Bad girls really do get the Bad Guys! Amazed at how even in the 21st Century many ladies still choose athletic but educationally challenged men over fit and educated men. Look at Jesse James as a great example. I doubt anyone would mistake him for a man of liberal based education. Yet, he winds up with a terrific wife and then people actually wonder why the divorce rates are so high.

Just a stupid shallow question to begin with.

Randyt (the gal in the drive thru STILL has maybe 14 teeth))

April 13th, 2010
10:01 am

In discussing which type of women men prefer, I also think that women need to ask this, “which kind of gals do they “hit and run” and which do they keep”?

Might not be the same answer.

lighteyes1276

April 13th, 2010
10:02 am

I am a nice girl and I got my prince charming. Yes I was tried in previous relationships and my kindness was taken for granted. Along came someone who appreciated my kindness and a year later he is still grateful and express it everyday! Yaaaaaay to my prince charming!

Melo

April 13th, 2010
10:04 am

Morning folks!!

Nice chics dont finish last,they finish first.However..and ladies,get this..bad chics..the Trina aggressive,loud types are exciting for the young and mobile guys…..in the beginning.

After all the sexx has been enjoyed,the fun is gone and its time to settle down,ofcourse most guys,unless they are stuck because the hit it raw and produced a Rugrat,warranting mummy-bad-chic and kid combo attention,they will want to look for that nice chic to settle down with.

I would recommend any nice chic out there not be discouraged by what the smoke and mirrors suggest.Bad chics neva win!

They are good for the young horny guys esp for the adrenalin,the sexx and the partying but their attractiveness fades like some cheap jean pants.

Nice wins at last!

Melo

April 13th, 2010
10:06 am

they hit it raw

mqew

April 13th, 2010
10:07 am

Carlito – I don’t get why it’s deemed nice. To me, that’s just being a level-headed person (shrug).

PNik – Exactly!

MDot – What’s our only trump card again? And I would think that a chic is NOT “nice” if they’re being manipulative and playing games. Furthermore – you’re dating some kids dude and it sounds like you need some more dating years, cause you’re generalizing. Women are NOT kids, and women don’t need to be saved etc…. SMDHATN

IDK...part deuce

April 13th, 2010
10:11 am

thumbs up Melo

Leggs

April 13th, 2010
10:12 am

Yes, nice girls finish last…I had a convo abt this about a month ago. I asked a past boyfriend why he married the nasty bytch (now divorced) over me. He said I was too nice for him back then. WTF’ever! Don’t try to come back to me. My DNA still spells NICE.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:

POPPAG
DEMI
JAMOCA….

I haven't seen one...

April 13th, 2010
10:12 am

There are no nice girls anymore, thats just the society we live in. I don’t think I’ve met a girl with values or morals in ten years. It has really been that long… All the girls now just want to go out and sleep with the biggest dirtbag they can find and then cry about it when said dirtbag proves that he is one. And thats on you ladies, so think about that.

Melo

April 13th, 2010
10:12 am

Please know that I will beat a bytch ass from 0- 80 years old!”

Mqew??

how old is ur brother and this chic??

Melo

April 13th, 2010
10:15 am

Leggs??

biatches do play a good game smetimnes and do get men in some instances…but thats the rare occassions we are talking about..as in ur example.

Nobody wants to sign on to foolishness for lyfe!

Happy brthday Demi/Jamoca/Poppa!!

Leggs,whats my birthday?? :lol:

Randyt (the gal in the drive thru STILL has maybe 14 teeth))

April 13th, 2010
10:19 am

@ Leggs you did the right thing for the right reasons. What “I haven’t seen one…” said is too true…and people take home exactly what they paid for. You obviously did not lose a thing with that loser.

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 13th, 2010
10:20 am

@mqew

The only trump card that you have is your package.

When I said women are like kids, I meant in the aspect that they try to test their boundaries and to see how far they can go and what they can get away with.

Of course I am generalizing, because its a general audience. You sound like it struck a nerve. Do you see yourself in the response?