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It’s not working

I can imagine that the “friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement has found its way into most of our lives.  Whether or we planned it or not, FWB doesn’t really have a long shelf-life.  I’m starting to think that this is probably for the best.

I wonder when is it a good idea to pull the plug on it though? When it stops working for you, what do you do? Are you stuck (ew, no pun intended) with them or do you think it’s legal to cut things off and back off?

I’ve heard some of my married friends say, “Girl, if I were single, I would be having a great time with that arrangement!”.  Yes well, I have a wonderful time being single, but getting an ideal friends with benefits arrangement started is about as complicated as getting a good relationship off the ground.

You have to find the right person who is trustworthy and drama-free. Then it helps if they are really hot and attracted to you too.  If I actually manage to locate this person, I’m not suggesting FWB status.  I’m looking at him in disbelief and wondering what I can cook him to impress him! Is it just me? Are there people you meet that actually make a good candidate for no strings attached hook ups?

If you get the Friends with benefits arrangement in place, when do you decide it’s a wrap? Would it take something drastic? Do you just outgrow the situation?

473 comments Add your comment

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
2:49 pm

Slim, I am hypo-allerginic.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
2:49 pm

Nik – well he’s the dummy for even stopping at a rim shop cause he saw your car.. Dummy.. I wouldnt have even played myself like that.. I wouldve smoove acted like I didnt see ya..

Willie Dynamite

April 7th, 2010
2:50 pm

Some might say dating is glorified prostitution”

And I would agree with that

Yep, just ask Riley from the Boondocks.

SexyCool

April 7th, 2010
2:50 pm

“The old dude gets the bad review after it’s over.”

Not necessarily – I have two exes that can help get me *there* just on the memory alone when I’m *loving myself.*

So – there are exceptions to even *that* rule.

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
2:50 pm

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 7th, 2010
2:50 pm

@Melo
when is the last time you took a blog vacay???? there’s time available now! for being you, you get an extra three more weeks a year.

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
2:51 pm

@DK

Dummy.. I wouldnt have even played myself like that

that’s all i’m saying homey

Elijah

April 7th, 2010
2:51 pm

I have read some of Ms. PrincessNik comments and she is in control.

Melo I see you still are the crazy man up in this joint!

When it comes to a woman if she is mature and focus any man that gives that satisfies her needs will not have a problem with any old dudes!

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 7th, 2010
2:52 pm

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
2:54 pm

i couldn’t have been a prostitute. i would’ve been horrible at it. LOL. i can’t take money from a man, cuz i have my own.
So you pay for yourself on every date.

So if dating is that…FWB is even worse.
Depends on what metric you’re using. If emotions are the metric, then I agree.

not always
I didn’t say that, but you probably see it more often than not.

Melo

April 7th, 2010
2:56 pm

So if dating is that…FWB is even worse

a notch lower!

Angie?

when is the last time you took a blog vacay????

NEVER..unless im sequestrated!

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
2:56 pm

Depends on what metric you’re using. If emotions are the metric, then I agree.

Well, prostitutes get paid. So if you’re dating, at you’re getting something out of it.

FWB is essentially just tricking it off. You main benefit is the sex.

So if dating is prostitution…FWB is just hoin

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
2:56 pm

I didn’t say that, but you probably see it more often than not

DreamsM you are probably right about that, i know plenty of chicks be bad mouthing old dude in public but “unconsiously” comparing the new dude to him.

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
2:57 pm

He took you out to dinner, wined and dined you or funded some other things and you gave him the ‘koo. You are a glorified prostitute.

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
2:57 pm

a notch lower!

melo – Agreed. And jumpoffs, even lower than that.

lurker

April 7th, 2010
2:58 pm

sequestrated

wonder if he was trying to type castrated

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
2:58 pm

He took you out to dinner, wined and dined you or funded some other things and you gave him the ‘koo. You are a glorified prostitute

C-Lo
do you recommend a return to arranged marriages :lol:

lurker

April 7th, 2010
2:58 pm

a notch lower!

melo – Agreed. And jumpoffs, even lower than that.

judgement judgement judgement….just wow

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
2:59 pm

Here comes Elijah with his cape on extra tight today.. Ol Sylvester a$$ dude..

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 7th, 2010
2:59 pm

@Dreams
i do my share on dates. i may pick up the parking tab, tip, snacks for the movies, etc. and just last week, i paid for dinner and he took care of the extras. i’m very fair when it comes to spending money. i appreciate my dates and i show this by not taking advantage.

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
2:59 pm

judgement judgement judgement….just wow

You make judgements everyday lurker, based on values and things you see. You should accept it by now. That’s life.

Melo

April 7th, 2010
3:00 pm

The old dude always gets the bad review after its over..

PrincessNik/Scool??

smetimes old dude gets a scrowl face from the old chic. U know when chic shapes her mouf ugly without muttering anything bad really about dude.

Usually,thats a good rep packaged in a old wrapping paper.

Usually means chic still pines for him,if only dude cld step to her correct! :lol:

That one aint bad! :lol:

Dig That

April 7th, 2010
3:01 pm

@DK- LMAO!!!! Boy you stupid but you know its always one.

Melo

April 7th, 2010
3:01 pm

wonder if he was trying to type castrated

Luker??

sequestrated not castrated!(google it?)

follow the discussion, and with whom,is that hard??

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
3:02 pm

PrincessNik, I wonder how many arranged marriages ended in divorce? Or cheating spouses. you may be on to something.

Melo, Have you heard any updates or aware of the kidnapping of Gemballa in South Africa? A lot of speculation on that.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
3:02 pm

Nik – Well what rim shop is this so I can come in there and tell homeboy his new chick just chose me.. And say now we can handle this like Gentlemen or we can get into some Gangsta ish..

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
3:03 pm

Dk

i almost spit out my water LMBO!

SlimCoo-Coo

April 7th, 2010
3:04 pm

FWB is just an even swap….swapping a good for another good, right? Not hoin lol

Beautiful *Absolutely cannot be you.....I'm way too busy being me*

April 7th, 2010
3:05 pm

it’s so pretty outside!!! y’all have fun. gonna take chewy for a jog/walk.

Melo be good! *snicker*

Melo

April 7th, 2010
3:05 pm

Gemballa in South Africa?

@Carlito?

nope,lemme check!

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
3:05 pm

Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved. LOL

Ever notice how christians are the one who judge people the most?

a$$play

April 7th, 2010
3:05 pm

Is a Craigslist or backpage girl considered a FWB? They accept “donations” so I guess they would be more a Charity vice friend.

Willie Dynamite

April 7th, 2010
3:06 pm

I would like to take this time to thank all my previous Jump-Offs, FWB’s, Wh*res, Cut-buddies, etc. etc.

You all have played a big part in making me the Man I am today. As I reflect back on all our good and bad times together I apologize for any ill-will that I may have caused. I would also like to say ‘You are Welcome’ in advance to any of your future BF’s or Husbands who think that you are good at what you do.

Sincurly,

Dynamite

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
3:07 pm

FWB is just an even swap….swapping a good for another good, right? Not hoin lol

Slim – We’re talking about where it would fall in the pecking order. Cuz dating isn’t actual prostitution either.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
3:07 pm

APlay – You are gonna end up jail homeboy messing with the professional talent..

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
3:07 pm

Willie D

CLASSIC!

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
3:08 pm

Melo, it happened in Johannesberg. Some say he is hiding from the law others say he is being held for ransom. A few shady types involved like that Czech gangster. This article scrapes the surface if you search you will find more information.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61M2HL20100223

Elijah

April 7th, 2010
3:10 pm

DK I have not had a good one with you in quite! Yes my cape is on and it’s time to protect the ladies! That is what I do!

DK where are you coaching bball at?

I coach on the westside of town! These kids have some good BB skillz?

SlimCoo-Coo

April 7th, 2010
3:10 pm

Ok, so on the topic of how the old dude gets the bad review…does that mean that feelings make bad sex seem better than it actually was…so when the love is gone, there also goes the fantasy of the bad sex appearing to be good???

btw, i’d say it’s not that often you get with someone who has tremendous sexual chemistry with you right off the bat…sometimes it may take a few practice swings before you hit the home run

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
3:10 pm

Is a Craigslist or backpage girl considered a FWB? They accept “donations” so I guess they would be more a Charity vice friend

If you are on Craigslist or backpage that means you are using all your child support and/or light bill money to get some puddy cat. You are like Richard Gere in Brooklyn’s Finest sitting outside waiting for “John” in front of you to finish.

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
3:10 pm

FWB is essentially just tricking it off. You main benefit is the sex.

So if dating is prostitution…FWB is just hoin
Then why call it Friends With Benefits? Let’s just call it Benefits…or hoin’. lol

i do my share on dates. i may pick up the parking tab, tip, snacks for the movies, etc. and just last week, i paid for dinner and he took care of the extras. i’m very fair when it comes to spending money. i appreciate my dates and i show this by not taking advantage.
I would dissect this based on your initial post, but I won’t. I’ll just say…ok. Good that you don’t take advantage though.

Lord Velonese

April 7th, 2010
3:12 pm

Gross topic, what’s the point if your not in a relationship, eewww Male/Female Whoreage.

SexyCool

April 7th, 2010
3:12 pm

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
3:12 pm

Speaking for all the ladies we love to see Eli fly through…he is pretty respectful

:smile:

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
3:13 pm

I think feelings can compensate for some sex that is not the greatest. If the basics are not there I can not imagine it getting to the point of to many feelings getting involved.

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
3:13 pm

Then why call it Friends With Benefits? Let’s just call it Benefits…or hoin’. lol

Keep up Dreams…we’re talking about it in the realm of trickin terms.

Dating isn’t ACTUAL prostitution, it was the analogy used.

Melo

April 7th, 2010
3:13 pm

Cuz dating isn’t actual prostitution either.

@Ared/Slim…

not quite like prostitution coz there is no quid pro quo when money is exchanged unlike in prostitution.

however the pudssy/dyckk beating can be quite comparable in dating as in prostitution.

Im sure there are some females here who got theirs pudssyies pretty beaten up bad,but wont admit it! :lol: :lol:

It sure tells when a puddsy is all folded up,looking like an old dying frog! :lol: :lol:

czBrat

April 7th, 2010
3:14 pm

does that mean that feelings make bad sex seem better than it actually was…so when the love is gone, there also goes the fantasy of the bad sex appearing to be good???
yup! :lol: :lol: :lol:

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

April 7th, 2010
3:15 pm

It does not matter what the title FWB, hoin,boyfriend,girlfriend. jump-offs, you bumping and grinding and not married it is all the same! Some get paid in cash for it, some get paid as the girlfriend and some just want the JOHNSON you get getting something! :wink:

Women want Johnson just like men do! :smile; Ain’t that right sexycool? :smile:

SexyCool

April 7th, 2010
3:15 pm