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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

It’s not working

I can imagine that the “friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement has found its way into most of our lives.  Whether or we planned it or not, FWB doesn’t really have a long shelf-life.  I’m starting to think that this is probably for the best.

I wonder when is it a good idea to pull the plug on it though? When it stops working for you, what do you do? Are you stuck (ew, no pun intended) with them or do you think it’s legal to cut things off and back off?

I’ve heard some of my married friends say, “Girl, if I were single, I would be having a great time with that arrangement!”.  Yes well, I have a wonderful time being single, but getting an ideal friends with benefits arrangement started is about as complicated as getting a good relationship off the ground.

You have to find the right person who is trustworthy and drama-free. Then it helps if they are really hot and attracted to you too.  If I actually manage to locate this person, I’m not suggesting FWB status.  I’m looking at him in disbelief and wondering what I can cook him to impress him! Is it just me? Are there people you meet that actually make a good candidate for no strings attached hook ups?

If you get the Friends with benefits arrangement in place, when do you decide it’s a wrap? Would it take something drastic? Do you just outgrow the situation?

473 comments Add your comment

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
11:48 am

a$$play does your wife have indescretions too? does it bother you?

I was going to ask the same thing, and if she does how do you feel about going behind another man when she is your wife

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
11:48 am

I guess you’ve heard of my reputation,
I’ve had my share of foolin’ around.
But everybody needs stimulation,
and mine just happens to be all over town.
It’s an easy-money occupation,
a first-class psychiatry.

Kym-Homeowner!!!

April 7th, 2010
11:49 am

Welcome all new bloggers, springbreakers, and trolls!!!

Dig That

April 7th, 2010
11:49 am

Guys a$$play may not have answers to those questions because from the excuses he has already given, he just needed a way to justify his lack of discipline and respect. Not judging the dude but all the other stuff is not necessary. You found some booty on the side and got all up in it.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
11:50 am

I guess you’ve heard of my reputation,
I’ve had my share of foolin’ around.
But everybody needs stimulation,
and mine just happens to be all over town.
It’s an easy-money occupation, a first-class psychiatry.

Dig That

April 7th, 2010
11:51 am

@Jerilu- You are more than welcomed to blog my friend. There is no monopoly.

@Professor- How are you today?

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
11:52 am

I guess you’ve heard of my reputation, I’ve had my share of foolin’ around.
But everybody needs stimulation, and mine just happens to be all over town.

RelldaRake

April 7th, 2010
11:54 am

lol…a$$play…you are funny..my dude said not bad….lol…………..whats funny is dude is telling you the real…when i was married i got more “lunch” offers than i do now…lol….tell it dude

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
11:54 am

Hey Dig That I am doing well today, thanks for asking. How are you? You are right, Jerilu is welcome to the blog. BTW Jerilu if you have lurked and read me you already know I am not in a click or monopoly :wink:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
11:55 am

But everybody needs stimulation, and mine just happens to be all over town.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
11:55 am

It’s an easy-money occupation, a first-class psychiatry.

Dig That

April 7th, 2010
11:56 am

Guess you heard of my reputation. Had my share of fooling around.

@Professor- I’m good. Taking a lil vacation next week and will hidden in the mountains for a bout a week and I can’t wait.

RelldaRake

April 7th, 2010
11:57 am

ladies….some men dont care if another man goes behind him…..the current man may know he married a sl ut and is more upset about that….get over yourselfs and think a bit more….not all women who are wifes are good ones and not all men are good husbands….stop thinking what you would do in that situation BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW..marriage is a different set of emotions…some of you armchair quarterbacks have NO CONCEPT of what it takes…

a$$play

April 7th, 2010
11:58 am

No sping breaker or Troll … @ work and have a real nice job. Just being honest. I can identilfy w/ Tiger and Jesse cause I am just as big a dumbass! If you read from before… My Wife puts out like were still on our honeymoon. I lost respect cause she just gave up on everything…house, self… I tried for 2 years to get her to turn the corner. Just wanted to move on. As for the “wht if she did the same stuff?” I think I have become immune to it and would only be pissed cause I might have my face in it … after some dude. That is the only reason it would bother me.

I am just being honest here… I do deserve to be the whipping boy today.

Let’s put it this way… In counseling I told my Dr. “I am an alcoholic who knows the drink will kill him. Knows that he must put down the drink…. but on the other hand CHOOSES not to.

a$$play

April 7th, 2010
11:58 am

Gotta go to lunch…be gentle. BTW blog isn’t about me.

RelldaRake

April 7th, 2010
12:02 pm

I lost respect cause she just gave up on everything…house, self… I tried for 2 years to get her to turn the corner.

–i wonder how many women will say i would never do that…really..now think about the million “i am going to lose a few LBS after the new year/summer/etc etc etc” talk….

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 7th, 2010
12:05 pm

APlay – Dude looks like you need a therapist and a personal trainer… Your problems are minor.. A therapist to work on you and a trainer to work on her.. Cause what you bout to throw away for whats in the streets aint worth it..

Dig That

April 7th, 2010
12:09 pm

BTW blog isn’t about me

Huh?

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
12:14 pm

I do not view the blog as clicky, everyone is nice. Except for one :)

I don’t agree that any sort of b*tchy is good for the male ego. I am just a man though, so what do I know. LOL

Kym-Homeowner!!!

April 7th, 2010
12:17 pm

@DK doesnt sound like he is trying to toss old girl away more like he is looking for a A team, B team, and some rookies to train. And if wife knows sounds like she has the wrong end of the stick if she thinks by giving up the booty anytime he wants it will keep him in the house. Mr APlay is missing something else from wifey other than booty. IMO

SexyCool

April 7th, 2010
12:19 pm

Kym-Homeowner!!!

April 7th, 2010
12:21 pm

Carlito I didnt say any sort..just everynow and then a woman needs to go off..no man I don’t care what he says likes a doormat or a yes girl..that gets old real quick.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 7th, 2010
12:21 pm

Mr APlay is missing something else from wifey other than booty.

Sounds like she has a high level of low self esteem….

lurker

April 7th, 2010
12:22 pm

I do not view the blog as clicky, everyone is nice.

Carlito, Carlito, Carlito

SexyCool

April 7th, 2010
12:23 pm

FWB – Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. (Shocker, right? LOL)

Oh well…as I learn better, I make better decisions and have a better life.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 7th, 2010
12:23 pm

just everynow and then a woman needs to go off..

Uhh huh….have his azz sittin there like :shock:

wha had happened??

Luvbug

April 7th, 2010
12:26 pm

just everynow and then a woman needs to go off

Kym – LOL

Just out of the blue or with reason?

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
12:34 pm

lurker, well except for the odd instance yesterday. I forgot about that.

An unexplained, b*tchy moment will have a woman sitting in alone for a moment. Just give her the “you are crazy” look and walk away for a moment. Excellent time to practice the golf swing or work on the car suspension.

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
12:35 pm

@A–Play, how long did the affair last? Why all of the one night stands? I hope you wrap that pig in a blanket while you are out there grooving.

I am looking for Melo, Leggs, czBrat, Dream_n and ARed?

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
12:36 pm

I see it’s fire in here…that’s good though.

Carlito Here’s the link to the rot breeder’s website. He breeds show dogs. You can view pedigree, certificates, immunizations and everything online. Not sure if you’re interested, but his wife breeds boxers.

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
12:40 pm

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp–
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well..
I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must’ve made a mistake.
‘And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber – give me a clue.’
‘Hush, child,’ He said, ‘they’re all in shock.
No one thought they’d be seeing you.’

JUDGE NOT!!
Remember…Just going to church doesn’t make you a
Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
Every saint has a PAST…Every sinner has a FUTURE!

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
12:42 pm

Afternoon all…who left the gate open? It’s like a troll party in here. :lol:

FWB…never could handle such an arrangement. I value myself too much. And I think about the “costs” instead of the benefits, so no thanks.

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
12:43 pm

Carlito
guess it would’ve been nice if I actually put the link in there huh

http://www.abraxusrotts.com/home.html

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
12:43 pm

Kym – Congrats to you!!! Homeownership is so satisfying!

DreamsMaterialize

April 7th, 2010
12:48 pm

Now, were I a follower of one of the main religions, I imagine I wouldn’t be having sex outside of marriage…no matter what I called it Boyfriend/Girlfriend, dating, engaged, FWB…
Please show me one “follower” you know, directly or indirectly, who has done this. lol

SlimCoo-Coo

April 7th, 2010
12:48 pm

Dang, yall been fired up today….did you all forget it’s Spring Break, which tends to be the cause of all the trolls in here….Next year, I say we hire an exterminator. :lol: Anyhoo, why is the only gender being ostrisized in a FWB situation, the chick…is there not a man in that equation as well?

Had a FWB situation before some years ago and it worked out just fine…boy did we have some good chemistry. :mrgreen: But I’m a little older now and want a little more than just a warm body for an hour or two, or a weekend shut in….or…you get the drift

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
12:51 pm

Dreams, thank you for the link. :) I was highlighting your post looking for it. LOL

czBrat

April 7th, 2010
12:52 pm

Hola Profesora! what have i missed? did i see someone posting about multiple affairs and one-nighters? UGH! anywho … my heart goes out to all the allergy-sufferers. oh, and to that guy’s wife as well. :lol:

on topic …. did the FWB thing few years back and there was no lack of self-respect involved. just didn’t want to be ‘in a relatioship’ and we happened to have great chemistry. ultimately, he wanted to take it to another level but i still didn’t, so the benefits ended and we still remain friends.

Carlito

April 7th, 2010
12:53 pm

No puppies available. :(

Luvbug

April 7th, 2010
12:57 pm

Dreams – LOL. That was my point. I can name two though, but that’s next to nothing…when I consider all the people I come across who are dating and sexing people they have not planned to marry or who don’t plan to marry them…but somehow that’s not FWB.

That’s as funny to me as religious folks with 90 day sex rules. Either you believe in sex outside of marriage or you don’t…all that making titles and conditions to prove you’re a more pious wh0re than the next is a waist, if you subscribe to a right and wrong way (book) of life.

Bible Belt What?

lurker

April 7th, 2010
12:57 pm

Why are people so offended to state the obvious? If anyone (be it me, you, them, us, we, ya’ll) kill, steal, fornicate, lie, hate, backbite….WE become guilty!!! To say or state it is not judging. If I compare you to myself and all the good I do and none of the wrong I ever commit, that’s judging. If I kill someone and someone says to me killing is wrong…THEY ARE NOT JUDGING…it is what it is. WE HAVE ALL SINNED, COMMITTED SIN, OF A SINFUL NATURE and all better pray and stay before God or else you’ll find yourself back at it. Oh, and “just going to church” ain’t a bad thing…at least it’s a start. Just like you don’t want to be judged for not going to church, folks that go to church don’t want to be judged because they do.

SlimCoo-Coo

April 7th, 2010
12:59 pm

During the time I had my FWB, it was at a perfect time…after a break up. Had so much stress that I needed to get rid of over, and over, and over and over again. :lol: What’s that saying, something about the best way to get over one person is to get up under another…. :-D

czBrat

April 7th, 2010
1:00 pm

Slim we are ————> here <—————

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
1:01 pm

During the time I had my FWB, it was at a perfect time…after a break up.

I watched 16 and Pregnant last night. The girl broke up with her boyfriend and hooked up with a rebound guy. She got pregnant with twins by the hook up.

Ouch. :lol:

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
1:03 pm

Hey czBrat!

You have not missed anything, but a few trolls. I was thinking you and a few others were on vacation on something.

@Luvbug, I agree with your post, but you know a lot of folks are just spiritual, which means they don’t have to follow any rules

PrincessNik..T.G.I.F.Thank God I'm Fabulous

April 7th, 2010
1:04 pm

as I learn better, I make better decisions and have a better life

and that’s whats up!

lurker

April 7th, 2010
1:04 pm

Dreams/Luvbug – we’ve have folks to come on here before and speak to abstaining. I for one am. You’re absolutely right. FWB, relationship, whatever…it’s all the same. It’s ain’t easy Lord knows it ain’t easy but currently my status is NO SEX. If it will make some folks feel better, I’ve fallen off a couple of times but I get back on it, especially with opportunites all around me but it’s a personal, spiritual choice. No matter to cobweb jokes and stuff. For me, it’s the right thing to do in my walk.

AmazonRed™

April 7th, 2010
1:07 pm

Now, were I a follower of one of the main religions, I imagine I wouldn’t be having sex outside of marriage…no matter what I called it Boyfriend/Girlfriend, dating, engaged, FWB…

I am a follower. With this one I’ve tried. I’ve failed.

Fortunately, it’s easy when I’m not seeing someone. My needs just have to wait. :lol:

SlimCoo-Coo

April 7th, 2010
1:07 pm

Ared – I saw the preview for that show but I missed it though. I think they should make teens watch that show in school to see real life struggles with young moms…trying to balance the newfound responsibility with the pull of still wanting to be a kid.

The "preaching" Professor

April 7th, 2010
1:08 pm

…stepping out!