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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Romantically Challenged

Romantically Challenged is a new show that will be premiering this month on ABC, starring Alyssa Milano, of all people!   I’m sorry but it is awfully hard to believe that Alyssa Milano is romantically challenged in any way.  Nonetheless,  I’m curious to see the “romantic challenges”  her character faces on the dating scene in this show.

After all of my misadventures (and yours too) I probably could serve as a consultant for the writers of this show.  I definitely have had those moments when I feel romantically challenged.  Just when I think I have found a dating groove (not as sexy as it sounds, believe me), I hit a snag with men.  Either I choose the wrong type or get confused by mixed signals.  That’s when I pretty much check out on the relationship angle altogether.

Maybe we are all challenged in some way though, right? (RIGHT!?)  I can recall a couple of exes that seemed pretty clueless about navigating a relationship.  It was exhausting at times! I didn’t want that role and the dynamics of this kind of a relationship is pretty awkward.

Do you know how uncomfortable it is explaining to a grown man that just because he ticked me off doesn’t mean I want him out of my life altogether?  Have you ever dated someone who needed to be guided about the inner workings of a relationship?

What do you think you learned from the experience? What did you learn about yourself?

What do you think makes you romantically challenged? If you are lucky enough to have it all figured out, please enlighten the rest of us.

492 comments Add your comment

Dig That

April 6th, 2010
11:36 am

Do you know how uncomfortable it is explaining to a grown man that just because he ticked me off doesn’t mean I want him out of my life altogether?

I see we have all had opinions about this one thing and I see it stuck out to a few of us. I agree with abc. It sounds like what being ticked off consist of. If you get ticked and start acting like a maniac, then that is the clue to leave because clearly you are not in control of your emotions or care enough to convey this to me without the drama or sense of cool that is necessary to get your message across. That would make me wanna dip too.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 6th, 2010
11:37 am

this past weekend did me in. Everything was to perfect, weather, beach lol.

You are not alooone….shot out to the gone but not forgotten M J.

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:38 am

DK – I love Jill, Lauryn, & Chaka too!

Love Anita Bofill too

I tried to do
The best I can for you
But it seems
It’s not enough

And you know I care
Even when you’re not there
Don’t you think I’m good enough
For you?

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:38 am

Dig That, crazy lady symptoms will make any man flee expeditiously.

Dig That

April 6th, 2010
11:38 am

@The Truth- The truth is you are not digging this chick. Sounds like you were looking for more than the booty, so don’t string her along and waste her time and yours. It’s precious, you can’t get it back and some other dude might really enjoy her.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:40 am

Ladies are telling him to man up, and the gentleman are telling him to not take advantage of the lady. Truth, you have your answer. :)

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
11:41 am

@InfamousD ~ I thoroughly agree with you. If you can take the calling out, don’t do the calling.

@LURKER :arrow: “Tone and the type of words used are very instrumental in resolving a situation.” Mama use to tell me all the time “it’s not what you said, but how you said it.” Gotcha!

Dig That

April 6th, 2010
11:42 am

@Leggs- How you feeling today? I hope a little better. I had a bug last week and I never get sick. Vitamin C & D will do the trick. Only lasted a day and I felt much better.

@I am- I didn’t know you were in an accident. I must have missed. I hope you are well

DreamsMaterialize

April 6th, 2010
11:44 am

Sure they will….these same people are not living.
Everyone protects their hearts from pain, to some extent. Does that mean they’re not living? It’s really only for them to decide what living is to them.

Or you get afraid at the least little thing or use it as an excuse to leave.
Different people deal with this in different ways. What’s little to one might be huge to someone else. That’s where the communication comes in. If you have an issue with me, then let’s discuss it and see where we stand at the end of the discussion. If it’s something that can’t be resolved, then maybe it’s best that I leave, even if you don’t want me to.

and the chick doesn’t understand it, even when I point out that they’re always starting fights, and I don’t care to fight — it’s not necessary to be so unpleasant. That they don’t understand that is an example of their fighting nature.
Absolutely on point.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:45 am

I found the song

The Lady’s Verse- “2 years ago, promises is all I heard, wait a minute, let me finish
2 years ago, promises is all I heard, out of your mouth
Now you wanna walk away boy, and tear down the walls in this house
You used to tell me sweet things, sweet things in the morning time
Now all you do is hurt me, and think that everything is fine
Now who was there for you, when your ass was out of work
All by myself, taking little man to church
So quick to hang up the phone, when I step, in the room
Then you want to turn it all around, I’m gettin tired of playing fool”

The Guys Verse-”2 years ago, didn’t know you had male friends, wait a minute, let me finish
2 years ago, didn’t know you had male friends, off up in college
I found out you’re still reaching out to some of them, Mrs. Busy Body
You used to listen to me, when you were down and lost
But now, you don’t even respect me, ever since I got laid off

Now who gave you money, when your a** was broke, without a doubt
And even though lil’ man is not my child, I made him mine, hm-hm
So quick to run to your friends, and talk about, what we do in this house
And then you wanna party all night long, what the hell you talking ’bout”

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:46 am

Truth – Whatever.. Just put her in rotation.. Or you can say.. Hey Baby its not you its me or Im just afraid right now to love anyone.. You know the oligatory cop outs.. Either way she’s not getting the motor running for you Ole Chap and in the end you already know what’ll happen.. If you keepin it 1 hunnid with yaself.. Cause we dudes aint like Babes we cant learn to love a woman, you know we know what it is dang near off top.. In the end all of the above will end up happening and the question is do you wanna put here thru that?

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:47 am

Truth, you need a horse

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:48 am

That’s where the communication comes in. If you have an issue with me, then let’s discuss it and see where we stand at the end of the discussion.

Dreams – That’s all I would ask of anyone.

abc

April 6th, 2010
11:50 am

No so, SexyCool. There are better ways to deal with things than to succumb to negative emotional reactions. Some folks will deal with it, usually if they’re that way themselves. That would seem to be what you’d need in a man, maybe he’d consider that to be a normal part of the relationship, too.

But, to me, that sounds like a lifetime of fighting waiting to happen. That ain’t my thing! I thank God for the intelligence, thoughtfulness and serenity of my girl. It’s not that I never do things she disagrees with; it IS that she can tell me about it with genuine caring and a smile, which I’m more than happy to accommodate. I’d do about anything she wanted anyway, and she knows it. Likewise, if I have a complaint or problem with her, we pile up on the sofa and talk it over.

Different strokes. I like my way, you like yours.

Luvbug

April 6th, 2010
11:52 am

Myself, I have a cool demeanor but a quick temper on somethings, but only those I care about can cause that temper to flare. Odd I know, but if I don’t care about a person I don’t care enough to get myself riled up at all no matter what they do.

Carlito- I’m the same way. To add, if I’ve been with a guy for a while and he has done something completely outrageous and I haven’t batted an eye, I’m half gone already and he’s headed for voice mail status. All bags packed…I’m out.

You’ve got >1, 2, d@mn all that < this many times.

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:52 am

Carlito: I loved you when you were on your horse!

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
11:52 am

The Truth needs to change his name to Cloudy Mind! You’re gut is already telling you what to do….pay attention! You’re not feeling this woman so stop stringing her along, esp if she’s feeling more than you!

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:54 am

I Am, I am on a horse, backwards.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:54 am

abc – did you not read me saying that just because I get angry that doesn’t mean that I have to respond in anger?

I’m not an arguing kinda chick. I’m a discusser. But that doesn’t mean that I have not been angry at some point. It just means that I know how to deal with that emotion and not put it on my partner.

(At least not on a consistent basis, because please believe…I ain’t perfect. I do miss the mark from time to time.)

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 6th, 2010
11:54 am

we pile up on the sofa and talk it over.

That’s what’s up :)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:55 am

Ok I got another one for you… Alisa Peoples.. From Yarbrough and Peoples.. Listen to that “Dont waste your time” Or old girl from Loose Ends Jane Eugene.. I like the sultry voices and I dont get that these days..

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:55 am

Cause we dudes aint like Babes we cant learn to love a woman,

DK – Well, this is one babe who could never LEARN to love a man. Either it’s there or it’s not. I’ve gotten put down for that, but I have to be true to myself first, before I can be true to someone else.

The Truth – You know what “the truth” is. You’re just not into her. A lot of times that happens with otherwise great people we meet. We feel we SHOULD love them because they are a good person and there is nothing wrong with them. But you can’t force love. It almost never turns out well, for both parties involved. You both are deserving of more.

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
11:55 am

Awww, I just received a nice compliment. I was told I was “sizzling in my red!”

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
11:56 am

Truth – Whatever.. Just put her in rotation..

*tsk* *tsk*

“I bust the windows out yo caaaaaaaaaaar…”

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:57 am

Carlito if you are on your horse backwards,…then …um….
nevermind: too easy

Shelf life on muscle relaxer , I belive it expires in June.

Dig: thanks !!!!

I’m feeling a little better

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:58 am

You
You got me hangin on a string
I’m not your play thing

You got to tell me you were waiting
Contemplating

abc

April 6th, 2010
11:58 am

Nobody’s perfect! I have my own angry buttons. I tend to go off by myself when people push them.

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:58 am

time for my P90x…………

Laterz……

DreamsMaterialize

April 6th, 2010
11:58 am

Dreams – That’s all I would ask of anyone.
Ha! seems so simple that everyone should know it right? lol

The Truth
If you have to convince someone else that you’re right for them, walk away. If you have to convince yourself that someone is right for you, do the same.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:59 am

I Am, easy is the point :)

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
11:59 am

@Iam ~ that’s why he keeps getting lost!

Dig That

April 6th, 2010
12:00 pm

One simple concept above all in my relations is that we can agree to disagree. I won’t blow up at you for every little thing and you damn sho won’t do it to me. I watched those kind of relationships growing up as a child. Nothing is accomplished. Yelling at each other and nothing resolved, only ends because somebody is all screamed out. I’m grateful to realize that is not healthy.

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
12:00 pm

@kimmie ~ love that song!

You never told me you were waiting, contemplating.
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

I ain’t your play thing…..

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
12:01 pm

ARED – Well maybe not the ride but….

He cant put her in rotation.. He likes her.. He’s invested time in wanting to make her his girl and something hasnt clicked yet with him.. He cant let her go because he knows she’s a good girl and would hate to see her with another dude.. But as Kurt Blow said… These are the breaks..

By the way you only put someone in rotation if youre just not that into them..

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
12:01 pm

Me too, abc. Cause I’m like David Banner – you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

(Or I get all my anger out with my most trusted besties so that I can present a calmer, more rational front to him.)
Cause I know that SexyCool’s first name is CRAZY!!! And he don’t need to deal with all of my crazy. Trust.

abc – we’re almost agreeing. (wonders never cease.) LOL!

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
12:01 pm

Ha! seems so simple that everyone should know it right? lol

Dreams – Common sense ain’t so common!lol

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
12:05 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQPMCxI4Ozs&feature=related

Hey see if you can guess who the dude picking her up in the car is..

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
12:09 pm

He cant let her go because he knows she’s a good girl and would hate to see her with another dude..

Atlanta is full of selfish cowards. Pity.

DK – 3 weeks is hardly an investment of time. Come on now.

“If your heart isn’t in it, why don’t you tell me so….” – Atlantic Starr

i'm swiss

April 6th, 2010
12:11 pm

@ The Truth — I’ll cosign what most everyone else is telling you. If you’re not feeling it, you’ve got to cut her loose. Stringing it along will only make things worse.

Incidentally, you’re not THE Truth, are you? Doesn’t sound like the old Truth that I remember…

Totally off topic: It’s official. I’m showing up to my next flight buck-nekkid, with my only carry-on attached firmly between my legs and if anybody has anything to say, they can kiss my lily-white swiss arse. These d@mn airlines just won’t quit, will they? :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
12:13 pm

ARED – Ahh I was about to go there with Atlantic Starr..

3 weeks to a man is a lifetime.. He shut it down for 3 weeks for her.. Almost a whole month.. Do you know how much jumping couldve occured in that time frame..

Seriously.. The dilemma is this.. He knows shes a good girl and is everything he needs but just cant understand why he doesnt like her when all indicators suggets he should..

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
12:16 pm

just cant understand why he doesnt like her when all indicators suggets he should..

That SHOULD is why a lot of people stay in unhappy relationships. He’s nice/she’s nice, so I SHOULD love him/her! WRONG!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
12:18 pm

Kimmie – And if if was a fifth we’d all be funked up.. Yeah that shoulda coulda woulda is a mugg..

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
12:21 pm

Seriously.. The dilemma is this.. He knows shes a good girl and is everything he needs but just cant understand why he doesnt like her when all indicators suggets he should..

DK – I know how to read. I know what his dilemma is. ;)

His dilemma is EXACTLY why he needs to move on. She’ll respect him in the long run for giving her space to find the right one.

And the funny thing about men is…after we’re gone, you can really assess how much value (or drama) we brought to your life. If he realizes he’s lost a good thing, maybe that’s the jolt he’ll need to really appreciate her.

There are tons of “good on paper” chicks out there. Not all of them are gonna be the chick for you. Both parties are having their time wasted right now.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
12:22 pm

So I got to get up earrrrrrrly in the morning, to try and find me another lover.

I do like the gap band

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
12:23 pm

Make my funk the P Funk I want to get funked up.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 6th, 2010
12:23 pm

That SHOULD is why a lot of people stay in unhappy relationships. He’s nice/she’s nice, so I SHOULD love him/her! WRONG!.

YES,YES and YES…dude knows what he needs to do but he’s being a little moist about it…let her know so she can go….she’ll only end up being angry/bitter with you in the end if she gets strung along and that’s selfish on dude’s part. And what if she does some cwazy,I done lost my mind cause this fool just played me type isht.

and yes I meant “cwazy”.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
12:24 pm

But…who is *this* conflicted after three weeks?

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
12:26 pm

ARED – If he explains it right she might get to the “I dont care about the other girls, just be good to me” or “Let the music play, he wont get away” You know..

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
12:27 pm

dude knows what he needs to do but he’s being a little moist about it…

:lol: @ moist

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
12:28 pm

Funky EYE- talion

I want the bomb, I want to the P Funk. I want my funk uncut