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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Romantically Challenged

Romantically Challenged is a new show that will be premiering this month on ABC, starring Alyssa Milano, of all people!   I’m sorry but it is awfully hard to believe that Alyssa Milano is romantically challenged in any way.  Nonetheless,  I’m curious to see the “romantic challenges”  her character faces on the dating scene in this show.

After all of my misadventures (and yours too) I probably could serve as a consultant for the writers of this show.  I definitely have had those moments when I feel romantically challenged.  Just when I think I have found a dating groove (not as sexy as it sounds, believe me), I hit a snag with men.  Either I choose the wrong type or get confused by mixed signals.  That’s when I pretty much check out on the relationship angle altogether.

Maybe we are all challenged in some way though, right? (RIGHT!?)  I can recall a couple of exes that seemed pretty clueless about navigating a relationship.  It was exhausting at times! I didn’t want that role and the dynamics of this kind of a relationship is pretty awkward.

Do you know how uncomfortable it is explaining to a grown man that just because he ticked me off doesn’t mean I want him out of my life altogether?  Have you ever dated someone who needed to be guided about the inner workings of a relationship?

What do you think you learned from the experience? What did you learn about yourself?

What do you think makes you romantically challenged? If you are lucky enough to have it all figured out, please enlighten the rest of us.

492 comments Add your comment

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
10:53 am

Best to disagree without being harsh nor attacking. I mean how far is to far? Some have serpent tongues and are just rude. Then they let that attitude dominate for days upon days. I would not blame a person for leaving in that situation. Sign of things to come or how one resolves conflict? Maybe

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
10:53 am

Leggs, I ran into I Am with my truck :)

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
10:54 am

Gladys can not just sing, she can SANG!

Amred – Funny you mention Luther, I was listening to one of his songs on the radio last week thinking, man, we lost a great one when we lost him! He sounds so wonderful. Sorry, I’m just not a J Hud fan. She sings well, just not really my style. I couldn’t stand Living Without You when the first Dreamgirls was out, always thought it was overkill, so I was not enthralled with her version. Nothing against her though.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
10:58 am

Carlito – I agree with your 1053a. The other part of having a disagreement and being angry is being able to manage the emotions and communicate in a way that will allow you to address the issue.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
10:58 am

Patti Labelle has some pipes as well. Somebody Loves You Baby. She put’s her all into that song

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
10:59 am

…and people will go great lengths to protect their hearts to avoid feeling pain again.

Sure they will….these same people are not living. You can’t live life and not experience pain. You can minimize it, but you can’t remove it entirely from your life.

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
10:59 am

Carlito/Dreams, I’m not talking about going off on someone rudely or leaving something open & unresolved. Those are obvious. I’m talking about a situation where you feel you have to walk on eggshells. The minute something is not sunshine & roses, everything grinds to a halt. Or you get afraid at the least little thing or use it as an excuse to leave.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:01 am

ARED – Speaking of J HUD.. I was flipping channels and saw her dude PUNK on WWE last night with Raw cut into his head. Yep Wrasslin! Along with that dude from the real world “The MIZ”.. I was like this is why I watch The UFC..

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:01 am

SexyCool, How are you:) Did you get the alfredo directions yesterday? You have to tell me how it all comes out. Oh yeah, you can get marsala wine at almost any liquor store :)

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:02 am

Kimmie, those actions mask some sort of insecurity IMO. Sounds like you described a puppy who hears a loud noise, LOL

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:03 am

Saw JHud when she was at The Fox last year. She has a way powerful voice with ONE volume setting – ALL THE WAY TURNED UP. My ears were ringing by the time she left the stage. I felt like she had yelled at me the whole time.

As for her music – the only song that I *really* like is “If This Isn’t Love” and “Spotlight” is kinda catchy. As to the Jennifer Holliday remake – I ain’t ever been to crazy about that song – her version or the original.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:04 am

But she *looks* great in those Weight Watcher commercials.

Leggs

April 6th, 2010
11:04 am

@Carlito ~ put I am on your horse and ride with her on the beach massaging her back.

I see nothing wrong with calling someone “on the carpet.” If a person walks away w/o addressing the problem simply because their feelings are hurt then there are bigger issues at hand w/communication being at the top and ego being second in line. There’s suppose to be disagreements in relationships. To always leave all arguments with a sour taste in your mouth clearly should show you’re with the wrong person!

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
11:04 am

Wrasslin!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Dang, recession indeed. Didn’t he go to Harvard? :shock:

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:07 am

Hey Carlito. I am doing GREAT today!!! Life is grand!

The recipes were actually for a gf that lives in DC, but I sent them to her and she is really excited. I think she plans on making both recipes this week. I will let you know what she says about how she did with ‘em.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:08 am

Leggs, If I massage her back while riding the horse that mean she is in front of me on the horse. Nope she has to ride behind me.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:09 am

SexyCool, ahhhh I see now :)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:10 am

Leggs – Its all how you do it though.. Then you have to think who are you to be calling someone on the carpet and can you take it when someone calls you on the carpet? I have noticed the ones that do alot of calling folks to the carpet usually cant take it when someone does it to them..

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:11 am

Balack Orama, I need a bail out for my taxes owed. I am thinking of joining the Tediot Party and start a movement not to pay taxes. :)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:11 am

and most times calling someone on the carpet means youre talking at them instead of to them..

Angel

April 6th, 2010
11:12 am

I don’t know about being romantically challenged, but really getting to know someone is challenging. I guess for me the challenge is to find out who they are and just decide weather or not that’s what I want to deal with…and visa-verse.

I’m still learning my mans love language….do I like it all or understand it all…heyl naw…but as long as what he has to say or what he does concerning me comes from a place of love…I’m good!

Relationships take work…..I’m glad that I’m seriously dating and not casually dating….I really don’t think I have it in me right now to learn another person with the care that I am giving this relationship.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:13 am

When I hear the phrase “calling someone on the carpet”, I think of the principal’s office, discipline, chastisement and words like that.

I shouldn’t have to discipline another adult. We should be able to address issues as equals.

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:13 am

Carlito – Puppy, yeah, good way describe it. Either way, a romantic “challenge” I have a hard time working with. I admit I have faults like every other human, but unreasonable & dramatic are not words you would use to describe me. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with issues from a prior relationship. That’s baggage, which is another romantic challenge!LOL!

abc

April 6th, 2010
11:14 am

I’ve heard arguments in favor of conflict and dispute as a normal part of a relationship, and it’s interesting to me to note that even those are arguments.

Getting upset is a problem; anger in itself IS a problem. When you bring an angry confrontation, maybe you expect an angry response, or perhaps a capitulating one. I consider all of that to be unnecessary drama. I figure it speaks of immaturity, self-absorption, and selfishness. You want it your way; you consider yourself entitled enough to having your way that you allow yourself to vent angrily on the other.

That is a stark contrast to a simple discussion, without all the angry drama. I’ll go for that. Any conflict can be resolved in a simple, thoughtful and considerate discussion. Bring me the anger a few times, I’m over it, and will certainly let you have at it with anyone ELSE you want. It’s happened to me at least several times, and the chick doesn’t understand it, even when I point out that they’re always starting fights, and I don’t care to fight — it’s not necessary to be so unpleasant. That they don’t understand that is an example of their fighting nature.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:14 am

Infamous, yes I agree. Your post reminds me of an R. Kelly song. When the woman is going off on him, but then R. Kelly had to remind her of some things about herself

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:15 am

Booooo @ Carlito

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:16 am

Sessy – Yeah and thats how I would look at it.. Like seriously.. This chick is calling me on the carpet.. And get like ole boy on half baked.. F you, F you, F you.. Youre cool and F you. Im Out!!

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:16 am

SexyCool, I have to discipline adults sometimes. She’s a bad, so I have to spank her :)

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:16 am

SCool – I can’t take the “yellers”, that type of diva singing! Patti can be like that. You pair her with JHud, Mariah & such & you have a Yell Fest, to see who can out-yell the other. Patti is good when she just sings the song! I love her “If Only You Knew” because she just sweetly sings it & puts the yelling aside.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:16 am

I Am, you know you love me. :)

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:19 am

Leggs: someone rearened me yesterday. Car not damaged but back hurt a little.
I took a muscle relaxer last night (would you belive I had some left from when someone rear-ended me last year in June!!) and feeling a little better.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:20 am

I dont know about yellers but I like the Jills, the Anitas and the Lauryns (before she went bonker doodles.)

LURKER (The most interesting LURKER on The MIA blog)

April 6th, 2010
11:20 am

Whoa……….Did I just read KIMMIE state she has HUMAN faults…..WTH is going on? Kimmie you know you are the shiz,nizzle forshizzle! J/K :smile:

Tone and the type of words used are very instrumental in resolving a situation. As SexyCool has stated emotions have to be controlled during these moments!

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
11:21 am

When I hear the phrase “calling someone on the carpet”, I think of…

I think about my pledging days when I hear that. Fun times. :| :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:21 am

I am – Aint nothing wrong with you, you trying to get paid. You aint gotta sell it to us.. And guess what.. You need more people.. Ha!!!

I am whatever you say I am

April 6th, 2010
11:21 am

Leggs: you’re 10:59 post

I would like to add:

Laugh like you never laughed before
Smile like you’ve never smiled before
Dance like no one is waching
Love like you never loved before.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:24 am

What is the shelf life of a muscle relaxer pill?

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:25 am

Show me someone who never gets upset or never gets angry and I will show you someone who is denying parts of himself or not really living.

That being said, just because I get angry doesn’t mean that I have respond in that anger or even come to you in an angry manner. I happen to be emotionally mature enough and intelligent enough to know that acting like *Angela* is not going to work in a real relationship.

It’s only when I don’t care enough that I don’t possess enough giveagoodgotdamn to respond in anger.

And I could go on…..

kimmie

April 6th, 2010
11:27 am

Tone and the type of words used are very instrumental in resolving a situation.

LURKER – Exactly! That’s all I’m saying.

And yeah, I’m not perfect, but darn near it!LOL! JUST KIDDING REALLY!

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:28 am

The only babe I like that sings lud but can do that ish is Chaka Khan.. Im more of a Angela Wimbush singing Angel kinda dude..

The Truth

April 6th, 2010
11:29 am

Hey everyone….I would like to open this up and bit as I am in a bit of a dilemma. Here is the scenario….I have met this wonderful woman…she is kind, smart, driven and really treats me very well. And I know that it appears she REALLY LIKES ME. OK, that is what any man could possibly want…but for some reason, deep inside, I am just not feeling it on a complete romantic connection. It has been over a year since my last relationship, I am not a vain or egotistic person at all (I can poke fun at myself with no problem), successful and yet easy going…blah, blah. We have been seeing each other about 3 weeks…so, where do i go from here? I am not a mental wuss and considered a very strong individual by family and friends. Any suggestions? I would like to hear both sides of the story….thanks for this outlet.

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:30 am

Sexy Cool, that denying is deep and something to ponder. I know someone like that who uses avoidance as a to end conflict.

Myself, I have a cool demeanor but a quick temper on somethings, but only those I care about can cause that temper to flare. Odd I know, but if I don’t care about a person I don’t care enough to get myself riled up at all no matter what they do.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 6th, 2010
11:31 am

What is the shelf life of a muscle relaxer pill?

Doesn’t it say on the bottle or prescription you got from the doctor?….that is if you got them from a doctor. Whatchu doin over there lito? Lawd don’t tell me you put down the veggies just to pick up sumthin else….do we need to do an intervention? :)

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:31 am

If it’s only been three weeks, why are you tripping?
RELAX and enjoy getting to know the chick.
(Um….you’re kinda sounding like a girl.)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR. THROWED

April 6th, 2010
11:32 am

Or Ole Mary Davis.. You know from the SOS Band singing that Tell me if you still care..

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:32 am

The Truth, you have to figure out what that inner voice is saying. You saying that “you are just not feeling it” is reason enough not to go deeper. Don’t force it, and try not to kidnap the ‘koo.

AmazonRed™

April 6th, 2010
11:33 am

but for some reason, deep inside, I am just not feeling it on a complete romantic connection.

If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. Stop being an coward and break it off before she gets in even more deep.

Have you slept together yet?

Carlito

April 6th, 2010
11:34 am

Sassy, that was not for me. I Am said she took a muscle relaxer that was a year old. I have not stayed clear of Veggies, this past weekend did me in. :( Everything was to perfect, weather, beach lol.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 6th, 2010
11:35 am

We have been seeing each other about 3 weeks…so, where do i go from here?

It’s only been three weeks so maybe you should give it some time…BUUT if you think(strongly) that your feelings won’t change then it’s only fair to let her know so she can go…it’s only fair.

SexyCool

April 6th, 2010
11:36 am

Aaaannnddd….I wouldn’t be in a relationship where I felt like I had to hide my dern emotions.