accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Are first impressions reliable?

Have you ever been out and met someone who you instantly didn’t like? The person just rubbed you the wrong way because they said or did something that turned you off.  When that person later turns out to be someone you become friends with or date, you have to wonder how reliable our first impressions really are.

So often we seem to make so many snap judgments and quick superficial scans and we actually rule a potential romance out based on this.  When you think of your best relationships or closest friendships, do you remember what you first thought about that person when you met?

Do you think your first impressions on the dating scene gets you a second look or makes people steer clear?

HAPPY MONDAY! How was your weekend? Did you have any first impressions (good or bad) this weekend?

Update: Attention music lovers! Janelle Monae is in the city! She has an album listening party and performance tonight.

Meet and Greet & Album Party: 7-8PM

Renaissance Waverly Hotel

Address: 2450 Galleria Parkway, Atlanta, GA 30339

364 comments Add your comment

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
8:07 am

oooh oooh !I’m first!

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
8:09 am

yeah I have had that happen where my first impression of someone wasn’t always spot on.
For example, I worked with someone that would get on my last nerve.
Somehow or another, this person ended up being a cool friend of mine.
I value his friendship.
Would I ever date him? Hmmmnn…. probably not :
A) He’s married and I’m not a homewrecker
B) As I grown to know him better, there are traits that he has that would cause a conflict if I were ever to date someone like him
C) he’s married

AmazonRed™

April 5th, 2010
8:48 am

Morning all!

Hmm…I don’t know if I’ve made any snap judgements that turned out to be wrong. Let me think a little longer. Anyone whom I didn’t like upon meeting, I still don’t like. I probably didn’t spend any real time digging below the surface tho!

My weekend was great! I was off on Friday. I took the honey bun to lunch and then hung with his family for a bit. Then I met up with some friends to see “Why Did I Get Married Too” —> :? Saturday went to a lovely bridal shower and watched the Final Four. Sunday was church then grubbing at my faux hubby’s house!

Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)

April 5th, 2010
8:53 am

Ummm I are I see you are still krazy!

IHello Ms. Lurker! I hope all is well with you!

I try not to make snap judgements about anyone when I frst meet them. I tend to sit back and listen. Sooner or later their true colors will show. I have met a few people who rubbed me the wrong way and later we became friends!

i'm swiss

April 5th, 2010
8:59 am

Morning blog peeps… (working on my 3rd cup o’ java already…)

Hmmm… Actually, I think first impressions are usually pretty accurate. Trying to think of an instance where I’ve been totally off-base about someone… Then again, maybe like ARed I just stick with my first impression & never really give a 2nd chance to make a first impression…

Loving the spring weather (finally!) — had the top off on the Jeep all weekend long, kicked a little arse on the tennis court & did a little grilling & chilling at the new swiss estate:-) About as good as it gets in my book… :-)

Carlito

April 5th, 2010
9:01 am

First impressions. The woman I am in love with, I really despised when I first met her and thought she was full of games. Not anymore though. I just had a block up for the relationship area of my life, I was not receptive to anything that approached me in that manner in a meaningful way. So, I kept blinders on off sort and only saw the negative.

AmazonRed™

April 5th, 2010
9:10 am

Pollen count 1633 today. :( *sniff*

DreamsMaterialize

April 5th, 2010
9:21 am

Morning
I’m pretty receptive to people, so it takes alot to “rub” me the wrong way. You never know what’s going on with someone, so I try to make it a point not to characterize another person by their surface interactions with me.

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
9:23 am

Hey Carlito!!!!
I hope you enjoyed your weekend.
your post to me is an example of what you miss out if you don’t give someone a 2nd chance.
Sure there are times when a 2nd chance need not be awarded but a lot of times we miss out.

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
9:25 am

random thought:
OMG this past weekend was wonderful!!!! The weather was on point!!!
I took lil dude to the park yesterday and he loved up.
I love days like those. We had a picnic, played frisbee, played with a lady’s dog that is the same age as my little.
I love days like those!

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
9:25 am

typo: loved it

Carlito

April 5th, 2010
9:42 am

I am, my weekend was great. I was done with work Friday by noon, so I had some time to explore and play. It was so beautiful in Florida that I flew her down to be with me. We both loved it. We vacation there often and decided to come up with a plan so that we will both be living there together within a few years.

Carlito

April 5th, 2010
9:44 am

I am, 2nd chances are good sometimes. Sometimes they are not. I guess it matters if the first foul was flagrant or not.

abc

April 5th, 2010
9:45 am

I’m sure your mother or grandmother told you “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” or something along those lines. Being superficially judgmental is actually a bad first impression on your own account.

I have a tendency, right or wrong, to pay more attention to people who make a bad first impression. Most often, they’re just a bit rough around the edges, a bit socially inept perhaps, but generally more up-front, truthful and trustworthy than average. It’s the ones that are obviously practiced in the good first impression that seem disingenuous to me, and thus met with my suspicion. Your mileage may vary.

czBrat

April 5th, 2010
9:46 am

Morning ALL!!

yup. the weather is mighty fine these days :) i’m gonna ditto 007 8:53. i can’t say i’ve ever formed a negative first impression of anyone. i sit back and let things work themselves out for a while before i decide if i’m interested in knowing more. however, i do believe that the first impression i give tends to be negative. i prefer to watch and listen instead of just warming right up to folks from jump …. so that makes me seem unfriendly.

swiss so glad you’re enjoying the new digs!

czBrat

April 5th, 2010
9:54 am

wise words abc. very wise words.

i'm swiss

April 5th, 2010
9:54 am

Thanks, Brat — Yeah, we’re loving the new place… It’s keeping us busy, though. It’s a pretty big place — lots of rooms to Christen:-D :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
9:56 am

Carlito: That’s cool you were able to fly her down!!!!
Being in a relationship with someone that you can also enjoy vacations with is a bonus.

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
9:57 am

“…..It’s the ones that are obviously practiced in the good first impression that seem disingenuous to me, and thus met with my suspicion…..”

Kinda like waiting for the other shoe to drop

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

April 5th, 2010
10:01 am

lots of rooms to Christen…

Well alrighty now ;)

Luvbug

April 5th, 2010
10:01 am

Have you ever been out and met someone who you instantly didn’t like?

No.

DreamsMaterialize

April 5th, 2010
10:06 am

Looks like everyone is out on spring break.

TexasBoy

April 5th, 2010
10:06 am

I Love Spring Time! lot of beautiful women out his weekend!
Have a great week everyone~

czBrat

April 5th, 2010
10:09 am

Looks like everyone is out on spring break. wish i were too, but i have to admit i’m REALLY enjoying the light traffice for a change.

Luvbug

April 5th, 2010
10:11 am

abc – I agree.

RelldaRake

April 5th, 2010
10:12 am

first impressions will trip you up everytime..but you know perception is reality to some folks

the weekend was cool- but i have to stop drinking..lol

i liked the tyler perry movie…made me think….plus whats funny is i was married to all those women at some point in my marriage…only thing i did not like…is he glossed over his situation with his wife…but everything else was spot on

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
10:16 am

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
10:18 am

I was thinking traffic woud be light on my commute today.
I was wrong.
I was so wrong that someone rear-ended me :evil:

i'm swiss

April 5th, 2010
10:21 am

“lots of rooms to Christen…

Well alrighty now “

@Sassy:-) Ironically, the one room we haven’t broken in yet is the master bedroom — still waiting on that tax rebate to get a new master bedroom set…

living room — check

kitchen — check (anyone want to come over for dinner?)

enclosed patio room — check

staircase — check

master shower — check, check & check

jacuzzi tub — check

floor of her closet, surrounded by her shoes — check (shoes get mrs. swiss hot, what can i say?) :lol:

etc., etc., etc…

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
10:22 am

I have had good first impressions that were wrong and bad first impressions that were right.

I know that good first impressions can hide a multitude of character flaws and faults that if you knew upfront you would run quickly in the other direction.

I have a tendency to not give those who make a bad first impression the opportunity to change that impression. That’s because I don’t care to waste my life on possible lost causes. And really, there are enough people in the world that one bad impression from someone who I don’t know anyway is not going to make that big of a difference in my life (especially if it’s just someone that I am meeting in passing.)

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
10:39 am

“The hardest thing to have is a good man after you’ve had a bad one.”
Sheila – Why Did I Get Married Too

CoolShadow

April 5th, 2010
10:43 am

First impressions can be hit or miss on in terms of assessment, but alter the environment or situation slightly and that could completely change the outcome of the impression. There have been people I disliked at first impression for whatever reason but they evolved into a really good friend, associate, etc. The thing was that I kept my initial dislike internally and it didn’t manifest into an adversarial relationship. That decision turned out great for me because the person I consider my career mentor made a less than stellar impression on me upon our first meeting.

Conversely, some women that have made a favorable initial impression after getting to know them lost some luster which led me to realize that I misread the initial encounter.

Do you think your first impressions on the dating scene gets you a second look or makes people steer clear?

Both; my persona, physicality, and character may appeal to some while leave others unimpressed, it’s just the nature of the beast.

kimmie

April 5th, 2010
10:44 am

Good morning beautiful blog people!

And really, there are enough people in the world that one bad impression from someone who I don’t know anyway is not going to make that big of a difference in my life (especially if it’s just someone that I am meeting in passing.)

Amen SCool! I get so sick of folks whining about missing out & giving folks 2nd chances and whatnot! Even if you make a bad 1st impression on me, if you were meant to be part of my life in some way, it’s gonna happen! In the meantime I’m not wasting my time crying over spilled milk. I’m not hard up for friends!

With that being said, I go with my gut, or intuition or listen to God’s voice in my ear. That has never steered me wrong. Whenever I’ve gone against that, things have not turned out well. And I’m not talking just about when a person has made a bad impression eithr. There have been times when folks have made a good impression, but my little voice is telling me walk away anyway. When I’ve ignored the voice in those instances, things have not gone well.

So now, I’ve learned to trust my instincts.

czBrat

April 5th, 2010
10:44 am

I am that stinks! :mad: hope the rest of your week is nothing but sunshine and blue skies.

kimmie

April 5th, 2010
10:53 am

I am – Yeah, that’s no fun, I’ve been there. Wishing for you the best possible outcome.

AmazonRed™

April 5th, 2010
11:01 am

I didn’t see my HS sweetheart as anything more than a friend. I thought he was a nice guy, but I didn’t think we were capable of any great love affair. I kinda had to convince myself to give him a chance.

I’m glad I did. He was a wonderful guy who really looked out for me. We were way too differnt to work long term. But I have a lot of wonderful “first” memories with him. I’m glad I gave him a shot.

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
11:01 am

Been there. Done that with having my vehicle rear ended. They never did get the repair *just* right.

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
11:07 am

“The hardest thing to have is a good man after you’ve had a bad one.”
Sheila – Why Did I Get Married Too

That is why it is so important to take out time for self before embarking on new relationship so that you can check that baggage.

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
11:07 am

Weren’t you just talking about getting married the other week?
LOL!

DreamsMaterialize

April 5th, 2010
11:08 am

They never did get the repair *just* right.
Do they ever? You go in for surgery, and you’re never quite the same again, or something else starts acting up.

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
11:08 am

thanks for the well wishes Czbrat .
Positive note: made it work on time, no damage to vehicles, and it was not raining!!!!

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
11:09 am

Thank you as well Kimmie

DreamsMaterialize

April 5th, 2010
11:09 am

meant to say that mechanics are like doctors in that sense. lol

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
11:09 am

I’m swiss: kitchen — check (anyone want to come over for dinner?)

Only if cooking utensils were not involved

I am whatever you say I am

April 5th, 2010
11:11 am

Sexy Cool:

I think my vehicle must be marked. People keep hitting the same spot!!!

SexyCool

April 5th, 2010
11:13 am

Dreams – Exactly.

I am – might be time for a new car.

czBrat

April 5th, 2010
11:15 am

i have learned to be slow to judge (good or bad) on first impressions because i’m one of those people who sticks to a decision once i’ve made up my mind. so if i call you ‘friend’, you’re my friend to the end. if i decide i want nothing to do with you, that’s the way it will be no matter what. you may hit lotto the following week, i still won’t give you the time of day. you may be on fire, i won’t stop to spit on ya.

AmazonRed™

April 5th, 2010
11:16 am

Weren’t you just talking about getting married the other week?
LOL!

What did I miss…? :-O

Dig That

April 5th, 2010
11:18 am

What up everybody. Hope it was a good weekend.

First impressions are always funny to me and highly unpredictable. I have learned they can be highly misleading as well. I also learned very importantly not to judge because it leaves me open to the same.

Dig That

April 5th, 2010
11:27 am

@im swiss
Congrats on the new crib. I see you are already breaking it in.