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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for March, 2010

Short Message Disservice

I’m not normally a fan of laying out  “rules of dating”, but sometimes you have to draw the line in the sand! I think it would be a great public service for the single people to put down some hard and fast rules about texting. Enough is enough, people.

When we discussed people who were “textually active” we acknowledged that times have changed and we simply communicate differently.  I can adapt, to a degree.  Sadly, you give some of us an inch and we’ll take a mile. You let one text message to arrange a meet up location pass, the next thing you know your entire relationship is mired in SMS messages. No bueno.

One reader wrote me voicing her frustration with her recent experience with a text offender:

I received a text saying he would love to see my legs again (met while dancing) and asked if I could come over to his place tonight.  I sent him a text back saying why is it I get all these texts from him but he doesn’t feel like going anywhere and getting to know me a little …

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How will you know?

I consider myself pretty cautious when it comes to dating. I like taking calculated risks, carefully weighing my options before taking the plunge, so to speak.  I feel as though it’s been a blessing and a curse sometimes though!  How are you suppose to figure out when you are being too cautious (or careless) in dating?

Well, last month I said I was interested in exploring the matchmaking world a bit. I reached out to a real-life matchmaker, Mr. Paul Brunson aka the “Modern Day Matchmaker“.

The Modern Day Matchmaker

The Modern Day Matchmaker

Paul had a wonderful series of videos that sparked a lot of interesting dialogue among my friends and I. My favorite so far is “ How Do I know When to Invest?” because it explores one of the issues that I struggle with personally.

If you can’t view the video, there is one important question that really resonated with me:  “Do they respond selflessly in times of challenge?”  I have always believed that Maya Angelou quote, when people show you …

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Do dating leagues exist?

I saw the trailer for the film, She’s Out of My League, yesterday and I wondered if “dating league” was making a come back in our dating lexicon.  I hadn’t used the term in ages because I think a lot of single people have become slightly narcissistic enough to think we can date pretty much anyone we want!
Do you think we have huge egos and believe there is no such thing as “in the same league” in terms of who is within our reach?
Have you ever been apprehensive about seeing someone because you thought they were out of your league or vice versa?
If we actually buy in to the theory of dating leagues, what kind of things would  put someone out of your league, so to speak?
How would one really determine the type of person we “deserve” to date?

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Tale of two cities

You want to know what happens when two single women stop being polite and start getting real about men?  Well, if the two women are dating bloggers  “Single Gal in NYC” and yours truly, only great things! I managed to catch up with the fabulous and brave Melissa aka Single Gal in the City. We met up for a quick bite at the beautiful Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta.

The Brave Dater

The Brave Dater

We both swapped stories of our dating misadventures – some side-splitting recounts of good guys gone wrong, and bad choices we have both made.  I couldn’t wait to ask her “what are you thinking!?” Only I was much more polite, and I asked her what made her decide to go on a dating blitz in different cities.

She was very open and candid about reaching the point where she was growing weary of her dating experiences in New York.  Basically, it was either do something that would move her closer to finding the one, or risk turning into a bitter New York dater.

I also asked what she has learned …

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You’re Too Old For This!

I’m taking a (web) page out of my favorite  “very smart brother’s” blog, to discuss “Things you should give up at 30″ and this hurts me as much as it hurts you. Believe me! When I hit the big 3-0, I realized my perspective about a lot of things needed to change.  Especially dating and relationships! It’s a part of growing older and um..wiser.

I have a classic example of something that can be filed under “you’re too old for this!” and it happened just last week.  I was running around preparing for my New York trip and I drug my friend Brandon out for shopping.  We finished up brunch and I wanted to go to Macy’s to look for a party dress that was blue.

Brandon turns to me with a look of horror on his face when I mentioned the Macy’s location I needed to check out.  It turns out that a lady that he “loved and left” worked at Macy’s and he couldn’t risk going in the store.  Seriously! Brandon is 33 years old, how is it possible that he is still pulling disappearing acts at …

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Love Does Not Hurt

It is a sad and tragic fact that relationships and violence go together at times.  There are some of us who grew up around abusive relationships in our homes or in our families.  If there is no healing involved from this, we have all seen what can happen when another generation carries it into their relationships.

It seems that during the early dating stages, a lot of red flags are presented, and sadly overlooked.  I remember reading about the young teacher who was allegedly slain by a boyfriend.  Her father, heartbroken, mentioned how his daughter would make comments about certain behaviors that simply seemed “protective” or “attentive” at the time.  What can single people do to be more aware of  person who has dangerous behaviors?

It’s not just adults that cope with this issue, teens also find themselves faced with dating violence, at very young ages.   Imagine your first love, puppy love. Then imagine if all that intense emotion led to physical abuse.  If you were …

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The Living Years

I don’t know why there are so many beautiful babies every where I seem to go lately.  I can’t even escape the cuties on Twitter because some mothers and grandmothers are tweeting pictures of their adorable angels!  I have long ago pulled the cord out of my biological clock.  Which is to say, I decided that as much as I adore children, motherhood would not drive my need to land a mate by a certain reproductively ideal age.

Now, as because I’m getting older, the men I am meeting are ready for children.  They decided at some point before meeting/dating me, that fatherhood is pretty high on their list of things to do.  I’ve seen it happen to many close friends.  They go from being the single, carefree guy to the man who is picking out mini-jerseys of their favorite team for their future sons.  It seems to happen overnight, but I’m sure it isn’t exactly the case.

Do you think men have biological clocks?

Do you think that the traits that it takes to make a great father are …

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Don’t believe the hype

I had  a wonderful time in New York over the weekend and that city is amazing! I can understand why people go there and never want to leave.  I want to thank everyone for their tips, they really came in handy. I will recap the trip for everyone later this week!

I was telling someone I met this weekend about the different topics we discuss on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog.  The various challenges many of us face on the dating scene can feel insurmountable.  It doesn’t help when single people let their gender mistrust take over and ruin a potentially good thing.

I think a lot of us sometimes adopt the very stereotypes and myths about the opposite sex that we complain about.  What happens to our own instincts? Why do we believe the bad hype so easily and look for the worst to happen?

What would you say were the biggest stereotypes women have about men that get in the way of having a meaningful relationship?  What would be some real solutions to combat this?

Some men …

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Ex-Rated

I had not planned to blog about singer John Mayer’s so-called “Mayergate” controversy that caused a buzz last month.  If you were spared the pop culture road kill, Mr. Mayer had a very interesting interview with Playboy magazine.   Throughout the interview – (which I’m wondering if he was actually high at the time), Mayer managed to insult pretty much numerous of people who were probably fans before this.

When Mayer referred to sex with his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, as “a drug”, I wondered how often guys rated their women  out loud to other people.  Is this normal? Do guys really reflect on their conquests and rank the women and their skills? I won’t deny that some women certainly bring it up their naughty memories in girl talk, mostly to gush about how the man made him feel.

Mayer also alluded to the fact that he isn’t attracted to women of color.  He chose a truly unfunny and dumb way to put it.  This seemed to upset a lot of people but I can’t knock him for …

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Empire State of Mind

Jay-Z picked the perfect weekend to perform in Atlanta.  I went to his concert last Saturday (great show) and tomorrow, I am headed to New York for the first time ever.  His show definitely put me in an “empire state of mind!” To say that I am excited would be an understatement!

This is the closest I’m ever going get to the whole “Carrie Bradshaw” thing, so I am curious to check out the NY dating scene.  I’ve only really known dating in Atlanta, so getting a chance to observe how different/similar the lay of the land is will be very interesting!

I heard about a female blogger from New York who is headed on a dating blitz in different cities. I wish I could say I was that adventurous! This young lady has an eight city line-up and she will stop in our fair city next week! I wonder what sort of things she will discover about dating in different zip codes?

Have you ever compared the Atlanta dating scene to other cities?  In your own experiences, how do you think we stack up …

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