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Too predictable

Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but here it goes: You’ve become predictable.  I know, it’s hard to hear. I spotted this on Twitter the other day: “Men don’t know how to throw curve balls anymore, they are so predictable.” quipped Amber Jolie a fellow blogger.  I think she is referring to those good curve balls! That thing men do or say that really shows he’s in it to win her heart.

Women aren’t hard to please! Just as you guys are simple creatures, so are we..well we can be, sometimes. When the moons are aligned just right and you have managed to keep us smiling all week long.  Seriously though, I think women are easy to please in the sense that we love to see gestures and efforts by the men we date.  When a man does something out of the ordinary (see Friday’s post!) it adds to the attraction a great deal.

To be fair, women have moments of predictability too.  Men can sometimes hold preconceived notions about what they consider to be typical woman behavior.  Sadly, we end up affirming these and it becomes negative reinforcement.  This is when women constantly call or text, worry about where the relationship stands every other minute.  It’s something I don’t think a lot of women keep in mind when interacting with men.

Why do you think being predictable can be such a drag on a potential relationship?  How  could men and women avoid being too predictable?

435 comments Add your comment

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
1:45 pm

I am – Yeah all of a sudden he ‘misses’ me but where was all that missing when he was in NC for the CIAA or in New Yawk the following weekend, or when he was out partying it up the last 2 weekends, or out at the shoe show, or while he was puff puff passing? Spsssssh puh-leaze! You don’t miss me, you just miss my froggystyle :mrgreen:

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
1:45 pm

Leggs: Please don’t clown me on this one but I forgot to give dude the key.
And he doesn’t seem to want it back….
He told me that he had been trying to reach me but wasn’t able to get thru.
I made it clear to him that I was only trying to get in touch in the past to get my stuff back.
Anyhoo, he told me something that I’m having a hard time processing
I don’t feel as strongly about him as I did before.
I don’t know how I feel about him other than the fact that I prefer to keep my distance.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
1:46 pm

Slim, so many never know what they had until it’s gone.

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
1:47 pm

Spsssssh puh-leaze! You don’t miss me, you just miss my froggystyle

LMBAO@@@@@@

Leggs

March 29th, 2010
1:47 pm

@SexyCoo-Coo ~ that’s exactly how my ex feels but I won’t carry on a convo like that with him anymore. When he dropped lil leggs off the other day he said “you doing your thing and taking great care of her.” All I said was “thanks” and good night. A know if I give even a little encouragement he will think cupid hit him with its arrow!

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

March 29th, 2010
1:47 pm

Melo- You’re just completely unmanageable!! LOL Yes, he is :)

Slim – Toe nail clippings? :)

I Am – So what’s really going on? :)

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
1:47 pm

Spsssssh puh-leaze! You don’t miss me, you just miss my froggystyle

LMBAO!!!! Yep Yep!!! LOL!!!

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
1:49 pm

LL: the ex basically told me so stuff which translates to him having insecurities.
I can’t deal with a man with insecurities. He has to work those out.

Melo

March 29th, 2010
1:51 pm

They can use certain locals to do their dirty work for them.

@DreamsM!!

YEAH,they use green$$$!

when pple accept another race’s mores wholesale and as superior,thats selling out…..neocolonialism at best…

even here in america its happening…no wonder…(ima leave it there) …going too political for dating…… :lol:

I want u to swing u nanas however way u want,black,brown,white,yellow.. :lol:

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
1:51 pm

I am whatever, is that ex your child’s father?

lurker

March 29th, 2010
1:52 pm

this one guy that comes in and plants his hinny on my desk. I hate it. I actually put a tray in that spot and he pushes it over to give himself room to sit

ya’ll are funny. there are nothing but offices on this floor and 2 admin work stations…aside from visiting on work related issues, most keep their doors closed.

LL411... Smiling On The Inside Too!

March 29th, 2010
1:54 pm

@ I AM … I can’t deal with a man with insecurities. He has to work those out. <<<Right On!

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
1:55 pm

I am – sometimes, I just don’t know about you, honeybunch. But I wish you the best.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
1:56 pm

Swirl, Yes. Fat Chicks, No. Leggs, Congrats. Melo, me also.

Anything I forget to answer? :)

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
1:58 pm

lurker, he comes in here relating to business but he still sits on my desk. I have to offer a seat in the chair. When will he get a clue.

lurker

March 29th, 2010
1:59 pm

Radiating – LOL…he probably won’t.

RelldaRake - the nasty song as me sore

March 29th, 2010
2:00 pm

I am – Yeah all of a sudden he ‘misses’ me but where was all that missing when he was in NC for the CIAA or in New Yawk the following weekend, or when he was out partying it up the last 2 weekends, or out at the shoe show, or while he was puff puff passing? Spsssssh puh-leaze! You don’t miss me, you just miss my froggystyle

@slim…i can sometimes pull the vanishing act as well…here is the reason I DO IT…its because boo huggin with you all weekend is boring….the flip side is the fantasy of a good time or the potentiall to meet new..active….dynamic women…that will not be on the boo hug program. I have told some of my peoples…stop dating on the couch…even after you guys have relations…we men still need alot of stimuli from our women not just between her legs…we need activity…lots of it….so invite your dude out to your spots…thats what we like…i will pull the vanishing act if my weekend start looking a marriage..where we always doing low key stuff….thats why i have done it in the past…and maybe just maybe he might have done it…i mean the ciaa = women/fun/festive…weekend with you=sex maybe…movie..couple of dranks..maybe…feel me

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
2:00 pm

SexyCool, I don’t get what her problem is. She will post stuff then when people comment she feels like she is being attacked. Maybe she needs to get a dog.

Melo

March 29th, 2010
2:02 pm

but he still sits on my desk. I have to offer a seat in the chair

u are doing sme wrong obviously!!

check ur body lingo then!

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
2:04 pm

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity : no ex in question is not my son’s father.

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
2:06 pm

sitting on your desk?
ARe you serious?

I would push him off, that’s just me.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:06 pm

As usual I am lost. So the topics are breast, ex dudes, something with foreigners and something else.

Can we post up who is a male, female who is married,single or LTR. I swear that some I think are men turn out to be women and vice versa. Also, how many different lurker names are there?

I’m on a horse……….

Dan

March 29th, 2010
2:06 pm

@Slim/I am

Give them dudes time to get over “it” (read: you)

I try not to call my “ex’s”, and the numbers I do have require me to unlock my phone to call (one good DD incident should set a cat straight).

But it’s not easy for us to get over a relationship, just as it isn’t for you all sometimes. So to get on your horse riding hard on a dude that may genuinely miss you, try a little empathy. Or better yet, remember when you were on the other end of that phone for someone for him or someone else.

…roses really smell like boo-booooo-oo-oh

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
2:07 pm

Leggs – As one of my male friends told me, they like to keep a fishing line sitting in the water. They don’t want to cut any strings, or burn any bridges..They feel more comfortable thinking that there is always some sort of attachment or chance for them to get back in the door. When we, women, are still emotionally attached to them, they use that to their advantage. However, as time goes on and we distance ourselves from them, it causes that emotional tie to dwindle and that’s when they perk up like WHAO Tanto, what’s going on with this girl..she’s getting too far from me, let me do or say something to see where she is in hopes that I can get her to bite on my rod again.

My dad actually got onto me this weekend about ‘wasting’ that long period of time with what he called a boy in a grown persons body. He said you ought to get p!ssed off and mad enough to use that as a motivator to do better…show them that w/o them you will still succeed.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
2:09 pm

Melo, there is nothing wrong or questionable about my body lingo. He is just on of those people that gets in your space. If you are helping him look up something on the net he hovers over you. He is a space invader. And not the good kind.

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
2:10 pm

“I’m on a horse……….”

@Carlito LMAO!!!!!!!! I think that is like the g-ayest dudes in the world. That is one weirdest commercials I’ve seen in a long time.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
2:10 pm

Got a text from an ex Saturday night, it read “Still not feeling me?”

My response: “Still feeling him.”

His last response: “Whatever! You make me sick.”

I laughed my ass off.

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
2:11 pm

Dan: I honestly feel for my ex.
I’m not up here bragging that he misses me.
I simply stated that because I couldn’t believe it.
I thought he was over me the minute he said good-bye.
Didn’t know he cared.

I care about him deeply and wish him the best.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:12 pm

Raqi, I can not stand those types of people. Especially guys that when you shake their hand that want to pull you all in close with some sort of fraternal handshake type grab. Excuse me, but just a hand shake or grasp will do. No need to have to invade each others personal space. I have mastered throwing up the elbow on the same arm when that happens.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
2:12 pm

“Whatever! You make me sick.”

That made me laugh out loud.

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
2:13 pm

I’m on a horse

I don’t get it :S:

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
2:13 pm

“So to get on your horse riding hard on a dude that may genuinely miss you, try a little empathy”

@Dan – you know the history with ole boy enough to know this can’t apply to me. If he misses me so much, what is he doing or willing to do to rememdy the situation (even though i’m over considering a r’ship with him it at this point…friendship at some point but not a r’ship) 8-10yrs is a helluva long time to have all that stuff figured out…not planning on wasting anymore time like that again. The fool told me, just because I wasn’t going to marry you today, you assumed that I didn’t or never was going to marry you. WTF! Like Carlito, I’m on a horse, riding off into the sunset on that one. :lol:

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:14 pm

Melo

March 29th, 2010
2:15 pm

He is just on of those people that gets in your space

so do u have a problem telling pple off,whether they like it or not??

he dont have to like u,but tell him whats up……

one of my chinese co-wrkers borrowed a copy of my current fortune to read,durinng office hrs..he dont return it and i go to his desk at closing,hes gone….

next morn, I went str8 to his office and told him,”bro,u borrow my stuff, u bring it back same day coz thats my dime,unless i let u keep it” he was :shock: :evil: for a day or 2 but he str8 now…asks me stuff on the regular…..we pals again. :lol:

dont let sme stuff fester unless u want it to.

I am whatever you say I am

March 29th, 2010
2:15 pm

Okay folk.
Time for Nap
Catch you on the flip

RelldaRake - the nasty song as me sore

March 29th, 2010
2:18 pm

E badu = female version of the “love below”…but a lil more smart mouth…lol…she is straight funny with it

Dan

March 29th, 2010
2:19 pm

@Slim

Trust me, I get it.

I’ve let my share slip through my fingers, and it takes awhile and some time to realize what you had. But you get over it (read: her) and into something new (read: life) and hold no ill will. I’m jussayin, either cut old dude off, set him straight about the extent of your current and future feelings, or deal with him until he figures it out for himself.

@I am

Sorry, if I interpreted it that way; but that’s how it read originally.

RelldaRake - the nasty song as me sore

March 29th, 2010
2:20 pm

ladies stand up…listen to the lyrics..she kills it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mhDSIM73k

RelldaRake - the nasty song as me sore

March 29th, 2010
2:21 pm

@dan..you spitting that real…but i vote to cute him off..what pleasure do you get from seeing your “superman” reduced to this…you must be that kryptonite…fa real.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
2:22 pm

“So to get on your horse riding hard on a dude that may genuinely miss you, try a little empathy”

Maybe he should have thought about how he was going to miss me when he was dogging me the hell out and acting like his sht didn’t stink. When he thought he could tell me that bullsht was cotton candy and think that I was stupid enough to believe that mess indefinitely.

Yeah, um..Chunking up the W (whatever) – some dckheads gets no *I miss you after the fact* love…

in fact…they can miss me with THAT…

That is all.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
2:22 pm

Diet Motto: There is nothing that taste as good as being thin feels.

Remember that the next you are attempted to order that slice of raspberry swirl cheesecake.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:23 pm

I am on a horse,

riding backwards.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
2:25 pm

I am on a horse

The first time I saw the Old Spice commercial I thought the guy was kinda cute and sexy. Especially standing in the bathroom. Now the more I see it the gheyer is looks and sounds.

RelldaRake - the nasty song as me sore

March 29th, 2010
2:27 pm

@raqi..nice quote

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:27 pm

SlimOne, I do not know your backstory. I will say this, if you let stuff hang around or linger it does no good for you. Now come water my lawn :)

“what’s in your my hand, now back at me. It’s an oyster containing two tickets to that thing you love, look again, THE TICKETS ARE NOW DIAMONDS!!!!”

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
2:27 pm

@melo – your 2:15 reminds me of this chick at my last job. Now a good friend of mine would always let me get her US Weekly to read during lunch/breaks whatever. So on occasion the chick would ask to borrow them whenever I got done. One day I go to lunch and come back and the mag is missing from my desk, that I had already started reading. I’m looking all over asking around for my mag so someone finally says they saw ole girl take it….So I march my lil azz right over to her desk and said, Did you take my mag off my desk. She was like oh I didn’t think you were here today. I was like, yeah i’ve been here all day and I stepped out for lunch and even if i was here I’d appreciate it if you didn’t take stuff off my desk without my permission, aside from the fact that i was still reading it…She apologized and she never did that again

lurker

March 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

I Am…I think you’re wishful thinking. Is this the same dude that stood you up? First of all, at this point in the game (remember going commando and stuff all to impress), he wouldn’t even get a meeting scheduled. Next, if I did go for that and he stood me up…at this point…he couldn’t lick my boots let alone spit on me. I think you’re self inflicting and doing a lot of wishful thinking.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:29 pm

I just see the commercial as humorous( like he is just appealing to every womans needs), I dont look at the sexuality of it. I do think Reggie Bush is gay though.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
2:30 pm

I Am, you went to meet a guy with no panties on and he stood you up? Did he know you were sans undies? That had to hurt.

Dan

March 29th, 2010
2:34 pm

@SC

Anger is hurt turned outward…phychology 101.

To truly be at peace about anything, you must first forgive yourself and then the other person (even if it was all his fault).