Too predictable
Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but here it goes: You’ve become predictable. I know, it’s hard to hear. I spotted this on Twitter the other day: “Men don’t know how to throw curve balls anymore, they are so predictable.” quipped Amber Jolie a fellow blogger. I think she is referring to those good curve balls! That thing men do or say that really shows he’s in it to win her heart.
Women aren’t hard to please! Just as you guys are simple creatures, so are we..well we can be, sometimes. When the moons are aligned just right and you have managed to keep us smiling all week long. Seriously though, I think women are easy to please in the sense that we love to see gestures and efforts by the men we date. When a man does something out of the ordinary (see Friday’s post!) it adds to the attraction a great deal.
To be fair, women have moments of predictability too. Men can sometimes hold preconceived notions about what they consider to be typical woman behavior. Sadly, we end up affirming these and it becomes negative reinforcement. This is when women constantly call or text, worry about where the relationship stands every other minute. It’s something I don’t think a lot of women keep in mind when interacting with men.
Why do you think being predictable can be such a drag on a potential relationship? How could men and women avoid being too predictable?
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435 comments Add your comment
DreamsMaterialize
March 29th, 2010
11:07 am
Carlito
That’s pretty my understanding from the notherners I’ve known. They also didn’t feel any association with Italian Americans, just called them Sicilians.
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:07 am
Infamous, exactly. Except our families and political systems are way more violent than they are in those places.
SlimOne, I would have to do a visual inspection upon arrival to make sure you left it. If you agree to those terms you may come by.
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:11 am
Farm kid chores, take out the garbage and burn it, mow the fields(atleast 50 acres), tend the livestock, help birth calfs, work the fields, bale hay, tend the fences, sand bag the river during flood season, shovel half mile driveway during the winter atleast once a week etc. Nope never got paid for any of that.
@Carlito??
that sounds like me,growing up with my maternal grandma,my uncles and aunts.
Smetimes i wld wake up early (4-5 am) on a weekday to work the field with the mombies(cows) with one of my uncles be4 going back to the house and prep for school.
Thank God the school was just a few yards away from grandma’s house.
kimmie
March 29th, 2010
11:15 am
Oh Carlito, to your earlier question about the guy taking the lead:
I am independant, because my parents taught me & my brothers & sister to be able to take care of ourselves in every way. They wanted us to be self-sufficient. Having said that, when a man has a plan and has my respect to the point that I want to sign up on his plan, share in his vision, then I don’t have an issue with him taking the lead. Not that it is easy, because I am used to doing for myself out of necessity. But as long as the respect is there, and I am respected for the intelligent adult that I am, following his lead is easier. We compliment each others strengths & weaknesses. We are partners, but there is only one head. When I have to do everything and make all the decisions and I can’t trust that something won’t get done before I do it myself, I don’t respect, or need you.
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:15 am
Dreams, there is a difference between direct descendants and those who have Americans introduced to the bloodline, for sure. If I dated an Italian American, meaning the daughter of one Italian Parent and one American parent or anything other than two Italian parents some of my family back in the old land would be pissed. It is all pretty messed up.
On the Sicilian, Italian American thing, there is a lot behind that. those are the one’s who consider themselves “white”. They are from southern Italy, no pride. SO you can Imgaine once they get her they try and associate themselves with “whites” to an extent
SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires
March 29th, 2010
11:16 am
Dan Why I gotta be a pimp? Maybe it seems a bit strange since I hadn’t really been dating like that during my tenure on the blog because I had all my eggs in one basket for too dayum long.lol So is it just a little different to hear about me out in the dating pool again?
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:17 am
Melo, some adults have easier jobs than some kids have chores.
If I ever have kids we are moving out of the city 
Kimmie, nice post. Once the respect is there you are ready to roll.
SexyCool
March 29th, 2010
11:19 am
An aside – I’m going to put a sign up on my office door that says – “My office door being open does not mean that I have time to talk to you and it certainly does not mean that I *want* to talk to you.”
gggrrr!!!
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:19 am
The funny thing is, so many Sicilians have ‘African’ blood many Sicilians are very dark with curly hair. In the summer when I travel most white people think I am black and most black people think I am mixed with black and white.
Professor...
March 29th, 2010
11:20 am
@Slim, if you are dating and having fun there is nothing wrong with loading your basket. In fact, load them in the Easter basket and a winner will emerge. Plus it gives you a chance to see what you like and dislike, what works and what doesn’t etc.
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:20 am
SexyCool, so there is no open door policy?
JtJ
March 29th, 2010
11:21 am
@ Slim: RE: Little Entrepreneurs and lawn cutting- While house hunting this weekend, we saw these 2 little boys going through the neighborhood with their lawn mower. My fiancé told my son (14) that was what he used to do to make spending money when he was young. My son always has his hand out for money, we told him he needs to learn how to start making his own. —Kids nowadays are spoiled—including mine, but I will unspoil their behind!!
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:25 am
@Carlito??
hw about the mob thang..which side does it originate from(nrth or south) or maybe u dont wanna answer that coz i hear, their reach is too deep and ubiquitous and their strike,very fierce??
SexyCool
March 29th, 2010
11:27 am
Carlito – you gets the gas face. LOL!
Technically – there is an open door policy – when you actually have a business need.
However, it’s the same two damn old ass dudes coming in my office every frickin’ talking about NOTHING!!! I don’t want to hear about this one’s daughter or that one’s heart meds every dern day. More gggrrr!!!
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
11:31 am
LOL SexyCool. My door stays pushed up most of the time. But that don’t stop one lady from coming in just because.
Dan
March 29th, 2010
11:33 am
@Slim
Dag, I can’t tease once in a while? I mean, what you do.
I’m all about collecting “eggs” as it were.
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
11:35 am
And you know what I really hate SexyCool is this one guy that comes in and plants his hinny on my desk. I hate it. I actually put a tray in that spot and he pushes it over to give himself room to sit.
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:36 am
@Carlito??
do go ghost on me now be4 answering 11.25….
by the way,Guiliani is my uncle!
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:36 am
dont go
Luvbug
March 29th, 2010
11:39 am
My door stays pushed up most of the time. But that don’t stop one lady from coming in just because.
SexyCool/Raqi- Same thing here. Sometimes for fun, I look towards the door when I hear the footsteps, and dang if I don’t see one big eye looking back at me through the thin space in the door.
It’s pretty creepy, but funny…my two big eyes looking dead at her one big (left or right) one.
SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires
March 29th, 2010
11:39 am
Dan Yeah, you can tease…I prefer that anyways to the normal Go straight to the bullseyes…oh wait…we’re talking about something else. Um..yeah you can tease. Wasn’t being snippy but i’ve heard these little comments from a few folks lately. I was just like, am I supposed to latch on to every dude as if we’re in a serious monogamous relationship…hayo to da naw. If i’m not doing to horizontal tango with em all, I say Date on. lol
Professor...
March 29th, 2010
11:41 am
Guiliani is my uncle…lmao
SexyCool
March 29th, 2010
11:41 am
Rock – I wouldn’t mind if they would stop say “Good Morning.” and keep it moving, but it’s often a 5-10 minute conversation that I find myself having to keep from grimacing through.
(All in the name of good employee/co-worker relations. Since I am manager, I am tasked with *setting the tone*)
gggrrr!!!
SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires
March 29th, 2010
11:42 am
JtJ – my little 8yr old cousin asks me for money almost every week. He doesn’t even try to low ball it..he starts out at $100. I’m like, you can go clean out my cat liter box for $7. lol
kimmie
March 29th, 2010
11:42 am
For all you Housewives of NYC viewers, Bethanny got married over the weekend.
Dig That
March 29th, 2010
11:42 am
@Slim
Ain’t nothing wrong with a lil horizontal tango and polka. Lol
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:43 am
Today is my first day in our new location, No more temporary cubicle. I am back in my OWN office. The drive to dawsonville was not that bad. I was going against traffic.
Melo, the mob. mafia or la cosa nostra is Sicilian in nature but it was by far not the first “mafia” Italy has a loooooooooooooooong history of that type of thing. before those terms there were just “clans” , “families” or “cosca” that ran in crime syndicates in a a particular area or city…they just took over what they wanted.
Dig That
March 29th, 2010
11:44 am
@Slim
Sounds like your lil cousin need to holla at Carlito. He might even give some benefits.
i'm swiss
March 29th, 2010
11:44 am
Morning all,
Um… busy day, no time to catch up, but…. Did someone send out a call for lickin’ lessons??? Lemme check my training schedule…
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:48 am
Proff??
I was trying to be slick with that and let him know,im asking but i still got the skinny from the inside,thanx to my uncle!
Dan
March 29th, 2010
11:50 am
@Slim
You’re a young (and I’ll assume attractive) lady that it out in the world.
How you conduct your affairs is between you and the one’s you conduct them with. Forget the comments of those that would replace your judgment for theirs, or their code for yours;
it is your life to live, love, and learn from.
Never forget ^^that.
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:53 am
Funny, conversation from this weekend. I told Julia, that I wish I could have experienced a strong black woman and also a fat girl in bed before we got back together. She said at the same time I said no. She then goes how would you feel if I told you I wish I could have experienced a black man before we got back together. Right then I realized that the line had been crossed and I should just keep some thoughts to myself. LOL. So, I will just continue to wave at my neighbor and have virtual relations with you fine women on here.
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
11:54 am
Speaking of those predictable ways that I wish would change…
Like 4 minutes ago my husband calls me here at the office. I say tell him I will call him back in 2 minutes when I get off of this other call. Not even 30 seconds when I see the light out on the line the he called in on my cell phone rings and guess who it is. It never fails. I put the other person on hold, answer the cell and tell him I will call him right. Instead of saying okay he proceeds to tell me why he called. That’s when I tell him to hold and finish my other call. This happens the same way every single time.
He justifies his reasoning as if it wasn’t important he would not be calling me on my office phone in the first place.
He does the same thing sometimes when I am out with my friends. If he calls me and I don’t answer for whatever he will call one of his friends whose wife is in attendance with me and tell him to ask his wife to tell me to answer my phone.
I’ll come back from the powder room sometimes and one of my bff will say will you please call that man.
But as I said his reasoning is if it was not important he would not disturb in certain situations. He is so predictable in those instances.
Melo
March 29th, 2010
11:54 am
Melo, the mob. mafia or la cosa nostra is Sicilian
@Carlito…yeah,dang those arabs! To call Sicily in Italy is just a misnomer.Im sure those folks have more in common with the tobacco cheweing arabs of nrht africa than with europeans?? Iam glad they treat those arab descendents like that coz in africa,those nrthern african arabs(egypt,morocco,tunisia,libya) dont even regard themselvs as africans.
They do,when its about discrimination from the whites but within africa,they carry a chip on their dang shlders!
Phluck those Husseins!
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:55 am
SlimOne ad Leggs, better not be out there spreading themselves to thin, well not before I teach them how to make sauce.
On that note what Italian dish do I need to post the “how to make” this week. Did anyone try the marsala? LOL
Carlito
March 29th, 2010
11:58 am
Melo, I know what you are talking about it is all pretty messed up.
Raqi, when he wants his wife he wants her. I am the same way at times with my lady. It is just the side effect of good loving and happiness
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
11:58 am
LOL SexyCool. Yeah some of these people just don’t how close they come to being cussed out if not for the fact that it’s my duty to handle those type of situation among the employees so I have to stay free of it. Now there are two that I will tell to go to hell in a heartbeat, but they know me and have known almost 20 years.
kimmie
March 29th, 2010
12:00 pm
Carlito – I was too sick to muster up enough energy to shop for the marsala ingredients & make it. I did get a burst of energy Saturday evening and I had some pizza dough from Trader Joes I needed to use, and some fresh mozerella, so I made a margherita pizza. Got compliments – even the kids liked it. It’s my favorite kind of pizza, very simple.
Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)
March 29th, 2010
12:03 pm
So, I will just continue to wave at my neighbor and have virtual relations with you fine women on here.
Umm sooo does that mean that I’ve officially gotten my blog swirl on Carlito….lol
Professor...
March 29th, 2010
12:05 pm
wish I could have experienced a strong black woman and also a fat girl in bed
Hmmm Carlito please be careful with this statement we do not want to confuse you with a past blogger that wanted a fat girl in bed.
Dig That
March 29th, 2010
12:05 pm
I told Julia, that I wish I could have experienced a strong black woman and also a fat girl in bed before we got back together.
@Carlito- Might not have been the right thing to say. Although that does go back to a conversation we had last week. Telling our spouses our random thoughts might not always be good to share.
@Radiating- that would drive me crazy baby. Hopefully he will grow out of it.
Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)
March 29th, 2010
12:07 pm
we do not want to confuse you with a past blogger that wanted a fat girl in bed.
Melo
March 29th, 2010
12:08 pm
Professor… ??
which one is that??
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
12:10 pm
Carlito, Nah he is just demanding like that when it comes to certain things.
We were at this couple fun thing once and the question was presented “Would you work for your spouse” and “Would you hire your spouse” and we answered on card about like the Newly Wed game.
He answered “My wife would do a good job running my office”. My answer was “Just give me the divorce papers to sign right now”. LOL
We are partners in life, but when it comes to his business I am a silent check signing partner and that’s how it gonna stay.
However I have give a more serious comment, should the time really present itself where I needed to be there I would be. Not even a second thought given.
However, however, the Almighty will have to help me. LOL
Professor...
March 29th, 2010
12:10 pm
@DIG THAT~ I am glad you said that I did not feel like going there. It would drive me nuts as well.
@Sassy~
I’m just sayin’
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
12:13 pm
Hopefully he will grow out of it.
DigThat, he is soon to be 43 so I doubt it. I have become to expect it but it still drives me a little crazy sometimes. He does it at home too. He will call me from wherever he is in the house and call me two more times before I get there.
Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity
March 29th, 2010
12:16 pm
kimmie, I don’t know if you know this or not but I hope you do. What is the best salt substitute? I cook with many different spices and herbs but now that I am trying a low salt diet I am looking gives good taste in the place of salt altogether. That potassium chloride that is used as a salt substitute has a horrible after taste. I can’t use it.
kimmie
March 29th, 2010
12:26 pm
Radiate – I asked a few here at work because I don’t personally know of any. One of my coworker’s husband is a diabetic & is on a low-salt diet as well. She said he uses Morton’s salt substitute. He said it tastes okay if it’s cooked in the food, but to sprinkle on food it tastes “different”.
I don’t use a lot of salt in my cooking at all, but I grew up like that. My mom used just enough, and we were not allowed to sprinkle extra on food. So now I am very salt-sensitive and I’ve gotten used to food with less salt. I know it is probably tough finding a substitute.
Leggs
March 29th, 2010
12:31 pm
@Carlito – give you props for your honesty…but remember, most random thoughts keep to yourself. I remember when a gf came to visit and my ex asked if she said he was cute before leaving. I looked at him crazy, but looked even crazier when he told me she had nice breast. I had to school him right on the spot.
Also, Carlito, I too moved back into my office today. I’m not sure if I’m going to like these new people around me. I thorougly enjoyed the solitude!
I am whatever you say I am
March 29th, 2010
12:34 pm
I do not understand men at all.
There, I said it