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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Too predictable

Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but here it goes: You’ve become predictable.  I know, it’s hard to hear. I spotted this on Twitter the other day: “Men don’t know how to throw curve balls anymore, they are so predictable.” quipped Amber Jolie a fellow blogger.  I think she is referring to those good curve balls! That thing men do or say that really shows he’s in it to win her heart.

Women aren’t hard to please! Just as you guys are simple creatures, so are we..well we can be, sometimes. When the moons are aligned just right and you have managed to keep us smiling all week long.  Seriously though, I think women are easy to please in the sense that we love to see gestures and efforts by the men we date.  When a man does something out of the ordinary (see Friday’s post!) it adds to the attraction a great deal.

To be fair, women have moments of predictability too.  Men can sometimes hold preconceived notions about what they consider to be typical woman behavior.  Sadly, we end up affirming these and it becomes negative reinforcement.  This is when women constantly call or text, worry about where the relationship stands every other minute.  It’s something I don’t think a lot of women keep in mind when interacting with men.

Why do you think being predictable can be such a drag on a potential relationship?  How  could men and women avoid being too predictable?

435 comments Add your comment

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:21 am

But now wait last week the ladies said they like to plan everything.. Im spontaneous and like to just go where my car drives me. I love riding by a spot and just pull over to check it out. Ive been dating on the cheap here lately though, going to museums, parks and just anything out of the norm… I dont even go to the normal watering holes like Atlantic Station or The Luckie Lounges.. Im always off the beaten path because I hate the Hollywood “everybody in a video” scene. Even if you do go to dinner try and make it somewhere youve never been. Its a big city and I love to explore it.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:21 am

Melo, you are funny. LOL. On the farm when it is time to work, it is time to work. :)

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

March 29th, 2010
10:22 am

I see nothing wrong with dating other races at all.

Me either… ;)

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
10:22 am

Carlito about the carsalesman, it’s funny you said good luck because they don’t necessarily have a good track record. He had us tripping out the whole time, which i’m sure it part of the salesman MO. So we all got on sayings and stereotypes about AA’s. He was like, you know how folks say Once you go black, you never turn back..Well he said, Once you go white, you know you’ve been licked right. :shock:

Dig That

March 29th, 2010
10:23 am

“IMO women are more unpredictable than men. Guys really never know from one day to the next if we are going to cry or laugh hysterically.”

Those were my thoughts exactly @Radiating

I got a case of the Monday’s but trying to shake them fast. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

@Carlito
Let the kid water the grass. He probably just wants to do something nice for you while you are away.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:24 am

Infamous, I agree. Everything I do down here is new to me. Club scenes are not my style except every now and then. A lot of haters out and about when you stick out.

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
10:25 am

Infamous “Even if you do go to dinner try and make it somewhere youve never been”
That’s why I like to participate in the Restaurant weeks whenever they are happening. That way you both can choose a spot that you’ve never been to, yet eat for a cheap price in case you don’t like it, you wouldn’t have drained the bank.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:26 am

Carlito – Let him water the grass and tell him you’ll pay him with gum and his mom with Hard…..

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

March 29th, 2010
10:27 am

Carlito per your 10:19 I’ve only been in one serious LTR and even then he didn’t take the lead on those things…so he got let go.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:29 am

Slim, the Italian carsalesman considers himself white? LOL

Yes, I will let him water it. He walks his dog with me when I walk my dog and I go over and shoot hoops with him in his driveway some mornings. I think he will do just fine. If he follows the schedule I will pay him $50 via his mother, but I will slide him a $20 on the side as our man to man agreement. Because mom might tell him to do something else with the $50, and of course I will tell mom that I gave him a $20 on the side just so she knows :)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:29 am

Carlito – Its all good just hold ya ground when youre out and soon they’ll recognize your a cool dude.. Right now youre paying your dudes towards your ghetto pass.

abc

March 29th, 2010
10:29 am

To me, predictable is good. Mrs. abc likes it that way, too. We don’t need some adventurous surprises to entertain ourselves with.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:31 am

Carlito – For 70 bucks I’ll let my 4 yr old water your grass. And he will have supervision on site..

Luvbug

March 29th, 2010
10:32 am

I’m cool with predictable and a little different from time to time.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:33 am

Infamous, everytime I am out jogging or in the yard I see her. She is a 5′4 very nice looking black woman. That smile will kill you. She has placed the invite all over her face, but she and I never have spoken besides a wave. The opening is there and I will admit I have been tempted but I did not act. I have other stuff going on. Sometimes if I see her out I actually run the other way. She is so fine, single(never anyone there and she is always home) always getting some work done to her house. Her car has an AKA license plate and the tag numbers are “54QT” If any of you all are AKA’s tell her that her neighbor thinks she is “HOT”.

(Looks at a Picture of Julia to snap me back) LOL :)

Professor...

March 29th, 2010
10:33 am

@Carlito- how many days will you need him to water the grass? I am not sure the going rate, but $70 might be a bit much…he is still using your water and just walking next door. :grin: I will low ball him for $68.50

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
10:35 am

“the Italian carsalesman considers himself white?’

Carlito – not exactly sure what he considers himself…at one point he told me he was black too so go figure. lolol Btw, I’m looking for an evening part-time job…can I come water your grass?

Melo

March 29th, 2010
10:36 am

I never really dated outside of AA except that guy I told the blog about that was Mexican. So this ought to be interesting.

@Slimone??

u sounding really kinda fleet footed these past 3 to 4 weeks…really taking this dating rotation to a higher level.Thats 3 guys and im wondering how u gon to zero in on one if u keep looking like that! :lol:

@Proff??

wings and fries on most Friday nights and just chill, and used that money saved to do something big UNpredictable when the time is right.

I agree..For me, a woman consantly looking for some constant unpredictable thrill is a red flag! Coz u cant keep up with her maintenance smetimes and in the real world,that can be hard to do when u settle on her longterm.

Either u steal money or get some other hook up inorder to cover for ur budget deficits or u thrill her short term and bench her! :lol: :lol:

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:37 am

Infamous, that is true. These guys down here will try and punk you with a stare, like they have something to prove. I have not time for that, but I do not back down :)

You know most Italians think we are black but would never admit and our bravado get us into some sticky situations sometimes.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:38 am

Slim – you can come water mine. Or as some people say. Mines..

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed :-)

March 29th, 2010
10:38 am

I will admit I have been tempted but I did not act.

DON’T DO IT! That’s too close to the fort Carlito

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
10:39 am

Infamous, my life as it has been and is require me to be a planner. When dating, even now, I have to make arrangements for certain things. However that does not mean that the man that was able to get with that had to be predictable when it came to dating.

When he and I were together he could be spontaneous. Especially the weekends that we would spend together. I had no problem after making those arrangements when he showed up on an early Saturday morning and stated that we were driving to Chataeu Elan. Or we would drive up to the mountains or to the beach without prior notice to me. It wasn’t always dinner and a movie. Although some planning was required it was not predictable dating.

DreamsMaterialize

March 29th, 2010
10:39 am

Professor
Yeah they were married for 53 years. They could captivate a whole room once they started talking about all the places they’d been. Shopping in Paris and Italy, concerts in London, The Great Wall, cruising the Mediterranean, crossing the arctic circle in Norway, seeing castles in Germany. That’s the direction my ship’s headed…just looking for someone who wants to get on board.

Now about the blog bar…I can make an emergency opening. lol

Dig That

March 29th, 2010
10:39 am

Damn Carlito. I wanna bid on the watering grass job. Lol
DK is right too. You gon have them haters until they see you are cool. I have seen it happen so many times and been guilty of doing it. Its a right to passage that’s all.

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:39 am

Carlito – Where do you live? I’ll take her off your hands and return the favor from my side.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
10:39 am

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:40 am

Professor, I will be gone from Wednesday to Monday. I just put down a multi- treatment so it is very key that it stay moist. I think he will do fine. :)

SlimOne, I don’t think you should know where I live nor should you and I be in the same place at the same moment. :)

Luvbug

March 29th, 2010
10:41 am

I have seen it happen so many times and been guilty of doing it. Its a right to passage that’s all.

Dig That – Thanks for admitting that.

Radiating Ardent & Quaint Intensity

March 29th, 2010
10:42 am

$70 to water your lawn? Heck this April (soon to be), nature is going to water your lawn.

I wouldn’t even pay my own son $70 to do a chore around the house.

But that’s just me.

Dig That

March 29th, 2010
10:43 am

@Luvbug
I can be only real and that was part of my upbringing. And it is a way to actually weed out the punks. That’s why I tell Carlito to stand his ground. That’s when he gets his respect.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:43 am

Infamous and Dig That: True! On the fine woman, I really wish someone I know would “get with her” because that would automatically erase her from my vision. A blog guy is excellent because then she could not come by my house crying about how my friend used her. I would be like “I just know him from a blog”

JtJ

March 29th, 2010
10:45 am

Predictability is bound to surface in all relationships new and old. In dating, no one likes to see it early-on, but if it is not a major issue, don’t dwell on it. Some people don’t do spontaneity thing and are quite comfortable with where they are and what they like do. In dating, I could gauge at least the first few months are filled with outings and trips to show each other a good time and find out what they really like. After that, you can pretty much predict that your time will be spent doing what each other likes the most. Predictability is acceptable to a degree, as long as you are trying to do the same thing all the time.
Morning All, hope everyone had as good a weekend as I did…

My relationship started towards the middle of football season, so I knew we would spend a lot of time at games and watching football. Now, as much as he loves football, he knew I wasn’t trying to spend our weekends watching games, so on Saturdays, we did what I wanted to do, and on Sundays, I knew what was up.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
10:47 am

Early last week, TheDude surprised me with a gift bag from Macy’s. Thursday night, he surprised me with tickets to the Thrashers game. Saturday afternoon, he surprised me by suggesting we go UP Stone Mountain.

All little things. Simple things. Nothing really out of the ordinary. But all made more special because I could not have predicted them happening.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:47 am

Raqi, I just laid Lime,Seed, Fertilizer and Straw last week. If you know about lawns you know that the keeping the soil wet down to 1/4 to 1/2 inches is vital the first two weeks daily. Even thought it may rain that does not mean that the soil is getting proper. And if it does not happen the grass will just burn out and that is tons more expensive. Carlito will have the greenest weed free lawn in the subdivision. Yes, you can predict that, besides $70 for 5 days worth of work is nothing. he has to water each spot for an hour and it needs to be moved a total of 4 times each session.

DreamsMaterialize

March 29th, 2010
10:50 am

You know most Italians think we are black but would never admit and our bravado get us into some sticky situations sometimes.
Carlito Is your family from southern Italy? In my interactions, there seems to be a huge divide between northern and southern Italians. Northern Italians think they’re better and have lots of negative things to say about southern Italians. I’ve heard them say such things as “southern Italians are lazy”, “southern Italians are criminals”, “southern Italians will bring down your property value”, “you can’t trust southern Italians”.

CoolShadow

March 29th, 2010
10:51 am

It wasn’t always dinner and a movie. Although some planning was required it was not predictable dating.

One thing to note is that the person you’re dating has to be receptive to creative and occasional spontaneous dates. If someone constantly nixes any attempt of stepping out of comfort zones, it may be time to step away from them. Receptivity should accompany creativity and not feel like pulling teeth.

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
10:51 am

If I had kids or wanted them, they would not get paid to do chores.

City kid chores, take out the garbage, mow the grass, clean house, dishes etc.

Farm kid chores, take out the garbage and burn it, mow the fields(atleast 50 acres), tend the livestock, help birth calfs, work the fields, bale hay, tend the fences, sand bag the river during flood season, shovel half mile driveway during the winter atleast once a week etc. Nope never got paid for any of that.

kimmie

March 29th, 2010
10:51 am

Good mornting blog!

Carlito – Yeah, help the kid out. He looks up to you. I have a nice neighborhood kid that looks out for my lawn. He graduated & is suppose to join the Navy soon, so I’ll have to find another. I’m really going to miss him because he was so dependable.

As for the subject, of course, and I can only speak for myself, I REQUIRE responsible predicability when it comes to finances, taking care of family & home. As for dating, I’ve noticed the more a guy is into you, the more creative he is, even if he is normally not a creative person. He is always looking for ways to make you happy, within his means. I am naturally a creative person, and while I don’t have to have a constant adrenaline rush, when I see a guy making an effort, it motivates me even more. Especially when I see my efforts will be appreciated. It’s give & take. I understand we can all get in a rut sometimes, though. All I ask is that you be open to possibilities. Like Melo & I discussed last week, I’ve had to shed myself of some friends who limit themselves and won’t venture beyond the same food, music, travels, etc.

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
10:52 am

“Thats 3 guys and im wondering how u gon to zero in on one if u keep looking like that”

Melo – well there of course is one ahead of the pack at this point as far as who gets more time, attention etc. (ole boy who claims to never have been in love & was sort of guarded but is starting to relax a bit) Que bro has a lot going on so his schedule hasn’t permitted us to really get together recently due to all the district stuff with his frat as well as some other things I won’t disclose on the blog. So up to this point, it has just been these two guys. As far as adding Salesman to the mix, he hasn’t necessarily been added. Love my AA’s but I figure it doesn’t hurt to at least dip my toe in the water. I won’t know if he will be a viable candidate until after we meet up outside of the business realm. I will keep you posted.

“you can come water mine”

Infamous – what are you charging, how often, etc?

“I don’t think you should know where I live nor should you and I be in the same place at the same moment”

Carilto – why is that?

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
10:58 am

Slim – Oh I can charge you for watering my grass.. Thats even better

Leggs

March 29th, 2010
10:58 am

@Carlito ~ yes, indeed, leave the neighbor alone. That picnic is too close for comfort. Well, long term comfort that is.

My weeked was busy with track meet and waiting most of the day for the Comcast tech. I think they need to shorten their window of “wait.” We have other things to do besides wait on them!!

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
11:00 am

Dreams, My ancestors are from the North. Italy was unified in 1948, but many Italian still see it as it was…Sicilians, Florentines, Venitians, etc. Northern Italians have more of a Roman and German rooting system where as Southern Italians have an Arab rooting. Geographically the north is more wealthy and industrialized whereas the south is more underdeveloped. Imagine comparing the United States to Mexico. And those who are always trying to get to the U.S.. that is kind of the breakdown. A few Northerners are bling and intimidated by them or it is kind of a bug deal if a Southerner makes it in the the Northern regions. It’s hard to explain without sounding racist. But basically the view is that the southerners are more leisure and lazy and the northernes are to serious and work to hard. I hope this helps a little.

Leggs

March 29th, 2010
11:03 am

@Carlito ~ guess, it’s like that everywhere….northerners vs. southerners, new jersyians vs anyone from The Bronx/Brooklyn, so on and so on!

Carlito

March 29th, 2010
11:03 am

Leggs, I am not going to mess with the neighbor. But she is one fine woman.

CoolShadow, I agree there has to be room for it. Some people do not respond well or are never pleased when you think out of the box.

SlimOne, because you have described your “phatty” to much on here and I would probably want it. So you stay away from me, I stay away from you and we stay cool :)

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
11:04 am

Infamous – Charge the service provider for their services for you…where dey do dat at?

SexyCool

March 29th, 2010
11:04 am

SlimGoody – On that 1022a you posted – “Once you go white…”
Co-sign.
That is all.
LOL!
:)

THE INFAMOUS DK AKA MR WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?

March 29th, 2010
11:05 am

Carlito – Its like North America versus South America. Northern States vs Southern states.. Or No Cal vs So Cal..

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
11:05 am

Carlito – I would just leave her at home. I can’t always take her with me…the phatty that is. :lol:

Dan

March 29th, 2010
11:06 am

Well, for me there’s predictable and what I want to do (three completely different things).

While I want the women I date to have fun and I make concessions for that, I still have things that I want to do. And if she wants to occompany me, great; if not, that’s cool too.

Thing of dating (and the way to keep it from getting stale) is to have and show the person(s)for Pimp Slim you’re interested in, things you like to do. If it’s nothing more than people watching in the park on a nice day, or go-cart racing, let it be tings that represent facets of your personality.

That is, if you have one.

SlimCoo-Coo Rollin in on 4 new used tires

March 29th, 2010
11:07 am

Sexycool “Once you go white” Yeah he had us rolling. Even my aunt was like, ya’ll gonna mess around and have me divorced. LOL! But I had told my homeboy what he said and he was like, i bet he had a chick for an hour, 45 minutes of that would be licking that puddin’ & only 15 mins of pumpin’ lmao :oops: