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How flexible are you?

If you’ve ever been on a date with an uptight, straight-laced person, then you already know how much fun it is to be around them.  It seems as if these individuals are not always aware that they come across as uncompromising and inflexible.  I’m not the type to turn into some doormat for a man.  Believe me, I can speak up and express my opinion without hesitation.  However, I am also able to go with the flow and relax too.

I think that while dating around,  you absolutely have to be able to keep a good attitude.  If you go around with hard and strict rules about every single thing then you are bound to run off a potentially great match.  How flexible are you in dating?  How do you handle sudden plan changes?  What do you do when you don’t get your way on a date?

Have you ever dated someone who was stubborn and set in their ways?  Is there a point where you have to either accept them for who they are or call them on it and ask them to bend a little?

I think when you have been single and on your own for a long time, your compromising muscle seems to atrophy a bit.  What is a good way to exercise it a little?

495 comments Add your comment

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
12:09 pm

on the flip side women prisoners don’t get the same loyality from men that are free…go figure!

Lady J – Of course! Some can’t be loyal to a long-distance relationship with a free woman, much less a prisoner!lol.

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:10 pm

Because you do have standards, and don’t stroke his ego, he’ll hang around forever, until one of you tranfers or you give in

Isn’t “forever” a long time…lol

If I gave him some, he’d probably go away finally

At this point in that situation, that’s probably what it’s come down to…waiting it out..so he thinks. Long haul.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:11 pm

kimmie lmbao!

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:11 pm

Women marrying cons and ex-cons is old news. That has been going on since way back when.

Some of those women just like the badboy rough necks. They get off on it. And then some women believe them when they say “it wasn’t me”.

Leggs

March 25th, 2010
12:12 pm

@lurker ~ it would have been so much better if you hadn’t turned to look at him. Girl, you might want to get some skin-so-soft and spray it around your office….it keeps all the bugs away!!

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
12:12 pm

Skirting won’t change the answer. I can respect you better being upfront.

lurker Keep in mind men don’t like rejection and you’ve already done that on several levels. As I’ve said he’s used to having women fawn over him and that’s made him spoiled as well as lazy and ill equipped to step to you like a man about his bidness.

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:13 pm

If I gave him some, he’d probably go away finally

Yep in lightning speed. LOL

Melo

March 25th, 2010
12:13 pm

lurker??

what industry is that u work in where u have to call each other by titles of mrs or ms, instead of susan,joe,beccky or natalie,whether one’smarried or not,dont matter??

@Ared??

I know u special and u dont roll like that.Some NYers call GAnts country too…but they also mean different and no harm.

Country is good tho..im country too with a dash of city sprinkled in.

I like my cow balls,tongue,offalls(u know the tripe etc with cow dung mixed in)pumkin,chitlin,collards and okra and red pepper! :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:16 pm

melo – Don’t be asking folks who didn’t really live there or were stuck on some army base how Cali folks roll! Go to the person who put in some real time there! :lol:

And you’re right…there is nothing wrong with being country. It just is what it is!

Melo

March 25th, 2010
12:18 pm

If I gave him some, he’d probably go away finally

@Ared?

this happened to me. Good thing tho,we were cool buddies but i alwaysz wanted to hit but somehow,she had me in some mouf lock..i clnt utter the words…..untill i finally hit…

only one time!

still good friends but what a damb squid! :lol:

If i can have those angst and “wish I cld hit etc moments” back I wld. :lol:

Mystery is a biaatch!

DreamsMaterialize

March 25th, 2010
12:19 pm

But they don’t know you, right?
lurker Initially only through phone conversation. Cali isn’t like the Bible Belt (for better or worse, however you define it). It’s more acceptable to be open and impulsive (again for better or worse).

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:22 pm

Mystery is a biaatch!

:lol: Yes, I am fully aware that what ever these guys are doing to me with their imaginations is probably much better than they’d ever get from me in real life. LOL!!!

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:22 pm

Leggs it keeps all the bugs away!!
LOL

Sassy Men don’t ever like rejection. Like my mama said, you can ig a person and speak volumes all without saying a word. We have to work together so, I see it’s up to me to set the tone of business only.

Melo No handle/title required. That’s how he addresses me….or usually just by my last name. That particular time was only him trying to find out my status. Mrs nor Ms was necessary.

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:23 pm

Alright Dreams (your 12:19). I’m trusting you ain’t Jack da Rippa…lol

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:24 pm

“wasn’t necessary” is what I meant

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
12:26 pm

I see it’s up to me to set the tone of business only.

Exactly…

DreamsMaterialize

March 25th, 2010
12:30 pm

I’m trusting you ain’t Jack da Rippa
lurker Naw I’m cool. Why, were you thinking of coming over? ;-)

Melo

March 25th, 2010
12:31 pm

Mrs nor Ms was necessary

@Lurker??

next time,just stop that bullshytt in a meeting, with folks around, and say,”Just call me Natallie,sir” and u be str8 forever with that sucker!

Pple resepct u when u shoot str8..they may hate u at first but u be aaaight.

He will respect u much more after that!

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:33 pm

Dreams – Naw I’m cool. Why, were you thinking of coming over?

Can’t do it Cali style. We’d have to do coffee or something in the middle of somewhere, on neutral territory….lol

Melo – Now that I can agree with.

Randy Terrell (aka Kiss Me I'm Irish)

March 25th, 2010
12:34 pm

Sticky subject because it is so subjective. People very seldom recognize themselves when it comes to stereotypes and personalities. I haven’t read the responses but bet most if not all claim to be flexible and also bet by other people’s standards, maybe not as much. It is too random and not really well defined.

I’m flexible when dating but there is a hazard in the road regarding flexibility…because if there are not some boundaries established also, then when you finally push back down the road at some point where the other steps over some imaginary line you have drawn in your mind then the other person is in shock and suddenly saying “Who is this person I am with”. My point is flexible with boundaries is good, flexible to the point of always giving in will come back to haunt you. I definitely have a few of those t-shirts.

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:34 pm

My marido called me 45 minutes ago saying he is going to be in my area and asked if I wanted to do lunch with him. I am about to starve. He knows I am a diabetic. Anybody got an extra sammich laying around they don’t want?

kimmie and Leggs, whatchall eating?

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:35 pm

raqi I am eating sloppy joe! lol

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:37 pm

LadyJ, can I get half? I don’t even have a granola bar today. I think someone has been going in my desk helping me eat them.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:38 pm

yes indeed! lol enjoy your lunch date honey!

mytw♥cents

March 25th, 2010
12:39 pm

We be strokin’! Keeps playin in my head since I call myself tryna catch up. . . Anyhoo, I find it interesting how we have elevated certain behaviors to something folks have to really, really deserve. Meaning a lot of what most will consider to be ego stroking is probably just being a cordial, secure adult who isn’t averse to exchanging pleasantries. Why is it so hard for some to compliment or congratulate next person? This is an aspect of my personality that others seem to find favorable and I’m stuck. Thinkin. Is it really that rare to be a positive person, happy to uplift others?

And if you’re with someone it should definitely be part of the fabric of your relationship. Cuz who wants to be with someone with no redeeming or a lack of admirable qualities? And who wants to be pulling out all the treats in their bag of tricks for somebody they don’t think is the shuga honey iced tea? Then again I also think some folks just don’t want their mate to feel they have the upperhand & get the big head so they hush. Super sad.

P.S.That Carl Thomas cd is de debil!

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:40 pm

Imma be dead by the time he gets here. LOL

I need to start eating bigger breakfasts. A piece of wheat toast and a boiled egg don’t last long.

mytw♥cents

March 25th, 2010
12:43 pm

We be strokin’!  Keeps playin in my head since I call myself tryna catch up. . . Anyhoo, I find it interesting how we have elevated certain behaviors to something folks have to really, really deserve.  Meaning a lot of what most will consider to be ego stroking is probably just being a cordial, secure adult who isn’t averse to exchanging pleasantries. Why is it so hard for some to compliment or congratulate next person?  This is an aspect of my personality that others seem to find favorable and I’m stuck. Thinkin.  Is it really that rare to be a positive person, happy to uplift others? 

And if you’re with someone it should definitely be part of the fabric of your relationship.   Cuz who wants to be with someone with no redeeming or a lack of admirable qualities?  And who wants to be pulling out all the treats in their bag of tricks for somebody they don’t think is the shuga honey iced tea?  Then again I also think some folks just don’t want their mate to feel they have the upperhand & get the big head so they hush.  Super sad.

P.S.That Carl Thomas cd is de debil!

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:45 pm

Can’t do it Cali style. We’d have to do coffee or something in the middle of somewhere, on neutral territory….lol

Lurker – don’t listen to them. There are some VERY high maintence women there that don’t roll like that either. But I will say Cali women are usually pretty laid back tho.

Besides, San Diego, LA and Bay area styles are VERY different!

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:47 pm

I wanna visit San Diego it looks beautiful!

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:47 pm

(riiiiiinnng): Meet me down stairs in 10 minutes.

He bet be glad I am flexible. My daddy told me when a boy comes a calling he spose to come in the house and get you. And he betta buy me a piece of cheesecake (do restaurants sell lowfat cheesecake) for making me wait.

Melo

March 25th, 2010
12:49 pm

Imma be dead by the time he gets here. LOL

@Raqi

im having to buy lunch again today coz Queen didnt prep some for me and leave it on the kitchen counter.Thats 2 days in a row!

She slipping! coz thats detrimental to our financial health.

If some sugar mama over here gets to treat me, its her fault!

And there plenty monied sugar mamas around here! :lol:

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:49 pm

Amazon – Yes, I know there are all kinds everywhere. Loose women are not exclusive to Cali neither are frigid to Atlanta.

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
12:50 pm

Raqi – I had a turkey sandwich & some carrot sticks & red bell pepper sticks. I’ve been bringing my lunch for 2 weeks now & saving a lot of money!

Trying to save calories too, but these folks keep bringing in sweets everyday. My willpower has been pretty good tho, if I get some, it’s just a taste.

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:51 pm

im having to buy lunch again today coz Queen didnt prep some for me and leave it on the kitchen counter.Thats 2 days in a row!

melo – Are your arms or hands broken? :lol:

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
12:52 pm

I’ve been all over Southern Cal, but I really want to go to Frisco & wine country!

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:56 pm

yep wine country!

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
12:58 pm

army base

- first i was in the marines…second i was in cali from 90-95…third what i speak is true from my experience…i meet some high maint chicks out there…but they were usually fugazi with it tho….but i bet if someone asked you to break down atlanta you could based on your short time here..right?

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
12:59 pm

but I really want to go to Frisco & wine country!

Me too…it looks really pretty over there. I saw a show on the travel channel about that same thing…it combined a wine tasting and train ride through wine country.

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
1:01 pm

Wine country (Napa) is indeed beautiful.Definitely make the trip. It’s a few hours from San Francisco but wonderful. I once attended a wedding in Napa…talk about romantic!!!

Melo

March 25th, 2010
1:03 pm

melo – Are your arms or hands broken?

@Ared??

somehow my lunch tastes better(and i aint lying) if and when she preps it.

It may have to do with the way she does it or..actually,its the thoght that wraps around the lunch(in ma head) to make it so tasteful and sweet like that!

dont worry if u dont understand,its a condition thats afflicts males and is called marriageotitis!! :lol: :lol:

Leggs

March 25th, 2010
1:04 pm

“…but bet most if not all claim to be flexible and also bet by other people’s standards, maybe not as much.

I’m flexible when dating but there is a hazard in the road regarding flexibility…” That’s funny, because you put yourself right there with “most.”

@Raqi ~ I’m eating right now…rice w/yum yum sauce, collards, a few shrimp and a bbq chicken wing and water. Yeah, cleaned out fridge last night.

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
1:05 pm

melo is spoil! too cute! lol

mytw♥cents

March 25th, 2010
1:06 pm

MELO Apparently Queen is unconcerned about another woman tinkering with her treasure. Or maybe that’s her evil plan!

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
1:07 pm

Amred – That sounds incredible! I always said I wanted to elope to Italy, but if we can’t swing it, Napa can be Plan B!

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
1:07 pm

dont worry if u dont understand,its a condition thats afflicts males and is called marriageotitis!!

- yea from a mans point of view..for your lady to take time to fix your lunch it does taste better…i remember those days….whats funny now that i have run the life cycle of relationships…i find it hard talking to some of these dreamy chicks on relationships…but what i did pick up is the ability to spot a clingon…or a chick with low self esteem

Leggs

March 25th, 2010
1:08 pm

@Raqi ~ sorry, you probably passed out waiting on me!

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
1:08 pm

somehow my lunch tastes better(and i aint lying) if and when she preps it.

melo – I do understand this actually. So there. :P

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
1:10 pm

That’s sweet, Melo!

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
1:14 pm

http://blogs.ajc.com/the-buzz/2010/03/25/is-beyonce-pregnant/?cxntlid=thbz_hm

awwww too cute and congrats to bey and jay!!!!!!

Gary with a Tea had me rolling this morning on the RSMS regarding Bey going to see her new lil brother…..lol too funny!

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
1:18 pm

Not deep, just stupid:

What do you call a male ladybug?

Everyone has an eardrum, but what about the other instruments?

How do you draw a blank?