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How flexible are you?

If you’ve ever been on a date with an uptight, straight-laced person, then you already know how much fun it is to be around them.  It seems as if these individuals are not always aware that they come across as uncompromising and inflexible.  I’m not the type to turn into some doormat for a man.  Believe me, I can speak up and express my opinion without hesitation.  However, I am also able to go with the flow and relax too.

I think that while dating around,  you absolutely have to be able to keep a good attitude.  If you go around with hard and strict rules about every single thing then you are bound to run off a potentially great match.  How flexible are you in dating?  How do you handle sudden plan changes?  What do you do when you don’t get your way on a date?

Have you ever dated someone who was stubborn and set in their ways?  Is there a point where you have to either accept them for who they are or call them on it and ask them to bend a little?

I think when you have been single and on your own for a long time, your compromising muscle seems to atrophy a bit.  What is a good way to exercise it a little?

495 comments Add your comment

SexyCool (Reloaded)

March 25th, 2010
11:22 am

kimmie – either way, he will develop a level of respect for lurker. And really, it doesn’t sound like lurker is interested in him like that. But, he will be back in her face – even if it’s not on *that* tip,

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:23 am

Kimmie, he’s made his way up through this place based on that cause honestly I have him and another person as my direct counterparts and he’s nowhere near as sharp as her. She’s straight to it, all about business and now working on next year’s goals. He’s all about interacting and stuff. Please. Honey get the job done and KIM

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
11:23 am

We’re on our own in the sense that we don’t expect a pat on the back, especially for things we’re supposed to be doing anyway. No one else is responsible for our emotional fitness.

Dreams as adults(men and women) we shouldn’t want a pat on the back for doing things were supposed to…it’s called being responsible. People who search for praise are out there in mass numbers and are as obvious/fake as a $3 dollar bill. However I agree with the sentiment that we are responsible for our own emotional fitness.

lurker on the real that guy is a pu**y who’s used to having women fall and fawn over him and you did something he’s not used to….you ignored him. That’s why he kept seeking you out and checking your whereabouts. He probably was trying to flirt with you as well but since you never took the bait you hurt his feelings and he acted like a real B-I…B-I. The fact that he was openly tryng to hurt you back wreaks of petty biotch.as.s.ed.ness…and that is soo unattractive in a man. Who’d want to date him?…sounds like he needs a pacifier or a tittay in him mouf…..

PrincessNik......supastar

March 25th, 2010
11:24 am

Carlito, good point

Dreams M
“Be careful with that old Carl Thomas though…might get into something”

It hit track 14 and all of a sudden i was mesmerized :oops:

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:25 am

SexyC – You’re so right. Not my style. Neva act desperate and hard up. Because I’ve been in this LOB for years, there are sooo many things I can tell him he’s doing wrong but now ain’t the time. When he’s off his ego trip I’ll give him a few pointers. His position is higher than mine but I have the skills and background. He can feel it a bit too because he asked about her portfolio versus his.

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
11:26 am

Be careful with that old Carl Thomas though…might get into something.

Who that talking bout Carl Thomas?….I done slayed some dragons back in the day with that as my “theme music”…you know every hero gotta have some theme music/. ;)

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:26 am

Sassy – Who’d want to date him?…sounds like he needs a pacifier or a tittay in him mouf…..

LOL…say it sista

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
11:27 am

SCool/lurker – Yeah, yall are right.

PrincessNik......supastar

March 25th, 2010
11:29 am

you know every hero gotta have some theme music

Sassy that made me laugh

Lady J-Lioness

March 25th, 2010
11:31 am

Hey Living Life!!! i feel ya post!

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:31 am

@ lurker – He doesn’t know how to take you since you didn’t take any of his advances. I’m glad you were not like the rest of the women he has been involved with. He will DEFINITELY be back. Majority of time they always come back to a good thing. I’m glad you have standards b/c there are plenty of women out here that are so hard up for a man they would just settle.

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
11:32 am

lurker’s situation is part of the reason for me having two types of men in particular that I never wanted to date. Pro Athletes and Military.

Pro Athletes are full of themselves and Ex-Military are crazy.

Yeah you are crazy Rell. (Just kidding)

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:33 am

Hey Lady J!!! Good Luck on that paper and I know your getting some well deserved with w/o the lil one.

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
11:34 am

Yeah you are crazy Rell

- i was once crazy..its hard readjusting to civy life….you guys are mad sensitive..lol…but i have had my crazy moments

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:34 am

@ Raqi… LOL your right about those military men.. My father went to Nam and I can’t understand for the life of me why my mom stayed. LOL I love pops, but whew.. he fuss too much about nothing for me. LOL

Lady J-Lioness

March 25th, 2010
11:35 am

thanks Living Life and I am! :)

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:36 am

Living – Having Standards is how I was raised. Can’t lay that aside even if I tried. It’s almost like trying to unhear something you’re heard.

Melo

March 25th, 2010
11:38 am

I can’t understand for the life of me why my mom stayed.

@Living Life

she luv him!

Ur dad is it,to ur mom! :lol:

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
11:40 am

Raqi – I’m with you on the athletes & military types. For me, add any dude that’s in a “glamour” field, like tv or entertainment. I dated a news reporter/anchor briefly and lets just say I can’t deal with a dude that’s in the mirror more than me. He was SO full of himself.

I prefer intelletuals/nerds anyway.

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:41 am

lurker-I know that is right!! I talk to my brother all the time and he say these days women do not have standards. He hangs up on them, curse them out, tell them not to call back and they still call back. WTH!!! I actually heard all this and I was like are you serious she is still calling.

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
11:42 am

intelletuals – should have been intellectuals!

Not sounding very intelligent there!LOL!

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
11:42 am

ladies men have away of mutanting normal. Its normal for some men to GTD easily depending on profession…this repetive process will have the man to believe its “normal”. We have a hard time with change….when i came from san diego, where i did not have to “date” but hang out…moving to atlanta where you had to “formally” date someone was hard…i was like in cali we could hit the beach grab some mexican and head back to the room…with no resistance…and she would meet you at the spot or drive to your spot…date 1 2 3 or whenever….here it is not the same…just and FYi…Dig into the dudes past before you proceed. the past is the present until he can replace it with something else

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:43 am

Melo-I know… she said he didn’t always use to be like that so.. she just deals with it..

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
11:44 am

women do not have standards

- your right but niether do men…we all have conditions we want but no one can tell you what they want to do in life or who they want to love…95 percent of us are ships without rudders

Leggs

March 25th, 2010
11:44 am

@lurker, you will soon find him peeping into your office to ask you the stupidest of things. May even find yourself riding the elevator with him more than usual. Just a coincidence, yeah right. Guys like that think if they keep themselves in your presence you’ll eventually have them on the brain….women can “ignore” a person better than anyone.

DreamsMaterialize

March 25th, 2010
11:48 am

Maybe he thought some of us would use this conference to cut loose.
Lurker Conferences and business trips are often just professional, grown and sexy versions of Freaknik.

It hit track 14 and all of a sudden i was mesmerized
PrincessNIK Another glass of merlot? ;-)

Sassy what you know about that Carl? Talkin’ ’bout slaying dragons and stuff… lol

Living Life

March 25th, 2010
11:49 am

While we are on this standards topic.. I have a question.. Almost 3 yrs ago on my bday my niece(brothers daughter) died from Baby Shaken Syndrome at the hands of the mother’s live-in boyfriend. Ok so we went to court last week and the defendant had a girlfriend. I was shocked.. I am like I would not want to date someone that has been charged with murder/murder felony, child cruelty, etc..(5 charges). Maybe she didn’t know initially, but wow, I guess some women are really desperate… I was baffled. He did get Life

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
11:50 am

Leggs ^5 on that 11:44….tell the truth and shame the devil.

every hero gotta have some theme music

Princess I know you’ve got a favorite cd or two that when you play them it’s like you turn into another person. That line actually came from that movie I’m gonna get you sucka but I remember one night right before I put on this “show” for my now ex I put on Carl Thomas and whispered that in his ear.

Melo

March 25th, 2010
11:51 am

I was like in cali we could hit the beach grab some mexican and head back to the room…with no resistance

@Rell..??

so Rell,if a Cali guy or chic says,”Atlanta or GA women are country!” is that a euphamism for,”they dont open their leggs on the fly!??

jus asking for some clarification,thats all! :-)

Rell unplugged

March 25th, 2010
11:54 am

@melo…my time is cali was soooooooo different then atlanta…it was not about the leg open – they were just down to have fun period….there convo was fun and light..they would come to you or meet up instead of hours on the phone…feel me…it was like an easy flow toward a goal…its a lil more rigid here

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
11:55 am

Living Life – I’m not surprised. Dudes in prison & even on death row have girlfriends & get engaged! Usually, though, I think it’s beyond a case of not having standards. There’s some issue with the woman herself, low self-esteem, prior abuse, etc.

That’s why when I hear able-bodied, working, at least decent-looking men talk about how they can’t meet a decent woman, I have a hard time believing it. I encourage them to look in the mirror at self.

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
11:55 am

what you know about that Carl? Talkin’ ’bout slaying dragons and stuff…

DreamsMat when I’m on…I’m on and I go hard ;) That Carl Thomas is the shyt…

DreamsMaterialize

March 25th, 2010
11:56 am

Rell You’re right about that Cali dating. Hit the Santa Monica pier, grab some ice cream. Come over and watch a movie was acceptable too. lol

Lady J-Lioness

March 25th, 2010
11:57 am

@Kimmie the show Prison Wives on ID is off the chain!!! The women are serious about their boo locked up!!!! I don’t do jail! I have a CJ BS degree and refuse to even entertain working with criminals directly….yep laughing now like why did I get that degree! lol That show is funny….me writing someone in jail…never! going to see them nope….lol

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:57 am

SexyLeggs…funny you should say that. He’s already been in here asking “how you are you” and when he introduced me in the first client meeting he said “Mrs…” when I turned to look at him he changed with “ooooh Ms….” so dang predictable. Just ask what you want to know.

Dreams – You ain’t never lied. Folks were hanging out the other night. LOL…Bet half can’t remember what happened.

Melo

March 25th, 2010
11:58 am

I guess some women are really desperate… I was baffled. He did get Life

@Living Life??

I guess u didnt watch Larry King last nite?

That scenario aint even as bad as those women who get married to folks already on death row or in jail for lyfe!

U gotta be wired in some croocked way really or cobwebs may have caused a bad infection and deterioration to/of the brain cells!

:lol:

lurker

March 25th, 2010
11:59 am

“how young are you” is what that should have read

Too, I ain’t wearing a ring so why the “mrs” stunt?

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:00 pm

Dreams – Come over and watch a movie was acceptable too

But they don’t know you, right?

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:00 pm

Dreams – you could have been jack the rippa

Sassy Me...Sun kissed :-)

March 25th, 2010
12:02 pm

I ain’t wearing a ring so why the “mrs” stunt?

He’s trying you and trying to figure you out whilst “attempting” to keep his ego intact. You have the upper hand right now :)

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:03 pm

Does anyone here use an aircard (internet)

kimmie

March 25th, 2010
12:03 pm

Lady J – Imma check that show out. Sounds very interesting!

Naw, a criminal is not attractive at all to me.

PrincessNik......supastar

March 25th, 2010
12:03 pm

Dreams M

Just give me the bottle ;)

Sassy

Oh yes, i definately have a couple of CD’s set aside for “the show out”
Matter of fact i have a couple of cd’s i can’t even listen too outside of the “boom boom room” ;)

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:03 pm

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪La la la la la, la la la la la…

lurker

March 25th, 2010
12:04 pm

Sassy, dudes like that to me are so not bright. I all about straight. Ask what you want to know. Skirting won’t change the answer. I can respect you better being upfront.

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:04 pm

if a Cali guy or chic says,”Atlanta or GA women are country!” is that a euphamism for,”they dont open their leggs on the fly!??

Uh melo?

I’m a Cali girl and I say GA folks are country and no it doesn’t mean THAT! *shakes fist at you*

Raqi

March 25th, 2010
12:06 pm

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Oh baby this is gonna be what you want it to be
I just love you, I just love you, oh can`t you see
That you’re the finest I’ve seen in all my life
You bring me joy

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:07 pm

Kimmie this one lady became a penpal then married the dude…..really…..smh….the show is insightful….on the flip side women prisoners don’t get the same loyality from men that are free…go figure!

AmazonRed™

March 25th, 2010
12:07 pm

lurker – Because you do have standards, and don’t stroke his ego, he’ll hang around forever, until one of you tranfers or you give in.

There is this guy who has been interested in me for about 10 years now. He’s the biggest player ever. And there are always women hanging off his every word. Because I never give into that, he’s always hitting me up and checking in. He even flew to New England to visit me when I lived there (he lives in DC).

If I gave him some, he’d probably go away finally. :lol:

Lady J-you can’t experiEnce success without failure!!!!!

March 25th, 2010
12:08 pm

raiq I was jamming to anita yesterday during the commute home……..Noone in the world loves me the way you do! great song!