Do we need to give up privacy to be in a relationship?

All privacy? Definately not. However, you shouldn’t be doing anything you’d be afraid of getting caught by your s/o. It’s all too true that what’s done in the dark, comes to the light.

How do you handle dating drama caused by Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs, etc.?

I don’t fool with facebook and twitter, people who need to get in touch with me know how. If nothing else my parent’s phone number has not changed in like 35 years, my mother will deliver a message. She won’t give you my number but she will give me yours.

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Hola!

Nope we should not have to give up privacy to be in a relationship, HOWEVER we should not be in a relationship hiding things either.

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I don’t have a problem with my husband reading my emails or blog now that he is my husband.

But you know what I don’t get? When two people are out together yet they both spend the entire time on the blackberry and/or smart phones. I don’t get that. I saw this couple that was walking ahead of me and my companion that was obviously a couple because they displayed unmistakable PDA on the way into the restaurant. However once they were seated within minutes they both were pecking away on their hand units. They looked up long enough to say a word or two to the other but that was it.

One other time I saw this pair that was mother and daughter. When the mother walked up the daughter said ‘thanks for meeting me for lunch mom”. After being seated the daughter within minutes after giving the waiter her order pulled out her blackberry and never looked away for the rest of her meal. The mother soon pulled out a book and read while she ate.

Call me old fashion but I just don’t get it.

We as people are losing our personal connections. I go out with other people because I enjoy their company. I can go out alone if all I am going to do is have my face buried in a phone.

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Kinderbabe, I agree. It’s a matter of trust.

However I would have problem if when I asked to use his phone he denied me the privilege. And I know he would have a problem with me not allowing him to use mine. Or better yet if I asked to use it and he had to scroll thru it or delete stuff before handing it to me. That would not go over too well with me.

I have nothing to hide from him. He has nothing to hide from me.

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They are addicted, kinderbabe.

When we are at home my husband and I very seldom use our cell phones. The only time you may see one of us using it is to retrieve a number from it or if one of is on the landline and someone calls for the other we will tell them to call on the cell phone if they need to speak to us immediately.

And if someone calls us while we are out together I either don’t answer or answer long enough to see if it’s an emergency. If it isn’t I tell them I will get back to them. I do the same thing when I am out with my friends. I will take a call from my husband, kids or father. Other than that I have to call you back.

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Good morning! No digital drama, no analog drama…no drama!

@Prof – mail call.

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What bothered me about this episode was the expectation that the guy would ‘change’ for the girl, because she meant so much to him. A woman cannot change a man. Ever. I was incredibly frustrated watching the young couple especially because it was a case of ‘do as I say and not as I do’. She couldn’t even yell at him in complete sentences because she couldn’t take her eyes off of her own phone, and yet she wanted her boyfriend to change.

How you got him is how you’ll lose him. Rule of thumb.

As for the older couple, I did understand that she was frustrated with his phone use, but chick was nag. I wanted to punch them both! I did agree that dude needed boundaries and at a certain time of night, the phone needs to turn off.

I am big into technology, I like to stay connected but when I am out with friends and family I am out and the phone is put away. If I disappear from the internets, it’s because I am dating someone. I’d rather BE with him than sit online talking about being with him.

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It sounds exhausting and kind of stupid. What do you think?

I think that sums it up…it is exhausting and kind of stupid. As adults we all want privacy and should have it deservedly so. Each couple has to establish their own boundaries with regards to what crosses the line as (un)acceptable. I’ve never made it a habit to go through any of my S.O.s personal things and vice versa…I mean if I have to play CIA covert behind my mate’s back is it really worth it? Alot of times when you go looking for shyt you find it…and it ain’t always what you went looking for.

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Morning pple!

Im old fashioned too.The moment I enter the house,if Queen was talking to one of her gerlz,she will promptly say,”oh my hubby is here,talk to u later gerl!” and drop that ish quick.

Well,she didnt always know,early on….being younger ofcourse.

Untill I told her,”Im priority #1″

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I personally think it’s rude to be out with someone and they text the whole time. I can see if they have a child and need to do a quick check in or address an issue, but to sit there having an all out convo is just Unacceptable

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@swiss that is a good thought…how fun would that be sitting there sexting and getting all primed up for dessert

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Good Morning All,

I read this article this morning and thought since we talk so much about adultry and cheating here it was quite interesting.

A woman facing a $9 million judgment for having an affair with a married man plans to appeal.

Anne Lundquist, 49 , now of Aurora, N.Y. , said Thursday the court system did not give her enough warning about when the case was going to trial and did not grant her a continuance to prepare. She had decided to represent herself because she could not hire an attorney.

“I’m so caught off guard by everything,” Lundquist said in a telephone interview. “I don’t have a lot of money, so where this $9 million comes from is kind of hysterical.”

Lundquist said she is trying to find a North Carolina attorney to handle the appeal and look into whether the courts followed procedure in notifying her of court dates.

She did not attend, nor was she represented by an attorney, at the two-day trial earlier this week.

On Tuesday , a jury awarded Cynthia Shackelford money for alienation of affections, criminal conversation (legal speak for adultery) and intentionally or recklessly causing severe emotional distress.

North Carolina remains one of a few states that allow someone to sue the person who interferes in a marriage — called alienation of affection. More than 200 such cases are filed statewide in an average year, according to the Rosen law firm in Raleigh.

Shackelford, 60 , now of Raleigh , sued Lundquist in 2007 , charging that the younger woman’s affair with her husband ruined their marriage.

Shackelford said her husband, Allan Shackelford, met Lundquist while providing legal services for Guilford College . Lundquist was the dean for campus life at the private school.

Court records show Cynthia Shackelford remains married to Allan Shackelford, 62 . They have been separated since 2005 pending divorce proceedings.

Lundquist and Allan Shackelford contend the Shackelfords’ marriage was irreparable before their relationship began. They remain a couple and live together in Aurora, N.Y. Lundquist is the dean of students at Wells College , a small private school.

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Melo, you are a mess. LOL

I don’t hang up the phone because my husband walks into the house. Yeah I love him and all but it ain’t at all like that. And he doesn’t require that neither do I.

But I will not sit at the dinner table and be on the phone. Nor will I go out with him and spend the whole evening texting, surfing the web or chatting on the phone with someone else. I usually write on my spot or in my personal journal while in the tub. When I do update those while sitting in the bed I don’t do so shutting him out. He is asleep, not in the room or watching something on the television.

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My “Captain” uniform just arrived here at my office. Imma take it on the cruise us.

Imma “cheat” (lol) and let you all see the one I bought. I found it on the web. Let me get to the site. I hope the blogmaster allows the link to go thru.

One sec….

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This is the one I bought.

http://www.spicylegs.com/popup.aspx?src=images/PRODUCT/large/BS-38938.jpg

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Question: when you are dating someone and whenever they leave the room, let’s say to just go to the bathroom and they always take their phone in there, would you see that as suspicious behavior?

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Morning
If you are the type to start/allow drama, then there will be drama, “analog” or “digital”.

I have nothing to hide, but I like my privacy. You’re grown, and I don’t care about your phone records, emails, text history, etc. I don’t monitor grown people, and no one monitors me. If we can respect that about each other, then we’ll be fine.

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Whenever I talk to my married girlfriend I can always tell when her hubby is around, because she’ll begin talking in ‘code’ so-to-speak or comment in a more filtered way. I think it’s funny. For whatever reason, I guess the way folks talk around their SO’s isn’t necessarily the way they talk more freely when the SO is not around.

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Technology has allowed to become social misfits and to “be” in ‘two’ many places at one time. I have seen women I have wanted to approach but they have been so into their phones that I thought, ‘what’s the point?’
Maybe we should learn from the G-Tech basketball team last week. They put away their phones for their first tourney game adn actually started talking to each other – 4 months and 30 games later. Tells you something aobut ‘teamwork’.

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Melo~I gotcha

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Morning bloggers and bloggettes!

I mean if I have to play CIA covert behind my mate’s back is it really worth it?

This statement says it all to me. Me & SO have nothing to hide, but we allow each other privacy & space too. We both have our phones within each other’s reach, but we don’t answer them unless one asks the other to. If I don’t have mine on hand and need to make a call, he has no problem letting me use his. While I have total access, I don’t go thru any of his things. It’s an invasion I would not want done to me. If something is going on foul, I’ll find out in due time, no need to go looking for it. A friend of mine regularly searches thru her husband’s phone & email & FB. She criticized her sister for not “checking up on her man” after her sister’s husbands infidelity was discovered.

And yes, it is the ultimate rude to be on the phone or texting when you are supposed to be out with someone, especially at the table.

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@Tazzee..I thought that same thing. 9 million seems a bit excessive..but what I found funny is the wife sued for the affection but not for divorce. I guess they are still working out the details on that.

On topic..I am big on privacy even in relationships..but I do find it rude to text while talking or spend hours on the phone when you should be giving your SO or kids your attention. Not sure I would take to well so some joker reading my text messages..I need to ponder that.

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Six belly dance classes for $25 found here: http://livingsocial.com/

Get your shimmy on like Staceye!

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Question: when you are dating someone and whenever they leave the room, let’s say to just go to the bathroom and they always take their phone in there, would you see that as suspicious behavior?

SlimOne – My ex did this. He did it from day one though, so I figured it wasn’t about me. But yes, he wasn’t the most trustworthy guy either!

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Slim – Yes, it would be suspicious.

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I have the access,

kimmie – That’s all I’m saying. But some people think it’s crazy to even allow access.

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i would think it strange if the person had to break their back to make sure they had the phone on them at all times.

Slim I have a cheatin azz married cousin who did that once. We were at his home for a family gathering and he lost track of his phone and dude looked sick for about 30 mins til he found it. His wife(2nd wife/former mistress) shouldn’t be surprised but she thinks she can change him for the better cause she’s the shiznit….NOT..

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@Sassy
It actually happened to me once and I found it comical. This was years ago, but this chick actually went thru my phone while I was sleep and had the nerve to wake me up to ask was I banging all those chicks. I was like yeah 9 times out of 10 yes. She was mad because she found out something she was hoping not to find and when I finally woke up I was pissed because she went thru my phone. We just had a couple of dates and it was a miracle that I let her spend the night, but she screwed that all up. Everything was cool until she violated. But she found what she was looking for. Oh well

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See what I mean Dig that was jacked up on her part to do that but she found what she was looking for…but what good did it do her? That’s just foul all the way around.

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Once you look for something and find even the smallest infraction, it’ll become addictive and will eventually turn you into another person. You’ll constantly be in P.I (private investigator) mode. Everything from checking pockets, phones, hacking into email accounts, checking mileage, *69′ing, looking for receipts & the amount spent to see if it was a bill for 1 or 2…etc. Just too much energy to put into trying to play detective. If someone wants to do something, they will find away no matter how much you check behind them.

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Really? We checking phones now?

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@Sassy
All she had to do was ask. If there was something I wanted to know then I would have asked point blank. Asking would yield the same results, but she invaded my privacy, what else would she do?

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Asking would yield the same results, but she invaded my privacy, what else would she do?

Just like we’ve said on this blog before people will show you who they really are. That chick was immature and insecure and probably would’ve done even crazier stuff…you know real psyco type isht. I agree asking would’ve been the mature thing to do but the violation of privacy is a definite deal breaker.

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I might just plant some shyt on my phone just to bust you at your own sting!

@Leggs
Too funny. I told my buddy about the incident with the girl going thru my phone and he said that he believed his new chick was going thru his things, but couldn’t prove it. He asked her and she said no. I told him to go buy some panties and plant them. Do you know when he got home she was 38 hot. They were hidden so she had to be snooping. He told me he was so mad. He told her he planted them and showed her the tag and receipt and she felt like an idiot.

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Asking would yield the same results, but she invaded my privacy, what else would she do?

I was taught not to go thru other people’s things. I felt funny when I had to clear out my mom’s things after she passed away. That would be a definite dealbreaker for me. Yes, indicative of future psycho behavior!

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@Dig That ~ sorry, but that was some good advice. Like SlimOne said, it takes too much energy to constantly snoop. If you have to snoop all day everyday, you really don’t have a relationship. And, if you’re that insecure, date yourself!

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He told her he planted them and showed her the tag and receipt and she felt like an idiot.

Priceless…..

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Leggs

10:48 so true. When i was younger late teens/early 20’s i did that kind of stuff but more out of a guilty conscience cause i was doing things i had no business doing myself.

D@mn it feels good to be grown now

To know better is to do better

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Welcome to adulthood @Princess

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@Leggs
Are you saying you never go by yourself to avoid looking desperate?

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Leggs – please do not let anything Melo says influence you. (teasing, kinda)

And as far as going out by myself, I actually find it kinda relaxing and do it often. It’s almost like dating myself. Hell, if I don’t enjoy my own company, why would I expect that someone else would?

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Dig – I had a boyfriend who used to plant traps all the time for his exgirlfriends and he tried to set one for me. He left me in his apartment alone to run out and get dinner. This was early in our relationship. When he got back, he looked around at all the traps he set, like small strips of tape hidden on his dresser drawers, “pictures” in places (that were really of family members I found out later), etc. Everything was in tact, just like he left them. He could not believe it. I told him I was not raised that way & frankly was not interested in his things. I definitely looked at him sideways after that though.

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The only funny I have when it comes to cell phones “opps“ (I think I told you all this before) is once when we were at my bff for a dinner party. She and I at the time had the same exact phone. I was helping her out in the kitchen and I took my phone from my pocket and laid it on the counter. While we were all mingling and sitting around there was an alert on my phone. Her now hubby heard the phone and told her someone was “alerting” her. She told him to answer it. It was a text message. She asked him to see what it was. The message said, ‘Girl I want to sex you up’.

He brought the phone in where we were all sitting and asked her who was sending her the message. She looked at the phone and the message was from “Mase”. She laughed and handed me that phone telling me I had a message telling her “hubby” that was not her phone. He had sent me the message earlier but it was just coming thru. After that we both changed our phone. No more mix ups. LOL

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Blutooth????? I hate those things. It aggravates me when someone is standing beside you and the ask a question or say something and you think they are talking to you.

In fact, I hate when folks are talking on the phone and are speaking in loud tones. We don’t want to hear you conversation.

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@DigThat ~ for some reason I told myself I was going to start going out by myself and I was going to start with Hairston’s cuz it’s not too far from home. But, when Melo made that comment, for some reason it stopped me dead in my tracks. I feel I’m a very personable person and could chat up with anybody, yet something about how he said it made me say “aww hell no” to myself.

@SexyC ~ I know, I know (lol). I plan on changing things this spring/summer and go out by myself. It will be different, but I’m game!

@Melo ~ you probably stopped me from meeting some real nice jerks (LOL).

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That’s another thing that I don’t get about folk who go out and wait for someone to *ask* them to dance. Hell, if I wanna dance, gdmnit, I will go dance by myself.

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Amred – Yeah, I had never been knowingly “tested” before!

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“Hell, if I wanna dance, gdmnit, I will go dance by myself.”

SexyC – I’m with you on this one. Whenever I do go out with a girlfriend or whatever we always dance. Then you’ll get the dudes tat stand on the side of the dance floor watching you having a good time…next thing you know they’ll be easing up behind you trying to dance on the sly.

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Raqi – you are correct, in fact he doesn’t demand that I get off the phone now. I just do it.

AmRed – I was just talking about belly dance classes with someone Friday. That deal popped up right on time.

kimmie – you are right, transparency = access. I can’t think of a time when my guy was shady in our conversations. However in my past dealings, shady responses usually = something to hide.

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“…..One of the girls asked her boyfriend to keep his phone unlocked so she can do “spot checks”. Another girl stated that both her and her boyfriend “agreed” to allow access to each others emails……”

If I have to resort to this, I don’t need to be in a relationship.

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you probably stopped me from meeting some real nice jerks

@Leggs

Haristones is a nice grown folks party place.As long as u have no thirsty inntentions and u got ur own drink money,its nice to go dance some stress away.

I go every now and then coz its the nearest grown folks party place for me. The thing i hate about it is there are some females there that u will see,no matter how many weeks pass between ur visits.Much like OSS….

Those are some miserable females.

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@kimmie
now that is silly. Drama Queens are not limited to the ladies, there are plenty of Drama Kings that exist as well.

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Leggs – Folks like that need to get a life. I just don’t have the desire or the time. And I’m secure, otherwise I don’t need to be in the relationship. The dirt will surface anyway, cause after a point folks get sloppy. Just pay attention.

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Dig – I have been accused of being a little too nonchalant or “cool”, but some folks don’t think you care unless you keep some mess going!

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If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything. If someone has to have the right to check their SO’s phone, emails, whatever, then they already lack the fundemental requirement for a relationship. If he or she is causing that much angst in one’s life then you are already building on sand. If an SO asked me for open rights to my “space” then I would start edging toward the door. If she wants to know anything, ask. That is all it takes.

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@Sassy
Now we may be use to the Drama Queens, but the dudes that keep mess is sickening. You right they won’t admit it, primarily because they know they need a smack across da mouf with a backhand. Quit actin like a biatch lil buddy.

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I’m bout to dial them people at Latte anynomous for you Sexy Cool. I can see you over there waiting on a fix. LMAO!!!! Please sir just give me half a cup and a corner of that muffin. Please hurry up.

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It’s usually easier to let people hang themselves.

And you can believe that eventually they will.

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Dig – I need help. I’m like Felish on Friday – a fiend for the latte.

“Craig. Crrraaaiiigggg…can I borrow your VCR?”

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primarily because they know they need a smack across da mouf with a backhand. Quit actin like a biatch lil buddy.

^5 Dig cause I’ve always thought men make the worst biotches. at the smack across da mouf..remember when granny would do that?…like literally smack you on the lips for something grown you said.

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Leggs – girl, you know I’m messing with you. Don’t mind me.

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TwoLincolns, you better stop that madness. LOL

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@SexyC ~ I know, but you made a good point that goes back to what Melo said. I said I would buy my own drink, implying I would sit there nursing that sorry sucker until someone came along and offered to buy me another. NOT, so your DRANKS really was on point!

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Hey Sassy. Bad teeth, bad food, and bad weather….and sheep.

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Seriously, how do you not factor in oral hygiene. I guess I understand the hairy armpits and lack of deodorant, but a jacked up grill. I don’t get it. Not only that, before the mouth gets that messed up, don’t they have a bout with abscesses, toofaches, bad bref???

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Do we need to give up privacy to be in a relationship?

Yes.

I’m not for routine spot checking and spot calling and spot 20-questioning, but I think relationships require some degree of voluntary openness, and I feel more comfortable in relationships with guys who are naturally and/or voluntarily open.

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thats cause these ho’s be trippin! i stay on blackpeoplefuc..I mean meet! ui know carletta be in rich cell all the time!

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Carletta won’t let me date online.

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@ Raqi ?

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or at least Amsterdam for a weekend next month…

That should be interesting

Your occupation sounds hyper-important and complicated….so umm why you single? Does your job make a relationship impossible or just hard?

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there ae some down sides to government run health

Randy, that right there ^.

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Do you ask her and check for a questionable response?

Luvbug, I agree with you. If I can’t ask my husband about something I feel that I need to know or merely want to know we have a big problem.

Even when we were dating if I wanted to know something or about someone I asked. If he had had a problem with that I would have assumed something foul brewing. Think I like about him is he will give me some type of answer. Even if it’s one I don’t want to hear.

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If you don’t create a vision for each part of your life, someone else will do it for you. The intentions of others will fill in the blanks. You see… you’re always working to fulfill some vision. Either you’re creating and fulfilling your own vision, or you’re working on someone else’s vision for you. There is no neutral. – steve pavlina

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@ Raqi – yes…more than most people know. I’ve seen government medicine…it helps some but hurts a bunch.

@ Luvbug…she was there two days in a row…I probably should have counted them the first time just to be safe.

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At the end of the day what teachers do has a more lasting effect. I just get paid more.

Well said. You the shyt Randy!

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I love Ared season 2

Nice name.

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after what Sassy said, I will probably be looking thru my Big mac more carefully…

My bad did I get a lil too enthusiastic…. I’m sowwy.

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In England people with a lot of money can pay for secondary insurance that somehow bumps them up the queue somehow. I have an associate here who is in his forties, and a bad hip and could hardly walk. It took him over two years to get to the front of the line to have it operated on, and if he missed that schedule he would have dropped to the back of the line again.

Dentists are really hard to get in to.

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@DM I know what you are saying but I think it will end up like here anyway. Once the first step is taken down that road then the destination becomes inevitable. Sooner or later most companies will just drop out of private insurance and it will fall in to what the UK has…just my opinion. Just because of the economics. ,

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I am glad that our HCR does not equal that of the UK. My benefits won’t change, but I will be taxed at a higher rate for Medicare and the hospital insurance tax (not sure what that is). But I have no problem with that.

There are many folks that go to the emergency room for seemingly non-emergency issues because they don’t have healthcare. Or better yet – they wait until an issue reaches emergency level because they don’t have insurance. Ultimately, our tax dollars pay for that too and that’s how you end up with hospitals like Grady coming close to going under – not enough tax dollars to make up for that deficit. Well…that and poor fiscal management (sometimes) but you see that everywhere.

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I’ve never own my own business where I needed to provide health insurance. How do you feel about small business owners being able to contract with other small business owners and collectively acquire health insurance for their employees under one umbrella?

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How do you feel about small business owners being able to contract with other small business owners and collectively acquire health insurance for their employees under one umbrella?

This already happens.

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“I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I’ve been thinking
Maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I’ll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won’t complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

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Sorry, that comment is in response to Leggs.

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Still no need to go looking. You already see what you are dealing with.

Dig – I’ll disagree with you there. Some people are purposely deceptive. Some people have been wronged so many times before, that they are paranoid and make mountains out of molehills.

Double lives happen. Sure you can walk away, but if you want proof, walk away with that too (even if it’s proof that he’s faithful and now you just blew it by snooping). If I suspected my man was gay or on the DL, I’d want to be sure.

“Signs” can be wrong and misinterpreted. And not everyone is that intuitive. If you want proof, get proof.

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Ok, I wasn’t aware. Didn’t pay attention I found it interesting when I heard about it because it made perfectly good sense to me.

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Randyt
Private insurance is available in England, but they only cover acute specialists and can deny coverage based on preexisting conditions. I believe this set of doctors are separate from those operating under the national health care. So, I don’t think people can go to the front of the queue, just that there’s a smaller number of people with access to doctors that everyone else can’t access. If companies feel that they have to unfairly compete with a government insurance plan, then I agree they will drop out. However, I think companies will remain as long as we can maintain the free market exchange.

Luvbug
I’m not worried about seeming feminine, but I just don’t feel it’s necessary to monitor another grown person. It takes too much energy. If I notice something, I’ll ask about it, and the result of the discussion will let me know what I need to do, leave or stay.

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when I heard about it because it made perfectly good sense to me.

@Leggs??

Its supposedly going to get cheaper under Obama care for those companies to pool their employees into one Big group and get a rate for individual employees coz they are also going to get a tax rebate just for offering to get their employees insured.

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I don’t dig… S/O in about our 2nd year left my house one evening but forgot to sign off his email account. When I realized he left it open I paused for about 15 seconds, then just closed it.

When he called me from the road (as usual) I told him he left it open, he said oh yea? I said I just signed you off.

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The World Health Organization ranks France & Italy as having the best health care in the world & they have universal health care, like most industrialized nations in the world. The UK is ranked 18th & the US is ranked 37. It would be nice not to have to worry about losing your health care if you lose your job.

I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews about France’s health care. Wonder what it is they are doing right? I’d like to hear about that, other than the horror stories about the UK & Canada’s health care. What works & not what doesn’t.

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I just gave some thought to what the healthcare plan will mean to trying to get a doctor’s appointment…good lawd….

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I wonder how many of the Tea party people voted for Obama last year??

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“But on some real foul ish.. I had a chick I was dating pull a background check on me”

DK – I’m sure almost everyone in here has at least Googled or did some sort of internet search on a person they’ve met, dated or used to date before…at least once. But an all out background check…hmmmm that’s a negative

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theres no need for a back ground check on Ya Boy..

Maybe she thought you were some kind of Clark Rockefeller or sumthing…..

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I’m sure almost everyone in here has at least Googled or did some sort of internet search on a person they’ve met, dated or used to date before…at least once

SlimOne – Google and a Facebook check. Y’all ain’t gonna make me feel bad about accessing PUBLIC info.

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I have a girlfriend who will run back ground checks, go through court records for marriage/divorce decrees, mortgages to see who’s name its held, etc., business records, jailhouse records, reverse phone look-up….

Like most people here, if I feel its necessary to do all that then I have no business with you period.

Hellz she’s probably run one on my s/o, but she better not let me find out LOL.

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LL411 – Yeah, everything about that was wrong. They deserve each other.

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Sassy – Yeah thats me Clark Rocawear.. Heyal all she had to do was ask me for my license.. It shows Im old enough.. I live where I say I live, my blood type is O Pos and I aint donating nothing after I kick the bucket… Thats all the info she needed..

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“Y’all ain’t gonna make me feel bad about accessing PUBLIC info.”

Ared

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Speaking of checking folks, yall remember the story I heard on the radio about I told you all about a couple weeks ago where the lady would check the mileage in her man’s car to verify that he went where he said he was going. That’s just too much.

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When you get grown and really dont feel the need to lie.. It is absolutely true that you can ask me whatever you wanna know.. BUT… I hope youre ready for the answer..

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Im not crying and dying about no babe.. If I feel I gotta be running behind a babe checking her phone then she aint the chick for me.. No matter how good her Skrawberry Shortcake is..

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I hope youre ready for the answer..

DK – Don’t ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to! Even “no answer” is an answer.

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Seriously, could any of you really be in an all out totally open relationship.

Dude: hey babe how was your day?

chick: boo, it was alright but i’m glad i’m here with you now. I missed you today. How was yours?

Dude: Well, it was cool too but…you remember that waitress chick from dinner last night?

Chick: yeah, what about her?

Dude: well, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how fyne her azz was last night. I mean I sat thru dinner with a stiffy. I mean, I imagined if she had a landing strip, or if it was a phat as yours…

Chick: WTF? are you seriously telling me this?

Dude: babe, i just want to be open with you. Oh yeah, you know those little decorative towels you have in the bathroom that i’m not supposed to use?

Chick: (more visibly mad) YEAH whY?!

Dude: Well before i left this morning I just couldn’t get ole girl out my head and I sort of ‘took matters into my own hands’. I heard you get up when the alarm went off and I didnt want you to see what I did. So in a rush I sort of…wiped my hunch punch on the towel.

(Chick now choking the sh!t outta dude)

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No sister, I won’t make you feel bad at all.

Thank you kimmie. I won’t make you feel bad either. Heck, your employers are googling and searching Facebook for you too.

One of my friends couldn’t figure out why she was never invited to her dude’s house. So she checked his property tax records (again, public info you can access online). And he was listed with his wife.

Had he been honest, she wouldn’t have had to go looking.

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Plus, some stuff just ain’t yo bizness

kimmie, I am a believer of letting the past stay in the past. But when there is something going on in the right now and it piques my interest imma ask a question or two.

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Kimmie – Amen Amen and let the church say Amen again..

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Melo – Give the number thing a rest. It’s just silly & immature.

kimmie – In melo’s defense, I brought it up, because it’s an example of how people aren’t as open as they say they are.

But melo of course took it to the other level.

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If a persn is lying.. It’ll come out.. I repeat.. It’ll come out without all the Private D!ck work.. Dont use the public records for a common sense substitute..

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Ared can i get my chain. I dont want to be voted off this seaon.

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and let the church say Amen again..

Imma gone head and put a 10 spot in the collection plate…for the building fund…

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well, because I’m mysterious like that….

LOL!!!

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Amred – Then why even ask the question is my question!LOL!!

kimmie – You’re missing the point. You can find several people who stated their mates can ask them “whatever you want to know” I’m just saying that’s not true cuz bring up the “sex number” question and those backpedals start spinning.

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@Phatty Catty ~ unfortunately, that’s a silent true conversation taking place in some minds!

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Melo – You just gonna have to trust me!LOL!!1

Guys?? where is Carlito??

U see how these chics do us??

Im gonna ask about her number and she frowns and then comes and kisses me firmly on my lips and says,”baby,why do u worry about that stuff..its gone be ok baby,trust me OK..my number aint even that high”

and then she goes to her gelrz and says,”Shaneeqwa,do u know what that negro was saying gerl ?”

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yep Stalking all day long. But for a chick thats just being careful. right

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You can’t assume grown folk have common sense

Sassy, not just that, some folks want to know what’s up before they get too involved. Especially if suspension is there already.

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Amred – I got your point all day. That “just ask me, I’ll tell you” sounds good, but I wonder how many would really follow thru with it. But dudes come on the blog and go into their litany about how women lie, especially about “that” and my question to Melo and the rest is why even ask it.

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Looking up someone’s address after they have given you their whole name is not the same as following someone home to find out where they live. Or stalking them and showing up to where they go. Or asking their family and friends questions behind their back.

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I got your point all day. That “just ask me, I’ll tell you” sounds good, but I wonder how many would really follow thru with it

kimmie – Not many!

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i dont care about the numbers…all ya have wh0r’d for some dude..all women have got the knees dirty..all women have drank the babies of a couple of cats…some women have had lesbo experiences…some women love/tried getting there “rosebud” pushed in…some women have gotten down in group love/three screw..some women have had one night stands..some women have been smutted out in the name of love..ie. some cat use love to knock the lining out the poo cee…so with all that in mind – when she looks at you and smile just know she in the moment with you and not in the past with those other cats…who cares about numbers….but i will say this..if you over your friends house and he is like check out this chick i have on tape..if thats your bench then worry!!!

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LOL Infamous. Why would you even tell your potnahs? If I was dating and I did a background check on someone to find something disturbing I would just end it. Let it die a quick death. I wouldn’t even tell them I did the check.

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and my question to Melo and the rest is why even ask it.

@Kimmie??

I dont even know if there are men who ask that qstion. If i have to ask that qstion,it means I dont respect the woman…I neva had to unless if the woman was a Samquecha..u know what i mean??

How can u even dare ask that kinda qstion to a classy chic,u hope to be with,if things work out??

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some cat use love to knock the lining out the poo cee

Now that a wordsmith!!

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@ Leggs.

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Coming from the girl who got to read that racy email…….. When your in a relationship with someone who is incredibly consumed by their work (i.e. computer, blackberry, internet), and you start to notice that lately you haven’t been getting so much attention. When you walk by the computer screen, you see he has photo’s of models up, hot chicks, etc. etc. you want to know, is it all professional? IS every minute spent online really for work? The email was open, and I obliged myself to it. He’s been able to view my inbox and I, his. Obviously, what I found I didn’t like… I had spent a month in Alaska over July, and things were stirring around in my crazy girl brain (as most girls do). But the girl he wrote was the one who began the inappropriate talk, bringing up a threesome that was completely irrelevant to the conversation. We had been at the bar that night, I was feeling my liquid courage build, and blurted it out in front of the camera. Something that should’ve stayed behind closed doors. I think if someone has a doubt in the relationship, and if that other person genuinely cares about their significant’s feelings, they will do everything they can (within reason) to help them understand. In this case, if allowing access to emails is it, that should be a small gesture. Not to be taken too extreme…after all, if you had to hide anything anyway, why be in a relationship to begin with? Devin and I don’t play games… that night was just an accidental circumstance.

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Well we had this discussion the other day and it was clear we don’t tell our mates every little thing. I won’t tell my woman that this fine chick tried to holla at me just like you won’t tell your mate you saw a dude that made you a little moist. That is really kind of trivial. And most truth is the truth we want you to have. Mainly we tell you the truth that you can handle. Snooping and rambling are trust issues.

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WHA?

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Amazon, when the ??? are there a spouse has the right to do what they have to do. Now was he right for killing ole boy? Some husbands will say SURE, but Law & Order says no. LOL

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Mainly we tell you the truth that you can handle.

Ex-squeeze-me? In the words of Chad Ochocinco…..chile please

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Amazon, when the ??? are there a spouse has the right to do what they have to do.

Raqi – I don’t disagree. Folks are on this “searching is unnecessary” that’s not always true. When trust is dissolving..and you have years invested, it’s not always realistic to leave over a hunch or an instinct.

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@Leggs
I agree with you. I was actually responding to something that ARed said earlier. I damn sho don’t want to know everything and I would not appreciate a woman asking me every little thing either. I was gone for a minute and saw the conversation went from access to emails etc. to hiring Private Investigators.

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Some husbands will say SURE, but Law & Order says no. LOL

@Raqi
Too funny. I damn sho don’t want to be in front of Jack McCoy trying to explain nothing

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Do we have enough time in 12 hours to blog,facebook,iphone/crackberry,email,evite,myspace,work,get ur hair done(females) and then phluck??

do we??

no wonder cobwebs are runnning wild.

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bend over on the dance floor and proceed to channel her inner slut

I see a married woman bend over some guy like that (again), im gone be mad for the hubby! Hopefully he is not in the same club,by the bar or sme,looking and smiling as his wife is shacking her bountiful azz and rubing on the dude’s scrotch and sticky Dick.

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“i have seen them get a couple drinks in em..bend over on the dance floor and proceed to channel her inner slut”

And they always seem to pick me to bring the inner slut to life.

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Rell, just a lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman that you thought you were playing reservoir.

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@dig that…please tell some of thise stuffy steffies that folks have lost there entire mind in these streets…chicks are getting it in in the club..i went to esso’s on saturday..lawd i could have sworn it was the poor mans trapeze….i think some chicks were getting there poo cee on the dance floor to lil ru – nasty song

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Rell, just a lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman that you thought you were playing reservoir.

-i m under no spell – i know thd difference between a bench and a lady…but sometimes you will meet a lady in bench mode

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LOL TwoLincoln. Slim is gonna folks checking hand towels and wash clothes that have mysteriously placed.

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These chicks are off the chain out here. If I told yall a fraction of what these women tell me and try to do to me on a daily basis, you would not believe it.

-aaaaaaaaaand thank you….but remember dig that…not these chicks they have never been out of control..but there are she-devils running around now…and the heat and freaknik on the way…..stand by

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Dig – I would believe it. Absolutely nothing surprises me anymore. All kinda mess going on out there!

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See it aint no fun when the rabbit got the gun..

yall too funny

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@ARed
All I can say to that is ……………
Nosey people never really need a reason to be nosey and nobody is gonna change them.
***MENTAL NOTE**** Don’t leave cell phone unattended around ARed. Lol

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@Topic……Learn how to ask questions the right way and you will not have to waste precious time snooping. If you don’t trust the person you need to jump ship! Their are plenty of honest good people in the ATL you just need to know how to spot them!

@SexyCool………I already knew you wrote the 2nd edition of How to do PSH!!! I betnot catch you out inthese mean streets…. YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts……………. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Rell is dropping dat real knowledge……… THE COBWEBS need to be removed (Right Now)

A survey says most women only have had 4 lovers from ages 15 to 59…..Really I wonder what country are they talking about!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women don’t count one night stands,or any sex that was not good, or random hook-ups! YEAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

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@raqi – have you seen bk finest yet..they have a scene in there that speaks to the whole mixing of nut juices…the chick just wipes off with a wet wipe and ready to get back to work turning tricks

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Leggs no all sperm doesn’t smell..it’s actually dependet on what the man eats/drinks that determines that…from what I’ve read/heard.

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Women don’t count one night stands,or any sex that was not good, or random hook-ups

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Sassy, how you know. You a vergen too. LOL

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Sperm that smells? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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Yes, sperm that smells can make you throw up in your mouth!

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@Leggs….. You asked the right person Raqi is an expert…… YEAAAAAAAA!!!!!

@You can also ask SexyCool and AmazonRed they too are experts!! YEAAAAAAAAAA

@I am…… How you doing today? Still going to marry dude in another state? I bet you dream that story uo didnt you? YEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

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Rell – Yeah I dont know whats goin on.. I seem to be attracting married women too.. Im like Damn it Man..

Married women – Im cool on the married babes but ya’ll aint gonna keep trying me with the lifting up ya skirts, battin ya eyes, serious flirting and mess.. Just because I have skruples and honor your relationship, Ya better Gwon on now.. I cant keep being all good and stuff..

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Leggs, little jimmy threw up in your mouth, so return the favor. LOL

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Fellas…… Married woman are in heat……at the gym they are smiling and looking while the husband is right there. They are bringing up sexual conversations when you are talking about how good the spinning class was……..What in the hizze is going on? YEAAA!!!!!

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leggs why you not jumping on the fellas talking the same ish i am talking

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I guess theyre catching up with married men.. I see married dudes hitting on my female friends and I dont knock the hustle but Bwoi! They dont know what they are getting into.. My Homegirls think like dudes.. They got more game than Summer Camp..

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Who making love to your old lady while you are out making love?????

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I was walking thru the crowd and I seen her with her team I tapped her on the shoulder and said I like them Jeans..

This mentoring thing I tell ya.. I hear some of this High School music and some of it catches me..

TravYYYY!!!

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Raqi – Im gonna spare em a beating cause I aint gonna be the cause of another black family being destroyed.. Although this one here lately has been very hard pressed trying to give me some.. Ive been avoiding the chick cause she already told me she’s gone get me.. As soon as she get me somewhere where I can run from her.. And when I say this chick is bout 5′10″,Ballet dancing, AKA, paid Babe, bow legged super fine bad a$$ MF. Its been hard on a Playa.. Hard on me I tell ya to thwart her advances.. I mean she walked in the party and every dude stopped.. It was like the music stopped, somebody had a portable wind/smoke machine and her own theme music started playing.. Bad I tell ya.. Oh OK Im back..

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@Raqi, I not exactly in a position to return the favor, but thanks for the thought!

@Rell, if I jumped down your throat that wasn’t my intent. However, your whole post seemed to be laced with venom so I thought I asked. I could be reading it wrong, so I asked. Your entire post is the same thing that men do but it seemed to be a slur. And then your answer to me was full of marlarky.

@Melo ~ you can still taste it w/o swallowing! I’ve already explained how and was told I gave away a gem so I can’t repeat for those who don’t remember it.

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Rell – Im give ya Dre, Snoop and Devin.. You know the one..

Devin the Dude – Your favorite rappers favorite rapper.

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Melo – Nah Dogg I am ruled by a code and part of that code is.. Married women are off limits..

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Infamous, pretend like this isn’t me because I know some folks don’t like to hear me say such things. But if that woman is out there on the prowl like that her man is at sleeping in every sense.

There is a saying, “Don’t go to the grocery store hungry. You will buy more than you intended.”

Like a woman is to keep her man’s belly full and the prostate empty. Her man should leave no standing room for the tourists.

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Like a woman is to keep her man’s belly full and the prostate empty.

Raqi – I just told a gf something very similar to this just this morning. I substituted *SACK* for *prostate.*

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Her man should leave no standing room for the tourists.

@Raqi!

how many times u and u hubby do maintenance work in ur house, ur bedroom in particular,taking care of thoise walls??.

It must feel like some lil manufacturing thang is going on when u and mason are at it!

Lucky MASON!

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#RandomThought – Wondering who moved Atlanta to Seattle without telling me.

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how many times u and u hubby do maintenance work in ur house, ur bedroom in particular,taking care of thoise walls??

Melo, As Needed.

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Heck Rell, I’m lucky. I like good sex just as much as the next MAN.

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I dip out for a minute, only to come back to the smell of a mans nut juice. Smells like ajax to me

Men you always want chicks to ’swallow’ but maybe if you increased your fruit & berries intake that it would make it much more palatable. DUH!!

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@Carlito “Daddy’s home, I know you’ve been waiting for this loving all day” heyyyyyyy daddy…phatty catty’s been bad. Come closer and I’ll whisper in your ear what I think my pleasure..oops I mean punishment should be

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@Slim
I keep the fruit intake healthy. But I’m glad you brought that up because I do my part just for the ladies. Lol

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@prof…is there something wrong with raqi statement?..why do you feel that way

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http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/Dispatch/market-dispatches.aspx?post=1724774&_blg=1,1724774

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SlimOne, you don’t want this Italion Stallion. You will end up in the kitchen, in heels, making homemade sauce. I like to lick the spoon.

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@Slim
Exactly and be looking at me like damn buddy I like that. Good because its plenty more where that came from.

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“Good because its plenty more where that came from.”

Well at least with the new healthcare reform the chicks will be able to get care when they need to get their stomachs pumped. Ewwwwww!

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Professor, I see you

Leggs, ciao bella

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Holy Moly!! The tide has shifted.

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DM “bad kitty” puuurrrrrrrr

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Slim/phat Catty??

do u know of chics who braid their pubs??

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@Luvbug

Not forest!

i got a mandingo name

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Melo – No you don’t.

Don’t make me hurt you here.

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Fingerwaved what?! What is wroNg with people?

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@Luvbug?

why u gonna hurt me when im trying to promote solidarity and oneness!??

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Whatever Melo

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melo have you ever jehri curled your ballz? Soul glow ballz

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If its enough to braid. Then a rat-tail ain’t gon do it. It’s a jungle down there. As macho as I am that would make me run.

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Dude’s will need a rat-tail comb or a machete just to find the little man in the boat

@Slim..

u arent beiong creative!

she will braid the sides,leaving the lil thang out in the middle,untouched. When he gets on there,ofcourse there is a couch like feel, i guess,coz of the extra padding of the braid!

worth a try!

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Like two pigtails?!

Wow! Just wow.

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One of the best moves i know is for a woman to put beads around her waist and then leave them on there whilest making luv.

Nice feeling esp for the man!

good good nite!

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***MENTAL NOTE**** Don’t leave cell phone unattended around ARed. Lol

Dig That – You wouldn’t have to worry about that. As said before I’ve never gone thru a phone, and certainly wouldn’t do it for someone I don’t care about! Lol

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You a’ight!

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Should a partner communicate (email, phone or FB) with ex’s during a new relationship?

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I agree its causes a great deal of problems for early relationships I met this guy for a date and talked on my phone gor about 2 more minutes before getting out the car and he went south and got upset and asked me what took me so long to get out the car he lost trust instantly .

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