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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Digital dating drama

I caught a few minutes of MTV’s True Life: I Have Digital Drama and I realized that I am truly an analog girl in a digital world. (Shout out to Ms. Badu!) I am connected to a lot of devices, but I don’t have one problem unplugging from time to time. Especially if Mr. Wonderful is within arm’s length. Priorities people!

The show follows people who are so plugged in to their digital worlds that their “analog” relationships are suffering.  Even though the people in this show were younger, I have seen similar dynamics with people of different ages.  Imagine you have managed to get into an actual relationship with that text message abuser. Things are going great until you realize that the reason they are text message offenders  is because their thumbs are surgically attached to their smart phone.  What happens when you both have a bad habit of being too plugged in, though?

One of the girls asked her boyfriend to keep his phone unlocked so she can do “spot checks”.  Another girl stated that both her and her boyfriend “agreed” to allow access to each others emails.  They thought it would actually work until he saw her reading an email from an ex-fling. She didn’t like the racy tone and he didn’t like having to explain his private communications. Talk about reality checks!

Do we need to give up privacy to be in a relationship? If so, exactly how much are you willing to give up?  How do you handle dating drama caused by Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs, etc.?  What would you do if the person you were getting really serious about asked for “digital” access? I don’t know about this. It sounds exhausting and kind of stupid. What do you think?

395 comments Add your comment

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
2:40 pm

and my question to Melo and the rest is why even ask it.

@Kimmie??

I dont even know if there are men who ask that qstion. If i have to ask that qstion,it means I dont respect the woman…I neva had to unless if the woman was a Samquecha..u know what i mean?? :lol:

How can u even dare ask that kinda qstion to a classy chic,u hope to be with,if things work out??

Leggs

March 23rd, 2010
2:40 pm

@Rell ~ why do you come on this blog always sounding mean, rough, don’t give a damn about nothing. I don’t I’ve ever heard a smile in any of your words!

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
2:41 pm

some cat use love to knock the lining out the poo cee

Now that a wordsmith!! :lol:

AmazonRed™

March 23rd, 2010
2:41 pm

So…right or wrong?

Was the husband in the movie “Unfaithful” right or wrong to get the private detective on her while she was banging the French dude?

Was the wife in the movie “The Hands that Rocks the Cradle” right or wrong to assume her husband was sleeping with the best friend while they were planning her surprise bday party?

Lies were told, one got proof, one went off a hunch.

AmazonRed™

March 23rd, 2010
2:42 pm

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
2:43 pm

Outside of finding out if someone is married, wanted, or a hardened criminal what else is there to even try to find?

Why would someone even care that someone hasn’t paid their taxes yet? Why would you even be looking up that type of stuff?

Susie

March 23rd, 2010
2:43 pm

Coming from the girl who got to read that racy email…….. When your in a relationship with someone who is incredibly consumed by their work (i.e. computer, blackberry, internet), and you start to notice that lately you haven’t been getting so much attention. When you walk by the computer screen, you see he has photo’s of models up, hot chicks, etc. etc. you want to know, is it all professional? IS every minute spent online really for work? The email was open, and I obliged myself to it. He’s been able to view my inbox and I, his. Obviously, what I found I didn’t like… I had spent a month in Alaska over July, and things were stirring around in my crazy girl brain (as most girls do). But the girl he wrote was the one who began the inappropriate talk, bringing up a threesome that was completely irrelevant to the conversation. We had been at the bar that night, I was feeling my liquid courage build, and blurted it out in front of the camera. Something that should’ve stayed behind closed doors. I think if someone has a doubt in the relationship, and if that other person genuinely cares about their significant’s feelings, they will do everything they can (within reason) to help them understand. In this case, if allowing access to emails is it, that should be a small gesture. Not to be taken too extreme…after all, if you had to hide anything anyway, why be in a relationship to begin with? Devin and I don’t play games… that night was just an accidental circumstance.

kimmie

March 23rd, 2010
2:44 pm

How can u even dare ask that kinda qstion to a classy chic,u hope to be with,if things work out??

Melo – Gotcha, now that’s what I like to hear!

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
2:44 pm

Well we had this discussion the other day and it was clear we don’t tell our mates every little thing. I won’t tell my woman that this fine chick tried to holla at me just like you won’t tell your mate you saw a dude that made you a little moist. That is really kind of trivial. And most truth is the truth we want you to have. Mainly we tell you the truth that you can handle. Snooping and rambling are trust issues.

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
2:44 pm

why do you come on this blog always sounding mean, rough

@Leggs??

Rell can make u have a flashback in a minute…..

I see some females checking their head dwnwards just momentarily to check if all is square! :lol: :lol:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)

March 23rd, 2010
2:46 pm

mytw♥cents

March 23rd, 2010
2:46 pm

INFAMOUS I agree with you bout the Private D!icks. Plus, I just wanted to repeat Private D!ck. There’s really no reasoning that can justify that kinda violation of privacy. And how come so many folks –especially women I must say-I continuously ignore big waving flaming red flags? Goin with ya gut will negate the need to run that check.

What up, DREAMS? Your day goin well? I’ve never thought that the combo was that elusive either, but I got CS as mommy used to say.

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
2:47 pm

Amazon, when the ??? are there a spouse has the right to do what they have to do. Now was he right for killing ole boy? Some husbands will say SURE, but Law & Order says no. LOL

kimmie

March 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

Raqi – Regarding your 2:43, I was just asking myself that same question.

My intuition (God) never steers me wrong. Beyond a few basic inquiries, if I feel there is more dirt to uncover, I get ghost. I am scared of finding out anything more or worse! I don’t want to know and somehow get involuntarily involved because of my knowledge. I’m not going to prison or he-double hockey sticks for nobody!

Be careful what you look for, cause you just might find it!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)

March 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

Mainly we tell you the truth that you can handle.

Ex-squeeze-me? In the words of Chad Ochocinco…..chile please

Leggs

March 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

@Dig That ~ no man, nor no woman wants to hear everything that’s on your mind. It isn’t healthy!

AmazonRed™

March 23rd, 2010
2:54 pm

Amazon, when the ??? are there a spouse has the right to do what they have to do.

Raqi – I don’t disagree. Folks are on this “searching is unnecessary” that’s not always true. When trust is dissolving..and you have years invested, it’s not always realistic to leave over a hunch or an instinct.

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
2:55 pm

TwoLincolns, because we be in love with that fool and want to give the benefit of the doubt on the lies that he be telling so we let those flags not move us until it’s all blows up in our faces. LOL

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
2:56 pm

@Leggs
I agree with you. I was actually responding to something that ARed said earlier. I damn sho don’t want to know everything and I would not appreciate a woman asking me every little thing either. I was gone for a minute and saw the conversation went from access to emails etc. to hiring Private Investigators.

kimmie

March 23rd, 2010
2:58 pm

Amred/Raqi – I agree, a committed relationship/spouse situation is different. You gotta do what you need to do.

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
2:58 pm

Some husbands will say SURE, but Law & Order says no. LOL

@Raqi
Too funny. I damn sho don’t want to be in front of Jack McCoy trying to explain nothing

Rell unplugged

March 23rd, 2010
2:58 pm

why do you come on this blog always sounding mean, rough, don’t give a damn about nothing. I don’t I’ve ever heard a smile in any of your words!

- why so tender is the real question…are you the blog police or something…no one is mean over here…at all…all that is not called for..i am just shedding some thought on the whole – whats your sex number crap most dudes will fool themselves into believing…i guess you have talked to me lately to see that i am mean or something…you must be bored or something to even ask or assume some silly ish like that…please if you dont like it scroll down per-od.

@melo – what flash back..its the truth..again chicks are out here giving it up and still in relationships…going out recently i have ran into alot of wives out with girlfriends all singing that i am not happy he dont pay attention to me crap – i have seen them get a couple drinks in em..bend over on the dance floor and proceed to channel her inner slut..its a cold game people..per-od

for the record…i am cool..life is good..my nuts are lite, got gas in the tank, food in the fridge,money in my pocket and have plenty of cooperating women to choose from….what is there to be mad about…dont try and throw your ish on me…the universe smiling on me right now…what are you doing

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
2:59 pm

Do we have enough time in 12 hours to blog,facebook,iphone/crackberry,email,evite,myspace,work,get ur hair done(females) and then phluck??

do we??

no wonder cobwebs are runnning wild.

Leggs

March 23rd, 2010
3:04 pm

@Rell ~ not tender at all. But, you really did prove my point. Thanks.

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
3:05 pm

bend over on the dance floor and proceed to channel her inner slut

I see a married woman bend over some guy like that (again), im gone be mad for the hubby! Hopefully he is not in the same club,by the bar or sme,looking and smiling as his wife is shacking her bountiful azz and rubing on the dude’s scrotch and sticky Dick.

:lol:
:lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

March 23rd, 2010
3:06 pm

I was actually responding to something that ARed said earlier. I damn sho don’t want to know everything and I would not appreciate a woman asking me every little thing either.

Dig That – but folks are different. Yes, folks who want to know everything are annoying, but if they feel it’s a valid reason to ask, it’s a valid reason to ask.

Seems folks are open to stuff they want to answer, rather than the question.

And we know you men lie cuz you don’t want to hurt our feelings too. :roll:

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
3:07 pm

“i have seen them get a couple drinks in em..bend over on the dance floor and proceed to channel her inner slut”

And they always seem to pick me to bring the inner slut to life.

kimmie

March 23rd, 2010
3:07 pm

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle – I’ll always remember going to see that movie! I went with my mother and one of my brothers. I cussed out this old swiss lady sitting in front of me. I whispered something to my mother and that lady turned around and told me to shut the H up! I went off and the movie manager came & told her to move. You should have seen her & her little henpecked husband running out of there when the movie was over!LOL!!!

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
3:08 pm

Rell, just a lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman that you thought you were playing reservoir.

mytw♥cents

March 23rd, 2010
3:09 pm

RAQI You know I know, girl. (In theory) Ytake PHATTY CATTY’S crazy behind’s skit Be lookin’ for any explantion cept the obvious one for what happened to our beautifully embroidered $7 Hand towel LOL

Rell unplugged

March 23rd, 2010
3:09 pm

@dig that…please tell some of thise stuffy steffies that folks have lost there entire mind in these streets…chicks are getting it in in the club..i went to esso’s on saturday..lawd i could have sworn it was the poor mans trapeze….i think some chicks were getting there poo cee on the dance floor to lil ru – nasty song

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
3:10 pm

“but if they feel it’s a valid reason to ask, it’s a valid reason to ask.”

@Ared
That I agree with as well, so if that is the case then why do you need to go thru my shyt too?!!

Rell unplugged

March 23rd, 2010
3:10 pm

Rell, just a lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman that you thought you were playing reservoir.

-i m under no spell – i know thd difference between a bench and a lady…but sometimes you will meet a lady in bench mode

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
3:12 pm

but sometimes you will meet a lady in bench mode

:lol: :lol:

u :lol:

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
3:13 pm

LOL TwoLincoln. Slim is gonna folks checking hand towels and wash clothes that have mysteriously placed.

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
3:13 pm

a lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman that you thought you were playing reservoir.

@Raqi
I am officially over here laughing my a$$ off. I had to spell it out on that one.

These chicks are off the chain out here. If I told yall a fraction of what these women tell me and try to do to me on a daily basis, you would not believe it.

Rell unplugged

March 23rd, 2010
3:15 pm

These chicks are off the chain out here. If I told yall a fraction of what these women tell me and try to do to me on a daily basis, you would not believe it.

-aaaaaaaaaand thank you….but remember dig that…not these chicks they have never been out of control..but there are she-devils running around now…and the heat and freaknik on the way…..stand by

AmazonRed™

March 23rd, 2010
3:15 pm

That I agree with as well, so if that is the case then why do you need to go thru my shyt too?!!

Because people LIE.

kimmie

March 23rd, 2010
3:16 pm

Dig – I would believe it. Absolutely nothing surprises me anymore. All kinda mess going on out there!

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
3:18 pm

LOL DigThat. I had an friend associate tell me that she did that to a guy. She served him a nice helping of “man juice” fresh (a couple of hours) out the blender. Then asked how he liked it. (Not telling him the mixture of her nectar) LOL

Luvbug

March 23rd, 2010
3:19 pm

See it aint no fun when the rabbit got the gun..

:shock:

yall too funny

Leggs

March 23rd, 2010
3:20 pm

@Raqi ~ doesn’t all sperm smell. I haven’t had a lot so I wouldn’t know. Wait, that’s not directed to you (lololol), just asking a question and anyone can answer (lololol).

Dig That

March 23rd, 2010
3:21 pm

@ARed
All I can say to that is ……………
Nosey people never really need a reason to be nosey and nobody is gonna change them.
***MENTAL NOTE**** Don’t leave cell phone unattended around ARed. Lol

Lord Velonese

March 23rd, 2010
3:21 pm

LURKER

March 23rd, 2010
3:21 pm

@Topic……Learn how to ask questions the right way and you will not have to waste precious time snooping. If you don’t trust the person you need to jump ship! Their are plenty of honest good people in the ATL you just need to know how to spot them!

@SexyCool………I already knew you wrote the 2nd edition of How to do PSH!!! :smile: I betnot catch you out inthese mean streets…. :wink: YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts……………. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Rell is dropping dat real knowledge……… THE COBWEBS need to be removed (Right Now) :lol:

A survey says most women only have had 4 lovers from ages 15 to 59…..Really I wonder what country are they talking about!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women don’t count one night stands,or any sex that was not good, or random hook-ups! YEAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
3:21 pm

kimmie, me neither. Nothing.

Rell unplugged

March 23rd, 2010
3:22 pm

@raqi – have you seen bk finest yet..they have a scene in there that speaks to the whole mixing of nut juices…the chick just wipes off with a wet wipe and ready to get back to work turning tricks

Melo

March 23rd, 2010
3:23 pm

lot you menfolk are the unknowing dupes that have slurped another man’s babies out of a woman

@Raqi??

what does that mean in plain english??

Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)

March 23rd, 2010
3:23 pm

Leggs no all sperm doesn’t smell..it’s actually dependet on what the man eats/drinks that determines that…from what I’ve read/heard.

Raqi

March 23rd, 2010
3:24 pm

Leggs, I don’t know. Imma vergen. LOL