Digital dating drama
I caught a few minutes of MTV’s True Life: I Have Digital Drama and I realized that I am truly an analog girl in a digital world. (Shout out to Ms. Badu!) I am connected to a lot of devices, but I don’t have one problem unplugging from time to time. Especially if Mr. Wonderful is within arm’s length. Priorities people!
The show follows people who are so plugged in to their digital worlds that their “analog” relationships are suffering. Even though the people in this show were younger, I have seen similar dynamics with people of different ages. Imagine you have managed to get into an actual relationship with that text message abuser. Things are going great until you realize that the reason they are text message offenders is because their thumbs are surgically attached to their smart phone. What happens when you both have a bad habit of being too plugged in, though?
One of the girls asked her boyfriend to keep his phone unlocked so she can do “spot checks”. Another girl stated that both her and her boyfriend “agreed” to allow access to each others emails. They thought it would actually work until he saw her reading an email from an ex-fling. She didn’t like the racy tone and he didn’t like having to explain his private communications. Talk about reality checks!
Do we need to give up privacy to be in a relationship? If so, exactly how much are you willing to give up? How do you handle dating drama caused by Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs, etc.? What would you do if the person you were getting really serious about asked for “digital” access? I don’t know about this. It sounds exhausting and kind of stupid. What do you think?
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395 comments Add your comment
Phatty Catty...not SlimOne
March 23rd, 2010
2:02 pm
“Y’all ain’t gonna make me feel bad about accessing PUBLIC info.”
Ared
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:06 pm
Police Face
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:08 pm
Speaking of checking folks, yall remember the story I heard on the radio about I told you all about a couple weeks ago where the lady would check the mileage in her man’s car to verify that he went where he said he was going. That’s just too much.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:08 pm
Amred – No sister, I won’t make you feel bad at all. I had a buddy whose sister worked where they issue marriage licenses. I had a suspicion about a guy I had not yet even gone out with. I met him out at a club and talked on the phone quite a bit. Yep, he was married. Saved me the trouble.
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:09 pm
When you get grown and really dont feel the need to lie.. It is absolutely true that you can ask me whatever you wanna know.. BUT… I hope youre ready for the answer..
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:10 pm
when we were on a break
LOL The list of stuff that gets filed under “when we were on a break”….
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:10 pm
Im not crying and dying about no babe.. If I feel I gotta be running behind a babe checking her phone then she aint the chick for me.. No matter how good her Skrawberry Shortcake is..
Melo
March 23rd, 2010
2:11 pm
Another reason why the topic of your “sex number” comes up,
I wonder why some females on the blog get really angry about that subject??
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:12 pm
I hope youre ready for the answer..
DK – Don’t ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to! Even “no answer” is an answer.
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:12 pm
I hope youre ready for the answer
Infamous, I said that earlier. When I asked my husband question when we were dating he answered them. They weren’t all answers that I wanted to hear, but I appreciated it just the same.
Phatty Catty...not SlimOne
March 23rd, 2010
2:12 pm
Seriously, could any of you really be in an all out totally open relationship.
Dude: hey babe how was your day?
chick: boo, it was alright but i’m glad i’m here with you now. I missed you today. How was yours?
Dude: Well, it was cool too but…you remember that waitress chick from dinner last night?
Chick: yeah, what about her?
Dude: well, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how fyne her azz was last night. I mean I sat thru dinner with a stiffy. I mean, I imagined if she had a landing strip, or if it was a phat as yours…
Chick: WTF? are you seriously telling me this?
Dude: babe, i just want to be open with you. Oh yeah, you know those little decorative towels you have in the bathroom that i’m not supposed to use?
Chick: (more visibly mad) YEAH whY?!
Dude: Well before i left this morning I just couldn’t get ole girl out my head and I sort of ‘took matters into my own hands’. I heard you get up when the alarm went off and I didnt want you to see what I did. So in a rush I sort of…wiped my hunch punch on the towel.
(Chick now choking the sh!t outta dude)
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:13 pm
Plus, some stuff just ain’t yo bizness.
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:14 pm
No sister, I won’t make you feel bad at all.
Thank you kimmie. I won’t make you feel bad either. Heck, your employers are googling and searching Facebook for you too.
One of my friends couldn’t figure out why she was never invited to her dude’s house. So she checked his property tax records (again, public info you can access online). And he was listed with his wife.
Had he been honest, she wouldn’t have had to go looking.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:16 pm
Amred – LOL!
Melo – Give the number thing a rest. It’s just silly & immature.
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:16 pm
Plus, some stuff just ain’t yo bizness
kimmie, I am a believer of letting the past stay in the past. But when there is something going on in the right now and it piques my interest imma ask a question or two.
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:16 pm
Yeah allow mw to tell you.. Its better that way and then you get a smile with it..
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:17 pm
Kimmie – Amen Amen and let the church say Amen again..
Melo
March 23rd, 2010
2:19 pm
Give the number thing a rest. It’s just silly & immature
ok, u and I agree on the background thing be4 felings come in but not numbers??
How am i gon tell u all clear unless u give me some assurance??
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:20 pm
Melo – Give the number thing a rest. It’s just silly & immature.
kimmie – In melo’s defense, I brought it up, because it’s an example of how people aren’t as open as they say they are.
But melo of course took it to the other level.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:20 pm
But when there is something going on
Raqita – Well, when something’s going on, you gotta right to ask! Especially when it affects you & you’re invested, like dating seriously or married. Or need to know if someone is already “entangled” so as to avoid being all up in some mess. Oh yes.
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:21 pm
If a persn is lying.. It’ll come out.. I repeat.. It’ll come out without all the Private D!ck work.. Dont use the public records for a common sense substitute..
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:23 pm
In melo’s defense, I brought it up, because it’s an example of how people aren’t as open as they say they are.
Amred – Then why even ask the question is my question!LOL!!
Melo – You just gonna have to trust me!LOL!!1
I love Ared season 2
March 23rd, 2010
2:24 pm
Ared can i get my chain. I dont want to be voted off this seaon.
SexyCool - To be continued...
March 23rd, 2010
2:24 pm
You can ask me whatever you want to, I will tell you want I want you to know. As to what I share with you about my past, some things, I will tell you because they are keys to who I am now. Some things will come up in conversation, because that’s the way you normally get to know a person. Some sht I will take to my grave…well, because I’m mysterious like that….
Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)
March 23rd, 2010
2:24 pm
and let the church say Amen again..
Imma gone head and put a 10 spot in the collection plate…for the building fund…
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:24 pm
Ok so say a dude does a background check on you and has your address and all that.. Isnt that stalking?? See it aint no fun when the rabbit got the gun..
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:24 pm
well, because I’m mysterious like that….
LOL!!!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:26 pm
In my Micheal Jackson Voice The Internet is the Devil people. The Internet is Evil.
SexyCool - To be continued...
March 23rd, 2010
2:26 pm
Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)
March 23rd, 2010
2:27 pm
Dont use the public records for a common sense substitute..
You can’t assume grown folk have common sense…you can’t b/c I know you know some people who are book smart and got the common sense of a brick…hell I think we all know some people like that.
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:27 pm
Amred – Then why even ask the question is my question!LOL!!
kimmie – You’re missing the point. You can find several people who stated their mates can ask them “whatever you want to know” I’m just saying that’s not true cuz bring up the “sex number” question and those backpedals start spinning.
DreamsMaterialize
March 23rd, 2010
2:28 pm
I find it funny that everyone is like “just ask me and I’ll tell you whatever it is you want to know.”
Not me. I’ll always let a woman know that she can ask me whatever she wants. If I think it’s private, inappropriate, or I just don’t want to talk about it, then I’ll say that.
Leggs
March 23rd, 2010
2:28 pm
@Phatty Catty ~ unfortunately, that’s a silent true conversation taking place in some minds!
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:29 pm
You can’t assume grown folk have common sense…you can’t b/c I know you know some people who are book smart and got the common sense of a brick…hell I think we all know some people like that.
Well, common sense will also tell you to go off proof and not hunches.
If it’s public info and you can access it, go for it. If the person is lying it WILL come out…and this is just one method to get there. Again, it’s PUBLIC info.
Melo
March 23rd, 2010
2:29 pm
Melo – You just gonna have to trust me!LOL!!1
Guys?? where is Carlito??
U see how these chics do us??
Im gonna ask about her number and she frowns and then comes and kisses me firmly on my lips and says,”baby,why do u worry about that stuff..its gone be ok baby,trust me OK..my number aint even that high”
and then she goes to her gelrz and says,”Shaneeqwa,do u know what that negro was saying gerl
?” 
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:30 pm
Infamous, but he could do that anyway. Some stuff in these days and time just have come to be expected.
Now someone showing up at someone’s house unvited is a whole different CSI.
Willie Dynamite
March 23rd, 2010
2:30 pm
yep Stalking all day long. But for a chick thats just being careful. right
SexyCool - To be continued...
March 23rd, 2010
2:31 pm
If you google my government name, one of the results is for a chick that wrote a book about porn.
I will leave the obvious jokes to LURKER and the like…LOL!
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:31 pm
You can’t assume grown folk have common sense
Sassy, not just that, some folks want to know what’s up before they get too involved. Especially if suspension is there already.
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:32 pm
DK – I do think a background check is going too far. But naw, I’m not wigged out by google searches or anything.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:32 pm
Amred – I got your point all day. That “just ask me, I’ll tell you” sounds good, but I wonder how many would really follow thru with it. But dudes come on the blog and go into their litany about how women lie, especially about “that” and my question to Melo and the rest is why even ask it.
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm
Furthermore if I told my Patnahs I did a background check on a Babe.. I would never hear the end of it.. Maybe we do need to start pulling back ground checks.. Then bust up on the scene like.. Yeah Baby I pulled a background check on you and your property taxes are late and youre home is about to be foreclosed.
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm
Looking up someone’s address after they have given you their whole name is not the same as following someone home to find out where they live. Or stalking them and showing up to where they go. Or asking their family and friends questions behind their back.
DreamsMaterialize
March 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm
you know some people who are book smart and got the common sense of a brick
Yeah, but I think this is the exception and not the norm. I’d bet that it’s more likely that people who aren’t book smart lack common sense. Seems common sense would have told them to be book smart.
AmazonRed™
March 23rd, 2010
2:35 pm
I got your point all day. That “just ask me, I’ll tell you” sounds good, but I wonder how many would really follow thru with it
kimmie – Not many!
kimmie
March 23rd, 2010
2:35 pm
Dreams – Now your 2:28 is realistic.
Rell unplugged
March 23rd, 2010
2:35 pm
i dont care about the numbers…all ya have wh0r’d for some dude..all women have got the knees dirty..all women have drank the babies of a couple of cats…some women have had lesbo experiences…some women love/tried getting there “rosebud” pushed in…some women have gotten down in group love/three screw..some women have had one night stands..some women have been smutted out in the name of love..ie. some cat use love to knock the lining out the poo cee…so with all that in mind – when she looks at you and smile just know she in the moment with you and not in the past with those other cats…who cares about numbers….but i will say this..if you over your friends house and he is like check out this chick i have on tape..if thats your bench then worry!!!
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA THE GOD OF WAR
March 23rd, 2010
2:36 pm
Ared – Yeah Facebook and google is cool. I think its cool to say “Yeah google me Babe.. I’m a big deal..” Ha ha!!
Raqi
March 23rd, 2010
2:37 pm
LOL Infamous. Why would you even tell your potnahs? If I was dating and I did a background check on someone to find something disturbing I would just end it. Let it die a quick death. I wouldn’t even tell them I did the check.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit :-)
March 23rd, 2010
2:39 pm
some folks want to know what’s up before they get too involved.
I totally agree. We each must do what works best for us(that’s within legal means of course) every situation is different. I mean if you’re consumed by some kind of unfounded paranoia and have the DMV on speed dial or something that’s wrong…if you’re paranoid from a bad past experience then that’s different. At the end of the day we must protect ourselves I just think the way it’s done has alot to do with it…and what we do with said info is also pertinent.