Can we have it all?
Sandra Bullock is in the news but the buzz isn’t just surrounding her Oscar win. Apparently there are rumors swirling that her husband of 5 years, Jesse James, had a fling with a slightly younger woman. The alleged affair may have happened when Bullock was away filming The Blind Side, which is ironic in many ways.
I have no idea if any of it is true and I’m going to take a guess that a lot of you could care less. This celebrity news has made me really wonder about the price that people pay when they try to pursue their dreams, though. Was Bullock wrong to think that she could have the great career, wonderful supportive husband, and solid home life?
When it comes to our careers and relationships, do you think it always comes down to making a choice between the two in order for it to work? Is it possible to give your all to both and find balance?
I don’t think think successful women are the only women that find it hardest to manage relationships. However, I believe that the dynamics within a relationships of successful women and their mates vary greatly to their male counterparts. What do you think?
Men, do you think that you can have it all? Wonderful career, stable finances, and a good woman in your life? Do you think one of these will have to suffer in order for it to work?
Ladies, how do we differ from men when it comes to having it all? Have we wised up and stopped trying to pursue it all or do we secretly want the same thing: career, money, great man and/or children?
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524 comments Add your comment
Luvbug
March 19th, 2010
3:09 pm
Our eyes are often bigger than our stomachs so we think we want more than we really do. And sometimes we don’t recognize this and go about accumulating, achieving more and in the midst something clicks. And we (those who allow it) will find ourselves satisfied unexpectedly.
Exactly, you said it best.
The world will never level around you, but your heart,mind and soul can. Peace of mind.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:10 pm
Oh and DreamsMat, I saw this really REALLY cute cute shoes that I am going to get tomorrow. Too bad you won’t be able to see them.
Just telling you about them is putting me on borderline cheating so I won’t even tell you about that gorgeous SUNDRESS that I going to get to wear with them. LOL
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:10 pm
If Martha Stuart had the opportunity to swap bodily fluids with a rapper, she would lose her mind, up in here, up in here…she’ll act a fool where she’ll have a polka dot dinner plate, a striped sandwich plate and a squiggly lined biscuit saucer all as one place setting. The forks would be bent cuz she didn’t know her own strenth. The chick would be messed up!!
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:10 pm
The thing is, that used to be the issue when rape victim’s come forward.
kimmie This isn’t the same at all. I’m saying hold everyone accountable for committing the same offense. A rape victim usually hasn’t raped anyone else. If the victim had also raped someone, should they not also be prosecuted for their crime?
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:12 pm
DreamsMat, why does the two have to go together. You speak as if the only reason one would cheat on the other is because it was done to them first. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
Somebody wronging you gives me no right to look into your back ground.
Luvbug
March 19th, 2010
3:13 pm
she’ll have a polka dot dinner plate, a striped sandwich plate and a squiggly lined biscuit saucer all as one place setting. The forks would be bent cuz she didn’t know her own strenth.
LOL!!!
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:13 pm
Raqi now you know I don’t even care about the shoes. you could be wearing clown shoes with that sundress. lol
THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG
March 19th, 2010
3:14 pm
See ya’ll its 8:00 gonna get some dinner and soak up a few more sites this evening. If ya’ll ever get the chance come here with your sweetie its very romantic.. Beautiful place to be… Absolutely love it.. Too bad I dont Spreken zie deutsche cause I aint mad at the Frauleins.. And they dont seem to be mad with me..
Cemeeli
March 19th, 2010
3:14 pm
@ mytwo – Smile it’s beautiful…smiles & laughter makes someone else day.
..my co-worker is having a bowl of cereal for her late lunch and wants to use my milk…let’s see how this will turn out…I used almond milk this week…not soy.
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:15 pm
Raqi ~ you got mail.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:15 pm
kimmie, exactly. They talk at us all the time about accountability but the minute of “them” are in the hot seat they want to say “she must have done something wrong too”.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:16 pm
DreamsMat, that’s why I can’t tell you about the dress. I can only talk about the shoes to avoid cheating on my husband. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:17 pm
Somebody wronging you gives me no right to look into your back ground.
Raqi Can PoppaG please weigh in on this point? I never said that the two have to go together. But if someone cheats on me, feel free to look into my ish. What do I have to lose? Either you’ll find that I’ve done the same and it’s a wash, or you’ll find nothing, which doesn’t hurt me at all.
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:20 pm
the minute of “them” are in the hot seat they want to say “she must have done something wrong too”. I already said that, if in the “victim’s” shoes, feel free to put me on the hot seat too.
that’s why I can’t tell you about the dress. I can only talk about the shoes to avoid cheating on my husband.
You can keep that to yourself then. lol
kimmie
March 19th, 2010
3:22 pm
Dreams – I used the rape example as one where often the victim is blamed.
I just think your reasoning is warped and unrealistic. So any time a person cheats, male or female, you go raiding the other persons closet.
Whatever.
Poppa Grande
March 19th, 2010
3:27 pm
Dreams
I am the wrong person to ask about this. I am law school. Lesson #1 in law school (and a common theme through law school) is cya. (cover ya azz). If you got got, then you didn’t cya.
I am actually with you. I believe that there for every action, there is a reaction. So, if I’m a victim then I haven’t covered my azz as I should.
It is like Fifty Cent bragging about taking all of those shots and surviving. From where I sit, that means that he got caught slipplin’.
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:27 pm
Off topic ~ how many of you think Sade’s new CD would send a suicidal person over the edge?
Tazzee - 56 days til Mrs.
March 19th, 2010
3:27 pm
Tazzee you should’ve called them on the truth of that statement. There are animals that mate for life. Some penguins, many birds, certain wolves.
DreamsM – I think that dude made that comment around 10am and I had not seen him on here since, so I didn’t feel the need to try to correct.
It was just funny (to me) that I saw both comments right around the same time, that’s all.
I’m not here to challenge anyone’s truths. I learned long time ago that grown folks are going to believe what they want to believe.
Downtown Heffa
March 19th, 2010
3:28 pm
You can have it all. BUT! It may be different than you had expected. Your career may not include that wonderful salary; however, the job you have, you are content. Additionally, that guy may not be your Denzel (or Idris!) but he’s right for you.
Not trying to start rumors, but hasn’t he been unfaithful before? I guess we should ask, “Is a cheater always a cheater?”
Professor...
March 19th, 2010
3:28 pm
So any time a person cheats, male or female, you go raiding the other persons closet.
Trying to find wrongdoings or “right-doings” on the other party is wrong. Heck the way some of these folks lie and cheat their mates will stay in the fingerprint-mug shot line for no reason…except guilty by association
Melo
March 19th, 2010
3:29 pm
Dang its almost 4 and we aint concluded yet..ok,lets wrap up!
the conclusion for this topic….
Men can have it all……..if we screw up, we can talk and mend things up!
Females,u CANT HAVE IT all…..U AINT allowed to screw up with nobody..if u cheat,better not be caught coz u screw one time..U OUT!
END OF DISCUSSION!
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:29 pm
I just think your reasoning is warped and unrealistic.
It’s obvious the way these situations actually play out that my thinking is unrealistic. I completely agree on that. I don’t think my reasoning is warperd though. Holding people accountable for similar offenses sounds completely reasonable to me. When all the Republicans were chastising and wanting to impeach Clinton for his indiscretions, they claimed that they as Americans were personally violated. I feel it would have been quite fair to expose the people doing the chastising.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:29 pm
kimmie, I just can’t get the logic of what he is saying. One has nothing to do with the other.
So every victim, raped, robed or murdered, does not stand a fair chance until it has been determined they have no past transgressions? Our judicial system is warped but I am glad it not that warped.
I can see every 911 call now.
Victim: Can please send the cops, I’ve been mugged.
911: Hold ma’am let me send out a cop to find out what’s in your closet before we can process your claim.
kimmie
March 19th, 2010
3:30 pm
Leggs – I love Sade & I love the song Soldier of Love, but yeah, it could have been a lot more upbeat.
Professor...
March 19th, 2010
3:30 pm
Leggs~her CD is a bit morbid, but I hope she tours. I felt the same about “King of Sorrow.”
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:32 pm
@Melo ~ believe it or not, the premise of the blog is to stay on topic to closing. We have disrespected this rule probably from day one. Although it’s rare, to still be on topic at 3:30 is somewhat refreshing.
M. (pronouced M dot)
March 19th, 2010
3:32 pm
@ Everyone,
Did you guys see the text messages that Tiger sent and the female saved? Technology is the culprit!
i'm swiss
March 19th, 2010
3:33 pm
“Dang its almost 4 and we aint concluded yet..ok,lets wrap up!”
Melo — I tried to start the Freaky Friday wave — throwing out references to moist va-jay-jays and vibrators — but so far, it hasn’t taken hold. I think it’s up to you, bro. Take this blog to Freakytown…
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:34 pm
@Raqi ~ until it has been determined they have no past transgressions?” Not necessarily! Just trying to prove that past lifestyle didn’t help vacilitate the present crime. Cause and affect, cause and affect!
lurker
March 19th, 2010
3:36 pm
Please no! Not Melo invoke Freaky Friday….it’s just plain ole nasty and gross at that point. I say if ain’t jumped off by now, let’s just let it be Free Fall Friday
Leggs
March 19th, 2010
3:37 pm
I too like Solider of Love, but the rest makes me want to put toothpicks in my eyes just to keep from falling asleep. I love her lyrics, but its too dang ssssss lllllll ooooooo wwwwwww!
Poppa Grande
March 19th, 2010
3:37 pm
Raqi
So every victim, raped, robed or murdered, does not stand a fair chance until it has been determined they have no past transgressions? Our judicial system is warped but I am glad it not that warped.
What do u think that detectives do? They research and decide who else needs to be charged. Sometimes, they find that the victim contributed to the situation.
Have you not heard of contributory negligence? Comparative negligence?
AmazonRed™
March 19th, 2010
3:38 pm
I haven’t cheated.
We were on a break.
Gorgeous Green Eyes
March 19th, 2010
3:38 pm
Winning an OSCAR has nothing to do with cheating! And MEN CHEAT either because they are UNHAPPY at home AND/OR are just plain long SELFISH AND GREEDY and it is a known fact that men can see much better than they can think! Sometimes the person they cheat with is much better looking and sometimes they are not. Men CHEAT because they are needy in some way and need sometime to PAY ATTENTION TO THEM and respect them and admire them and COMPLIMENT THEM. And US single girls get hit on ALL THE TIME. These married men have a MASTER’S Degree when it comes to treating a MISTRESS like a princess. They are slick, romantic and ONLY SEE YOU WHEN THEY WANT TO SEE YOU. The married man does not want a relationship with you because they already have that with the wife (Or so she thinks!) Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. Don’t believe these married guys, they are LYING to their wives and HONEY, they will lie to the mistress! And they say they feel guilty when driving back home to their wives, that is BS! They got what they wanted and that’s why it’s called a BOOTY CALL….They may come back for more and they may not, but MAKE NO MISTAKE they are always on the hunt for some strange. And they will hunt you down like a dog and when they HIT IT THEY QUIT IT.
Only 5% of married men leave their wives for a mistress and you know what sooner or later, they will cheat on her….Oh, and there is no age limit, or walk of life OR profession ( i.e. COPS) these cheaters are all the same. They think with the “brain” that is broke in their pants. And if you mess with a married man, expect to be dumped sooner or later, because that is the nature of the CHEATER. And why is it OKAY for a married man to cheat and confess and say he had poor judgement and then go to SEX REHAB????? Come on! And if ANY woman out there thinks that her married man will be her one and only, she is sadly mistaken. It is ALWAYS better to lose a LOVER than to LOVE a loser and that is just what a cheater is. He has to prove himself because he is insecure. I speak from experience and you can have it all…just don’t married if you are going to screw around. Some guys are SO STUPID they will jeopardize their marriage, their children and their job just to go after someone they are lusting after. And then they can only see you when THEY want to. Who in their right mind would want to be number 2 ????? DUH
AmazonRed™
March 19th, 2010
3:39 pm
Okay…so it’s not warm outside. It’s HOT outside. I had to turn on the a/c!
Tazzee - 56 days til Mrs.
March 19th, 2010
3:40 pm
Leggs –
I’ve always thought Sade’s music was a little too mellow.
Poppa Grande
March 19th, 2010
3:41 pm
It is gorgeous out here. I am on my front porch studying and blogging.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:43 pm
Okay Poppa if you say so. But answer this truthfully if you would. If your wife cheated on you would you look over it because you cheated on someone 10, 15, 20 years ago. Or heck even cheated on her and she said she forgave you. Would you say, oh okay?
DreamsMaterialize
March 19th, 2010
3:43 pm
So every victim, raped, robed or murdered, does not stand a fair chance until it has been determined they have no past transgressions?
How could you possibly interpret that from what I’ve written? I didn’t say that your past transgressions determine your innocence/guilt. However, if you are robbed, it is not out of the ordinary for law enforcement to dig into your case (raid your closet) to determine the specifics related to your robbery. It’s possible that all they come up with is that you were an innocent victim of robbery, but it’s also possible that they find out that you were part of a robbery ring and were robbed by one of the people who you used to rob with. Although you are a victim of a crime, should you not also be brought to justice for the crimes you committed but have neglected to reveal?
i'm swiss
March 19th, 2010
3:43 pm
“Okay…so it’s not warm outside. It’s HOT outside.”
Ahhhhh… looks like I’m driving the Jeep home topless.
lurker
March 19th, 2010
3:44 pm
it is a known fact that men can see much better than they can think!
It is ALWAYS better to lose a LOVER than to LOVE a loser
We should have these as captions for certain days/topics
AmazonRed™
March 19th, 2010
3:45 pm
kimmie – Tell your coworker that Elin Woods rejected Tiger a few times before she even agreed to go out with him. Then tell her that they married in 2004, and their first child came along in 2007. So she didn’t get pregnant right away.
People kill me.
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:46 pm
It’s HOT outside
Amazon, when I was in Miami it was hot like this. Then when we came home Tuesday it was cold here. I just know the baby is going to have a cold before the weekend is up. I put her on short sleeves down there but carried a sweater. But brought her back in long sleeves because I saw that the weather was a lot cooler. I hope it stays just like this for the next several weeks.
SlimOne on autopilot
March 19th, 2010
3:46 pm
(slim now walking in with her bra tied around her head)
Who said something about getting topless?
Poppa Grande
March 19th, 2010
3:48 pm
Raqi
I would look to see what need that I did not meet. If it was something that I could have or should have foreseen then I would be at fault for not “obeying the marriage” as you put it.
If it was something else that I couldn’t foresee, then I got got.
As far as cheating in the past coming back on you, I believe Karma is a bytch and she knows our addresses. It will come back on you, one way or another.
i'm swiss
March 19th, 2010
3:48 pm
“(slim now walking in with her bra tied around her head)
Who said something about getting topless?”
Awwwwwwww yeah, Slim. Slide right into the passenger seat, here. Oh wait… did I just cheat?
kimmie
March 19th, 2010
3:48 pm
Professor – I hope she tours too. I like her other hits. I saw her in concert before and it was wonderful. Hey, read my 2:48 if you haven’t already. Is that not a trip?
Melo
March 19th, 2010
3:49 pm
Gorgeous Green Eyes??
U just a crawzy and horny green eyed Blonde!
u want a man for urself yet u know,there arent enough men to go around uall females!
DUH!
Raqi...Two Hours Late
March 19th, 2010
3:50 pm
However, if you are robbed, it is not out of the ordinary for law enforcement to dig into your case (raid your closet) to determine the specifics related to your robbery.
Okay I get it DreamsMat. If another man robs your puddy (meaning your wife/women) it is not out of the ordinary to dig into YOUR case (raid your closet) to determine the specifics related to your robbery.
If you robbed then you should get robbed. I got it.
kimmie
March 19th, 2010
3:53 pm
Amred – It’s no reasoning with her, she comes up with crazy stuff all the time. But even if Elin had a honeymoon baby, she’s his WIFE! She signed a prenup anyway, she came from money and let’s face it, she was a nanny, not a career woman. After a point, what else was she going to do, run for office?