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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Can we have it all?

Sandra Bullock is in the news but the buzz isn’t just surrounding her Oscar win.  Apparently there are rumors swirling that her husband of 5 years, Jesse James, had a fling with a slightly younger woman.  The alleged affair may have happened when Bullock was away filming The Blind Side, which is ironic in many ways.

I have no idea if any of it is true and I’m going to take a guess that a lot of you could care less.   This celebrity news has made me really wonder about the price that people pay when they try to pursue their dreams, though.  Was Bullock wrong to think that she could have the great career, wonderful supportive husband, and solid home life?

When it comes to our careers and relationships, do you think it always comes down to making a choice between the two in order for it to work?  Is it possible to  give your all to both and find balance?

I don’t think think successful women are the only women that find it hardest to manage relationships.  However, I believe that the dynamics within a relationships of successful women and their mates vary greatly to their male counterparts.  What do you think?

Men, do you think that you can have it all? Wonderful career, stable finances, and a good woman in your life?  Do you think one of these will have to suffer in order for it to work?

Ladies, how do we differ from men when it comes to having it all? Have we wised up and stopped trying to pursue it all or do we secretly want the same thing: career, money, great man and/or children?

524 comments Add your comment

Luvbug

March 19th, 2010
1:55 pm

Every chick on the blog has cheated on her dude during her dating cycles

I’ve never cheated.

Tazzee - 56 days til Mrs.

March 19th, 2010
1:55 pm

This is because other animals have evolved to adapt to the virus. Cats have evolved to live with FIV

And humans have ’supposedly’ evolved to the point of controlling our natural desires.

It’s funny – if you call a man an animal any other time, it’s an insult – but when it comes to fidelity – men have no problem being compared to dogs…

DreamsMaterialize

March 19th, 2010
1:55 pm

look how many time and how many women!
Let’s please shine the light on the “victims”. I’m almost certain we’d find similar dirt. I’m not saying it’s right for either, but if we’re going to crucify, let’s do it across the board.

Dig That

March 19th, 2010
1:55 pm

My bad Luvbug. I get it now. Thats what I get for not paying attention. You dayum sho right tho

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
1:56 pm

Raqi – Youve cheated before.. Think about it..

Dig That

March 19th, 2010
1:57 pm

It’s funny – if you call a man an animal any other time, it’s an insult – but when it comes to fidelity – men have no problem being compared to dogs…

@Tazzee
Actually it depends on the context and it is a totally different meaning when you call me that than if I call Melo my dog.

Tazzee - 56 days til Mrs.

March 19th, 2010
1:58 pm

I haven’t cheated since I was 13. One time I went out with a guy as I was pondering a guy’s suggestion that we be exclusive – but that’s as close as it gets.

But I guess I’ve evolved… I’ll leave the cheating to the animals.

Melo

March 19th, 2010
1:58 pm

We also the only ones dying from AIDS

@BlackMagic!

Yeah,coz somebody (horny human dude) had the nerve/audacity to phluck a chimpanzee! :lol: Try again sweetheart! :lol:

only explanation there.. :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
1:58 pm

Leggs – My point isnt that Men dont cheat but that women do too. But.. They dont take responsibility for their actions when they do.. Or Lie that they dont cheat at all..

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
1:59 pm

Infamous, No I haven’t. I have never been in a relationship with a man and step out on him with another.

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
1:59 pm

One of my flirtin’ ass co-worker just told me to make sure to tell TheDude that “he shole is lucky to have YOU!”

Whoever really passes THAT message along?

…unh, hunh-yeah im’a tell my old man that…”I’m fortunate that my old man will have me as well”, is usually my response….then the floodgate of “DAMN!!!” in reply.

Afternoon ya’ll…

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
2:01 pm

The reason most of you havent cheated is because you have made up in your mind what you did wasnt cheating.. You honestly believe you didnt cheat but look up the definition

Leggs

March 19th, 2010
2:02 pm

@DigThat ~ he doesn’t really not only surmising from what he sees while at work. Her character comes across when she’s dealing with other co-workers/customers. Her intelligence shows itself when communicating on varying topics/situations, and pretty sure her calm, cool and collected demeanor is self-evident as she strolls the hallways!

SexyCool...(In need of a weekend)

March 19th, 2010
2:02 pm

Cheating – I will neither confirm nor deny. LOL!

Mo (aka Moeisha - feelin great)

March 19th, 2010
2:03 pm

Afternoon All! Its so nice outside….and the pollen has kicked in yet…THANK YOU!!! :smile:

TGIF!!

So whats up err’body

Leggs

March 19th, 2010
2:03 pm

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!

I have never cheated!

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:03 pm

Infamous, what is your definition of cheating?

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:04 pm

Dreams Happy Friday buddy…good catch on first page…i noticed sometimes we get transposed…umm…critiCize… :wink:

@56 Days – 13 years old doesn’t count.

Leggs

March 19th, 2010
2:04 pm

Sure, sure, there’s many levels of cheating, emotional, mental, whathaveyou. In this context we are talking about sexual penetration and YOU KNOW IT!

DreamsMaterialize

March 19th, 2010
2:05 pm

you should have known someone would find a way to say animals are just as bad off as we are.
Not trying to say animals are better or worse off. It just isn’t true that only humans are affected by IV. Why is it wrong to say that?

And humans have ’supposedly’ evolved to the point of controlling our natural desires.
I agree completely, but how is this related to the truth of the HIV statement?

if you call a man an animal any other time, it’s an insult
It’s only an insult when it isn’t true. In some ways humans and animals are remarkably similar; in other ways not so much. If you compare me when it’s true, then fine, but if you say I lick myself as a way of bathing, then would be insulting because the comparison isn’t true. lol

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:05 pm

Hey Mo – It.Is.BEAUTIFUL.outside…

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:06 pm

Infamous, I know that women cheat. Heck I am not above it. I’m not perfect. But as to this date, I have never cheated.

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
2:08 pm

Leggs – Did you know emotional cheating is the worst for a man? We can deal with you just lost your mind and banged the bartender on a cruise(not really) but to know that you have given your heart away is the worst.. You might as well have boinked at that point..

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:08 pm

Cat AIDS???….what’s the current topic ya’ll?

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:09 pm

Leggs, exactly. Some could so far as to say that just looking at a person of the opposite sex is cheating.

I do believe cheating can start on a mental and emotional level, but today as you stated we are talking about the physical acts.

No hand holding, no kissing, no sexual acts of any kind. No cheating.

Kym

March 19th, 2010
2:10 pm

Okay are we still on cheating?? Wait I saw Final Four stuff.. I know some folks brackets are jacked!! Go Ohio!! LOLOL

Leggs

March 19th, 2010
2:10 pm

@InfamousD ~ yes, it’s just as bad for a woman. A good friend of mine is now getting divorce purely on speculation and emotional stress.

Melo

March 19th, 2010
2:12 pm

In this context we are talking about sexual penetration and YOU KNOW IT!

@Leggs??

so today, cheating on sex for u is defined penetration ut whn we discuss sexx any other day,we gotta get ur mental attarction and state first be4 we lay it.

But when u think about that ugghh ugghhh guy u see in the mall but leave it at that,it aint cheating??

GTFOH!! do u even confess to ur guys when u get home about what u saw??

we all the same.

Men might be regarded as having better finishing and winning %ge! :lol:

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:12 pm

but to know that you have given your heart away is the worst

Infamous, it may as well be because when the heart has gone, we are gone. Just haven’t moved on physically yet.

Melo

March 19th, 2010
2:13 pm

ut whn we discuss sexx any other day,we gotta get ur mental attarction and state first be4 we lay it.

ouch! :oops:

but when we discuss sexx any other day, we gotta get ur mental attraction and state of mind first be4 we lay the pipe?

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
2:15 pm

Hey Im not knocking anyone but I just want the conversation to be honest…

Raqi – Cheating.. There are soooo many different forms than just physical

Tazzee - 56 days til Mrs.

March 19th, 2010
2:15 pm

DreamsM – never said the statement was true, just thought it was funny that I saw that right after that one comment about humans being the only mammals that try to mate with one person for life – or whatever it may be.

I’ve seen the FIV commercials.

DreamsMaterialize

March 19th, 2010
2:17 pm

Even if we just narrow cheating down to the physical act, the percentage of women who have cheated is about the same as for men. This has been long documented.

THE INFAMOUS DK LIVE FROM HEIDELBERG

March 19th, 2010
2:17 pm

Raqi – But when you havent moved on physically guess what to us its cheating.. See ya’ll dont count the dude ya’ll moved on to a month later as cheating.. Dude was there all the time and you get the picture..

Dig That

March 19th, 2010
2:18 pm

Truly there is a double standard I agree. If a man went out had 3 women and doing them all behind his girl’s back and gets caught then he may be remorseful and begs her to salvage the relationship and she just may because if it was just physical, but if he even thought his woman was holding hands with a dude and no penetration. He is going to loose his mind and it would probably be a wrap.

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:18 pm

Infamous not tryna get on the “naw mofo i ain’t never cheated” bandwagon…cause i know some ‘goodie two shoes’ that’ll cheat at said oppurtunity!!!….but I havn’t because once i’m in, i’m all in…when a man gets, me he has all of me…and ultimately i don’t want the bs that comes along with cheating. I treasure fidelity.

btw – where in the world is Heidelberg?

Leggs

March 19th, 2010
2:18 pm

@Mel0 ~ I didn’t define cheating by today’s topic, Jesse James did! His affair dictated the level of cheating we are specifically talking about today, and it’s not lusting after another, nor eyeing a backside too long as it walks by you. He had an 11 month (sp) affair and did more than hold hands and look into her adoring eyes.

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:18 pm

So, Melo, married and committed folks are supposed walking blind folded for fear of “cheating” by way of seeing.

Dang. God said “if you look to lust” you have sinned. but yall trying to pin us into a corner of not even being able to notice a nice looking guy without being labeled a cheater.

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:19 pm

meant to just bold one word! darn.

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:21 pm

Infamous, I am agreeing with you about the heart being given away. We are good as gone when the heart is gone.

And I have never said that I have never thought about cheating. I said that earlier. In my prior relationship I thought about it. I had to talk myself out of it.

DreamsMaterialize

March 19th, 2010
2:22 pm

I saw that right after that one comment about humans being the only mammals that try to mate with one person for life
Tazzee you should’ve called them on the truth of that statement. There are animals that mate for life. Some penguins, many birds, certain wolves.

Melo

March 19th, 2010
2:23 pm

married and committed folks are supposed walking blind folded for fear of “cheating” by way of seeing.

God said “if you look to lust” you have sinned.

@Raqi

u answered ur own qstion!

Thing is when u see and sin,do u confess to ur husband??

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:24 pm

This has been long documented.

DreamsMat, True. However I haven’t read here yet where any of us women have said that women do not cheat. And yes as many times as man.

Yall are trying to convince us that women cheat too, but that we already know.

Dig That

March 19th, 2010
2:26 pm

Thing is when u see and sin,do u confess to ur husband??

@Melo
Of course they don’t

BlackMagicWoman

March 19th, 2010
2:27 pm

Dreams…those h0es that cheated with him are equally guilty. But the the reason why he is mostly to blame is because he CHOSE to take vows and bring kids into this world. He owes his wife that respect. Not the trallops! They don’t respect themselves so how and why would they respect anybody else?

MELO if you really believe that is AIDS became to be be maybe you should do more reserach and not believe what the masses say!

I think it’s funny how this woman in NC sued this chick for $9M and won because this lady was creeping with her husband. This should happen more….maybe it will curtail the trife tramps who messes with other women’s husbands and vice versa! That should be on top of the divorce settlement the wronged party should receive. That would make a lot of floks think before they cheat! Get ‘em in the pockets!

Cemeeli

March 19th, 2010
2:27 pm

I’m sure Trojan or that “Natural Male Enhancement” company would love to have Horny Tiger hocking their products

Swiss You just be coming off the riff, hunh?…whiteboy is crazy :lol:

Kathy

March 19th, 2010
2:28 pm

I HAVE CHEATED

Raqi...Two Hours Late

March 19th, 2010
2:28 pm

Melo, looking is not lusting. God didn’t say that. He said when you look TO lust then you sin.

People try to hold each other to laws that God himself doesn’t. The Almighty knows that we aren’t blind. And he never said noticing an attractive person was the act of lusting. Lusting is when you have inappropriate thoughts about that person.

Some of us are capable of noticing an attractive person and not start slobbering at the mouth.

Luvbug

March 19th, 2010
2:29 pm

You go Kathy!!

Come-on Let's Get Real

March 19th, 2010
2:30 pm

Yes, you can have it all. Let’s stop kidding ourselves…….it comes down to “trust”………..where is everyone’s “control”? If you truly love someone, temptation shouldn’t be a factor. You should be able to ignore the temptation.

There are TOO many women, especially in Hollywood that are willing to do ANYTHING to be recognized or sleep with a star. They have no morals and are down right sluts. There are the men version, as well, out there. Like Johnny Depps wife, who is afraid of him now doing a movie with Angelina Jolie………where is the love and trust that Johnny has had for his wife and family all of these years? Maybe nothing will happen but the fact that the wife has to “worry” is down right ridiculous. If you have to worry like that………..then its not worth worrying about. Its not real.

People……..get a life. Have morals, get control, have constraint…………otherwise, be single!!!! Then, it really doesn’t matter to anyone else except yourself……..and your partner. Its SO sad that SO many people are just SO weak…………..pitiful.