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Do dating leagues exist?

I saw the trailer for the film, She’s Out of My League, yesterday and I wondered if “dating league” was making a come back in our dating lexicon.  I hadn’t used the term in ages because I think a lot of single people have become slightly narcissistic enough to think we can date pretty much anyone we want!
Do you think we have huge egos and believe there is no such thing as “in the same league” in terms of who is within our reach?
Have you ever been apprehensive about seeing someone because you thought they were out of your league or vice versa?
If we actually buy in to the theory of dating leagues, what kind of things would  put someone out of your league, so to speak?
How would one really determine the type of person we “deserve” to date?

369 comments Add your comment

Give me my Dayum Hour back (not SlimOne)

March 15th, 2010
10:56 am

Ared “Oh and 80% of the women who have it, don’t know they have it.”

Um…call me crazy, or maybe I just haven’t woken up yet, but if the chicks don’t know they have it…how in the hayo do the folks who did this survey know they have it? LOL!

AmazonRed™

March 15th, 2010
10:57 am

Slim, who knows? :lol:

I think they take a sample, and then apply it to the general population. Kinda like Neilson ratings. :lol:

i'm swiss

March 15th, 2010
10:59 am

Morning all.

All I can say is that luckily for us guys, most women are interested in more than looks. So, as long as you do the best you can with what you’ve got and — most importantly — are comfortable and confident in who you are then you’ve got a chance. I’m a perfect case-in-point. Based on looks alone, Mrs. Swiss is way out of my league. Luckily for me, I’m completely comfortable being a dorky whiteboy, so that didn’t stop me from approaching. :lol: Confidence can go a looooooong way.

AmazonRed™

March 15th, 2010
11:03 am

swiss – :lol:

Did you ever tell us how you and Swiss Mrs. met?

LL411

March 15th, 2010
11:03 am

Have you ever been apprehensive about seeing someone because you thought they were out of your league or vice versa? NEVER :)

I have a girlfriend who worries over this non-sense…

LeeH1

March 15th, 2010
11:04 am

This is part of the reason why so many women aren’t married- it is easier for a man to marry someone below their league than it is for a woman to do so. Thus, many black professional women won’t date a man who is still blue collar- the men are not there who are in the same league, and thus they cry about the lack of suitable men.

But the men are there. The women would just prefer to stay single than marry a man who does manual labor.

NOKD- “Not Our Kind, Darling”

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:07 am

Confidence can go a looooooong way.

Swiss – You said a mouthful! That’s the thing I have that I am most thankful for. I consider myself very blessed. My parents provided me with the best they had to offer – a stable upbringing, good genes, and a great education and a belief in myself that I can achieve anything I set out to do. They taught me to get anything in life you have to prepare and plan and do the work. I have all the tools to face the world with confidence! It has taken me far and given me many options.

DreamsMaterialize

March 15th, 2010
11:08 am

how in the hayo do the folks who did this survey know they have it?
This can be estimated in different ways. Consider the percentage of women who are diagnosed with herpes when they go to the doctor. Then consider the percentage of women who do not regularly see a doctor. If you make the assumption (maybe a good or bad one) that women who don’t see a doctor are exposed to similar sexual risks as those who see a doctor regularly, then you can make a case that those who don’t see a doctor would be diagnosed with herpes at the same rate (same percentage) as those who do see a doctor. This would be one way to estimate it.

AmazonRed™

March 15th, 2010
11:10 am

Slim – What Dreams said. :lol:

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:11 am

LeeH1 – I totally disagree. Every blue-collar guy I know has absolutely no trouble attracting women. I’m not talking other “blue collar” women either, very many are married to or date professional women. Most women would just be happy with someone that is gainfully employed and many blue collar professions pay more that white collar. So that whole notion is a myth & over-simplification.

AmazonRed™

March 15th, 2010
11:15 am

I’m not talking other “blue collar” women either, very many are married to or date professional women

kimmie – This has been my experience too.

One of my friends is an environmental engineer. She married a UPS driver.

He’s fine tho and treats her like a Queen. :D

lurker

March 15th, 2010
11:15 am

Without all the fancy words, it’s just dang ignorance to believe or buy into someone being better….better anything or better everything. However, it exists. There are those folks who aren’t willing to make an effort toward relating because of money or the lack thereof, looks or the lack thereof, status or the lack thereof. And even though it may be something you don’t prescribe to because I certainly don’t, I think you’re walking with blinders to say folks don’t buy into that mentality. I think it’s even sadder if you allow such buffoonery.

kinderbabe

March 15th, 2010
11:15 am

@Dan…LOL. i’m not sure that will help.:)

lurker

March 15th, 2010
11:17 am

I always heard growing up to date an ugly or less than desirable man as they’re treat you royally.

Melo

March 15th, 2010
11:17 am

ooogh,we onto herpes now,this early in the morn,coz Ared is baaaack and this is her fav topic?? :lol: :lol:

it is easier for a man to marry someone below their league than it is for a woman to do so

I agree with u altho a lot of them females are fronting,talking like they dont know what “league” is!

wait until u approach them,first thing they do when they hear ur accent is frown :lol: or look down at ur shoes and if u aint rocking their fav or to their expectaions,they dont even acknowledge u! :lol:

And same pple are saying now they dont do leagues :???:

Sometimes Women are just so hard to understand! :lol:

KP (http://www.chatkafeonline.com)

March 15th, 2010
11:19 am

Hmmmm…doesn’t this ‘league’ label carry a sense of arrogance along with it? Does this mean relationships will have challenges just because a guy is a teacher/truck driver/factory worker and a woman is ‘professional’? That seems kind of shady!

Give me my Dayum Hour back (not SlimOne)

March 15th, 2010
11:21 am

Slim now looking at Dreams like a dog who is trying to figure out what you mean by roll over. Head tilted sideways going huh? LOL!

@Dreams Um..okay…thanks for breaking that down.

Tazzee - 60 days til Mrs.

March 15th, 2010
11:23 am

Morning folks!!!

DreamsMaterialize

March 15th, 2010
11:24 am

Socioeconomic, educational circles would exist even if none of us endorsed them. If you grow up in a certain neighborhood, go to certain churches, attend certain schools, are active in certain organizations, indulge in certain extracurricular activities, then you will tend to seek out similar people because you can more easily relate to them. You may not have any intention of excluding anyone, but people who aren’t seeking you out will tend to exclude themselves, just as you probably exclude yourself from other circles because you aren’t seeking them out.

SexyCool - About Bidness

March 15th, 2010
11:24 am

Hey Tazzie Mae! How was the run?

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:26 am

Melo – It’s not politically correct to say someone is out of your league. That would be like looking down your nose at someone and most of us are regular good people out here just trying to make it. I’m educated and a professional, but I’m not banking anywhere near what some of my classmates are. There’s a trade-off for success a lot of times. I’m in no position to look down my nose at anyone and I’m not that kind of person. I’ve always been attracted to intelligence so that usually comes with education. I’ve just never run into a high school dropout that could peak my interest intellecually. He wouldn’t typically travel in my circles. Even blue-collar men I know are skilled and can carry a decent conversation about current events. Just the way it is. Not really hard to understand.

Mo (aka Moeisha )

March 15th, 2010
11:27 am

Just popping in for a sec everyone! Hope ya’ll are having a great one!

SlimOne – i like the longer days but this year losing that hour has dayum near killed me! GEESH!

I’ll talk with you guys later, got a busy day ahead…SIGH!

i'm swiss

March 15th, 2010
11:27 am

ARed — That depends on who you ask. She would tell you that we met “through friends.” But the truth is that we met online. I’m still waiting for an offer to be in one of those commercials… :lol:

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:28 am

Dreams – Well said, I like your 11:24.

BlackMagicWoman

March 15th, 2010
11:31 am

Lurker…you marry that ulgy man…you are seeting up your kids for the downfall. :lol: Both of my late grandpas told us not to marry an ugly man because they do not want any ugly grandkids! Although I do not want kids…I look at a man’s features before we get involved. If we were to marry and an accident occured and I get pregnant…I need to know my kid will be attractive. Let’s face it…being attractive in this world get’s you a lot farther.

My reason for not dating a guy with a record is because he is most likely not going to have a good job. I mean you get discrimated against for your credit…but if you are an excon….you are almost screwed with NO grease!

KP (http://www.chatkafeonline.com)

March 15th, 2010
11:31 am

Sup Melo and the rest of the MIA crew!

AmazonRed™

March 15th, 2010
11:33 am

But the truth is that we met online. I’m still waiting for an offer to be in one of those commercials…

Swiss – Nice!

And those commericals are funny. They always feature “typical” couples, same race, the man taller than the other, same general age.

That’s not the only kind of hookups going on on those sites! :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
11:33 am

I think the leagues exist:

There is a guy that I was interested in. I’m out of his league because he is looking for a jump off and I’m not the one.

Melo

March 15th, 2010
11:33 am

Melo – It’s not politically correct to say someone is out of your league

@Kimmie!

thank u for saying that. I wonder why foljks are so scared ,timid :???: to say or acknowldge what seems like common practice in every day lyfe.

This league thang,call it by whatever name,is practiced every second,hour,day by most people!

DreamsMaterialize

March 15th, 2010
11:33 am

Head tilted sideways going huh?
Slim Sorry… :-( lol

Melo

March 15th, 2010
11:35 am

almost screwed with NO grease!

ouch! :lol:

thats gotta hurt!

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
11:35 am

Question:

the infamous ex texted me Sat. night asking to meet up on Sun (I’m assuming he wants his key back)
I told him i was busy (this is true)
but now, I’m kinda ticked he texted. I had forgotten about him up till now, I honestly don’t want to hear from him

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 15th, 2010
11:38 am

When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a gal. She joined a sorority and I did not join a fraternity. When she broke it off, her words were, “I really like you, but my sorority sisters would look down on me for not dating a fraternity boy”. First really big encounter with “leagues”. (I did suggest a physically impossible place she could stick her “Greeks”).

Kym-DIYer in Training

March 15th, 2010
11:41 am

Well said kimmie!!!

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
11:46 am

@ Randy, I bet she’s still single wondering why she let you get away.

Leggs

March 15th, 2010
11:47 am

“There is a guy that I was interested in. I’m out of his league because he is looking for a jump off and I’m not the one.”

Well said, i am!

And, if you don’t want to hear from him remove his number or as has been stated here, put a DNA next to his number (doubt it will help, but it might).

Give me my Dayum Hour back (not SlimOne)

March 15th, 2010
11:50 am

Well since Randy brought it up, for the Greeks on the blog, is that a big deal to date a non-greek?

Jeff

March 15th, 2010
11:50 am

I think I’ve finally found a way to verbalize what I see in single people today (and some married folk):

We have different personalities depending on the situation:
Professional during the week.
Diva/Playa on Friday/Sat night.
To the 9’s at church on Sunday.
In my jersey Sun afternoon for the game.
And whatever in between.

Is it no wonder people don’t take us seriously for a long term deal because they see us changing our stripes multiple times a week? Why would you be committed to me for life when you can’t even commit your style for one week? Just a thought.

Kym-DIYer in Training

March 15th, 2010
11:51 am

And I will mention the this all of those looking down your noses at anyone…the current economic situation has proven we all at any time can be one paycheck from homeless. I hear everyday of people working great jobs..only to be let go, run out of unemployment(it is not forever) and then burn thru savings..just trying to survive. I have watched many a tail fall off of folks shoulders.

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
11:53 am

Leggs! Sup lady!
I deleted dudes number last month and never added it back.
I was in the middle of texting someone else (guy) when he texted.
he was the last person in the world I expected to hear from.
I don’t even know why I responded

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
11:54 am

oh Leggs, I deleted his message the same day I received it

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:54 am

Kym – Okay!! A lot of folks are having a tough time. Never know, the one you’re looking down on now you might need to ask for help from down the line.

lurker

March 15th, 2010
11:56 am

And I will mention the this all of those looking down your noses at anyone…the current economic situation has proven we all at any time can be one paycheck from homeless. I hear everyday of people working great jobs..only to be let go, run out of unemployment(it is not forever) and then burn thru savings..just trying to survive. I have watched many a tail fall off of folks shoulders.

HERE HERE!

kimmie

March 15th, 2010
11:57 am

Jeff, what you wrote makes absolutely no sense. What you’re describing is common sense. What I wear to the club Friday night is not appropriate for work or church. Now if I looked like I going to the nightclub every day of the week, for every occasion, then I’d have a problem.

How about committing to the appropriate style for the appropriate occasion? Is that a turn-off?

Melo

March 15th, 2010
12:00 pm

the current economic situation has proven we all at any time can be one paycheck from homeless.

@kYM!!

And thats why im a lil happy with todays’ headline about rising foreclosures in Atlanta as per ajc. Im looking forward to making a great real estate deal/buy in the prime cbd area,where ordinarily,the real estate gougers would have run me out! :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
12:02 pm

random thoughts:
What am I supposed to pick up at the store again?
My hair looks like it is getting healthy, I love the new products I have been using.

Jeff

March 15th, 2010
12:03 pm

I think it’s when the person doing it is so obviously “colon swollen” that it becomes ridiculous. I get what you’re sayin. Somehow, I don’t think you’re the type I’m speakin to.

But I can’t expect a woman to take me seriously as a lifetime mate when I’m walking around drenched in my thug-ness and then try to show up for church Sunday morning acting like I got the faith. Same goes the other way.

SexyCool - About Bidness

March 15th, 2010
12:03 pm

Jeff – all that you described just sounds like a well-rounded, multi-faceted individual.

No one wants to be around someone who is the same way all the time. So what are you saying? That you would expect someone to wear a suit and tie to a Falcons game just because they are an attorney?

I am whatever you say I am

March 15th, 2010
12:05 pm

random thought: I am really digging my hair!

Leggs

March 15th, 2010
12:07 pm

What you plan on doing in the CBD, Melo??

@i am ~ you answered cuz you wanted to. Bottom line. You wanted to see if by hearing his voice some type of giddiness, nervousness, disgust or plain indifference would take over. Hope you got your answer.