Tale of two cities
You want to know what happens when two single women stop being polite and start getting real about men? Well, if the two women are dating bloggers “Single Gal in NYC” and yours truly, only great things! I managed to catch up with the fabulous and brave Melissa aka Single Gal in the City. We met up for a quick bite at the beautiful Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta.
The Brave Dater
We both swapped stories of our dating misadventures – some side-splitting recounts of good guys gone wrong, and bad choices we have both made. I couldn’t wait to ask her “what are you thinking!?” Only I was much more polite, and I asked her what made her decide to go on a dating blitz in different cities.
She was very open and candid about reaching the point where she was growing weary of her dating experiences in New York. Basically, it was either do something that would move her closer to finding the one, or risk turning into a bitter New York dater.
I also asked what she has learned about herself in this experience so far. She said that she discovered how happy she actually is and now she is ready for the next chapter. She couldn’t have reached this point without this experience and I say good for her!
Now as for the Atlanta dating scene, I think she got a good sense of what its like already. She has spoken to some great people who told her what it’s like for them. She had a lunch date so far with a nice divorced man and she had a date last night.
Atlanta, much like New York has many transplants. You have a mixed bag of people with different perspectives about dating. In both cities, the men know the odds are in their favor as far as numbers go! When I was in New York, I had a great time meeting men.
For some reason, New York men really dig southern chicks. Of course, I played it up even more when I realized this! I met a really cute and smart young guy at a party Friday night. He kept me laughing! Mr. Hershey Goodbar has my email and we will probably be good friends. Saturday night I met Harlem Hottie. He was just my type, brainy, stylish and a little snarky – in a good way. We stayed up till the early morning talking and he has already been in touch. New York men get an A in my book!
Have you ever considered doing something drastic to mix things up in your love life? Do you think leaving your area code would be worth the effort? When was the last time you dating out of the city, or out of your neighborhood?
What do you have planned for this weekend?
P.S. I promised Melissa I would rally everyone to go to her blog and weigh in on the best city to end her dating blitz tour. Please go vote!
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570 comments Add your comment
lurker
March 12th, 2010
11:46 am
Iam sure Midtown dudettes wld have no problem with that!
Speaking of Midtown/downtown dudettes, when parking this morning, I saw 2 burley, huge, robust dudes about 6′2 or so, dang walking together and HOLDING HANDS. One looked all manly and the other, just a dang shame, all big and musclely being the feminine one…I guess.
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
11:47 am
@Dig
if i knew you will be dating me saturday, Ared tues, Lady thurs . . . i would NOT date you.
Carlito
March 12th, 2010
11:47 am
Aren’t you supposed to go out with different people until you meet one that you want a second date with?
THE INFAMOUS DK AKA RUDE BOI
March 12th, 2010
11:48 am
And My son has to take out the trash and turn on the lights to go to Toys R us and he’s only 4..
SexyCool - About Bidness
March 12th, 2010
11:49 am
DigThat – check my 1030a post.
And just know that tomorrow night, I may be hanging out with DK and the night after that Carlito. UNLESS, I’m with my girls down at Cafe Circa letting that fine ass Amir grind up fruit for those peach mojitoes.
lurker
March 12th, 2010
11:49 am
But lets just say we did go on a date and had a very good time, but tomorrow I wanna see what Mo was hitting for and then the next night check out LadyJ. How would that sit with you?
Dig That – because we aren’t exclusive and nothing establish, I would assume such but really if I’m digging you, wouldn’t want to know. If I found out, I wouldn’t say anything or bring it up but it probably wouldn’t sit well with me. How will you know or get to know me if you’re changing flavors?
kimmie
March 12th, 2010
11:49 am
If I take Natalie out tonight and Susan tomorrow night then I’m no good.
Dig – Personally, I see nothing wrong with that either, as long as everything is on the up & up. You would only be “no good” to me if you led Natalie or Susan to believe that you were exclusive. Or if things got heavy and didn’t stop at just a “fun” date out.
I think everyone is taking the Brave Dater thing too serious. Maybe I’m wrong, but I just see it as sort of a Bachelorette show thing, something fun to write about as she visits each city. Serious is when you actually change area codes or state lines and move to another city for better dating opportunities. I’ve heard of folks doing that actually.
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
11:50 am
lol mo! girl I am just sitting here looking out the window and typing…lol
lurker
March 12th, 2010
11:51 am
Only though because nothing has been establish. Ultimately it would probably leave a bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn’t do anymore dates with you. It would make me lean towards you’re probably out and about much
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
11:54 am
Well the way I read it is she is on tour. I don’t see anything wrong with and frankly I guess this is just the double standard in reverse. She is a brave dater, just don’t see her ever getting what she claims she may want because she is going about it all wrong.
now if this is homegurls job . . . then ok.
@Beautiful
Its a pimps job to keep a fresh stable of hoes. Is that ok too? LMAO!!!!
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
11:55 am
**You would only be “no good” to me if you led Natalie or Susan to believe that you were exclusive.**
bingo!
but still it wouldn’t sit well with most.
Kym-DIYer in Training
March 12th, 2010
11:56 am
Okay I am confused..if a dude is dating one woman on monday and another on tuesday..why is that wrong? I mean that is why it is called dating. Again all parties involve should know nothing serious is going on its just a date. I think and this is just me..that some women folks..keyword some..think that when Lucky takes them out on date one and express a interest for another date..he should then and there stop all communication with other women and focus only on getting to know her. I think that’s a bit much to ask of a guy or gal for that matter. If love or dating is a contact sport..then you have to make contact(not sexually) with more than one person..IMO.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
11:56 am
How will you know or get to know me if you’re changing flavors?
@lurker
I agree. That was my thoughts. I guess it just depends on how we view it.
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
11:57 am
lmbo @ Digs!
**She is a brave dater, just don’t see her ever getting what she claims she may want because she is going about it all wrong.**
^5.
RelldaRake - loves video games!!
March 12th, 2010
11:57 am
@dk….respect…thats the way i approach it as well
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
11:58 am
Its a pimps job to keep a fresh stable of hoes. Is that ok too? LMAO!!!!
lmbao….that sound a bit richard pryor! lol
Melo
March 12th, 2010
11:59 am
You would only be “no good” to me if you led Natalie or Susan to believe that you were exclusive.
@Kimmie??
what if nothing exclusive was promised to Susan but heavy pecking and mushy mushy eventually resulted in her bra,panty and skirt on the floor and the yams were shared be4 they parted for the nite..
And the next day..Susan bumps into Dig That and he has sexxy Natalie on his arm??
Howz is Susan or if it were u gon feel??
(doNt give me the “oh, i dont do that!” coz I know u dont(all u ladies)
,,,im just saying coz it happens in dating..and Susan likes Dig That by the way!!)
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
11:59 am
KP said it best that we should concentrate on one person at a time. get to know them, blah blah blah.
Willie Dynamite
March 12th, 2010
12:00 pm
You ARE supposed to go out with different people until you find one that you are comfy with. Heyal any attractive woman in ATL is bound to have a few options every night of the week. Most Men understand that and realize that part of the game. But to tell me just be a pinch runner and no chance of even stepping in the batters box (what up Swiss) cause you off to a different city then no thanks.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:01 pm
@Melo
Exactly. How many dates have ended with a kiss goodnight and oh yeah btw you know we are exclusive now. GTFOH
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
12:03 pm
lololol not many…..
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
12:03 pm
@Digs
it has happened! my relationship lasted eight years.
yes, Beautiful ♥s the intellectual, educated, career minded, successful thug types!
March 12th, 2010
12:04 pm
after one date he was all mine. two months later, living together.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:05 pm
@Beautiful
What happened mama? If you don’t mind sharing
AmazonRed™
March 12th, 2010
12:06 pm
hate I got demoted to Silver Elite this year. Tried my darnedest to make Gold, but I couldn’t.
Tazzee – I’m at Gold probably should have stayed at Silver, cuz I was just under 50,000 miles until my last trip. So 24,400 would have rolled over to this year and I could be confident I will at least stay Silver.
My new job requires travel, but I’m not confident i’m going to even hit Silver this year.
Having the exit row on each flight is worth the price of admission!
RandyT Ironically, I have no problem with babies on flights. I guess I just get lucky and get calm ones. I always get the ones who try to hog the armrest! That’s my flier beef!
lurker
March 12th, 2010
12:06 pm
Lucky takes them out on date one and express a interest for another date..he should then and there stop all communication with other women and focus only on getting to know her. I think that’s a bit much to ask of a guy or gal for that matter.
For me, even though we’re “just dating”, I don’t want or need to know each time you hit the date switch. If we are “just dating” and I decide to have “just” dinner and maybe a movie with you monday and another guy tuesday the next night, out of respect for you, it’s not something I’d disclose. It’s not a secret because we’re not “there” yet but I just wouldn’t.
i'm swiss
March 12th, 2010
12:07 pm
“Howz is Susan or if it were u gon feel??”
You’re right, Melo, some chics who say they’re cool with this lose their d@mn minds when it actually happens. There was this 1 chic in particular that I went out with once during my man-wh@re days who morphed into a Stage 5 Clinger. We had met up once — once — and she had even insisted prior to the first meeting that it was “as friends” and not a real “date.” So, the day after that she called me asking what we were doing that upcoming weekend. This chic literally started crying on the phone when I told her I had a date. WTF?!?! I was walking around looking over my shoulder for boiled bunnies for a while after that…
Raqi
March 12th, 2010
12:07 pm
Speaking of having fun we went bowling last night and the marido got me to get this gigantrious freakin’ bacon-cheese burger. That thing was massive. I knew it was going to be too much and I know it had to be 1000 calories by itself. Yall know I am trying to eat right. But you know what the marido said, “We are out to have fun tonight. Stop worrying about stuff and have fun just for now.” Then he kept trying to cheer me thru eating that massive burger which I couldn’t. He ate his and finished mine. Then we shared a Pazookie which was probably another 500 calories.
Sometimes you have to let go and have fun.
However, now I have to be extra cautious this week coming and get in more workout time to work off those massive calories from last night. He tried to sike me out saying the exercise from bowling was going to burn it all off, but he gone by the first one talking about “you getting a lil chubby”. All just so I can have a little fun. chuckle
Now let me eat my big bowl of dry salad.
AmazonRed™
March 12th, 2010
12:08 pm
@Beautiful
What happened mama? If you don’t mind sharing
*groan* No she doesn’t mind sharing. It’s the rest of us who mind!
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
12:10 pm
i’m swiss smdh laughing @ you! lol too funny!
Melo
March 12th, 2010
12:10 pm
no chance of even stepping in the batters box
u gotta cop a feel somehow…
If not the bootey that nite, at least pinch a sister’s butt,get a feel for her tatas or just some warm body rub and hug,with heavy breathing on her neckside..just to get some return for that prime sirlon steak shes having to take a to go box for.
Carlito
March 12th, 2010
12:10 pm
Looks as if the lines between “dating’ and a “relationship” are blurred. Time to do site visits. have a great weekend.
Kym-DIYer in Training
March 12th, 2010
12:11 pm
@Dig Now what the sam hill did you go and ask that fool question for?? Sweet Christmas biscuits and bacon!!!!! Not this show again!! Change the Channel!!
kimmie
March 12th, 2010
12:11 pm
You would only be “no good” to me if you led Natalie or Susan to believe that you were exclusive. Or if things got heavy and didn’t stop at just a “fun” date out.
Melo – What you described is just like the 2nd sentence above – things got heavy. Yes, I would feel kinda bad if I “went there” with Dig on Friday, but saw him out with Susie the next night. But, I really couldn’t say anything because I’m grown and Dig didn’t promise me anything. I gotta be able to hang with the big girls & accept the consequences of my behavior. Dig didn’t put a gun to my head. I did what I wanted to do. I can’t blame Dig.
See, this falls into the catagory yesterday of being too old for this type of behavior. I can’t go crying over spilled milk & calling Dig no good cause I rushed things. We could have just kept it at coffee & dessert & a walk in the park afterward & went on our seperate ways. Then when I saw Dig out the next night, wouldn’t be no thing, just a smile & a wave. Heck, Dig may see ME out with someone else.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:11 pm
Lol ARed
AmazonRed™
March 12th, 2010
12:13 pm
Sweet Christmas biscuits and bacon!!!!!
Good time head to lunch.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:14 pm
^5 Kimmie but you didnt say if got some that night or not
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
March 12th, 2010
12:14 pm
Okay, re the dude that goes out with Susan on Monday, and whomever on Tuesday,,, does that make him a bad person if they “understand” he is “just dating”. For some reason that made me think about Tiger’s girlfriends…what did they expect? Was he cheating on his wife, certainly…but does one consider him cheating on Jump 1 with Jump 2…Jump 11? Can he cheat on Jump 1 – 12 with his wife? Idle speculation on a rainy day.
RelldaRake - loves video games!!
March 12th, 2010
12:14 pm
But to tell me just be a pinch runner and no chance of even stepping in the batters box (what up Swiss) cause you off to a different city then no thanks.
- This can happen in the city as well…if she has too many options, i just tell her to go handle her business before she steps to me….period…i dont fit a circle into a square…the name of the game is cop and blow…..keep campaigning until you get elected…its not easy but along the way you can pick up a few supporters
kinderbabe
March 12th, 2010
12:15 pm
oh lord @Kym…not “sweet christmas biscuits and bacon!” oh god, i’m still laughing (my stomach hurts)…i’m not laughing at you beautiful.:) the expression is hilarious! lmao
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
12:15 pm
randy not tiger randy whew! lol
kimmie
March 12th, 2010
12:17 pm
Dig – Got some, got touchy-feely, heavy, all the same to me. If I wanted to keep it at “fun date, light”, you would be lucky if you even get a peck on the cheek. Just keeping it easy.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:17 pm
@Randyt
Tiger is a whole different conversation. Them tricks knew what it was. How did I know that he was married and they didn’t. And on TV crying the blues talking bout they got used. blah blah blah.
Raqi
March 12th, 2010
12:17 pm
Sweet Christmas biscuits and bacon
That’s funny.
SexyCool - About Bidness
March 12th, 2010
12:19 pm
Now I want a biscuit with bacon for lunch.
kimmie
March 12th, 2010
12:19 pm
Dig – Things got heavy, you might have gotten some, you might have come close, all the same to me. Things went beyond a peck on the cheek, which is about all you would get if I kept things light.
Dig That
March 12th, 2010
12:19 pm
you would be lucky if you even get a peck on the cheek.
Well damn. No wonder we only went out one time. Lol. Has me thinking tho. I guess we only get disappointed when our desired outcome is different then the actual outcome.
Raqi
March 12th, 2010
12:20 pm
The whole thing is just be straight forward with your intentions and everything should (should, should, should) be alright.
Melo
March 12th, 2010
12:21 pm
See, this falls into the catagory yesterday of being too old for this type of behavior.
@Kimmie!!??
and thank u very much coz this explains why a chic cant date like a guy unless her heart is made of steel!
Lady J
March 12th, 2010
12:21 pm
thanks dig!