Don’t believe the hype
I had a wonderful time in New York over the weekend and that city is amazing! I can understand why people go there and never want to leave. I want to thank everyone for their tips, they really came in handy. I will recap the trip for everyone later this week!
I was telling someone I met this weekend about the different topics we discuss on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog. The various challenges many of us face on the dating scene can feel insurmountable. It doesn’t help when single people let their gender mistrust take over and ruin a potentially good thing.
I think a lot of us sometimes adopt the very stereotypes and myths about the opposite sex that we complain about. What happens to our own instincts? Why do we believe the bad hype so easily and look for the worst to happen?
What would you say were the biggest stereotypes women have about men that get in the way of having a meaningful relationship? What would be some real solutions to combat this?
Some men probably accept stereotypes about women because they have seen their close friends burned once (or 30) times before. That’s enough to begin the male cynicism about relationships that other women have to pay for sometimes.
What kind of stereotypes do you think men have about women? How can we deal with it so that it is not a hindrance for our future relationships?
Happy Monday!
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457 comments Add your comment
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
2:47 pm
Lady J you laughing at me
SexyCool - About Business
March 8th, 2010
2:48 pm
And hell, it’s natural to want to knock the dog crap out of somebody that comes at you wrong or in a threatening manner. However, the emotionally intelligent, sensible response is to walk away or even run when you need to.
Just because something is natural don’t make it right or wrong.
Melo
March 8th, 2010
2:48 pm
Where does the “Higher Being” require us to be monogamous?
nowhere..
abc,the resident blog bible expert will let us know.
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
2:49 pm
But SexyCool, just because a person gets a tingle in the nether regions does not mean it not natural to be monogamous. The act of monogamy is natural. The eternal lust of the flesh is not. But that’s where being the more intelligent being comes in.
If we as human beings reacted one every and all inclinations then yeah I would say that monogamy is not natural. We can’t help ourselves. But we not only know how to refrain, we do it when and where we want to in other parts of our lives.
RelldaRake
March 8th, 2010
2:50 pm
monogamy is practice to establish paternity…could you imagine the problems if most women did not know who the father is…lol
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
2:51 pm
rell
could you imagine the problems if most women did not know who the father is
you watched maury lately
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
2:52 pm
god-man-woman for a reason
Rell, yep. With God being on the upper side and the woman the “bottom” and they both keeping him in check, man is boxed in. He can’t go wrong. LOL
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
March 8th, 2010
2:52 pm
The Ten Commandments were to protect us from ourselves…not orders. God may forgive you, but he won’t shelter you from the consequences of your actions. Not many people have ever said, “having an affair made our marriage better”. Always seemed to me that one should fix the marriage or GTFO, but infidelity is not the best solution.
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
2:52 pm
PK lil lady had an awesome 1st soccer practice!!!! Great dribble control and scored two goals during a practice games (Just teaching her now that when the ball pass the cones it is out of bounds and hands are a no no at all times)…why my wild self was on the sidelines running back and forth coach and yelling pointers to my baby screaming go go go!!!! Too happy plus she knows her spelling/sight words for tomorrow….I truly didn’t realize a 4yr cognitive level is open and ready!
signed_Proud Soccer Mom! HAHAHA!
Dan - my invented truth
March 8th, 2010
2:53 pm
Point of order:
Monogamy is not natural….there are few species that mate for life, and in the whole of human history (as well as currently) polygamy is acceptable in most cultures.
That is all
SexyCool - About Business
March 8th, 2010
2:54 pm
So…the tingle in the nether regions is the UNnatural occurrence in the equation?
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
2:54 pm
And I am not saying that tempations or whatever does not rear its ugly every now and then, but the unit of monogamy is natural.
Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)
March 8th, 2010
2:54 pm
ms. lurker don’t let the summer past you bye!
SexyCool - About Business
March 8th, 2010
2:55 pm
Oh…and all that being said…faithfulness is desired and required in my relationship. Regardless of whether it occurs naturally or not.
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
2:55 pm
randyt your 2:52 is great!
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
2:56 pm
That tingle is the power that we give to the whole thing. You can see a person and not see them. Right?
AmazonRed™
March 8th, 2010
2:56 pm
What’s up Elijah? Good to read ya again.
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
2:57 pm
Lady J
That is cool! I’m excited to see how my lil mamma is going to do when she starts teeball practice. I don’t know nada about baseball and my brother doesn’t either he was all football sheesh
Melo
March 8th, 2010
2:57 pm
The act of monogamy is natural..
monogamy is a man(female) made rule!
so how do u explain other cultures that dont recognize monogamy or that practice polygamy??
what do u define as natural……
human procreation is natural and females giving birth is natural…..
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
2:58 pm
random did some grown ups miss out on bday parties as kids I swear if I get another evite from the same person or is a pisces trait….lol just fro fun but folk love planning these events! LOL
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
March 8th, 2010
2:58 pm
@ Dan,
Maybe, but killing is natural, study history…doesn’t mean it is right or good. With the possible exception of Tiger W., all of us are capable of being faithful, we just often choose not to. Fidelity and infidelity are personal choices. No one makes a lady fall on another guy’s diznik, and for him the diznik does not unzip his pants and jump over, he does the unzipping.
DreamsMaterialize
March 8th, 2010
2:59 pm
SexyCool lol at the penguin test sample. Actually, not all penguins are monogamous.
nowhere..
Melo that’s my understanding as well. The CREATOR neither promotes nor condemns polygamy.
But we not only know how to refrain, we do it when and where we want to in other parts of our lives.
So the act of refraining qualifies something as natural? I can also refrain from being monogamous. So does that make polygamy natural?
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
2:59 pm
PK I never had a feeling like that ever to see your lil one perform on the field I teared up then I got out there with here…it was brisky cold friday night and we never missed a beat!!!!!! She didn’t want to leave!
Melo
March 8th, 2010
3:00 pm
monogamy is practice to establish paternity
NO, I disagree..u can still know ur father in a polygamous relationship…
RelldaRake
March 8th, 2010
3:00 pm
@princess….thats my point…lol
but seriously…we give little girls a different message then boys..but they both share in the choice/responsibilty of s ex. We teach little girls to wait..but men to go….see the problem. We make women ashamed for there feelings regarding sex…which in turns creates this taboo like aura around the whole act…ladies in your teen years sex was like the boogy man…but for boys is was like going for the gold medal…its crazy…we still think that its not natural to lust…is that not our sin to carry…
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
3:01 pm
Dan, just because something is accepted in a culture does not make it right. Some people would rather make things acceptable rather than control their own urges and be accountable. There are things going on now right here in the USA that are now being accepted that are not right. Our society would rather make it okay than to endure the fight.
But all in all it’s about a choice. We be because you choose to be.
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:02 pm
rell good 3pm!
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
3:03 pm
Rell that was on point!
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
3:03 pm
We teach little girls to wait..but men to go….see the problem
Rell, exactly. We are the men suppose to “go” with while we are teaching the girls to withstand. They both should be taught to wait.
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:04 pm
with her pk…ok lol
Melo
March 8th, 2010
3:05 pm
Dan, just because something is accepted in a culture does not make it right
Raqi?
so ur standard bearer is America?
Becoz monogamy is the law in america,that makes it natural??
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:05 pm
so melo woman can have many lovers too married or just men
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:06 pm
meant women melo…smh lol
Dan - my invented truth
March 8th, 2010
3:07 pm
@Raqi
But I don’t place value judgment (right/wrong) on other cultures. I was referring to your use of “natural”, natural to who?
And you’re right, it is choice.
@Randy
Killing is a quite natural response. Refraining from doing so is celebrated in the dominant American culture. Doesn’t make it “right” or “wrong”.
RelldaRake
March 8th, 2010
3:07 pm
They both should be taught to wait
- i agree somewhat, i think the emotions of sex or the feeling should be discussed…why are you waiting.
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
3:09 pm
Random:
i wish i had some raspberry iced tea right about now
Leggs
March 8th, 2010
3:11 pm
@Lady J ~ how cute…you’re just starting.
I can’t refrain from thinking how good I would feel to take a brick upside my ex’s head, but my instincts tell me I will wind up in jail so using my free will, I’ll ignore him to the best of my abilities.
Melo
March 8th, 2010
3:11 pm
so melo woman can have many lovers too married or just men
Lady J??
when u say natural,u refering to a Godly law..not man law.
Is it allowed in the bible or do u see womne with multiple men??
u do see men with multiple women…thats natural..
just like some trees grow naturally and others grow when planted by men.
u cant say natural coz its done in america as ur logic/justification for why its natural…thats bull!
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:13 pm
yep leggs it is a beautiful priceless feeling she was running back and forth with no cares in the world and I was thinking wow!!!! each generation tries to enhance the next….I never went without but she is geting much more and I am happy God chose me!:)
Leggs
March 8th, 2010
3:13 pm
@Princessnik ~ I have 2 pks right here on my desk. I’d rather have Raspberry Lemonade.
DreamsMaterialize
March 8th, 2010
3:15 pm
but infidelity is not the best solution.
Polygamy is not the same as infidelity.
Some people would rather make things acceptable rather than control their own urges and be accountable
Raqi This is not why polygamy exists. Polygamy exists as a practical (often economical) social dynamic.
Lady J
March 8th, 2010
3:15 pm
just ain’t right but whatever the M word is my theme belive that! Too many personalties and a personality like mines war will be declared @ some point….J ain’t playing that! ha!
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
3:15 pm
Rell, waiting until they are old enough to deal with and somewhat handle those urges. Old enough to make better decisions. Heck look at some of the decisions we made as adults and how that turned out. We should not give them the green light to just do it because the urge arises. Kids need to learn discipline and restraint.
It’s what my parents taught me that made me think before getting into a physical relationship when I was a mere child. If boys are taught on the same level as girls most of them would think before acting also.
Sassy Me...The Real Deal in Stereo :-)
March 8th, 2010
3:16 pm
Killing is a quite natural response.
Leggs
March 8th, 2010
3:16 pm
@Lady J ~ I thank God for choosing me as well. I take my job very seriously! Keep your camera, you may have an AFV moment. I had a priceless one, but no camera to record it. We still laugh at it.
Raqi
March 8th, 2010
3:17 pm
But, Rell, I agree with sex should not be taught as being a bad thing. But moreso a more mature act. A lot of kids as you said grow up with hangups because they were taught that sex is bad. It’s not bad, it just has its place and time.
SexyCool - About Business
March 8th, 2010
3:18 pm
I am officially mean-mugging my co-worker who has gotten me hooked on caramel lattes.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
March 8th, 2010
3:18 pm
@ Melo
Melo, polygamous cultures evolved because there were few men and many women, because of war, tribal feuds etc. The men that were still alive and verile fed and sheltered the women and propagated their culture. That is not the case, here in the USA. Women slightly outnumber men, but it is not a two or three to one ratio. Is monogamy or polygamy natural, who the phluck knows? What is a reality is that we have chosen by birth or desire to live in a culture that does not accept polygamy, and at the end of the day, culture dictates what is and what is not “natural”.
It is not natural to drive 55 on I-285 either, but that did not keep me from the $400 speeding ticket I got in Sandy Springs. Culture and the laws of the land are what overule our own idea of what is and is not natural.
Leggs
March 8th, 2010
3:18 pm
“Killing is a quite natural response.” Yes indeed and main reason why you must keep “respect” for your mate front and center when arguing. Death presents itself when respect flies out the window!
PrincessNik (having a Magnificent Monday)
March 8th, 2010
3:19 pm
Lady J lemonade of any kind is my fav but i’m just wanting tea for some reason today lol