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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Ex-Rated

I had not planned to blog about singer John Mayer’s so-called “Mayergate” controversy that caused a buzz last month.  If you were spared the pop culture road kill, Mr. Mayer had a very interesting interview with Playboy magazine.   Throughout the interview – (which I’m wondering if he was actually high at the time), Mayer managed to insult pretty much numerous of people who were probably fans before this.

When Mayer referred to sex with his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, as “a drug”, I wondered how often guys rated their women  out loud to other people.  Is this normal? Do guys really reflect on their conquests and rank the women and their skills? I won’t deny that some women certainly bring it up their naughty memories in girl talk, mostly to gush about how the man made him feel.

Mayer also alluded to the fact that he isn’t attracted to women of color.  He chose a truly unfunny and dumb way to put it.  This seemed to upset a lot of people but I can’t knock him for having a preference of white women.  Having that kind of validation from men of other races isn’t really something a most women of color seek out.  I certainly don’t need it to feel attractive, but I don’t need that from any race or gender. It is a slippery slope, though.  Women want to feel sexy and desired, but often times, the only way that is depicted is in a hypersexual way that fetishizes us.

Do you think men and women could do a better job with our “ex-rated” talk?  When do we outgrow the locker room talk and naughty chatter about our dirty secrets?

Did you read or hear about John Mayer’s interview that caused all that controversy? Jessica Simpson said in an Oprah interview this week that she was really disappointed and saddened that he shared intimate details about their relationship.  Have you ever found out that your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend were badmouthing you or blabbing about your bedroom skills? How did you handle it?

Happy Friday!

419 comments Add your comment

Lady J-Its A Beautiful Day!!!!

March 5th, 2010
8:41 am

Happy Friday Folks!!!!!:)
Enjoy the warm weather ahead!:)

Leggs

March 5th, 2010
8:43 am

When do we outgrow the locker room talk and naughty chatter about our dirty secrets? According to this blog, NEVA! :lol:

Dan - my invented truth

March 5th, 2010
8:44 am

Read the article (if you can it is quite NSFW).

I read it, and it wasn’t that bad to be honest with you. And yes, every guy (that I know) has one woman in his history that is like crack to him. Some of it is the sex, some of it is the woman, and some of it is how the dude relates to the woman.

As for the locker room talk, I never really cared for it (or participated). Chance were likely that we were sleeping with some of the same chicks (this town is REALLY small in HS) and only one of us knows about the other, so why would I start beef?

Living Life

March 5th, 2010
8:45 am

Good Morning All!! TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoohooo!! How is everyone today?

princessnik_living live like its goldne

March 5th, 2010
8:54 am

Hey all!

Do you think men and women could do a better job with our “ex-rated” talk?

Truth of the matter is, the differnce between John Mayer and everyday people with this is we are only telling our close friends for the most part, or we may reveal details without revealing the actual person, John put it on blast in a national magazine. :shock:

@ Dan
And yes, every guy (that I know) has one woman in his history that is like crack to him

I think that applies to women also.

princessnik_living life like its golden

March 5th, 2010
8:54 am

i’m still sleepy my moniker was all full of typos LOL

Raqi

March 5th, 2010
9:06 am

I guess those are just some of the perils of being famous.

There are certain things that I tell my bffs and there are things I wouldn’t ever tell them. They know me and mine personally so somethings are off limits.

I have fun with you all because I don’t know any of you and you don’t know me. And I have to keep it like that. LOL

kinderbabe--TGIF!!

March 5th, 2010
9:12 am

living life—i need to borrow some of that energy you have! lol b/c i’m tuckered out over here. and the day just started.:( i plan on getting A LOT of sleep this weekend.

good morning everybody

Sassy Me...Je t'aime :-)

March 5th, 2010
9:20 am

When do we outgrow the locker room talk and naughty chatter about our dirty secrets?

As we’ve seen and read some people never outgrow it but I think there should be some things that are off limits with regards to ones “intimate details” if it could/will embarrass the other partner…actually even if it wasn’t embarrassing some things should not be discussed. Even then there’s a way to be tactful about what is shared, but for the most part it’s not cool to divulge personal info like that to the masses.

Sassy Me...I'm all in :-)

March 5th, 2010
9:23 am

BTW….IT’S FRIDAAAY!!(said in my Sir Charles voice) :lol:

princessnik_living life like its golden

March 5th, 2010
9:23 am

Raqui

I agree with you, most things i tell my bff after the fact if at all. There were times when we would be having girltalk and a question would arise…….crickets……..LOL!

I hate to say it but sometimes some females can be trifling and want to sample that good loving you bragging about, so just let em see the glow and wonder what exactly caused it ;)

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:24 am

I’ve related things in this blog I would never tell my friends, only because of the anonymity. However in the real world where we live and work, there are three things men should never tell anyone:

1) How you fight
2) Who you (you know)
3) When you bluff at poker

I will never intentially listen to a JM song again. He stepped over the line.

Dan - my invented truth

March 5th, 2010
9:26 am

@Randy

Whatever, dude admitted defeat to his lust for a particular woman (in the most inartful of ways), what’s really wrong with that?

AmazonRed™

March 5th, 2010
9:26 am

Happy Friday lovelies -

My girls and I are like a modern day version of Sex and the City (or perhaps “Let’s Talk About Pep from things I hear). We don’t hold too much back when we share information about guys we date…especially after it’s over. You’ll get the stories you couldn’t tell while you were with him. :lol: A few of my girls even have blogs and they’ll write about his azz! :shock:

But for us, it’s all in the family. We keep our stories to ourselves. Blog posts are stories with names hidden to protect the guilty. :lol:

I’ve never been a John Mayer fan, but I don’t have a problem with his opinion. I don’t seek men out of my race either. However, it was a boneheaded way of talking, especially in print that lives forever these days.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:30 am

@ Dan

I have no problem with him getting high on sex…done that many times and yes, like you and JM, some were totally addictive. I guess my country upbringing just taught me that it is not right to “kiss and tell”.

princessnik_living life like its golden

March 5th, 2010
9:31 am

AmazonRed, Let’s talk about Pep is hilarious!

Dan - my invented truth

March 5th, 2010
9:37 am

@Randy

I’ll admit that he may have gone too far (most I would’ve prolly said is “mm-mm” and nodded).

But, the fact that they dated wasn’t a secret, the fact that they had sex – a lot – has never been disputed about anyone, but putting her skills on blast was over the line (though good to know in case her tour comes through).

Jeff

March 5th, 2010
9:38 am

JM is an idiot, but so is Jessica Simpson, so it’s a wash to me.

I think men are actually less talkative than women. My experience has gone like this:

Male convo: did you hit it? Yeah. Sweet!
Female: And, tell me ALL about it!! Well, you’ve seen a baby’s arm, right? Well, it was ike that, but….. then he…..And then I ……and all the graphics in between.

but hey, it’s just my experience and since I haven’t slept with every woman in the world, it doesn’t count as an actually census on women.

As far as his comment about not being attracted to black women, well, he proved his stupidity throughout the entire interview, so no reason that topic would be an exception.

You know where I stand; if she’s got it, she’s got it.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:38 am

@ Dan

For example, and I am not saying this is right for everyone, my last relationship went back to her ex-husband. If we were to meet (he and I) and he sort of enquired about whether we had “done the deed”, I would lie like a MF…to protect her. I would swear up and down that I wanted to and she would not let me. Let him think she was still innocent.

Not for everyone, but right for me.

DreamsMaterialize

March 5th, 2010
9:39 am

Morning

Women AND men talk about their experiences. Everyone confides in someone, at least that’s what I always assume. I agree that certain things need to remain private. When you’re in a relationship, you expose certain parts of yourself because you trust that person. I think it’s tactless (downright shady) to reveal that to others, even after we’ve stopped dating. If you’ve confided in me, then you’ve confided in me.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:41 am

@ Dan

True, everyone ‘assumed” that she and he and she and Tony R and she and whomevr were doing the deed. I just have a hard time with someone broadcasting it. I do agree with Jeff above that women are more likely to tell all about the details. Never understood that, although I was fortunate to have gotten high grades when they reported the activities ;-)

Jeff

March 5th, 2010
9:41 am

Yes Dreams, classy never lets you down in that area. Your future spouse may have just written you off by the way you discussed private details.

Dan - my invented truth

March 5th, 2010
9:49 am

@Randy

Come on, Son!

Two adults canoodling all over the place (TR and JS), what do you really think is happening? They ain’t playing tiddlywinks.

But I’m with you on putting out the details. As stated, there might be 3 people on my end (besides me and the woman) that knows anything happened, with only her and I knowing the details (again, on my end).

I’d lay 10 to 1 that a given woman has told her friend(s) something – sometimes to her detrement.

DreamsMaterialize

March 5th, 2010
9:50 am

Ok with that said, let me tell you all about this girl, the beach, oils, and some candle wax… lol

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:51 am

Right Dan, not in the deed…in the details ;-)

abc

March 5th, 2010
9:54 am

John Mayer is a clown. What a buffoon. He’s worth ignoring.

I never talk about exes, nor currents, nor bedroom details or rankings or anything like that. Such things are for teenage boys, maybe. I’ve no idea if exes of mine talk about me that way. They shouldn’t, but if they do, I’ll probably never know about it, so no biggie.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

March 5th, 2010
9:55 am

@ Dan

Another sidebar. I got an email several years ago from a former lover I had not heard from in a year asking if my “ears were burning”. She then proceeded to tell me how she and her bff were talking over a 4th or 5th glass of wine about their best lovers…and I was mentioned very highly. Of course, being a male, my immediate thought was not “pride”…my immediate thought was “THREESOME”. Never worked out though to my dismay, jsut good publicity ;-)

lurker

March 5th, 2010
9:58 am

When do we outgrow the locker room talk and naughty chatter about our dirty secrets?

Ummm, not from reading this blog. Wednesday was a small example. But I guess things discussed and revealed aren’t so much a secret.

lurker

March 5th, 2010
10:00 am

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/lifestyle/people/jessica-simpson-hits-back-at-john-mayer-20100305-pmqz.html

I mean really, folks are the way they are, no shock factor here. If they’re that way with you then most likely with everyone/others….and vice versa.

Kym-Clown Wrangler

March 5th, 2010
10:02 am

Good Morning All,

I like John Mayer and because he put his pillow talk on blast or doesn’t date women that are not white will not stop me from listening to his songs. Heck Daughters is one of my favorites. I don’t know why we all expect something better or different from Hollyweird types. I mean didn’t the ajc just post that Monique doesn’t mind that her hubby has cheated on her and they have a open relationship/marriage. I mean folks in Hollyweird switch beds like underwear..today Brad and Jen..next week Bradgelina..I guess when it comes to entertainers and **superstars** my expectations are pretty low. As for the locker room talk..I hear and tell more than my fair share to my bffs but I would say we go all locker room/porn stars…no one gets a rating..if anything if I had bad sexual relations with someone I always say that one doesn’t count in my sleep number. or that was a pity ___(insert word here)….but I digress.

SexyCool - The Silly Version

March 5th, 2010
10:02 am

I’m pretty damn addictive myself…so, um…yeah…I can relate to being called a drug. LMAO!!!

Besides, it’s like John Legend says…
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazin’
Baby we’re so high
Walking on cloud 9
You got me up so high

AmazonRed™

March 5th, 2010
10:04 am

I got an email several years ago from a former lover I had not heard from in a year asking if my “ears were burning”. She then proceeded to tell me how she and her bff were talking over a 4th or 5th glass of wine about their best lovers…and I was mentioned very highly

Yeah, guys don’t seem to mind girl talk if they are getting favorable reviews. :lol:

I remember one night I was going out with the girls. The boo knew we’d be talking about guys. When I got [to his] home afterwards I told him how it went and that I told the girls “I am having greeeaat sex.”

He got a kick out of that. :lol:

Rell - Looking for Ms. P. Galore

March 5th, 2010
10:05 am

I have shared alot…so i am guilty

John Mayer who is he…who cares…lol

its friday folks..have any of you guys seen Ms P Galore…she has not shown up yet?

SexyCool - The Silly Version

March 5th, 2010
10:08 am

abc

March 5th, 2010
10:08 am

Mayer is a fair guitar player and an odd singer. I find his diction issues, largely due to sticking his tongue out when he sings (gross) to be an affectation. He’s a blues poseur. In short, I’m not a fan. I don’t quite get why people would like his stuff, but to each his own.

I think all the press about his kiss-and-tell with every chick he gets with is a cheap way to get publicity. It illustrates to me what a lightweight character he is, though.

Rell - Looking for Ms. P. Galore

March 5th, 2010
10:09 am

I have put out some bad work in the past..either from being lazy with the chick or i am so horny its like i am jacking off in her poo cee….i wonder if women ever feel like they but out bad work????

I had to re-tool my mind over the last year..because what i was getting was straight lame from what i was getting in the past…but what was funny is that all of em asked me how was it…and i had to spare there egos…but in the back of my mind i was thinking…you need more work…lol

CoolShadow

March 5th, 2010
10:20 am

When do we outgrow the locker room talk and naughty chatter about our dirty secrets?

Some of us never grew into the locker room phase. I’ve never been a kiss/fondle/lustful act & tell kind of dude regarding sexual exploits; the rare times I’ve discussed my deeds were usually with close friends and everything was implied without details. I’ve been around a few dudes who related explicit details of conquests and thought they were encroaching too deep in the TMI zone.

But in general, it seems that men are general in detailing exploits while women will get a little more detailed. A lot of times the storytellers do it out of spite and as a way to get back or demean the other party.

Mr_NYC

March 5th, 2010
10:22 am

I prefer the B McKnight approach “what do here stays here”
Cause like Maxwell sings it “if I spend the night with you . . .”
LOL
Its a darn good Friday.

Mr_NYC

March 5th, 2010
10:22 am

Ooops, forgot the grammar check
“what WE do here stays here”

anonymousella

March 5th, 2010
10:25 am

there’s a difference between telling your best girlfriends something or mentioning it on a blog where no names are attached and telling an international magazine. the latter ain’t even a li’l’ bit classy. that was

i agree with your assessment. i think john mayer was high and/or drunk. he conjured up some disturbing imagery in that interview with regards to interracial sex. that fool is in love with his own wit or lack thereof.

SexyCool - The Silly Version

March 5th, 2010
10:25 am

There is this man named Chris that I try to see once or twice a month. He puts his hands all over my body and makes me feel SO, SO good.
I can’t wait to see him today.
If ya’ want his number, let me know. I’m sure he can fit you in soon.
:)

i'm swiss

March 5th, 2010
10:26 am

Morning all… RE: John Mayer — This is what happens when people who are not at all funny try to be…

Not a fan, don’t really care what he thinks and/or says. Though, in response to his comments, if his wang is David Duke, then mine must be Malcolm X. :lol: To each his own, I guess…

princessnik_living life like its golden

March 5th, 2010
10:28 am

SexyCool i may have to hit you up for that number in a few weeks, im determined to take a day and be all about me, and stop being everybody’s everything for just 24 hours at least ;)

I am whatever you say I am

March 5th, 2010
10:28 am

um…..well…….I……um…….

I can’t even comment :shock:

let me get back to work

Melo

March 5th, 2010
10:30 am

Good freak eeeeky friday folks!

yeah, i agree with Kym,its hollyweird, so no surprises..

The bad part is John put Jessica on blast so every celebrity that qualifies is gonna want to use her for target practice,at least to get a taste of the naplam drug he talking about.
From a dating perspective,John’ stock is UP,Jessica’s is Down!

Musically,he has hurt most of the females of color and that will hurt his cross over appeal.

Do you think men and women could do a better job with our “ex-rated” talk?

Yeah,less is more!

I wld really hate to date and have a woman on my arm,all the while when the back of my head is heavy and the hair on the back of my neck is twingy and on alert coz of the man talking about how they chewed my gerl’s azz! :lol:

So I neva talked about my exes like that,even to my boys other than mentioning in passing that yeah,I been to the well! Outa mutual respect.

Coz boys do ask their boys tho,” U hit her yet? :lol: U gotta keep the disclosure to a bare minimum,

Besides some guys have a habit of trying to sneak behind ur back if u say too much nice splackalicious stuff about her..like what one of my homies tried do to me and to one of my 2nd tier bench players..Good gerl came and told me,”hey, whats up with ur dude,he hollering at me!”

:lol: :lol: :lol:

nice day folks!

lurker

March 5th, 2010
10:34 am

it get’s pretty explicit here….but I guess that’s due to being virtual

SexyCool - The Silly Version

March 5th, 2010
10:35 am

Mostly I only tell real details about the ones that are HHC (Hump-Hump-Come) or the ones that are NEDs (Need Extra Dizzle). The names are changed to protect the lameness.

Yeah…me and my girls get great laughs off those. Juvenile, I know. But entertaining nonetheless.

princessnik_living life like its golden

March 5th, 2010
10:36 am

The names are changed to protect the lameness.

exactly!

Leggs

March 5th, 2010
10:40 am

Are you still talking about crack sex addiction?

SexyCool - The Silly Version

March 5th, 2010
10:41 am

BTW – The NED phrase is an SCool original, has been submitted for publication on UrbanDictionary.com and I have filed for copywright protection. You will be required to PayPal me .$15 everytime you use it.

MORE LMAO!!!