accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Chasing Pavements

One of my favorite singer/songwriters, Adele sings about chasing after love, even if it leads nowhere.  It reminds me of what it feels like to be the woman asking a guy out first.  I know men are used to this feeling, all the time, but for a lady, there could be more at stake.  Every time a woman asks a man out first, she is taking a risk at shifting the dynamics of a future relationship.

Is it better for a woman to make such a risk if she feels that strong of an attraction to a guy?

When women approach men, what exactly do they stand to lose? I always hear so many men say that they truly admire a woman that can ask him out.  I have no hard statistics, but these same men aren’t actually married or in a relationship with that woman.  So is it really admirable or are men secretly thinking they don’t want to be the one pursued after all?

When a woman asks a man out, is she chasing pavements? Can it ever lead to a relationship with good potential?

361 comments Add your comment

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
1:38 pm

Raqi – Right, regarding your 1:34.

Plus Dreams, what’s up with all that about their MBA & Ph.D & all? Haven’t you guys said that you didn’t care about all that? LOL!!

Melo

February 18th, 2010
1:39 pm

what if they had been the total opposite, would you have labeled them as desperate had the come at you?

Good qstion Raqi altho,even with those that approached him,it wld be interesting to know what has he done with them…….long term prospects much??

I gotta go,but it was nice talking to uall

see yaall tmrow! :lol:

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
1:40 pm

WiseDiva how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
1:42 pm

Dig – You are probably different, but too often when men do it, it’s “he’s going after what he wants, he’s being assertive, taking initiative, runnin thangs”! When women do the same, we’re labeled a beyotch, too independant, angry, desperate, etc!

Willie Dynamite

February 18th, 2010
1:43 pm

Afternoon All,

I can totally relate to this topic. My Wife initially approached and asked me out for drinks. We somewhat knew each other as some of her extended circle or friends knew some of my circle of friends. Anyway we would frequently be in the same places. She asked her friends about me and they gave her the news. I never really asked about her because I tended to leave friends of friends alone. She knew I wasn’t ready for relationship and all that. We met had a few drinks and left it at that. 3-4 months later we meet again (her request), I’m still in the same having fun life mode and told her that. We were cool off and on for about 2 yrs before we started dating seriously. In that time frame I can say she asked me out about 3-4 times for drinks before I ever thought about asking her out. The rest is history.

i'm swiss

February 18th, 2010
1:43 pm

“But I to realize there are cases where the woman may see the guy first and like I already stated there is nothing wrong with the woman showing her interest. But the man should do the chasing.”

@ Raqi — Agreed. It’s all about subtlety. A woman can give the “green light” but still leave it up to the man to press the accelerator… ;-)

Wise Diva

February 18th, 2010
1:44 pm

LOL @ the Tiger Woods jokes, ya’ll are worse than me hehehe

NY2GA

February 18th, 2010
1:48 pm

Kimmie – 12:26 post, I definitely try to be. Tricks are for kids, we Grown now …lol…

NY2GA

February 18th, 2010
1:51 pm

PRINCESSNIK – 12:26 post, I got you and yes that makes a lot of sense. We definitely on the same page…

Cemeeli

February 18th, 2010
1:55 pm

they let that younglady Angela go lastnight on American Idol…i usually don’t watch it, but she had some story.

Cemeeli

February 18th, 2010
1:55 pm

they let that younglady Angela go lastnight on American Idol…i usually don’t watch it, but she had some story.

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
1:57 pm

You see, I’m swiss & Melo have basically said they prefer the more traditional approach. Nobody puts them down. But when women express that we’d rather follow a more traditional role, we get put down, or it’s a debate.

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
1:59 pm

@kimmie
Well its a matter of viewpoint. It’s probably new to a lot of guys. It could be a level of intimidation. I normally don’t hang in places where people are desperate, however we are in an age where a woman’s independence is multiplied at levels we have never seen in history so this area doesn’t shock me. And women have risen so high in social, economic and educational status that alot of men feel like they are at a disadvantage and will never approach these women. And these women are beautiful as well. Do I call her a beyotch because she finds me attractive and wants to buy me drinks? No!!! I actually find it fun and letting her get her independence on while we get wasted and live it up. Do yo thang girl. How you gon be mad with that? LMAO!!!

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
1:59 pm

Oh yeah, kimmie and others that recommended it, while watching Valentine’s Day last night about 45 minutes in I rated it ♥♥♥ but by the end of the movie I gave it ♥♥♥♥. Had Kathy Bates and Queen Latifah had better roles it would have gotten ♥♥♥♥♥.

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
2:02 pm

88% of Marriages the man proposed.

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
2:03 pm

78% of Divorces the woman files. LOL

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
2:05 pm

Raqi – I forgot to ask did you enjoy the movie! While no, not an Oscar contender, it is entertaining! The critics really slammed it. Sometimes, I’m just not in the mood for “deep”!

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:05 pm

@ Kimmie Sometimes, I’m just not in the mood for “deep”!

life is deep enough

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:07 pm

@Raqi
Too funny. I have a buddy that married a cardiologist and he is was doing pretty for himself but that shoe can be on the other foot too. I”m good with that as well. Now he gets half of her stuff instead of the other way around.

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:09 pm

good read dig that!

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:10 pm

raqi sooooo true with the stats! lmao

Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)

February 18th, 2010
2:11 pm

What it do people?
Sassy is back! Yes!!!!!!!! :smile: :smile:

A famous quote from yesterday’s blog. I am not longer f/cking anyone on the blog…by SexyCool. You are all that!

Hey it’s 2010, women are empowered to dreams big and live the life of their choosing asking out a man should be minor compared to the what you they are accomplishing right here and right now!

Last week a woman tracked me down in Walmart to ask for the digits, she was finnneeeee!

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
2:14 pm

It’s probably not a movie I will intentionally watch again. We did notice that Gary Marshall likes to recycle his casts. There were like 5 or 6 of them in that movie last night that one of my bff says were in Princess Diaries.

And two of them I know were in Pretty Woman and The Runaway Bride. You got to love those Marshalls.

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
2:14 pm

Dig – That’s refreshing. Last Sunday, a young lady spoke for our annual Love Sunday, which is sort of like Women’s day because a women’s group in the church puts on the event. The speaker is an epidemiologist at the CDC, a researcher, is on President Obama’s health counsel, involved in a lot of community activities, teaches dance at the church AND has a PH.D husband and 2 beautiful kids under 5 years old AND she’s beautiful! Her resume is probably thicker than Michele Obama’s and she’s as sweet as she can be, easy-going. A lot of guys would be very intimidated by all that and not approach her. Her hubby had no problem though! That’s who I thought about when reading your post.

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:15 pm

I can dig that 007. Fine Walmart booty. If Walmart had a bar that would be the hottest ticket in town.

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:16 pm

@kimmie
That is a confident man that got the prize. That actually is a turn on.

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:17 pm

If Walmart had a bar that would be the hottest ticket in town.

Dig That

you aint never lied! What is about “wally world”? When we would be home from college my best friends momma would always send us on a late night run for juice and bannans for granny, amazing the people we ran into.

Raqi

February 18th, 2010
2:19 pm

Let’s do a WalMart and rollback. Yesterday was about rotations.

Let me ask you a question Mr. Lurker. This woman was so fine, what are the chances of her seeing someone else and still running you down do you think?

I mean a fine woman probably has a guy, right? And then she out chasing dudes. LOL

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:24 pm

raqui …..Let’s do a WalMart and rollback

CLASSIC!

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:24 pm

@Raqi
You have no clue how many fine and drop dead beautiful women I meet on a daily basis with no man in sight. Which is basically what kimmie and I were discussing. And that is probably the main reason there is so much non traditional chasing.

@Princess
I wish I knew but wally world can be off the chain sometime, especially late at night. ^5

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:25 pm

walmart is the devil lol I spend more money than ever I hatte going in lolololol but PRINCESSNIK in orangeburg back then that was our highlight! LOL just thinking back to sunday morning I spent more money than the list called for but I do get great looks from the men in there but it stops there….lol

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:25 pm

Dig That, i remember reading a while back that some wal-marts were doing singles nights :shock: you had a special bow to put on your buggy to let other singles know you were “shopping” :lol:

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:27 pm

in orangeburg back then that was our highlight!

Lady J! oh boy do i remember, and then when you were doing/buyin something you had no business you’d go to the walmart on the other side of town (I was in Columbia):wink:

Sassy Me :-)

February 18th, 2010
2:28 pm

Sassy is back!

Heey 007!! ;)

Willie Dynamite

February 18th, 2010
2:30 pm

Thats funny, the Wifey hates Walmart becuz she gets hit on so much there.

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:30 pm

lmbao PRINCESSNIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cola was an upgrade for me chica me and the ex killed Harbbison (sp)from the movies to resturants to best buy to whatever! Those were the days!!!!!! Life was not pressing @ all I didn’t even own a cell phone! hahahaha!

kimmie

February 18th, 2010
2:32 pm

Yep, remember the days of “Club Walmart”!

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:32 pm

@Princess
Singles night at Walmart. WOW!!!!! I didnt do Walmart in South Carolina when I lived there but I can only imagine. I wonder if Walmart was there when I was. I was on the run back then and hiding out in little teenie weenie town called Sumter.

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:33 pm

seriously PRINCESSNIK I have yet to speed date although I will soon but to do it in wally world NOT i don’t think so I truly very seldom go in….it was my turn to cook and bake cup cakes and cookies sunday that is the ONLY reason I was in there…..lol

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:33 pm

Lady J………. didn’t even own a cell phone!

Me either LOL!!!! (I actually Lived in the Harbison area after graduation.) I had a pager :shock: I spent a little time in O’Burg though, the ex was in grad school there, and he ended up being an Dorm Director at Clafflin for a short while

Sassy Me :-)

February 18th, 2010
2:34 pm

you had a special bow to put on your buggy to let other singles know you were “shopping”

Where they do that at?….Wally world already has the market in a choke hold, now they selling booty,too? Wow who’dve thunk it :???:

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:34 pm

DIG THAT!!

I know exactly where sumter is! I spent most of my weekends there during my first 2 years of college, my high school sweethearts aunt lived there and she would come pick me up to get away from campus! Small world!

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:35 pm

@Sassy
Now it is truly a one stop shop. Amazing. Lol

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:36 pm

Sassy Me

I can’t remember exactly where, i just remember reading about it

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:37 pm

dig that I HATE SUMTER LOL I went to Morris for a yr and got on down the road a good school just not for me! Sumpter SUCKS! LMAO!

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:39 pm

Lady J the first time she came to get me and we kept going deeper into nowhere i was like wth but it was peaceful and away from the hustle and bustle of campus

Sassy Me :-)

February 18th, 2010
2:40 pm

I was on the run back then and hiding out in little teenie weenie town called Sumter.

When Walmart first blew-uptuated mymom was living in Summerville less that 5 mins away from one…she was hooked.

Lady J

February 18th, 2010
2:41 pm

girl smh @ that place…..lol

DIG THAT

February 18th, 2010
2:42 pm

@Lady J
I mean really sucks and I stuck out like a sore thumb in Sumter. I’m trying to be low-key and all of a sudden I was the talk of the town. It was ridiculous. Somehow I figured you went to Morris

PRINCESSNIK

February 18th, 2010
2:44 pm

Lady J… SC as a whole was a shock for me from the ABC with red dots closing at 7pm, til the stores still only being open from 1 to 5 on sunday, to the Geechie Dialect of the charleston area But I wouldn’t trade those 4 years for nothing!