Make An Investment
I was reading the always helpful Atlanta Bargain blog about online dating services. It got me thinking that I have never met a real life matchmaker in person. I’ve watched them in reality television, marveling at their proclivity to read into single people’s behavior (SPB). It is rather interesting how they correct the bad SPB (seemingly for the cameras), allowing them to attract the right type of people. Paying someone to do some of the “hunt for compatibility” leg work almost seems like a great investment.
In some cultures, parents arrange the marriages of their children. What would be the harm in paying for a similar “arrangement” from a professional? I seriously considered signing up for a professional matchmaking service because I am very curious about my “diagnosis”. Perhaps I have overlooked something that needs to be adjusted before I am truly open to meeting a potential Mr. Right. Hey, I’m wise, but I never claimed to have it all figured out!
I asked my personal “love squad” what they thought about this and I got varying opinions. I think the general consensus was it seemed “desperate” and unrealistic. I don’t agree with that at all. Then again, I am a supporter of internet dating.
Ms. Cash raises a great point when she asks, “is it a worthwhile investment or a wasted expense” to pay money to aid in the search for love? Why do so many people feel strange about spending money on matchmaking services or paying fees for online dating? Is it different from making an investment in gym memberships or the costs associated with grooming?
What are your thoughts about professional matchmakers? What would you want to ask them?
How much or how little should we invest in dating? Does “you get what you pay for” apply here?
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190 comments Add your comment
PRINCESSNIK
February 16th, 2010
3:04 pm
Melo my friend I wish i could say it was so simple both are recently divorced….forget it…….i’m not even trying to tap into their psyche it is what is
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 16th, 2010
3:23 pm
Sorry late into the conversation.
Personally I like eHarmony and Match. I’ve almost married two ladies I;’ve met on line, had almost no bad experiences, etc. BUT I always get to know them via email and phone calls before I ever ask them out. I watch for inconsistencies in what they say and write. If something does not smell right, I am gone. Met some real great ladies.
Funny Match story, found a gal on line that was my ex-wife’s roomate in college. An amazing thing had occurred, according to her age, she had somehow missed seven years and we were now seven years older than she was..strange
Lying about age is a definite turnoff…hellz tell me the truth, I am more interested in the face than the number.
i'm swiss
February 16th, 2010
3:43 pm
“If something does not smell right, I am gone.”
Words to live by, brother. Words to live by…
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
3:47 pm
You guys need to stop refreshing your screen to see what else has been posted and add to the convo…this is dying a painful, slow death!
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
3:50 pm
How about making an “investment” and post….haa haa haa, couldn’t resist!!
Melo
February 16th, 2010
3:51 pm
@swiss/Randy-t??
If something does not smell right, I am gone
Words to live by, brother
I know Randy is speaking figuratively and Swiss is thinking about the fish smell!
Professor
February 16th, 2010
3:53 pm
You guys need to stop refreshing your screen to see what else has been posted and add to the convo…this is dying a painful, slow death!
Leggs, you must have eyes in the back of your head? I was hitting F5, and your comment popped up!
Professor
February 16th, 2010
3:55 pm
Question: How many of you out there would relocate to be with your soulmate? If you met someone online and the chemistry was great would you move to be with that person, so that you could start a life together?
The reason I ask is because I know someone that is leaving GA and moving to NY (I think it is NYC) to be with her “soulmate.”
PRINCESSNIK
February 16th, 2010
3:57 pm
@ Leggs……………. this is dying a painful, slow death
started off slow too, i lurked a long time before i said anything oh well there is always tomorrow’s topic
Have a good evening!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 16th, 2010
4:04 pm
@Melo and Im Swiss
Literally OR figuratively. If I think something is wrong, I’m out of there. If something akin to the “outhouse door on a tuna boat”…I’d break the Olympic record.
i'm swiss
February 16th, 2010
4:04 pm
So, this seems like an appropriate time for a completely un-related comment…
Can I just say that Robin Thicke is giving hope to my people… that one day, we, too, can be smooth.
That dude sprung from the loins of quite possibly the whitest, nerdiest dude on earth (with the possible exception of this guy) — and yet he’s managed to break free from his stiff, awkward, whiteboy roots to produce a pretty darn good baby-making song… An inspiration, I tell you… 
kimmie
February 16th, 2010
4:13 pm
Professor – Regarding your move question – Yes, I would relocate, but not without a ring and a wedding date set. And we would have to be moving TOWARD something positive, like he has a great job opportunity. The company I work for is international, so I could possibly transfer.
This guy I dated and would have married moved back to his hometown of San Diego. When I talked to him in recent years, 10 years after our breakup, he said one big reason he did not give me a ring was because I said I would not leave ATL. I politely corrected him – told him I would have gladly relocated, but for 2 reasons #1 – No official proposal, with ring & date set AND #2 – He had no job & moved back in with his parents! Duh!!!
Melo
February 16th, 2010
4:17 pm
to the “outhouse door on a tuna boat”…I’d break the Olympic record.
@RANDY/SWISS??
thats why having ur too best eyes open when u go down there is very important!
and neva take extra flesh/muscle coverings on the actual kitty for granted.That funky smell may just be lurking under there…
the moment u flip that layer up to get to ur intended destination,the tip of ur tongue extendimng out, ready to do lick damage like a python……pheeeeeeeew..the pungent shiiiit smell hisses.str8 into ur face…
@Randy :arrrow: doing the summersault to the exit door
Professor
February 16th, 2010
4:20 pm
@Kimmie I agree I would have to have a ring and a wedding date set as well. I love to see things move forward and progression…I would not give up my life here without a ring and a date. The lady I mentioned is “sporting” a nice ring!
kimmie
February 16th, 2010
4:24 pm
Professor – Is she excited about moving? I would look at it as a new adventure!
Professor
February 16th, 2010
4:24 pm
@Swiss~it’s funny you mentioned Robin Thicke that is how I picture you in my head!
Mail call
i'm swiss
February 16th, 2010
4:27 pm
@ Prof — I actually don’t even know what the dude looks like, I just know he doesn’t sing like a white boy….
Though, if you want to get the real picture, you can find me on the MIA Facebook page. I should be fairly easy to spot… 
i'm swiss
February 16th, 2010
4:29 pm
Oh, and Melo — I’m speechless.
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
4:30 pm
Let’s play devil’s advocate…you’ve been given the ring and a date has been set. You relocate….3 months later you guys have broken up. A ring and a date doesn’t solidfy much. You got the ring and a date, how about marriage counseling. Some would use the ring and a date as the dangling carrot to get you only to find out later you or the relationship is not what was expected. On top of that, breaks the engagement and asks for the ring back. Then what???
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
4:31 pm
Robin Thicke looks just like his father, Alan Thicke!
Melo
February 16th, 2010
4:32 pm
Leggs??
u just have to take risks sometimes..leap of faith!
i'm swiss
February 16th, 2010
4:35 pm
“Robin Thicke looks just like his father, Alan Thicke!”
Oh… well, I guess it’s a good thing he can sing.
Professor
February 16th, 2010
4:35 pm
@Leggs I would keep the ring and waste some grits on him instead! just kidding…seriously I would not move without the ring, but I would have to have one to start transitioning to another state. I would have to find a job or two…(workaholic, so that will give me time to test the market and meet some folks in that city.
I would like to think I would take the risk and have faith.
kimmie
February 16th, 2010
4:42 pm
I would like to think I would take the risk and have faith.
Leggs – That is my take on it too. I guess hindsight is 20/20, because there are a few things I wish I had stepped out on faith for, not just for a dude, but other things. Like I had an opportunity to do an exchange student thing in London when I was in grad school. I didn’t do it because I would have had to quit my job & was scared I wouldn’t be able to find one when I got back. A few other things I wish I had done, but guess were not meant to be, but I try to have no regrets.
Mind you, if I am actually considering relocating from my beloved ATL for a dude, you best believe I really feel he is worth it & have complete faith in the situation. But stuff does happen – heck, we could end up breaking up right here in ATL. So, you gotta have faith & trust in your decisions.
Melo
February 16th, 2010
4:47 pm
“While such a paradigm shift may be a stochastic shock to systems representing a Tipping Point, going forward we’ll adapt to the externality.”
courtesy http://www.twitter.com/janewells
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
4:50 pm
Who wrote that, Dan???
Melo
February 16th, 2010
4:52 pm
when i read the article on cnbc,i was thinking about Dan actually!
Professor
February 16th, 2010
4:53 pm
Where is Dipper Dan?
Leggs
February 16th, 2010
4:54 pm
From my heart…life is hard, have fun, enjoy the people you spend quality time with and don’t sweat the little stuff because it really isn’t important. I speak about the silver lining a lot cuz I truly believe it. When things are going from bad to worse, try to find it because that’s when you’ll be able to smile to the other side of thru…
Nite!
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
4:55 pm
HI Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts) !!!!
THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW……….BETTA BOTTOM DOLLAR………..
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
4:59 pm
Princess: I would move to be with my soulmate provided I had a job lined up and could sell my house.
Randy: about the age thing. This cat lied about his age on the dating site I was. Turned out we are both alumni at the same college and he had me go to the alumni page to see his website.
This fool had the dates he graduated from college posted and I was able to see based on simple math how old he really was.Such a turn off! I hate liars!!1 he seemed like a cool dude too but if you can easily lie like that whatelse could he lie about.
HE GOT….LET GO!
Melo
February 16th, 2010
5:00 pm
nite nite all menless lurkers/blogettes..
will dream holding u in my arms,hope u do the same!
melo
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:04 pm
MELO: AIN’T YOU MARRIED?
Melo
February 16th, 2010
5:07 pm
@I am loved
crickets crickets
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:10 pm
LOL melo!!!
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:10 pm
crickets is what you hear in your bedroom!
LOL
:-O
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:11 pm
test:
:p
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:11 pm
:O
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 16th, 2010
5:12 pm
test:
:-O
I am loved
February 16th, 2010
5:22 pm
where did everybody go?
crickets crickets crickets