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Cupid’s Aftermath: Advice from The Love Squad

I hope you all survived the weekend! Some of you probably can relate to today’s topic. If it hasn’t happened to you, well, great, just consider yourselves prepared if it ever does:  You or your date under- or over-delivered on Valentine’s Day.  Right, so that’s awkward? The gifts/gestures you had are not even close to the same effort.  Now there’s like a cheap stuffed pink elephant in the room.

Should you address it or pretend it didn’t happen? How do you react to an over the top or dreadful gift/gesture from your Valentine?

Daniel, 27, Atlanta.:

“Probably better to address the issue. If you are ‘the scmhuck,’ you should probably acknowledge to your date that you didn’t make the day as special as you might have wanted. That shouldn’t be the determinant of everything. Honesty and a good effort going forward should go a long way.”

Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta.:

“Oh, my, this happened to me. We had only been dating a short time before V-Day. I played it casual (and assumed he was) by getting him something small and funny. I felt terrible he had spent a ton on me, and I had just gotten him a freakin’ cookie. I told him I loved the ring (which I did), but a few weeks later, I asked him to take it back and put the money in a savings account for our potential future.”

Martin, 40’sh, Atlanta:

“It’s easy to say that ‘It’s the thought that counts,’ but it can be quite awkward if one doesn’t appear to put in the time and effort of the other around Valentine’s Day. It should be addressed and discussed, and then both parties should move on. The person lacking effort on Valentine’s Day better prepare for a big comeback on the other’s birthday”

LaShonn, 39, Atlanta.:

“I’ve been there – on both ends. I’ve gone w-a-a-a-y overboard, and had someone else catch me off-guard and do the same. Looking back, I think it’s best to say, ‘This is really sweet, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Can we slow down a little?’ Everything in due time. You could pretend you weren’t offended or weirded out, but what good would that do?”

Oh, I could recount endless times a guy has left me speechless over gift selections.  Oddly enough, Valentine’s Day is about the only time I haven’t been in this awkward situation. I’m always the type to use humor, so, knowing me, I’d start clowning myself or make a tongue-in- cheek comment about the guy. What would you do?

When you think about it, it’s probably difficult for a new couple to aim for the exact same degree of efforts in gifts/gestures.

Do you think that unmatched efforts mean you are not feeling the same way about one another?  Is that a good time to have the talk?

What was the most inappropriate or outrageous gift you received from a date? How did you handle it?

It’s all love … links:

A Love Story: Love in the HOV lane

A Marriage Story: Cupid on duty at Rhodes Hall

Penguin Love: Love at the Atlanta Aquariam

337 comments Add your comment

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
8:12 am

Good morning!

I am whatever you say I am (trying to recover from having my heart stomped on)

February 15th, 2010
8:22 am

The way I see it, as long as someone says “happy valentines day ” to me or gets me a card then that’s not going underboard. I would be happy with just that.
If nothing was mentioned or not even a card, that would suck!!!

Being that I’m single and this is my 2nd valentines alone, I made sure I at least took myself out.
Dinner was fun but who am I kidding, coming home to an empty house sucked.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
8:36 am

Good morning,

About the worst gift i’ve ever received was no gift, card, handshake or anything. lol After that year happened, my ex would always at least get me a card or make one. I think all those baskets with teddy bears and chocolate are really for high schoolers…unless it’s a homemade basket of things I specifically like lol

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
8:37 am

@I am – I feel you on coming home an empty house… well, my house empty, my kid was there… but my bed was :( I went to Church and then took myself to a movie (saw Valentines Day – real cute movie). Thats it. Real blaaaaaaaaaaah….

kinderbabe

February 15th, 2010
8:40 am

good morning everyone!
@Peach…i saw that movie too. it was great! i really enjoyed it.:) they had a great cast

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
8:42 am

I can’t even wrap my head around over-delivering on V-day.

@i am whatever ~ I feel ya! However, as the day progressed, I forgot it was even V-day. I was emersed in cooking a thank-you dinner for my co-worker that has been picking me up for the past 3 weeks. That made me feel good. My ex called and wished me a happy v-day and that call pissed me off!

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
8:54 am

@kinder – hey girl! Yup, it was well worth the $6 I paid to go see it :) I stan for Jennifer Garner so she was my big draw, but Jessica Biel stole the show to me. They definitely should have had more of her in it.

Lol @ Leggs saying the phone called pissed her off!!! Been there – smh

CMS

February 15th, 2010
8:59 am

How can a phone call piss you off on V-Day? If you have caller ID and you know you’re not feeling the caller why answer?

kinderbabe

February 15th, 2010
9:04 am

@Peach…i agree that Jessica Biel could have been in the movie a little more. she was good! Jennifer Garner was awesome as well…and so was ole Ashton.:) I almost forgot about him being an actor since he’s become Mr. Demi Moore…lol

Booger Casserole with Potato

February 15th, 2010
9:11 am

“I am whatever you say I am (trying to recover”

You should have gone out with me…Happy Valentines day!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
9:22 am

CMS, I answer cuz it’s my child’s father and he could be calling for her!

CMS

February 15th, 2010
9:24 am

Then have her answer the phone.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
9:27 am

Worst gift I ever received for V-day was a collection of massage oils from a guy that I had only gone out with a couple of times. That killed any potential of having a relationship with him for me.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
9:29 am

@I am

This year was a boo-less Valentine for me and I refused to allow myself to feel all sad & blue. I planned some activities for myself to do that helped me not even once think about not being coupled up. Friday, of course was shut down due to the weather but it didn’t go by without some small fun. After playing in the snow a bit, some of the fam and a friend hung out at the house and took it upon ourselves to have a little karoake session. Boy I didn’t realize how out of shape I was until I tried to keep up with “My Humps, my lovely lady lumps!” lol. Saturday finally got my hair done, ran some errands, then went to Passion of Poetry. Afterward, got a bite to eat at Stats…got approached for first time by someone outside of my race…WOW! This is definitely a first. Sunday went to the movies to see Valentines Day starring Ashton Kutcher, then went to Uptown Comedy Club last night….needless to say i’m struggling a little this morn.

P.S My cousin saw a dude she knows that’s married out with another female, NOT his wife. :shock:

abc

February 15th, 2010
9:30 am

I figure if I keep it in the hundreds it’s fine as far as not going too far overboard and not coming through with enough. If she isn’t worth a heart-shaped box of Godiva, a couple hundred on a trinket and some fine dining, then she’s not really valentine-type material, is she? As far as reciprocal for the guy — what’s that about. Guys get squat on Valentine’s Day, and who cares about that? Not the guy.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
9:32 am

@CMS, she can’t answer if she’s sleeping!

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
9:33 am

worse v-day gift was no gift, no nadda…..even the buddy knows to call and say “happy v-day”

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
9:36 am

V-day this year went pretty much how I had planned. We went to church then to breakfast then home to do pretty much nothing all day. We watched the NBA All-star competitions that had been recorded on the DVR from Saturday. We watched a little of the Olympics. We took a nap. We watched a movie.

That was pretty much it. It was a nice and cozy afternoon leading into a nice and relaxing evening.

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
9:40 am

@abc – If I were in a serious dating relationship I wouldn’t think this holiday is all about me. Thats pretty d@mn selfish. So if you — or any man– didn’t get anything from someone whom you considered your Valentine I don’t think thats saying much of her.

Valentines day is for women AND men. It’s not like Mothers Day or Fathers Day which are very gender specific and it’s clearly defined who the day was meant for. I do think it’s unfair that men have a tendency to get the short end of the stick on this day but it wouldn’t be that way in mine.

@Leggs – why are you even bothering to entertain that fool???

abc

February 15th, 2010
9:45 am

A man can expect a card. Otherwise, I doubt hardly any men receive much of anything in the way of gifts, and I’d really doubt that any men care. So, what gifts did yall give to men for Valentine’s this year?

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
9:50 am

@abc For any Valentine’s that I was with someone, I’ve always gotten the man a gift…whether it was a romantically set dinner at home, a basket that I made myself, cologne, undies, clothes, shoes, gift card etc….This year I’m not in a relationship so I didn’t get anyone anything. However, I was surprised to have received flowers from a gentleman i’m dating. I wasn’t expecting to get anything from him so now i’m wondering if i’m obligated to reciprocate the gesture?

Tweti

February 15th, 2010
9:53 am

I just stated dating a new guy in December and we agreed to keep Valentine’s low key. He gave me a dozen roses and chocolate covered strawberries. I gave him a shirt & jeans, and a card. We were both pleasantly surprised.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
9:57 am

@ImAPeach ~ LOL, for fun!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
9:58 am

I’d take that “low key” any day! Good for the both of you!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:00 am

abc, I got my husband a shirt. But you are right about the day being more for women than for men. When I do get him a gift it never compares to what he does for me but like you said it’s not really that big of a deal for him.

One year I did go all out for him with a limo ride, spa treatment, a new suit and a nice dinner. He enjoyed it and I think mostly because it was all a surprise. But I know he would have still been okay either way.

mqew

February 15th, 2010
10:03 am

My SO is the WORST gift giver. He wasn’t always, when he/we were broke, the gifts were on point. Some flowers (back then they were nice as it was the newness), and a poem, or he’d sing a song he’d written to a familiar melody, or give me a card with a poem. He was always a little ‘artisty’. But when he finally got some loot SMDH

One Valentines, I think it was 2006 when those RAZR’s first came out, he got me the hot pink one (and paid a nauseating $400), some pink flowers delivered to my office, and some other pink crap, and lastly A PINK LEATHER JACKET :-| of which I never wore…. Talking about over the top…

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:06 am

LOL mqew. Is pink your favorite color?

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:06 am

@mqew ….a pink leather jacket

i got a pair of pink timberland boots one vday :-| , i wore them once, i have small feet and they were just sooooooooo heavy!

mqew

February 15th, 2010
10:08 am

Peach404 – My SO could give a flying fig if I gave him something or not for Vday…. or any holiday for that matter…

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
10:08 am

Morning Gang!

Our V-day was great! It was Love Sunday at church. Then we dropped the kids off over their cousins & went to see Valentine’s Day at Backlot(Fork & Screen) where I got a delicious Pomgranate Martini with my dinner while we watched the movie! SO gave me the most heartwarming card, with a gift cert. for a mani/pedi. I gave him some chocolate wine(delish) & his favorite chocolate candy and a card. His kids gave me a cute little stuffed puppy. I gave his kids some cool v-day mugs and heartshaped marshmellows and a few chocolates.

We came back home & watched Amazing Race & chillaxed!

Tweti

February 15th, 2010
10:11 am

@ Leggs – yes, our “low key” was pretty nice. He bought me a Christmas gift and I didn’t get him anything. To top that off, my birthday was 12/27 and he took me out for a nice dinner, as well. So, I felt it was time for me to deliver on V/day! I honestly wasn’t expecting anything from him, though.

def

February 15th, 2010
10:13 am

Enjoyed being “snowed in” for the Valentine’s Day weekend.
I “got some” twice!

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
10:16 am

Someone mentioned earlier that the vday stuff sold in the stores is mostly for kids and teenagers – and I agree. However, if someone go that for me, I’d still be thankful. I’d prefer something that took a little more thought than 5 minute on the vday aisle in Wal-Mart in between you picking up your shaving cream and a pizza.

Question: Seeing as how vday fell on a Sunday – did anybody accept a Friday or Saturday night date b/c the other person wasn’t available Sunday? Did that raise up any flags? If the person you were dating had plans Saturday night… did that give you cause for a pause?

@abc – I’m single so I didn’t have to get anyone anything.

@kimmie – did you like the movie???

abc

February 15th, 2010
10:17 am

A gift of a shirt is nice, if somewhat ubiquitous and a little bit puzzling to me sometimes. I can’t pick out my own shirts?! But then, I don’t mind wearing what she gets for me. I haven’t bought myself a shirt for several years now, because my baby keeps me so well supplied. In fact, my closet is bustin out, I have so many shirts.

mqew

February 15th, 2010
10:17 am

Raqi – yes, pink is my fav color…. but uuummm leather jacket, yeah I don’t think so.

He tried, I guess :-)

Oh, I remember these earrings he bought for me. Diamond and sapphire dangly earrings. Uuuummm, NO. I can’t stand dangly. Made him take them back….. Pointed him in the direction of Lia Sophia :lol:

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:19 am

kimmie, that sounds nice.

It was a good day for relaxing for us. With the fireplace burning and the house was nice and quiet. I don’t think the phone rang even once the entire day other than when my oldest called to tell me happy v-day. We sat on the couch while the baby played down on the floor. When she was ready to take a nap the three of went and laid on the bed.

My other son did his own thing downstairs playing video games. He watched the NBA All-star Saturday so he was not interested in watching with us Sunday. I don’t know if he caught the competitions that aired Sunday or not.

Tweti

February 15th, 2010
10:20 am

The gift of a shirt is our way of giving you what we would like to see you in…has nothing to do with you not being able to pick your own. At least that’s my motivation when I buy clothes for a man.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
10:21 am

ImAPeach404 : I wanted to see V day movie but I didn’t go.
didn’t want to cry in the theater. Had been crying the whole weekend.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
10:22 am

Leggs : I texted the EX happy V day and I was ignored.

:-(

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:23 am

@ abc : A gift of a shirt is nice, if somewhat ubiquitous and a little bit puzzling to me sometimes. I can’t pick out my own shirts?!

abc when i’m dating a guy i buy shirts and undies, i’m the type of woman that would rather just buy what i’d like to see him in instead of whining about his choices. Also, i’m all about saving money my last guy loved POLO, but i could find him REALLY nice POLO like 3 shirts 2 pair of boxers and 3 pair of socks, for the price he would have been okay paying for one POLO shirt,:)

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
10:24 am

Booger Casserole with Potato : i appreciate the fact you would have gone out with me but try to take this too hard:

I can’t get down with anyone with boogers in their name.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:24 am

LOL abc. I originally bought him a back massager that he liked from Brookstone. But he hinted at a shirt that he liked at Johnston & Murphy so I got that. I buy him shirts all the time. I know the brands that he likes and I know his style. The only thing I really don’t buy for him is pants. He likes to try those on before purchasing. I bought him that suit one year but other than that only shirts, sweaters and jackets. And the necessary undies as needed.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:26 am

@I am ~ why’d you set yourself up like that???

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:27 am

@i am ~ btw, you can’t heal if you keep pour salt on the wound!!!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:27 am

Tweti that is true. However, in this instance I got him what he wanted. You can never go wrong getting the person what they ask for.

He likes the massager. He liked it when I tried it out on him in the store and he liked it when I used it on yesterday. So I know he would have been happy with that being the gift that I chose for him.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:27 am

that would be “pouring salt”

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
10:27 am

SlimOne…just call me Nicety! : I’m glad you enjoyed your V day.
Dude out with another not his wife? Wow!
:O

Tweti

February 15th, 2010
10:29 am

@ Raqi – my comment was a response to abc’s 10:17.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
10:30 am

Leggs: I went a whole 2 weeks not talking to dude.
IDK what it is about him, can’t get him out of my head.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:31 am

Tweti, I know. I was just agreeing with you and kinda answering to abc’s comment at the same time.

Tweti

February 15th, 2010
10:32 am

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:32 am

I am whatever, is this guy your first?

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:33 am

@i am ~ it’s not going to be easy, but apparently you have to. 2 weeks is a long time when you’re pining for someone. Now, go another 2 weeks! Befor you know it, some months have passed.

el

February 15th, 2010
10:34 am

oh please people. it’s a hallmark holiday and nothing more. why get all twisted up over what you did or didn’t get. if you are in a relationship and you need a fake holiday to determine the health of your relationship, then you have more issues than what you did or didn’t get or where you went out to eat. i didn’t get flowers yesterday and i didn’t care. what meant more to me were the ones i got 2 weeks ago when i was having a really bad week. he sent those because he cared and not because they were expected.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:36 am

I am whatever, stop entertaining your thoughts about this guy. When you start to think about him or something reminds you have him find something else to do or think about. Like Leggs said before you know it you will have forgotten about him. But if you keep entertaining the thoughts and stewing in it you are only making yourself miserable.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:36 am

@ I am~ as Leggs said it definately won’t be easy, and right now you may not be able to see it, but quite possibly it was for the best. Just remember to thank God for the doors he closes as well as the ones he opens, cause sometimes we don’t have sense enough to close them ourselves

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:38 am

Anybody here “twisted up” over V-day??? Didn’t think so.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:39 am

Leggs, I’m not twisted up…lol, i spent the afternoon with my mom and my aunt watching movies and that was fine with me.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
10:39 am

Peach – Yes, I really enjoyed the movie! SO told me that all the reviews for it were bad, but I figured all of those big-name actors would not sign up for something that was complete crap. I ignore critics mostly anyway.

But yes, I found it lighthearted and entertaining. Especially since we watched The Hurt Locker the day before, which was deep but a bit depressing.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
10:40 am

I am…do you like to read? Maybe reading a juicy novel will help take your mind into a world of make believe, at least until you’re done with the book, to help take your mind off of EXman. Or what about friends and family? Or how bout a pet if you don’t already have one…they are always happy to see you when you come home, so that could help alleviate the sadness of coming home alone. Just some suggestions

mqew

February 15th, 2010
10:40 am

For our yesterday, he wanted to do everything I would normally do on a Sunday for me. So he helped me wash clothes (half-way) and cooked Sunday dinner (half of it) and take care of the lil monster man (mostly).

We watched Couples Retreat which was cute….

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:41 am

Anybody here “twisted up” over V-day??? Yep we did.

Oh, I thought you said twisted up ON V-day. LOL No, not twisted up over the day.

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
10:41 am

kimmie I enjoyed the movie also…it was neat how the characters were linked.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
10:42 am

My SO could give a flying fig if I gave him something or not for Vday…. or any holiday for that matter…

me 2

Morning!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:43 am

Shet it up, Raqi! Too funny!

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:44 am

melo! do tell, did you take our advice?

abc

February 15th, 2010
10:45 am

St. Valentine’s Day as an official holiday originates from the Roman Empire, around 496 AD or so. About a hundred years before that was a priest named Valentine that performed weddings for soldiers in defiance of orders from Emperor Claudius. Certainly, the holiday is exploited by the likes of card and candy manufacturers, but they didn’t invent it.

You are what you say you are, not what somebody else says you are. Stop moping. Life’s too short.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:46 am

Melo ~ did you find that out on V-day cuz you seemed to have been a little worried last week?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:46 am

mqew, I heard Couple’s Retreat was not that good so I haven’t bothered to watch it yet. Yesterday evening we watched The Time Traveler’s Wife. That was good. The Man even said he enjoyed it even though it was sort of a chick flick.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
10:46 am

mqew – We watched Couple’s Retreat too, on Friday night! Yes, it was cute!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
10:47 am

Stop moping. Life’s too short.

YEP YEP!!!

Melo

February 15th, 2010
10:50 am

do tell, did you take our advice?

NO!

But i will make it up to her at some point.She took me/us out on saturday instead.

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
10:50 am

@I am – I’m sorry you were so sad this weekend. I truly mean that…
I think the movie might make you laugh. There was only one part where I got teary eyed and it didn’t have anything to do with a romantic relationship. It’s really good :)

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
10:51 am

As for “Valentine’s Day” the movie, I am somewhat puzzled by it because of all the famous faces. Is there enough air time for anyone to really have a starring role? I don’t you all to tell the movie because I don’t want anyone to give it away for others but that’s my thoughts on it.

My friends and I may go see it Wednesday during our night out since you all say it is good.

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
10:53 am

Morning All,

I’ve never been the one to go over or underboard for V-Day.It wasn’t about the gifts or any of that just how you felt about a person. I never put much thought into the day. Tried going out a few times before with teh Wifey and she flat out just didn’t want to deal with the hustle/bustle. I have made it a point in the past few yrs to just write a love letter to her. I found out she looks forward to that more than anything.

As for me I’d prefer not to receive anything for V-Day, Birthday, Christmas or whenever. If she thinks I need or want something then just go get it. I would probably need it anyway if not for the holiday.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
10:54 am

Good Morning good people. Seems like mixed reviews on V-Day. No big deal. And I do have to say my woman had me watching Couples Retreat last night too. Lol

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
10:57 am

@ Melo……. But i will make it up to her at some point.She took me/us out on saturday instead.

aww man you had us pulling out the “all-star” plays and you didn’t even use them LOL

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
10:57 am

@Raqi – It’s really good! And yes, everyone gets enough time on screen. And it’s not one of those situations where you’re like “Oh why did they switch to this story – I like xyz’s storyline better” Each storyline is really good and everybody intertwines. Jessica Biel is a trip!!!

@Melo – what advice was everyone giving you last week???

@I am – chile, i know you’re probably reading everybodys “getting over it” advice and rolling your eyes. Not that it’s not valid or given out of concern but it’s just not whats going to make you feel better. We’ve all been there and know the only true healing lies in time. Thats it. It simply takes time…

ImAPeach404

February 15th, 2010
10:58 am

@Willie – How nice. I LOVE letters!!!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
10:59 am

@Melo. You got the rest of the year bruh. Don’t sweat it.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
11:00 am

Dig that you are right it’s even better when its an out of the blue just because kind of deal ;)

Melo

February 15th, 2010
11:02 am

@PRINCESSNIK

I really think she likes that play u ans SlimOne gave me and i appreciate it..i got really sick on satrday and was energyless and i cldnt pull it out the way i wld have liked,but trust,i had that play in sights on friday and early saturday.
I got it on cue for a another time.

what advice was everyone giving you last week???

@ImAPeach404

cheap vday play for Queen!

i'm swiss

February 15th, 2010
11:09 am

Morning, blog denizens. Hope everyone had a great weekend — definitely perfect weather for snuggling up with your Valentine…

On topic: Not much to say about the disproportionate gifts issue — never really even thought about it, honestly. I’ve always pretty much felt (as abc and others have noted) that V-day is really more for women & I’ve frankly never really expected (nor wanted) much of anything in the way of gifts in return.

Luckily, all the women I’ve ever been involved with on V-day have been more impressed by the thought put into the gift than any material aspects of the gift. So, one year it may be diamonds from Tiffany, while another year it may be a romantic dinner at home by the fire with a nice bottle of wine, but in either case, I just try to make her feel like the day is all about her & everything seems to work out just fine.

Incidentally, this year was flowers, a nice card and a romantic dinner at home by the fire & Mrs. Swiss was quite happy (and so, in turn, was I);-)

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:09 am

@Princess

That’s how I like to do it. Out the blue is always the best. Wait til 3 weeks from now and get her some flowers and when she asks what are these for just say it’s Kermit the Frog Day. Here you go.. I love you LMAO!!!

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
11:16 am

Raqi I didn’t think Couples Retreat was funny at all. Thumbs down for me.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
11:17 am

Dig That: I love it! LOL I have a friend and we don’t do bdays, vday, Christmas i mean sure we wish each other a happy bday, and a merry christmas, and he called to tell me happy vday but if we do anything for each other its not on a designated day unless “because i felt like it day” is a holiday :)

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:19 am

@Slim Maybe you got to be half tipsy because it had a couple funny parts. But hard for me to judge chick flicks tho.

Professor

February 15th, 2010
11:22 am

Hola!

V-Day weekend was a blast. Saturday night we went out to dinner and had a wonderful time. Good food…good fun and plenty of laughs. Sunday we stayed in and chilled out…in the end I did not fry my lobster tails, but I did do some other seafood dishes. We just ate and watched the all star game.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:23 am

Leggs : thanks for the encouragement
Raqi: no not the first and hopefully not the last.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
11:25 am

I agree that gifts to show love and appreciation on any given day is super nice and love receiving them. But I do have to chuckle when I hear people saying it as a rebuttal statement especially around valentine’s day.

How many of you feel or would feel the same if your s/o didn’t acknowledge the day with you on your birthday, Christmas, mother’s (if applicable)? Would you be okay with them saying I am not acknowledging this day by getting you anything because I give you nice flowers or a card “just because” two or three times a year?

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
11:25 am

Dig That I would have to be high out of my mind to get a good laugh out of that movie. Those days are over for me, but after seeing it had me wondering: Where da purp at…kush even? :mrgreen:

Professor

February 15th, 2010
11:26 am

@Leggs…I laughed when you said you did not like your ex calling wishing you happy v-day. I had a couple fools call and wish me happy v-day grrrrrr :evil:

Question: Do we have any new engagements? Did anyone get a ring? If you did not get a ring and thought you might are you mad?? For all my lurkers out there please jump in!

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
11:28 am

On a side note one of my single buddies called me this morning telling me about his V-Day night out. According to him it was a free for all with the single ladies. Said it was like the “Draft”. Couldn’t help but laugh at him.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:29 am

SlimOne…just call me Nicety! : thanks for the suggestions.
My son is my pet.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:30 am

@Slim
Actually now that you mention it. No wonder it was funny to me. Purp right here. Lol I guess I can’t mention the funny parts as not to spoil it for those planning to watch buttttt….. Especially when he showed with Lavataneishaqua to a dang couples retreat. Too funny baby

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
11:32 am

Thanks Peachy. I’ll try to check it out this week.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:33 am

Leggs: if I am supposed to be with someone knew, I’m going to do the new guy a favor.
I’m going to make sure that I am completely healed and that ex is out of my system before I get involved with a new dude(if meant for me to be with someone—situation seems bleek)

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:33 am

typo: meant new

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
11:33 am

Slim, yeah that’s what I figured. I don’t know, maybe I will catch it when it comes on cable for free.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
11:37 am

@ Raqui~How many of you feel or would feel the same if your s/o didn’t acknowledge the day with you on your birthday, Christmas, mother’s (if applicable)? Would you be okay with them saying I am not acknowledging this day by getting you anything because I give you nice flowers or a card “just because” two or three times a year?

In an ideal world, you’d have the best of both worlds, holiday/bday gifts and just because gifts. I am not in committed relationship so the arrangement my friend-guy (not to be confused with boyfriend)and I have is okay with me. Every person is different therefore every relationship is different. I have to say I favor the gift that you just heard me mention, not necessarily ask for but just say oh that’s nice or i wouldn’t mind having that then you just get it because you know i had my eye on it.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:37 am

ImAPeach404 : the part that hurts the most is I honestly believe that GOD doesn’t want me to be with anyone.
It hurts.

I feel like it is Karma for all the wrong doing I did in my teens and twenties.
I’ve made amends for my wrongs and I’ve learned how to treat guys better.
When will the hurting stop?
Am I still being punished?
Again, I am so sorry for the way I treated people when I was young.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:38 am

@Professor
I did have a friend that called me last night and said the dude she has been with about 3 months showed up with an engagement ring. He was the living room waiting on her to come back with an answer and she was in the bathroom calling me asking what she should do. A little too early don’t ya think

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:39 am

I don’t think 3 months is too early.
It’s all based on quality not quantity.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
11:40 am

Raqi – To your 11:25, I am so GLAD somebody finally said it! All this “I show you I love you all the year, I don’t need V-day to do it” mess is such bull to me!

Let me put it like I told my boss when we were discussing it: If you are not showing your love & affection for me the other 364 days of the year, then you don’t have to worry about V-day!

Yes, I love and appreciate anything my SO takes the time and money to give me at any time of the year. I do the same for him and I know he appreciates it. But using it as a rebuttal for later is just tired!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
11:41 am

@i am ~ you also have to encourage yourself. Each time you want to text him, pinch yourself, get a glass of water and sit your arse down (said w/luv)!

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
11:43 am

@ I am, you have to truely forgive yourself for whatever you did in your past. I mean i feel ya, hanging out with mostly guys most of my life made me feel like a “teflon don” i had a peek into the innnermost workings of the dude psyche and i used it to my benefit on every occassion but as the saying goes its all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. Then when I finally met what i thought was “the one” the game flipped on me and i had to do the tighten up and quick!

“the part that hurts the most is I honestly believe that GOD doesn’t want me to be with anyone

you have to accept that sometimes God is going to say NO! and sometimes he is going to say not right now, apparently you still have some healing to do from your past so its possible that a s/o is not what you need right now. I been there/am there but life does go on……….

SlimOne...just call me Nicety!

February 15th, 2010
11:44 am

Dig That…thanks for sharing that with me. So now I can never trust a review on a movie from you again. :lol:

Melo

February 15th, 2010
11:44 am

Am I still being punished?
Again, I am so sorry for the way I treated people when I was young.

@I am whatever??

gerl…why all the low self esteem u pouting??

why shld u be punished anyway or why do u view it as such??
Did u murder somebody in ur youth and go scot free?? What did u use to do to them guys??

All this haranguing and angst and pity party simply coz u are not under smobody??

Geeeeerl please!!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:44 am

@I am
Out of 3 months she said they have only been on a date maybe 10-12 times and she wasn’t sure about him because he has feminine qualities and his roommate is gay, but swears he is not(it’s possible but suspect). I think there is a lot to sort out before you jump into MARRIAGE. In the military I used to see guys propose after a week. In a week you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. I’m not sure bout that one.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:45 am

Thanks Leggs: fugg him

Dig that: That was tacky of your friend to leave dude hanging while she ran off to call a friend. If she felt unsure she should be telling dude that, not hiding in the bathroom calling a friend.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
11:49 am

I am – I used to think I was being punished for something I did wrong because I just seemed to be unlucky in love, so I know how you feel. But I don’t believe God works that way, especially if you’ve asked for forgiveness and you are truly sorry.

I had to realize that I was beating up on myself and I had to stop. While I’ve always tried to treat everyone how I would want to be treated, I’ve made mistakes like everyone else.

God has forgiven you and I bet others in your past have forgiven you. Now you have to forgive yourself. And realize you are just as deserving of a fullfilling relationship like anyone else.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
11:51 am

@ Kimmie in ref to your 11:40,

I don’t think people are necessarily using that as a rebuttal, cause they didn’t get much. Some people just don’t feel the need for someone to go all out on just one day of the year. If the person is showing the love 365 then i’m not hurt if i don’t get the biggest flower arrangment delivered to my job, matter of fact my mom made my dad stop buying her those expensive roses, she was like there are other things you can buy me that will last more than a week. I guess that’s the same way i see it………………..

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
11:54 am

keep repeating that and you’ll be fine. As stated, time will heal all your pain. Remember, you have to go through to get to….

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
11:56 am

Kimmie: how do you know whether or not God wants us to be with someone?

Someone once told me that if God didn’t want that for me he wouldn’t have put the desire in my heart.
IDK

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
11:57 am

@I am
I think she got caught so off guard so she panicked. She has been thru that before and seemed like deja vu.

@Princess
Mom is smart. Put that money on the light bill

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
11:58 am

I believe he put the desire element there, but you picked the person to be desirious of.

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
12:01 pm

Darling Nikki – My wifey agrees with your 11:51

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
12:02 pm

@I am
With that thinking it might not be God’s will but your own intervention that keeps you single. I was the worst toward women forever. Player beyond belief and no regard. God has the power to change all circumstances and situations. Snap out of it. This is your time to learn to truly love yourself so you will be so ready when he sends you someone to love.

Professor

February 15th, 2010
12:04 pm

DIG THAT three months is soon coupled by the down low behavior. I know of an alleged straight guy years ago had a gay guy for his roommate…my friends and I wondered about him. Not long ago I heard that some gay guy said he was tired of being a secret and him and dude dealt with each other. So I don’t think I would trust that living arrangement.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:05 pm

Dig: Why be a player?

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
12:07 pm

Professor the situation in your 12:04 sounds like something right out of an E. Lynn Harris novel…….

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:07 pm

Dig that: Judging by who a person’s roommate is is not reason to think that dude may be on the low.
If her instincts are telling her something is up she should listen.

Professor

February 15th, 2010
12:12 pm

@I am ~ you might want to ask God to give you the ability to love and to make you lovable. That Prayer goes a long ways, especially when you start working on yourself and saying your affirmations.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
12:15 pm

Princess – What you said is very practical and makes perfect sense. I actually feel the same way. The mere fact that my SO & I do so much for each other the other days makes it crazy for him to put $80 into some roses for v-day. I’m okay with a card, because when I really needed that GPS, & it was not anywhere near a holiday or my b-day, he got it for me.

The thing is, it’s been my observation, that the folk that buck on V-day so much really are using it as rebuttal. If you’re doing what you need to do the other days, fine. A lot of times it’s how you start out, too. If you start going over the top for v-day & Christmas and it’s wearing you out, have a talk with you SO about it. If you don’t chose to celebrate vday at all, be upfront about it!

Some people also just don’t know how to live, and court, within their means. They are trying to live up to someone else’s standards. Trying to keep up with the Jones, not realizing the Jones are broke too! Michael Baisden had a show on where he took this survey. He asked women whether they would rather have a nice engagement ring or use the money for a downpayment on a house. My question was, since when did there have to be a choice? What’s wrong with getting a ring AND a house within your means? Folks in the past did it!

Professor

February 15th, 2010
12:15 pm

@Princessnik…the funny thing is his gay roommate occurred here in GA, and since he was not from GA we were like maybe that is the only person he knew at the time. Fast forward when we heard about the gay dude he dealt with…he was living in a different area, and another gay dude! Straight crazy!

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:16 pm

DIG THAT??

I wld panick too if a chic starts talking babies and pressing me for marriage after 3 months.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:18 pm

If you are not showing your love & affection for me the other 364 days of the year, then you don’t have to worry about V-day!

kimmie Exactly. I don’t hear folks saying that they are okay not getting a gift for Christmas just because their S/O did something nice for them a week before. It’s only on Valentine’s Day that you hear that statement.

Princess what I am saying is why is Valentine’s Day any different or less important than the other days that we do things for our mates? My husband and I do nice things all the time for each other. But neither of us have expressed the sentiment that an acknowledgement on our birthday was not all that important because we do nice things all the time. If Valentine’s is just a day then so are all the other holidays and special days that we acknowledge.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:21 pm

cause they didn’t get much

And Princess no one is saying that. Let me ask you this, if you S/O got you that big bundle of roses for your birthday or Christmas would you feel the same way about them? Or would you just say thank you and be happy?

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
12:22 pm

@Melo
Exactly. That is what she did. Panicked

@Professor
I told her that is too much suspicious behavior. Would you wanna be married to this guy only for him to jump out the closet 2 years and 2 kids later and all the signs were there. It happened to another good friend of ours and that is why she ran in the bathroom to call me. Not to mention I met her dude one time and looked like he either eyeliner on or just took it off. LMAO!!!!

i'm swiss

February 15th, 2010
12:22 pm

D@mn @ DIG THAT’s friend. Yeah, that definitely smacks of a “play-action” proposal. Dude may be just trying to freeze the defense to open up the deep ball to a tight end, if you know what I’m sayin’…. :lol:

Though, I do agree that the phone-a-friend move was uncalled-for. If you have to use a lifeline to come up with your answer, that should pretty much tell you what your answer needs to be… :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:22 pm

Princess: Thanks for the prayer. I’m going to try that

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:25 pm

If my Oueen “only??” said,”happy birthday” on my birthday and kept it moving, i wldnt be mad or expect anything more really,just as I said,”happy vday” to her, whilst we were still snuggled up in bed on sunday.

Its no biggie..

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:28 pm

just trying to freeze the defense to open up the deep ball to a tight end

@Swiss.. good analogy altho in this case,the freeze attempt is proly the dude’s suspicious behavior and rooming with flaming dude..so to keep qstions at bay,the gerl will be,”oh,he proposed,so he str8!”

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:28 pm

And just to make my point a little plainer Christmas, birthdays, mother’s day are all only just one-day-out-of-the-year also.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:30 pm

Honestly for VDay: I would prefer the simple
here are some things that would blow me away:

1)my room decorated with rose petals on the bed, candles lit, bubble bath, and of course some sort of alcoholic beverage on ice :-)

2) a handmade card (bonus if crayons were used)

3)A homemade Italian meal (complete with salad and garlic bread)

4) if dude can sing – Him singing me a song he made just for me

5) A poem he wrote

6) or anything that he created himself that took time and effort. It doesn’t have to require money. Simple things mean the most to me.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:30 pm

Of couse…I would have to have a man first for those things to be done.
:-(

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:30 pm

Oh yeah, I forgot about anniversaries. Only once a year.

i'm swiss

February 15th, 2010
12:31 pm

Melo — It’s my one & only talent: You give me any life situation & I can give you a sports analogy. :lol:

Professor

February 15th, 2010
12:33 pm

@DIG THAT! Not to mention I met her dude one time and looked like he either eyeliner on or just took it off. LMAO!!!!

Dude sounds like he is playing both positions. If I suspected that from a guy I would leave him…eyeliner…gay roommate…WTH he would have to go and I would give him a MAC gift card on his way out the door.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:35 pm

@rRaqi
Christmas is seasonal…its a whole late december/early January period/season.

Mothers and birfdays..yeah,one day stuff but birthdays are more personal no wonder the personal attn.

Valentine is commercial extortion

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
12:36 pm

I am – Those simple things are the best, especially coming from someone you KNOW loves and cares for you!

It’s sad when the only way some people can operate is to lead with their wallet instead of their heart!

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:37 pm

Simple things mean the most to me.

@I am whatever??

how about Waffle house?? Simple enough for u?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:38 pm

I am whatever, you bring about a point that I know many do not realize. Those things that we call simple actually require more effort and thought than a high dollar going overboard gift. Those gifts take more time to come up with. Cooking a dinner while we all say is a simple gift, takes more effort and time than making a reservation and showing up. So it is in fact those “simple” gifts that are huge.

So while we say “keep it simple” we are often asking for more and we don’t realize it. Buying a card is simple. Creating and illustrating a personal card is takes more work. So when you S/O take you out to celebrate the day that is quite a simple task. If he cooks, lay out the rose petals and create the ambiance not simple at all.

I love it all.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
12:41 pm

Melo, while seasonal the gift exchange only happens that one day.

Actually my husband and I did do 12 days ’til Christmas gifts one year but that was out of the ordinary. Some different that we probably will not do again for many, many years.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:43 pm

@ Melo: I’m not a fan of waffle house, too salty.
I would prefer if he did something simple like make pancakes with a smiley face.
I would do something special for him too.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
12:44 pm

@Professor
He is definitely playing both sides. Women can’t hardly tell these days but when you got clues and hints falling from everywhere then you should be able to say without even paying attention.

@i’m swiss
You said it bruh. This dude is off his rocker.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
12:45 pm

I would give him a MAC gift card on his way out the door.

Priceless Professor!

Dig – Why was she even dating a dude that was so “questionable”? I guess that’s why my friends used to be on me about making snap judgements about dudes, but stuff like that I see right away & don’t waste my time. No, we probably would have never made it to date 1, much less date 10 or 12!

Professor

February 15th, 2010
12:46 pm

I think a lot of folks get wrapped up in the big gifts and the Hollywood fairytale. Every year is not going to be big and grand that is reality. In fact, what if you and that person get married and fast- forward 35 years together. There will probably be times that the money is not there, the energy is not there, or you all just forgot. Like anyone else I love the special attention year round, but I refuse to let some writing on a calendar tell me how I should feel and judge my relationship.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
12:47 pm

@I am..??

I’ll take u to I Hop instead…

now if u dont want that either..now geeeerl,iam spending my money,remeber??

I dont like difficult women :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:51 pm

Kimmie: My son’s father would spend money on me in a heartbeat but he could never quite get how I rather him spend time with me then spend money on me.
Sure we had times where would spend it together but his biggest way of showing love was opening his wallet.
I never really liked it. Reminded me of my childhood.
If I was upset about something, my mom would take me shopping when all I really wanted was for her to listen to me and hug me.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
12:53 pm

@kimmie
He obviously had her fooled for a min and thought I was being hard on him because she is like a little sister and says I’m “over protective”. Its hard to say, but you know you have had friends tell you bout some of the losers in your past but ignored until you found out for yourself.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
12:55 pm

@ Kimmie~The mere fact that my SO & I do so much for each other the other days makes it crazy for him to put $80 into some roses for v-day

AMEN!, that’s what i’m saying

@Raqui~ if you S/O got you that big bundle of roses for your birthday or Christmas would you feel the same way about them? Or would you just say thank you and be happy?……………..And just to make my point a little plainer Christmas, birthdays, mother’s day are all only just one-day-out-of-the-year also

yep, I know

In the end I’m not saying oh please don’t do anything, yeah right what woman you know gonna say that. I’m just saying because we are or at least we should be handling the love 365 don’t go all overboard every single v-day, christmas, birthday etc….it’s the simple things that warm my heart, truth be told i’ve been on both sides I once had a boyfriend buy me a dozen peach roses and yes i was happy BUT I was happy because they were peach roses (which meant he listened) because Orange is my favorite color and that was the closest he could get to an orange rose (the rose part was his preference) but the best time i remember celebrating my birthday was the one when we just sat out under the stars and talked.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:56 pm

Melo: If you are insistent upon going to Ihop we can go to Ihop.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
12:58 pm

Sounds like the gf is being used as his “beard.”

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

@Melo
I got an extra $5 for Ihop with I am. She is making me so sad and I want her to be so happy.

@I am
Chill out mama its not that bad babe. Yesterday is over and we have no clue what the rest of the day will bring. Maybe even Prince Charming. Will you be ready for him or will he pass you by because he can see the “weight on your shoulders” and keep it moving?

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

@ Raqui ~Those things that we call simple actually require more effort and thought than a high dollar going overboard gift.~

exactly!, so like someone said earlier at least you know it wasn’t just something they came up just during a weekly trip to walmart (or something like that) which to me means they are just doing it cause that’s what’s expected of them.

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:05 pm

hi bloggsville!!! i missed y’all. it’s only been a couple of days i know . . . but still.

i say if your guy didn’t take valentine’s day serious, let it go. don’t start something over bs. maybe he doesn’t like v-day. my older sis can’t stand v-day.

if you did something small for your man and he went all out, that’s ok. take the next couple of days and make it up to him. sounds fun!

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:11 pm

waffle house . . . *sigh*. i have one great memory from there. the one off 20 past douglasville. we met on yahoo personals and decided to get the first meet and greet over. it was so romantic. our first kiss was a panty dropper.

i found his phine self on FB, but don’t think it’s a good idea to add him.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:13 pm

I was at wal-mart this past Saturday and actually LOL at all the dudes w/teddybears, candy, roses and those ridiculously big balloons.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:15 pm

Dig that: @Melo
I got an extra $5 for Ihop with I am. She is making me so sad and I want her to be so happy.

That put a smile on my face, Thanks.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:20 pm

Cupid’s Aftermath: 2 Hours after I had fallen asleep I was still feeling the pound of the thrust. LOL

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:21 pm

Cupid’s After-Aftermath: I am still thinking about it and it made me smile.

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:22 pm

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:24 pm

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust

@Raqi?

u gon kill Beautiful and I am whatever with ur showing off!

Please keep their grandma panties dry,if u dont mind :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

Cupid’s Aftermath: 2 Hours after I had fallen asleep I was still feeling the pound of the thrust. LOL

TMI!!!! TMI!!!!!!

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:26 pm

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

question for the blog:

Anyone believe in Psychics?

A friend of mine has made predictions about me that have come tru and her last prediction though I like the outcome, I don’t like the time frame in which it supposed to occur.

Do any of you belive in what they say?

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:30 pm

In the shed justa pumpin anda sweating. Raqi had relations

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:31 pm

not really. i go for fun!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:31 pm

@Iam
One way for me to truly believe is to have your friend hit me up and let me get them lottery numbers and I will let you know if you should be listening to them or not.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:32 pm

I am whatever, close you eyes.

Melo I have a really interesting looking hicky that was in effort to be made in the shape of a heart. It’s cute but kinda looks like a heart blob. And kinda big. LOL

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

Somebody come over here and tickle me….I need to laugh before I start screaming! Any jokes anyone??

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust

@Raqi??

that tells me urs is kinda elevated,with fatty lips! :lol:

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:37 pm

Good Afternoon, all.

Since I’ve always felt that V-day was a day for the ladies, I never really cared if I got anything in return.
I am not a big fan of the day either, but that is more because of the commericialization of it.

Come to think of it, I never ask for anything for any material gifts for any holiday (including Christmas). But that is just me, I think that a person’s time is priceless. So, I am appreciative when someone decides to share some of the their time on earth with me.

Mr. Unknown

February 15th, 2010
1:38 pm

Aftermath: If women don’t participate in Vday, and give nothing. Red flag for me… Also how many people were contacted by their EX Last night? I got two msg by text asking what I was doing.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:38 pm

Tickling Leggs. Stop kicking or I’m gonna stop.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:39 pm

where is Rell??

maybe Swiss might help..

I was gon ask what name is given to those women nana lips that actually kinda grip and suck the wang…u really feel the grip and suck on ur johnson..whats the negro name or ebonics name for them lovely wet lips??

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

Raqi…

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust
TMI….TMI. Then again, you could have told us that your jaws were still hurting. That would have been more TMI. :lol:

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

Poppa, even if you know your wife wants to get you something do you not let her know what you want?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:41 pm

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:44 pm

Melo and Poppa, since the topic is about the after feeling of not getting anything I figured I would add my positive spin and tell about the gift I received that keeps on giving.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:47 pm

Raqi, when I want something, I got the money to get myself.

If she sees something that she would like to see me wear, she is free to purchase it. However, I don’t go looking through the JC Penneys wishbook circling things.

The way that I see is that she has really given me what I really need and want. Her heart and the opportunity to share her life’s journey with me. I have the pleasure of sharing my life’s journey with her. Her love and support is really all that I need and want. Material things are man made and all man made things are imperfect. There is no Toyota recall on how I feel about that chick.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:48 pm

Ironically, I did laugh at that Dig That!

@Raqi ~ why you wanna go and throw salt in our wounds! Go sit down!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:49 pm

Her heart and the opportunity to share her life’s journey with me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. There is nothing wrong with you letting her know of something you wouldn’t mind her getting since she is wanting to get you something.

(Disclaimer: LOL)

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:51 pm

LOL Leggs, just look at it like this, we more than likely would have still done it had it not even been V-day.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:51 pm

lol @ dig:

a long time ago she made a prediction about me.
We lost contact somehow but her prediction came true.
We recently came in contact and she made another prediction about me.
Not sure if it will happen or not. I’ll get back to you in 5 yrs when it’s suppossed to occur.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:52 pm

whats the prediction I am?? and how old will u be in 5 yrs

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:54 pm

As for yesterday, Mrs. PG when downstairs and brought her pole into the bedroom. She gave me a champagne room style lapdance and made a personalized CD for me with all of the song that she used during that dance. So, I can put that CD in the player anytime and any place and reminisce when we aren’t able to be together.

As for my gift to her, I actually spent a little bit of loot (not a ton though). I got her tickets to the Alicia Keys/Melanie Fiona/Robin Thicke concert in March. Along with another personalized Build-A-Bear made in Arbor Place Mall.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:55 pm

I was really hoping for them lottery numbers. It doesn’t have to be for this weeks drawing. Next week is fine too.

Eiljah

February 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

Good Afternoon folks of the blog world!

V-day…. I have dated ladies on both sides of the ledger! Some who wanted big gifts for V-day and some who just appreciated you thinking and spending quality time with them on V-day! Once I know their personality and what they appreciate in life that is how I taylor my gifts!

Although I do not expect anything on V-day,I have dated some ladies who would go all out in buying me some very expensive gifts for V-day.

If I am dating you gifts will come thru out the whole year!

Hola Professor,
I see I have some competition huh!

For Real

February 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

V-Day, Xmas, or b-Days are only important to the people that thinks they are important. Me personally I believe b-days are more important than any of those other days. V-Day and Xmas are nothing but an opportunity for companies to push their product and I don’t buy into it.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:58 pm

Melo the prediction was that I would have a baby born in September.
Had I not miscarried, the baby would have been born in September.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:59 pm

Raqi

LOL. At times I can tell that she is frustrated by it. So, occasionally, I will tell her want I want. Like last week when she asked, I told her that I wanted that Chevelle that I saw for sale at the carwash at the corner of Northside and Boone(Simpson).

I can buy me a shirt anytime. As a matter of fact, I still have about $600 in gift cards to Dillards from Christmas, my birthday, and other occasions. (Most of my friends know that I like Dillards because of the Big & Tall selection is usually pretty nice and fit me pretty well.)

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Melo : in 5 yrs I will be 5 years older than what I am now :p

geesh! what is with Melo and his age obsession.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Melo: we had lost contact way before I got pregnant.
She made the prediction about me several years before I got prego.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:06 pm

@ I am..so she on it then coz she has predicted one that was on target be4!

if she said anything about/to do with prego again,u might as well just have to come ova here and i do the do..

I dont usually fire blanks! :lol:

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:08 pm

Folks always tripping about commercialization & companies trying to sell things.

What’s wrong with folks trying to get their hustle on and make money & create jobs?

Just kidding(kinda) LOL!!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:11 pm

Poppa, the thing that my husband learned about me when we started dating is I like to give gifts. He, like you and many other guys, used to say it was not that important to him, but he seeing that it’s what I do learned to just throw the hint out there if he wanted something in particular. I don’t mind the hints. In fact I prefer them.

I don’t need a special day to get him something that I want him to have, but when it comes to birthdays and the like I want to get him something that I know he wants.

There is a difference in him liking the things that I get him and him wanting something in particular.

And I don’t like to give gift cards. I try to only give them when I just can’t come up with anything, or I am mailing the gift.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:14 pm

Folks always tripping about commercialization & companies trying to sell things.

LOL You are right. But folks seem to not trip during the non gift giving times of the year. I find that quite hilarious.

Hallmark sell cards year round but people only trip when the commercials are coming back to back. Yet the price of cards stay the same.

And it’s even more funny because during the gift giving time you can get stuff on sale and folks still complain.

For Real

February 15th, 2010
2:15 pm

I am: Heyyyy look it’s Peggy the Psychic!

Peggy: Hey I am how are you?

I am: Uses da psychic tell me!

Peggy: Child I see you still funny as hellz. Oh my, oh my…

I am: What’s wrong Peggy the Psychic?

Peggy: The psychic world is speaking to me about you

I am: They are? What are they saying Peggy the Psychic?

Peggy: When YKK come into your life pull it. Oh.. the connection is broken.

I am: When YKK come into my life pull it?

Peggy: Yep. That will be $13.95

I am: What does that mean Peggy the Psychic? You got change for a $20?

Peggy: You will know when you see it my child. Naw but I will credit your account on your next reading.

I am: Cool, you take care Peggy the Psychic. When YKK come into my life pull it?

For Real: Heyyyyyy I am!

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
2:15 pm

And I don’t like to give gift cards

I’m with you on that one Raqui, at least not to my s/o.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:17 pm

@ Real: you are not funny

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:17 pm

@Raqi??

I think u females place a lot more in getting gifts coz u use gifts as a way of shawing off to ur mates at work and friends…this happens a lot.No wonder some coupled less females will take off days on Vday,if it falls during the week.

Guys dont even share what we get from our wives or girlfriends…its no big deal.

A lot of females go out of their way to ask even be4 the event,”so what are u getting me for Xmas/birfday/vday etc”"

Unnnecessary pressure I tell ya.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
2:18 pm

No wonder some coupled less females will take off days on Vday,if it falls during the week.

Melo: for real?!?!?

For Real

February 15th, 2010
2:19 pm

“Poppa, the thing that my husband learned about me when we started dating is I like to give gifts.”

Mase in his weekly support group “My Wife Shops To Dayum Merch”.

Mase: Somebody help me she trying to buy my a President’s Day shirt.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:19 pm

Melo and blanks….hmnnnnn…..I’m trying to eat lunch.
Lost my appetite.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
2:19 pm

For Real you are clowing today LOL!

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:20 pm

Raqi – My SO is like Poppa in that he buys whatever he needs for himself all year round. He even mentioned that he knows he is difficult to buy for because of that. Plus, he’s particular, especially about electronics, and usually has some crazy website he knows of where he can find what he wants dirt cheap.

I do listen to hints, or rather, him noting when he likes or wants something. Like when he was getting his basement finished, along with home movie theatre, he mentioned wanting an old fashioned movie popcorn popper. So that was the perfect birthday gift and he loves it! It makes it so easy when he gives the hint and it falls near a gift-giving holiday!

But if it’s nothing on the horizon he wants, gift cards it is and he said he prefers them. Recently for his bday he got about 6 different gift cards for his favorites and he was very happy.

My boss loves them too – we got him a card to his favorite hangout for Christmas – Home Depot.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:20 pm

suddenly the thought of Melo wearing a speedo and he has taco meat comes to brain.
eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:23 pm

Melo, what are you talking about? I don’t show off gifts at work. My husband does not send gifts to my office. He has flowers a few times but that’s it. And those times were for reasons other than a holiday.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:23 pm

@I am??

too much thinking about me can actually make u prego!

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
2:25 pm

4Real – yousa straight up fool.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:25 pm

Somebody help me she trying to buy my a President’s Day shirt

LOL ForReal. Yeah kinda sorta.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:25 pm

melo: honestly thinking about you (no matter how gross that is) is better than me thinking of the ex.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
2:28 pm

I guess for me. It boils down to the fact, that there aren’t many things that I’ve wanted or needed that I have gotten myself. I am a task oriented person so if getting something is on my radar, and it is on my list (I really do have a list on my outlook and blackberry) , it usually get scratched off the list.

As far as commericalism goes, my problem is linked to people who spend tons of money that they don’t have for material things. A credit card is nothing but an IOU (to the bank). A lot of this recession can be linked to the overspending and credit card debt. (Along with the mortgage stuff). N

Now, if you got it in the bank, I have no problem with commercialism. However, everyone pays when someone can’t pay the credit card bills with higher rates to make up for those that cannot pay. The bank won’t take a loss if it can help it.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:30 pm

kimmie, I give them but they are kind of impersonal IMO. I send them to my sister for places like Borders and Barnes & Noble because she loves to read. It’s a better choice than me trying to pick a book that I think she may like. Especially not knowing which books she already own.

I don’t think I have ever given Mason a gift card. He gets his own electronic gadgets. I did buy him a voice activated remote control. I usually get him clothing, or wallets, or briefcase.

I love to buy clothing. Whether it for him or my son or the baby or myself I love buying clothing.

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

Raqi – My Wife used to be that way with gift giving. I tried stopping her by telling her everytime she wanted to buy me something to just go get herself something nice. Wrong answer, thats where alot the dayum shoes came from. Then I just told her to just put it away in Savings. Funny how more shoes keep showing up but the Savings account aint growing.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:31 pm

Melo – You are right, a lot of ladies like to show off what they get to coworkers & friends. For some, it’s a form of validation. It says “see, I’m lovable & somebody & my man is not cheap”, or “See yall, I gotta man”. That’s just their way. They even try to make others feel bad by taking inventory the next day – “So what did you get?” Even though you might be perfectly happy with the card your boo made for you, there might be that one that goes around talking about how cheap your man is!LOL!! I got a buddy just like that – I have not gotten my after-valentines day call yet, but I will.

Others are like Raqi, more secure and know you don’t have to show off. I’m more that way too, more private.

To each his/her own. Some are more showy, some more private. Whatever works for you!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:32 pm

Poppa, I have a link in my email that my husband sent me this morning that I am going to post for you in a minute.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:34 pm

thats where alot the dayum shoes came from

WillieD, yep. It’s all you all fault. I bought my husband this really nice watch once and he made me take it back. I used some of the money to buy myself a jacket and put the rest in savings. I probably would not have bought the jacket had he not broken my heart. :sad: LOL

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:37 pm

I luv the innernet..i just renewed my tag while sitting ova here..

priceless! :-)

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
2:37 pm

Willie Dynamite

I tried stopping her by telling her everytime she wanted to buy me something to just go get herself something nice. Wrong answer, thats where alot the dayum shoes came from.

:lol: I know that all too well. Well, unfortunately for me, every pair of shoes seemed to require a purse, too

I did the saving account thing, too. I opened one of the ING online things with the decent interest rate. I asked that she put money in there when she wants to buy me something.

What she doesn’t know is that account is being used to save money so that we can put a good down payment on a car when the time comes. So, we don’t have to move money around for that. A good down payment can keep the monthly payments down as well.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:37 pm

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Banking/BetterBanking/struggling-towns-printing-their-own-cash.aspx

Poppa, check this out. Cities are starting to print their own currency in an effort to keep businesses up and running and the exchange flowing. It will not be long before more places are doing this. I think it’s a good idea.

For Real

February 15th, 2010
2:38 pm

My Wife Shops To Dayum Merch weekly meeting.

Mase: Am I the only one didn’t know that President’s Day has a color scheme and balloons?

Group: YES!!!

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:38 pm

As far as commericalism goes, my problem is linked to people who spend tons of money that they don’t have for material things.

Got a problem with that too, Poppa! And yes, big reason for the recession!

Back 8 years ago when I bought my house, I told my realtor up front I was NOT even looking at a house above a certain amount, even though I qualified for more. I told her all these folks in these big houses living beyond their means was going to come back to haunt everyone and that the bubble would burst. I gotta be able to be comfortable and sleep at night, with no crazy debt hanging over my head. I don’t see how folks do it.

You sound a lot like my SO, Poppa! He’s a lawyer & very logical about things.

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
2:42 pm

Raqi – yep my fault alright. When I used to have to dress business for work she would buy me Ties left and right. On point but now I have over 70 Ties and I only wear them 3-4 times a month.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:43 pm

LOL ForReal. Yep Red, white and blue.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
2:43 pm

Hello All (five more days and home!!!!!!!!)

No horror stories or wonderful ones here. Probably the one I gave that got the best response was a nice card and flowers/dinner AND three Amex cards for enough to buy her three kids new jeans for school. Her ex had cut off the child support and she did not have enough money and they had had to wear the same pair each for about 18 months.

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:45 pm

Randyt – Sounds pretty wonderful to me!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
2:46 pm

I wish I could afford a new car RIGHT NOW!

Willie Dynamite

February 15th, 2010
2:48 pm

Pops – mayne thats something I thought I had figured out. Made sense to me BUT who knew she needed 50 pair of shoes with the purse (and Jacket) to match.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:50 pm

Willie, 70? I know exactly how she feels. Everytime I am in the men’s department I always check out the ties and shirts. Mason has plenty also but yall don’t know how good yall look sometimes when you all dressed up. LOL

Oh and socks. I buy socks also.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:50 pm

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts) :

My hats off to you!!!! Dating a woman with 3 kids and helping her out!!!
you are awesome!!!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
2:53 pm

@RandyT ~ know she loved that and that it’s probably her best v-day gift to date!

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
2:53 pm

Raqi

Yes, I’ve heard about it. The article makes it seem like it is without its challenges though.

There are whispers that the current administration would like to challenge the constitutionality of cities printing their own money. Article I of the US Constitution gives Federal Government the power to print money. When the US worked under the Articles of Confederation (the precursor to the US Constitution), each state had different currency.

The major difference between the current cases of cities printing money and the cases from colonial America is that the local and state governments tried to tax the federal gov’t. So, this may work if there are no taxes attached. However, if the federal gov’t finds out that this is working and it isn’t getting any benefit, the feds may crack down on this.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:54 pm

Poppa and Willie, that’s how we differ. When we get you all a tie you all look in the closet to see what shirt will go with it. When you all get us a pendant we look online to see which blouse would frame it the best and which skirt will enhance the color of the blouse therefore having to have the right shoes that will make the skirt hang and flow properly that we can find the perfect handbag for to look just right.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:54 pm

Dating a woman with 3 kids and helping her out!!!
you are awesome!!!

@I am whatever??

but those are his(Randy-t’s) soiled and derty t-shirts! :lol:

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
2:54 pm

Posting behind i am makes me feel like I’m in the lonely hearts club (LOL).

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
2:56 pm

Thanks (sheepish :-)

Once in awhile even a blind squirrel finds an acorn I suppose

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:56 pm

Poppa, yeah the government will find away to get their “cut”.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:57 pm

Randy, that was very nice of you.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
2:58 pm

Actually I really liked her kids, and they seemed to like me. I was luckier than most.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
3:07 pm

Willie Dynamite- I quit counting ties and braces years ago.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:08 pm

While I love shopping, I love shopping the clearance racks even more. LOL

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
3:09 pm

My wife is a clearance rack queen.

For Real

February 15th, 2010
3:09 pm

My Wife Shops To Dayum Merch weekly meeting:

Mase: Dayum! That means I will have to buy her something?

Group: YES!!!

Mase: Dayum! That means whatever I buy she will need new shoes, pocketbook, skirt, shirt and lipstick.

Group: YES!!

Mase: Is there anything I can do to stop this?

Group: NO!!!

Mase: Then what’s the purpose of this group?

Group: To watch the new guy go insane.

For Real

February 15th, 2010
3:10 pm

For Real

February 15th, 2010
3:13 pm

Professor

February 15th, 2010
3:15 pm

@ Kimmie I told my agent the same thing when I was house shopping.
@Elijah…yes you have some competition he is in the lead, maybe those lemon pepper wings can get you back in the game :wink:
@Melo you must have a birthday coming soon!
@Leggs, I am is making me :sad: and I had a great weekend :grin: Ms. Leggs you are not apart of that club, because you are living and loving life!!!

Seven years later...

February 15th, 2010
3:19 pm

The worst Valentine’s Days for me were the ones spent alone. I’ve had more than my fair share of the lonely ones in my lifetime. It’s used to be a day that I’d want to forgot when I wasn’t in a relationship. I had almost given up, thinking that love wasn’t meant for me.

The worst one in recent memory was about seven years ago. I had only been seeing this man for about six weeks at the time. I definitely jumped the gun and expected way more than I should have out of him so early in the relationship. I was so busy buying things for him that it didn’t even occur to me that he had not made plans with me on Valentine’s Day. When I called him about it, he made the excuse that he was sick and that we’d get together that weekend.

I ended up going out with some of my single girlfriends on Valentine’s Day. We got the bright idea to drive by his house after dinner. To my surprise, another car was in his driveway! I had suspected that he was still seeing other women at the time. Now I knew for sure! We went out the following night. The only thing that he got me that year was a value -pack Valentine’s card ( the ones that come 6 to a pack) and a tiny glass figurine. My girlfriends were saying to ditch him, but I didn’t give up on this man. I’m happy to say that I didn’t listen to them and followed my own instincts. I stayed the course with him. Last night, we spent our first Valentine’s Day as an engaged couple complete with a romantic dinner, a dozen roses, and a beautiful sentimental card meant only for me.

He’s come a long way from that first dreadful Valentine’s Day seven years ago. We still joke about that first value-pack card! I’m looking forward to being married to him this June. As for those two single friends that suggested I ditch him long ago: They’re still single and waiting for “Mr. Right” to come along. One even made a nasty comment when I announced my engagement that she’d believe it only at the wedding reception! I can’t wait to prove her wrong once again!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:23 pm

Paying $23 for a skirt that was originally $85 gives a feeling euphoria almost as good as a full body “O”. LOL

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:26 pm

Hell, don’t invite her, send her a pic!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:26 pm

Congratulation, Seven years.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:27 pm

Great story, 7YrsLater!

Melo

February 15th, 2010
3:28 pm

Now,u females that value ur Rabbits???

u see how Vday was for u…and ur pining,wishing u had a mna to give u vday presents etc.

Now dont come on here tomorrw,talking on the side of ur necks saying u dont need a man!

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
3:28 pm

Why does the whole blog hate on me?
I very happy that other people enjoyed their V days.
I’m just going thru a rough time. okay?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:28 pm

ForReal, that is one of my pet peeves when folks get in the far left lanes and then drive > 50 mph. Stay in the right lanes if you want to drive Mrs. Daisy.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:29 pm

I am whatever, who is hating on you?

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:30 pm

@Melo ~ may want a man, but not to give gifts. More like to share life with.

@i am, the blog likes you and wish you weren’t going through such heartache.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
3:30 pm

@ 7 years: thank your for your story. you give me hope.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
3:31 pm

the comment professor posted makes me feel unloved.

Professor..eating cookies and milk

February 15th, 2010
3:32 pm

I am If I can off as hating on you please disregard my post. However the one I told you about Praying to God asking him for the ability to love and making yourself lovable…along with the daily affirmations…keep that one, because that will help you!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:34 pm

I am whatever, do you walk around sad and down around your kid?

Melo

February 15th, 2010
3:37 pm

so what can we learn from seven years later??

its okay to date a man with gerlfriend or thats married,u may win

its oky to act crawzy smetimes and do drive byes

neva ever follow the advice of gerlfriends,even when they tell u, ur man is cheating on u!

when u dont have a date on vday nite,go out with ur other thirsty gerlfriends(to: Iam whatever)

Vday brings out the worst in lonely coupled less females..

check 3.26/3.27(Raqi/Leggs)..females dont care how u get a man as long as u get him at last!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:38 pm

Good question, Raqi.

I have a gf who has low self-esteem and so does her daugther. The mother just got a beatdown by her 14 year old daughter. Abt a year ago, the child called DEFACS on her mother. Now, the teenager is swinging on her mother cuz her mother found out her daughter is practicing lesbianism….had to laugh at practicing. Anyway, not in my house will a child beat me down. Now, can’t stop lil leggs if she got the gumption to raise her hand, but bet that hand will never be the same!

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
3:39 pm

Raqi: Only when he gives me tantrums and ask for his dad when I don’t let him have his way.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:41 pm

LOL Leggs, girl you best believe the day one my kids raise their hand at me they will be drawing back a nub. And should that hand make contact with me, I will freely do my jail time.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
3:41 pm

actually Melo: what I got out of her story is that love comes even when you give up.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:42 pm

@Melo ~ just hush. They worked out the particulars in their relationship and he apparently stopped seeing the other woman and they started working exclusively on their relationship.

And, coming from the blog buzzard on sex, you don’t seem to care how you get it either.

Professor..eating cookies and milk

February 15th, 2010
3:44 pm

I am is making me :sad: and I had a great weekend Ms. Leggs you are not apart of that club, because you are living and loving life!!!

I am you have been :cry: since page #1 or early this morning about not having a man! You have 364 days to find one…GET OVER IT!!!! Enough already this blog is not here to wipe your tears and coo coo about you not getting anything.

Blog men: Melo, Elijah, Real, DreamsM etc….I have a $20 bill and a large tip. Will one of you go get some on that markdown candy at Wal-mart so she will hush up?????

Melo

February 15th, 2010
3:45 pm

the blog buzzard on sex, you don’t seem to care how you get it either

@Leggs On sexx??

Iam still on the Clintonsque,”dont ask, dont tell,just empty that prostate” :lol:

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:46 pm

Leggs and I am whatever, what I read in Seven’s post is she acted prematurely at the onset of a dating relationship and realized she needed to pull back. Doing so she did not ruin what could be and it worked out.

She said they had just started dating so it was not uncommon for him to still be seeing other women. Now I would not have driven by his house if that had been me, but her doing so just shed light for her and made her realize she was moving in to fast.

Professor..eating cookies and milk

February 15th, 2010
3:49 pm

@Melo I hate to admit it, but I got a few of those things out of seven years story as well.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
3:49 pm

I am whatever, if you don’t mind me asking what happened with your son’s father?

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
3:49 pm

That’s what I got too, Raqi, 6 weeks in and he’s with another on V-day and she goes out with him the next day. After all of that, they worked out that they wanted to be together, and 7 yrs later will be married in June!

Yeah, I’ve never done the drivebys either!

For Real

February 15th, 2010
3:53 pm

For Real snatches the $20 from Professor hands and throw a handfull of peppermint he got from Mrs. Gladdus while in church at I am’s front door. While screaming HAPPY V-DAY from Elijah.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
3:57 pm

Leggs/Raqi/Proff??

does it matter how a chic snags a dude,even when the guy is coupled up at the time??

At the end of the day,its ur ability that got the guy and ex fault that her relationship did not work for them 2.If u make it last with dude,can u really be blamed for the demise of his previous relationship?

Dating is competition..some win, others lose.

Professor...ahhh

February 15th, 2010
3:57 pm

For Real you know I cannot run when it is cold! That cold air is making my chest hurt…at least give me back $10. I don’t feel like chasing you. Mrs. Gladdus peppermint taste like cough drops.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
3:58 pm

By the way Proff, I am accepting credit card donations and gifts on wednesday!

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
4:01 pm

@Melo, I got that she didn’t know he was coupled up…she suspected, but was confirmed with the drive by. Blame the ex for making herself an ex!

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
4:01 pm

I’m with Leggs:
Looks like they did work out their issues because they are now engaged.
Congrats again at 7years.
Wish you the best.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
4:02 pm

the blog buzzard??

@Leggs??

buzzard.???.i dont even know what that means…

sometimes u really sound like Dan’s wife with ur big words! :lol:

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:05 pm

I guess I did not realize one had to practice to be a lesbian. I thought all it took was…ah never mind.

Professor...ahhh

February 15th, 2010
4:09 pm

By the way Proff, I am accepting credit card donations and gifts on wednesday!

Melo, Real will give you some of Mrs. Gladdus peppermint

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:11 pm

Melo, if two people are not exclusive it’s understood that they are more than likely seeing other people. You cannot expect someone to not see other people if you two don’t have that agreement. So if you see that person out with someone else you have no right to get angry or accuse them of wrongdoings. They haven’t agreed to only date you. Don’t make assumptions that will just get you hurt. That’s what Seven was talking about. She jumped the gun on the V-day thing then realized that he could very well be dating others by right because they were not exclusive.

If you are just dating you are just dating.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
4:13 pm

@Melo, you are a nut. A big bird that swams around carcasses….much like flies swarming around horse shyt!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:13 pm

Randy, I guess it’s like practicing medicine or law. Situations change creating new adventures. LOL

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
4:14 pm

@RandyT ~ that’s why I laughed. The mother thinks she’s “practicing” cuz no way her daughter could really be going that route! She thinks this is a “phase” she’s going through!

Melo

February 15th, 2010
4:14 pm

If you are just dating you are just dating

@Raqi

i get that part..my qstiuon is do u(the female) care about the other female in the picture or u stay in ur lane..if he wants u,u go ahead and get him..then ask qstions later??

whats the female viewpoint??

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:15 pm

@Raqi

If there is a certification exam, I…ah never mind that either ;-)

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:16 pm

Leggs, the mother used practice? LOL Don’t she realize what she is saying. People usually practice in an effort to get better at what they do.

Professor...ahhh

February 15th, 2010
4:16 pm

does it matter how a chic snags a dude,even when the guy is coupled up at the time??

If a man is coupled up at the time…I will not mess with him. If I suspect a man is coupled up I will not mess with him. I like folks that are free. It has never been my thing to hunch around with someone’s man

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:17 pm

whats the female viewpoint??

Probably the same as the male’s.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:17 pm

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:18 pm

Hey Leggs, yeah I know. I like practicing my lesbian skills too. Okay TMI, but could not leave that one just hanging there like a slow softball pitch and not take a cut at it ;-)

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
4:18 pm

whole foods’ flower sales was hurt by the snow. They are selling 2 dozen of roses for $5.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
4:18 pm

some males dont care Raqi..whats urs??

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
4:19 pm

Gotta go…

Friends are like bras, close to the heart and there to support you! Make sure you have a couple of them!

Nite!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
4:19 pm

so what can we learn from seven years later??

@Melo I think you summed it up bruh?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:20 pm

Cupid’s Aftermath: We gone do it all over again this evening.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
4:21 pm

Good one, RandyT. Didn’t see that one coming!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:22 pm

They are selling 2 dozen of roses for $5.

Poppa, imma pick up a dozen or two. Thanks.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
4:22 pm

Enter your comments here

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
4:24 pm

My view point is southeast looking north.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
4:26 pm

view point is southeast looking north.

so u going down on him first tonite??

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
4:27 pm

1 down . . . 1 to go!!! smh.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:30 pm

@I am

Actually we are what we choose to be. All of us on this blog have been alone. All of us have been where you are. I’ve had times in my life when I would have had to tie a pork chop around my neck to get my dogs to play with me it seemed.

What you should consider is changing your screen name to reflect who you want to be. Decide what kind of person you wpould want to attract and BEGIN TO BECOME that person too. When you begin to feel good about yourself, it shows and attracts others.

I’m saying this because I have BEEN there too. You have to lead yourself out of the darkness, no one will wander in to it to find you. When you do, YOU will feel better and will have yourself to thank.

Just a thought.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
4:32 pm

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
4:34 pm

To everyone on this blog.

I hurt. I am human.
I am a great woman (all of my exes will vouch for that)
I know how to love and receive love
I will love again….someday.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:39 pm

@I am loved

Better!!!! Way to recognize some your strengths. Every day MAKE IT HAPPEN. Just like the song in the old movie “Flashdance” …”take your passion, and MAKE IT HAPPEN”.

Good start.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
4:39 pm

now accepting applications from single kind hearted men

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
4:45 pm

This will sound so stupid, but I don’t care, it helped me. When things would really get bad, I would start thinking about the words from the Broadway Musical “Annie” and the song “Tomorrow”. I would sing it in my mind until I began to look forward to tomorrow and what it would bring.

It would work for me…and if it worked, I did not give a dayum what anyone else thought.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
4:58 pm

Thanks Randy

Whenver I’m sad, I don’t show it on the outside in public.
So I don’t want people thinking I walk around with a sad face 24/7.
I feel sad but I don’t show it in public.
I dragged myself out of bed yesterday to go out and have dinner.
It sure beats being alone in the house.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
4:58 pm

@I am loved
Sounds like we are feeling a little better. I’m happy to see that.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
4:59 pm

Randy, thanks for your support.
Means a lot
your lady is a lucky one.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
4:59 pm

yeah feeling a little better dig.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:03 pm

;-)

So in my best Little Orphan Annie voice:
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!

Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!

When I’m stuck a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
5:04 pm

@I am
We can all get low sometimes. Just got to snap back. I always keep in my head that when you think life has you at the end of your rope. Tie a knot in it and hold on.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
5:05 pm

So thats what she is saying

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:08 pm

Make it a great evening “I am” and all.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:13 pm

Randy: for a minute there, listening to how you cope was helping then you had to post the Annie lyrics.

All i can say is (please don’t take this the wrong way) GAY GAY GAY

lmbao!!!! JOKE….

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:14 pm

NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE:

I’m a great catch!!! shoot I have to chose to be with you!!!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:16 pm

Hey, I was down when that song came out, but don’t let it fool you. Very little scares me. Skydived, bungeed, rapelled, Army officer. Just that those words were there at a time I really needed to listen.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:19 pm

and for the record, most men, me included, show the macho bs when sometimes we are scared toooo.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:20 pm

randy: do you have any single military friends?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:21 pm

men never ADMIT fear…does not mean we don’t get scared, just NEVER supposed to show it.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm

Men are the biggest babies.
I will always love them! :-)

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm

Not any more. I’ve been out for many years.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm

Randy: do you have any handsome single friends?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:25 pm

Hey, you are sounding better. Do this every day, try to climb out one step at a time, and again BECOME WHO YOU WOULD WANT TO ATTRACT!!!

Also. ;-) I can do the “Annie” thing cause am very confident in my masculinity … hellz I might even wear a pink shirt tomorrow.

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:26 pm

Randy: as long as you don’t wear the pink socks to match!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:28 pm

Probably, but the best thing is to figure out what type of guy you would like to attract, and figure out where a guy like that might generally be.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
5:28 pm

@I am
What if they are not that handsome but very good men. Which matters most?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

February 15th, 2010
5:29 pm

I wont. Even I have my limits.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
5:33 pm

@Randyt

That’s good to know. The pink shirt and socks might be a bit much my friend

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
5:59 pm

dig that:

I will still holler but I have my limits
if dude looks like this:http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii16/onali67/ugly_guyshead.jpg
I can’t even front, I can’t get past the looks

I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)

February 15th, 2010
6:01 pm

Randy: i know exactly what guy I want to be and I do go to places where I’m likely to find him.
guess he hasn’t found me yet :-(