Cupid’s Aftermath: Advice from The Love Squad
I hope you all survived the weekend! Some of you probably can relate to today’s topic. If it hasn’t happened to you, well, great, just consider yourselves prepared if it ever does: You or your date under- or over-delivered on Valentine’s Day. Right, so that’s awkward? The gifts/gestures you had are not even close to the same effort. Now there’s like a cheap stuffed pink elephant in the room.
Should you address it or pretend it didn’t happen? How do you react to an over the top or dreadful gift/gesture from your Valentine?
Daniel, 27, Atlanta.:
“Probably better to address the issue. If you are ‘the scmhuck,’ you should probably acknowledge to your date that you didn’t make the day as special as you might have wanted. That shouldn’t be the determinant of everything. Honesty and a good effort going forward should go a long way.”
Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta.:
“Oh, my, this happened to me. We had only been dating a short time before V-Day. I played it casual (and assumed he was) by getting him something small and funny. I felt terrible he had spent a ton on me, and I had just gotten him a freakin’ cookie. I told him I loved the ring (which I did), but a few weeks later, I asked him to take it back and put the money in a savings account for our potential future.”
Martin, 40’sh, Atlanta:
“It’s easy to say that ‘It’s the thought that counts,’ but it can be quite awkward if one doesn’t appear to put in the time and effort of the other around Valentine’s Day. It should be addressed and discussed, and then both parties should move on. The person lacking effort on Valentine’s Day better prepare for a big comeback on the other’s birthday”
LaShonn, 39, Atlanta.:
“I’ve been there – on both ends. I’ve gone w-a-a-a-y overboard, and had someone else catch me off-guard and do the same. Looking back, I think it’s best to say, ‘This is really sweet, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Can we slow down a little?’ Everything in due time. You could pretend you weren’t offended or weirded out, but what good would that do?”
Oh, I could recount endless times a guy has left me speechless over gift selections. Oddly enough, Valentine’s Day is about the only time I haven’t been in this awkward situation. I’m always the type to use humor, so, knowing me, I’d start clowning myself or make a tongue-in- cheek comment about the guy. What would you do?
When you think about it, it’s probably difficult for a new couple to aim for the exact same degree of efforts in gifts/gestures.
Do you think that unmatched efforts mean you are not feeling the same way about one another? Is that a good time to have the talk?
What was the most inappropriate or outrageous gift you received from a date? How did you handle it?
It’s all love … links:
A Love Story: Love in the HOV lane
A Marriage Story: Cupid on duty at Rhodes Hall
Penguin Love: Love at the Atlanta Aquariam
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337 comments Add your comment
Leggs
February 15th, 2010
4:21 pm
Good one, RandyT. Didn’t see that one coming!
Raqi
February 15th, 2010
4:22 pm
They are selling 2 dozen of roses for $5.
Poppa, imma pick up a dozen or two. Thanks.
I am whatever you say I am
February 15th, 2010
4:22 pm
Enter your comments here
Raqi
February 15th, 2010
4:24 pm
My view point is southeast looking north.
Melo
February 15th, 2010
4:26 pm
view point is southeast looking north.
so u going down on him first tonite??
Beautiful ♥
February 15th, 2010
4:27 pm
1 down . . . 1 to go!!! smh.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
4:30 pm
@I am
Actually we are what we choose to be. All of us on this blog have been alone. All of us have been where you are. I’ve had times in my life when I would have had to tie a pork chop around my neck to get my dogs to play with me it seemed.
What you should consider is changing your screen name to reflect who you want to be. Decide what kind of person you wpould want to attract and BEGIN TO BECOME that person too. When you begin to feel good about yourself, it shows and attracts others.
I’m saying this because I have BEEN there too. You have to lead yourself out of the darkness, no one will wander in to it to find you. When you do, YOU will feel better and will have yourself to thank.
Just a thought.
Melo
February 15th, 2010
4:32 pm
Angie??
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
4:34 pm
To everyone on this blog.
I hurt. I am human.
I am a great woman (all of my exes will vouch for that)
I know how to love and receive love
I will love again….someday.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
4:39 pm
@I am loved
Better!!!! Way to recognize some your strengths. Every day MAKE IT HAPPEN. Just like the song in the old movie “Flashdance” …”take your passion, and MAKE IT HAPPEN”.
Good start.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
4:39 pm
now accepting applications from single kind hearted men
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
4:45 pm
This will sound so stupid, but I don’t care, it helped me. When things would really get bad, I would start thinking about the words from the Broadway Musical “Annie” and the song “Tomorrow”. I would sing it in my mind until I began to look forward to tomorrow and what it would bring.
It would work for me…and if it worked, I did not give a dayum what anyone else thought.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
4:58 pm
Thanks Randy
Whenver I’m sad, I don’t show it on the outside in public.
So I don’t want people thinking I walk around with a sad face 24/7.
I feel sad but I don’t show it in public.
I dragged myself out of bed yesterday to go out and have dinner.
It sure beats being alone in the house.
DIG THAT
February 15th, 2010
4:58 pm
@I am loved
Sounds like we are feeling a little better. I’m happy to see that.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
4:59 pm
Randy, thanks for your support.
Means a lot
your lady is a lucky one.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
4:59 pm
yeah feeling a little better dig.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:03 pm
So in my best Little Orphan Annie voice:
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!
Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!
When I’m stuck a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!
DIG THAT
February 15th, 2010
5:04 pm
@I am
We can all get low sometimes. Just got to snap back. I always keep in my head that when you think life has you at the end of your rope. Tie a knot in it and hold on.
DIG THAT
February 15th, 2010
5:05 pm
So thats what she is saying
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:08 pm
Make it a great evening “I am” and all.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:13 pm
Randy: for a minute there, listening to how you cope was helping then you had to post the Annie lyrics.
All i can say is (please don’t take this the wrong way) GAY GAY GAY
lmbao!!!! JOKE….
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:14 pm
NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE:
I’m a great catch!!! shoot I have to chose to be with you!!!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:16 pm
Hey, I was down when that song came out, but don’t let it fool you. Very little scares me. Skydived, bungeed, rapelled, Army officer. Just that those words were there at a time I really needed to listen.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:19 pm
and for the record, most men, me included, show the macho bs when sometimes we are scared toooo.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:20 pm
randy: do you have any single military friends?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:21 pm
men never ADMIT fear…does not mean we don’t get scared, just NEVER supposed to show it.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm
Men are the biggest babies.
I will always love them!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm
Not any more. I’ve been out for many years.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:22 pm
Randy: do you have any handsome single friends?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:25 pm
Hey, you are sounding better. Do this every day, try to climb out one step at a time, and again BECOME WHO YOU WOULD WANT TO ATTRACT!!!
Also.
I can do the “Annie” thing cause am very confident in my masculinity … hellz I might even wear a pink shirt tomorrow.
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:26 pm
Randy: as long as you don’t wear the pink socks to match!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:28 pm
Probably, but the best thing is to figure out what type of guy you would like to attract, and figure out where a guy like that might generally be.
DIG THAT
February 15th, 2010
5:28 pm
@I am
What if they are not that handsome but very good men. Which matters most?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
February 15th, 2010
5:29 pm
I wont. Even I have my limits.
DIG THAT
February 15th, 2010
5:33 pm
@Randyt
That’s good to know. The pink shirt and socks might be a bit much my friend
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
5:59 pm
dig that:
I will still holler but I have my limits
if dude looks like this:http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii16/onali67/ugly_guyshead.jpg
I can’t even front, I can’t get past the looks
I am loved (formely known as I am whatever you say I am)
February 15th, 2010
6:01 pm
Randy: i know exactly what guy I want to be and I do go to places where I’m likely to find him.
guess he hasn’t found me yet