I hope you all survived the weekend! Some of you probably can relate to today’s topic. If it hasn’t happened to you, well, great, just consider yourselves prepared if it ever does: You or your date under- or over-delivered on Valentine’s Day. Right, so that’s awkward? The gifts/gestures you had are not even close to the same effort. Now there’s like a cheap stuffed pink elephant in the room.
Should you address it or pretend it didn’t happen? How do you react to an over the top or dreadful gift/gesture from your Valentine?
Daniel, 27, Atlanta.:
“Probably better to address the issue. If you are ‘the scmhuck,’ you should probably acknowledge to your date that you didn’t make the day as special as you might have wanted. That shouldn’t be the determinant of everything. Honesty and a good effort going forward should go a long way.”
Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta.:
“Oh, my, this happened to me. We had only been dating a short time before V-Day. I played it casual (and assumed he was) by getting him something small and funny. I felt terrible he had spent a ton on me, and I had just gotten him a freakin’ cookie. I told him I loved the ring (which I did), but a few weeks later, I asked him to take it back and put the money in a savings account for our potential future.”
Martin, 40’sh, Atlanta:
“It’s easy to say that ‘It’s the thought that counts,’ but it can be quite awkward if one doesn’t appear to put in the time and effort of the other around Valentine’s Day. It should be addressed and discussed, and then both parties should move on. The person lacking effort on Valentine’s Day better prepare for a big comeback on the other’s birthday”
LaShonn, 39, Atlanta.:
“I’ve been there – on both ends. I’ve gone w-a-a-a-y overboard, and had someone else catch me off-guard and do the same. Looking back, I think it’s best to say, ‘This is really sweet, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Can we slow down a little?’ Everything in due time. You could pretend you weren’t offended or weirded out, but what good would that do?”
Oh, I could recount endless times a guy has left me speechless over gift selections. Oddly enough, Valentine’s Day is about the only time I haven’t been in this awkward situation. I’m always the type to use humor, so, knowing me, I’d start clowning myself or make a tongue-in- cheek comment about the guy. What would you do?
When you think about it, it’s probably difficult for a new couple to aim for the exact same degree of efforts in gifts/gestures.
Do you think that unmatched efforts mean you are not feeling the same way about one another? Is that a good time to have the talk?
What was the most inappropriate or outrageous gift you received from a date? How did you handle it?
It’s all love … links:
A Love Story: Love in the HOV lane
A Marriage Story: Cupid on duty at Rhodes Hall
Penguin Love: Love at the Atlanta Aquariam