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Cupid’s Aftermath: Advice from The Love Squad

I hope you all survived the weekend! Some of you probably can relate to today’s topic. If it hasn’t happened to you, well, great, just consider yourselves prepared if it ever does:  You or your date under- or over-delivered on Valentine’s Day.  Right, so that’s awkward? The gifts/gestures you had are not even close to the same effort.  Now there’s like a cheap stuffed pink elephant in the room.

Should you address it or pretend it didn’t happen? How do you react to an over the top or dreadful gift/gesture from your Valentine?

Daniel, 27, Atlanta.:

“Probably better to address the issue. If you are ‘the scmhuck,’ you should probably acknowledge to your date that you didn’t make the day as special as you might have wanted. That shouldn’t be the determinant of everything. Honesty and a good effort going forward should go a long way.”

Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta.:

“Oh, my, this happened to me. We had only been dating a short time before V-Day. I played it casual (and assumed he was) by getting him something small and funny. I felt terrible he had spent a ton on me, and I had just gotten him a freakin’ cookie. I told him I loved the ring (which I did), but a few weeks later, I asked him to take it back and put the money in a savings account for our potential future.”

Martin, 40’sh, Atlanta:

“It’s easy to say that ‘It’s the thought that counts,’ but it can be quite awkward if one doesn’t appear to put in the time and effort of the other around Valentine’s Day. It should be addressed and discussed, and then both parties should move on. The person lacking effort on Valentine’s Day better prepare for a big comeback on the other’s birthday”

LaShonn, 39, Atlanta.:

“I’ve been there – on both ends. I’ve gone w-a-a-a-y overboard, and had someone else catch me off-guard and do the same. Looking back, I think it’s best to say, ‘This is really sweet, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Can we slow down a little?’ Everything in due time. You could pretend you weren’t offended or weirded out, but what good would that do?”

Oh, I could recount endless times a guy has left me speechless over gift selections.  Oddly enough, Valentine’s Day is about the only time I haven’t been in this awkward situation. I’m always the type to use humor, so, knowing me, I’d start clowning myself or make a tongue-in- cheek comment about the guy. What would you do?

When you think about it, it’s probably difficult for a new couple to aim for the exact same degree of efforts in gifts/gestures.

Do you think that unmatched efforts mean you are not feeling the same way about one another?  Is that a good time to have the talk?

What was the most inappropriate or outrageous gift you received from a date? How did you handle it?

It’s all love … links:

A Love Story: Love in the HOV lane

A Marriage Story: Cupid on duty at Rhodes Hall

Penguin Love: Love at the Atlanta Aquariam

337 comments Add your comment

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
12:53 pm

@kimmie
He obviously had her fooled for a min and thought I was being hard on him because she is like a little sister and says I’m “over protective”. Its hard to say, but you know you have had friends tell you bout some of the losers in your past but ignored until you found out for yourself.

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
12:55 pm

@ Kimmie~The mere fact that my SO & I do so much for each other the other days makes it crazy for him to put $80 into some roses for v-day

AMEN!, that’s what i’m saying

@Raqui~ if you S/O got you that big bundle of roses for your birthday or Christmas would you feel the same way about them? Or would you just say thank you and be happy?……………..And just to make my point a little plainer Christmas, birthdays, mother’s day are all only just one-day-out-of-the-year also

yep, I know

In the end I’m not saying oh please don’t do anything, yeah right what woman you know gonna say that. I’m just saying because we are or at least we should be handling the love 365 don’t go all overboard every single v-day, christmas, birthday etc….it’s the simple things that warm my heart, truth be told i’ve been on both sides I once had a boyfriend buy me a dozen peach roses and yes i was happy BUT I was happy because they were peach roses (which meant he listened) because Orange is my favorite color and that was the closest he could get to an orange rose (the rose part was his preference) but the best time i remember celebrating my birthday was the one when we just sat out under the stars and talked.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
12:56 pm

Melo: If you are insistent upon going to Ihop we can go to Ihop.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
12:58 pm

Sounds like the gf is being used as his “beard.”

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

@Melo
I got an extra $5 for Ihop with I am. She is making me so sad and I want her to be so happy.

@I am
Chill out mama its not that bad babe. Yesterday is over and we have no clue what the rest of the day will bring. Maybe even Prince Charming. Will you be ready for him or will he pass you by because he can see the “weight on your shoulders” and keep it moving?

PRINCESSNIK

February 15th, 2010
1:00 pm

@ Raqui ~Those things that we call simple actually require more effort and thought than a high dollar going overboard gift.~

exactly!, so like someone said earlier at least you know it wasn’t just something they came up just during a weekly trip to walmart (or something like that) which to me means they are just doing it cause that’s what’s expected of them.

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:05 pm

hi bloggsville!!! i missed y’all. it’s only been a couple of days i know . . . but still.

i say if your guy didn’t take valentine’s day serious, let it go. don’t start something over bs. maybe he doesn’t like v-day. my older sis can’t stand v-day.

if you did something small for your man and he went all out, that’s ok. take the next couple of days and make it up to him. sounds fun!

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:11 pm

waffle house . . . *sigh*. i have one great memory from there. the one off 20 past douglasville. we met on yahoo personals and decided to get the first meet and greet over. it was so romantic. our first kiss was a panty dropper.

i found his phine self on FB, but don’t think it’s a good idea to add him.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:13 pm

I was at wal-mart this past Saturday and actually LOL at all the dudes w/teddybears, candy, roses and those ridiculously big balloons.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:15 pm

Dig that: @Melo
I got an extra $5 for Ihop with I am. She is making me so sad and I want her to be so happy.

That put a smile on my face, Thanks.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:20 pm

Cupid’s Aftermath: 2 Hours after I had fallen asleep I was still feeling the pound of the thrust. LOL

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:21 pm

Cupid’s After-Aftermath: I am still thinking about it and it made me smile.

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:22 pm

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:24 pm

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust

@Raqi?

u gon kill Beautiful and I am whatever with ur showing off!

Please keep their grandma panties dry,if u dont mind :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:25 pm

Cupid’s Aftermath: 2 Hours after I had fallen asleep I was still feeling the pound of the thrust. LOL

TMI!!!! TMI!!!!!!

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:26 pm

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:29 pm

question for the blog:

Anyone believe in Psychics?

A friend of mine has made predictions about me that have come tru and her last prediction though I like the outcome, I don’t like the time frame in which it supposed to occur.

Do any of you belive in what they say?

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:30 pm

In the shed justa pumpin anda sweating. Raqi had relations

Beautiful ♥

February 15th, 2010
1:31 pm

not really. i go for fun!

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:31 pm

@Iam
One way for me to truly believe is to have your friend hit me up and let me get them lottery numbers and I will let you know if you should be listening to them or not.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:32 pm

I am whatever, close you eyes.

Melo I have a really interesting looking hicky that was in effort to be made in the shape of a heart. It’s cute but kinda looks like a heart blob. And kinda big. LOL

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

Somebody come over here and tickle me….I need to laugh before I start screaming! Any jokes anyone??

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:33 pm

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust

@Raqi??

that tells me urs is kinda elevated,with fatty lips! :lol:

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:37 pm

Good Afternoon, all.

Since I’ve always felt that V-day was a day for the ladies, I never really cared if I got anything in return.
I am not a big fan of the day either, but that is more because of the commericialization of it.

Come to think of it, I never ask for anything for any material gifts for any holiday (including Christmas). But that is just me, I think that a person’s time is priceless. So, I am appreciative when someone decides to share some of the their time on earth with me.

Mr. Unknown

February 15th, 2010
1:38 pm

Aftermath: If women don’t participate in Vday, and give nothing. Red flag for me… Also how many people were contacted by their EX Last night? I got two msg by text asking what I was doing.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:38 pm

Tickling Leggs. Stop kicking or I’m gonna stop.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:39 pm

where is Rell??

maybe Swiss might help..

I was gon ask what name is given to those women nana lips that actually kinda grip and suck the wang…u really feel the grip and suck on ur johnson..whats the negro name or ebonics name for them lovely wet lips??

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

Raqi…

I was still feeling the pound of the thrust
TMI….TMI. Then again, you could have told us that your jaws were still hurting. That would have been more TMI. :lol:

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:40 pm

Poppa, even if you know your wife wants to get you something do you not let her know what you want?

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:41 pm

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:44 pm

Melo and Poppa, since the topic is about the after feeling of not getting anything I figured I would add my positive spin and tell about the gift I received that keeps on giving.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:47 pm

Raqi, when I want something, I got the money to get myself.

If she sees something that she would like to see me wear, she is free to purchase it. However, I don’t go looking through the JC Penneys wishbook circling things.

The way that I see is that she has really given me what I really need and want. Her heart and the opportunity to share her life’s journey with me. I have the pleasure of sharing my life’s journey with her. Her love and support is really all that I need and want. Material things are man made and all man made things are imperfect. There is no Toyota recall on how I feel about that chick.

Leggs

February 15th, 2010
1:48 pm

Ironically, I did laugh at that Dig That!

@Raqi ~ why you wanna go and throw salt in our wounds! Go sit down!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:49 pm

Her heart and the opportunity to share her life’s journey with me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. There is nothing wrong with you letting her know of something you wouldn’t mind her getting since she is wanting to get you something.

(Disclaimer: LOL)

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
1:51 pm

LOL Leggs, just look at it like this, we more than likely would have still done it had it not even been V-day.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:51 pm

lol @ dig:

a long time ago she made a prediction about me.
We lost contact somehow but her prediction came true.
We recently came in contact and she made another prediction about me.
Not sure if it will happen or not. I’ll get back to you in 5 yrs when it’s suppossed to occur.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
1:52 pm

whats the prediction I am?? and how old will u be in 5 yrs

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:54 pm

As for yesterday, Mrs. PG when downstairs and brought her pole into the bedroom. She gave me a champagne room style lapdance and made a personalized CD for me with all of the song that she used during that dance. So, I can put that CD in the player anytime and any place and reminisce when we aren’t able to be together.

As for my gift to her, I actually spent a little bit of loot (not a ton though). I got her tickets to the Alicia Keys/Melanie Fiona/Robin Thicke concert in March. Along with another personalized Build-A-Bear made in Arbor Place Mall.

DIG THAT

February 15th, 2010
1:55 pm

I was really hoping for them lottery numbers. It doesn’t have to be for this weeks drawing. Next week is fine too.

Eiljah

February 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

Good Afternoon folks of the blog world!

V-day…. I have dated ladies on both sides of the ledger! Some who wanted big gifts for V-day and some who just appreciated you thinking and spending quality time with them on V-day! Once I know their personality and what they appreciate in life that is how I taylor my gifts!

Although I do not expect anything on V-day,I have dated some ladies who would go all out in buying me some very expensive gifts for V-day.

If I am dating you gifts will come thru out the whole year!

Hola Professor,
I see I have some competition huh!

For Real

February 15th, 2010
1:57 pm

V-Day, Xmas, or b-Days are only important to the people that thinks they are important. Me personally I believe b-days are more important than any of those other days. V-Day and Xmas are nothing but an opportunity for companies to push their product and I don’t buy into it.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
1:58 pm

Melo the prediction was that I would have a baby born in September.
Had I not miscarried, the baby would have been born in September.

Poppa Grande

February 15th, 2010
1:59 pm

Raqi

LOL. At times I can tell that she is frustrated by it. So, occasionally, I will tell her want I want. Like last week when she asked, I told her that I wanted that Chevelle that I saw for sale at the carwash at the corner of Northside and Boone(Simpson).

I can buy me a shirt anytime. As a matter of fact, I still have about $600 in gift cards to Dillards from Christmas, my birthday, and other occasions. (Most of my friends know that I like Dillards because of the Big & Tall selection is usually pretty nice and fit me pretty well.)

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Melo : in 5 yrs I will be 5 years older than what I am now :p

geesh! what is with Melo and his age obsession.

I am whatever you say I am

February 15th, 2010
2:00 pm

Melo: we had lost contact way before I got pregnant.
She made the prediction about me several years before I got prego.

Melo

February 15th, 2010
2:06 pm

@ I am..so she on it then coz she has predicted one that was on target be4!

if she said anything about/to do with prego again,u might as well just have to come ova here and i do the do..

I dont usually fire blanks! :lol:

kimmie

February 15th, 2010
2:08 pm

Folks always tripping about commercialization & companies trying to sell things.

What’s wrong with folks trying to get their hustle on and make money & create jobs?

Just kidding(kinda) LOL!!

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:11 pm

Poppa, the thing that my husband learned about me when we started dating is I like to give gifts. He, like you and many other guys, used to say it was not that important to him, but he seeing that it’s what I do learned to just throw the hint out there if he wanted something in particular. I don’t mind the hints. In fact I prefer them.

I don’t need a special day to get him something that I want him to have, but when it comes to birthdays and the like I want to get him something that I know he wants.

There is a difference in him liking the things that I get him and him wanting something in particular.

And I don’t like to give gift cards. I try to only give them when I just can’t come up with anything, or I am mailing the gift.

Raqi

February 15th, 2010
2:14 pm

Folks always tripping about commercialization & companies trying to sell things.

LOL You are right. But folks seem to not trip during the non gift giving times of the year. I find that quite hilarious.

Hallmark sell cards year round but people only trip when the commercials are coming back to back. Yet the price of cards stay the same.

And it’s even more funny because during the gift giving time you can get stuff on sale and folks still complain.

For Real

February 15th, 2010
2:15 pm

I am: Heyyyy look it’s Peggy the Psychic!

Peggy: Hey I am how are you?

I am: Uses da psychic tell me!

Peggy: Child I see you still funny as hellz. Oh my, oh my…

I am: What’s wrong Peggy the Psychic?

Peggy: The psychic world is speaking to me about you

I am: They are? What are they saying Peggy the Psychic?

Peggy: When YKK come into your life pull it. Oh.. the connection is broken.

I am: When YKK come into my life pull it?

Peggy: Yep. That will be $13.95

I am: What does that mean Peggy the Psychic? You got change for a $20?

Peggy: You will know when you see it my child. Naw but I will credit your account on your next reading.

I am: Cool, you take care Peggy the Psychic. When YKK come into my life pull it?

For Real: Heyyyyyy I am!