There’s no escaping it now. We are only 48 hours away from the most hated/loved “hallmark holiday” ever. If you’re in the throes of a “new” romance, you’re probably considering this weekend as the “right time” for the first time. It’s not all your fault – between the sappy love songs, mushy commercials, and hoopla associated with Valentine’s day, your defenses are down! Before you get swept away in the moment, let’s get our Love Squad back to weigh in on today’s topic:
Is a woman doomed to casual status indefinitely if she decides to hook up with a potential boyfriend?
Daniel, 27, Atlanta. Longest relationship: “10 months and counting”:
“I’d say if you’re looking for an actual relationship of the reasonably-solid variety, hooking up early in the deal will not help your case. Guys enjoy a challenge, and a girl who doesn’t casually give it up presents an interesting challenge. She makes a guy choose whether he’s interested in her, or generic booty. A girl’s stock as potential girlfriend material may actually rise if she plays it cool and doesn’t give in too easily.”
Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta. Current relationship status: “Happily relationshipped for 10 months”:
“It just depends. When I was younger I was more casual about the timing. My longest relationship started off like a firecracker and it worked out for two years. My dating habits have changed as I’ve gotten older. I’m not interested in getting to know someone intimately until I know whether we’re compatible in many other ways first”
Martin, 40’sh, Atlanta. Longest relationship: “Four years”:
“No, I don’t necessarily equate hooking up or sleeping over with indefinite casual status. That should actually lead to the beginning of something more serious and definite – and if it doesn’t, both parties need to address it quickly before emotions totally take over.”
LaShonn, 39, Atlanta. Longest relationship: “Three years – and about one year longer than it should have been”:
“If she decides to “hook up” too early in the relationship, the answer is YES. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?! There’s nothing wrong with waiting, and if he can’t wait, he’s not worth it”
Well we have a range of responses from our Love Squad. Way to keep it interesting, guys! I’m leaning toward the waiting side. Men really hate to hear this from us, but it’s true: When we really, really like you, we want to prolong the first time. Not only does it build anticipation, it deepens our connection with you. No connection, no dice. So forgive us for thinking s-o-o-o much of you that we actually want to give a potentially great romance a better start! I mean, really. What are we thinking so much for anyway, right? (Is that enough sarcasm?)
Should you be mindful about when you decide to be intimate the first time? What are the real (not imaginary!) risks? Would you say that your first time with someone was related or unrelated to how your relationship progressed or regressed?
What do you think? Take the poll and let us know!
Down to the wire for Valentine’s Day plans? You can look at these, we won’t tell!
What every Cupid needs to know:
Music to get you going — or not:
Inside scoops to help you make some magic:
Inside Access: Special Valentine’s Day events around Atlanta
Flower power: Tips for buying an arrangement, how to keep it fresh