I once read “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment. One of our readers sent me an article about a book that I had seen making its rounds in social networking, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Right Enough.
When I first heard about Ms. Gottlieb, she had written an article with the same premise in The Atlantic. I blogged about the article, and I see the article was precursor for the book, and now there’s word that a movie deal is in the works.
Here’s the thing, I’ve figured out that insecurity (especially female) is a billion dollar industry. It’s easy to get caught up in the craze of books, movies, and other forms of mass media (including dating blogs!). I think the most important thing everyone should remember is having standards is normal. Having unrealistic, fairytale fantasies is a recipe for disaster.
When you start the slippery slope of calling someone “good enough” or the ever so narcissistic “settling”, then you are setting yourself up for failure and unhappiness. As the quote said, don’t trade what you want most for what you want at the moment.
We have discussed having some standards before, and most of us agree that they are necessary. Can our standards be the reason we aren’t coupled up? I would argue that it’s not. Why do you think that single people are perceived as having our standards too high?
If you are not married or in a relationship, why do people think it is because you are being too picky and unrealistic? I am not saying we all can’t use a healthy dose of reality. Especially when it comes to being overly shallow. I just don’t think there are boatloads of men and women not giving each other a chance because of something silly.
Is it just me or is the idea of settling some kind of twisted logic? If you see it in that way, how is it healthy to stay with someone? What does it say about your own character? It sounds like a person with an entitlement problem, mixed in with judgment issue. How attractive.