Free Milk Everywhere
Alright, so by now you have heard the tired old time honored axiom “Why buy the cow, when the milk is free”. I have always been convinced that a male came up with this phrase. I just don’t want to believe that any self-respecting woman would compare women and all they offer in marriage to cow and cow’s milk.
The argument here is so problematic, I actually don’t know where to start, but for discussion purposes I want to opine about two points:
1. Shouldn’t men oppose the idea that sex is the only real benefit to marriage? Especially when so many complain that sex is the one thing that greatly changes post-marriage?
2. This expression doesn’t address how cows (women?) benefit from milk (sex?) in a way that makes it all worthwhile.
My dear readers, are you in agreement with the idea that men won’t marry as long as they have heifers (har!) who give it up freely, without commitment?
If every single (and married?) woman suddenly closed for “free business”, would there be a hike in ring purchases and weddings?
Ladies, do we really want to marry a man who is seeking marriage solely for sex? I’m just wondering if this would be a good enough reason to get married and stay married, what are your thoughts?
Happy Monday!
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197 comments Add your comment
Kym
February 1st, 2010
8:35 am
Okay Wisey I know I have been gone a minute..are you getting married or something? Someone should really send out bulletins when these things happen. I am not a man so I have no clue why menfolks decide to jump the broom. But I have heard different reason..none of which involved they get to have sex regularly. I think I would be pretty weirded out..if a guy wants to marry just so he can have a regular lay. If that is the only reason..why not set up a sex account and hire a professional?
Lady J
February 1st, 2010
8:43 am
its more to the pie….milk is just a much needed ingredient….on the flip side many men and women complain after jumping the broom the bedroom shuts down after kids and routine set in meaning they not getting it or the way the got it is a far memory….hmmmmmm
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
8:45 am
If men venture into a marriage thinking sex is the only real advantage, they’re in a rude awakening. To have that mindset immediately puts a woman in realm of chattel.
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
8:52 am
Marriage solely for sex? A disaster waiting to happen.
Marriage is a big responsibility and I don’t care how great the sex is it not enough to make a marriage work nor is it enough to base a marriage on. There will be times when sex won’t happen so you better be in it for other reasons.
For me marriage is about commitment, companionship and devotion over and above love and friendship. It’s about giving yourself and of yourself to that one person. Yeah people are going to say you can do all of that without getting married but it’s not same. I know people that are divorced and just from knowing them marriage is not that easy to walk away from.
And all in all marriage is honorable.
So yeah, sex is the wrong reason to get married. There are so many other aspects of life that you have deal with in sharing life and house with another person. While sex is a vital part in marriage it just isn’t enough to make it stick. It’s doesn’t heal all wounds or solve all matters.
Sex is good but you need more.
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
8:57 am
…are you in agreement with the idea that men won’t marry as long as they have heifers (har!) who give it up freely, without commitment?
I don’t agree with this. Men will always have heifers around them. Men marry for a myriad of reasons and getting away from heifers could be a perk.
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
8:59 am
Now do I think there are people that get married with sex being the motivating factor? Yes. But that is usually more on the religious end of things. “No sex before marriage”. I think a lot of youngsters find themselves getting married blindly and then realizing it’s more than notion to live and deal with the person day in and day out.
I don’t knock anyone’s belief but I do know from just my upbringing that many do get married when nature starts coming heavy and they want to obey what they believe. There is nothing wrong with that as long as they are made aware that life is going to happen after you have broken ground.
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
9:14 am
Leggs, actually I do agree with that statement that some men will not marry the woman as long as he can get the sex freely. While it’s not right and it’s dumb it still stands true for some.
That’s why some men feel that some women use sex as a bargaining tool. The truth is that some women do use sex as a manipulating tool, but there are some women that truly believe sex belongs strictly in marriage and will not waiver from that. And those women have that right. Just like the men that live by that belief have that right.
The men and women that don’t want to marry frown upon those that will not give it up outside of marriage. The say that those people are using sex to bargain but they are not. They are sticking to their belief.
And many of us may know in an instance or two that marriage never came into play for some of those that went against their belief and gave in to a partner that stressed the need for sex.
I always say if you know a person is abstaining and/or celibate and you care enough about them, then marry them and stop trying to break them.
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
9:16 am
You shouldn’t marry just to have sex. What are you going to do with each other if medically you can’t have sex for a while. Sex never keeps a relationship for long. All the other imperfections of your mate will surface and grate on your nerve, and you’ll soon be wondering what the hell did you see in this person other than a nice body and the ability to wind, wind and wind some more!
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
9:29 am
Just sitting here thinking about some of the discussions that have taken place on this very blog, there still are men out there that are on the free sex train. You read comments like “there are too many women out there to be had” or “why will I settle down with one woman when I don’t have a problem getting sex from other willing participants”. Those type of statements alone leads you believe that many men feel there is no need to get married if you can get sex without the attachment.
So while they will not marry for sex, they also will not marry as long as they can get it “free”.
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
9:30 am
@Raqi ~ I took that statement to mean men may not marry at all as long as heifers are around. Not necessarily marrying the cow that’s giving it up. Just marry in general when sex is aplenty.
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
9:34 am
Sorry, I really didn’t mean to refer to women as “cows.”
abc
February 1st, 2010
9:35 am
If the only reason he’ll marry you is so you’ll have sex with him, wrong guy.
If the only reason she’s holding out on you is so that you’ll marry her, wrong girl.
There’s a lot more to successful relationships, and especially successful marriages, than sex. That’s obvious; if sex is a primary motivator, you’re not marriage material.
M. (pronouced M dot)
February 1st, 2010
9:41 am
Morning.
“are you in agreement with the idea that men won’t marry as long as they have heifers (har!) who give it up freely, without commitment?”
I think guys will definately get bored with this type of situation because there really is no substance or connection so after a while; they may be looking to take their business elsewhere. I also think if they date alot and can recognize a great woman compared to the trash they used to deal with, I think they will marry.
“If every single (and married?) woman suddenly closed for “free business”, would there be a hike in ring purchases and weddings?
I really dont agree with this statement because this makes women act like they are doing a guy a favor by allowing him to patronize the “free business”. First, it’s not free. Guys have to jump through alot of hoops, play alot of games with women sometimes to get to this point anyway. That’s why they call it the CHASE.
Also women get alot out of this also. Some even like it more than guys. So what if guy’s decided to liquidate and close business, what would happen? Would there be a jump in suicides, angry woman syndrome (AWS)?
Sassy Me.... :-)
February 1st, 2010
9:55 am
So what if guy’s decided to liquidate and close business, what would happen? Would there be a jump in suicides, angry woman syndrome (AWS)?
I would loove to see that happen…
There’s a lot more to successful relationships, and especially successful marriages, than sex. That’s obvious; if sex is a primary motivator, you’re not marriage material.
Ditto abc.
M. (pronouced M dot)
February 1st, 2010
9:59 am
@Sassy Me
“I would loove to see that happen…”
LOL on which sides? I think the guys could still survive.
Melo
February 1st, 2010
10:02 am
“Why buy the cow, when the milk is free”
The statement is true to some point becoz men have short term interests for the most part.If females allow men to “hit” without catching feelings and expecting more from them,men will “hit” adnoseum.U can absolutely bet on this!
Men are not going to pull back if the sex is being given out without some sort of “pre-conditions”.Why do u think a lot of females want to get out when they think they are being strung along and the relationship aint going nowhere?Its becoz they feel they are giving out the “milk” and letting the guy enjoy all the cushy priviledges of a cow owner,but the female is not getting any return of a permanent long lasting relationship.
As to ur first qstion,men do not necessarily equate good sex will lead to marriage but if a men can have the sex and a realtionship without the marriage,men wld surely choose that if that were an option.
As for qstion number too,honesly,most men care about their well being and satisfaction more than they care for hers.But to have a more satisfying sexual experience,if she can enjoy hers while servicing him,hes all the more pleased.As long as it ends there and there are no additional demands,men will not complain,trust me.
If this was all up to men,we wld surely have a world of rolling stones.
Thank God,as in america,we definetly need these 2 protagonists in order to come up with a more balanced lyfe and thats why some women will “close shop for free business” leading to the need for marriage.
Give it free,we well have it!
Good morning!
Melo
February 1st, 2010
10:02 am
will have it!
Luvbug
February 1st, 2010
10:03 am
My dear readers, are you in agreement with the idea that men won’t marry as long as they have heifers (har!) who give it up freely, without commitment?
No, some men are happily married to their supposed ex “heifers”. Maybe I’m in the minority…but most married people I know were having sex before marriage.
DreamsMaterialize
February 1st, 2010
10:04 am
Morning
Maybe I’ve misunderstood the saying all along. I always thought the “milk” referred to a marriage-type relationship, without the actual license and blessing. So, why by the cow (get married) if you’re already getting the milk (sex, kids, one household, exclusivity, fidelity, etc) for free.
If it could REALLY happen that women terminated free business, then you might see an increase in marriages…along with an increase in cheating.
Luvbug
February 1st, 2010
10:06 am
I have always taken milk in that saying to mean “all things as if you’re married including sex”. I think a wo/man has a right to live under that belief system. However, I don’t think it’s a qualifier for marriage or a happy marriage.
There are plenty of happily married people who held out until marriage and many other happily married people who lied, cheated, manipulated and slept with most everything person under the sun before they married.
I am not of the mind that good things come to good people and bad to bad. I feel you get what you get in life…no earning.
Sassy Me.... :-)
February 1st, 2010
10:11 am
on which sides?
M dot I meant that from the man’s side,however as I type I understand that there could be some fall out from both sides. I’ve met a few celibate(by choice not circumstance) men in my days just not alot….at all. That being said I still don’t think women would go jumping off cliffs is by some cosmic intervention a man liquidated his assets and closed shop.
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
10:13 am
Good and frequent sex does not guarantee marriage just like the same will not prevent it.
PRINCESSNIK
February 1st, 2010
10:15 am
@DREAMS M
Maybe I’ve misunderstood the saying all along. I always thought the “milk” referred to a marriage-type relationship, without the actual license and blessing. So, why by the cow (get married) if you’re already getting the milk (sex, kids, one household, exclusivity, fidelity, etc) for free.
That’s what i thought also I thought it was the whole package.
Raqi
February 1st, 2010
10:18 am
Mdot, while many, many women love sex just as much as the next man, men as we all know in majority are more sexually charged.
I think the average man would go looking elsewhere before the woman if the shop was to get closed in their relationship.
Melo
February 1st, 2010
10:22 am
Good and frequent sex does not guarantee marriage just like the same will not prevent it.
It wld prevent marriage if the free milk were freely available anywhere else and was the norm.It is not the norm to get “free milk” from women in our society becoz there is another “norm”,which is marriage.
If that were not an issue with most women and the women were all or most were happy with just sex and possible a relationship without necessarily resulting in or expecting marriage,there wldnt be any marriages, for the most part.
Luvbug
February 1st, 2010
10:30 am
2. This expression doesn’t address how cows (women?) benefit from milk (sex?) in a way that makes it all worthwhile.
I think initially the woman’s untouched milk was to the benefit of her family…if they educated her and kept her a virgin…they can marry her up into a “good” family and come up as well…people still practice this (or things similar to it) on the sly (yes, Americans included)
THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING
February 1st, 2010
10:41 am
Yawn ;-(
THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING
February 1st, 2010
10:48 am
Ok I have something to say..
Beyonce won six Grammys.. Well D@mn.. Ok she an Entertainer but J Hud can BLOW! Sheesh Pink can sing better than Beyonce and is more original.. And looked pretty d@mned good in that swing suit she had on.. I can think of sooo many other chicks that can really SANG that dont get the accolades they deserve.. This corporate shell game Kills me..
Ok I had to vent..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING
February 1st, 2010
10:55 am
Free Milk and Free Tube Steak.. So.. Sex helps but its the first thing to go when the marriage starts to fall apart.. You are not gonna wanna have sex with someone you dont like.. Nobody gets married for just sex because you can get way more single.. Most people get married for the companionship and dare I say it. LOVE..
THE INFAMOUS DK aka THE KING
February 1st, 2010
10:57 am
Age plays a factor in the responses.. Cause in my 20’s you couldnt have paid me to marry a babe.. Hence the one that got away…
Ummmmmm!
February 1st, 2010
11:11 am
Men who only want sex from a women here is an article that you can use!
Inventor unveils $7,000 talking sex robotBy Brandon Griggs, CNN
February 1, 2010 9:34 a.m. EST
TrueCompanion claims that more than 4,000 men have placed pre-orders for Roxxxy robots, and another 20,000 or so have requested information about the product.
“There’s really nothing like this on the market,” said Hines, who speaks of his unique creation with what seems like genuine affection. “Whenever she’s out in public, everyone wants to talk to her and pose for pictures. It’s so cute.”
Sassy Me....Atlantis :-)
February 1st, 2010
11:17 am
Pink can sing better than Beyonce and is more original.. And looked pretty d@mned good in that swing suit she had on..
I’m with you on Bey and the Grammy’s. I watched some of her performance but all of that writhing around stage on her knees and throwin her lace front all ova the place is a little old to me. I thought Pink was hawt and her performance was good and original…I expect someone to try that in the near future.
kimmie
February 1st, 2010
11:22 am
DK – Beyonce got nominated and won for certain songs she put out over the course of the year. Yeah, every year there may be folks that can SANG better, but did they put out an album THAT YEAR?
But yeah, it’s quite a bit of politics involved! I had to stop watching the Grammy’s because I would just get mad every year! This time I tuned in for certain performances, like Maxwell.
Mr. Lurker ( B.K.A. 007)
February 1st, 2010
11:25 am
Milk is good for the bones!
Immaturity would play a huge role with any boy who only wants sex from a women! A boy who is lacking maturity will not have the mental capacity to realize the true value of having a wife who brings substantially more then good sex to the relationship!
Luvbug
February 1st, 2010
11:26 am
throwin her lace front all ova the place
that tickled me
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
11:32 am
Ok, seems like this topic has quickly fizzled out.
What stops more and more from settling down besides the courts? Are men happier without woman supporting him in all his endeavors? Are women happier going solo having peace of mind from all the BS out there? Hmmm…..
DreamsMaterialize
February 1st, 2010
11:33 am
I haven’t watched a grammies since MJ took home all the awards.
East Point's Own
February 1st, 2010
11:38 am
Men never stop having offers of free milk, but men get married every day so that is clearly a false idea.
I was discussing yesterday how the Government is defining marriage as just an institution for sex. Maryland is now joining the states where the primary requirement for a divorce is that you not have sex for 1 year. Currently the law says that a couple must live in separate households for 1 year before a divorce is granted. I feel that if a divorce can only be granted after not having sex for 1 year the states are saying that sex is all that holds a marriage together. If you don’t have sex for 1 year you can get a divorce, they are not considering any other factors just when was the last time you had sex… I was told that GA is also one of those states where a divorce is granted based on the last time you were intimate.
This furthers my belief that marriage should be a 100% religious ceremony and the Govt. should not be involved in the process at all. To the Govt. all people should be individuals, with the exception of children and those who are unable to make decisions for themselves.
Once again this is just http://hispointofview.com
kimmie
February 1st, 2010
11:40 am
On topic:
I think with modern times, the outlook on intimacy before marriage has changed. Years ago, many women went from their parents house to husbands and at a pretty young age. Her purity and “good reputation” were a lot of what she had to offer. Now, a lot of women go to college and/or out in the workworld before they marry. You better come with a lot more to offer, bring “something to the table”. Yeah, guys can get “it” anywhere because there are a lot that are willing to share, but not just random women, unless it’s for religious reasons, intimacy is a part of dating relationships. So yeah, there has to be more going on, not only for men to do the asking, but for the couple to even be discussing marriage. At least, that’s how I look at it.
kimmie
February 1st, 2010
11:42 am
Dreams – I’m with you, hasn’t been the same or as exciting as when MJ used to get all the awards!
Melo
February 1st, 2010
11:43 am
Ok, seems like this topic has quickly fizzled out.
no more “free milk” Leggs?
I am whatever you say I am
February 1st, 2010
11:45 am
I’m convinced GOD does not want me to marry.
Yes, I believe that if women everwhere banded together and did not give sex up freely-more men would commit.
Back in the 40’s, majority women saved themselves for marriage, and men were more likely to get married. At least, that’s what I was told.
Anyhoo, I give up on love.
I’m saying goodbye to romance.
Luvbug
February 1st, 2010
11:47 am
Don’t give up I AM. If marriage is what you want, go for it.
Leggs
February 1st, 2010
11:48 am
@Melo ~ I think that’s been established!
Professor
February 1st, 2010
11:49 am
Hola!
I hope we do not have any men snooping around just for free pocket poochie. If that is the case do not dress it up and play like you are ready for marriage…tell her like this:
Lil momma I like you and the way you carry yo’self I want to get in that meaning your pocket poochie. If you are slow that is her pocketbook and her bootay at the same time. Why pretend to be a man of wealth and honor when you are a low class gigalo (sp)? Just tell her and go from there…
Melo
February 1st, 2010
11:50 am
Back in the 40’s, majority women saved themselves for marriage, and men were more likely to get married.
u sure RIGHT, “you say I am,whatname?”!!!
Free Milk was not plentiful!
Sassy Me....Atlantis :-)
February 1st, 2010
11:52 am
Anyhoo, I give up on love.
I’m saying goodbye to romance.
You sound like I do at times but all is not lost….it’s not.
Off topic(kinda): Is anyone planning anything super especiale for Valentines’s day?
kimmie
February 1st, 2010
11:53 am
East Point – How do you prove you have not been intimate?
These are not the olden days. Back in the day, more women went from daddy’s house to hubby’s house. Your purity was all you had. Nowadays, the dynamics of dating are different. It’s not so much that women are passing it out all over the place, so dudes don’t feel they have to marry. Unless a couple is holding out for religious reasons, most have been intimate already. So that sort of cancels that out as a reason to marry or not, unless there are issues there. Now, you gotta bring “more to the table”. Most couples are going to have more to build on before they discuss marriage, at least I would think.
Professor
February 1st, 2010
11:54 am
I am whatever you say…
You are correct it was wedlock over bedlock and wedlock won. Men got that thang on the wedding night no if’s or but’s and if you got that thang early and she became stuffed you married her and tried to make it right. You did not see all of these BM and BD walking around here with their families looking like friends….them folks matched same DNA and name
Melo
February 1st, 2010
11:57 am
Your purity was all you had
@Kimmie??
u have really taken a swipe at purity there..like its a plague to be avoided!