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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for February, 2010

When She Pays

I can empathize with men who shell out so much money when they go out with women.  It can get expensive to pay for two people go out, especially in Atlanta.  Often times, the issue of going dutch vs. one person pays kind of works itself out after a couple of months.

When a guy offers to take me out, he plans the date and is prepared to cover the costs. When I make an effort to ask the man out, I expect to handle it in the same way.  I know some women who only feel comfortable paying for men when the costs are kept low.  The idea of paying for an expensive meals, concert tickets, or weekend trips for men just doesn’t sit well with them.

When a woman pays, should she be mindful of the amount of money she spends? Is it merely the thought and gesture of offering to pay or paying that men want to see? Does it matter if she doesn’t find a way to reciprocate to the exact degree a man has treated her?

While we are on the subject of paying, why does the idea of going dutch seem so …

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Do you trust your judgment?

My friend Nathan has been dating “Ella” exclusively for a little over a year now.  He recently found out the reason Ella’s first marriage ended was because of infidelity, on her part.  I could tell that this news was really bothering him because Nathan broke up with his fiancee three years ago because she was cheating on him.

Obviously, he is concerned about the type of woman he is drawn to.  He wonders why he seems to attract the women that have a problem staying faithful.  I tell him that women do it all the time and someone’s past should not be held against them.  What do you think?

Do some men think that female cheaters are not worthy of redemption?  A lot of women forgive cheating, overlook a partner’s past and find a way to handle it.  Is it harder for men to do this?

Have you ever noticed some kind of behavior pattern in the people that you have dated? Has that been a good thing or bad thing?

Do you trust your judgment when it comes to picking people that you date? Do …

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Dangerous Curves

An interesting thing about scientific studies , they reveal a lot about human behavior while further confirming what we already see every day.  I read this article, Curvy women like a drug to men’s brains, yesterday that stated, “For the study, 14 men with the average age of 25 looked at “before” and “after” pictures of nude women who had plastic surgery to get more shapely behinds.”  Researchers concluded by the male response that, “photos of the women resulted in increased activity in the part of the brain associated with rewards.”

Well, I suppose this study has a lot a lot of merit, but any nude picture of women is bound to to cause some kind of stimuli in a man.  I found it interesting that they attributed the male’s biological response as scientific explanation of “sexual harassment, whistling to women on the street, etc.  They even said that some of this research can be used in understanding more about sexual addiction. (Insert your own famous golfer joke here).

What do …

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Do you want me?

If someone could find a way to manufacture a crystal ball for relationships, they would be very rich.  Unfortunately, we are left to our own devices of over analyzing or misreading signals.  In the first couple of weeks, you can at least be sure that there is an attraction.  You are returning calls, agreeing to meet up, and making yourself available.  It’s the sweetest part because it’s all clear.

Then there is that period of time where one or both of you have decided how you feel about each other.  You don’t want to play yourself so you start looking to take your cues from the other person.  The problem is, they are doing the exact same thing.  So how do you know they want you as much as you want them?

Personally, I try to wait it out one until the ambiguous behavior goes away.  Sometimes, it doesn’t and I get the message and move on.  What do you do? Do you let the person know how much you want them? Are you comfortable bringing it up in a talk?

Is it important to have the …

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Dating Stimulus Plan

After a gorgeous weather weekend in Atlanta, I’ve started to get excited about Spring and Summer.  I was out and about this weekend having a wonderful time in the city.  How was your weekend?

I managed to go to at least three places I have never been to before.  It is so easy to get in a rut doing the same things, going the same places, and sometimes running into the exact same crowd.

Maybe it is time to bail out our love lives with a dating stimulus plan! Something that stimulates us so that we are  excited about where we live.  This could have a great positive effect on us, I think.  I definitely wouldn’t want to strike up a conversation with a good-looking dude only to find out that he hates Atlanta, his job, and is miserable.  I’ll pass.

Even if you want to move away, you can’t deny that there are many wonderful things about our city! If you don’t take the time to find them, it’s a reflection on you and your lack of imagination and effort – not the city. I’m just …

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Mix and Mingle For a Cause

If you don’t already know this, volunteering is sexy. In fact, I’ll take it further and say that single people who actively contribute time and efforts to their communities and charities make the best dates ever.  Guys, if you can manage to enlighten your date about your volunteer work, I can’t tell you how impressive this is to a smart woman.  It shows a lot about your character and ideals. It also sends the message that you possess traits that would be desirable in a husband and/or father.

I’m not even talking about saving the world or some superman heroics here.  Heck, just seeing a good looking man at the recycling center makes me swoon. I’m all  “aww he cares about the environment,  I bet he has a big heart” -  I’m a softie that way.

One of the wonderful things about Atlanta is that there are so many great charities and organizations that provide countless of opportunities to get involved.  If you are going to get all dressed up to go out anyway, why not mix and mingle …

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Chasing Pavements

One of my favorite singer/songwriters, Adele sings about chasing after love, even if it leads nowhere.  It reminds me of what it feels like to be the woman asking a guy out first.  I know men are used to this feeling, all the time, but for a lady, there could be more at stake.  Every time a woman asks a man out first, she is taking a risk at shifting the dynamics of a future relationship.

Is it better for a woman to make such a risk if she feels that strong of an attraction to a guy?

When women approach men, what exactly do they stand to lose? I always hear so many men say that they truly admire a woman that can ask him out.  I have no hard statistics, but these same men aren’t actually married or in a relationship with that woman.  So is it really admirable or are men secretly thinking they don’t want to be the one pursued after all?

When a woman asks a man out, is she chasing pavements? Can it ever lead to a relationship with good potential?

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Juggling Dates

One of the perks of being single and available is supposed to be all those options that are available to us.   Not everyone enjoys taking trips to the singles buffet, though.  The hardest part in dating around is knowing when to stop the rotation.

Personally, when I have met at least three potential candidates, I generally don’t put effort in meeting a bunch of other people.   If I happen to meet another person (this has happened on occasion), I am then left to decide on who is most promising.  Sometimes a guy eliminates himself out, other times I get eliminated!

When you are single, how do you manage your rotation?  What if your goal is to have a dating relationship that leads to a commitment?  It seems that men have an easier time managing their rotation because they generally know what category the women they are meet are placed in.

Some men prefer women who want to focus on only them.  There are also lot of guys that welcome this kind of dating behavior.Would you let the …

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Make An Investment

I was reading the always helpful Atlanta Bargain blog about online dating services. It got me thinking that I have never met a real life matchmaker in person.  I’ve watched them in reality television, marveling at their proclivity to read into single people’s behavior (SPB).  It is rather interesting how they correct the bad SPB (seemingly for the cameras), allowing them to attract the right type of people. Paying someone to do some of the “hunt for compatibility” leg work almost seems like a great investment.

In some cultures, parents arrange the marriages of their children. What would be the harm in paying for a similar “arrangement” from a professional? I seriously considered signing up for a professional matchmaking service because I am very curious about my “diagnosis”. Perhaps I have overlooked something that needs to be adjusted before I am truly open to meeting a potential Mr. Right. Hey, I’m wise, but I never claimed to have it all figured out!

I asked my personal …

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Cupid’s Aftermath: Advice from The Love Squad

I hope you all survived the weekend! Some of you probably can relate to today’s topic. If it hasn’t happened to you, well, great, just consider yourselves prepared if it ever does:  You or your date under- or over-delivered on Valentine’s Day.  Right, so that’s awkward? The gifts/gestures you had are not even close to the same effort.  Now there’s like a cheap stuffed pink elephant in the room.

Should you address it or pretend it didn’t happen? How do you react to an over the top or dreadful gift/gesture from your Valentine?

Daniel, 27, Atlanta.:

“Probably better to address the issue. If you are ‘the scmhuck,’ you should probably acknowledge to your date that you didn’t make the day as special as you might have wanted. That shouldn’t be the determinant of everything. Honesty and a good effort going forward should go a long way.”

Elizabeth, 30, Atlanta.:

“Oh, my, this happened to me. We had only been dating a short time before V-Day. I played it casual (and assumed he was) by …

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